Camping: Where my hair became a scarf and my ego became a stand-up routine | Wisdom Dialogues @ Sedona | October 6, 2025

🏕 Cold Campsite, Matted Mane, and Miracles in Motion

A cold campsite, a matted mane, and a mind full of one-liners—perfect conditions to practice what we say we believe.

We open with a simple invitation: stop waiting for perfect feelings before choosing peace. Instead, learn how to notice thoughts as they parade by, let your nervous system relax, and choose union—right in the middle of anger, dread, or a very stubborn knot.

We dig into the difference between the ego’s first, loud answer and the Holy Spirit’s quieter second voice. Inspiration isn’t bargain-based; it’s not held hostage by outcomes. You’ll hear how “I’ll never camp again” became a joke, how obligation can be used rather than obeyed, and why “I don’t have access because I’m upset” is the trap that keeps upset in charge.

We get candid about physical pain too—naming it as fear made sensory, using permission slips without shame, and catching the if-then thoughts—like “If this pain stays, I can’t go on”—that silently manufacture suffering.

The method is direct: feel deeper, label less, and withdraw belief from the story that your state depends on circumstances.

Relationships turn into a living lab. We unpack manipulation loops, the guilt of saying no, and how to set a warm boundary without casting anyone as a villain. Coherence becomes the compass: step toward what reflects love, step back from what doesn’t, keep your heart open either way.

Along the way, we talk Yoga Nidra, relaxing the nervous system, and the art of living in low gear—a steady watchfulness that catches tiny mental habits before they snowball into bad days.

If you’re ready to stop negotiating with reality and start practicing peace in real time—dishes, dreadlocks, neck pain, and all—press play.

If it resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and share this with a friend who’s ready to drop the if-then thoughts and choose union now. 🌞

Chapters

• 0:06 Welcome from Sedona, Set & Theme
• 0:39 Accessing Union Amid Daily Illusions
• 1:04 Camping Story: Cold, Hair, And Mind
• 5:20 Watching Thoughts Without Hooking In
• 8:20 Choosing Joy Over Outcomes
• 10:10 Q&A: Holy Spirit, Ego, And Guidance
• 15:20 Inspiration vs Outcome Attachment
• 23:42 Anger, Guilt, And The Feeling Effect
• 30:52 Comedy Of Thoughts And Non-Identification
• 38:12 Obligation: Seeing It, Using It, Releasing It
• 47:20 Listener Case: Home Business And Resistance
• 55:12 Patience, Practice, And Reprogramming
• 1:01:40 Physical Pain As Fear And Permission Slips
• 1:09:55 Working With Severe Pain In The Moment
• 1:16:40 Loving Pain, Relaxation, And Nervous System
• 1:24:40 If-Then Thoughts, Abundance, And Outcomes
• 1:33:40 Suicide Thoughts, Miracles, And Meaning
• 1:41:40 Bringing Illusion To Truth Practically
• 1:49:20 Relationships, Strategies, And Boundaries
• 1:58:00 Declining Misaligned Interactions
• 2:06:20 Stay Or Leave: Seeing Until Clear

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

Yay. Woohoo! Aloha and welcome to wisdom dialogues with Hope Johnson coming to you from Sedona, Arizona. Yay! If you're watching on a video, you can see the background. Is that from Sedona or somewhere else? It's somewhere else. Oh, it's from Utah. Apparently, I was over there this weekend. So yeah. Accessing your relationship with union. That's the key. It's accessing that relationship within all illusions. You don't need to let your energy, psychic energy, you could say, get entangled in the illusion. Thomas is laughing about that because okay, little story. We went camping this weekend and we went to a very cold, cold place. And when I'm in a cold place, apparently I feel cold. I know I'm projecting it, but still it's persistent. So what happens is I end up putting on a cap and wearing something. And I ended up with all my hair. You know, I have pretty long hair like this. And I ended up with all my hair just matted around, like dreadlocked around my neck like a collar. Like it was short hair and like it was a collar. It was badass. It was definitely keeping me warm. It was doing that. And it seemed like these tangles, like they weren't even tangles. It was like one big dreadlock. Okay. It seemed like there's no way this stuff is coming out. I spent like a half hour inside the bathroom at the campground putting oil in it. And it was just still huge mats. So I got it to where I could at least put it in a ponytail. It was so intense, like it couldn't go in a ponytail. So I got it to where I could at least wear it in a ponytail. And it looked awesome. It looked kind of funky. I looked pretty Rasta, you know. I've got this thick pony hit ponytail with het treadlocks just coming right out of it. Um, and I was smoking spliffs too. So that was a good combo. So it was fun, you know, noticing how the mind might move to get upset about things that are going on in the field. Like at one, at one point, there was a moment where I just felt this sense of dread that I'm looking around and other people have normal ass hair. What the heck happened to mine? Why does mine do that whenever I try to go hiking or camping in the cold, you know? Like, but that's what I mean about uh about the thoughts of the world. They come up in all different kinds of ways. So I'm just giving you a really, you know, a simple example of how it comes up. Like, and if it goes unnoticed, it'll ruin your day and it'll ruin your relationships if it goes unnoticed. So it's important to be kind of like on watch, watchful for where your energy is being pulled. You know, it's not like uh like being hard or anything with it, it's super gentle. You know, you want to be feeling happy and energetic and free. You're not trying to make yourself feel like you're trapped or, you know, this is gonna affect how you feel. You're always in command of how you feel. So you're always the one choosing how you feel. So to not let something like this bring me down is really just to notice the thought processes that arise, you know, a thought might come up and say, say, fuck this, I am never going camping again, right? Uh, these thoughts, they're not personal. So it doesn't really matter, it doesn't mean anything. It's just a matter of noticing that these are habitual thoughts that uh kind of like give you a nervous system trigger that makes a nervous system reaction like something's wrong, like it's not good enough. And you have complete command over that because you decide whether or not that thought is even meaningful to you. So for me, I just notice that it's it's a gift. For one, it's a gift, everything's a gift, everything is bringing forth what needs to be unwound, undone. So, in recognizing that, I can just listen to the Holy Spirit. You could say listen to the voice for joy, right? It speaks to joy, even as far as what to do about it. You know, at first it was just like, oh, there's nothing to really do about this, get warm. It's fucking cold out here. It got to 28 degrees, apparently, you know. So I was like, don't worry about your fucking hair, get warm, do your shivering or whatever you need to do, right? So I just find myself not doing anything, and then uh about that, anyways. And then as my friends are packing up, I could tell they don't really need me to help them pack up, right? So I'm going, hey, I'm gonna head over to the bathroom and try brushing my hair for a while. And so then that's the moment where I'm just and all the moments just flow super simply. Once I get my hair in a ponytail, it's just like, oh, now I don't need to do anything else about it. I just wear it in a ponytail the next day. Uh, I probably ended up working on it for about an hour and a half, right? And it was so nice because I'm just relaxing in a nice warm place, brushing my hair. It's not a big deal. It seems like it's never gonna get untangled. It seems like it's never gonna come out, right? So, but it's just like, okay, it doesn't matter where it goes, just keep on messing with it, keep putting conditioner in. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the bath. I just have conditioner going and brushing it while I'm in the bathroom. Like, this is pretty relaxing, you know. It's like just enjoying the process, and you can see it looks fabulous. No more, there's no more dreadlocks. If you're on the video with me, you can see, anyways. Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 6:50

So was the access a point that the choice, or was it just union with God? Did you how'd you feel how did you access?

SPEAKER_02: 6:59

Well, it's remembering in the moment the union with God, and that takes willingness. So if there's getting caught up in the thoughts, thoughts are thoughts are always gonna uh gonna pop up and go to the negative. That's what they do. That's why the the world is an illusion, it's just based on error. So lots of negative thoughts come up. That's okay, that doesn't mean anything, they're just allowed to pass by, and then I can just choose union again and again. So uh friend asked me some fun questions here, Glenn, and it goes just to what I'm talking about. There's only real, truly only union. That's why if you're not choosing union, if you're not willing for union, you're just dreaming. Okay. Uh, when you're choosing union, that's the reality. So let's see what Glenn had some cool cool questions. So if the Holy Spirit is illusory and the doer is also illusory, what is the mechanism and purpose of asking the spirit for guide, asking for spirit guidance prior to making an apparent decision from uh illusory self? The mechanism is the mind, the all-powerful mind. So it's an aspect of the all-powerful mind, a sense of self, a son of God, you can say, that believes himself to be a body in an illusion. So that belief to believe that is a choice, it's an ongoing choice. You could say it's a choice made in the present moment to believe that. So this is a change, it's like a change of mind, it's a change of direction by the mind. Um, so it's an illusion where it says in the illusion, Holy Spirit, what should I do? That's a symbol of willingness, so it's a symbol of the mind, which is you, the created son of God, your willingness to see things differently, and also to slow things down. You want to slow it way down, right? You don't want to be in a hurry uh to do anything, you don't want to be in a hurry to think anything, even because the one who speaks first is the ego. The Holy Spirit speaks second, okay. You program the ego to be loud and right up front and like kind of uh anxious, okay. So, yes, the illusory self apparently asks for Holy Spirit guidance, but that's a symbol of willingness of the mind's willingness. You could say that's the eye of awareness that chooses truth over illusion. Yeah, okay, if the illusory self bases its decisions, guided by the Holy Spirit, on a feeling of joy and inspiration in the moment, how would this not be more of the same illusory ego self? Well, okay, see the difference between inspiration and something that the ego wants. So, inspiration for the mind itself isn't tied to an outcome, it's just the inspiration of doing it. Like, for instance, when it came time for me to uh brush my hair, there was inspiration to brush my hair, not because I was sure that the outcome would be that the dreadlocks would come out of my hair. I wasn't sure about that. I wasn't sure that the dreadlocks would come out of my hair. I mean, I could I could picture that uh my hair looking silky, smooth, and awesome just like it does right now. But but but see, it's a matter of enjoying that idea, enjoying that idea. Everything's an idea. So it's just a matter of enjoying the idea without attaching to the outcome. See what I mean? Like I can enjoy the idea. Also, a thought crossed my mind hey, you know what? I might be calling a hairdresser and seeing if I can get a cute little pixie haircut, too. Right? And then a thought arises that says, no, maybe that'll make you look bad. You might not look that good in that hair. And you know what? All these things, they just pass through like a parade. When you watch them and you're recognizing that they're that none of them are you, it's just a story playing out. Your feeling, your sense of feeling doesn't get pulled without your authority. See? If you're always projecting how you feel, it's like taking your responsibility back to what you're doing. You're always projecting how you feel. So if you're believing a thought that says anything can go wrong about this, that's affecting how you feel. That's affecting your vibration. There's just no outcome that's wrong for me. That's the thing. I mean, geez, if I was bald tomorrow, I would still be having a good ass time with it, you know. That's the thing. It's like, well, will you play with whatever it is? Would you be willing to play with it? Um, being playful with it means actually means willing with God. That's God's will for you to not be afraid of it. See whatever the outcome, it's perfect for us. It's always perfect for us. So, yes. Access. That seems to be uh what people are people are going, I don't have access because I have this upset feeling. I believe this is what's going on, right? Since I have this sense right now that I'm angry, that means I don't have access. I gotta find a way to get out of the anger to have access. You don't have to get out of the anger, that's not it. Look at the anger as being helpful, right? Your access is within you. The anger is projected outside of you, it's not hurting you. You get to feel it, it feels like that's that that's what I've called for many, many years, and I think I got it from the presence process for many years ago. The feeling effect, the feeling effect of thinking. Feel that feeling effect, it's a feeling effect of thinking. It's not really hurting you, it's just echoing a thought. It's all idea. So if the idea arises, oh shit, I might have to get a pixie hair haircut, and I might not look that good with a pixie haircut at this point in time, right? I mean, you guys, it's like this all day long. I know it sounds like I might be talking about something that's just just like uh dumb, meaningless, whatever, but it's really all the same. It's really all the same thing. Um, so there's this uh sense of fear that comes up. Oh, what might this person think? Actual people come into my mind, their phases come into my mind. What will that person think and that person think? And and you know, when you make it so that it's transparent like that, at least to you, you don't have to go around telling everyone your thoughts like I do. Sometimes they get their feelings hurt because they're like, I didn't know you were having that thought. I'm like, it's a fucking meaningless thought. Why would you need to know about it? It doesn't mean anything about you. They they're they're insane thoughts, they just arise all the time. But you know, there's a sense of feeling guilty about the insane thought, just like there's feeling guilty about this anger coming up. And look at you could take the anger feeling and the guilt feeling, both of these things, as being just part of a show that you're watching, it's never touching you. So you're remaining in the peace of God, you're remaining in God's embrace. You don't have to leave God's embrace just because you're getting the sense that you're angry. That doesn't make any sense. The the whole purpose that you're getting the sense that you're angry is so you can demonstrate to your mind that anger doesn't touch you. Right? This is how you can finally see too that there's no justification for anger. When you see there's no justification for anger, it's not the same when anger arises for you. It's a it's a blessing to see that it can be useful useful in the moment. That's the access, that's the access to the truth. You know, you're feeling the effect of this thought that's not meaningful. And when you're feeling that effect, also being in the arms of love, staying in the arms of love. This means never coming out of it to say, uh, I wish I wasn't like that last night, for instance. It's like, man, you you know, you don't have to revert on anything that you seem to have done. In this state, you're aware that everything that you seem to do is 100% helpful 100% of the time. When you revert on that and you pretend like you uh want it to be different, you make yourself guilty. You express and you uh and and you teach yourself, you demonstrate to yourself that guilt is a real thing. You know, it's more like a way of looking at everything, like everything's a gift, including everything you say and do, and including everything that seems to happen, and everything that everyone says and does. Taking it all as a gift. So when you're saying, you know, gosh, I wish it wouldn't be like this or something like that. When you're when you're talking like that, you're talking as if you're separate. You're talking as if you're not in the embrace of God right now. You know, everything everything can be can be recognized and witnessed with the sense of awe. It's so nice that it's all happening for me this way. It's so beautiful how all of these ideas just kind of coagulated into this form and made this perfect moment just for me. Even if it's a caller of dreadlocks, see, and and you could say, especially if it is anything that seems like, oh no, this shouldn't be happening. It's funny for me, I'll kind of magnify because everything seems to be like no big deal to me. It feels like really no big deal, but I'll magnify the feelings just so that I can get a really good juicy feel of them, right? I'll magnify whatever um whatever ego voice comes up. One of them, one of them is uh really funny. It's kind of like a comedy show sometimes. It's like, man, what the fuck is up with people, man? They they pack all this shit from their house, from their comfortable house, put it in their car, drive six hours, and then unpack it. And then in this case, we move campsites in the middle of the camping. It's cold as fuck. What is up with people wanting to do shit like that? I'm like, I could see going out to that place, it's really bitching, those hoodos are fucking cool. Um, they actually have hotels where you could stay right around there. Or you can rent a trailer or something. But, anyways, that's what I mean. Like those thoughts, it's a comedy show. It doesn't really mean anything. This is like one perspective, one uh perspective on life. Uh, you could say one personality, and it just really doesn't mean anything in truth. So it's like you don't have to identify with those thoughts. They're fun to be comical and stuff like that. They're fun and funny, but it's not like there's someone here to identify with those thoughts as if that's really a thing. Because it's all just a play, anyways, arising. And you know, when it seems like, man, I can't believe all these uh what what the fuck is up with these people? Like, how do they live? Why do they want to live like that? Why do they want to go out and rough it for a couple days? It'd be all cold, right? So when you see that, you don't end up in a complaining state of mind, it's just showing as comedy, it's comical, right? So then it's not a complaining state of mind. That's the not identifying with it, it's not trying to shut it out, it's not trying to say I'm a bad person because I think of it this way. No, it's nothing like that, it's a show playing. If someone asks me, Hope, why do you think like that? It's like I don't know. I'm watching a play. I'm watching a play. I'm I'm sharing these thoughts with you, and you're perceiving them. And man, originally they were shared to me. I was just watching a show of them. Right? It's not personal, doesn't mean someone's doing something wrong. Apparently, there's a shitload of people who think that it's a great idea to just go out there in the cold.

SPEAKER_03: 22:16

That's so interesting. Because if I was with you and you were saying that in the back in the day, I'd be um, I'd take it personally. Oh, you take it personal. Like I plan this whole camping to camp. Right. You're uncomfortable, so I feel bad. Right. It's like code petit. Yeah, isn't that cool? Just making an observation and watching it.

SPEAKER_02: 22:35

Exactly. So so let's say right. So let's say Liz is like in my, let's say Liz is in my situation, or I'm in Liz's situation. She's saying, Man, if those thoughts came out while I was camping with you and I did all that all this shit for camping, I would take that really personally if those thoughts are coming out. The thing is, the thoughts are not personal. So it's like I'm not identifying with those thoughts, right? So I'm I'm able to enjoy the time I'm having with my friends out there. I'm having able to have a good ass time. That's a thing. That's the whole point, right? So if you get caught up in those thoughts, you know, you're not having a good ass time. So let's say I'm in Liz's position and I'm the camper, I'm the happy camper. I set up all this camping stuff, and I get abroad like me, camping, and and she's just like saying whatever comes to her mind, you know, she has no filter on it. She's just like, man, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Just like spending all this time, you could be spending the weekend like doing whatever you want to do. What the fuck are you guys doing over here in the cold? Like doing all this stuff, right? For me, if I was in the position where like I was the camper and that person was saying that stuff to me, I'd see it as a call for love. Like obviously, they don't know how to be detached from the thoughts that make them feel upset. So then they can't have a good ass time, right? I want people around me to be having a good ass time. So I'm just gonna go, oh, that's fucking awesome. Yeah. It's like you just really, really just let someone, oh, thanks for letting me know. Right. And and and it's it's fun because it's like, okay, well, just let me know if anything occurs to you that you think it would be more comfortable for you, you know. I'll be happy to accommodate. Because you know, a lot of the times what's going on too is you're taking something personal uh when it could just be like really easily seen through. The person may not even mean that in the way you're thinking that they mean it. They're just speaking out loud whatever's coming to their mind. And by speaking it out loud, too, they can actually see it and get released from it rather than let's say if they held it in and they repressed it and they started getting angry and then they start getting passive aggressive, right? So when you see how everything's for you and something like this comes up, you're gonna be like, oh, there's nothing personal here. This doesn't mean anything personal. Uh, a person is expressing that they're seeing these thoughts and not seeing them as purely comedic thoughts, they're taking them seriously and going, why the fuck am I here? Like, uh, you know, maybe even calculating how can I get out of here as quickly as possible. Yeah. Okay, let's see. I got a question. Okay, oh yeah. Here Ray, Glenn, I'm so glad uh you asked those questions and let me know if there's anything else. My love. When I feel obligated to do things that I really don't want to do, how can I bring this to a good place within myself? I'm having a hard time with this recently. That's a beautiful question. One of my favorites. Okay. Yes. Okay, obligated. So that's a habit. We've been habituated to being obligated to do certain things. It's not a reality at all. So in the moment where you get the sense that you're obligated, that's when to access the reality. First of all, it needs to be accepted that you projected this obligation. I projected this obligation and it's perfect for me right now. See that? So now now you're not afraid. I've I projected this. Now you're not afraid of the obligation. You put it there, and you can go forward without fear, right? And so then you want to access the truth about yourself right now. Felt uh, felt reaction in the body's energy field, felt response to this love coming in, right? You want to feel that access. This is the embrace right now, God's embrace, right? You made the obligation up. It's okay. You accept that. How can I see clearly? And that's where you just watch, notice how you feel, and let your feeling be uplifted. And when it's uplifted, then you get a sense of you're above the obligation, you're above the projected obligation. And then keep on listening to the Holy Spirit about what to do. You do not need to move off of obligation, you can wait for inspiration. This is a matter of just waiting for that voice, waiting for it uh in the sense that it's a feeling sense too. It's just being moved to what it's time to do. Okay, and I've worked with this kind of stuff a lot. This is most of my awakening uh that occurred, like if you could say in the span in a span of time, was sitting and doing things that I seem like I didn't want to do. And I just kept on feeling into the sense of peace while I'm apparently doing something I don't want to do, and get to know that place. Uh, it's like a it's like a seat within your consciousness where you're one with the truth, where you're embraced by God, right? And know that place and stay in that place as you're fielding these plays of energy that are kind of unwinding. It's unwinding that sense of obligation. There's gonna be a lot of thoughts that come up. What would people think if I just quit doing this right now? Um, there's gonna be remorse, resentment, all kinds of stuff coming up while you're doing that thing. Excuse me, apparently doing that thing that you feel obligated to do. So I say, you know, just let obligation come up. And notice the anger to feeling this obligation. It's like, okay, all is one. There's really nothing that I have to do. I'm all abundant right now. I can just accept my inheritance right now. So it's really a matter of accepting that you don't have to do anything, but you made it like you do. That's all. You made it like you do, you made it like this obligation is here. You don't have to accept that in terms of you have to keep it, you accept that you made it and it's perfect for you right now. If you make it into a mistake, that's how you keep it.

SPEAKER_00: 29:49

Yeah. You know, I've been looking at fear, guilt, and shame for a lot of years. It feels now like it's outside of me. When you give the example of, say, obligation. Instead of being mad at myself, which is fear, guilt, and shame, I can love it or play with it and say you didn't do anything wrong. I said business fine. Because otherwise, it just keeps going. If I make myself wrong, it's fear, guilt, and shame.

SPEAKER_02: 30:16

Right. You just taught yourself wrongly. Yeah. Okay, so it's coming up. The learning that you've done, learning about the world, is coming up and showing you an upset feeling. So the upset feeling is basically saying, I I chose wrongly. I took the wrong, I took the wrong choice. I took the choice into delusion. I all I have to do right now is choose correctly. And that's really just willingness to see things the way God wills you to see them. So in accessing the truth within your mind, in accessing that, it gets revealed to you what you can be released from right now. So you can fall into peace. And basically, I just keep on doing that again and again all day, every day. I just keep on going back into the truth. You know, I'm noticing fluctuations. And you know, it's like barely allowing myself to fluctuate very much by looking, noticing the body's energy field, noticing the tone of voice, even. The tone of voice changes. I notice that a lot of people don't notice their tone of voice. They don't notice, oh, my tone of voice just changed. I'm expressing irritation or something like that. And you know, you can come off of it right away when you just notice things like that. And there's tone to thought before it's spoken out and makes a tone of voice. There's tone of thought. So you don't have to listen to any tone that isn't serving you. You don't have to listen to it as if it's you, as if it's saying anything meaningful. Right? It's kind of like a comedy guy, it's always got something, it's always got some problem. Right. Thank you too. I love you. Yeah, obligation and overwhelm, those have been two of my uh most used ones. I've loved them. Uh, it shows you it's a it's like an echo. Once you've decided that you're not going to feed illusory thoughts by making it as if something is affecting how you feel in the field. Like, for instance, obligation is not is not affecting how you feel, it's your thought about that obligation that's affecting how you feel. Okay. The obligation, let's say the obligation is a fact in the dream. You wrote it into the story. It's a fact in the dream. But the obligation does not have any power to affect how you feel. See that you decide. Like for me, I would be like the sense of obligation. Oh, this is you useful, right? Like, let's say, uh, I don't usually get a sense of obligation, so I'll just make up a story, okay, about it. Let's say I was camping with my friends, and um I told them, I will do the dishes. That's kind of something that happened. I wanted to do the dishes because it was warm in there. I could have my hands in hot water. I told them I will do the best dish job you ever saw.

SPEAKER_03: 33:52

I'll be over there where there's a heater.

SPEAKER_02: 33:56

I know I have to make it up. I have to make it up, right? I know I have to make it up. I don't have anything, that's why. So uh so let's say I made myself an obligation, and then they were depending on me to do the dishes, and then I was like, uh, apparently I'm not doing the dishes. I'm being called over here. I'm being called here for something else, right? So it's like when something like that occurs, it's for me to go through the feeling effect. What am I projecting about this? I'm gonna go through a feeling effect because there's gonna be some projecting about uh what are they even, what do they think of me not following through? What if they're pissed at me? Whatever the projection is, it's like being it kind of like in a stance where you're ready for projection to be coming, and you've already forgiven everything. You can you can look at it that I've already forgiven the world. So whatever projection comes up, I'm just gonna stay in the truth. I'm just gonna be with the truth, I'm gonna feel the effects of that. Well, what if they take it like this? What if they see it like this? What if they tell her their friends she's the shittiest camping person ever? Don't bring her on a camping trip. They're hilarious, they're like setting up, you know, and I'm kind of like a cheerleader while they're setting their the up the camp, right? And then and Thomas' friends go, He's you camp much? And I was like, No, I don't. You know, and it's like and it's like to me in my mind, it's going, I don't even fucking like camping, you know, what the fuck am I doing here? You know? It's just that I'm laughing at that. So I'm not getting bitchy with my friends, you know. Uh so so you know, over time I just see, oh wow, they're really cool. They they help me out with everything. Um, they they totally set me up and all that. Um, and not feeling like I'm obligated to do anything in any way like that. Um and playing with everything, you know. Of course, people are gonna make comments when they see me at a campground. Holy shit, man. I'm like I'm like uh kind of like barely making it. I'm like pacing all over the place to keep warm and stuff. But I'm having a great time doing it.

SPEAKER_00: 36:27

She had all her designer clothes on, like these expensive clothing.

SPEAKER_02: 36:31

I had some designer clothes on. Yeah, I'm glad he liked my clothes. He told me how great I looked too while I was I was camping and hiking, you know, that's important to me. That's why it wasn't warm. I had warm stuff going though, really warm.

SPEAKER_03: 36:50

So, can I speak on the obligation?

SPEAKER_02: 36:52

Okay, hold on just a second because Etta Mae has her hand up and I already took her on on the thing here, but yes, I'll get to you. Etta May, what's happening?

SPEAKER_05: 36:59

Okay, hey, I have a total example of obligations since you can't think of much.

SPEAKER_02: 37:05

Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_05: 37:07

Also, share your same feelings about camping, and I love I'm just laughing over here so much. That's so cool. Um I have an amazing husband who does everything too. So, yeah, if it wasn't for him, I don't know. Yeah, like he packs the car and everything, he knows what we need, you know. He does all the food.

SPEAKER_02: 37:31

Yeah, that's the situation I was in too.

SPEAKER_05: 37:34

Yeah, it only works if I'm along for the ride, really. Okay, so here's my obligation. Um I have this beautiful business that I run from my home and I've been doing it for years. And now, like I just like my home is a public place a couple days a week when my business is here, and then the other days it's not. And I'm an artist and I love to be messy. Like, I I I like like to have a clean house, but like I love to like get in my groove and and I'm feeling like resistance to like holding my life together two days a week to like make it presentable for like community to come into. Like, I don't want to clean up my dirty clothes on the floor or whatever the issue is or fill up the water or whatever needs to happen. And I'm just kind of like dragging my feet and I'm just like, is this a time? Like, am I moving away from like having a business at my home one day in the future? Or like, I don't know, like I just want to be more free and I'm just having a lot of obligation around having to pull my life together, like my physical home is do a lot of cleaning. Okay, anyway, and if I don't do it, then it doesn't work. Like, I can't have like like my family, we do all our laundry on the weekend, and it's like all over the place on Monday. I teach on Tuesday, Wednesday. So Monday is like it's I used I used to love Mondays, but Monday it's like my day of obligation. Like I'm working all day cleaning my house and I'm just kind of bummed out. And I'm trying to get to a good place around it. I'm like every day I'm like, every week, I'm like, okay, this is a new opportunity for me to practice how to, you know, all the things I'm trying to learn. Yes. But it's it's slow.

SPEAKER_02: 39:20

Yeah. And and you know, the point is that in the moment where you find yourself doing all that obligatory stuff on Monday, that you're using it, you're using it in your mind space. That's what you want to do. It makes it, it makes everything very purposeful. You're using whatever it is that comes up that tells you, I don't like this, I feel obligated, all those kinds of things. See, because it's only really the ego that cares what the manifestation is. The ego does not trust at all that this thing's totally changeful and totally being manifest off of ideas. See? So your ideas about it have not changed. Your ideas have been these ideas over and over and over and over again. When your ideas about it change, where you're looking at this whole situation as something where you're in relationship with it, and you stay in relationship with union at the same time. So you bring this whole uh whole thing, this whole situation about this obligation in to yourself. You feel it in your body's energy field. This is how things truly change. You accept what you made, which is this obligation, and you watch all of your resistance come up as you seem to be doing it. Watch that resistance. This is the access right here. The resistance is coming up as a sensation in the body's energy field, and you're staying in truth or moving your moving back to truth, coming back to the truth of it. That's that your perception of this thing is a hundred percent projection. It's an it's a feeling that you get in your nervous system over and over again, and you keep on going for that same feeling again. You don't have to do that. You meet it from the place of completeness, which is where you always are.

SPEAKER_05: 41:27

Thank you. I'm gonna I'm working on this every week. I get a lot of I get a week after week, I get a new opportunity.

SPEAKER_02: 41:34

Yeah, be happy about it too, because you know, it might seem to be going slow, but it's really not slow in the scheme of things. I mean, it was pretty recently actually where you just decided to turn your mind, right? You just decided to turn your mind and start looking at things really differently. This is a really different way of looking at them, yeah. Um and and noticing that you have been trained to see things as a threat, like this thing actually has you trapped, right? That's the training, right? So to access the truth within this, you stay in. I'm projecting this, I'm projecting myself trapped. Wow, this is funny.

SPEAKER_05: 42:29

I like this about the grace part. I like this, thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 42:33

Yay, thank you too. Have fun with it.

SPEAKER_05: 42:40

Thank you. Thank you. I'm having fun with it. I disabled it on.

SPEAKER_02: 42:48

What did I do? Okay. It keeps on moving around. So funny. Okay. Disabled talking there. Okay, Edmay. All right, Edmay, say what you were saying. I cut you off. I wanted to hear it.

SPEAKER_05: 43:09

Oh, yeah. I just said I'm having funner with it this week than I did last week. And I I just I love the grace. I love the grace that you're saying. Like I can be graceful and I don't have to have results like immediately. It's gonna take time for the reprogramming.

SPEAKER_02: 43:25

Yeah, and let let that let the Holy Spirit just use time, however, time needs to be used, being super patient with it. That's what I got to uh play with today is patience when I was cut uh uh combing out my hair, right? Uh, so you get to play with patience around this. See that beautiful.

SPEAKER_05: 43:47

Yeah, I like it. I'm I I like pay, I'm a pretty darn patient person.

SPEAKER_02: 43:52

So yeah, I mean person at all like that. It just it just yeah, it's just you enjoy the patience because it shows you to your heart's desire. You really don't want a different experience, the ego only cares about what it's doing. You know, I learned a lot through this by uh having kids and um wanting my kids to do some chores so I didn't have to do all the chores, right? You know my kids too, so that's fine. So I didn't have to do all the chores, uh, right? And then what I realized was, gosh, I don't care what I seem to be doing. Who cares what I seem to be doing? Like, how is that gonna trap me in anything? You know, that's also the ego that it thinks it's gonna be it it's gonna be bad if it's doing the wrong thing. What if I'm doing all the work, then all the work is on my shoulders. What I was just doing is listening for the Holy Spirit's call to do anything before doing anything. And then if if I wanted to clean something, then I'd be cleaning something.

unknown: 44:58

Right?

SPEAKER_02: 44:58

I'd be inspired to clean something. If that wasn't the case, then it would just be dirty, it wouldn't be bothering me.

SPEAKER_05: 45:09

Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_02: 45:13

Yeah, and then what I saw was I didn't get the experience of spending all this time cleaning, it just didn't even work out that way because it just wasn't a thing. It wasn't a thing to get upset about. When we add our emotion to it, like let's say uh, you know, you get this sense that you're obligated and you believe it, that's what's going on, that's what the upset is about. Otherwise, you would not mind doing that stuff. It's just a a sense of being obligated that you're believing in. That's hard, right? So when you're not believing in that anymore, a sense of obligation can come up. And it's like, oh, all right, cool. I know what to do with this. I just feel it. I let it go straight through my body's energy field, and you enjoy it. That's how it is for me. I am I enjoy it. When it seems like I'm late, when it seems like someone expects something of me. I got a lot of practice with that being married. I was always projecting that my husband expected something from me, right? And I just had so much fun playing with it because I'd see him come up and he'd uh be like, Hey, you didn't do that fucking thing. And I was like, No, I didn't. You're right, I didn't. Right? One day he was like, Hey, it doesn't seem like you uh really like being at home that much. I'm like, Yeah, right.

unknown: 46:42

Right.

SPEAKER_03: 46:46

That's why I'm not there anymore.

SPEAKER_02: 46:48

That's why I'm not there that much, right? It's like, oh yeah. It's like, you know, you just start getting out of that stuff, and you know, you might even find like you, you know, you know, you might even find you're not really worried about you know what people are gonna think at all. You might want to just do an experiment, just leave all your shit out, and then tell the people that this is how I'm doing it this week. I'm leaving all my shit out just to see how I feel with you guys hanging out with all my shit everywhere. It's all an experiment. You know, maybe next time I'll try it in a box. I'll next time I'll try put next week. I'll try putting in a box. It's the thing, the thing is, you do not have to put on a show for these fuckers, right? It's like this idea that we all have to put on a show for each other. That's the thing. It's like have an experiment with it. Maybe, maybe go, you know what? I'm just gonna try. Uh, I'm not gonna do people at my house this week. I'm gonna try that and see how it feels. I'm feeling like I like it with no people at my house. I'm gonna try no people at my house, you know. Everyone find a different place to go. I don't know what the situation is. I know you do teaching. She actually taught my son Braun, and maybe Blaze, too. I don't know. But she actually uh taught my son Bla son Braun and they had a great time together. Yeah. Wild little fucker. Wild little unschool guy. So if it's all an experiment and you can just have fun with everything, you know, you can just notice, oh gosh, I'm getting a sense like I don't want to do this. For me, it was my um essential oil business. There is work in the essential oil business that was technical work, and I got the sense that I was obligated, there's no one else who can do it. And I had I just used that over and over again, and it did seem to take some time um to see through it. I don't know how how many years that was. It was probably quite a few years. Um, but as each one of us goes through and we break these cycles, it makes it easier for other people to do it too. Even if they don't know us, just because they're on the verge of going to that. So I started to go, okay, I am projecting this feeling. I don't really have to be here. Um, and at first the feelings and the thoughts were really, really loud. It was like, for one thing, it was like, fuck that husband that doesn't want to support me. So I have to end up doing all this shit, right? And and that's also scarcity consciousness because it's as if there's not enough, right? And it's as if someone has to work for it, someone has to earn it, right? Our abundance is not something that's earned at all. This is something that we learned. So eventually I started to uh see, oh, I I don't have to really do any of this stuff at all. I really don't need to be doing any of this stuff, it doesn't make any sense. So I just let my husband know I'm not gonna be doing it anymore. I'm gonna go. I think maybe I gave like a two-month notice or something. I said, after this two months, you got to learn from me because I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna go on my ministry. I'm not gonna be here, gotta learn how to run it because I'm not gonna be doing it anymore. Um, and that, you know, that just came up after some years of doing, apparently doing what I was obligated to do, but what I didn't really want to do, right? Apparently. So by going through it, though, I kept on demonstrating to my mind that nothing was really happening. I was just in a dream. I was just projecting that something was wrong. All right, here's a friend with a message. I've been in severe physical pain for a long time, specifically in my neck. The last few days have been challenging, no matter how much I pray, surrender into it, hand it over to the Holy Spirit, or see it as not real, I am still in pain. I don't want to resort to pain pills to alleviate the pain, but it gets so bad sometimes I can't bear it. I would rather heal and transform the pain into love and be free from it. All of this is easier said than done. What is the best way to handle physical pain? Well, first you could take whatever kind of medicine you want. I mean, for me, I would just be doing ganja. I would not be doing any kind of pain pills, but every everyone has their own thing. You know, I would be uh I would be getting uh edibles uh when something like that is going on. And you know, that's magic, it's temporary. Um, it's not gonna be healing the cause of the pain. And at the same time, you don't have to be suffering. That's the thing. So, number one is allow yourself to be released from pain, even in an illusory sense, because that'll help you actually look at it. Okay. And then the way to look at it is pain is fear, it's always a manifestation of fear. So there's a fearful thought that you're taking is true. Uh, you do weed and it doesn't help. Did you do edibles though? Because you may be talking about smoking weed, that's very different. Uh, you can try edibles. None of it really does anything. Your mind is actually using it as a permission slip. Okay, and edibles too. Okay. Your mind would actually be using anything as a permission slip. So if you're saying you're doing edibles and you're still in a shitload of pain, it's a major alarm. The the mind is trying to get your attention. It's a major alarm. It's like you really want to see through this fear thought, whatever it is that's making physical pain. Okay. It's the only thing that makes physical pain. It's defensiveness against the truth, okay? So, you know, there's there's some people that look up, they want to go. I think Thomas might be doing this right now, is what I'm saying. Um, he's gonna look up the neck to see what's behind the neck. And you know, you could play around with shit like that too. Um, but really, it's all symbolic. So if there's any pain anywhere, it's a fearful thought. And knowing that that's the case, that it is just a fearful thought, you're not allowing your mind to wander into victimhood, into imaginary causes for it. Okay, we don't want to go into imaginary causes for it. Um, so okay, so Christina's on this already. She says, Per Luise Hay, neck pain is refusing to see other sides of a question, stubbornness, and inflexibility. So, you know, see if that resonates for you. Um, you don't have to uh tie it in like that into something like that. You could just recognize that the pain is only fear, and you want to ultimately you want to see through that fearful, fearful thought so you can let it go, right? So that's always how to approach pain. Uh and you know, like I said, it's not a matter of trying to uh not use any medicine or anything like that, even if you feel like you need to go to pain pills, but the pain pills may not help either. That's the thing. Uh, since it's all coming from your mind, and these are permission slips. You can look at it like that. Yes, my darling.

SPEAKER_00: 54:36

Like what you said, it's always fear. So a book like the Louise Hay book that lets you get more specific about the fear, it's lodging our body in a certain place, and the specific fear in this case might be inflexibility, in which case you have to say, uh, how am I being inflexible? And then if you notice something in there, it's still fear-based. Then you can let fear go.

SPEAKER_02: 55:00

Right. It's recognizing that you're holding on to something that's projecting the pain. You're just holding on to something projecting the pain. And and yes, I read the book. I think it does have to do with emotions, but it still doesn't help the physical pain. I'm trying everything to transform it. Yeah, so it may not help the physical pain at all. That's not the purpose of getting the miracle to help the physical pain. It actually isn't. You want the miracle because it establishes that you're dreaming a dream and its content isn't true. The whole reason that pain is coming up is so that you can establish that in your mind. It's not so that you can get free from the pain, actually. The being free from the pain is just the natural effect of the miracle taking place. See, but it may not show up as being released from pain right away. See, it may not show up as that physical uh release right away. But when you're uh when you're released from the idea that this pain is caused by anything but your own mind, you start to experiencing it more like sensation. That's not uh that's not labeled as pain, it's just sensation, right? I mean, you know, you're talking about uh what a pain in the neck, right? So, you know, people also go through childbirth and don't experience pain, and their whole lower freaking part is opening up, they're not even on any ganja or anything. You know, we're just only just projecting our own pain. There's not really there's there's not really a cause for it except for a fearful thought being taken as true. That's all it is, and you know, if that resonates with you, what what Luis Hay says about it, that works, whatever it is to see any kind of thoughts that are holding you to uh to this pain, basically, it's mental pain.

SPEAKER_03: 57:17

Yes, so even if there's some childhood trauma that we relate to blocking the throat shock or causing neck pain, it's still a fearful thought I have about that. Right.

SPEAKER_02: 57:30

Yeah, so if you go, okay, uh let's say, let's say you find out it's this inflexibility, it's like if you're if you're willing to see that you don't need to hold that, it's not necessary. That's what's important, right? So it's like I don't need to hold this inflexibility that's basically control, right? It's basically trying to control the situation. Oh, I don't need to hold that anymore. Then you're released from that thought. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 58:03

So that'd be the definition of a miracle, the shift of perception. So it's not about the neck pain, no, the perception that might be driving it.

SPEAKER_02: 58:11

Yes, the perception shifts. Yeah. I have a friend who was on pain meds, and she was getting headaches, so she would just depend on taking these pain meds every day, every night when it was like time for time for bed. And I go, hey, that's actually a fearful thought. You don't need to keep on doing the pain meds, you can actually go through it. And you know, she was pissed at me and didn't talk to me for months because it was like I don't understand actual pain. Um, and then after a while, she said, Maybe there's something to this, because eventually the pills stop working. So she said, Maybe there's something to this, and she didn't take pills and sat through the night. And then you start to see, you sit still and you sit quiet and you start to see what's going on in your mind, and then you can see why you're getting any kind of sense of pain.

SPEAKER_00: 59:07

It's even a question for for God, like what's really going on with my neck, Lord? Like, what's can you help me see what this is? Help me see this differently.

SPEAKER_02: 59:15

Yeah, you want whenever whenever you're praying, he's talking about praying now, like asking the Lord, help me see this differently. That's the true prayer to help me see this differently, not take away my neck pain. God damn it, Lord, please take away my neck pain. That is not it.

SPEAKER_03: 59:34

Yeah, it's such a big thing, right?

SPEAKER_02: 59:37

Yeah, well, fear, fear is such a big thing. That's true. You know, people are walking around scared as shit. Yeah, that's that's really the cause. Even in childbirth, even yeah, people even in childbirth, people are trying to contract their uterus and not let the baby out, right? Yay. I love thank you. Thank you. We have the same uh yay. Safe, not Sam. I love how you work through these thoughts. Yay. Okay. All right. Uh Faraday Morgan. What a fun name. I think I'm saying that correctly. You can is that yeah, thank you. Can you hear me? I can hear you.

SPEAKER_07: 1:00:23

Okay, cool. I'm actually, yeah, I'm good friends with Ed. I'm really grateful to be here. So I was the one that just asked the question. I don't know why I just didn't ask it verbally to you. Um, but thank you for answering that. So the thing is, yeah, it's really hard when I am in this physical pain to do the things like I can I can try to pray, I can do all the things that I was saying, but it the pain is so intense, right? And I guess I didn't want to get too hung up on a lot of like, yeah, I read all these books on self-help and emotions and stuff, but it's almost like you don't want to get too hung up on that because you're right, no matter what the reason is, that is an illusion. Like, I don't want to get it too attached to all of it. Um, I want to more, you know, yeah, ask the Holy Spirit, like, what is this pain showing me? And I, and what's frustrating is like I do all of that, like all of the things you're saying, and everyone's saying I do all of it. But when you're in physical pain, it's like last night I thought I was gonna pass out, and I actually didn't um take any pain pills. I was like, I'm gonna sit with this, I'm gonna pray, I'm gonna go into it, you know. And um, but it's just also easier said than done. It's really challenging when you're in that much pain, you know.

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:40

Okay. So what are you afraid of?

SPEAKER_07: 1:01:45

Um, the I mean, the pain doesn't feel good. I I guess there's a part of me that feels like if I had to keep living in this pain, I would probably want to commit suicide. Right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:57

Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, yeah. So so there, so, so there it is. It gives you an opportunity right there. If I have to keep on living like this, I'm probably gonna want to commit suicide. Right? So notice that thought. That thought is cause. Pain is effect. See? Because you're automatically believing that thought, you're not checking it.

SPEAKER_05: 1:02:26

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:02:27

Pain is the effect of that thought. If I have to keep on being in pain like this, this and this and this and this and this. See, the thoughts are just being presented to you all the time. So that's the thought. That is a meaningless thought. There's only right now, you're only making pain right now. Everything is completely changeful.

SPEAKER_07: 1:02:48

So, what would I do with that thought? How would I turn that into love?

SPEAKER_02: 1:02:52

Okay, you just look at the thought as being completely meaningless and comical, which is what it is. Look at it with reason.

unknown: 1:03:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:01

See what it's doing? It's all everything is an everything is an idea. It's caused by an idea. Your pain that you're experiencing is caused by an idea. There's one such idea right there. See how easily they just come up when you look at it. See what I mean? How how it looks like look at if you don't catch it, it's just something that just gets gets bypassed, right? If you don't catch it, if you don't recognize, okay, that's there's cause right there. Everything is ideas.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:33

See that? It's coming up, showing you all day long. It's showing you fearful thoughts all day long. I guarantee you that's what's going on. It's just a matter of these fearful thoughts are not watched, they're not being watched. So it's like there's this asking, asking, asking for God to show you, but you're not watching the thoughts that are just arising right now. That's it right there. Take that thought that says, man, if I keep on having this pain, no, no, no, there's no keep on anything. There's only right now that I'm projecting. See? So then that thought doesn't get any power. What's happened, what's been happening is that thought gains power and you don't recognize what's going on, and it's actually affecting your body's energy field, and it's actually causing pain to be projected.

SPEAKER_07: 1:04:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:21

See it?

SPEAKER_07: 1:04:22

Yes. And and on a physical level, when I am in that severe pain like yesterday, I mean, is it should I go? Because I'm a doula, right? So I do help pregnant women give birth. And so a lot of times we go deeper into that pain. And when we go deeper into it, a lot of times they feel like it transforms it. So is that is that also advised that I go deeper into it, or should I try to just pretend like the pain isn't even there and it's not controlling me?

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:51

That's no, no, you want to you you want to get the feeling, uh, so you could feel the subtle sensations of it.

SPEAKER_07: 1:04:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:59

That's you want to feel the yeah, you want to get to the the more subtle sensations. The sensations that you're getting are really sharp because there's resistance to them.

SPEAKER_07: 1:05:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:10

So you want to surrender into the feeling. If you're a doula, that's good because you're used to training people for giving child childbirth. Think of it in the same way, right? I've done hypno babies before where you hypnotize yourself. You know, you can think of it in that way too. Just to be with the sensations, they cannot hurt you.

SPEAKER_07: 1:05:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:33

Yeah, and that's at the same, you know, if you if you seem to need anything to reduce the pain, that's there's no problem with that as well.

SPEAKER_07: 1:05:42

Yeah, those gummies sometimes give me um, it makes me more in the pain. That's why it's a slippery slope.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:49

Sometimes they work, and sometimes it it creates I know, more anxiety and makes it a little bit more bigger. So yeah, a little like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:06:02

That's the thing. It's all a permission slip, so you don't know what the outcome is even gonna be from using any of those pain things.

SPEAKER_07: 1:06:11

Yeah, and I don't use those a lot. I do try to limit that, but um, but yeah, it's just sometimes it's it's really bad.

SPEAKER_02: 1:06:19

Yeah, yeah, you really want to watch your mind, is what you want to do. Okay, watch your mind and deny any reality to these causes, recognize that's a cause. There's fear, there's a cause. That's definitely a cause. You know, so when you recognize that and you know the miracle, again, it establishes that you're dreaming a dream and none of its contents is true. See that? So it's like in light of that thought, in the face of that thought, you're dreaming a dream and none of its content content is true. That takes all the meaning that you gave and the power off of that thought to make pain.

SPEAKER_07: 1:07:00

Okay, yeah, awesome. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:07:04

I appreciate you. Have fun with it. Awesome. Okay, aloha, have fun with your pain. Uh I used to do Korean yoga, and a big part of it was uh pretty much punching ourselves in the stomach, you know, a bunch of times. And we would chant, I love my pain, I love my pain, I love my pain, right? Because uh, you know, in this form of yoga, what they're showing is that's your you're projecting that pain. That's your pain. This isn't really supposed to hurt. Uh, the reason why things seem to feel delicate in the abdominal area is from uh guarding and kind of like trying to protect those organs from being exposed. And it's really the body is so symbolic, it's just the mind made into form. So there's all this darting and holding and trying to protect against the pain. So in this Korean yoga where we just punch ourselves in the they call the Don Tien, it's the area between the belly button and the perineum. And we just hit it as hard as we can and say, I love my pain, I love my pain, I love my pain. And it's basically demonstrating to our mind that we're the ones projecting all of the pain, right? And yes, I noticed that um in my experience, there is way, way, way less pain, like not even any kind of like muscular pain from seemingly working out or anything like that. What I find is when I get down on the wooden block, I get to do some block therapy, that's where I could find it, seemingly lodged in the body, right? Knowing that it's all being projected right now. And I just keep on getting more of a nervous system relaxation. And this is so important to be relaxed. That's why I love to do things that uh that contribute to relaxation. Also, I love to be relaxed, like kind of like on low gear, right? It's like on a low gear where I still can be like excited and happy and um and exuberant, you can say, but underneath that, there's a lower gear. It's like I'm just shifting into uh almost like floating down a river. So I almost like I'm preserving my energy, right? So I'm not spending all my energy on these mind tricks that are making things, oh no, oh no, it's this and this, and what about this? And you know, just kind of like shift into a calm uh uh kind of like low gear where you're really watchful about your thoughts. One of these little thoughts can actually lead to a bad mood. You you know, it's like when you when a thought comes up that says, Man, if I if this, then that. If I have to, if I have to do this tomorrow, then this. This is a stressful thought. Any thought that's that's talking like that, if this, then this, if this, then this, you know, uh living right now is just being clear that all of these thoughts are just part of a play. They don't really mean anything. There's nothing there. This is your uh this is your total abundance recognizing that whatever is arising is for undoing lack, ideas of lack. It's like I it's like as if this thing happened, if this happens and this happens, if I don't get this money, then I'm gonna do this over here. It's like you just smile at a thought like that because you don't have to do anything about that. When the moment comes where you're moving money, it's just allowed to be coming on inspiration. Right? If you look at the thoughts that circulate the mind over and over again, there'll be thoughts like this. If this happens, then this. If I get uh, for instance, if if the knots don't come out of my hair, I'm gonna have the pixie haircut, right? When you look at those thoughts as not being meaningful at all, then they don't drag you into some bad mood or hoping for some outcome in the world. You know, I haven't hoped for an outcome in the world and I don't know how long, maybe many years. I have not been uh like sincerely hoping that something goes a certain way in the world because it just doesn't make any sense to me. It's actually doubt in disguise, it's self-doubt. Is that it's as if something can go away that's not a hundred percent beneficial. It's funny because people tell me I'm really happy, you know. A lot of the times, you know, people will go, Well, you're like the happiest person I've ever even met, you know? And like I'm not like that's not my shtick. I'm not trying to be happy, you know what I mean, like that. It's just that I don't believe the thoughts that most people believe that drag them down. I don't believe there really is an if this happens, then this. I don't really believe that there's anything that can stress me out. I don't believe that there's any kind of circumstance uh that can make me have a bad time, for instance. Because that's my choice. I choose whether I'm gonna have a good or bad time. You know, people would go, oh yeah, I went to this party and it was a really uh a shitty party. It's like you were having a shitty time at the party. You decided you were gonna have a shitty time at that party. You didn't realize when you made that decision, and then you covered it up and started blaming it on the music or something like that. For me, the music is never bad. I've had some really good dances to uh a guy doing beatbox, really, you might say, badly. Even when it's bad, it's not bad. It's like, hey, this food is shit. What a great time! You know, you know, you could actually you could actually give an honest review and have it be having a good time at the same time. Okay, Christine said I saw a picture of you with a pixie haircut on Saturday. You were at Tinchak. I'm so glad the angles came out. Oh, the tangles, you mean. Uh yeah. Oh, yeah. I have had a cute pixie haircut before. You can find those on Facebook. And I'm sure I would look awesome in that too. We'll see what happens. Yeah, when it just doesn't matter to you, you know, it's even like you can go, okay, the cops coming. The cops come into your window, and you get that sense, you know, you just get kind of like get a rush of information, right? There's a lot of thoughts playing out, like, what if they do this? What are they even busting me for? You know, I wonder if he's gonna beat me with his billy club. I don't know what you guys are thinking. But when you're just when you're just willing to feel the sense of togetherness, union, that sense of union. When you're willing to feel the sense of union, it's like the officer walks up to your car and they can feel the sense of union. That's what's going on. That's why, and and you know, that's why I get uh reflections from people that uh like you know, stuff like I'm the happiest person, or you know, like my neighbor told me last night when I came home. She's like, I really missed you while you were gone. It just feels really good to me. You know, I go out there and smoke spliffs, so I went met the neighbor from doing that. And, you know, it it turns out she's like super conscious. She's she hears directly from God, and I just love to have conversations with her. And, you know, the sense like you know, that sense like I'm either happy or I'm super uplifting and all that kind of stuff, that's just an effect of me being really easeful with myself, but also super alert, right? I'm aware, I'm watching the mind. I'm actually watching the thoughts. That's why I can repeat them to you. I'm like, oh yeah, and this showed up. This weird thought showed up, right? And I didn't believe that it was true. Uh but that's the point. We actually have to see it to recognize that it's an untrue thought. That's how it gets purified, and not just for ourselves, but for the whole sonship.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:55

You know, these thoughts that are really maybe hard, like the one about suicide, if we recognize that that can't affect who I really am, even in that even in that transition of that arrogant thought, a perspective shift. Oh, that can affect who I truly am. Now I am who I truly am. It shifts everything.

SPEAKER_02: 1:17:17

Yeah, because you mean the thought about suicide.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:19

Well, any that's a hard one, but even that, or even suicide itself can't affect who I truly. So then I can give myself not just a break, but I can also um have a shift of perception just in that.

SPEAKER_02: 1:17:33

Yeah. So even if you so you know, even if you notice, well, even if I did commit suicide, that wouldn't mean anything, anyways. Is that what you're saying? If even if I did that, that wouldn't mean anything, anyways.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:44

Not in the eternal picture, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:17:46

Right, not in the eternal picture. So it's not good or bad, right? Right? It's just you're recognizing this is an ego thought. Obviously, it's going to suicide. That's really easy to see. That's an ego thought. And and the thing is not to be afraid of ego thoughts. And I think that's what Thomas is expressing right here. He's like, man, even if it did go to suicide, it wouldn't be a big deal. It's not a big deal. That's you know, what he's he's showing here is I'm not afraid of ego thoughts. You know, so what if it did manifest like that too? And that thought is meaningless. I'm not gonna let it make me uh pained anymore. Now, I had a perception when I was um still staying in Hawaii, where I went several months where I was only sleeping a couple hours a night. Apparently that has shifted. Um, but there was one point where I was like, holy shit, I'm getting a lot of suicide thoughts. And this is when I was well on my path and seeing things really well, really clearly. And um I'm just like, whoa, I'm just getting suicide thoughts now. Okay, well, those don't really mean anything, and just keep on taking them to the truth while I'm continuing. At the time, I was sleeping like two hours a night. When I was in Mexico, I was sleeping more like four hours a night. Still, there would be thoughts about this being bad. It's not good for aging and everything else, you know, like all these thoughts about and and so be just allowing myself to be released from those. At this point, I seem to be sleeping really well, even out there in the campground. I'm just like snoozing it up hard, you know. Things go through cycles like that. But it takes looking at when it's saying saying, and I didn't do anything to make myself sleep either, you guys. I am not not nothing. There's nothing I can point to at all. Okay. Um, it just sometimes it seems to be sleeping, sometimes it seems to seem to not be sleeping. When thoughts arise that say this not sleeping is bad, that's where I would take it to the truth. And you know, even other people would reflect to you. It's like, wow, well, if you really want to, you know, stay young looking and stuff like that, it's really important that you get eight hours of sleep. And here I am sleeping two hours, right? And I'm going, okay, I'm just not gonna believe in that thought. That's not a thought I'm gonna put my energy and attention behind. And um, yeah, uh, you know, what I'm seeing from like doing beauty treatments like laser, I just got a micro micro needling machine today. Man, I got that thing in the mail. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna have some fun with this. It it actually injects uh these things like hyaluronic acid and different stuff right into the skin through the needles, right? That you're micro needling with. So I've been I've been playing with all this stuff, knowing that it is a permission slip. So when I get benefits where it seems like I got benefits, and I've I've experienced apparently a lot of benefits since I started playing with this kind of stuff. When I perceive benefits, those benefits that I'm perceiving are actually an effect of my willingness to see abundance rather than lack. That's really what it is. It's not that anything has power to affect anything positive or negatively. Um, but watching my mind, because when my mind gets tricked into believing that one of these things have an effect, immediately what happens is it goes to, okay, well, smoking spliffs is pretty fucking aging. So it's like whenever we give uh whenever we give power to any illusion in the field to be either good or bad for us, it increases our believing in things having an effect on us at all. And believing that things have an effect on us at all is basically murder. It's basically murder, it's aging and it's deteriorating the body. So the only thing that can deteriorate the body, it can't really be deteriorated because it's a projection, but the only way it can reflect as if it is deteriorating is resistance. That's the only thing. And what happens is we resist the thoughts. Rather than letting the thoughts pass through us, we resist the thoughts. This is not withstanding anything that you can seem to do in the field of illusion as far as any kind of exercise, eating program, anything like that. The body is 100% a manifestation of thinking, it's a manifestation of ideas. So the key is truly to stop resisting, and then the body can reflect regeneration. I say reflect regeneration because it can't really regenerate, because it can't really degenerate, because it's not really here, it's actually a projection. So, Etame, my love. Okay, let me see. Let me see if I have anything over here in the QA. Oh, yeah, here we go. Do you believe, Etame, I'll be with you in a second. Uh, do you believe that if we commit suicide, we reincarnate and have to repeat it all over again? I got the sense that we are repeating the same lifetime millions of times, millions of times, the same boring ass lifetime until it becomes purposeful, and then it's not boring at all. It's super fun, but it's the same boring ass, uh meaningless lifetime that is just repeated, repeated, repeated. That's why we get deja vues and stuff like that. It's like, oh, wait a second, there was something I was supposed to see here. I remember this point. There is something to look at here. Um, so do we reincarnate? I see you, yeah. I do we reincarnate? Well, we don't really have any incarnation. So uh to say reincarnate, we're not in these bodies. Okay, we don't become carnal, let's say. Um, so that's why I wouldn't want to commit suicide because I wouldn't want to go through the same lessons and challenging. Okay, so look at this about suicide too. You have no choice whether you would commit suicide. You only have choice whether you would make a suicidal thought true. See? So you don't have to come up with a reason not to uh not to commit suicide, uh, just being you know at ease with, okay, I'm watching where my opportunities are. I'm watching where my opportunities are to bring allusions to the truth, kind of like what can I forgive around here? Right? And and you know, you get to a point where you're also done with forgiving things around here, and you're just actively denying reality to the same old things that have been circulating the mind and continue to circulate the mind. That's where you're really bringing creation in. The creation is coming through the channel of your mind, uh, witnessing an illusions. Okay, one second, Lynn. I'm almost to you. Etame, can you speak more in depth about what it means to bring something to the truth? Oh, thank you too, Etame. Oh, you're such a love. So, what it means to bring something to the truth. So let's say this thought that says, I don't want to commit suicide because I don't want to go over this again, you know, it bringing it to the truth is just that this thought doesn't mean anything. This thought actually doesn't mean anything. It's speaking like an illusion, right? Uh, you you know, you bring it to a true thought. This is what you do for a while. It's kind of like how you sort out what's true and what's not. So this one, I don't want to commit suicide because I don't want to have to have to come back over here again. Okay, you just bring it all to the truth. And in this case, uh you could say a true thought is really simple. I don't know what anything means. I don't even know what anything means. It's like I'm just here to be love. Oh, there's a thought that says if this happens, if I commit suicide, this bad thing will happen. Smile at it, it's just part of a show. See, it's like the truth of the matter is you're the perfect holy son of God. None of these thoughts touch you. So you just bring that to the truth. See, it's like a thought that says this is uh this is bad, something bad could happen. Uh, I don't even want to be doing this, whatever. A thought occurred to me, I don't even want to fucking be camping. You think I made that thought true? No, I didn't make it true. That's all. I just go, uh of course I want to be camping. I find myself camping. There's like uh or or I think I've had my fill of camping for at least five years. Did you hear that come out though? No, it didn't come out because I could see it, it doesn't really mean anything. All right, the truth about the thought is it has no roots in reality. That's the truth about the thought.

SPEAKER_03: 1:27:26

Is the thought just coming from you're uncomfortable because you're cold? So you have to voice something.

SPEAKER_02: 1:27:31

No, the the cold is actually also an effect of an idea. Yeah, the cold is an effect of idea, so it's all ideas, right? It's not even cold, exactly. Yeah, it's just something, yeah, and it's not even, you know, it's not even personal, right? So it so and noticing that it's not personal, personal, I had a great time camp camping. I had a great those thoughts didn't get into my camping experience, right? Like I just had a fucking amazing time, and apparently people think I'm really happy, and that's what that's when I'm at uh fucking 28 degrees, you know. It's like cold. The ego's telling me I'm uncomfortable, right? But it's like it was just like so easy to get comfortable, too. Right. I just like gosh, I had such a warm sleeping bag, I had toasty feet and everything like that, and I just getting a sense that something's wrong and not following that thought, right? Just not following that thought, that way you can keep on having fun. And it was, it was fun. There were moments where it was fucking cold. There were definitely moments like that, but you know, I just asked Thomas and can you heat up some water or something? Drink some hot water, and then he would. He would heat me up water, he'd give me some rum to put in there. He'd light my spliff when my thumb was too cold to flick the lighter.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:24

You know, another example maybe of the good question was how how do we bring illusion to truth? Well, you like to say it never happened.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:32

Because on the on the internal level, it it just it's not internal. It didn't happen.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:38

That's another way of bringing it to truth.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:39

Yeah, it only happened as a symbol. Yeah, so the cold outside is only happening as a symbol. And it's not uh it's not none of it's a real happening. So that's why there's nothing to apologize, there's nothing to try to correct from the past, there's nothing to try to get anyone. To act differently. Um, the next time, you know, that's one saying that people use with each other, too. And I've noticed this for a long time. Next time, maybe you'll do it like this. It's like forget those next time thoughts, bring them to the truth. There's no next time, it's right now. All you want is to feel better. And you know, you can use a Course in Miracles. There's 365 lessons with a thought, and you can bring one thought that's a ego thought to the truth to be neutralized in the truth. Okay. One of them is I'm sustained by the love of God. Right? And whatever those thoughts mean to you, that's what really helps because it's more of a feeling sensation. You sense this truth and you bring these illusory thoughts to the truth, which is within you. The illusory thought is projected, the truth is really within you. So you always have the access to the truth, you always have the access to divine union, and so you stay in divine union and let everything else arise. Let these thoughts arise, and they arise within uh your perception, but in divine union, from divine union, and then you're actually taking perception and you're able to create this. Is what's really creative within a dream. It's being able to see past what's blocking creation. Creation is just automatic. That's what you do, that's the loving and being loved. It's not trying to convince someone that you're having a bad time. Did I ever go to you, Lynn?

SPEAKER_03: 1:31:50

Liz. Liz? Well, my question was for answering. How many times do we reincarnate and we don't? Yeah. And I believe you said we keep coming back, doing it millions of years, and millions of lives. Millions of lives purposeful. Right. What you consider purposeful.

SPEAKER_02: 1:32:11

Yeah, purposeful is where you're actually just using every single perception to undo dreaming. So you don't have to be dreaming anymore. The reason why the same life is being lived over and over and over again, or repeated, you could say repeated, because it's like it's kind of like it's not being lived, it's being witnessed. It's like there, it's like watching a show. It's because there's unfinished business in it. There are many miserable thoughts that are being made into form that you forgot to laugh about. So you want to come back until you can get that. You want to keep on coming back and seeing it so you can see it truly. And you can say, God lived all these lives already, they're already done. And the path and the path is is the same. You just keep on going inward so you can see this life in a different way until it doesn't need to be repeated anymore. So it is, it's just your memory gets erased, and you go on repeat again, but you remember you see little clues in it and stuff.

SPEAKER_03: 1:33:16

And I believe, of course, the miracle says our only true purpose is forgiveness.

SPEAKER_02: 1:33:21

Yeah. Yep. So if we're doing that, we're we're good. Right.

SPEAKER_03: 1:33:24

We have purpose. Yes. Coming back.

SPEAKER_02: 1:33:27

That's right. You're having purpose, yes, and you don't have to keep on coming back again and again. So it's like, you know, the way Jesus would would put it in the Bible days, too, was it's urgent. Of course, you have as much time as you need because you have as much time as you need before you're willing to see this. Uh, at the same time, is it's urgent. It's like everyone's getting exhausted from doing this over and over again. People are getting like, ah, really? Another fucking day, you know, people are getting like that, and just like exhausted, like it's not fun anymore, even from an ego's perspective. So let's say even the ego is getting exhausted of repeating this over and over again. And so it's like the whole world is waiting on you to accept what's true and access the truth consistently. Okay. So being inconsistent, let's say being inconsistent, that's where it's like sometimes you see that you have access to the truth, and other times it looks like you don't have access to the truth. That's never true that you don't have access. You just made it look like that. You want me to tell you how you made it look like that? I will, I'll tell you. You made it look like that by telling yourself that when you perceive yourself getting angry, frustrated, greedy, anything like that, it's as if you don't have access. That is not true. That emotion, that feeling is not blocking your access. Your idea about yourself in relation to it is. That's what's blocking your access. Because you get the sense that you are irritated, let's say. Let's say you're not watching your mind and you get the sense that you're irritated. When your mind perceives that you're irritated, it's automatically calculating that you must not have access to the truth. That's not true. You have access to the truth, you're choosing irritation. So I have one friend uh that continuously tells me uh that he just doesn't see himself clearly all the time. He said, I just, and and he said, I'm comfortable with not seeing myself clearly all the time. I'm not consistent about seeing myself clearly. So some of you may be telling yourself the same thing, huh? So that's a story. That's a story because there's only now. So in that story, it's telling you that I've been inconsistent before and I'm gonna be inconsistent again. Inconsistent with seeing myself truly. That's actually a choice that you're making right now. You see yourself truly automatically when you're not believing a thought that's obscuring it. The feeling does not make you so that you don't have access. The thought that you're choosing about how you are in relation to that feeling is what's blocking you. Because it's telling you that thought is telling you you must not have access since you feel frustrated right now. And no, the truth is you are always where you always are, as you've been created in perfect holiness, in the arms of grace and love and perfection. You're never moved from that. The ego will tell you a story about, oh, look it now. You feel angry, you've fallen from grace. Do not believe that story, that sense of anger or pain for our friend who's talking about how there's pain. Uh, that does not mean that you've fallen from grace. It's your thought about it that says what this means. You don't have to give it that meaning at all. You stay in the arms of grace 100% of the time. You're never gone from that. This is just your choice to make it as if you've fallen from grace by making it as if because you have pain, because you have an upset feeling, because there's anger, anything like that, it means you've fallen from grace. That is not true. You're just believing a thought that's the cause of that feeling. And you know, this recognizing that you always stay where you've always been allows you to see right through that. Don't make it into a problem. You get a sense that there's anger, good. Use that. Okay. One thing Thomas and I were reading uh about, I think it was today or yesterday, is that we get a sense of anger because we've been taught wrongly, we've been misguided. That's the reason we're angry, we've been misguided. See? So so when you you recognize this is why I'm angry, I've been misguided. Oh, great. What's the way back to the truth? And then just open up to that. Just open up to what's true. You don't have to settle for any of that. That's why I've been able to just chill in this state of mind now for years. Things can come up that seem like they're hectic. You know, Christine's on here right now. It reminds me of she's giving me an Akashic record and she's like, or an Akashic reading, and she's like, uh, so what question you have? The question that comes up in my mind, why the fuck do I seem to be in love with this immature little dickhead? You know, and I don't mind. I'm having a good ass time. This is the story that seems to be arising, right? It's like, and and so, and I'm watching these words coming out of my mouth as they're coming out of my mouth. I don't even know this is gonna, this is what's gonna come up. And then Christine ends up giving me this whole reading uh based on that, and it ends up with all these different openings and seeings and stuff like that. Um, it's in no way attached to any kind of outcome or anything like that, even getting a better feeling because even all the feelings are just so playful, they're for the play, they're for seeing more, they're for being in greater uh degrees and depths of bliss, you could say. It's like there's just automatic acknowledging of that's not a true thought. There's no need to bring it to the truth because it's not triggering an upset feeling where I feel lost. When something's triggering an upset feeling where there's this feeling of being lost, like removed from truth, like not recognizing the truth of who I am, I need to look at the thoughts and actually bring them to the truth. It's like going back to this step, like bringing thoughts to the truth. Um, but what it leads to, and what you'll see, and what I've been seeing for quite a long time, it seems, is that no matter what arises, God didn't create it so it doesn't exist. So it doesn't affect me, even if it seems to affect me, right? So that gives me this overview where I could use everything to my benefit. And I could see, like uh, you know, uh with a with a friend that I was talking about with Christine, the different energy plays that we were playing out together showed me so much, even about different energy plays that just occur in relationships, you know. It's like, oh, well, uh interesting. Okay, this person is telling me uh that I'm not basically not enough. Basically, the things that are being being said. Person is basically telling me uh I'm not enough. Okay, what is it about me that seems to need a lover that would tell me I'm not enough? What why is that interesting to me? And you know, it was like really obvious to me, the sex. I was like, I'll put up with that for sex. So so in that case, you know, that being the thought that's arising, it just becomes very playful. It's like, okay, uh, you know, it's showing me, and then and then at one point it's like, you know what? No, at one point it's like, it's like, no, you know what? No, actually, I'm not really interested interested anymore. That was fun. I'm glad I got to have that experience, and now I'm not really interested in that anymore. You know, it's just the play that's playing out, and it shows you uh different ways, like ways that you you may have uh perceived yourself being treated, and then you go and you start relating again, and then you notice that tendency within yourself to relate like that, and it makes you so much more compassionate. All these, all these relatings, that's what they're for. It's not really to get the person, it's not really to get that person. There's a um sense that you want to get something from the person, you want a some kind of completion. When you realize that no people can ever complete you, this means parents, this means kids, this means lovers of friends, um, bosses, whatever. Then you can just extend love to everyone without them needing to do anything for you and getting into these weird um kind of dynamics. So I found myself getting into a weird dynamic where it was just like so obvious. Um, I get a letter from a friend, and it's uh it's a letter on WhatsApp, and it's so obvious there's all these manipulation strategies being used in the letter that I'm reading, and I'm reading this letter, and I'm going, oh my goodness. And recognizing I'm always perception is projecting, okay? Recognizing that I'm the one who wrote the letter, actually. I'm the one who actually wrote the letter. So uh so I'm reading it and I'm kind of I'm cracking up and I'm like, yeah, you know what? I'm just gonna take a break on this interacting right now. Um, and and you know, I I let my friend know, I'm like, hey, here's what I here's what I noticed in that letter, all these manipulation strategies. I'm like, I don't think it's bad at all or wrong or anything like that. I'm just being shown that this is not for me right now. And you know, it's funny, it leaves the door open for the person to be like, oh shit, I don't want to be like that either. Thank you for pointing that out. But the experience was, oh shit, I'm just like, I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm just gonna step back and not relate, right? So it's just it's just a matter of uh of recognizing that we use these strategies when we feel fearful, right? And so when I when I perceive someone else using strategies that I'm close with and I'm noticing uh and noticing a reaction to those strategies, it's just like, hey, let's just take a break for a little bit. No one's wrong. You know, that's the main thing. It's not like how dare you use these strategies. A scared person is going to be using strategies, that's what they do, right? So uh when I saw it, I'm like, oh that's so awesome. I just don't want to relate through strategies. That's not for me to do. I'm not interested in relating through strategies, and you know, I've shared something like that with people before, and they've got like, shoot, I don't want to relate with you through strategies. Thanks for pointing that out. Right? We don't have to do it like that. We don't have to uh believe in this idea that we can control someone else's perception, right? That's the idea. It's like trying to trying to control how someone else sees you. Let them have their perception, whatever it is, and enjoy their perception. Let it show you how you can be even deeper in love and even in love with them. That's what I noticed too. You don't have to be interacting with someone all the time to be extending love to them. Sometimes the interacting gets to the point where it's difficult to extend love, it's difficult to extend love because there's this sense of uh hurt or disconnection or something like that, and then there's these strategies being played, and as long as the strategy the strategies are being played, there's no meeting, there's no true meeting, but we can always meet in silence, and the main thing is about not letting anyone uh be left behind, let's say, don't leave anyone in hell, okay? Means that it doesn't mean that you're necessarily hanging out with them, but you're always being willing to see them in light of what's true, and what that really means is that you're not making yourself a victim of them, you're extending gratitude to them. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for showing me. And that doesn't mean, you know, you guys see, I don't sugarcoat the situation, it's just like, hey, this is the play that's playing out. Doesn't mean anyone's wrong. This is just the play that's playing out. You're using a shitload of manipulative strategies right now, and that's not interesting to me. Let me know when you want to go on without manipulative strategies. And then for some people, it's like, you know what? No, that's just what I do. I use manipulative strategies, that's how I relate with people. So it's better if I just step back and not relate with you since you see me using my manipulative strategies, and that's not very comfortable for me. That's really what the conversation was. It's like, that's not really comfortable for me to have you see me like that, making all these uh attempts to manipulate you and manipulate your perception of me. See, and the funny thing about my perception of people, I always see them as a son of God. That's the thing. It's like whatever it is, whatever kind of behavior is going on or anything like that, I take responsibility for that. People are the son of God to me, they show me everything I need to see, and it's all perfect. And uh and when I'm I'm guided away, let's say away from them, not to talk to them, not to hang out with them, anything like that. It doesn't even really look like that. It's just like my energy is being called in different directions, right? It's like uh, that doesn't feel like the calling to me to hang out with you. Doesn't feel I don't feel called to that. I feel called over here to do something like this, right? And for me, I'm always called enjoy. It is such trip. It's like the nicest, sweetest uh arrangements are made for me. It's all it's always uh it's always the sweetness that calls to me and not this sacrifice. I don't feel self-sacrifice too. Like as if I need to um hang out somewhere that I might not want to hang out at any time because someone needs me. I need to put myself through something because someone needs me, for instance. See that's that's obligation again. And you know, as a spiritual teacher, too, uh, a lot of the times uh what I notice is through, you know, this kind of apparent identity uh that I've had for many years, is people will use that to tell you that you should be interacting with them because they need you. This is a really big one for spiritual teachers. No one needs you. That's the thing. No one needs you. The Holy Spirit has got it, and that was one strategy this one friend would use too. It's like there's it's I've started to see the cycle play out. It's like, oh, but you're the only person who can understand me. You're the only person who is who has enough sense for me to even relate with. I need you to help me. And so then uh it's it's like, okay, this obligation thing takes takes over, and I find myself going, okay, uh, I'm gonna I'm gonna help this person. And then the person's like, okay, uh, thank you for helping me. And now I want to have this kind of relationship with you, and I'm like this now, and I want to be like this with you. And then it's like, uh, and then it turns into uh now I'm rejecting you, I'm pushing you away, I'm I'm telling you you're not good enough, I'm telling you you're not pretty enough, you're not young enough, you're not this enough, you're not that enough. And then it's like, okay, in that case, then there's no real reason for us to hang out, and then the cycle goes back again. And it's like, but but you're the only one I can relate with. And it's like, hmm, this is an interesting. Okay, I'm off of this train. You know, it's like you just watch the show a little bit and you go, oh, oh, I see what's going on here. Okay, I'm off of this train. Right? And you can still extend all the love, even though you're aware of what play is going on, because it's only a play in illusion. And you know, it's it's it's like this. Once you're ready to see that you don't have a need for that particular play, then you're not playing it anymore. Not with the next person either. See, the thing about making the person wrong, oh, they treated me like this, blah, blah, blah, is you just manifest the same thing over and over again. But when you're like, oh, oh, I see the game. Okay, no, I don't want to play that game. I don't need that game. Right? It's not necessary to for me to have a person in capacity of friend or lover that's telling me I'm not good enough. It's not really necessary for me. And it goes back and forth, too, back and forth, back and forth, like this little game. Uh, so at one point I was just like, no, I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not playing that game anymore. And um, and also it's not shutting the door, like what I told my friend. I'm not shutting the door on you, I'm just listening for coherence. When things feel coherent, and that's what's calling to me, and that and see, here's the thing: we have every right, okay, to decline interacting with anything that doesn't reflect the love that we are. We have a right to decline, don't give in to this guilty ego self-conscious that says someone needs you, so you can't decline. You have every right to decline what doesn't feel joyful for you, and there's plenty of people who are committed to suffering, they're committed to suffering, and there's nothing you can do to convince them to stop being committed to suffering. This is not a reflection on you in any way. Let them continue being committed to suffering and let them have interactions with other people who are also resonant with that. See, the only reason you find yourself interacting with them in the first place, you're resonating to it because there's something for you to see here, right? When I saw, oh my gosh, I don't need a friend that's telling me this kind of stuff, and I don't need a friend who keeps on going back and forth like that. It's not necessary. That's not necessary to me. So it's like, oh, do you want to uh do you want to talk to me? No, I don't want to talk to you. I love you, and here's what I see do, do, do, do, do, do these things, and here's what I see. I'm listening for resonance, I'm listening for where the resonance is, right? If things show me a shift, then I'm open to it. But there's no need to do any kind of self-sacrifice, there's no need for that. The Holy Spirit will show us when it's time again to go into that play, if and when it is time to go into that play. So we don't have to shut the door either. Christine, you're on.

SPEAKER_04: 1:55:39

All right. So if we have no need to stay there, yes, and it's what I'm perceiving is a projection of my mind, yeah. Wouldn't it be beneficial to see through it before I left?

SPEAKER_02: 1:55:56

That is always in the moment. Okay, that was the message I got in my situation. There was staying with it until I saw it really clearly. And it's like, okay, once I saw it really clearly, even the pain, and you know the situation, you you know, even the pain that comes up of not having this particular person to interact with, it just met with so much joy in seeing, oh, I don't have to play that kind of role anymore. Oh, what a relief. Yeah, because it just doesn't resonate for me anymore. And that's really what the purpose of staying for is to see. You know, you could just laugh at it and feel like it's really cute, and you don't have to be angry and you don't have to play with it, you know, like that anymore. But you know, like for me, if I do get the sense that I'm angry, I know I've been misguiding myself somehow.

SPEAKER_04: 1:57:00

Yeah, then you know it's not you know it's not complete, you know it's not complete because it's it's a leaving with anger and not with peace. That's right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:57:09

That's right. And with this particular friend, for many months, I kept on hearing in my mind, fuck you, fuck you, and then it would come back to that cycle again. It's like, oh, oh, maybe he's changed, and then it would go back to fuck you. And it's like, and another cycle would come up, and it would be so funny because he'd say something like, I know this sounds crazy, and I'm asking you to trust me when I've shown you that I have not been good at this at all. But would you play with me one more time? And I'm going, and I'm going, man, you know what? I I'm having a premonition on how this is gonna end, and I don't really mind because I just like I just really want the sex.

SPEAKER_04: 1:57:56

Yeah, you had great sex, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:57:58

So I even made a comment. I uh it had been a while since I've had really good sex for uh apparently, but I even made a comment like before that started happening, someone was talking about um having bad sex with someone and being disrespected. And I was on with some dialogues and I was like, bad sex and being disrespected. I go, man, I think I could deal with a little disrespect if the sex is good. Next thing I know, I get that experience. I didn't know that piece. I gotta, I gotta appreciate how my lessons come, you know, because you know, Jesus said you don't have to learn through pain. And it's just so comedic, right? Even when a painful thing comes up, like when I was in Mexico, I just get this sense like, oh man, wouldn't it just be so nice if he just walked around the corner and and he had a smile and I just fell right into his arms and just oh, like that, you know? And it's such a painful thing from the ego's perspective. But I would just take that and notice the feeling that I'm projecting and go, oh, I got it right there. That's that's it. Because because the thing is, when and when his body comes around, anyways, when his body comes around and then he gets all scared and in like eight hours changes his fucking mind, man, that's a that's a pain in the ass compared to, oh, I can just get the sense right now that he did just walk around the corner, smile, and I can fall into his arms and ah, really, it's the idea of it that's everything. Just the idea of it, uh, it's it shows you if it projects an image, it's just that don't get attached to the image. You don't need the person, you don't need the Body, in fact, just the imagination and the appreciation of the idea is enough. Thank you. Yay, thank you too. I love you, Christine. I love you. Oh, and I realized something I want to tell you before I go, I realized something about that Akashic record or Akashic reading you gave me. You know, you were talking about uh going to another dimension. Um, and I was like, man, I saw that, and I go, I do not want to do that. And the main reason I didn't want to do that is I didn't want to get this sense that I was attached to an outcome with being with this person, even if it could be in another dimension. You know, I was talking about the really good sex and stuff, and you were going, you guys are having sex already in other dimensions. You just access those other dimensions. And I was like, no way, I'm not trying to chase this fucker around like that in other dimensions, right? Um, what I recognized is more recently is the other dimensions, what you're talking about is really just a release of resistance, more release of resistance. And uh and it's not really tied to anybody in particular. There's just like this energy play of this really loving play, which uh which is an aspect of how we interact, of how we relate together, but it's really an aspect within the whole. That's what I see. And so allowing myself to be in that more and more, uh, my name has changed, or my website name has changed from hopejohnson.org to hope johnson.orgasm. Of course, if you go to hopeonson, you gotta type in dot org, not dot orgasm, that won't work, but it's short for orgasm because what I see is the more I'm releasing, uh being released from resistance to what seems to be occurring, I'm more in that kind of like energetic space where everything is love making. There doesn't need to be even genitals involved. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04: 2:02:07

That's why in way while, you know, a while ago I said the truth is erotic, truth is love, and that is that, and it's in everything. And if we're not living in that space, then the mind is you know, is is the leader.

SPEAKER_02: 2:02:21

Yeah, even if we feel obligated, we could be enjoying that thing that we seem to be obligated to do in a very sexual way, you can say. You're just being sensual with it, you're enjoying the sensations.

SPEAKER_04: 2:02:37

Because we're a sensing being. That's what we've been given the senses for, is to experience life fully. The other thing I want to say about the reading is when when a reading is happening, it's very archetypal. Like, so even though I'm talking about something that may or may not have occurred, you know, at another time or dimension, it's the archetype that we're playing with and dancing with to see through. Yeah, I see that.

SPEAKER_02: 2:03:03

Yeah, I see that a lot now. Uh-huh. And there's not a there's not a sense of uh any more like, why, why, why did that thing like, why does it have to be like this? When I was talking to you, why does it have to be that I'm in love with this fucking thing? You know what I mean? Uh but at the same time, it's like I wasn't even holding anything against him. I'm just like, man, why do I keep on running with these thoughts again and again and again? And it's just like you need to see because you really won't do want to access these deeper dimensions uh that are not, you know, attached to any kind of form, anything like that. Yes, and and you know, and recognizing, okay, I'm not gonna try to chase him to another dimension. I don't wanna I don't want to hang out with him if he doesn't want to hang out with me, of course, you know, I'm sure but but uh but seeing that these dimensions are being revealed through noticing what all of these relatings are for again and again, and letting all of our brothers just be true, you know, in the truth, see them in the truth, see them as being perfectly guided by the Holy Spirit and honoring their path. You know, it's like some of them don't want to relate in harmony, they only want to relate through harm, they want to relate through harming. It's actually self-harm, it's okay. And you know, in my case, it felt like it was difficult because I got the sense I was in love with this person. So I took that guilt, that difficulty, and all of the guilt that was associated with that and kept on bringing it to the truth until the sense of what I'm I'm losing, what I'm missing by not being able to interact with him just shows up in mass abundance right here. Until the sense of him is is more like a sense of, oh, thank you. Just gratitude, thank you. What a good brother.

SPEAKER_04: 2:05:15

Yeah, and it also brought you to Yoga Nidra.

SPEAKER_02: 2:05:19

So that's oh my gosh, I love Yoga Nidra. I do so much Yoga Nidra. I think I do at least an hour. You what? You do it twice a day? Yeah, Liz does it twice a day too. It's amazing, she's really tuned in too. It's like, you know, if you're gonna be perceiving a world, why not do such relaxing things like Yoga Nidra?

SPEAKER_04: 2:05:41

You know, for the physical body, right? Because it's we're we're experiencing through the body. So why not bring in more relaxation?

SPEAKER_02: 2:05:47

Yeah, and we're bringing it in through awareness too. Yeah, and there's a there's a real deep, there's a real depth to it that I just love. It's really great. Thank you for that. You're welcome. Yeah, I love you. All right, I love you. Yay, everyone. Thank you for joining me today for wisdom dialogues. I love you so much. I will be back Wednesday, that's in two days from now for ACIM Deep Dive. We're still on chapter two. We're gonna be starting with chapter uh paragraph 22. I think it might be the last paragraph of that particular section. What will actually be on to another section, still in chapter two, but on to another section. You can find everything you need about Hope Johnson, I think, at hope. Hopejohnson.org. Okay, it's short for orgasm, but don't type that all the way in. Hopejohnson.org. And I have lots of stuff on there. You can get to my Zoom from there, you can get to Substack, you can get recordings. All of these are recorded, they've been recorded for years. I have thousands of hours of recordings. You can get to um podcast stations from there, you can donate to me from there. This is totally funded by your donations. Thank you. And you can book one-on-one with me on there. You can also get my book called Unschooling for Parents subtitle A Mystic's Guide to Awakening with Children. I did a lot of that with children. There is a lot of obligation apparently going on there. You're supposed to get them to school and shit like that, apparently. So you can check that out. Even if you're not a parent, it's a really fun book to read and it's like an oracle. You can get it on there. You could also get it on Amazon. Um, you could probably qualify for it for free if you have Amazon Prime. So, yay! Until next time. I love you. Thank you, Caitlin. Thank you, Glenn. Thank you, everyone. You're all so sweet. Thank you for joining. Aloha, mahalo, and a hooeyhouse.