If Nothing Here Is Real, What Makes You Whole? | Wisdom Dialogues @ Bellingham Washington | December 14, 2025

Start with still water, end with laughter. Across two rich hours, we question what productivity even means and swap the hustle for miracle-mindedness: seeing thoughts arise, letting feelings be felt, and choosing the peace of God right now. I share how supply shows up when we stop gripping, why “you need do nothing” isn’t avoidance, and how trust quietly multiplies our loaves and fishes when the mind releases plans and panic.

We wander, honestly, through the terrain of desire, romance, and boundaries. I talk through a messy dynamic—neediness, pullback, fantasy—and how labeling people cements pain. Clean boundaries don’t punish; they simply stop feeding a pattern that doesn’t reflect truth. Regret gets a gentle audit, too: it isn’t caused by what happened last week; it’s an ancient echo asking to be seen and released. Keep the regret and you repeat it. Forgive it and you turn the page.

We also unpack sex, fantasy, and sensation with candor. Fantasy is a substitute for joining; it dulls presence and complicates love. Pleasure deepens when it’s an expression, not a bargaining chip. The same clarity heals the body story: symptoms lose their “cause” when we drop fear narratives and rest in causeless peace. And when harm seems to happen, we name it out loud, refuse secrecy, and then look with Christ’s vision so only love remains. That’s the practice threaded through everything: watch the mind without fear, forgive what never truly occurred, and let laughter end the world’s spell.

If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s ready to need less and feel more, and leave a review telling us which belief about love or lack you’re questioning today.

Chapters

• 0:00 Soft Landing At The Lake
• 2:00 Rethinking Productivity And Perception
• 8:40 Inner Supply And Letting Life Provide
• 15:30 Peace Of God Over Worldly Wants
• 22:30 Forgiveness, Miracles, And Desire
• 29:40 Explaining The Format And Flow
• 33:00 You Need Do Nothing: Trust And Provision
• 41:20 People’s Opinions And Seeing Innocence
• 49:00 Relationships Mirror Beliefs About God
• 58:20 Regret, Consequences, And The Happy Learner
• 1:06:40 Watching Ego Thoughts Without Fear
• 1:15:20 Sickness As Guilt And Causeless Symptoms
• 1:24:40 Ownership, Freedom, And Non‑Attachment
• 1:33:10 Boundaries, Honesty, And Sexual Energy
• 1:43:00 Fantasy, Sensation, And Real Joining

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

Aloha and welcome to Wisdom Dialogues with Hope Johnson coming to you from Cedro Woolley, Washington. And if you're watching, the background photo is now an actual photo of the lake from this place where I'm staying. So that's super beautiful. It's very mellow vibes. That's what I'm sensing. Uh, the water always looks kind of smooth but a little bit flowy. It's just really sweet. Feels real smooth around here, real loving and easeful. So juicy. Oh yeah, I forgot juicy. I forgot juicy. That too. Yes. And uh speaking of easeful, ah, I love seeing you too. I love seeing your name, anyways. I see you in my mind. We want to be easeful with everything because everything is ourselves and everyone is ourselves. There's truly nothing being done here. Normally, what gets perceived as productivity is something that's built up in the world. Maybe it's just building up your self-image. Maybe you went out and you talked with a bunch of people and you told them who you think you were, and they seem to believe you on that, and you're building something. Or maybe you're building something physical, or you're fixing something, or you're doing some kind of computer work or something like that. But that's not truly being productive, that's just arising on the screen. It because it just doesn't mean anything. It all gets rolled up as nothing. That's not saying you shouldn't be doing those things. It's you're not really doing them at all. It's just a matter of the way you're looking at them, as if that reflects how productive you're being. Because a productivity really is in the mind. It's being miracle-minded, it's seeing through the different illusions that arise through having a perception. Your perception actually contains nothing, it's imagination, it contains nothing at all. It gives you numerous opportunities, though, to be in close relationship with the truth, right? Which is your ecstasy and your joy while you have perceptions. You set up a perception, a perceptual world to prove that you're not who you think you are, so that you can see through those. See, your beliefs, your hidden beliefs, they are being proven, quote unquote, through this world. So you can use everything as being symbolic of something you can choose to be released from. In our A Course in Miracles deep dives lately, it we've been talking about keeping only the good to the ego. That's terrible. Keeping only the good, you gotta have both, right? But really, that stems from the tree of knowledge. It's like you gotta have both, and you gotta have light and dark. That's also not true, that's also a manifestation of belief. Okay, the manifest world that we see is based on polarities that are set up in the unconscious, and none of it's really here. As long as there's a sun that seems to be in the sky, you have unconscious beliefs to undo. You are the sun, you're the light that reflects as the sun. You are that. See? So as long as you seem to see things in separation where you seem to need stuff, right? For instance, you need to have water. I seem to have some water right here. It's sure to seem nice when I wet my whistle with it. It's just that it's for play. We don't really actually depend on any of these things. The things that we seem to depend on, that we believe that we do depend on, those just get provided for us. We don't have to try to secure ourselves to make sure that we're gonna have constant supply in the future. Let's say for those years that we think we won't be working, also that setting that setting something like that, I won't be earning, for instance. The idea of earning, even it's hilarious, you know, and it's like while we believe in the idea of having to earn our place here, we're gonna perceive manifestations like that. And it could be super gentle, it could just be allowing that illusion to play, allowing it to be gentle and easeful, noticing that all your resources are also arising right out of your mind, coming from nothing, even your resources to play out your secret beliefs, coming all out. Come on in, my love. Make yourself comfortable, grab a seat. Yay. I don't know. Okay, I'm Sean. Aloha, beautiful Sean. I love how you're dressed so Christmassy and even have bells on for this adventure. Thank you for doing that.

SPEAKER_03: 7:18

I was supposed to pick Sammy up. I guess I beat her here.

SPEAKER_00: 7:26

Oh, yeah. Well, what fun. I'm happy pick her in. I'm happy we're expecting more. This is so fun.

SPEAKER_03: 7:32

Yes, there's at least two of them.

SPEAKER_00: 7:35

So where were we? Do you remember? You're doing great.

SPEAKER_02: 7:41

Resources.

SPEAKER_00: 7:43

Oh, resources, thank you. Yes, you're fully resourced from within, fully, and even apparent resources that you seem to see coming from the world, your all-powerful mind is manifesting those effortlessly. You don't have to, you know, there's a whole bunch of manifestation uh spirituality going on. Uh, you don't have to really know what you want, you don't really have to know, like it's known before you know. And you know, of course, in miracles says you don't really know what you want, you mistake joy for pain, you invert those things. And you know, all that really comes down to is recognizing that you want the peace of God, and that's all you want. Everything else comes from that, right? I want the peace of God. That can only be now, that can only occur now, right? All other manifestations, manifestations in the world are totally uh, let's say they're uh they're detached from the peace of God, but the peace of God does affect the manifestations on its own. So it's like, man, I don't even need to know what seems to be wanted. Sometimes it pops up, you know, a thought like, wow, it'd be really great to go dancing. That would be fun. Oh, what if I got to dance with a cool dancer that I got on dancing really well with? Woo! Ooh, what if he also became my lover? Woo! That sounds fun, you know. The thoughts, and the reason why I make the thoughts so visible so visible, just like as they arise like that, is that they're not personal, right? This is not personal. I'm not sharing personal thoughts with you, actually. These are worldly thoughts, they just go pop right out, right? So it's in recognizing that it's not the thought, it's noticing what feeling do you want that seems to be missing right now. See, so that that's how every thought could be used for miracle-mindedness. This is miracle working, it's also forgiveness because it's forgiveness of the thought that this sense of enjoyment and peace is in some activity that's not here right now. See, it's lack, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the sweet feeling that comes along with it. There's a sweet feeling that arises with the thought that seems like it's something that you want. That's the direction that you want, that feeling, not the particular, okay, how do I get this? Let me see how I how do I go about manifesting this, right? And and it's like it's like, man, all these things that we believe that we want and that we seek after long for anything like that. It takes us out of the present moment where everything is, everything that we want is here right now. There's nothing. So then these ideas, they've just become playful and not heavy. It's not like they need to be pushed away, right? It's just that they become playful and not heavy because knowing that the idea is just like a muse, there's nothing in this world that can satisfy us, you know, because we're not in time. Everything that arises in this world only arises to pass away again, right? And and that's why it can't satisfy us because we're eternal beings. See, so we want to go back to recognizing ourselves as we are as eternal beings. Kai says to see through the illusion is the miracle. So I always go back to my favorite uh for defining what a miracle is in a course in miracles. My favorite quote: a miracle establishes that you dream a dream and none of its content is true. See, so what Kai shared was to see through illusion is the miracle. That's right, and forgiveness induces the miracle. You see how I gave an example of forgiveness there? It was forgive it, forgiveness for a thought that was based on a belief that enjoyment and satisfaction can be found in an event that's not occurring now. See, that's a distraction that's making it so that you don't see where your source of enjoyment and happiness, perfect happiness, is actually coming from and how you can accept that right now. Welcome, lovelies. Thank you for joining.

SPEAKER_02: 13:17

Joining today, but I brought the rest of the lovelies.

SPEAKER_00: 13:20

Well, thank you. Thank you for bringing people.

SPEAKER_02: 13:22

See you soon.

SPEAKER_00: 13:23

Okay, sounds good. Yay! Hi, we can really begin now. Um no, but I put them on the card. Apparently, we have a take stuff out of your car. Aloha, welcome.

SPEAKER_03: 13:46

You know, I could me.

SPEAKER_00: 13:49

Yes, I hugged you already. It was so fun.

SPEAKER_02: 13:52

Did you have that uh turquoise hat? The cool ass hat, yes, that was me. And Madeline.

SPEAKER_00: 13:58

Madeline, aloha, my love. Thank you for joining. Yes, nice to see you. Nice to see you.

SPEAKER_02: 14:04

All right, and Sean. All right, well, thank you, Sean. We'll see you very soon.

SPEAKER_00: 14:09

Okay, aloha.

SPEAKER_03: 14:11

Oh man, it was fun where I was all right, yeah. I'm so glad to see you, Erin. And okay.

SPEAKER_00: 14:25

Yay, I have a sweet room full of people here and also a sweet group on Zoom and Substack. Um, thank you. Thank you for joining.

SPEAKER_01: 14:36

I hope you can explain to them what it's you're gonna do and and maybe even why you do this.

SPEAKER_00: 14:41

You're gonna have me explain to someone what I do 23 minutes into me doing the thing. All right.

unknown: 14:52

All right.

SPEAKER_02: 14:53

I understand.

SPEAKER_00: 14:55

This is a stream of consciousness, it comes automatically. You can ask any questions you want, just give me a nod or give me a hand, I'll I'll uh I'll slow down and let you in. Channeling. Uh, you know, I don't really call it channeling because I don't I don't perceive myself as being separate from it.

SPEAKER_04: 15:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 15:15

So awesome. Okay. Okay. Yay. Yay. So we were we were going over sustenance, how everything that sustains you comes from within you, it does not come from outside of yourself. The things that you perceive as being outside of yourselves, those are manifested by your all-powerful mind. Okay, so when you get the sense that you have to, like you, there's some burden on you to be something, to learn something, to get something, to meet someone, for instance. That's what I mean by thinking your sustenance is outside of you. And that's why, you know, in A Course of Miracles, there's a really sweet uh section called you need do nothing. It's really interesting. This doesn't mean that you're trying to stop your self-aform from producing anything, it's not anything like that, it's recognizing that your mind doesn't have to run toward figuring it out, like how your self is going to be sustained. All of the things that need to occur just arise. It is really true that love sustains you. For the most part, what's going on with the conditioned mind, though, is not awareness of this automatic sustenance that's completely unending, right? So then there's running to thoughts about how am I gonna get it? How am I gonna get that thing that I think I need? You know, one of them might be clean water for some people, right? It's still the same, it's always the same. No matter what the perception is, it's recognizing where your supply comes from that's everything. So, in the story about Jesus with the fishes and the loaves, you guys know that story where they just kept on producing. As there were mouths to feed, they kept on producing. That's because of trust in what the truth is. So we don't automatically just jump all the way to perfect trust like that, where we're holding out our hand and any food we need, we seem to need just manifest right in our hand. You know, if there's money needed, we don't need a bank account. It just goes, There it is. Here, right there. We do it through forgiveness. We forgive these thoughts that make us into a limited individual that is dependent on the outer world that's dependent for one thing, people's opinions. That seems to be really important, right? What happens if my community doesn't like me? Oh my gosh, that's a great thought to just get into, feel it. Ah, my whole community thinks hope is a complete blithering idiot. They've seen wisdom dialogues and they're like, dang, that chick, I don't know where she gets off, right? Feel it. Ah, whatever it seems to be for you, that means nothing, and yet the perception of it can be used to see through the whole illusion that you're projecting. It would be a great thing. Hopefully, they seem to see me in a certain way that they're just like because it's fun, right? It's all for fun, really, and and and being being the light, okay, the great rays. Let's say the great rays, those are uh the truth about you, your timelessness, your essence, your loveliness, your innocence, okay? Being that within any experience you seem to have. So, whatever it is that arises for me, it's totally freaking awesome. Because it's coming, it's an emotional journey. That's all I can handle. Any emotion, of course. Of course, you can too. How's it gonna hurt you? How's it gonna touch you? And pain is just fear, that's just an emotion, right? Pain is just fear. Uh, whatever someone's giving me any kind of uh energy that seems like I'm a bad person, they're telling me off, something like that. The only thing I know that I'm hearing all this for is to see them in their perfection. So I could see myself that way. Anything that seems to be coming up as evidence that I'm lacking something or not good enough, or I've fallen from grace in some way, that's just giving me the opportunity to see what's true. So a friend was sharing with me recently, and I'm gonna tell this story. Yay, Caitlin. I love you. Thank you. Yeah, and then there's our opinion. Thank you, Kai. Yes, that's the most important. We don't really have a real opinion either. So, whatever we seem to think about another person, that's not really about another person, is it? It's just reflecting something in the unconscious. Aloha. Oh, aloha to you in Hawaii. Thank you, Caitlin. I love you. And you have a new baby. The baby is starting out listening to wisdom dialogue. This is so fun. I just love this. And I'm sure ACIM daily lessons, those are available on my website under free resources. You can have all these recordings. Um, apparently, I have more ACIM material, according to one of my friends, than anyone. I didn't start out with it being ACIM. Uh, but once I started reading ACIM, I go, what the heck? I must have written this FACA. You know? I felt the same way. You feel the same way. Nice. Yes. Yes. It's like you just know. It's like, oh my goodness, what a relief. This is all written down. So I'm gonna share something uh that a friend was sharing with me, and it's really good symbol and example for different uh perceptions that you might have. This one's on regret. I thought that was really fun, you know. Uh so first, she's getting this perception that she is needing to be with a person, and this particular person doesn't seem to be paying her too much attention. Needing to hear his voice, needing to talk to him, needing to get something, right? So we looked at, okay, what's the belief behind this? So there's this romantic thing about some karma that they are supposed to have. I go, forget about all the the the who-do voodoo stuff. It's underlying thoughts. That's all it is. It's really, really simple. Thoughts held in the subconscious mind are projecting relationships. So relationships with people, and very often with romantic relationships, also uh parent-child, they reflect what you believe your relationship to be with God. So where there's abandonment, abandonment, rejection kind of beliefs being projected onto God, that's how your rela, your romantic relationships are gonna go. Just and and you know, you're gonna seem to be stuck toward a person, like uh someday he's gonna return this unrequited love. You know, you keep chasing toward this person. Someday he's gonna see me in all my glory, see me for who I am, right? It's a distraction to get to stop you from seeing this. Did not originate in time. This originated outside of time when you decided that you were separate from God. God didn't create you to be separate, God created you to be individualized, God created you to be in relationship with God. Totally different from what you took it as. That's each of us. That's why our holiness is completely untouched by what we perceive that we do in separation. So I shared with my friend. See if you could see that you don't actually need this person. Really? Are you willing? Are you willing to see that you don't actually need this person? And here's the kicker: all the good feelings that you seem to get with the person, those come from you. You project them onto the person. You can wait and make it a good one. You know, make it one that reflects the love and the sweetness that you are. I mean, that's always what's going to occur, and that's what's going on with this one. Look, you have the right to just respectfully, lovingly say no to whatever it is that doesn't reflect the truth of who you are. And the way that would look is like this there's a thought annoying you that's saying, I need to talk to him today. Recognize that thought is meaningless. Talking to him today could still occur, but it's actually not affecting the way I feel. That's me making a story out of it. It's actually not affecting the way I feel, whether I talk to him or not today. See, we feel each other, and this is another thing that even makes them want to pull away because it feels like neediness when you think you need a person, and you think you're needing a person, so the story gets richer. Okay, so meanwhile, this friend, her father is passing away, right? He's letting her know it's getting close and stuff like that. Well, she's chasing the dude who's not interested in her, right? Interested in her sometimes, you know it's one of those. You know what I mean. Hey, you're available. You always are light, you lift me up. Okay, I'll take some. Right? The ego only takes though, the ego doesn't join. Okay, I'll take some of that, right? So the father passes away, and then there's this sense of deep regret for not having seen him and being with him while he was passing away, up to the point where he's passing away, because she needed to chase the guy around. See, that's the story that she's telling me, right? And okay, so here's what it comes down to the regret. It's not because of that story. That story did not cause the regret. The regret is for something that you didn't do, it's outside of time, it did not originate in time. That's the same regret making a story about you coming up because this is unresolved regret, and it only needs to be seen as that. So then my friend goes, Well, what about this consequence? I don't like this consequence at all because now my dad is gone, I can't get him back, I can't get that time back, I didn't get what I wanted. Okay, great. This is wonderful. This is uh a great awareness. This is where the happy learner comes in. This is where the happy learner comes in. It's like, look, one thing you can look, your dad, he doesn't care about all that stuff. He does not care about all that stuff. His mind is now aligned with God, who wants only your perfect happiness right now, the only moment you can receive it. Who wants you to be released from this? And it's like, well, how will? And this is the ego, how the ego does it. How will I get better if I don't keep this regret? Well, actually, deciding to keep the regret guarantees that you do it again. In fact, it sets up more lifetime so you can just play out the same heartache again and again because it's basically saying, I love feeling this regret. This is amazing. I want to do it again. I don't want to know what's causing it though. Don't show me what's causing it. I just want to feel it as if I actually did something terrible, treacherous. What a horrible daughter this is, right? So you you you know, you recognize the ego's voice and just kind of laugh at it. Be happy. Look at this is helping you. Here's your pattern. Here's your pattern showing you again and again. This is the thing that's hooking you in this lifetime. It's where you keep on chasing people who are unavailable. Okay, uh, apparently unavailable. And it looks like that, but it's really coming from you. You're making them unavailable, actually. Isn't that fun? So, you know, it's even to take the label off of the person, right? Is it so it doesn't lock them because if you lock them into anything, you're locking yourself into something. So it's even to take the label off the person, it's like we made this uh dynamic where I'm needy and you're pushing me away. What fun. You know, for me, when I found myself in a dynamic like that, I I was so glad about it, you know, because I I never uh I never thought I would ever see myself in a dynamic like that. Cause I just the sweetest relationship with my husband is just like he's he's not like regular dudes, like regular dudes that you see, right? He doesn't like see a hot chick on TV and go, oh I want to, whatever.

SPEAKER_01: 31:30

He doesn't have a normal mind.

SPEAKER_00: 31:32

He doesn't have what?

SPEAKER_01: 31:33

A normal mind.

SPEAKER_00: 31:34

A normal mind. Okay. Yeah, he doesn't not, he's not like that. He does not like to objectify women at all. That's like a thing. Uh he's not uh he's not condemning of other dudes who do it. It just it's like this this consciousness that's grown beyond that, right? So here I am cruising with this guy 30 years, and I'm like, man, I've made it. I don't have to deal with any stupid uh bullshit from guys where they push me away. This guy is totally not like that. He's like, you're the best, you're the best, you're the best, you're the most beautiful, and everything like that. Touchy-feely everything.

unknown: 32:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 32:14

So apparently I seem to grow uh to to a point where I wasn't attracted to him anymore. And all of a sudden I seem to fall in love with someone else, and I seem to go through the whole thing that people go through, and I feel so uh playful about it because it just seems like I'm just given that so I could see what it's like, so I can go through it and know what the feelings are and share it with you guys because I'm just so so jazzed about it, and I don't feel like or or have any fear of relating going forward, uh, thinking I'm gonna find myself in another situation like that or something like that, just because I see so much through relating uh in that way. So when I found myself in a dynamic like that, I just watched. I'm like, okay, there it is. That's the kind of dynamic you know, people tell me, have been telling me about over the years, or they're chasing they and I felt that within myself. It's like I need this, you know. I even noticed that in my mind. I need this, and I go, wow, that's not me. Does it not sound like me at all? And there was just this energy of almost like a vampire, like wanting to grab him like that and keep him. I'm like, oh, very nice. And then noticing, uh, and then noticing the pulling away that came from that sign. It's like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my god, that's the best, it was the sweetest. It's like, okay, so watch it play out for a little bit and then it gets to the point where oh, I'm done with that dynamic. Uh yeah, I'm not I'm not interested in playing in that in that dynamic. And what that looks like for me, it's just like no more of that access to my emotional body. No, that's it. The access to the emotional body, which means when I get a perception that I need that person, that I feel amorous toward that person, there's an interruption, and it's recognizing that's coming from me, has nothing to do with that person. We already know going into a dynamic with that person, what it looks like. So it's like you could see, okay, this is actually painful. It seems like pleasure, but it's actually painful. No need to go there. And it's like, as far as it is with the person, and we're totally remaining in holy relationship. We're just not in that dynamic. You know, it's like we can uh have conversation, we can hang out. Uh, we're just not in that dynamic because there's no access to the emotional body like that. We can play like that all we want, but when it leads to a dynamic that's unfulfilling, let's say it's not reflective of the truth that I am, of the light that I am. It's not reflective of that. So the dynamic becomes something that's not given energy anymore. So anything that reaches toward that person, it's automatically seen as no, that's not a pattern that's fruitful. See, it just gets cut off right there. And you know, it's always gonna be like that as long as we believe it. If we attach something like karma, oh, we're karmically. I thought he was the one for me at one point. Oh, we're karmically supposed to be together. I've seen some of my friends go through this where you know they'll even be practicing witchcraft trying to get the guy back. There's all kinds, yeah. One of my friends, uh, she's on here right now. Thank you. Uh uh, she told me, yeah, the reason why it seems so hard, because it seems so hard to be like, oh, these miracles seem harder than normal with this, because there's this wanting to go into it and grab and and feel that the the you know the fantasy and the sensations and all that. She said, because you guys are making love on other dimensions, and I'm like, oh, well, I'm not gonna feed on any of that energy, right? I'm not gonna feed that, feed that thing. That may be the case in the Akashic Records. Maybe that's what's going on, and that's fine. The way I see it is I just see him picture him in perfect holiness. At one point, when I was looking at him, I saw more light coming from him at any point, and my mind just has uh uh than any point I've ever seen. My mind just has a snapshot of that, and my mind just goes back to that instead of being in any kind of missing mode or anything like that. In fact, when he shared with me what that he was missing me, I just didn't feed that energy, right? Uh, it's not like I was, it's not like I wasn't kind, I just didn't feed that energy. You know, I've just reminded myself and him that we're always joined. We were joined before we arose in form as if we're joined. We were joined during that whole time, and we're joined now. Right? It's like not playing into, oh, well, what do you miss about me? Or uh I miss you too, or something like that. It's just like, oh, well, you know, we're always joined. Let that be the balm on your heart. I mean, I let that be the balm on my heart, right? That we're always joined, we're always one, we're always in perfect union, and let everything else flow as it does, being in holding everything with an open hand, right? Everything with an open hand, that means not grasping, something not grasping the thing. Same thing goes for perceiving someone as a provider. Me and my husband were playing out that kind of game. It was as if I needed him around because he was doing all the manly things, lifting things, taking the garbage out, uh, in the business, doing inventory. And to him, from his perspective, it was as if he needed me for survival, like financially. Right? And so there's this uh these these patterns start playing underneath, and it's like you start to see a person without recognizing it as some kind of resource rather than a sovereign being, you know, doing this with you, which is you know, holding your hand while you go to miracle-mindedness and see past the illusions that you made back to truth. That's really the reason anyone joins. We don't really need them for these utilities that it seems, and that ties us to these dynamics that are not very friendly to ourselves or to the other person. You know, me and my husband could end up getting back together. I don't know. Right? It's just it's just a matter of having these patterns played out underneath. It seems like, man, I'm not attracted to that guy. I'll I'll hang. Out with him here and there. He's going to come over here. He's going to be over here next month. He'll be here for a week with my son, with our son. We have a 17-year-old son. They'll be over here next month. And, you know, I love him. I admire him. I respect him. But I don't have that kind of sense. You know, like I want to join with him in that kind of way. So it could be that all these patterns that have played out. You know, I noticed just the other day he sent me a text telling me how much he appreciates how I'm unpredictable and free. And that these are the things that really attract him to me. And, you know, I just got such an upset feeling in my mind that, well, uh, fuck you for raising our sons to think that I was a fucking lunatic because of those reasons that you're attracted to me. Right. So I'm like, oh, there's a forgiveness opportunity. Like, I just recognize that's a forgiveness opportunity. I notice a part of me wants to write something snarky. Well, why don't you fix what you fucking did? And an idea like that's affecting my relationship with my sons now. See? So so these things are playing out for all of us. I just have mine on loudspeaker because I'm invulnerable. I know I'm not vulnerable to these things. I'm not vulnerable to what anyone thinks of me. I just have been through all of that. So I share my stuff on loudspeaker and some things that I hear from other people too, because they really help to see how you how do you look through this really practically? It's it's really spirituality comes back to being practical. You know, this could go unnoticed where I'm just feeling this sense of, gosh, I've been so wronged. I was like misunderstood all those years. And then there's some self-blame too. It's like, man, if I would have left his ass 10 years ago, he would have woke up 10 years ago. Because as soon as I left him, he's like thanking me for leaving him that it woke him up so much. I'm like, damn, if I would have known we were gonna have that reaction, I would have left 10 years ago. Had no idea that would be the case. You know, but there was a sense of uh of holding on, and not that it was wrong because it was still giving me a really good container to undo my mind. You know, this is a sweet, uh sweet container that we had together. There was just this sense that he wasn't supporting the spiritual journey I was on and doing all these wisdom talks since 2014. It never came to one. You know, that that kind of uh that kind of relating. But other than that, I felt like he was really holding a space around a home and raising kids and being sweet to me in general. Uh so it was it was really sweet, but there was uh also an underlying energy that I needed him in my life. I couldn't imagine myself not being with him. Like, how would I even make it? How would I even do anything? He's always uh I've been with him since I was 21, apparently. It's like been doing everything as far as household stuff. And I was the one who was responsible for all the things that were being done on the computer and in a business, uh, beautiful business, Miracle Botanicals. It's an essential oil business, and it's still going. And my husband still donates to my ministry. So that's one way to indirectly support Hope Johnson is go to miraclebotanicals.com and get the best essential oils.

SPEAKER_02: 43:58

What you're describing there, where it's like you know, you have these thoughts come in and like this little snarky comment. So these are like the solution. So that would be a solution.

SPEAKER_00: 44:09

The ego solution would be a snarky comment back. Let him know that I know that he's a fuck up.

unknown: 44:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 44:16

So this is going on apparently in the world. I mean, this is just rampant.

SPEAKER_00: 44:22

This is this this this is regular ass thoughts.

unknown: 44:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 44:25

Okay, they these are popping up throughout the throughout the the day.

SPEAKER_01: 44:29

Normally go not.

SPEAKER_00: 44:30

Yeah. It's not it's not something to analyze about yourself, it's not something uh to describe where you are spiritually. It's not like that. What what really reflects where you're you are spiritually is how you are seeing it now. Not what the content of the thought is. The content of the thought doesn't matter. Remember, the content of thoughts is meant to prove that you're not who you are. Okay, you know, it's like I've I've seen this and practice it so much, I'm so not afraid of my thoughts. I just say them right out. That's why, uh, that's why, you know, you know, someone asked me if it's channeling. No, it's not channeling. There's just not a filter. I'm not building, I'm not building an image for you guys. In other words, I'm not uh I'm not I'm not choosing on my own with the ego what you're gonna hear that's gonna make my image look a certain way to you. I'm just saying regular thoughts that arise are like pop, pop, pop, pop and go largely unnoticed. One of the things Jesus was talking about, not even just talking about, harping on in chapter two, was you let so much go by unguarded. Okay, so much. Just you think it, believe it, it's gone. You hate it, you repress it, you don't want anyone else to see it. You think anyone who knows that you think like that is gonna think you're crazy. You don't think like that. These are not your real thoughts, they're ego thoughts, they're not even personal, they're arising from the unconscious, unwatched mind, though. And as you watch them and recognize their meaninglessness, for one, you could see them more. Yay! Yay to that. You get to see them more. And if you're not uh if you haven't yet been resolved, been released from the from the apparent meaning of the thought, you'll feel it. So you want to feel it, feel the, let's say, regret with my friend story. It sounds like such a regretful story. I'll never get that time back. Well, actually, your dad, when he seemed to have a body, that was like a fence. Now he doesn't have that fence. All you have to do to meet him is allow yourself to be released from the regret. The regret is what holds you apart from him. He's not at that regret vibration. Okay, he's at the he's at the vibration that God holds for you, which is perfect happiness. That's where all of your loved ones are, that's where they're vibrating truly. And even when they do seem to have a body, that's the truth of that of them is always vibrating in that peace. That's why it's being in command of the world when you're knowing this, when you're knowing that you're your likeness with everyone is the divine particles of peace. That's where we join, that's where we connect with one another. It's not in these ego thoughts, it's not in these uh looking at people as if they're resources. I've been uh reading a lot from some of my friends. I happen to be on Facebook. I don't know if everyone has friends like this. I happen to be on Facebook, and I have some certain friends that are very vocal about their experiences with men saying stuff like, We're not gonna take it anymore, you guys. We don't even need you guys anymore. Like, we have really good sex toys now. Have you seen the technology that's out these days? Okay, these can do way more than you for much longer. And you know, I'm going, uh okay, this is good. This is really good. We don't want to leave our brothers behind, of course. And at the same time, this is good because we're seeing something now, we're seeing a dynamic that's being played that we do not like. That's great. The the part the the part that helps actually get to where we do like what we do like is forgiveness. So, for one, that's letting the dudes completely off the hook, right? It's letting them off the hook for whatever we seem to see in them because we've all set this up. We've all agreed to set it up. And as uh women or men, it doesn't matter. In this case, we're looking at uh I'm seeing that these are women, right? But it can go either way, really. When we're refusing to play in dynamics that don't reflect the truth that we are, that's what teaches the mind. It's not a matter of punishing the men, it's not a matter of punishing them. They're gonna learn though when there's no quality chicks available because they're not playing in in these dynamics, they can't help it, right? They can't help it, and it's like knowing we're okay, right? So I've been hearing about sex toys from people since I've been single for a little while now, you know. Uh so uh so I go, okay, so I'm over in Bellingham. I go into a sex shop and I'm checking all out the sex toys. I'm like, wow, I have not looked at anything like this in more than 30 years. And it is there's there's like all kinds of things, and you get to play with them right there, right? You get to push play with not actually put them in the place, but you know, put them on your hands. I was like, oh, you do? And I'm like, no, not like that. Just try them out right here. And I was relating with a with a woman there, and I was like, Yeah, you know, you might as well have a a great time with yourself because another relationship is always coming, right? It's always, and then but and then once it's here, you're like, shit, wow, that was kind of short-lived that time. I was hanging out by myself. Right. And uh and and then I and then I said, you know, even if it's not till next lifetime, it's still short time. And and she she looked at me and she's like, yeah, she's like, that's right. That's right. It's still, you know, just holding things with an open hand. It's like allowing things to evolve as they do, to arise as they do. And, you know, allowing yourself to have whatever kind of pleasure you want to experiment with and stuff like that. And not making it, you know, not making it though. Here's where it gets diabolical is where you make it as if you need that thing now, as if you need that kind of means, you know, it's not it's never like that, or it's gonna get you somewhere, it's gonna get you something. No thing in the world has any benefit, and no thing in the world is any kind of threat. I've heard you need it so that you can have good pelvic health, or you can sleep better, or you can do all this other stuff. How about you just like to have a good ass time, right? I mean, that's really that's that's God's will for you, is the perfect happiness, not to make illusions true and to make it as if something is good for you. And the reason is that it always comes with this equal and opposite, which is something bad for you that you believe is bad for you. See? So there's nothing good or bad for you. And it really works wonders from what I've seen as far as like sickness goes. Uh, you know, this morning, it was probably like three in the morning or something. I was up messing around with my ACIM daily lessons, and I started noticing one of them I started coughing and I had like a little scratch in the back of my throat. And then I was like, oh, it seems like I don't feel so good. I found a little uh thing up in my ribs here, and uh and oh, okay, yay. This is a moment I get yay whenever I get a symptom. I I do. I totally get like that because I know all symptoms are basically guilt, they're the same as guilt. It's like a guilty thought popped up. Now it's manifest as a symptom. That's all. So it's recognizing that that thing has no cause. That's what I do. I just recognize it has no cause. The mind will go looking for a cause, right? Something before that happened. Maybe your hair was wet when you were uh after the jacuzzi and you were in the cold for a minute. Oh, shouldn't have done that. Fuck that up. Oh, maybe it was one of those oysters you ate last night. Oh, that could have been. One of them looked a little cloudy, right? So, so uh so just watching those thoughts that come up and having a laugh at those thoughts, right? So then I find myself going back to bed. Uh wake up a couple hours later, I'm like, what the heck? Yeah, there's no symptoms at all. I can't even like if I'm trying to find one. It just didn't have a cause. It's really what it is. The mind is so powerful, it gives things their cause. Right? And when I started practicing this, I wasn't immediately noticing simple symptoms disappearing like that. I wasn't immediately noticing them, I was just practicing for the peace of mind, right? For for the peace of mind and recognizing I'm all powerful. I'm actually projecting a guilty thought. This is just a guilty thought. There's only thoughts and thoughts forms here. This is just a guilty thought made manifest here. I don't have to believe in just as I don't believe in a guilty thought, I don't believe in its manifestation either. So I don't give a guilty manifestation any cause in the world. And I do the same with other people that I meet. I don't know what happened with my brother and uh and his daughter after after I left Las Vegas. Uh, I didn't I didn't talk to them since then, but they both seem to be coming down with symptoms. And they wanted to sit, both of them. His daughters, I think 11 or 12, they both wanted to sit and listen to a Course in Miracles lesson I happen to be on, which happens to happen to be correlating sickness and guilt, right? So I did I normally do a reading and I do a contemplation on that. These can be found on my website, by the way, free resources. Um and so I was like, this is perfect that it's coming up. Well, you two seem to have symptoms. And so they're asking me questions and they didn't really get how it was uh associated with guilt. How is it associated with guilt? And should we be guilty? Are we guilty? No, you're not guilty. You think you're guilty, and this is the manifestation of that. You don't know you think you're guilty because you're not you used to watching your mind. When I first tell people they think they're guilty, they're like, no way. Okay, some of my family members are still like that. No way. You know, they don't they don't wash watch their mind. You can see the guilty thoughts coming up all the time. Oh gosh, hope. I just wish I had more, whatever that is. I'm like, there it is, right there. That's a guilty thought. What? Yeah, that's a guilty thought. It's attesting to lack. It's not being here in the moment, it's preventing you. It's like a veil preventing you from being here in the moment, from recognizing the abundance that you are, from having everything right now. You go from having everything, knowing that you have everything, and manifestation allowing manifestation to just take care of itself. Yay. Okay, I got a couple comments. Let's see. Alexia, my love. Oh, yay. Yes, it is so fun. I made them unavailable, totally obvious. Thanks for playing. Okay, I don't know what you're talking about there, but I think I get the gist. Thank you, Alexia.

SPEAKER_02: 56:50

She's the one that made the dudes unavailable.

SPEAKER_00: 56:51

You made the dudes. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's uh yeah, you're into dudes now. Okay. She didn't particularly say that. Yeah. Ah, okay. Better title, A Course Why You Don't Need Miracles. What fun. Thank you, Kai. I love it. Okay. Akasha's saying, if the secret had been true, we'd all be bazillionaires. That's fun. Yeah. Well, you know, it's just this, even the secret, and that was one of the first spiritual books that was given to me, you know, after the Bible. I was raised a Christian missionary, so I got a lot of Bible as a kid. And then I went into not interested in the Bible one bit, too much condemnation, what never want to see that book again for a while, right? And so the first uh book that came to me was through a friend, uh actually it was my sister-in-law, gave me The Secret, actually, was the first uh new age spiritual book that ever came to me. And I don't know how long ago that was, maybe it was 20, 25 years ago. And uh nope, not that long ago. I have a 17-year-old son. It was before I was with him, was pregnant with him. So maybe like 18, 19 years ago. And uh I was like, man, I know this shit. Like there's something in there that points to the truth beyond what you know people are taken of trying to use it to get something in the world. Even even trying to use it to get something in the world, though, is still going in the right direction. It's still inching in the right direction, you know, and it and at that point in myself, that was something that spoke to me because I felt like what was gonna make me happier, I thought what was gonna make me happier was more money, being easier to have money, making it easier to have money because that's what I associated with abundance. So that opened the door for me. So definitely there is a lot of truth in it. It's just that we don't know what we want. And if you read between the lines, even the secret is saying something like that. You know, they're saying to feel what it is that you think you want because it's in the feeling, it's in your allowing yourself to have the feeling right now that feels good to you. You're allowing good to come to you, things that you deem as good, right? But you're thinking, okay, you need money. You're thinking you need money. But really, what you want is that sense of peace and comfort that you think is gonna have from having the money. That's what's available right now, and that's what truly the secret, Abraham Hicks, all those guys, they're leading toward getting you to recognize this is an emotional journey, and you want to be in that sense of having what you think you want right now. They say that all the time. It's just that their followers don't really see past because you know, you're you're looking. From a separate ego state of mind. And it's like, oh, I should do this because it's going to get me. Okay. But underneath it, it's really going to get me what I think I want. It's like, maybe not. So it occurred to me after I started practicing some of the some of the methods through a secret and other things like that. I don't need to own anything. I was just out on a walk one day, walking around my neighborhood, and I was, I had a practice of something I learned from uh channeling psychic people uh was appreciate whatever it is that you like. So I was like, you know what? I really like plants. I don't like doing gardening. You won't find me doing any gardening. But I really like plants. I just like to be in communion with plants. I like to be appreciating them. So the message was find something that you can appreciate. Oh, everywhere I look, I was in Orange County, California. They plant plants around there. They're in all the gardens, the people, people's yards. I just go for a walk and appreciating all the plants. And then it occurred to me, I don't need to own anything. It's not necessary for me to own anything. I could be perfectly fine with just using whatever it is that arises in my perception, just using whatever it is, you know, and uh to enjoy it, to bask in the beauty, right? So turns out many years later, when I go to leave my husband, you know, I had the thought and shared it with him. Oh, so what are we gonna do? Just like liquidate the business and then sell the house and split the proceeds. You know, that's usually what people do, apparently. That's it, that was the idea that came to my mind. And his face, he looked so fucking scared. And he said, How will I survive? And I'm like, What? No wonder we're that's it. That's where that's where it came really clear to me. I was like, no wonder I felt something like that. I felt pressure, I felt obligation. That's what it was. How will you survive? And I was like, okay, never mind. I'll just put the house in your name. It's just in your name. Keep going with the business. Just send me money whenever you feel inspired to send me money, right? And and now it's like noticing I don't have any properties in my name. I seem to be uh at a point in life where people usually think they need property in their name to have some kind of stability or something like that. Um, and it just feels really alive and free. And I don't feel like I need to. I've been stopping different places. I'm stopping here for a little while. I'm probably here for about six months. We'll see how that goes. But I've been stopping different places, and people ask, what are you looking for here? I'm like, nothing. I'm just here. Are you getting more followers for your Substack and online stuff? Maybe. Maybe I will. Uh that's not the reason why I'm here. I'm not looking for, I'm actually not looking for anything because I don't need to accumulate anything. I don't need to get anything in the world. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It was just called it was just called to me uh to be that that kind of free. The kind of free where I don't own anything. That means I don't I don't have anything to take care of except for what's right in front of me right now. Right? This is enough. This is someone else's house, apparently. Yeah, it's God's house. I would say it's God's house. Yes. The people who own it, Billy and Casey, they love to support wisdom dialogue, they love to support Hope Hope Johnson. That's a really sweet. Um, and I just look at, I notice where the doors are open for me to be and go there. And it just it just unfolds like that. And I keep on meeting people who are really open to truth, deep spiritual people everywhere I go. Uh, there will be uh oftentimes just a few that'll be like, okay, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go all the way. I'm ready to go all the way deep. And I don't have to do anything specific for that. They just decide and boom. It's like uh, you know, go into the the time where learning has ended. You know, you may still seem to learn things, but go into uh that time of learning has ended. I know how to forgive. Forgiveness is my function. That's all. All the other things, they could just be revealed to me in the moment. I just see past any illusions that are made about myself, the illusion of regret, for instance. Uh, the illusion of caring what other people think. It's so fun too, and I'm talking to my friend. It's what other people think all the time. It's what other people think. What would people think of me if they knew I was chasing some dude that didn't even give me the time of day while my dad was calling to me and I wasn't coming. I was I stayed with him. Right? When you when you notice all those thoughts are just meaningless, none of them affect you. It's like you've entered this, it's almost like you've entered a different phase. It's a time of just undoing, everything just undoing, because you already know that it's forgiven. You already know that these things don't mean anything. I told my friend who was talking about the regret for having not, I go, great, that's a great awareness. That's what you want to know. So this has been a pattern with you chasing dudes probably for many lifetimes. And now you get to see, oh, that it actually hurts. Okay, I recognize that pattern, I recognize that tone, I recognize that way of relating. You know what? I love you. I'm not gonna do that dynamic with you, and then and you don't even have to say that to a person. You just stop chasing in your mind. The saying, the speaking, that all arises spontaneously. You just stop chasing, stop believing the thought that says you're gonna be okay if you talk to that person. That puts a lot of pressure on them and they can feel it and they don't like it. All right. That was from a while back. I love you too. Thank you, Alexia. Yeah, I don't always read these in real time. It's you on the other side of the door. Thank you, Glenn. Yes, it's always you on the other side of the door. Ah, okay. A course why you don't need miracles. Okay, yeah, I love it. That is the miracle, you could say. Recognizing you don't even need a miracle. How about that? Uh, you know, you still are recognizing that there's something that seems to be there, right? So you're recognizing something that seems to be there and you don't want it. That's good. It's not something to push away. That's good. I'm recognizing that I don't want it. That's great. I'm seeing how to see how to see through it. That's being a happy learner. That's gonna help you see it faster. That's gonna help you undo the thoughts that hold you to something you don't like faster. And and you know, another question was aren't I here to experience the whole spectrum, the good and the bad? Yes, so that you can sort out what you want to keep and what you don't. Because in reality, you don't have anything that would be good or bad because it's just all ecstatic bliss, it's all eternal creations, it's not things that arise and pass away. Things that arise and pass away are in the illusion that is going to pass away. Illusions are going to pass away. So things that arise in illusions, even those, you're sorting out what you will keep and what you will let pass away for good. And when you'll only keep the good, what's deemed good by you, you won't be seeing an illusory world anymore. It won't be necessary for you. The whole purpose of it is to give you time to see with clarity, to see yourself, to see your innocence, your holiness, and that you share with all of God's creation, especially your brothers and sisters. They're meant to be triggering you so that you can see what's really triggering. It's a thought that you haven't been watching. Yeah. Okay, so let's see what else we have here. Everything is a story. Thank God. Yes, and you are God. So thank you. Aloha, aloha, kalama. I love you. A maturity in that recognition. Okay, I don't know what recognition that is, but I believe you. That's right. That's right. Because I'm totally fine with it. So if someone is not fine with it, then that's an opportunity for them. If I perceive them not fine with it, that's an opportunity for me too. Yay. What do I do with something like that when it seems like someone's not fine with it? Let's get peace around it. Because there's this idea, someone's not fine with how you present yourself. Someone's not fine with something you said. Someone, I I thought it was the funniest thing. Someone, another man, was not fine with me talking about a man putting his penis on me. I was like, that's because you want to have you want to put your penis on people and not have them say something. You know, I know I'm making the story up. The story's funny to me. I'm having a hug with the person, and I I'm like, that is obviously a penis right there. That is obviously going on. And it's like, how could you that's a nice man? And it's like, it's not about the man, it's my per it's my perception, it's my interpretation. Other people hugging, they don't get penis, especially dudes. Right? Especially guys, they don't get that, right? And then and then people will be so quick to judge him, right? Like he shouldn't, and and also he shouldn't get he shouldn't get any. He shouldn't get any of the goods because he just tries to take it, get all horny like that, give someone a hug and be all, yeah.

unknown: 1:11:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:23

So uh so I'm relating with people the uh the perceptions that arise for me. I'm not trying to call anyone out or anything like that. Um I'm relating like that. And if you're relating with me, you might hear your story on here. And you know, everyone knew who he was because I was staying with him. He was one of my hosts. How could you talk to that way about him after he did that for you? It's like, man, this is the story, though. Right, right? You know, people are like, oh my god, how how rude. He invites you over, do your spiritual work, in his apartment, and then he puts his penis on you. How rude. And I'm like, no, that's me. I'm the verb. So this is going on, and I'm going, okay, I'm the verb. He's not really doing anything to me. So I'm just breathing and I'm noticing. I know I can put boundaries up anytime, like spoken as at any time, but I don't want to. I want to have this experience, I want to see what this is like, right? And also watch the thoughts that are coming by. One of the most uh prevalent is he should not get what he wants. I'm like, oh, interesting. Right? And it's not like you have to prove that thought wrong or anything like that. It's like it's just the thought. It's not like, oh, I better have sex with him so I can prove that this thing is wrong. No, you're just recognizing that the thought itself is a meaningless thought, it's meant to cause separation. Of course, he should have what he wants, of course he should be uh in his perfect happiness, in bliss, in peace, however, that looks to him, right? And it's recognizing the reason that there's this dynamic coming up is I'm calling it in. I'm calling that dynamic in. Why? Not to judge me or to punish me or anything like that, because I can see through it, I can see that it's a it's telling meaningless stories about this person, and also when I'm talking about it, I'm going, oh, you know, after the fact, there's a big uh reflection like something really went wrong. And it's like, oh, so you feel judged by what I just shared on wisdom dialogues. Well, yeah, I do. Okay, so that can only be coming from you. It's not coming from me at all. I don't have any judgment about it. I think you can see by the way I was talking about it, by the way I was discussing what it what what thoughts we can see through here, and also how you can read the energy. You can like take my reflection too and go, shit, that's how it is. Putting that was a the big problem was I said putting his penis on me, and he's like, that makes me look really bad. Can it can you say it another way? And I'm like, no, because that's exactly the way I fucking perceive it. I'm not changing that. This is the perception. We're not talking about spiritual bypassing and saying that the perception isn't occurring, right? No, this is this is exactly the way it seems to me. This is not a reflection on you, but this is the way exactly I could feel a shape of a penis on me. It seems I didn't put it on myself, it doesn't seem I didn't pull you in and put it there. So for my friend with the penis, he just needed to see that he's completely innocent in all of this. He's completely innocent in all of this. And look at when he sees that he's innocent in all of this, then he can see what is it that he's looking for. He's actually looking for joining. Sexual energy seems to be uh the substitute for joining. It gets used as a substitute. You may be joining at first, and then you start having sexual energy together, and then you're not really joining anymore. All of a sudden it becomes this utility thing, and that's not because sex is wrong, it's because of the way it's looked at. It becomes seen as a means to getting something that you want instead of just an expression. Just an expression. You know, anything that you seem to do with anyone eating a sandwich or having sex, uh anything and anything in between can be done with love. Right? It'd be done with uh with perfect love is not attached, it's not attached to any outcomes when it's done with attachment and self-image, there's always pain coming around. Right? So it's recognizing in myself, oh my gosh, I saw some things that I wouldn't be able to see with my husband because I just don't get brought up like that, you know, abandonment, rejection, seemingly from God to me. So a relationship like this is an opportunity to see that that is something I made and not really the truth, and then return back to being held without any separation from God, as God. All of these things, whether it's that kind of relationship or a different kind of thing that seems to arise in the field, all of these things are given us as the perfect means for seeing the truth, as the perfect means for being in that peace and ecstasy that needs nothing. It doesn't need another person. It also doesn't fantasize. That's another thing uh to look at that goes on with these relationships. And when we believe that we need to hear from a person in order to feel okay, in order to feel at ease and at peace, that's the result of having fantasized that somehow that person's presence does something for you. So when it comes to fantasy, and this is the thing about the sex toys too, and any kind of masturbation or anything like that, uh you don't need any fantasy. And fantasy, Jesus talks about, especially sexual fantasy, actually hurts your mind because it tries to relate without relating, without really relating. It tries to relate without relating. So it's not saying that it's bad or wrong, but actually that it hurts your mind, it hurts your relating. So this is how it looks. You know, there may be a thought of a fantasy coming up. Don't get scared about it or anything. It's okay. It's just recognizing where it leads is not where you want to go in any of your relationships. And that doesn't mean you can't have the sensation. You can have good, pleasurable sensations even deeper than you get with fantasy-driven sensations. See, when you're just looking at the sensations, uh, Natalie brought up, and it was kind of been percolating in me. She brought it up last week, uh, about how in sex and even with masturbation and especially tip sex toys, she can feel the mechanicalness of it. And it feels, it starts to feel mechanical. And it's like this interesting thing like, well, how do how do I ever get pleasure from this, anyways? And how do people even get pleasure from it? Well, it's a it's insightful because all pleasure, it's projected from our mind. It's not from the thing, it's not coming from the person, it's not coming from the particular thing that you seem to be using or anything like that. It's always coming from your mind. So, how do you get out of that having a perception of this just a repetitive mechanical thing that's not doing anything for you? Again, get out of that thought, get out of the mind and go solely into sensation. You don't have to put your attention just right there where the thing seems. To be taking place. But let yourself go into your feeling body, emotional body, and be with that, allowing the peace and the joy that you are to come into the experience and make it fulfilling instead of trying to get fulfillment from the objects in the experience. That's just the difference in looking at it. You know, you're just looking at it in a different way. So your fulfillment is coming from the joy and the peace that you're allowing for yourself right now, even to be in any kind of uh relating that you seem to be in, and that you're bringing the pleasure to the experience. That's really a lot what allows you to seemingly get the pleasure from the experience. And ongoing, it always gets better. You're able to uh kind of like get more juice out of every experience because you're knowing that that comes from you and not from an object in the experience. You could look at it this way: you are the experience, like everything that you're getting a perception of, all the subtleties, everything that is you. It's like a beautiful unfolding or flowering the whole experience. And when it's perceived like this, anything that comes up to be monotonous or anything like that in the field, whether it's uh with a sex toy or something else, um, it just gets used for going deeper into the truth, letting yourself be deeper into that relationship, the union with the one that you are. You are that God, that creator that created an individualized self to relate with it. You are that. So there's there's no real separation between you and the creator, just that's which what is made up. And it's all playing out in the unconscious mind, it's manifesting through your relationships. So it's not to make you wrong or punish you, it's to notice which relationships are actually reflecting the light that you are and which are giving you an opportunity to say no thank you to a per particular dynamic. And when I read from these women, you know, they seem a little bit angry to me. They seem a little bit on the angry side to me, right? And you know, they're spiritually minded women. They're definitely spiritually minded women. They just seem to be a little bit more on the angry side. Like, hey, you guys, you know what, we're gonna punish you by not giving you any pussy. We're not, you know, we're done. We're done with you guys. They keep on saying that, but then they roll around and they get hopeful again that someone's gonna not be that guy that's been a dick all the time. You know, my mom told me when I was young, and then and I believed it too, and this is probably why I manifested someone with 30 years uh, you know, to be such a kind, loyal and all that kind of stuff that everyone's looking for in a man kind of guy, is because my mom told me, she said, hope, fuck him and leave him. Do not stay in a relationship longer than three months. By that point, the honeymoon is over and they turn into a dick. And I was like, okay, good to know. I'll follow that. So here I am with the guy who's a who's gonna be my husband. I don't know he's gonna be my husband. I'm still on the three-month thing. Or just show me when you're being a dick and you're out of here. You know, so it goes on past three months. The first three months were a little bit rocky. I kept on dumping him and he kept on coming back, you know, uh, and and coming back in a big way, like showing up in a really big way. Uh and yeah, and then after that, it was just like it was it was really smooth. But uh, you know, for the first 20 years, I was just kind of like, yeah, just show me wherever you're gonna be a dick and I'm fucking out of here. And then after a while, start getting comfortable in it, like, oh no, he's never gonna, he's never gonna do that. Now you got a whole new set of challenges. You got this, you got the most amazing dude. It's like you hit the lotto getting this guy, right? Everyone loves him. My mom is like, how could you? I just love I'm like, I love him too. You know, but I gotta be true to what's being called of me right now, what's being asked of me right now, and it's not that right now, you know. Uh so being in that way where I wasn't gripping to anything, it's even, you know, attractive to a guy like him. You might you might call that like, you know, people might call that like a quality partner, a quality companion. They want to be there for you, you know. Uh, and I didn't never, I never saw an example of that growing up. You know, never did. But but hearing my mom telling me that, I'm like, oh yeah, even my friends thought I would never settle down with anyone. I was too free. I was way too free. I was just like, oh yeah, that's a that that's over, right? But uh, but being that free, it actually it's it's like it resonates for someone who also feels really free within themselves to the point where they don't need like other women, for instance, uh, to boost their confidence. They don't need them coming around complimenting them. I would watch him when women would try to come around complimenting it just the way he would be in a in a relationship like that. It was like he was not movable. He was it's like really stable and not in like a mind not going, not seeking, uh, that kind of stuff. So having experienced something that, you know, was kind of like from my past, more recently, I'm like, yay, because now I can actually undo this stuff. I could actually see things in the light of truth, not attach labels to persons, uh, because that just makes it come around again, right? And actually help release this whole pattern for everyone. We actually release when we're releasing things through through miracle-mindedness, we're actually releasing whole patterns for everyone, including those women that seem like they're angry, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:26:38

Yeah, we're in uh Mexico, we're on the phone. We're picking up a bunch of chips, and so the community down there is like being like, oh, yoga community, you got all these young chicks. Everyone's got a lot of time on their hands because it's so cheap to live down there. So everyone's just like free-floating and living the high life with their trust, their trust funds from their parents. Uh-huh. What's that gonna do with your time? Take courses, uh courses, take counter courses, personal growth, ecstatic dance, you name it. And so we get on this van, and so we're hearing the talk of like a group of girls get together, and and this is what they do is they find one dude who's the perv in these communities. And they're like, Oh my god, he totally, he's like making himself out to be this Tantra master guy, beware. And so they're all just like, oh my god, he's like the shark, and spread through the community, like, don't take any classes with him. He's gonna like you know, he's just out to get in your pants, and all of a sudden, I'm listening to this stuff. I'm like, oh my god, like knowing it's coming from my mind. Yes. Um and so what happens is like then one girl's like, oh well, well, I did kind of sleep with him, and I, you know, I thought you know, they're like, they can't help it. You know, it's like everyone's like playing these dynamics out. Um and so what my hope and so I'm listening to it and I'm just like, okay, there's so much like what's really going on if these women were being willing to wake up and see that it's actually perfect, they're getting way more value than they're thinking, if they can suddenly wake up and see that the this guy is playing his role perfectly.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:35

Yes, he's scripted. He's scripted for everyone.

SPEAKER_02: 1:28:39

Way more value than they think they're getting from these courses, that they could like wake up and see that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:44

Yeah, use the courses, yeah. Use the courses for seeing if they're teaching that in those courses, for seeing how they're making this and not to try to condemn or make themselves wrong or anything like that. Forgiveness is really simple. You're just recognizing what you think is happening or what you thought happened didn't happen. Yeah, see, that's what opens the way for miracles. That's what opens the way so we could see truly. It's like, I thought that guy put his penis on me, for instance. It didn't really happen. And that's what I was relating. It didn't really happen. You know, it's it's a it's a manifestation that we play into together to make it so that we can have something to work with, something to see through, something so that we could be back to joining with one another.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:39

Yeah, I wasn't like ever guided restroom.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:42

Go down to that one that has a working toilet right now.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29:46

Yeah, yeah, I wasn't I feel like I didn't feel done until I feel like she can see something. But I was just like, okay, yeah, I know that it's like I can see through the pattern, just hearing them say it. Yes, and so I was just like, okay, I'm just gonna like work this pattern, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:30:06

Yes, and that is the thing. That is, you know, the mind will go to what those women could be doing, but you're also witnessing this, and when you're witnessing it as a pattern, you're seeing it as a pattern and not as a reality, you can forgive it right there. You recognize what you're thinking is happening isn't really happening, it's actually scripts being played out so you can see it and so that you can apply forgiveness. What I thought happened didn't happen. That's what's going on. The unconscious mind is constantly putting out scenarios. So forgiveness allows us to constantly see past those scenarios and those dynamics as something to be forgiven, and that's all. So our part in it and the part we play in it uh gets to be known just kind of as a matter of course. We just get to see it. It's like, okay, all right. Yeah, I did tell that guy was good in bed. Hmm. How did this happen?

SPEAKER_02: 1:31:20

Right. It's all easy. So like, how can I make myself look the sexiest as possible? Then demonize the man.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31:34

Right. It's like, oh yeah, yeah. It's like it's like, oh yeah, thank you. Okay, look a little, but not too much. Right? Don't go too far. So it makes it really easy for us to express boundaries too, uh, knowing that it's all coming from us. It makes it really simple. You know, it's like, and when you're not expressing boundaries, just be watching. You're only you're not expressing boundaries because you're watching something. Just look at it like that. I'm watching something right now. Don't look at it as I'm weak. Where are my boundaries? All that kind of bullshit. Forget about that. That'll just make you repeat that same thing over and over again. I'm watching where my boundaries are right now. I'm watching with Christ right now, right? You want to watch everything with Christ's eyes. So you're just it, you're just being aware and alert and you're noticing. You know, with my friend, it was like noticing these thoughts that wanted to condemn him and make it so he doesn't get to have what he thinks he wants. It's like, no, that thought is not meaningful. You could be released from that. It's okay, right? He's he's expressing something that's in the unconscious mind, and the expression is coming up like that. You know, I could just say, hey, if you don't want me to talk, and I did. If you don't want me to talk about you putting your penis on me and wisdom dialogue, really simple, don't put your penis on me. And the other guy, I told him, man, I go, you think you're gonna come and hang out with me? Uh everything's uh everything just flies right out of my mouth, though. I don't have a filter. You can't be coming to hang out with me thinking that I'm I'm gonna treat you different than I have for everyone for all these years. And you've been listening. It's just it's this idea, and this is the thing with the molester vibe, too, and the perv vibe. It's thinking it's just gonna be quiet, it's gonna be kept quiet, and that's how it's always been. You know, my mom told me to just be quiet. She said, just be quiet about it. Don't don't go around, don't be telling people that. That's not a good thing to tell people. They're gonna look at you different. I'm like, something's wrong with this. Something's wrong with this picture. Right now, right now, in fact, my uh my niece is living with my mom, my sister's daughter, because apparently the dude that my sister is with was trying to get with the daughter. So my niece is living over there under the condition, shh, be quiet. And and my mom told me that, and I just like crack, I go, mom, you realize that's the exact same thing you did with me. I'm like laughing too. Realize that's the exact same thing you did with me, and you know, her eyes got kind of big. I know, she goes, I know, but it would just devastate your sister. I go, that's the same kind of story you told me about devastation. Something, someone's not gonna be able to handle it if it comes out. This is what keeps it proliferating, too. We're not talking about spiritual bypassing stuff, right? We're talking about looking at it as uh with Christ's vision that's also taking care of this is the dynamic that seems to be playing out. Hey, this is the this is it. You you as a child, especially anyone really talk about it all you want. And if you're practicing a course in miracles, bring it to the truth too. But it starts with actually acknowledging it. It's just gonna stay in the unconscious mind and keep on festering over generations and generations and generations. You know, a lot of the times people don't get what this the Course in Miracles is talking about. It is ultimate oneness, it's not spiritual bypassing. Jesus is talking about looking on illusion to see that it's illusion, not to be wallowing in it, not to be trying to find out where it originated in time earlier in this lifetime when you were a child or something like that. No, didn't come from that, it comes from the thought of separation being taken as true, and that's only always happening now. It's not on the timeline somewhere, right? So it's a matter of seeing it and seeing that and and seeing past it. There's no seeing past it without looking on it first. So that's why it was great when I was uh a young girl, maybe I was like 17 or something like that. And I was like, fuck it, I'm telling everyone the story. Anyone who wants to listen, stranger on a plane. Guys probably like, what the fuck did I get myself into? I can tell he's looking at me like, damn, really. This just has to get out right now. Thank you for listening. But it really helped because uh for years, you know, just me saying it out loud and then feeling it and feeling all the anger that came up and the murderous rage that arose from within me. That's what's actually giving me stuff to forgive. I'm actually seeing the murderous rage. It's like, oh, that's why. Because the murderous rage isn't because I was molested as a child. It's not because of that. It's not because I was thrown on my head as a child, let's say. Uh it's it's from the thought of separation. These memories are being projected right now. They don't have to keep on going forward. This is what I mean by uh separating what you would keep from what you would let pass away. So it's like I still keep all of the love that we shared together. Me and my stepdad, I'm talking about, uh, that's what's sweet. That's what I keep. And even all of my relationships, everything like that. I don't keep all the painful parts, right? It's like the painful parts, the pain that arose, arose out of fear. And that fear isn't present now. That's why I don't have to keep any painful parts. That's why there's no murderous rage in reaction to that anymore. It's just a story that's benign and only the love remains. It's been demonstrated that only the love remains. So this is truly like how it comes into practice. What a Course in Miracles is saying at the very front of the book: nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God. So being able to see the great rays, even when it seems like there's something that's been terrible, terrible, something terrible has been done, right? And nothing really happened. That's what I related to him too. Uh, I said nothing really happened. It was just uh it was just fear being made manifest, and it plays through bodies like that. Nothing really happened. You didn't really do anything. Boy, was he relieved about that? Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:38:57

One of our craziest thoughts of the ego is that we betrayed God and chose this ego evolution. Therefore, betrayed in a huge idea in our mind that someone has betrayed us because we think we betrayed the word very strong. We think we betrayed our God and chose this evil evolution. Yes, and I've worked on a huge amount with people in the clearing of that word betrayed.

SPEAKER_00: 1:39:26

Beautiful. Yes, like that never happened. Yeah, yeah, it hasn't happened. The the separate world that we perceive is imagined. So it happened, it hasn't really happened. We haven't done a betrayal, we haven't been abandoned, we haven't been rejected by God. This is just a story that arose after creation. You know, after after perceiving ourselves as individualized, taking that as being separated. We're not separated, we didn't change. choose this world. You can say, uh, you can say it's a choice uh made under duress, that's why. You know, in a court, uh, you know, if if if a choice was made under duress, it wasn't a real choice. And that's the thing about this world. It's a choice, but it's a choice under extreme fear about something that did not occur, right? And irrespective of whether the choice was made, we do seem to see it. We do seem to see a separate world with bodies that seem to be on trajectories. So it's giving us constant opportunities to see past it. That's the joy and that's the blessing in it. So I asked my friend is it light that your uh dad passed away? Is that is that light to you? Can you laugh about it? Can you laugh at the silliness? Can you laugh at the silliness of him being at one time uh strong and able-bodied and uh a nice muscular and now he he went into the shrively way and passed away can you laugh at that yet? No, not right now. And it's like okay that's okay but it is funny. He hasn't gone anywhere. And as strong as you saw him that was nothing compared to how he actually is the strength that he actually is. So our mind gets changed so we can see these things in a comical way a comical way. Jesus talks about how this world will end in laughter because it began in misery and we forgot to laugh. And we forgot to laugh that's right here we forgot to laugh yep and look at how silly it looks that these these bodies going on this trajectory. Look at how ridiculous it how ridiculous it is it doesn't speak to anything true. You know it's funny we can play with it we can be light with it even bodies passing away the lighter we are with it and not taking it so seriously the more we're actually seeing through it that's what we're talking about keeping what is good. What is good is joy and laughter these illusions of someone apparently passing away losing their life that's ridiculous. It's laugh worthy that's why we have comedians making jokes about everything. I'm super grateful for that okay I have a message from Hope Hope be aloha hope. Oh by the way I think I'm in your calendar am I still in your calendar she's got a calendar coming out her name is hope her name is hope and she's a beekeeper and she does a calendar of naked women covered with honey every year and I think I'm in that oh yes I'm in it I'm in it this year. Naked covered in honey yes yeah all you have to do is buy her calendar me and 11 other women yes where do they find your calendar the let them know where to find it I don't know if she has an online place but let them know and I'll announce it here and this will go on the recording too hope. Yeah Money Fest is her festival no that's Hope Medford okay there's a there's there's several awesome ass hopes down there in Lower Pune there's at least four. Send me a private message on Facebook her name is Hope B. Is it Hope B what's your name on Facebook how they find you Anderson it's Hope Anderson uh we we get people looking for each of us look actually looking for the other person all the time I think I know it happens to me they'll be asking me for honey I'm like um wrong hope I'm hope Johnson she's hope anderson I know it's really close and we love each other there's that too we're both pretty awesome yes we are when you program on Sunday on Wednesday it will be three to five correct yes Wednesday I'm also going to be here from three to five I'm gonna be doing it's a different format I do a Course in Miracles deep dive where we go into the text uh usually I cover around uh six to eight sentences it has been only three in two hours before people to bring their book they can if they want I'm in the complete annotated edition it's it's fun if you bring your book you don't have to bring your book I go so slow uh really take apart those sentences and you know Jesus is using uh words as symbols to point to something and it's really fun for me to go into those and go okay what is he actually saying here a lot of the times I'll have all these insights too and along with my group too having all kinds of insights maybe something they didn't see before that's coming out in the text and going oh thank goodness that's actually what it means and not the interpretation I made uh on that day we'll have Wayne Powell here.

SPEAKER_01: 1:45:18

Okay. Uh because he's coming with Christina Arlen. And um then right after that at six o'clock we're gonna have that tremendous care time with the three harmoniums and the three players and a whole group at six to eight at Nancywum's house. So anybody it's this Wednesday and so if anybody's coming they can bring their sandwich with them so they can go to bowls or whatever they want to eat so they can do both.

SPEAKER_00: 1:45:45

How fun as you guys can see it is a party over here in Washington so uh I don't know if you want to come hang out with us we're over here I'm I'm situated in Cedro Woolley right here on the lake um yeah come for either Sundays or Wednesdays and apparently we do fun stuff afterwards too yay great night we're so excited about this particular care time uh Jonathan Hall's uh son Jaya is coming from Boulder Colorado to lead this one care time and he's one of the freestings I ever met in my life I can't wait for you to meet him I'm so excited he was he was raised in boundlessness I love it limitedness yes bring him on I'm so excited that's where we're going woo oh yeah all right all right you guys uh I'm gonna wrap it up now unless you have any questions ask me go ahead I want you to repeat your phone number because I have my phone under the contact because when I called you today it said it didn't exist okay so we'll do that after the recording is over yeah no problem I love you too thank you hope okay the last judgment is happening hooray yes the last judgment that's what we've been on we ended with the last judgment last week on ACIM deep dive you are the one who brings the last judgment basically last judgment is right now and it's a process too is what we learned last week in uh ACIM uh it's it's basically you're looking at all judgment and recognizing that it's not needed that's the last judgment you don't need any judgment that's the last judgment nothing here means anything and it's a process of undoing what you think you made which isn't even really here I love you too thank you Wayne thank you Christine thank you so much everyone uh thank you Cora all right go to hopejohnson.org that's where you can find all my free resources I also have one-to-ones that I offer there's a book on there uh Unschooling for Parents a Mystic's Guide to Awakening with children you don't need to have children though because the world is kind of like your child yay yay yay okay uh until next time Wednesday three to five Pacific and Sunday three to five Pacific Mahalo Aloha and a hooy hoo