Stop Trying to Fix | 2/22/26 | Wisdom Dialogues @ Lake Whatcom

You can feel unity and still hate what you’re feeling. That’s the tension we walk straight into, and then gently unwind, as we explore why the self-of-form you “made” is not bad, not broken, and not in the way. I talk with Natalie about the wanting self, repetitive thinking, and the reflex to bypass uncomfortable emotions, and we keep returning to one practical question: what changes when you stop resisting what’s here and let presence meet it?

From there we move into real-world spirituality: relationships that shift, feelings as directional signals, and how forgiveness looks when the topics are intense. We touch A Course in Miracles themes like guidance, synchronicity, and the dream of separation, including a playful but piercing take on Adam’s dream and what symbolism is actually for. The point isn’t to float above life with “nothing is real,” but to bring acceptance into the exact places you usually tense up, judge yourself, or look for someone to blame.

Then it gets surprisingly grounded and very human: online dating as a mirror for projection, “villains,” porn-conditioned performance, and the hunger to extract validation. We talk about intimacy, honest feedback, erectile dysfunction beliefs, and how “need” thinking drains life force. We also share a wellness approach built around deep relaxation, fascia release, and quiet self-care, plus why AI can help you translate triggers into clarity instead of conflict.

If you want a spiritual awakening conversation that stays practical, warm, and unfiltered, press play. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s hard on themselves, and leave a review with the line that hit you most.

Transcript

Welcome And Core Teaching

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Aloha and welcome to Wisdom Dialogues with Hope Johnson coming to you from Lake Whatcom, outside of Bellingham in Washington. Yay! Yes, I'm so happy to be with all of you. Thank you so much for joining. So here's the thing that has been made very, very clear through uh throughout these past few weeks, especially. Is that the self that you made is not wrong, it's not bad. When it's not being accepted, it's not allowed to express the truth, the truth which is unity, unity in God, united in God. See, because that's expressed not directly through the actions or the language or anything like that, it's expressed through uh like a vibration, an energetic frequency that comes from acceptance of your self-of-form, the self that you made. See, there seems to be this constant wanting something, wanting something to be different, wanting some kind of change in circumstances, wanting a change in the world, wanting to change your appearance. That there's that constant wanting, that's something that's not to be ignored, and also not to be taken as if it uh defines you. See, so that sense of a wanting self. There there seems to be a tendency to bypass that wanting self. And you know, when it's bypassed, it's really repressed, and it comes out as you could say, moods, uh feeling trapped in repetitive thinking. See, uh you know, I could say this for myself: when there's repetitive thinking arising in my perception, I don't mind. See, it's not a matter of trying to stop it, I can't stop it, but I can be present to it and let it be seen in the light of presence, and that way I could actually recognize what it is I'm believing about myself that makes that feeling arise. See, it's kind of like you can't get to the root of it while you're chasing the symbol itself, see, by either trying to get rid of it or fix it or something, right? Or trying to ignore it, or trying to stop it, it's just kind of like oh I can relax with this because I am that space, and you are that space of total relaxation. You know, the only reason you don't free fall right into that complete relaxation is fear of that much release. Natalie was bringing up fear of releasing the world. Look at how that looks in the practical sense. Notice how that looks in the practical sense. That's release from anything that seems to be agitating for you, right? Uh and and in this way, you're not trying to get rid of the agitation. The agitation can be there, and you're released from it. You're not making yourself wrong for it, you're not doubting yourself because of it. This is a full acceptance of however you seem to feel, and you know, people, of course, reflect our mind. So of course, there's gonna be people that reflect non-acceptance of the self-affirm that you made. Don't let their non-acceptance uh tempt you to stop accepting. You know, it's like you accept their self that they made too, that seems to be non-accepting. That's what helps everyone, because then they can see too that the non-acceptance doesn't mean anything. When you're not looking to the field, the first place, uh, the first place we look to the field is to the feeling aspect, even without knowing it. Resisting feelings instead of just inviting presence within that upset feeling, letting it be like a catalyst, letting it be used, not taking the symbol for the reality. The symbols are not reality, there isn't anything here, and that's including feelings.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Feelings are signals, they're directional.

Hard Topics And Natural Consequences

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Like say you're in a relationship with someone, and say they reflect to you something that you don't like. Maybe it's dismissiveness, maybe it's lack of integrity, or something like that. It's directional, it may mean that the relationship is shifting, it's signal. See, the relationship may be shifting, it's kind of like, oh, I'm noticing some movement. It's not a problem, it's not problematic at all. Oh, I know I'm noticing some movement. The movement might be deeper compassion, the movement might be uh some clear communications, it might be might be boundaries, like we don't know, it's all for fun. And there's not particular things in the field that are just automatically off limits because no one's guilty. You know, one of the common questions that people ask uh who want to learn about a course in miracles and this way of seeing, one common question is well, what about rape and murder and all those kinds of things? Uh, hurting children, apparently that's something that's uh in the field right now, this idea of hurting children. And who knows, that may be something, maybe they've got they've got something there as far as relative reality. And and and here's the thing, when it comes to stuff like that, it's not a matter of just going to okay, but nothing's real. Yeah, that's true. Nothing's real. And at the same time, if anyone needs to be sub uh be restrained in any way or whatever needs to arise as a natural consequence of not of actions, not of actions, of forgetfulness. There are natural consequences of for forgetfulness because it's a guilty forgetting. That's all it is. It's self-doubt, and that demands punishment. That's just how it goes, and it's you know, it's like the perception is punishment. That doesn't mean I'm saying anyone should punish anyone either, and of course, you know, it's God's will, and therefore it's my will and your will that no one has to suffer any consequences of anything they even thought. So that's something because when we hear a story about evil pedophiles eating babies and sacrificing and all that kind of stuff, and you notice, you know, you notice the feeling reaction, because even to hear me say that, for instance, you're already vibrating to the frequency. That's what's beautiful. So you hold that frequency within the space of truth, within your awareness of perfect unity. You know, don't use perfect unity to push the feeling away. It's all feeling, everything's feeling, and ultimately everyone is going to see that they've never separated, they've never left the kingdom of God. That's not possible. It's not like you're locked in there like a prisoner, it's just that it is you, it's who you are.

Adam’s Dream And Wordplay

SPEAKER_00 11:57

You can't leave, you can only dream of leaving.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

I was talking with a young man last night, and he was relating to me about the Garden of Eden, and he was saying how God made separation out of Adam's rib, took Adam's rib and made Eve. So he was saying how God created the separation by doing that, and I go, okay, he has read right up to that point. And I said, Did you notice the part where it said Adam fell asleep? And he goes, Yeah, I did see that. And I go, Okay, it never says anywhere in the Bible where he woke up. The whole thing is his dream. And he's like, Are you saying that all those guys who wrote the Bible or the Bible was written in a dream? And I go, the whole thing is up to now, up to us having this conversation right now, it's all part of Adam's dream. And then he goes, Well, that seems to put a lot of importance on Adam. And I go, it's all Adam.

SPEAKER_03 13:23

Madame, I'm Adam. Yep. It reads the same.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Wow. Madame, that's good. That's a good one. Madame. That says Adam right in there. Hmm, I just noticed that. Thank you, Natalie.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

I'm siblings.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

I'm Adam.

SPEAKER_03 13:49

Madame, I'm Adam.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Oh my goodness. Wow, that's fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

You know, mean by the word plays, all that kind of stuff.

Guidance, Now, And World Distraction

SPEAKER_01 13:58

And then he goes, Well, who is Adam? And I go, Adam is the son of God. This guy's a Christian, right? Or Catholic. It's Catholic, yeah. And then he goes, he goes, Well, who's Jesus then? Isn't he the son of God? I go, Yeah. He was like, Whoa, I have never thought of it that way. I just have to process that later. I'm really glad about that point of view. I'm really glad about that because Adam Boom dropped. Oh, okay. Interesting. Adam boom. Yeah, that's funny. Oh my gosh. That's another one. That it's called the atom bomb. Everything's symbolic. When you start seeing it, you see all the synchronicity. And the synchronicities, they're not so you can get what you want in the field or anything. I mean, that comes as a matter of course when you're listening. The synchronicities are to show you that you're dreaming. See that? They're to show you that you're dreaming. You know, dreaming is obvious when you're willing to see that you are dreaming. It becomes obvious. It's like, oh, of course. Look at that. How can that be random? And I love that the Catholic dude that was waking up. He's actually waking up to Catholicism from being kind of agnostic, waking up to Catholicism. He said, I don't know. It just gives me comfort when I go and have their um their rituals. I guess they're called rituals or rites, maybe. I don't know. They have some kind of ceremony that they do. Eucharist, okay. Yeah, they have some kind of ceremonies that they do and it gives them comfort. I'm like, that's perfect for you. You don't have to question whatever it is that you're on, you know, because I was talking to him about ACIM. You don't have to question whatever it is that you're on. It comes to trusting that that's the right one. That's how you can hear guidance. It's like you resign as your teacher, even for um setting up the lesson plan, right? You leave the lesson plan to the spirit, you know, and that is uh one way of saying it, your higher self, anyways. But from the self-of-form that you made that seems to be making decisions about what you seem to be doing in the world and what lesson plan is perfect for you. That one doesn't know. So when you accept that it doesn't know, it's like the mind's not going out to try to make a lesson plan, but it's getting the message now. There's only now, and society is totally set up to get us out of the now. It's always like something urgent is going on. You know, on Wednesday, when one of my friends came over, he was just like super turned on emotionally about whatever Trump is doing. Uh, it's like, this is it, this is it, this is the thing, this is the one. Like, you know, it's like the question, when is it gonna hit? You know, it reminds me of uh the lava flow of 2014 when it was just flowing really, really slow toward town. All the news reporters were there and everything. They're interviewing us and kind of like asking us about living in this town where lava's blowing down to it.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

Where was it heading toward the water treatment plant or something?

SPEAKER_01 18:13

No, it was headed toward Pahoa, right down the middle of it.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

It's something major and power, right? Wasn't it? Yeah, it was facility.

Dating Apps And Extractive Energy

SPEAKER_01 18:21

It went towards the dump and yeah, it didn't wipe too much out. But you know, my son was like, when is it gonna hit? Because there was just all this emotional upheaval. He got tired of the emotional upheaval. Like, when is it actually gonna hit so we can get over this? Right, it's like the you could say the world is meant to keep us distracted, and especially it was especially interesting too, because um, you know, I noticed this astrological chat chatter about this new moon eclipse that we just had, and I noticed some astrological chatter about that being an intense time, uh, as far as the cosmos go for receiving information that you wouldn't normally be receptive to. So it also, and then it also coincided with oh my god, Trump did some really big thing, it's gonna change everything now so that people are distracted. It's interesting how those things coincide. It's like here's an opportunity to be still and calm and listen, and then here's a bunch of chaos, right? And it's like you don't have to try not to hear the shit. That's not what it is. You're not being asked to avoid the world, you know, you're you're being asked to sort of like integrate this stuff. Most people who have awareness of unity also do not have this coinciding acceptance of the world, the self that we made basically is projecting this world that we seem to perceive. We're not really capable of perceiving, that's why I put it that way. It's like a dream of perceiving, it really does require a lot of layers for us to have this experience. It takes a lot of layers to make it seem like we can be separate to make it seem like there's a world out there where people are doing heinous things, people are doing stupid things, people are not spiritually awake. Right? I can attest to that. I finally left my profile on a dating app, I left it there for two days. Had quite a few conversations in that time, and you know, it's like the level, the general level of consciousness seems to be like a low frequency, like confused and dull. Uh, and uh what else?

SPEAKER_03 21:58

Extractive. These energies were extractive.

Villains, Trauma, And Repeating Symbols

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Uh-huh. Very extractive. Yes, that's right. That's what I noticed too. And I had a really nice conversation with a young man who, you know, was talking about sex and he was having a hard time uh performing. You know, uh, and then there's all this fantasy and masturbation going on. You know, the porn culture taught us to uh have all these fantasies and have uh and do masturbating a bunch. And you know, it's just it weakens the energy field because it's not because of the actions themselves, but it's because of this extractive. That's a really good word for it, energy, trying to extract from the moment and to instead of express in in the moment and extend in the moment, you know, expressing love, sharing love. It's like it's not like people are bad for not wanting to do it, they just don't know how, they don't get it yet. And they don't seem to be at uh uh at a like a cognitive level. It even seems like a cognitive level to understand it anytime soon. Right. Uh definitely have had some conversations so that have kind of like you know uh shined a shined a light in the mind. I know it's like seeds being planted. Whatever I find myself doing, I know that's perfect. When I find myself interacting with people, anything like that. It's also comical, too. It's really comical. I was talking with a guy who was 25 today, 25 years old apparently, and he said, So you like younger men? And I like, I was like, you know what? I'm interested in men who can move their hips. Okay. I mean guys like half my age, their hips are already not working. What the fuck? I'm trying to get some dance on. I don't care what age you are. And by the way, if your hips aren't moving well in dance, they are not moving well other places either. It's just all purely comical.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

This word um villain kind of was coming up for me too, and I was like, Oh, I'm afraid of seeing a healed world. I'm afraid of not having any villains to blame.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

You're afraid of not having any villains to blame. Yeah, that's that's a good noticing.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Yeah, the word villain was really right for me the past couple days.

Falling In Love Without Losing Yourself

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Yeah, so now see where you're placing villains, sometimes very subtly. Yeah, right? That person didn't follow some expectation that I had, you know. Sometimes it's very subtly where you you go, oh, I've made a villain. Yeah, I've seen Tony uh work some major miracles with that in that regard, you know, the sense of seeing villains. Because just to tell his story a little bit, when we were first getting together, which was like 30 some years ago, he found out because I spilled the beans to him, uh, that I was molested by my stepdad and and fucked up and stuff like that. And I told him stories about things that I seem to remember and everything like that. And at that point, I believed that this stuff was very real, right? And so Tony saw a major villain in him, and he took it all the way. Well, he didn't kill him, but he definitely beat his ass really well. Um, and and uh later on, and this is another thing that you know, symbolism that's just showing you that it's a dream, it's a dream. Later on, he perceives me running around with Chaitin in Hawaii, and he perceives him as victimizing me and me as agreeing to be abused this time, right? And you know, Tony has commented, he is just the sweetest villain I can have. This is just the sweetest fucking villain I could possibly have. What a blessing, right? I mean, it it just shows it's showing so so much love for yourself and in your willingness, right? And then here's the other part that really uh reveals that it's so dreamlike. They both, my stepdad and Chaiton, have the same birthday. One out of 365, apparently. I'm just gonna crack up if I start hanging out with another person with that same birthday. I didn't know that I didn't know that it was the same birthday until more recently. And my sister asked me, she said, What's his birthday? And I said it, and she goes, Oh my god. I'm like, What? And she's she told me that's my dad's birthday. And I'm like, no way, that is the weirdest thing ever, right? The symbolism just it shows you it's a dream, it's all orchestrated, it's like your forgiveness wasn't complete, right? That it's like it's kind of like the opportunity for it didn't arise again. So let's say from Tony's perspective, he he he carried out that whole perception of him beating my stepdad's ass without any kind of forgiveness going on at all, right? So then later on, when he's more ready to forgive, he's basically manifesting the same opportunity in another form. He's just manifesting that so that he can complete that. It's really kind when you see it, how how we give it to ourselves, right? And it's like, you know, from my perspective too, it's like everyone and all involvement is getting a healing opportunity. From my perspective too, the healing couldn't complete because I didn't have a uh, let's see, let's say a uh catalyst, something to forgive. Because like back then when I used to mess around with guys that would tell me something, then tell me something else, and tell me something and tell me something else. I'm just like, fuck those guys, you know. Like something's wrong with them. And I had a plan with it too. I was having a fun plan with it. I just wouldn't fall in love with anyone, and I would just uh use them for fun, and then whenever they start acting like that, just go later on, fucker. There's like lots of other dudes around. So when I got to get when I got to have the experience of falling in love is a way to say it. And that's not saying anything's weak, too. I want to just uh uh just express this about falling in love. It's not like it's a weakness to fall in love, that's actually great strength. You know, it's releasing of boundaries, it's releasing of fear, it's allowing yourself to uh be held deeply. It's just where the the attachment comes in where you start making it about the other person. And that's really hooking. That's super hooking. You know, when when it's uh when you start making it about the other person, those thoughts just layer on really fast. And then all of a sudden you're lost in a city where it seems like it really is about the other person, and then all of a sudden you got something to lose. So, you know, I went through all of that and then had the same kind of experience like when I was younger, and the sense of the push and pull and the like, gosh, why can't they just see that this is fucking awesome? Having this kind of spark together. It's kind of like a rare thing that seems to go down, too. Just like playing it. What's so scary about it, you know? So, anyways, it comes around again for me to have the opportunity to complete the forgiveness. There's no way for me to complete the forgiveness without having something to forgive. Those ones in the past, they're not triggering, right? And and here's the thing about triggering and getting triggered that is helpful. It's not something to resist, okay? It's always showing you that there's something there, an opportunity for forgiveness to take place. However, anything uh works out, changes, anything like that, that will occur automatically, as it needs to. There's nothing to try to manage or control about outcomes.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Yes, so surely you and your friends did play in the spark. Yes, there were moments of that. Oh, yes, and yes, but then there's also the forgiveness opportunities.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Both of those are equally helpful? Both of those, okay. So Natalie's question there was playing in the spark, and there's forgiveness opportunities, and she's saying, are both of those equally helpful? Yes, anything that arises in the field, it's helpful. It's uh, and and you could say, yes, it's equally as helpful. You know, without that kind of spark, there's not going to be all of these other, you know, the the depth that it goes to with these uh with these emotional plays. The emotional plays don't trigger anything and don't mean anything without some emotional depth. That's why I I heard Muji before say, just stay on the surface, don't go into emotional depth, right? Uh, but that's not really what's being asked. You know, it's actually being able to go into the emotional depth with awareness of what it's for. See, it's the awareness of what it's for. There's gonna automatically be fear uh when there's fear there to be seen through. That's why people are afraid of going to the emotional depths, and that's why, you know, earlier on I decided apparently that I was just not gonna fall in love. They do that push-pull thing, and I'm out of there. I'm just not gonna do that. Um I'm gonna just see that the relationship is only for strategizing. You know, having some fun. That's my strategy. Having some fun. One part was getting some free sushi, right? I'd let them know. I didn't, I I didn't like uh fake anything. I'd let him know I want some free sushi. So when there's that sense of falling in love, all those other strategies, like about how you want to use that person, those fall away. You know, truly falling in love, it's like those kinds of strategies about losing a person, about using a person fall away. And then it comes to, you know, there's a shock in that. Like, whoa, is it about the other person? And you know, for myself, I could say immediately I knew it wasn't about the other person. I'd notice something gripping in my mind toward him, and immediately I'd meet that and be like, that is not me. Not to resist it or anything, but just to notice, whoa, that is not me. Something's up to be seen here. But that doesn't st that doesn't stop automatically the programming and the body response, that programming that's playing beneath the surface. So the alertness needs to be present over and over again as those thoughts, those miscreative thoughts about needing a person in the field, keep on arising. Because the, you know, ego thoughts are like that, they're very persistent, they're persistently knocking. So it comes down to staying alert and acceptance and staying alert go together. If you're not accepting yourself, you're not alert. Because now you're dramatizing how you are, and you know, it's a lot of the times it's taken like some kind of fantastical thing that you're perfect right now, you're perfect right now, just as you are, but it's really literally true, and it's because exactly as you are, you are useful. For the most part, people have an idea of an evolved form of themselves that's somehow better than the form of themselves that they have right now. There's a lot of apologizing, there's a lot of explaining, there's a lot of justification. See, there's a lot of fear of seeing the self you made that's a secret self. It's being held in secret from you and then projecting outward. That secret self that you're afraid to look on represents your fear of a healed world, and you know that self that you're afraid to look on to look on, but secretly believe you are that self. See you can never be that self that you made when you secretly believing that you're the self, it makes you afraid of seeing a healed world because where would you belong in that healed world? See that secret self that you made, it's like something that you tried to hide away. It's all these treacherous thoughts about you that the ego told you that you were when you didn't know better. Now you're knowing or you're coming into the knowing that you're one with all, you're you're one with God, you're cherished, you're loved, you never left your source. And to bring that into the world, it you bring it through the sense of uh the sense of self, the self that you made. You bring it through the self that you made by total acceptance of the self that you made. That's the only thing present preventing people from actually living as the self of perfect union young man told me last night that he he's never gonna be a saint. And you know, that is the separation speaking. Because if you perceive anyone as being a saint, if you can imagine it even, if you can imagine anyone being a saint, that comes from you. There is no separation. You're all those potentials at once. I mean, really? It's like, how would a saint see this right now? Whatever it is that you're perceiving, that might be very helpful for you.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

How would a saint look at this?

SPEAKER_01 41:45

Would a saint be judging their own actions? Would a saint be questioning whether they showed up in the right way at all? What makes them a saint?

SPEAKER_00 42:01

Look at that.

SPEAKER_01 42:07

And the way I look at it, everyone is pure light, pure son of God. There's no there's no way to be anything else. So when I interact with people who think they are something else, I just know the truth. I don't need to tell them, I don't need to convince them, although it that could come out of my mouth, and it also it often does. It often does come out of my mouth. I let myself be used in that way, it's the highest joy. And I also let myself be used for silence when that's what's being called, it's a matter of saying only what we're being called to say and not more than that. How does that work out? Because we're not really in charge of what we say. So, how does that work out? It's in the direction of thought when you get the perception that you are responsible for them somehow, or you get, you know, if you get agitated, that's how you know. It's like, oh, come back to awareness. How do I be helpful in this situation? Or, like I said before, how would a saint see this? Acceptance isn't going to come from another person. It's never going to come from another person, no matter how much they seem to accept you even. But we tend to get angry, irritated with people who don't accept us. And that right there is the opportunity for self-acceptance, deeper self-acceptance. It's also a matter of not judging that person, so not for not regarding you in the way that you think you you think they should be regarding you. You know, you really demonstrate to your own mind that you're fully lovable and acceptable when you have a perception like that. And you just notice, oh, that doesn't mean anything about me. I'm worthy of my acceptance right now. And you know, from my experience, the acceptance also extends to whatever person is not giving me acceptance. So I give them with exactly what I would like to have from them. That's how giving and receiving is taking place, anyways. What would I give to them in reaction or response to them seeming to judge me or demean me or not be accepting of me in some way you're perfectly unaffected by all forms of judgment, whether that's projected onto you by yourself, from yourself to yourself, from yourself to another person, or from another person to you. You are perfectly unaffected by that. When you decide otherwise, you can make it seem like you've been affected. So that means all non-acceptance, all forms of it can be dropped right now. You could be released from that right now. It doesn't matter if your mind is racing, your heart is beating fast, anything like that. You see, you see, if you're willing, you'll see how to rest right beneath that. Let that chaos kind of like spin around. Your fear, when you talk about fear of a healed world, that's fear of relaxing in the midst of this, whatever it is. It's fear of relaxing within this perception. It's not trying to get to a better set perception. You don't have to figure out anything. You don't need to learn anything else. Really, it's like you don't even need to forgive. It's an openness and a willingness to recognize that forgiveness is. That's the only answer to any unforgiveness. It's the only answer to fear or lack or uncertainty.

SPEAKER_00 48:26

Forgiveness now.

Need Thoughts, Coffee, And ED Beliefs

SPEAKER_01 48:36

And forgiveness of the self that you made seems to be the most difficult. You know, perhaps you go for a while forgiving all these other actors and players in your field. I know for myself, I don't get a sense of unforgiveness for actors and players in the field. I could just see them playing out their mindsets, and there's nothing there really to forgive. It's the attacks on myself that I see are forgiveness opportunities. So you could say the practice is coming back into knowing, and this is a constant thing, just coming back into knowing that there's nothing wrong with the self that you made. It doesn't need anything. And look, let's say uh let's say your idea, this is uh coming from uh coming from an experience that I had last night, your idea is that you're really bad at sex and um there's no way to get better, and you've got erectile dysfunction, right? Here's the thing if you don't accept that that form as it is right now, with all of that apparent uh imperfection, if you don't accept this the self of form as it is, it can't expand. So let's say getting what you want, a healthy sex life in this dude's case, you'd let's say getting what you want would be very difficult, not impossible, but very difficult going through it without acceptance of how the self is now. And you know, this is plain for me to see because when there's acceptance of how the how the self is now, that's where all the information comes in. You know, of course, I gave him a little bit of information, like where he could look, how he can uh start to unwind his mind. I notice people that think they need something, like for instance, this guy was telling me he needs his energy energy energy drink first thing in the morning. I don't care what the illusion is telling you. Do not believe a thought like that. That hurts your mind. Erectile dysfunction is uh is an effect of thinking in that way. Like you need something, you don't need anything. Right? Sometimes people ask me, do I drink coffee? And I was like, Yes, especially over here. I've got the brevel, you know. I've got the brevel here. It makes these shots and foams up my milk and everything like that. Yes, I do. Do you drink it first thing when you get out of bed? Uh, you know, I wouldn't think of anything about it if I did, but I don't. I don't drink it first thing when I first get out of bed. That's not the first thing. I don't feel like I need it. If I did feel like I need it, I would recognize that that's a projected feeling until that feeling didn't uh show me that anymore. Like I just don't get a feeling like I need anything because it's just, I guess you could say it's my patterning at this point. Unpatterning. It's really unpattering that kind of it's kind of like a change in patterning so it's more coherent with what's actually true. I don't get the sense that I need anything, and I can use all kinds of different things. It's not like I, it's it's not like I have to resist things. Oh, I might get addicted to something, right? Because uh it's just uh I guess I guess you could say it's my way of being to interact with anything like that. I don't need it. And if it's arising, it's useful.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

What's more interesting to me too lately is um I'm like, well, who even cares? Like, who cares about the whole conversation on the coffee? What's interesting to me is like, why are these people arising in my field that are wanting me to justify and evaluate meaningless things? Like, ah, that's coming from me.

SPEAKER_01 53:20

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

Like, yeah, that's where the irritation is.

Streamlining Dating With Three Questions

SPEAKER_01 53:23

That's where the irritation is, right? Yeah. So Natalie's saying, what's more interesting to her, and look at what's interesting to you, because that shows you where it's at, right? Uh so Natalie's saying what's more interesting to her is not the conversation about the the coffee, but why are people uh interested in evaluating meaningless things? Right. Yeah, why they come into my field of perception. And why did they come into my field of of perception evaluating meaningless things? So, you know, that's that's a very common play by the ego to be like, I'm beyond evaluating meaningless things. So those guys evaluating meaningless things in my field are separate. That's all. So just bringing you back to that acceptance of self. Self is not just the form that you made, but it's everything that you're perceiving, right? All that's the self you made, the self of form and everything that you're perceiving. So that includes everyone, right? So when someone's having a conversation with me like that, I'm encouraging them to see it differently. Right. I don't, I don't get into any kind of arguments with anyone or anything like that. If they don't want to see it differently, they just shut off. They cut it off. Uh, but the man I was interacting with last night, he was really interested. You know, he was like, he, he was like, yeah, I just, you know, he had just gone through an experience where his younger brother passed away. And he was a young man. He must have been in his 30s because this guy's only 39. Uh, so the the younger brother passed away, and then he's like recently spiritual again, going into the Catholic thing. And, you know, he's telling me about energy drinks and uh and then and then also sexual dysfunction that goes along with that, and saying that he needs all this protein and he needs to work out in the gym and he's really stiff. And I'm just like looking at the patterns and I'm noticing them. And wherever I'm getting guides guidance to uh share anything, I couldn't share everything. That would take 10 hours, but it share something um just to kind of like seed, you know, seed the mind, however that uh uh that progression looks, however, it grows, not up to me. I'm just enjoying myself in the moment. And of course, enjoying his reactions so many times, it's like I've never heard that point of view before. Thank you for sharing that point of view. Like that's going to blossom, right? Uh, what I noticed the most about talking with people, I mentioned that I I left my profile up this time on a dating app. I had uh put my profile on. It was a couple different dating apps, and then after a few minutes, just take it right down before I even have any conversations or anything. I'm like, ah no. Anyone I need to meet, they'll just come knocking at my door, whatever, you know. So then um, yeah, got a wild hair again. Really, it's just a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit. Check this out over here. So got to have a lot of interactions, definitely interacting with people on different wavelengths. There's uh people on there that just want to have some sexy talk with you, or have you give them a picture or do something like that. And you know, I played around with that for a few minutes and I was like, yeah, that's boring. Okay. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna uh I'm just gonna tell, I'm just gonna tell everyone what I want. And because there's like hundred, I think there's hundreds of requests coming in. So then I just go, okay, here's here's what we're gonna do. Uh I'm just gonna go, Aloha. Thank you for contacting me. I'm looking for dancing. If you enjoy dancing and you're willing to come over here and dance with me and be friends before pursuing any romance, let me know. And then that weeds them out a bunch. So we'll see how that goes. Uh it's it's interesting and fun to also see the time management kind of uh perception that arises in that because I'll start to notice, hmm, I'm not sure I really want to spend that much of my time doing stuff like this, and so I'm playing with that because nothing's right or wrong. I'm just playing with that. I'm noticing this is how I am in it. I'm noticing the um moment where I'm going, I don't want to be doing this. And it's like, okay, what is it that's speaking there? I don't want to be doing this. What am I losing? What do I fear right now? Because that sense, I could see that sense, it's like a pullback, it's a certain momentum. What is it am I afraid of losing if I stay here in this perception? What is it that I'm afraid of losing? Remember, time is an illusion, right? And then noticing, okay, if I shut it off, and I've played even with the, I've only been on there for three days. I've should played even with shutting it off and turning it back on. Okay, when I shut it off, what happens? What sense do I get? Oh, I'm back into a quiet, no, no chatter, no uh, no other. Okay. So can I also take that same sense of quiet and no chatter and no using my time for something that's like like meaningless or just silly, and have that same sense of quiet. See, it doesn't matter what activity I seem to be engaged in, it's noticing the movements of the mind. Where would it make me limited? See, so even saying that, and do I want to waste my time? It's not like that. It comes down to joy in the moment, what's exciting, what's motivating in the moment. And there's no judgment about that. I explore all kinds of different realms, you know. I explore all kinds of different realms. It's and it's not um, you could say it's not to try to find something in the world, it's just for the sheer joy of exploring different realms, right? It's not trying to get anything out of it. It's just sheer joy of exploring. Um, and who knows how long that goes on. It doesn't matter. That's the thing, too, about accepting the self, because the expression of the truth, which is unity, which is pure unity, that can only be expressed through the self of form that we made. And we're for not allowing it to be completely free, then that expression doesn't come through clearly. And the self of form is being held in a way that's judgmental toward it. The freedom is being restrained, and in that the self of form can't be a demonstration of our unity. One thing I like to express is nothing wrong or bad ever happened. I know with talking with people, sometimes they're kind of like stumbling, like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't want to do it wrong, and you know, I'm going, you're not going to do it wrong. You don't have to be afraid of that at all. You'll feel like you are doing it right a lot more often, if you would just accept that the way you're doing it, the way you're saying it, the way you're acting anything out is perfect for everyone involved. You know, sometimes when I recognize patterns and I see something and I'll express it, and it's like, oh, I'm the person will be like, oh, I'm so sorry, you know. I'm like, no, it's nothing like that, it's not a problem. You know, for me, the forgiveness already is. So when I'm recognizing patterns in the field, all it's doing is preventing me from unconsciously playing into them.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

It's not making me need an apology from anyone, it's kind of protective in that way, where I could see the trajectory and what I'm being invited to play into and not play into it, that helps both of us and all of us, because there's only one of us when you find yourself having the perception that you are doing a thing called putting your profile on the site at some point you are realizing that it's like, and I don't have a choice in this the actual action, the perception of there being an action that's occurring.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:06

Okay, so she's act asking about making a profile on the dating site. And she said, is some it is there some point where you notice that you don't have a choice in the action that's arising? Well, you know, the idea that you don't have a choice in the action that's arising, that's to help you get to the point of accepting yourself within whatever is arising. Okay. So, so for me, that focus of it of me not having a choice is not really relevant within that. What I'm noticing is that it's for acceptance whenever there's any question about whether I should be doing that. That's really demonstrating to the mind that the self is wholly accepted as it is. So there's no evaluation of meaninglessness. What ends up getting evaluated is the thought itself that's saying, should I be doing this? See what gets evaluated there? Yeah, rather than the behavior being evaluated, it's the thought about the behavior that gets evaluated. So it's a step back.

unknown 1:05:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:26

See that? So then you know, that'll just bring a huge smile to your lips, right? In whatever you're doing. It's like, oh shit, I know any interaction that I have is helpful, you know, in whatever way it is. For one thing, just being so direct like that. Here's what I want to know are you do you enjoy dancing? And are you coming over here to dance? And also, can you do it without making the moves on me? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:03

This is all coming from yeah, go for it. Perception of having been on online dating sites for like 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:10

Online dating sites for 10 years. Okay, great. Give it to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:18

Don't put any weight into what the answer. You can ask that question. The answer that you get is going to be coming from people that don't know who they are and what they lost. Right. When their actions don't correlate to what they typed in response. Don't get all flustered because you don't get a lot of that.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:39

Oh, yeah, I won't. I'm doing it all for fun. I don't even really need a dance partner. I really don't.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:47

You know, I'm doing it all for fun. And in fact, the first person that I talk to seems like a really good match for like being friends and and you know, just because he's like, he's like, I'll take you to ecstatic dance. There's a Friday night ecstatic dance in Bellingham. I'll take you to ecstatic dance and I'll drop you off outside and I'll go look for a parking spot. And I'm like, yeah, that's my and he dances all the time. And I've had a fun conversation with him. Yeah, it's like uh he he was telling me, yeah, it's a trip on the dating sites. It's it's like a numbers game. You have to keep on uh just going through it and going through it and going through it, and eventually, and I go, Oh, really? Well, you're the first person I talk to. He's like, What? It's like we've known each other forever.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:40

It's really funny. One thing that I noticed from the female perspective is we're we as females on these sites were setting these dudes up um of like, oh well, he said he was this way, but then here now I'm interacting with him in real in real life, and he's totally different than what he typed. And so then us ladies were getting together and we're we want to prop that feeling out of like oh I've been done wrong because this guy yet another one isn't who he said he was.

Honest Sex Feedback And Real Intimacy

SPEAKER_01 1:08:16

Sure, that's that's that's there too. So Natalie's talking about how on these dating sites they're writing stuff about themselves that isn't really true, and so she's seeing how the women are complaining uh with to each other about how these guys are like this. Yeah, that's entirely in your perception. It's coming up for your seeing like this, this total acceptance, right? But what I'm saying is, you know, I had to like just stay on there and fuck around a little bit with all these other dudes that were coming around, you know, it was fun. But I actually met someone who's fucking awesome that we just like automatically, it was like we knew each other each other, and it was the first person I talked to. So that's fun. It's like, but then but then you know, like the first person I talked to was like that, and then I still kept on going, and I'm like, oh, okay, I'm getting a feel for how the field is, what people are are um coming into. You know, it's just all comical to me. I think it's really funny. I mean, one one boy, uh I'm saying boy because he calls himself a boy, but he's over 18. He is 24. He is so sweet, so so sweet. And then I get on FaceTime with him, you know, because I like to FaceTime with someone before I meet him. I get on FaceTime with him and he's just all kissy face. He's like, mmm, like that. And I'm like, oh my God, you are so cute. And then he just gets up and he starts jacking off. And I'm like, laughing, laughing, laughing. And he's like, he's like, you don't like it? And I go, oh yeah, this is some, you know, I haven't seen this in a while, and this is some really good entertainment. He's like, you don't, you don't like my uh you don't like my uh penis or whatever. And I go, well, it's not really a matter of liking it or not. It's just kind of like I wasn't expecting to see that right now, and it's just really funny. So if you want to keep on going, that's okay. So then the next thing you know, he's back, his face is back to the screen. Anyways, that guy just wants me to jack off to me, apparently. So that wasn't that interesting to me. But you know, I did question it, like, am I interested? I didn't like automatically go, no, you can't be interested in that. That wouldn't be good. But I did question, am I interested in? Hmm, okay, let's see. Let's see how this goes. Let's see how I feel about this, you know. Um, so then it progressed more than that. He's so cute. What a sweetheart. Oh my god. I had a couple, I had a a short relationship with this dude. It lasted about two days. So then I'm going to ecstatic dance, and I'm traveling to Bellingham to go to ecstatic dance, get there, and I I park in this spot, I think is a parking spot. And this woman tells me it's not a parking spot. And she's like, Good luck finding a spot. So then I drive around for like 10 minutes. Bellingham, it's uh it's on uh Cornwall. I think it's 1418 Cornwall. Um, so I don't find a spot, and the whole time I'm talking to this dude, this cute 24-year-old guy who uh who I saw whacking off earlier, he just calls me on WhatsApp, right? So I'm like, okay. So he's like, uh he's like, come on, baby, come on, go home, go home and take your clothes off in front of the camera, and we'll take our clothes off together in front of the camera. And I'm like, I don't think I can get into that though. I mean, it's one thing if you want to come over, but he's kind of far too, apparently. Um, it's one thing if you want to come over, but like in the camera, I don't know. That doesn't really seem like I can really get into it. So then I'm driving around looking for a spot, and I don't find a spot in like 10 minutes, and I'm like, okay, screwed, I'm going home. I'm getting on the camera with you. So I find myself doing that, and uh, he's like, What's wrong? You're not into it. And I was like, Yeah, I told you I probably wasn't gonna get into it. And then I'm looking at this and I'm like, Yeah, that's all belief too. Hmm, you know, uh, I just like to experience like whatever it is that's arising in the mind. So I'm like, I'm looking at it, I'm going, yeah, that's just yeah, apparently that's not the thing. That's not the move for me. Um, but you know, the experience was really fun. So then when he tried to call me back again and wanted to do that again, I'm just like, no, no, thank you. I gotta go. But he's so sweet. I was just like, oh my goodness. It's like uh it's it's amazing. And you know, he was going through uh a sense and and probably still is going through a sense like he's poor, he works so hard, he's tired, he can't get ahead, he rents a room, all this other stuff. So, you know, always it's giving me an opportunity just to reflect back what's true. He's like, What do you want? He asked me, he asked me today, today was the last time I talked to him. He asked me, What are you doing? And I told him what I was doing. I was um going from compression therapy to light therapy to massage. And he's like, Are you rich? And I was like, Yes, I am. And he goes, What do you want with a poor boy like me? And I'm like, You are not poor. He's like, Yes, I am. I go, no, you're you've got everything. You've got everything within you. You need to trust that. Trust that you have everything that you need, right? It's all it's it's all that, it's all you projecting like something's wrong with you. That's what I see over and over again with having conversations with people. I never get pissed at them because they're doing something or doing it wrong, or they just want to use me for sex, right? Uh, I don't mind at all. I see the innocence, and whatever it is I find myself in is totally perfect. It's totally perfect, it's totally for seeing through, and you know, it's like that's definitely one way for this self-aform to be used to interact in different realms. It's like into this mess that we made, God sends his messengers, see, into whatever it is, it doesn't matter what it is. I mean, geez, on uh New Year's Eve when I was hanging out and and we're at this um club, I guess it'd be called a club, and there's a like a big concert and people on stage and everything. Man, I got the sense that there was just like some really strong dark energy circulating that place. Did you too, Natalie? I just got this sense like that was like majorly, and and immediately it just came in. Thank goodness I'm here. Right? This is right where I belong. Right in the midst of whatever it is, whenever it's called. That's not like I'm going around looking up online where are the darkest places I can go. You know, it's not like I'm uh I'll just find myself in a situation like that, and I'll be like, oh, thank goodness I'm here. And it's my willingness to see it that way that actually makes it that way. See, here's what dark energy is too. All dark energy is the same. There's no evil spirits, there's no people who are doomed souls or anything like that. Aloha, Alexe. I love you. Uh, there's nothing, nothing like that. It's trauma. Basically, it's trauma that has not been healed. There's no willingness to heal it, so it's circulating. That's all it is. So it when you're recognizing that that's what it is, you actually become like a uh like a healing force within that. Miracles are flowing through you naturally because you're recognizing what darkness is while having that perception. The first perception uh that came up was I gotta get the fuck out of here. I don't belong here. I'm way too light for this. That's always the ego. The ego wants to run to wants you to be running to comfort. You didn't uh you didn't, let's say this, you didn't come here for comfort to get comfort. Comfort is a natural effect of doing your function. So then I ended up feeling comfortable in the next breath. I end up feeling comfortable with where I seem to be in those very same surroundings. There wasn't any urge to leave the place, right? The urge had passed. The ego signals danger or something like you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be in this situation, having video sex, for instance, video chat sex.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:48

It wasn't really sex.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:51

Oh my goodness. Oh, that's fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:00

Yeah, it was interesting. I I think I'm only getting a full grasp of what was going on all those years when I was doing the dating. When you were doing the dating. Um, because here I am. Oh getting the perception that oh, these men, they're they're creating this persona and it's not who they truly are. Well, again, um I was doing that too, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:25

You were creating a a persona too that's not really who you are.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:29

Yeah, but it's um yeah, the opportunity is really ripe, I think, for anyone on these sites to laugh at the fact that you are because that's what we're doing in this world, sure, but you know, on a smaller scale, it's like, here, I'm just gonna type up this self. Yeah, and you know, it's like it's kind of hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:51

I have a one so proud of mine. And people would be like, I don't got me a coolest profile. I don't seem like the most amazing woman. Adam, ah, I'm unworthy, ah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:01

Oh, you okay. So she'd do her profile up to seem like the most amazing woman ever. And a lot of guys would be like, Oh my goodness, and feel like they're unworthy and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:12

I'm like, so now it's like, oh my god, well, like, why am I projecting the guilt on them? I was doing the exact same thing, you know. Yeah, I will never get what I want from a self I created.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:26

You'll never get what you want out of a self you created. That's right. Yeah. Manufactured, yes, a manufactured self. Yeah, so my whole profile says looking for dancing friends around Bellingham. That's my whole profile. They're like, and here's a photo.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:47

Oh, yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:52

Yeah, I don't think I'll be on there that long, but who knows? Maybe over time I'll start making pages. I'll be there for 10 years or something. I don't know. I doubt it though. I doubt it though. Yeah, looking at too. You know, being real direct and not going with the how are you and all that kind of stuff, and try also not trying to be anything for them. That's a big thing. It's like not trying to be anything for them, it's like you can sort through them much quicker. It's like, okay, they say hey, or what's up, or how are you doing? My response is three questions. Do you enjoy dancing? Are you willing to come to Bellingham to go dancing? And are you interested in having a friendship before you start pursuing romance? And then, and then that gets it to okay, uh uh if it's yes, okay, next step video call. And then it just makes it really streamlined. Because then there's barely any left in the field, there's barely any left there. And you know, that design or uh procedure or whatever that is, that just automatically came to me from observing wow, this can take a lot of time. Hey, hey, how are you? How are you? It's like fuck all that. Let's just jump to answer these three questions.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:24

Of course, like the most important thing in all this is just like it's just another opportunity to fulfill your function as the light of the world. I mean, yeah, different than there's no level confusion here. It's like right.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:40

You're just you're there doing your function as the light of the world. That's what Natalie's saying. And yes, that's the most important thing. And when you're recognizing that that's the most important thing, and that's all you are willing to do, what I'm saying is that all practicalities also occur to you. You see how fucking practical that is, right? The solution that came to me. It saves a shitload of time about that. They, you know, they come on. I don't ever go in there and look for dudes to like or anything like that. They come on and they like me. And then if I like them, I like them back. If they don't contact me, I'm not concerned about that. That can just fly by. If they say anything to me, I got three questions. And you know, that practical thing that just arises naturally because of the openness. You know, of course, in Miracles chapter three, in chapter three, one of the main teachings in there was you don't ask. All of your problems are solved, but you don't ask. And this, and and you know, this is the way of asking. It's it's listening, it's in listening, it's in refusing to project lack of acceptance. One way of projecting lack of acceptance for the self you made is simply evaluating it. What needs to be evaluating, evaluated are your thoughts about it. That's what needs to be evaluated. You kind of sort them out. Are they true or are they meaningless? That's the evaluation that takes place. See that? So anything, that's why, you know, I share with you guys. I'm just like, man, anything that arises, I use it all for the very same thing. It doesn't matter. So there's not a questioning of did it go right, did it go wrong? You know, uh, one of the guys was like, I'm glad we did that. And I was like, Me too, you know, and and it was funny because it's like uh I didn't seem to get anything out of it in far as far as sexual terms, you know. There was a little bit of of okay, yeah, all right, all right. But it wasn't like uh like ah, you know, like oh um, and I'm like, I'm totally glad it happened. You know, there's nothing, uh there's nothing that can go wrong. And the guy's like, well, why did you agree to do that with me? And I go, because it's maximally healing, you know, and it's like he was like, sorry that he wasn't up to par, so to speak. Because he asked me, he's like, uh, he's like, well, how was that for you? And I was like, terrible. I'm not gonna lie about it. That was terrible. You checked out, you went blank, you lost eye contact with me, your breath wasn't synchronized. It was like you were doing something on your own, and your your mind is focused on your performance and not our connection. So it's like he's like, whoa, he's like, he took it really well. He was like, he was like, well, what can I do? And I told him, you know, you can check that you can check out Tantra, you could check out, I've heard of a book called The Multi-orgasmic Man. I've heard good reviews on something like that. You can um you can start uh releasing some fascia and things like that. You know, just being gentle with yourself, but most of all, accepting the self you made right now. The self you made right now is very self-serving. Being self-serving doesn't actually serve you. You see that first by accepting the self that you made.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:42

So in this circumstance, yes, certainly your response was coming from the mind, so his own mind. He also was looking for someone to prop up in his experience to tell him that he did it wrong, so that was his draw.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:07

Um well, there's not he did it wrong, this is coming from my experience, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:27:14

The sort of sensing into the energy of this where he's like, Oh, well, how was it for you? Uh-huh. And then getting the response back, it's just like, well, it was terrible. Yeah. Um, so what does it feel like to be the voice? Like he said, he said the whole thing. Right. So we could hear that. Yeah. And what does it feel like from your perspective? To be the voice for what someone needs to hear.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:47

Uh lovely. It felt really lovely. It felt really loving. It felt like he came for that. It's like it's like he came to he came to hear that, like he wanted to know that.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:00

Yeah. Cause he's not getting satisfaction. And the people that he's engaging with aren't giving him that kind of feedback.

unknown 1:28:08

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:09

Right? Pure, honest, not judgmental at all. Not judgmental on him at all. I'm telling him in the same at the same time, you have to accept yourself. Because a major component here is he's not accepting himself. And that's what's making this whole manifestation like this, too.

unknown 1:28:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:28

Right? Where it's like, it's that's that's gotta be hard. And this is a younger man, right? It's gotta be hard. He's like, basically, I have ED. And I was like, you don't really have anything, you're giving it to yourself, right? So um, yeah, and I was like, there, no, there's nothing wrong with with anything that went down. I'm really happy about it. I'm like, I see the patterning though. I see what's going on. It's like sex is so terrible for the women, for one thing, they just want to get it over with. And the women from their end are just using their bodies as like this bait to get something else out of you, right? To get you to talk to him, to get you to be nice to him, even to get you to marry him, anything like that. It's all strategy. No one really cares about actually having that sweet interaction together that manifests as really sweet, satisfying love making that lasts and lasts and lasts. These little, like, like quick, quick little fucking boinks. You know, that is not interesting to me at all. That's like some kind of an attainment vibe. That's like trying to uh, oh yeah, I got another notch. Let me see how many notches I can fucking get. I can get all kinds of notches, apparently. I can have a date every night for that, apparently.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:57

Blaze is calling it kills in Hawaii. Blaze is calling it kills, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:02

Actually, calling it that's right. He's calling it kills. It's a good one. Yeah, uh, but everything is turning out really sweet in my experience. Um, just because I see the sweetness. I see all the sweetness. I don't have any problem with anyone. I'm not going, oh, the dating pool is no, there's no dating pool. It's just my mind playing.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:28

Right.

Deep Relaxation And Fascia Healing

SPEAKER_01 1:30:39

The interactions, the relationships, however they unfold, are perfectly useful. That's why I never have a problem with any uh kind of way it goes down. The way it unfolds is really just such a blessing for us. So the way to recognize that it's all blessing is to be in acceptance specifically of your feelings. Like I was sharing earlier, they're always directional. The relationship may be changing, the relationship may be deepening, the relationship may be falling apart, you might say. It doesn't it doesn't really uh capture it because there's it's just orchestration for the highest good, for the most beneficial uh constellation for awakening the mind. You know, it is kind of like a constellation, however, bodies are positioned. So I started some new therapies since I got back. I started going to this wellness center where I can get compression, lots of compression, where they kind of they kind of tie you up in these machines. My arms are out like this, and they put the machine on, and the machine keeps on compressing, and it lasts an hour. I'll always have my arms in it just because it can go with the legs or it could go with the hips. So I always have my arms in it. That means I can't move for an hour, I can't touch my nose. Like my arms are just out like this, and I'm in a public place, right? So I'm just chilling there in this like big room, and there's people all around. So yeah, yeah, it's a big, it's a big old room. And so people are coming in for different things. They do IVs in there and they uh they also do compression and different things. So one of the ladies who worked there.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:04

Can you hear other people talking?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:05

Oh, yeah. Okay, oh yeah, you can hear people talking, and people are walking right by you. People come and check on you to see if everything's okay. Uh-huh. There's nurses and stuff walking around. So one of the nurses walked by me today when I happen to have my eyes open. I'm usually having my eyes closed. And she said, You are just so relaxed in here. She's like, I am just so inspired. I've seen you. I didn't see her because usually my eyes are closed. I've seen you for three days in a row, the last three days, just so relaxed in here. I want you to know it's so inspiring. She's like, I've never done arms before. And I don't see people doing arms. You can also compress your legs and your hips, like I said. I don't see anyone else doing arms. And you know why? Because they're on their phone. So they compress somewhere else. They could use their phone. They don't know what they're gonna do for an hour without having their arms. Oh, I know. I know. Well, it's like that's that's the thing for people. That's why I'm kind of like a self-care queen. I don't, I never met anyone who can like have the kind of uh self-care um excitement that I have. You know, I actually go to that place every day to get compression therapy and always do my arms because it's the only thing that can pair with the legs and the core. Though you know, the other ones can't pair because they overlap. So yeah, so that's why it's like, okay, everyday arms, that's great because my upper body seems to like need some straightening out, so fine. Uh every day. So every day, uh seven days a week, I'm actually in there relaxing for an hour. Yeah. It goes the shoulder clicking kind of goes back and forth. Yeah, it's still unwinding, but it's get I get an interesting feeling with that arm thing. And I'm just I'm in bliss. I'm like, what I'm what I'm doing with my attention is feeling what it feels like. That's all. I'm just feeling what it there's really no thoughts to be with. I'm just feeling what that feels like. So I end up having a little bit of a conversation with the nurse about how um I found out that really the key to being in physical good shape is to have healthy fascia. And I've been doing block therapy because she's like, What are you doing? Do you have an injury or what's going on? You know, I'm like, no, I'm releasing fascia. I'm into releasing fascia. And I was talking about block therapy and sharing how uh the way people look at fitness is very guilty and definitely saw reflections of that talking with people through the dating app. You know, they're they're amount, they think they got to get a certain amount of protein every day. They think they have to do a certain amount of intense activity, um, where what what we really need is deeper relaxation. And the nurse was like, like, oh yeah, I see, I see. She he she's like, I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get to do it. I'm gonna do my arms, you know. I mean, that's a start to just sit there with uh out being able to use your arms. And then that's only the that that's only the start. I do uh a wellness stack, you might call it. Um most days I do the compression therapy and then go in the sauna for a half hour, uh, more silence, and then go in cryotherapy, full body cryotherapy for about two and a half minutes. That's about enough of that. Um and then red light therapy. So all these are quiet, they're in quiet. There's no earbuds, there's nothing like that. So that's a couple of hours per day. And uh, and you know, I see exactly uh how to be a hundred percent helpful in all of my perceptions, and it's just natural, you know, like Jesus talks about in chapter one, miracles are involuntary, so you're just seeming to do whatever you're seeming to do, and miracles are just spilling out of you because of the way you see, you see things differently. I mean, one thing, just people seeing you relaxing and getting inspired that way. Uh a lot of the times they're not going to tell you, they're inspired by your relaxation. That's just one reflection. There's for every person that tells you they're inspired by your relaxation, there's a lot more that are touched by that. Even even just realizing within them themselves, wow, I can't even do that because I can't imagine being without my phone for an hour. I can't even imagine not touching my phone for an hour. See? And when you notice that, it's kind of like something clicks in because it's all mental. So it's like the idea that I can't do that. Why not? Why is that so scary? And then the questions start getting asked like that. And then the next thing you know, a person is going, I'm gonna sit still. Let me just see if I can sit still for five minutes. And even that little five minutes, even one minute, even 20 seconds, it demonstrates willingness. That's why it's so effective. You demonstrate the willingness to your own mind to use it for this, whatever it is. So stop evaluating what it is that you seem to be doing and notice what it's for. That's how the willingness comes through, and you can know that you're being a blessing. Not trying to get anything out of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:37

It was like in Cameo 14 or something where Jesus was talking to Bella and Helen about their friend, Mrs. So-and-so, who she's just a natural miracle worker. Oh, Mrs. Albert. Yeah, yeah. So these involuntary miracles, only just because she's certain who she really is.

Public Speaking Fear And Using AI

SPEAKER_01 1:39:55

That's it. Thank you. It's like, oh my god, that's such a sweet little but not only is she certain of who she really is, she look at how accepting she is in that story. Natalie's talking about Mrs. Albert. This is in one of the cameos from A Course in Miracles. I don't think it's Cameo 14 because I think that's a chain of miscreation. I don't know what number it is, but yes, Mrs. Albert Miracle Worker is the name of uh the cameo in A Course in Miracles. And it talks about this woman who works in a hospital and she's just very certain of who she is and who God is, and she's also not trying to evaluate herself or anyone else. That's why she's able to able to bring it through, kind of like merge it right into the self-of-form, the self that she made, which then becomes a miracle worker. Miracles just automatically spill out of a mind that's focused that way. And so it's sure of two things. You're certain about the truth, about who we all are, the self of unity, and you're also certain that the self of form that includes your body, your thoughts, the whole world, is also perfect means for undoing this, undoing what we made. All bodies, not just yours. Uh, you know, that seems to be the hardest one. I have a good example for you, too. I was talking with a friend of mine last night, um, and she was invited to some kind of show to talk about her life. Okay. So she has an interesting life. She hikes around and has a bunch of sex, right? It's a uh and she writes about it. Entertaining, interesting. Um, so she gets invited on this show and she's thinking, I want to express about a course in miracles because she loves a course in miracles and she follows it, and she got the sense that she was uh not on point. She came across uh confusing, didn't say it the way she really wanted to say it. She got nervous, she clammed up, and I know that kind of feeling. It's it's like something has gone wrong. I want to be better at this, I want to be better at talking. And of course, she's comparing herself to me. Why can hope just talk about this in a really clear way? Seems so clear to me, and I can't do it. Well, the way I actually got to the point where it feels like I can express really freely and really well is uh addressing those kinds of thoughts that are telling me I'm doing it wrong. Okay, because that's really the root of it. Those thoughts are so fearful. And that's what you're, you know, what you're nervous of? You're nervous of your own self-judgment. Those kinds of thoughts are telling you you did it wrong, you did it wrong. You gotta let everything be okay. You gotta let everything be. And and here's how it looks, okay. I was I was uh coaching my friend on this last night. Here's how it looks the thought comes up, you did it wrong, right? You don't want to push that away, but recognize that's impossible. Okay, now there's a feeling associated with that. Also, you don't want to push that away, but recognize it's an effect. It's only an effect of thinking that you could possibly do it wrong, but to embrace the feeling. See, you want to get to seeing that you can't, not only can you not do it wrong, but however you did do it was exactly the way they needed to hear it. See, they wanted to hear it like that in the first place because they were not ready to wake up yet. They really wanted to hear it like that. They manifest you to say it in a way that maybe who knows what's going on with them. Maybe uh that you look stupid. So now they don't need to look into that, they can do something else. Fine. You're getting you get this too.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:22

I've gotten that for years.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:23

Yeah, I think you've mentioned it. Yeah, yeah. So so it's like they're still getting exactly what they need because this is what they need right now. They need to be uh in a in a mental state where this kind of stuff doesn't mean anything, it's not worth looking at, um, something like that. You're you trusting that it's exactly perfect for them and also perfect for you. This is where the acceptance comes in. This is what allows expansion. Okay, it used to be like that for me too, and it got processed out pretty quickly. I can remember back to probably 2013 or 12, where someone asked me to go on their radio show, and they were just like, ugh, disgusted. What uh that was the perception I got. What a disgusting person I am. You know, uh, the way I was saying things was not the way I meant them. And it just came across as being stupid, right? Like, why did I even waste my time having this person on the show? And I realized at that point, right? That was how many years ago, 12 years ago or something. I realized at that point what this is for, and let it be brought to the light, right? And also total detachment from needing to tell anything, anyone anything ever, right? I don't need to be anything, I don't need to do this with you guys, but apparently I do because I seem to be doing it. That's all. And it still comes up uh once in a while that I missed something or didn't explain something completely that I wanted to do on wisdom dialogues. But you know, that's just so meaningless to me. I got enough experience with that. I was sharing with my friend yesterday. I was like, man, there's just no nervousness about talking. Like I get the sense I can go in front of a stadium and express it, you know. Uh, but it was not always like that. For years, I felt like I needed to pee before a talk. For years, right? Uh, and it was always it was always the same way, uh, where after the talk, the ego would try to come in, but I noticed it and I was looking at it for a while. That I noticed that that was the point where the practice came in, where the ego was coming in and saying, uh-uh, you didn't do it right. You didn't talk about that the way it should have been talked about. You better go look it up. Were you even congruent with the course in miracles? And you know what happens in my mind? I never go back. I don't go back and look. I don't really care. Because whatever it is that's expressed, I know that's perfect, right? And sometimes I'll write something and and the ego will be like, no one's liking it, no one's liking it, no one's liking it. And you know, automatically it's like, I just know that just getting that out into the field in a form of writing or words or whatever, that's the benefit. Just getting that out without trying to reel it back without trying to evaluate it. It just is because of where it comes from. You know, even whether or not it's understandable. Of course, I would like it to be understandable. That's why I started using AI. It's way more understandable. You know, it's like you definitely know what is on my mind. It's like really like this is it. This is it. It's not, I don't have to read between the lines. And also take care of a couple arguments right in there, a couple evil ego arguments. You see that last one on evil, like there's no there's no such thing as evil. And then uh and then just right in there, you know, addressing ego arguments. I know what you're thinking, stay with me. You know, it's just such a joy to get it out into the field. It doesn't really matter. And you know, I've heard the uh kind of chatter from people going, well, uh, I don't want to have to read AI. And it's like, man, you know what? There is no artificial intelligence. This is actually intelligence. It's not, I'm not saying the machine itself holds intelligence. I'm saying that all things are reflecting the mind. All things are reflecting the mind. And uh and there's like for me, man, anyone wants to use AI to express their mind, I love it because then I can actually know what's on their mind because they can't fucking write it very well otherwise. Right? And even taking that time to write it, to write it out, it's like you can get a really clear idea of how this person is perceiving. They're really like they're able to share it like that because you can talk gibberish into AI, and then it'll just okay, this is what this person how do I know that? I take things that people write to me where they didn't use AI and I put it into AI, and then it tells me what they fucking mean.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:44

Oh, one of my flashlights, her and uh her wife, uh, they are using AI to work out their communication. They're just like, what is she actually like? She'll type in or what did she say to me because she actually does want to try to Right. And she's like, oh my god, so helpful. Yeah, exactly. You can actually decipher her and help have more compassion for what she's going to do.

Final Reminder And Community Support

SPEAKER_01 1:50:12

And and when you're triggered, especially, when you're triggered especially, you can actually go on AI and ask AI to be Jesus from a course in miracles and help you with a certain trigger before you try to help yourself by lashing out at someone. Yeah. There's nothing to be afraid of about anything that's transpiring. Everything that we're given are tools. You can say it's a given. Okay. It's a given. Whatever it is, it it's like it could be uh some perceived flaw about yourself, some perceived thing that's unworthy in the world or anything like that. No, it's a given. Whatever it is you find yourself entertaining yourself with, it's a given. Uh, okay. Nothing's wrong. All you need to feel better and to be happier and to feel free and to know yourself as you truly are, is to be accepting the self you made, which is every single thing that comes up in the perception. And that's including the thoughts, the feelings, the people, the circumstances, everything. Nothing's left out of this. Just be in complete acceptance so that you can hear clearly about your reality. It's the non-acceptance that makes this seem like your reality, and it makes it seem like you're trapped by a perceived reality. You are not. You're completely powerful. You have the power of God in your mind. And that's why everything that you perceive can be met like that as I am the full power of God meeting this thing in a field of consciousness that I'm projecting. I've got no problem here. Nothing can possibly hold me back. Nothing that I do, say, think, or feel can make me any kind of guilty. I am the perfect holy son of God. Let me see that now. Yay. I love you. Thank you for joining. Yeah. So I will be back on Wednesday. Um, I, as far as I know, will be doing this twice a week until end of April, I'm gonna say. End of April. So we have like two and a half months for this. So let's have some fun. I never know what's gonna happen when I travel around. Like, will I have network? Where will I be? I don't know. So let's make the most of the two and a half months. Join me. I love it when you join me. Thank you so much. And go to hopejohnson.org. Again, I'm looking for donations right now to help me pay a man who wants to do TikToks of uh little clips of my videos. I think it might cost 200 bucks per month. So we'll see if that generates. And if not, no worries. I get to share with all of you and having so much fun. I love you so much. Thank you, Glenn. Thank you to everyone. Until next time, Mahalo, aloha, and a hoo-e-ho.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:41

Yeah,