What If Every Relationship Is Already Complete? | 3/1/26 | Wisdom Dialogues at Lake Whatcom

Dating advice often sounds like a war plan: optimise your profile, control the outcome, secure the relationship, get the relief. We go the opposite direction. From the first minutes, we question the hidden belief driving so much modern romance: “When I finally find the right person, I can rest.” What if that rest is available now, and dating is simply where we get to notice what’s true about our mind, our patterns, and our self-worth?

We move through real stories from the apps and the dance floor, and we keep it practical: how to use your body as a clear compass, how to unmatch without guilt, and how to let disappointment be simple information instead of a spiral. We also talk about authenticity and why people sometimes react with chaos when you speak plainly. Rather than shutting down, we explore a cleaner path: name the energy, see the self-talk underneath it, and let compassion do the correcting. The thread running through everything is A Course in Miracles style healing: no sacrifice, no fixing others, no making anyone wrong.

We also get into desire and sexuality without shame or transaction, including a provocative look at “magic vs healing” and what it means to invest an experience with fear. Even the tough topics like recurring symptoms and sexual health are framed through mind, projection, and openness rather than blame. If you want a spiritual dating mindset that still honours boundaries, pleasure, and self-respect, this one will land.

Subscribe for more Wisdom Dialogues, share this with a friend who’s tired of outcome-chasing, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. What’s one dating belief you’re ready to release?

Transcript

Welcome And Completion In Relating

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Aloha and welcome to Wisdom Dialogues with Hope Johnson coming to you from Lake Watcombe, Washington. Woo! Yes, where Hope Johnson is on the dating scene, apparently. Yes, uh enjoying uh so much just the different interactions.Anywhere I go, I go to a therapy place every day where I go and get compression therapy and some light therapy and sauna and cryo, whole body cryo. Um, get to see a lot of people and just noticing how this sense of completion is already present within all relating. Like there's nothing more to get out of any experience, there's nothing more than this relationship, and this relationship is the one ongoing relationship when we have opportunities to relate with one another, with other versions of ourselves, that's always only to express the one relationship. It is so sweet. So there's no uh there's no right or wrong form that the relationships should take. There's no right or wrong form to them, you know? It's like one of my friends uh when he saw my writing about patterns that he and I were playing out together, he automatically thought he shouldn't hang out with me. And I'm like, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't hang out with me. It's fucking awesome whenever you come into my experience. You know, whenever uh whenever anyone does come into my experience. And if it's uh if it's congruent with me and it's happy, then we keep on interacting. If it's not congruent, then it's like, no, thank you. Just you know, move on. It's really simple like that. Uh, there's no there's nothing to teach anyone. That's what I noticed too. It's what I've been noticing in my relating lately. This uh urge to correct people or show them the way has been uh very quiet. That urge has been very quiet just to enjoy people, you know. In my writings, I may write about patterns that are played out in certain instances, but it doesn't mean that I'm not also enjoying the interaction and enjoying the person. It's not like I'm throwing the person away. They could pop up anywhere, and it's always for the same purpose, just revealing what's actually true. One of the men I was talking with in dating today, you know, it says on my profile that I'm a minister, and he said, Would you preach me something? And then something just came for him. Something just came for him. Like you're you're complete as you are. There's nothing to get out of any of your experiences except coming to know the truth of your being. That's all there is to get out of any experience. And he was just like, Whoa, what the fuck? This is like two interactions in.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

He tells me to preach him something. He's like, Do you always talk like that?

Relief Without Needing Outcomes

SPEAKER_02 4:05

And I go, I can talk all kinds of different ways. You just ask for it. So you ask for it, so that's what comes, you know. It's it's uh, I don't have any, I don't have anyone to impress. Um, I just get to be free and express freedom and enjoy the freedom and of the dance. If I'm ever talking to anyone and it doesn't feel like easy and fun and stuff like that, I don't even have to chat back. That's just normal on platforms like that. Um, it's really it's really sweet. And also, you know, it's like time-wise, it doesn't need to take up that's that much time. That's what I notice. Um, especially if you're just really aware of how it feels. See, when there's an attachment to an outcome and I see the mindset that people are going through, you know, they're they're sensing that when they meet that person that meets their needs the way they want their needs to be met, they're gonna have this sense of relief. Right? It's like finally, ah, I can rest now. I've been searching and searching and searching, and now that now I can rest. See, that kind of mindset is going to shape your experiences of the whole thing, including once you finally meet someone. You know, I wouldn't want to be that person on the other end of seeking, seeking, seeking so till finally I can have ah, finally rest, right? It's like discovering how to rest right where you are within whatever it is that seems to be occurring. For me, I'm always coming to know myself. So it's like whenever there, whenever they say something where I get a sense of disappointment or something like that, if there's a sense of disappointment, the disappointment doesn't say I want them to be different. The disappointment is just information. You know, it might be showing me, oh, this particular person isn't for me. That's not for me to relate with. Uh, so things tend to pan out very fast. It's not like uh there's this feeling like I'm wasting all this time, like I'm saying too much, or anything like that. It's just light and flirty and whatever is in the moment. And uh, and a lot of them are just like passing through. A lot of them are just like passing through. You say a couple things back and forth, and then they disappear, or uh I either uh just stop the conversation or whatever the situation is. But I've already met two people in person and I had sex with both of them, not at the same time, yes.

SPEAKER_04 7:15

Um that that uh perception that you've gotten a sense of relief. Yes. Um teachers that I like to listen to uh saying, Well, you cannot deny, I cannot deny that I got a huge check in the mail and I felt relief. It's like well, how long did that last? Okay, well, actually only a couple hours. So what we're doing is that sense of relief is actually real. That's just that we have chosen it for ourselves and then really quick to cover up that we're the ones that allowed the relaxation, and we made it as if it had to do with finding the person, finding getting the check in the mail, but right that relief is is real, it's just where did it come from?

Signals Boundaries And Body Wisdom

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Yes, so you're getting a glimpse of relief. Like let's say you're you just got a big check in the mail, and you get this glimpse of relief, and then automatically the mind moves to explain why you got the relief. So it's the same thing with dating. The mind moves to explain why you got the relief, but really that's relief. It's just relief. You know, it's because you believe you need something to happen in order to have relief that you're always projecting a world where sometimes it happens, right? What you're what you're looking for though is to live in that relief, just to live in that sense of relief. And then whomever or whatever arises within that same sense is just recognized like that, right? So then there's not this grippy attachment to people or things or anything like that. What I notice is when there's this sense that uh that you need relief, you're doing it because there's a goal, you want an outcome and you need some relief. When you finally do meet someone and you have a romantic interaction with them, that's when it starts to show you you get disillusioned. Oh, maybe this relief was misplaced, right? It always does that. It'll show it'll show you it'll you'll be disillusioned through the relationship itself. Now, one thing I've heard that keeps people in long-term-term relationship is they had a really bad experience dating. So that is no reason to stay in a relationship. If that's what you're using to stay in a relationship, it's gonna make the relationship sour and shallow too. I started to say that. Shallow and sour, and there's gonna be a sense of I deserve better than this. And you do, you totally do. It's just that, you know, you think you had a shitty time dating, so you don't want to go back to that. There's never any going back. It's not going back because you're constantly changeful. Now you can keep yourself in the same kind of mindset loops, and then it does totally look like you're going back. You may go into a relationship for a little while, it's uh, and then and then it breaks apart, and then you totally get the sense and you're just going back. It's all this back to the dating. Oh, what's it like now? How are the guys out there now? Right? It's like they're always reflecting our own mind. Yeah. And they're so sweet. I love that. I love the sweetness. Uh, and you know, I see that in everyone, no matter what they're doing. You know, I've had I had one guy just, I'm not sure what he was doing, uh, but he just kept on keeping the conversation kind of like he's cutting, cutting and pasting things into the chat. And uh at one point I just said, you know, I just prefer deeper conversation. These are cute and everything, but I just prefer a deeper conversation. And then he just kept on doing the same thing. And I'm just like, hmm, interesting, you know, and and it's not like you you need to uh evaluate in a uh in an analytical way or anything like that. Just notice, hmm, do I like this feeling? That's all there is to it. If I like this feeling that I get when I have this conversation with this person, then I'll continue it. If I don't, then I won't. It just so simple. There doesn't even have to be like any uh uh even even any pattern uh analyzing. When it comes to pattern analyzing, the time to do that is when you feel hooked. See, that's when you need that. When there's not that hook, you can see really clearly, okay, how does it feel interacting with this person? Do I fucking like it or not? It's really that that's what all the signals are saying. Disappointment, anything like that. Do I like this or not? And it's fun because it's it's kind of like uh, I don't know about that game speed dating. I don't know anything about it, but I've heard of it before and it kind of like reminds me of how it is for me. I'll just I'll just unmatch. I'll just go unmatch, unmatch, unmatch, and then a few of them will be uh will be matching. Sometimes no one will be matching, so I won't even be talking to anyone, you know. It's uh it's fun. But I had no idea both times when I met these two dudes, you know, it kind of occurred to me, okay, maybe there might be sex. Nah, probably not. They're too young.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Even how you think that'll be more true if they're too old? Yeah, probably.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Right? Yeah, because we're kind of like at those at the same level. What I noticed about young dudes, like dudes that are in the like 31 to 39 or something, uh, they're like in that place where they have the same kind of sexual drive as me. So that's what I'm learning. That's what I'm discovering from all this. Um, so yeah, both times it kind of uh it kind of took me by surprise, and I was just kind of like, oh, okay. Yeah, it was just like I check in with it, and it's like, oh, the energy feels con congruent. I mean, I just kind of like use my body as uh as like a what would it be? Like a like a tuning fork. Let's say it's like a tuning fork. Like it's kind of it, it's like, how does that ring in the tone with the sensation that does that feel good? Does that feel uh does that does that feel nice? And and you know, when it's a yes, it's a yes. And you know, the dude that I told you, you know, I so I told him that was just the worst sex I've ever had.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

And you know, he can tell I'm not mad, and he can he can tell that it's really light.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

And and so then we're having a conversation about it, you know. He's like, oh, and you know, he's learning things from the conversation and stuff like that. And he still contacts me. He contacted me today. He's trying to have a video call with me. Um really sweet. And then uh, and then the second one, I the guy was uh the guy was 31, and I met him through like uh this friendship area where you can come and meet some friends. And I go, and and I go, I like to go dancing. So we meet for dancing, and oh my goodness, within two minutes, our energies are just like, woo. And he's just you know, he's not he's he's not seeming like a young dude. He is uh he's he's large and he's uh and he's looking me right in the eyes, and he's got this magnetic energy, and he's spinning me around on the dance floor. And yeah, that was um that was just so surprising and sweet and amazing. And it's like there's nothing else. There's nothing else. That's it. You know, if if interactions continue, that's fine. If interactions don't, that's fine. Um having the experience of uh uh of living in a way where people are just allowed to dance through my field, and there's no kind of obligation, there's no sense of need to continue or discontinue, really. I mean, uh even even the unmatch, that's what they do on Facebook. You that's what they have on Facebook, you just unmatch people, even the unmatch, it's just so light and playful. It's not like I'm doing anything, it's like this play is just occurring and it just being allowed to occur. And this is what I see with coming into a sense of complete confidence in the self that I made, this make-believe self with the personality, with the desires, with the urges, with whatever uh, whatever it is, um, complete confidence that it's perfect for awakening this mind right now. It doesn't need to get any better than this. This self, sure, my experience can get better. My experience can get way more exciting, way more. I know that. I see that it's obvious. It's like as much as I'm willing to allow for myself, that's what I'm gonna see. And right now I'm just seeing how to allow more and more, especially through all these interactions. I notice these interactions, this is not something I'm choosing. The dating life is not something I'm choosing, it's something that's given. That's how it is with everything that comes up in your life. It's all given. You're not choosing it, you're not choosing it. Like in the moment, I'm not choosing to have sex with this dude that I just fucking met dancing. Uh, I didn't choose it. The the choice I'm making is whether I'm still confident in the self-of-form, no matter what apparent choices are being made. See, that's the thing, that's the key. And that's what that's what gets missed all the time. People are focused on improving themselves, thinking, look, thinking you're not good enough. What kind of relationships are you going to attract? You know, it's like, of course, there's gonna there's gonna seem like a bunch of dildos out there.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

What you like that term? Come on, let me just use you for this.

SPEAKER_04 19:17

What's up? Um so when I I sort of listen to what you're talking about, um this is just sort of one example, but you know, it happens in so many areas. Um where it seems like the arrogance of the ego to think that so you're like, oh let's see what other experience or deserve gonna come my way, and of course I deserve better experiences, and oh, the facts wasn't good. These are all like isn't it just such the arrogance of the ego to think that any sort of evaluation where it's it's sort of like a blanket statement of like because there is no such thing as like this blanket experience of like was the facts good or bad? Because even in the moment, it's just like it's just second by second. Yeah. So how arrogant for the ego to think that it there's any value or power in just being like, well, that experience, now that sucks.

Nothing Is Wrong With Experience

SPEAKER_02 20:22

And this experience was great, and like well, okay, I see where you're going with this, and I see what this what this is. Okay. So, so look, the experience itself, it's fucking perfect, right? Right? So, so let's go to to the to the bad sex because that's a really good example. That's a really good example. Okay, so so it's like you know, when I'm communicating with the person, he can tell I'm not condemning the experience at all. Yeah, he can feel it. I'm not condemning this the the experience. This is the experience. That's all. It's in and it's and it's perfect as it is. See, the thing where the ego sneaks in here is going, you shouldn't be experiencing it. It's bad sex. You've evaluated the experience. It's like, no, I didn't evaluate shit. That's a fucking experience right there. The experience is that's the worst sex I've ever had. I don't have to go in and fucking sample other sexual or anything. It's just like boom, that's the experience. This is what I mean about confidence in the self-aform, confidence in the self you made, full confidence, right? So it's like if I have an experience of really bad sex, fuck yeah, I'm glad I had that experience. In fact, I communicated with that with him too. He goes, I go, I'm really glad we had this this experience. He's like me too.

unknown 21:49

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

Right. So so so that's the thing. It's not like trying to cover this thing up. The ego's real sneaky this way. He will fuck you up. Okay. So if you're going, I can't have certain experiences, otherwise I'm an arrogant ego. That's the arrogance, right? It's like I shouldn't be having that experience, otherwise, it's arrogance. That's actually the arrogance sneaking in. See, full confidence in the self-affirmance, full freedom to express whatever it is that's being experienced, right? Also, when you're freely expressing whatever it is that seems to be experiencing from the place of also knowing your union, that's where it's really potent. Right? That's where the experiences are really potent because it's not making separation anymore. It's allowing the self-affirm, which is all experience, yourself. That's also part of your experience, your self that you made with all its tendencies, with any way that it seems to be, you're just allowing that to be okay. And even more than okay, perfect for what it's useful for, the ideal self. This is it. There's no ideal self to reach. This is it, the ideal self. And you know what? The ideal self, it's changeful. It's not some pie in the sky fucking righteous image that you have in your mind. That's making a false idol. See? So so where uh where I'm pointing to you now is toward complete not only acceptance, complete confidence. This is beyond acceptance of the self-afforme that you made. Complete confidence that it is perfect for this function. Okay, it is the means and it's bringing about the end, the end of perceiving in separation. You know, Jesus has talked about it in a course in miracles. Don't you trust the means? You know, if if I'm saying that this is your function, and then this is the result of serving your function, don't you trust the means? Don't you have confidence that the means you've been given are exactly perfect for this? You can't lose. You only seem to lose for a little while while you're condemning the means.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

In my experience, it seems like I was wondering when is like I can get to where if I was honest about that, someone's like, well, this is actually my experience. What the I get back is that everyone around me is scrambling and trying to fix. And it's like that's what I seem to get back, and then that makes me want to check out because I know that that's not gonna go anywhere real. So then it's like, oh great, here we are again. Another waste. I was just trying to be authentic, and now this whole oh downward spiral. Oh, great, now we gotta fix something. Okay, I love this. Yeah, and then I just still am not getting the reflection back from others that people are willing to hear this. Okay, and so then I I just I'm wanting to do less communicating with people.

Dating Patterns Disappointment And Ease

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Yes, I know what you mean, and I and I I totally got you, I totally got you. I I have uh I have uh experienced that totally. So Natalie's hearing me here talking about being really authentic and just saying that's the worst sex ever, for instance, and having it just be totally okay, right? She's going, man, anytime I do that, the reflection I see is everyone's scrambling to fix a bunch of chaos ensues. Yeah. So it makes me want to shut down. It makes me want to not express how I how I'm feeling. It makes me want to not ask for what I want, right? Because she's getting that interpretation. Okay. So here's uh so so here's the thing to see within yourself. Just because I'm expressing it to you like this doesn't mean that there's anything for you to fix, right? And and see the thing is when you see their reflection coming back at you, and you tend to take it personal, then it seems like you should be doing something different. You're doing it wrong. It must mean you're doing it wrong because now they're chaotic, right? That's not the case. You take the chaos and you let it come through, right? Let the chaos come through and go, oh, that was that's not how I mean it, right? It may have felt like I meant it like that because see, it's all feeling. So you're manifesting feeling. So it may have felt when you said it, it may have felt like that, and you may not have even been aware of that feeling because there's so much unconscious feeling going on. But everything is manifestation of feeling, and feeling is manifested uh out of thought. So it's ultimately thought. Okay. Uh, so the intermediary there is feeling. So you were having a feeling, maybe unconscious, and what they're reflecting to you is your saying that comes with that feeling when you say it. So this is your opportunity right now to correct it. Maybe when I said that, or you might even be like, I'm sure when I said that there was an ill feeling with that, with it, but I don't mean it. I don't mean that there's anything for you to change or fix about it. See, this helps you see this. This is the demonstrating to your mind that of course in miracles talks about, because this allows you to see what feeling you have when you make a statement like that, right? It's not bad, it's not good, it's information. See? So this allows compassion for yourself. This is where your compassion comes in. And and and uh through the compassion, change occurs through. Remember the happy learner thing. This is also relevant here, okay? Uh, to be a happy learner, you know, it's a matter of realizing that whatever you're doing right now, it's potent, it's bringing you to the truth. To let it do that, to let it be bringing you to the truth is you seeing it this way. I'm gonna go over it again. You say what you want, and then other people react in chaos, right? You get the perception that you should change your behavior as to not disturb them. That's the ego. Okay. Really, what's going on is you're witnessing the effect of what it feels like to you to speak your truth. That's the effect of it. You're seeing it outside of yourself because you weren't aware of it within yourself. So now what you what you do with that is you recognize that that's a feeling you have attached to it. What's a feeling made of? Thought. It's a thought that needs corrected correction. So instead of clamming down, what I've done in my experience living with a family, if is I've told people, I know when I said it, it came with that energy. That doesn't have anything to do with you. That's about the way I talk to myself within myself. You see that? The reason they're reacting is because of the way I talk to myself. All right. So when they when when when they hear that, and I've you know, I've gone through this experience living with a family. When they hear that, then they feel that and they get it. You know why? Because I'm feeling it and I'm getting it. I'm demonstrating to my mind what's going on there. So it's not like I'm trying to prevent anything I say from coming with from coming from the ego or coming from a place of hurt, let's say. I'm there to witness it and bring it to the truth and say what it is. The first time I experienced that was I think 2012. It was with my daughter, might have been 2014, actually. That doesn't really matter. Um, with my daughter, and we started on a pattern where my voice goes up. I don't know which one does it first, but we started on a pat on a pattern where we're playing an emotion, it was an emotional loop, and then and then it just came out of my mouth all kinds of pattern stuff, and I forgot what it what it was because it seems to be a while ago. And uh immediately I go, that was not about you, that was total self-talk, and I saw the recognition in her eyes right there. It's like when you recognize, you help them recognize. I saw the recognition in her eyes. It was like, oh my goodness, and there's no sense anymore that I could be disappointed in her, right? And like I said, any sense of disappointment is just showing me oh, this experience isn't easeful, this particular experience isn't easeful, it's information moving toward, it's information for moving toward greater ease. That's all. So disappointment becomes uh more like a signal than the than this uh idea that someone should do something different to solve the disappointment. What I notice in dating, one thing that gets disappointment going for me is when they just wave at me. So all that shows me is I don't need to respond to that. That's all it's not like I'm gonna get into a pattern where I'm going, what is wrong with guys that they don't know what to do? They have to just wave at you, they don't know to start a conversation, maybe tell you, you know, uh I I'm inter I'm interested in dancing too, or I go dancing over here and I would love to dig, I would love to go dancing with you, or something like that. I don't even get into all that stuff. It's a it's like and it's kind of like a process too. It's there's it's a quick process for me. Is it like coat goes really quick? It's like, okay, what is this? Okay, there's a sense of disappointment. Hmm. Oh, okay, I don't feel like carrying on this conversation anymore. Simple. Right? And it and you know, the the way to uh you could say the way to greater ease is a matter of opening up to feel everything instead of thinking about it like in terms of what they should be doing. I could just see what brings ease for me and do that. Is it is it more ease for me to be looking at the lake than having a conversation, carrying a conversation with someone someone who wants to start out with a wave.

SPEAKER_03 35:28

Then that's what I'll do.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

Or when someone tells me, uh, for instance, they live in Lynwood, which I don't know how far is Linwood, like an hour.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

And forever.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

Yeah, he he stays in, he stays in Lynn.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Natalie doesn't like it at all. She does not like going to Linwood.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

Yeah, apparently he stays in Linwood. This uh one of the guys I was just talking to, and then he said, Yeah, we should we should get together. And I was like, Okay, and then he's like, Well, uh, how about if we meet halfway?

SPEAKER_03 36:06

Unmatch. It's fun. I don't have to train anyone, right? I don't I don't have to teach them how to fucking uh do anything. I just go, do I like that interaction?

SPEAKER_02 36:27

Uh one asked me, what are you looking on here on here? Uh or what are you looking for on here? And I said, I'm looking for relating. Well, I guess we're complete with that. How are we doing?

SPEAKER_03 36:46

That's it. We we're accomplished. I was looking for relating, and that's what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_04 36:54

Right? Well, I'm glad to hear that you haven't uh gotten selected into the the whole sub-world.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

Subworld, okay.

SPEAKER_04 37:03

There's a subworld moving into online dating, and then all of a sudden people start to realize wait, the dudes that are on these apps don't have any money. So or the ships too, because it's like, who are the high value? Where are the high value dating apps? Oh, fun. Now you've entered a whole new world high value dating apps. Okay. I've never been able to find them, but I know it was, but um, I think there's talk out there that it's like, oh yeah, they're like tens of thousands of dollars per month. And so if you actually you want to meet the people that are high quality, high quality people. That's funny. Yeah, you're gonna be shelling out thousands per oh, that's hilarious. Oh, you're not allowed in unless yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

So yeah, well, okay. Well, I I don't know. I'm enjoying the the interactions that I'm having right now. It's it's great. Yeah. I mean, I I mean, one one guy came from Canada. He came from Canada to dance with me in Bellingham. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, that is that's that's sweet. And uh I don't need that much action.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

I'm pretty good with chilling out by the lake, especially when man, I go out, it's a lot of action. Apparently, I don't know what's gonna happen going forward.

SPEAKER_04 38:36

I think we we would all agree that you're you're pretty advanced on the path to waking up from the stream, right? And so how are you uh seeing these men where it's like okay, there are no men, there's just one beloved and like is that like an ever-present sort of awareness, or does that still like m and flow where you have to like remind yourself? It's like okay.

Desire Polarity And Allowing More

SPEAKER_02 39:15

Natalie's question. First of all, she said, uh, I seem to be uh close to awakening or something like that, far along the path as far as my perceiving goes. Um, yeah, and here's the fun thing about that. Let's just start with that part. Like, if you're perceiving me like that, it's actually you. I'm not kidding. I'm not saying that to be fucking zen or anything like that. Sometimes I say to someone, someone someone will go, that sounds really zen. And I'm like, I'm not trying to sound zen. I'm fucking serious about this. If you get a perception that I'm any kind of far along, that is you. It can only be you. And see, the the reason why you get a perception that someone outside of yourself is far along or further along than you is because you haven't accepted your state of consciousness, the state of consciousness that you've uh that you've actually achieved, right? So, whatever it is, people have different perceptions of how far along a person is. That's actually you. It really is. Okay, so the second part of the question uh do I stay constantly in a state of seeing that there are no men in the world? There's only one love, there's only one relationship. Do I stay in constant awareness of that? Yes, I do. Do I also get stay in conscious awareness of it and also get hooked? Yes, I do. That's why I use pattern recognition. It helps a lot. I'm telling you guys, when you can recognize the patterns without taking patterns personal or anything like that, but you could just recognize the patterns. It's like, man, I'm not doing my friend any kind of service, helping him to uh strategize our relationship. Okay. I'm not doing him any kind of service. That's why when I recognize the pattern, I recognize how he's strategizing the relationship. Then the next thing is I don't play into that pattern. I don't play into that pattern. I'm still uh totally in love, uh, in the sense of unity with him and everyone. I love everyone equally, but I'm not going to buy in. And here's how it would look playing into that pattern, just going, oh, and having some hope that the relationship is going to change down the road. And then when I see it, it's like, oh fuck, no, I'm not going to do that. Uh and it's not a matter of saying, I'm not, I'm gonna hope or I'm not gonna hope, but it's just that I'm aware of the hope. I'm more aware of the hope that's basically false hope that the relationship is gonna go somewhere. I'm aware of that, and it's like I see how it hurts, and no way am I going there. No way am I going there. As far as the person and everything, I fucking love him. He can pop up any anytime he wants. Um, he seems to be a little bit scared to pop up every time I he wants because I see right through the games, right? And he's expressed that he's uh feeling a little bit afraid, and I think that's sweet. And uh, and I'm gonna keep on seeing through the games. That's what I do. So um people have to just decide whether they want to relate with me or not. Ah, okay. And really that decision that where it is coming up as a decision for someone, that decision is do I want to be seen in my patterns and also as the truth that I am? Right? Well, I want to be seen those two ways. Now I want to be seen completely in my patterns and also for the truth of who I am. Not very many people do, apparently. Which is perfect for me because I like a lot of alone time. Whenever I see people, I'm like, oh my goodness, so glad you're here. I get a lot of alone time, it's nice. Okay. When we are all children of God, how can there be high value people? Well, yeah, exactly, Dorga. And, you know, that's just you know, Natalie was uh was just reflecting one of the like sub genres of dating. And I've definitely I've heard talk of this. I've already heard talk about the high value thing, you know? Yeah. And it's like, yeah, we're we're all at the same value for sure. It's just, you know, we have different ways of relating that we enjoy. Uh, I seem to enjoy that masculine-feminine polarity. That's what I like. That turns me on. When that dude came into the dance club and he just started dancing with me and he started making eye contact with me, and he was obviously sexually charged with me and he was showing it. I'm like, fuck yeah, this is awesome.

SPEAKER_03 44:44

Right? That's all I know. It's like, that's the fuck yeah. I like that, you know?

SPEAKER_02 44:48

And so, and so it's not like I want to like go, oh, I gotta keep this guy. This is rare. This is not gonna happen again. It's just like, it's like, no, you just like, it's just information. I like that. That's great. I I I like that kind of uh I like that kind of polarity where there's this masculine and he's just like, yeah, this is the way it is. I fucking, yeah, that's cool. It's fun to see too. And getting all of the experiences lets me see um what is it that I'm into? What do I desire, you know? Because desire itself, uh, it needs to be allowed to be expressed. It needs to just be allowed to be, uh, because it's the resistance to desire that prevents us from having the experiences that will open us up to the truth. Like we can't be there, let's say we can't be there for our experiences. The experiences are always coming, but when we're resisting our reason our desire, we're in this mode where we're kind of like, yeah, I wish it was better, but I shouldn't think like that. This is okay.

SPEAKER_03 46:11

You're see the thing is your mind actually isn't in a miraculous state in that moment.

SPEAKER_02 46:19

That's not a miraculous state of mind. It's recognizing here's here's how it looks when it's uh it's a miraculous state of mind. It's recognizing, oh, there doesn't seem to be uh complete ease and relaxation in this kind of experience, in this situation. Oh, that's informational. That's all. See, of course, it's going to get better if you let it be informational. The trouble is you don't let it be informational, so you get stuck in loops. And that's, you know, I'm speaking from experience. It was it was truly when I let it be uh informational, uh, that I wasn't feeling uh like fully turned on and uh and on fire in my long-term relationship, just letting that be informational, right? Until eventually it was just the obvious next step. I'm just moving on from that. But if I didn't let that be informational, it'd be kind of like a crawl towards death. You see people do it, they're like, uh now we're getting old and crotchety together. Uh, you know, it's like it's like there's no need for that. There's um there's no need for it. People are doing it out of fear, I'm telling you. It's a it's like this fearful, oh, what if I don't ever have anyone love me again? You know, what if I get too old and ugly and unsightly that people don't want me? I better hurry up. Right. I've been doing a little research too. I uh I saw this guy online, he was talking about how he could help women to get the men of their whatevers. And I go, I'm interested to see what this dude has to say. So I listened to him for a while. He wanted to sell something. I forgot how much it was, but I listened to him for a while and he gave these different uh these different seven steps, I think it was, seven steps, and some of them were really, really good. One of them is recognize your value. I mean, that is huge. It's like recognize that you are the uh basically you are the prize in the relationship. If you are uh like uh uh kind of like me, like you like that masculine-feminine polarity. The only way that's going to work like that is you being the prize. That's like part of the polarity. That's what makes it a polarity, actually. Right? Uh, once it's just like here handed to him on a silver platter, he's like, meh. Uh and then going places to meet the people that you want to meet, you know, for me, that's just me going where I like to go. Right? It's not like it's not like I'm gonna try to go anywhere uh to meet a particular person. I'm just gonna go wherever I like to go and let that be the natural thing. You know, if I'm not uh I guess if I was uh if I was going, okay, I want to meet a really rich guy, I'm gonna go to the yacht club. I've heard. I've heard that's what you do if you want to meet a really rich guy. Um yeah, I'm uh I'm down for a yacht. I don't know what they do at yacht clubs, but I don't like going on boats.

SPEAKER_03 50:04

So there's a lot of barfing when that happens. No, I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm just making a joke. I don't know. I mean, I have experienced barfing on boats, but you never know.

SPEAKER_02 50:22

Last time someone asked me to do that when I was in Hawaii, I said, fuck no, not today. Okay. Uh Durga said, is it attitude that distinguishes calling attack honesty and informational relating? Uh yeah, okay. Uh so yes, it's like, okay, yes, that's good. Calling attack honesty, yes. So there's a difference between honest, like this attack honesty, and actually being authentic, right? Yeah, actually just being authentic. So uh so when you're trying to attack, there's a whole different kind of energy with it. Now, I've been I I have been um able to, and I've had uh reflections from people telling me, you're the only one who can say something like that and it be okay. And yeah, it's the vibe, it's the energy that's come, uh it's not the it's not in the words, it's in the energy. And what does the energy come from? Any energy comes from feeling, so it's how you're feeling as you're delivering certain words. So if you're delivering words that are diminishing someone, you feel it that can't really diminish a person, but that's how you experience it. You experience those words as being diminishing toward a person, it's your experience. See that they can feel you. So when you're saying it, you may even be saying it not consciously intending to diminish the person, but since your uh since your whole system is set up for diminishment because you self-diminish all the time, it comes across as diminishing in times when you don't even mean to be diminishing. So, you know, to clarify something like that, you you know, something comes out and someone reacts as if they were just attacked, you know, just letting them know, I know that came out like that, but it's not personal to you, right? Just being aware when you get a reaction from someone like that, where they seem hurt or chaotic or or scrambled or something like that. It's like that is not the way I meant it for you. That feeling I that has to do with my own self-talk. That's not the way I meant it for you. You might even say, I'm sorry it came out that like that. Or if you know them really well, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

You know, if you're really good spiritual companions, you're welcome, and they'll get it.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

Because no one's ever doing anything wrong here. Okay, no one's ever doing anything wrong. These are not slip-ups. That's another way the ego looks at this stuff. It's like you're slipping up, right? It's like, no, I'm not slipping up, I'm never slipping up. That's not what's happening here. You know, this play is always being observed. That's what's happening here, right? And love is always emerging, also what's going on. See, so I don't believe the ego when the ego tries to tell me you're slipping up. Oh my goodness. I had a really fun experience of that going back to when I first started having sexual interactions with my close friend. Well, uh, you know, and I have I had the sense, oh my God, this is going so wrong. This is going so bad. What have I done? But you know what? That talk didn't need to play in my mind for longer than maybe like 30 seconds. I remember the moment I was driving at the time. Lots of this stuff happens when I'm driving. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 54:43

It's a good portal, the car portal.

SPEAKER_02 54:48

And uh and it was probably about 30 seconds of that kind of talk. I'm like, no, that is not going to be a thing. That's not going to be a direction my mind goes as if there's something wrong with the means. There's never anything wrong with the means. The means are exactly what is what's needed all the time. Yes, yay, Dorga. We can celebrate that, right? We're never getting it wrong. We're observing. Look what's coming out of your mouth. How does it feel? How are they reacting? Notice. Am I attacking myself? If I am, I could have that corrected right now. It's awesome. It's a it's a win-win. Either I'm attacking myself and I'm having it corrected right now, or I'm extending love. That's great. How can we go wrong?

SPEAKER_00 55:43

All of my relating is beautiful.

SPEAKER_04 55:46

See about the these systems, these men and women who are selling their systems for how to attract the right purpose. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so I decided to do both. I'm like, okay, let's buy one of the dudes systems. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 56:02

Let's buy one of the females. Okay, you've done those systems. They're like thousands of bucks. Uh, yeah, like a thousand each. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 56:10

So, and I was already, you know, had my Course Miracles foundation. And so what I saw with these systems is it was like kind of tempting me down this other way of seeing my value. So these systems are all based on your persona value. That's right. And propping that fucker up, man.

SPEAKER_02 56:33

Propping up your severe persona, right?

SPEAKER_04 56:35

So I did feel the temptation to try to start following these, but I could tell right away. I just kind of had to abandon shit because I was like, oh, we're going down. Like, of course, miracles is like, you can't be wholly committed half of the time. It's like I would rather be committed to seeing through the self that the ego says is valuable, and I want to find my real self. Yes. And it is like a you and the and the ego will see that as a sacrifice. Okay, well, you're letting go of everything that I've told you is valuable. Yeah, yourself, you know. Um but yeah, I you know, and I I wonder. So we have these males and these females, and they're kind of thinking that these systems are gonna help them, but um gosh, they're really missing out on the juice of what you're talking about, where it's like, no, you do not need, you know, if you're perceiving the guy as not valuing you, there's so much richness in there. Like you there's so much freedom if you could just see through that energy clay. Yeah. I'm perceiving that you're not valuing me.

unknown 57:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:57

Well, you don't have to try to find another guy. Also, you're not being asked to stay in something where a person doesn't see your value.

SPEAKER_00 58:06

Yeah.

Everything Is Given Fear Or Spirit

SPEAKER_02 58:06

Okay. You're not gonna be healing your mind by making yourself stay in a situation that doesn't feel easeful and joyful for you. See, that's another thing that spiritual people do in all kinds of different spirituality. They think that somehow, if they do some kind of sacrificing, that they're gonna learn more that way. That's actually sacrificing, though. See, so so it's like it's like if you're experiencing someone that doesn't see your value, basically your your uh your signal, your signal that's coming through is this isn't for you. Simple. It's real simple like that. But we get into these ideas, and the the ego's way is to say, well, what if someone else doesn't see your value either? Shouldn't you just settle for this? See, it's up to you to know your value, not to present it. You don't need to present your value. You know, you you just live your value, you know your value by living it. It's not something to present. Yeah. Uh yeah, I mean, I got all of the information I needed from the that they gave the man gave seven points. And I go, I go, okay, okay. There were some of them where I was like, yeah, yeah, that sounds right. Okay, all right. And then, you know, it gets up to this value thing, and it's like, man, we need to work that out within it within us, and that's as far as like recognizing, okay, this is not reflecting to me the kind of relationship that feels easeful, right? And what is this thing about being afraid of being alone? That's the number one relationship, actually, to be able to be alone and be at ease. Then you know the ease that you that you would uh that you would require for some kind of a uh a union with two bodies involved, like it for another body to be involved uh in my life. There's a certain kind of ease and comfort that I'm requiring that that comes with it. It's not just like, okay, I put up with this and I put up with this and I put up with this. No, it's like if it's if it's not fully congruent, hey, I like being by myself. I feel completely at ease. So if it's not the same kind of easefulness, it doesn't enhance that easefulness, then there's no need for it. There's no and there's no need for uh ongoing interaction, going deep with someone, let's say that's been the trip. You know, it's like okay, well, I'm getting old now, or whatever your story is. I'm this, I'm that, I'm not enough. I need to just settle. It's like, no, never settle. Never settle. Stay with uh stay with your own inner compass. Let it show you all the time. I'm not saying you're not gonna have things where you have uh emotional patterns come up, but if both people are on the level of, okay, let's look at these emotional patterns uh and recognize when we're uh holding anything and not worry about if the relationship breaks up or anything like that. That's how it's really new. It's like we don't have to try to keep the relationship, let's uh let's just abandon that dream that we need to try to keep a relationship. What is this really for? What is the purpose of relating in the first place? When all relationships, when all of these seemingly separate relationships are being used for serving our function, right, which is healing, then they're all fine as they are. And there could be a perception of, you know, getting married or whatever, something like that. That's just still holding their relationship with an open hand. What do we, you know, what do we want as far as feeling? We want both people to be wholly at ease and and peaceful and feeling good in relating. If that means that the the two people are relating is changing or people are going different ways, then then that's what it is. There's no need to try to hold anything in its place. It's just that we're bringing paradise mind. We're bringing it through our experience until it's believable for everyone. Right now, the only reason we don't perceive a world that's pure paradise where no one has to earn to live, for instance, is because of disbelief. It's just disbelief. So our function is really bringing the truth, bringing a paradise mind through our expressions. And this is what's demonstrating to our mind that the truth is true, that we deserve the paradise that's been created for us, and that we have the means to remember it again. We're given, I love that word given. Everything is given. For instance, my seeming habit of smoking splips. It's a given. See? You know, the other day it it occurred to me, I go, Well, yeah, sometimes I get this thought that I want to quit smoking. Then I'll look at it and I'll go, why do I want to quit smoking? Ah, there's another thought that says smoking makes you aged and might impair certain things. And and and I look at that and go, oh, I just want the peace of God right now. And then relax and receive that right there. These thoughts about the world, they're not meant to be given any concern. No concern at all. They're not meant to be given any concern. So then uh the next thought was okay, what about these therapies that I do? What about the idea that those are somehow good for me and make me younger, even? And and looking at that, and that's also a meaningless thought, and they go together. So if I believe the thought that the therapies are somehow good for me or making me younger, it also gives power to the spliff to be bad for me and make me older. So what it comes down to is enjoyment. Are you enjoying the spliff? And are you enjoying the therapies? See, the meaningless thoughts, they never meant anything. It's not like we can't take some magic and say that it really works, like this really works. Gosh, it seems like it really works. This really works. And believe that a thing has an effect on your body without other things seeming to have effects on your body too. Like you can't pick and choose, doesn't work that way. So I go with none of them have effects. My mind's using anything to make effects. Okay. What do I want? I want seeming effects from the therapies that I do. I want more glowing skin, maybe a few less marks, stuff like that, apparently. Right? Uh, and and and look at it. All I have to do there is recognize that I'm using that as a magic wand to get that effect. I'm using it to get the effect. That is very different than it has some power to affect myself. Okay. Now, look with the spliff. What am I using for? What effect do I want from a spliff? Nothing. I don't want anything from it.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:16

The smoking it as it is is the enjoyment.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:21

Well, and two, so uh therapy is smoking, um, they are all the same in that they're a means for the Holy Spirit to help you awaken. That's right. But at least they're equal in that. Yes. And then um, the phrase this week that was juicy for me was what am I investing with fear? And I was envisioning these two little bank accounts. Okay. Like the means are the same. Smoking therapies. Which bank account are they residing in? The one that was like invested with fear, or the one that was like invested with the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:58

Right. Right. Yes, that is a really good point. Yes, really good point. So everything, let's say smoking spliffs and doing therapies and everything else, it's like, what's it invested with? Is it invested with fear, or are you giving it to the Holy Spirit? And you know, what I'm articulating to you right now is an example of how you give those experiences to the Holy Spirit. You know, it's like the Holy Spirit is all for your joy. So it's like, you know, look at it, okay? Uh from my perspective, it's like, what do I want? What effects do I want to uh make the spliffs give me? None. No effects, okay? So great, no effects. What just the enjoyment of the smoking the spliff that's fucking great? Uh, what about the therapies? The therapies, I love the therapies. I enjoy the therapies, they're really fun to do. What effect do I want from the therapies? Okay, a whole host of things. I want uh better circulation, um uh uh better functioning all around, sparklier skin, whatever the situation is, better teeth, whatever. I can use it as a magic wand. There's nothing wrong with using magic. It's just it what's what hurts our mind is mistaking magic for healing. Okay, magic will never be healing, that's not what it will be. We can use it as a magic wand. Okay, here's the effects that I'm going for. Still, you're not attached to the outcome of the effects. That's the thing. It's just enjoying in the moment, enjoying, uh, using everything for the Holy Spirit. For one, for one, what I like about it um is heat, light. Well, that's more than one. Heat, light. I am even enjoying the cold. I go in cryo for a couple minutes. Um, and the compression is just it's all really sweet. Time meditating. Um, I love it. And uh, do I expect it to have effects? Yes, I do, because my mind is powerful to make effects. And here's what I'm saying what effects I want it to seem to have. That's all. It's simple like that. And so then it's so so this is an example, practical example of how we're using things for the Holy Spirit's function. We're just not mistaking them for something that we're that they're not. And we're not going, you know, uh going into these places going, okay, to make this worthwhile to the Holy Spirit, I've got to tell someone something deeply spiritual here, or I've got to correct someone's uh miscreative thoughts while I'm in here. Otherwise, it's not gonna be given to the Holy Spirit. No, it's not like that at all. You don't have to connect with anyone like that. It's not necessary. You know, you just knowing the truth, you just knowing the truth that you are uh one with everyone. So the truth of unity, that you're one with everyone, it's all innocence, it's all peace, it's all love, all that, and also that awareness in tandem with complete confidence in what you're manifesting. That's a self you made, that's everything. All the other people, that's everything. Complete confidence to be the means that you need. You don't need anything special to happen. And that's a practical example of giving it to the Holy Spirit. I know how this stuff gets misconstrued all the time. What is being talked about in a course in miracles? People get caught up with thinking that they're supposed to give someone a concept in there. I'm gonna look out for anything miscreative and I'm gonna correct it by correcting anyone who's being miscreative. It's not like that. It's like this. This is how it sneaks in. Gosh, I hope these therapies work. They're kind of expensive. This is stretching my budget a lot just to be here. They better do something, otherwise, I'm gonna be pissed at these chicks. Wow, what if they really just ripped me off? That's the ego. And it's not bad. It's a matter of recognizing that when that's our supply, when something like that's our supply. As you you recognize and you go, oh, that's just the ego. It doesn't mean anything. So you get back to enjoying yourself.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:10

That's like a very impersonal thought. That's like a common thought that's circulating, and so you're just you're doing your part by seeing where you're choosing to invest fear into that thought, and it's just helping the whole thing to dissolve because we're all it's has a flavor, that thought is yes, has a flavor that's just very impersonal, it's weaving in and out of all these different perceptions.

Desire Innocence And Life In Flow

Sex Health As Mind Healing

SPEAKER_02 1:14:41

Yes, all ego thoughts are impersonal, and they and each of them have a certain tone that resonates through the entire sonship. So when a when a thought of a certain tone, like let's say, uh, what if I got ripped off or these therapies better work or something like that? Then what I'm encountering there is a collective worldly tone. And what happens when it meets with my energy field, when I'll look at it and just notice it's a meaningless thought. You know, it's it's like it, it's like it vibrates more into harmony. That's the that's the dissolution. You know, it's like the fear isn't even really there. So it's like it just takes it to uh it takes it back to the truth. It's like that's that doesn't really mean anything. And I have had thoughts like that arise in my consciousness. I just don't mistake those thoughts as like as if they're real or if they're me. You know, I've heard that um 5G is broadcasting, all of this is symbolic. It says not really happening, nothing's really happening. Uh, 5G is broadcasting uh thoughts, and you know, they they're actually uh on a vibratory level broadcasting thoughts. I've heard someone say this, and we get thoughts all day that are not ours. Well, here's the thing: you don't need 5G for that, that's just how the illusion works. All thoughts about the world are not yours, they're not actually yours. Okay, it's like desire, that's that's the closest thing you could say that's you, because the only true desire is the desire for uh seeing past this illusion completely. That's the only true desire. Union, it's knowing what creation is, it's being in creation. That's the only true desire. Now, desires uh for experience, I say all desire is desire for experience. That's a particular feeling, it's very innocent. But what's been trained into our consciousness is to make that evil, to make this innocent desire evil. And that's what that's what skews everything. It makes the it makes this desire that's attached, effortful, vindictive. There's no need for that. We don't need to do that anymore. We're kind of like past that now. It's desire without making anyone wrong. It's very simple innocence wanting to be deeper in joy, love, and that's just how it is. As long as there's an illusion afoot, there's gonna be desire for more. Isn't that so fun? So it's like holding the desire for more, aka better, with the truth that you already have it, it's holding both simultaneously, and that's where the real juice is, that's where you feel like you're not making any choices in the world, you're not making any decisions on your own. Because you don't know how to attain the desires in the world, but you do know if you've been following and you've taken a course in miracles before, you do know what voice to listen to to attain your true desire. Which remember you already have because you already have seen past this world, you're just playing this out, you already have the truth, you are the truth. You can say that more than just have it. It seems like having it in the world, but in truth, you are the only truth, and allowing your desire brings about the experiences that you are ready for when you're allowing your desire. You know, it's it's kind of like there's a couple of different phases here when you're not ready to allow your desire, when you're resisting your desire, all of your experience are trying to beckon you to release your desire, release it from the confines you put around it. You know, you can uh you can relate desire with the heart, you know, it's kind of like putting chains around your heart when you're resisting your desire. So when you're resisting your desires, your experiences are coming around to beckon you to release your desire. Once you release your desire and just let it be free, then you really get the sense that you're not making any decisions in the world. It's just kind of like obvious. Oh, that's next. That's next. Oh, that okay, and whatever it is, it doesn't matter. I could find myself playing video games on my phone for hours. It's the same. Going dancing, I'm making love, I'm taking a shower, I'm going, I'm writing on my computer, whatever. It's all the same in that it's all on that flow. I'm not making any of those decisions. I'm noticing how I feel. And I'm using that as letting, I'm just really not even using it, letting it be information. Full confidence in the self I made, and full confidence in the experiences that are arising. And that's why people get moody, you know, thinking their experience isn't good enough. The experience is always perfect, and you are always perfect. The feelings, the changeful feelings, those are directional. So uh let's see, what about things like sexually transmitted diseases, yeast infections, stuff like that? One of my friends was sharing with me. Well, it was af after I asked, I think I asked her husband something about something about his penis. I told him, I th oh, something about getting getting more circulation to his penis. And his wife goes, I don't want him to have more circulation to his penis. I'm done with that. I'm like, you're done with it. She's like, Yeah, he came in me, and then the next thing I knew, I had a yeast infection. He's got bad cum. I'm like, whoa. I'm like, that thanks for sharing that with me. It was hilarious, it was a hilarious conversation. So that's a common thing to think that someone gave you something, and and that doesn't happen. That's that that cannot happen. That's not possible for anyone to give you any kind of anything. The thing it reminded me of sexually transmitted diseases, right? Um, she's got she's got an effect of something they seem to do together, but it's not really coming from him. It's really just an effect of a mind thinking in separation. It's a temporary effect, it's sickness, basically. And I think it was a Course in Miracles where I read something about um diseases like that, ailments like that that have to do with sexuality, has to do with uh having sex in an unloving way. So using sex for something that's unloving. And I think that's pretty easy to do because a lot of the times, you know, it's goal-oriented, like you have to get something out of it for it to be worthwhile, let's say. Let's say you have to, um, like it's not going to be a good experience unless you have an orgasm, for instance, right? And it's like, can you uh can you still enjoy like just experiencing, just experiencing, just exploring, just uh just loving, not hoping for any kind of outcome, not making it transactional. That's another thing that's really common. And it's and it's kind of hidden too. So I would always look at it like that. Like if I got a yeast infection or um any kind of STD, I can't really, I know I can't really get those, but get the perception that I got something like that. The way I would look at it is that it's a projection of sickness in the mind and sickness around sex. That doesn't make it wrong or anything like that. My mind's just open for correction. You know what keeps my mind open for correction is not projecting that it has anything to do with me making a bad choice in the world or um or the guy being dirty or bad or wrong for me or anything like that. That's what keeps the mind open. See, it's not gonna keep the mind open just deciding he's got bad cum. I don't want his dick in me anymore. He's got bad cum. That is not gonna keep your mind open. But keeps your mind open to the error that caused the illness. That's what a uh yeast infection is reflecting mental illness. Your awareness that it's projecting and reflecting mental illness that's ready to be corrected. That's why it's being projected. That's what opens your mind to the healing. See how the closed-mindedness just completely shuts it down. You can't do it, you can't have the healing and also the closed mind that what you're experiencing is caused by his bad cum. That was the word she used. Bad cum, dirty cum, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. So keeping it clean is about keeping your mind clean. You may also wash yourself. That's also nice. People like it. Especially if they're gonna have their. Ah, never mind. It's keeping your mind clean of these ideas of cause and effect. Like having sex with them did this to me, right? I had it, I had a sense after the second guy, the guy who came from Canada to go dancing with me. Um for two days I was having kind of like an afterglow. Like I just like had the sense in in myself. It was like, ah, I even can smell them for a little bit because I didn't wash my hair for a couple days.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:27

Ah like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:34

But you know, it comes with no attachment, no need to do it again or anything like that. It is like, ah, so delightful.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:43

And you know, that's how to have these experiences. It's like they're they're perfect. And even the one where uh where, you know, it was like, how was that for you? That was actually the worst sex I've ever had. And still, it's a delightful uh because because of the healing that takes place, every experience is just so sweet. It just doesn't uh it doesn't register as something that shouldn't be. You know, do I want to do it again? Either interact with either of those guys at any point in time? That remains to be seen. I don't know. It depends on the play. I told I told one guy, I said, it depends if I enjoy your company, because he kept on asking me what I want to eat. And he goes, How about if I surprise you? And and I go, Well, it depends if we're gonna do that, it depends on if I enjoy your company. And he's like, Well, what do you mean? And I go, Well, your presence, your attitude, uh, your sincerity, your emotional intelligence.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:03

If I'm jiving with that, I'll eat anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:10

Preferably sushi now.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:15

I do like sushi. Thank you for reminding me that.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:18

Would be a good reason to go up to Canada though, because Canada does have butter sushi.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:23

They do, okay. I'm totally being invited to Canada, and I have a passport. So we'll see. Go for the sushi, girl. I'll go for the sushi. Yeah. This reminds me, I gotta tell the story. This reminds me, I was on a date when I was um, it was before Tony, so I must have been like 20 or something. And um, I was sitting across from my date, and the conversation went to sushi. And I said, Oh, I love sushi. Like my favorite. He's like, Oh, I can't stand it at all. I hate raw fish. And I go, usually when guys say that, they also don't like to go down on women. And he said, Yeah, I don't do that either. And I didn't say one more thing, I just got up and I left the fucking day.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:32

I demonstrated, demonstrated to my mind right there. We were not having any of that. We're gonna be eating fried food and he's not going down. That is the end of the date.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:57

Yeah, it doesn't matter. I mean, it really doesn't. However, however, everything unfolds, it's perfect for us. And you know, any kind of any kind of cruelty that we perceive, that's really an opportunity, you know, it's not an opportunity to see the other people as cruel, but to notice how much cruelty do we tolerate? Just notice it. How much cruelty do we tolerate? One way we tolerate cruelty is not to recognize that's cruelty, right? Yeah, see it. Oh, that's that's that's cruelty. And you know, what happens for us is we'll go, we'll recognize it down the road where we've been tolerating it for a little bit. So when we notice, oh, we've been tolerating cruelty, then you stop doing it. And that's just a matter of, do you want to hang out with me today? No, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:09

That that that feels cruel to me. I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:15

Oh, Glenn. Okay, Glenn.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:19

Glenn, Glenn. Glenn said, come out here and I'll give you some crabs. He's in Canada. Oh man, you're so fun. Glenn, I might like getting crabs from you, actually.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:42

No, you can't you can get you can you can give me crabs, the kind of crabs that you eat. I think that's what he has in mind. Um, but yeah, you can't not. One of my friends is just like ridiculously promiscuous, and she's just really clear and sure. She cannot catch anything, and she's been at that for many years. You know, it's it's like would you just be willing to see that a manifestation of any kind of disease, any kind of sickness, is a reflection of sickness, sick thinking. These are attack thoughts. And a lot of the times people don't realize what are attack thoughts. Attack thoughts attack, what do they attack? Innocence. They attack being, they attack your trust, they attack your faith, they attract your they attack your peace. That's what an attack thought is. Don't confuse that with just your experience. Your experience isn't an attack thought, it's just an experience. Attack thoughts attack the experience, and they attack the one who made the experience, which is you, which is you.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:16

Well, like with anything, it's um say you've got like an S T D keeps kind of flaring up and stuff like that. That is the minute you meet that with gratitude, like it's just like welcoming, you know, and then that's it. What it feels like to fulfill your function, you know, like meet the pattern with a hundred percent gratitude. Thank God I got another outbreak. Oh and who then can't, you know, it's not being attached to how it actually or how it seems to manifest physically, but just to get that sense, what is it like to meet a pattern?

Ending Cruelty Starting With Self

Tony Update And Dropping Teacher Mode

SPEAKER_02 1:35:58

Yes, well, it changes the pattern because normally what happens, like let's say you have herpes, okay, going on and and it recurs, so it'll flare up again, right? Or or any kind of any kind of sickness that seems to flare up again and again. Uh and it keeps on coming around. When it comes around, your willingness to recognize that's mental illness, that actually helps with the symptoms because now the symptoms don't have a cause. You're saying it's mental illness that needs to be corrected, it's asking to be corrected right now. That's all it is. So so when you're looking at it like that, you're you stop perpetuating the pattern. You're in you're actually um introducing a new pattern. In this pattern, you look at venereal disease or any kind of disease as uh a reflection of sickness in the mind, mental illness. That's the new pattern. And excuse me. And that oh, it's still there, and that pattern gets looked at as this is an opportunity. So that pattern, that that pattern that's just been used to being a victim pattern. Now I have herpes. I guess I just have to deal with these outbreaks. We're changing the pattern now, whenever a flare-up comes along, or even thinking about herpes or anything like that, is recognizing that this is mental illness and perceiving it right now as also an opportunity. So it's how you would look at it. Okay, Durga, how to best heal self-cruelty. First, recognize what it is, see it, recognize what it is. You guys, everyone is so hard on themselves. You might say that that's kind of like a knack that I have, that I'm super sweet to myself, comparatively speaking. Okay, that's why it seems like I'm further ahead because I'm just willing to be really accepting and confident in the self that I made. So kind of makes the self a little bit bulletproof to anyone else's idea of how it should be. See? And so that gets demonstrated all the time. When you're recognizing any thought that even questions like if you're gonna get better at your your agenda, if you're gonna get better at doing your self-care tomorrow, um, if you're gonna stop acting a certain way or anything like that, anything non-accepting of the self that you made, number one is recognizing that. Also, anything that seems to be about another person, that fucking idiot, for instance, that's that self-cruelty. All you're doing is recognizing, oh, that's the self-cruelty that I'm healing now. Right? You're you're healing it now by seeing it. Just seeing it is very helpful. You don't have to say, I'm not gonna do that. You just recognize that is cruelty. Do not uh do not mistake cruelty or confuse cruelty with helpfulness. That's the ego's way. The ego confuses cruelty with being helpful and also with being honest. Okay? The self that you made is totally perfect the way it is. Totally perfect. It's ideal just as it is. And if there's any sense that you want to change it, maybe change your body, change your personality, anything like that, great. That's the desire I was talking about. Let it be free, let it be free, okay? Because the self you made in the whole experience, it's totally changeful, and it's always going to be change, changing up until the point where heaven is revealed to you, and then that's eternal, that's eternity, and you like it like that. You're glad that it's eternal. The changes are taking place according to desire. If you have your desire all strangled, then the changes are taking place. It's always changeful, but it may look exactly the same to you with the same apparent self-condemning thoughts with the same apparent behavior. That's what happens when you suppress, imprison your desire. Let your desire be free. Of course, you want to uh be able to communicate nicer to yourself. Of course you do. So notice number one, when you're being cruel to yourself, number two, how that feels. Do I like it? Would I keep it? It's that simple. And that's what a course in miracles teaches. Would I keep this? You got to know if you like it first. And that comes through a feeling. Feeling tells you, do I like this? That's important. That's important information. A lot of people get into the sacrifice thing. It says all over course in miracles, don't sacrifice. Sacrifice isn't love, right? But so many people who do a course in miracles end up sacrificing because they think they should endure certain situations in order to get the healing that they want. That's not it. You don't have to endure anything. You're told that you need do nothing, and you're told that there's no sacrifice in love, and you're told that God's will for you is perfect happiness. See that? So it's like you don't have to do anything about anything. You just notice, like for me, it was just like it was just noticing all of this sense, like I don't belong here. Like in my in my particular environment where I was with my family and having a business and everything like that. There was this ongoing sense, I don't fucking belong here. I'm not meant to be here. There was this ongoing sense of it. At first, I was just like pushing that down, pushing that down, pushing that down. That was wrong. I was being cruel to myself. I wasn't letting my desire be free. Eventually, I let my desire be free. And then just let the steps unfold. No, it's like, yes, this is it in your mind. You're allowing your desire to just be free, and you're allowing yourself to be guided according to it. That's the place to be. There's nowhere to get to. All orchestrated according to my desire. When anything seems to not work out well, anything. If I'm hooked, I need to see the patterns. If I'm not hooked, which I'm usually not. If I'm if I'm not hooked and something seems to go wrong, like let's say some appliance breaks down, or oh, I got a light out in the bathroom right now. You know, just anything like that. I just automatically recognize that that is also coming from a feeling. I'll that's all I do. I just really just recognize that's what it is. I don't try to fix it. I don't try to make it so that no lights go out or anything like that. I don't try to fix the world. I just notice and acknowledge that something not working anywhere. Directions get messed up, anything like that. Since everything's coming off a feeling and all feeling that things are manifesting have come from me, then it's just noticing that comes from an upset feeling. That's all. Anything seems like it's going wrong, that comes from an upset feeling. And so you're training your mind to be receptive to correction and not making it as if it's outside of you. It's not being mean to yourself, it's not saying you did anything wrong. These are all givens, they're all the means for undoing this world, and ultimately that's what we're doing. We're undoing. So I'm really happy for my husband Tony, who I'm still married to right now. I'm guessing we're probably gonna be doing some kind of dissolution. He came out here to visit and he seemed pretty hopeful that we would be getting back together, or at least I would be really interested in him. And that did not occur. We had a beautiful time. We did not um have any kind of disagreements or any kind of uh bad energy, like nothing like that. It was just really sweet and loving, and then it just came really clear to me that's not what I'm doing, at least right now. That was just like really obvious. That's not what I'm doing. Um, I'm dating. Um, so he decided that he would, or apparently, he just apparently decided he would uh not talk to me for a little while because he feels like heartbroken. You know, it feels like loss, like he's losing or has lost the love of his life, and he's holding that together with um feeling a lot of love for me. So I welcome that and I bless that. I said, I totally get it, and then I heard that he's hanging out with a woman and doing all kinds of dancing, so I'm really happy for him. I'm uh I think he's doing just dancing all over the place. I know the woman he's dancing with, and she's a real sweetie and she loves to dance. So I think he's just dancing all over the place. And I know the last time we were together, which was like just a few weeks ago in Hawaii, uh, we went dancing and he just had such a nice time. I did too. It was really fun, but I just saw, wow, he's really enjoying this. He was like, I enjoyed that so much. I'm gonna start dancing all the time. So started dancing, connecting with a woman. Um so stoked for him. And I'm I'm happy that he uh he communicated that boundary with me. He's like, I just need to not talk to you for a little bit. He's like, I'm sure we can be great friends once this uh this unwinds. So that's beautiful. I find it just beautiful how however everything unfolds. And the way all of my relating is just unfolding with so much love and understanding and uh awareness that we're not really losing anything. Now, I did not tell him that in my message back to him after he's saying that he uh basically told me he lost something. He lost me, he lost the love of his life. Um, you know, it occurred to me that's not true. He doesn't lose anything, the relationship is just changed. It's not in the way he thinks he prefers it right now. Um, but you know, that's one example where I wasn't called to tell him something like that. You know, there is just offered understanding and, you know, and care and sweetness in that moment. Um, and seeing, you know, how a lot of the times, and especially for me, because I talk so much and I'm so studious and I seem to be teaching a lot, where it seems to be my responsibility to just teach people things all the time. What's really been coming up for me lately is I like it in my regular interactions. I enjoy not being the teacher. I think that's fun. Yeah. So allowing that to be more and more, and you know, seeing this thought that would have held me to this almost like an obligation to be teaching. I see something. The thought is I see something they don't see. Something's wrong. They need to be corrected. I need to say this. I need to say my truth. I've done that a lot. I started doing this a long time ago. I started uh on Facebook in 2009 saying shit that people are going, what the fuck is she saying? So I I've actually gone through a phase of being a teacher. And it's I'm not saying I'm not gonna continue to do these online ones. Um, it's just that I'm feeling more and more comfortable and noticing a lot more ease, allowing myself to just relate with people, not as the teacher. So they could say all kinds of things. And, you know, I've been doing this a lot, anyways. Otherwise, I'd be constantly teaching. It's just that a lot of the times people look at me, and even in dating too, they'll go, Wow, I could learn a lot from you. And it's like, okay, well, that's not really the dynamic I'm looking for. But it was the dynamic I was looking for. And that's where I thought my value was. And, you know, these are just thoughts that I see through through the process. I just see, oh, oh, I thought my value was in being the spiritual one who can bring this information to people, who can help them heal themselves in real time. Well, I actually charge for that. I got on my website. If you want me to come or you want me to talk to you in person, um, or if you just want some help and you don't seem to have the funds, reach out to me. If I'm inspired, we'll do it. What inspires me? I get the sense that it's gonna be really potent for you. That's what inspires me.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:57

If it's not gonna be potent if you're just fucking around, then I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:07

So, yay, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me for wisdom dialogues. I'll be back again on Wednesday, and we're going to have another ACIM deep dive. We're on chapter three, part two. Special principles for miracle workers. So good. I'm loving it. So, same time, three to five Pacific time. I'll be here doing this till April, and then who knows what happens after that. Durga. Uh, your transparency is inspiring. Good. I'm so glad. Yay! Thank you. Thank you for noticing and thank you for looking at it like that. I love you so much. And uh to send donations, uh, please consider donating. If you like these, if you like wisdom dialogues, you like ACIM deep dive, please consider donating. Um, I have it set up so you could do monthly. That's really nice because then it's it seems like something that I can depend on, apparently. Anyways, um, I'm uh I'm totally open to getting a job if that manifests. And uh there may be fewer, fewer of these or different times. I don't know. Um, so I'm asking you guys to send donations if you feel inspired to do that. Do it at hopejohnson.org or you can send PayPal to oh shit, I don't know. You gotta let you gotta get a hold of me. I love you. Thank you. Okay, yes, crabs are in the bucket. Okay, Glenn. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Mahalo, aloha, and a hoo-e-ho.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:53

Woo.