Seeing The Pattern Behind The Problem | Wisdom Dialogues @ Lake Whatcom, WA | April 12, 2026

A single tech support call turns into a surprisingly clear mirror: the moment I believe a goal has to be met for me to feel OK, my tone tightens, my mind starts fighting reality, and frustration feels “reasonable.” From there, we slow down and name what is really happening. The relief we want is not in the solved problem, it is in seeing the false goal and responding with truth while the sensations are still here. That shift sounds simple, but it changes everything.

We also explore how to tell the difference between ego and spirit in real time. Ego brings strain, disappointment, and an agenda for outcomes. Spirit moves through ease and inspiration, even when life looks messy on the surface. Using A Course in Miracles framing, we talk about projection, “experience the experience,” and why trying to manage your behaviour often blocks honest watching. Along the way we touch on triggers in social situations, empathy without self-erasure, and why certain responses can feel like time collapses because the mind stops looping.

Then we widen the lens to relationships, scarcity mindset, and the belief systems that train us to feel limited. Money, health fears, and authority narratives can function like a mimic of what is true, while giving and receiving are one and truth is the real currency. If you have ever felt pulled by fantasy, manipulation, guilt, or control, this conversation offers a grounded way to see the pattern without shame and choose a cleaner response.

If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who is stuck in a loop, and leave a review so more people can find these teachings. What pattern are you ready to stop calling “just how it is”?

Transcript

Welcome And Going Live

SPEAKER_02 0:02

We can just try it out and see if it works. If it doesn't work enough, maybe I'll start streaming somewhere else.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

You can start the live video.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

I want to start it now. Oh, it is. There we go. Okay. All right. Aloha. And welcome to Wisdom Dialogues with Hope Johnson. Coming to you from Lake Whatcombe, Washington. Yay! Woohoo! Thank you for joining. Yes. Where we are stoked. Yeah. Wow, you guys, I've been constantly being shown different patterns. And when I see the patterns, uh what I what I notice, the feeling within myself is freedom. Right? It's like it's like, wow, I never have to perceive like that. I never even have to perceive like that again. I'm not gonna be able to. Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

So funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

I was noticing on technical support today, there was a sense of, come on, you guys. You know, I had this idea for a video, and I heard AI can help you to implement your idea by just speaking it and it'll make videos, right? Because I already have the text I want, but to have it more impact, I could do a voiceover in my voice and have a video behind it. It could be reels, right? Instead of just still images.

Tech Support And The False Goal

SPEAKER_02 2:18

My favorite thing. So the technical support dude is telling me to do all this stuff, and I'm going around on my computer and I'm doing this stuff, and then at one point he asked me to do something, and I go, This is not what I signed up for. Okay. I was willing to learn your software, but not how to make it work on my computer. So uh, so I was laughing because you know, I noticed the tone of that, you know, I could feel like I could feel the tone of it, and I'm not trying to resist it. So I'm not trying not to say it. That's not it. I'm not trying to hold myself back, hold me, hold it back. Uh so once I communicated that to him, he goes, You're right. You shouldn't have to do anything to use this software. He's like, I'm getting this to a higher fucking tech guy, and they'll work it out. There, they'll either work it out or give you your money back, you know. So I'm looking at that and I'm going, okay, here's patterns that I see. One of them is everything, just about everything, is goal-oriented. Uh, like I looked at, I looked at even uh, you know, when you go take a shower, you got a goal. It's getting clean, right? Like everything without a seeming lack, we wouldn't be moved to do shit. We wouldn't be moved at all without a seeming lack, right? So, so I'm noticing this, I'm like, wow, it's like that's what orchestrates the illusion, but that doesn't really touch us, like we don't need to be goal-oriented in our thinking like that, because that's a false goal, that's not the real goal, right? So, the goal with technical support, what I what I noticed is uh I looked inside myself, I said, okay, there must be a goal here. Yeah, the goal is to get the video out of my mind and onto a video. So so uh so looking at that, it's like, oh, that doesn't even matter. So then you're released from the false goal. What's the real goal? The real goal is for you to see that that makes it super simple, right? The the true goal, your your real goal, your the will that you share with God is for you to see what the false goal is and what kind of tone results from believing that way. And this is not a judgmental thing, it's not about uh making it that it's wrong to feel this way, or it's wrong to have the thought that you have the goal of getting your video complete, right? It's not wrong to have that, it's just that you can hold that feeling of being frustrated, any kind of disturbance, whatever it is, alongside the truth. The truth dissolves it, the truth actually dissolves the upset feeling, and you recognize again, you come

Ease Versus Ego In Expression

SPEAKER_02 6:20

to know the truth of what you are in the midst of all the things you seem to be doing and all the perceiving. See, one girl was frustrated uh and confused, you know, she was so sweet about it too. She's she's so um authentic about what she's going through. And she made a reel on Facebook, and she was saying how she has all these things in her mind that she wants to post on Facebook, and then she goes into it to do it, and she finds herself questioning herself wait a minute, why am I even doing this? If nothing here even matters, why am I doing this? Am I trying to stroke my ego? Right, and the thing that came to me about that, which I then shared with her, is the spirit wants to be seen and heard. Okay, so it's like whatever is done through ease and inspiration, that's how the spirit comes through to be seen and heard. It's really easy because you can tell when it's the ego. When it's the ego, there's struggle, right? When it there's it's disappointment, is always the ego. So there's always a there's always a struggle around it. What we want to go for is ease in the moment, but that doesn't take forcing. See, you have to be easeful with the non-easeful sensations that are passing through. Those sensations are only just passing through, so you can respond to them. See that you could say that's the whole thing about having responsibility is you're responding to your perceptions.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

See, and certain responses will like literally collapse time, will collapse time, yes.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

She said certain responses, and you know, it's really one response. It may have different take different manifestations, but it's really one response, and that's the response of truth. That's the response of what you know, what's what's true and loving, true giving. And really, that's our currency, you guys. We've been lied to. You could say we lied to ourselves because we set up the powers that be. And what I mean by that are the ones who run the media and are uh and and are uh conditioning everyone with how to think, right? We're we've been caught up in that conditioning. So we're naturally uh inclined to think that way through our conditioning, but not naturally in truth. In truth, that's totally unnatural to us. It's trained naturalness. This is trained naturalness, but the truth is our truth, it's our rock, it's the it's the foundation of our being. So what we've learned is not really, it's completely upside down and backwards. It's completely all the systems that are in place, they make no sense. You know, they're all uh

Giving As Real Currency

SPEAKER_02 10:05

they're all complete failures. You know why? Because if they're uh if they're a failure for only one person, they're a complete failure. Because, you know, a system that's of God, a system that's of the truth, is 100% fair and effective a hundred percent of the time. Okay, these things that we set up, they are not true. So, and and there's all kinds of there's all kinds of systems that we don't see that are also in place.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

We're hiding that from ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

We're hiding that from ourselves. That so see see the the line in A Course in Miracles that giving and receiving are one. What you're giving is extending truth, you're giving truth, and that's not something that you uh articulate yourself as a form, in form, you you actually uh it's like you commune with Jesus and them within the truth. You know, you might say it's like within the sanctuary of your heart, you know, that's how that's how we can like really feel that connection we have with everyone, and also where we sense where whether we're moving in alignment with love or we're resisting it, right? So even just tuning into the heart space with that intention, right? It's gonna be expressed in that way. Of course, I want to give that is the true currency. See, being tricked into allowing ourselves to be tricked being tricked into getting a job and doing all these um things for money. See, see, people automatically look, automatically assume they have to earn a living. How did they get that knowledge? Notice that came from other people. Why are we telling ourselves this? We are created in abundance, notice that current C that's abundantly. Yeah, currency. It is, it's a yeah, it's a it's so it's a it's like a what what I've heard AI call it just on videos people have done with AI is a mimic code. In a mimic code, so it's like it's like the way the way it's being presented, this reality, uh, it's uh like a a mimic code of what's true, but it's all upside down and backward. Uh that's what it's being called, that's what the illusion is being called, a mimic code. And that's how the systems are run on mimic code. It's belief uh that it's belief that we're limited, um, that we're that our resources are scarce. See, uh giving and receiving, giving and receiving has always been our currency. This has always been um our safety in a parent world, in a mimic code world, right? It's always been our sustenance, but we've been taught otherwise. We listened to the way our parents not only expressed to us verbally, but believed themselves, and we listened on levels like we don't even realize. They become the fabric of the manufactured self, and really it doesn't matter what patterns or how much conditioning we've had when we recognize that the self is patterned, is a fabricated self that's patterned to fit in, right? Then it's just allowed to be, and you're allowed, and you're allowing yourself to see okay, what are these? What are what are these uh directional the basically we get guided by media? All right, it ends up being social media, we we get guided on decisions and all kinds of different stuff like that. Um I can't say for myself particularly because I could just spot them of like what you're talking to stupid people. Okay, let's see. What is Durga saying? I have been inspired to be of service, that doesn't seem to be conditioning, yeah. You know, uh look at the spirit, like I said earlier, the spirit wants to express through you which is done through ease and inspiration. See all the other things that we try to do for ourselves that don't come from ease and inspiration, it's like it blocks the spirit from coming through. So it stops you from giving, it's withholding instead of giving. You see that? Whenever you're trying to operate through stress or tension, and that doesn't mean to resist yourself trying to operate through stress and tension. For me, I observed myself operating through stress and tension for years, just just quietly in the background observing it and recognizing and coming to recognize and coming to know more and more. That's all time is for, anyways. I mean, those years are gonna apparently pass, anyways. You might as well be waking up during them. That's the way I look at it. If that's what this life is for, then I don't want to waste any time on anything else. I just

Stop Fixing And Start Experiencing

SPEAKER_02 17:25

use everything for awakening and don't worry about it. So today I noticed, and I noticed this last week too, you know, when um I when I started, and it was Easter, right? Last week.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

And my tongue was blue because I had eaten some taffy, and then I noticed I was like, oh, there's like a coating on my tongue, like a whitish coating. Um, so I go, okay. The habit is recognize a problem, then look up how to fix the problem, and then start fixing a problem. So I go, okay, I'm just gonna stop right there. Um, I feel healthier than ever. And I don't notice any kind of issues except I notice I don't want that shit on my tongue. Okay, that's fine. So, anyways, just recognizing that this is a habit, and I've seen it in me a lot, where there's something that is not quite quite right and it needs to be fixed. And see, a lot of the times what people will do, and it's in error to go, okay, this whatever the symptom is, is reflecting a thought, and I want to get to that thought so I can get rid of the symptom, right? Where really it's asking to just experience the experience. Experience the experience. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What's the emotional response to it? Because the choices and the changes, if there are any that appear to be made, will occur naturally. There's no there's no need for us to get involved, and that doesn't mean we don't find ourselves possibly looking for a cure online. It doesn't matter. You just stay in the background of it and just recognize what's going on. Don't try to manage your behavior, let your behavior unfold so you could be watching it. See what happens when you try to manage your behavior. Then you're not watching your behavior, you're watching yourself managing your behavior. So if you do find yourself managing your behavior, watch that. Still, nothing's wrong. Still nothing's wrong. Just notice that's what you're doing. You're avoiding, you're avoiding seeing by trying to manage your behavior so that your behavior will look good to you and not triggering

Bumbye You Learn And AI Patterns

SPEAKER_02 20:45

to you. Oh, there's a fun Hawaiian saying that I learned thanks to Facebook and uh and a total cutie. I don't remember his name, but man, is he a cutie? He's from one of the islands and he's always doing some Hawaiian stuff. But, anyways, he said a term and and it was Bumba, you learn. And I've never heard that term before. I mean, maybe that goes on on a different uh different island. But what it means is you get bummed out by something, that's how you learn. And the way they say it, it's like no big deal. Bum bye, you learn. Isn't that so fun? Yeah. Yeah. So so uh it's like don't be that, and that falls into the happy learner concept as well. You know, it's like, yeah, okay, you you you you did that and it bummed you out, and that's how you see. And you don't need to really go further than that. It's like you just recognize, oh yeah, that uh that turned out to be uh shitty feeling, right? Bumba, you Learn. That's what bum is, bummed. It's a it's uh what Jesus was calling in the last ACIM deep dive. Uh, what was it? Evil conscience. That's the sensation I'm talking about. That's what, well, that was just Wednesday. Yeah, that's the sensation I'm talking about. He said, God didn't create your evil conscience. God is not sustaining it, and it has no meaning to him. Right? Bombay, you learn. See? So it's like, okay, so then I asked AI. I took a snapshot of my tongue and I asked AI, so what does like Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine say about that? And it's uh it's uh hot and wet, it's hot and wet. And I immediately my mind goes to uh cappuccinos. AI goes, yes, in fact, caffeine, this milk, this. I go, okay. So I uh I would like to not change my habit at all and just not have that white shit on my tongue. So this and I know I'm just projecting the whole scene. So uh can you help me with that? It's fun conversation, man. So so AI is going, okay. There's we already established uh the cause and effect isn't true. Basically, this idea that if this then that is not true, we've already established that. If this then that. That's not it. Okay. Uh so so uh what's going on is our consciousness is projecting an if this then that pattern. And so the question becomes do you want to continue the pattern? And for me, my my place is neutrality, neutral about it. Okay, if I continue the same pattern, if I continue the same pattern of drinking the cappuccino, I don't know if that's the pattern or not, but we'll see. Uh, drink drinking the uh cappuccinos, if I continue with that pattern because of the way my mind is wired, I could continue to see a white tongue. And is that okay with me? I mean, really, that's what it comes down to. Is that okay? Is that all right with me? Uh and I looked at that and I go, gosh, I don't even know. But I uh but I see it seems like I'm not gonna touch one of those things again. It's funny. And and you know, it's like there's no one here to make a decision like that. There's no there's not anyone here to make this decision. I am not making this decision. I don't even know. Tomorrow it could be like fuck that. I'm having my cappuccino. I'm gonna go with the white tongue and cappuccino today. Right? One way to test a pattern is to just like stop, take something out, and then see if that helps. That doesn't mean you know it wouldn't be different at another time. It's just uh habits, pattern habits are patterns. So the continual pattern that we set in motion will be still seeming to have power until uh the mind is cleared of all of its gripping to patterns, so it's kind of they kind of like come off in layers, right? So it's kind of it's it's similar to the pattern of if you don't know how to swim and you go jump in the ocean, you're probably gonna drown, right? Unless your mind is clear enough that you're not drowning, something else is going on. You just automatically know how to swim or whatever the situation is, okay, because it's a pattern, and it's like it's like we gave these patterns power in the world. So once a pattern is like manifests in form as if it's cause and effect, it seems very uh very solid to us. So it's not a matter of tempting the ego and just believing, okay, I can continue to drink my cappuccinos if that's the thing with the hot, wet thing, um, and not have a white tongue. That's basically tempting the ego. That's what that's what that would be. See, it's true, that's that's totally true, and yet the illusion has been given power to. So I don't know. I might not find myself drinking one of those for a while. We'll see. Plus, you know, that's kind of my pattern too. I recall back in who knows what fucking year. It was a different century. Apparently. Uh I was going to Starbucks every day and I was getting some kind of coffee. I think I was just getting plain black coffee because back then I was like really conscious about putting any cream or anything. Just going and getting coffee every day. And then I noticed myself feeling dried out. And I got the idea somehow that shit, coffee is very drying. Next day, no more coffee. I switched over to a vinegar drink. That's the opposite, opposite pattern. Vinegar drink with honey and different stuff like that, right? So these things have seeming effects that seem really real to us, right? Uh, so it's not a matter of withdrawing the power from them, is not a matter of trying to do it really quick like that. It's a matter of living through them, living through the patterns and recognizing this is a pattern. Kind of like it was when I was on tech support with that guy. I recognized, okay, this is my pattern. I noticed a thought come up and say, gosh, what a waste of time. You know, the technology really isn't there. Maybe they just took my money and they're not even gonna do whatever. And, you know, I'm just recognizing, okay, that's a pattern. The pattern uh for me to use those thoughts for identity purpose is what brings about the circumstance, it's not the other way around, it's the desire to use something for identity. Okay, so that's programmed in there, right? And that's why there's a any kind of sense, like, and you know, for me in this experience of it like today, there was no sense of unease. There was more like a memory of unease. It's like, oh, this is how this used to be for me, and recognizing it and notice how I just spoke forth like, hey, this is not what I signed up for. Like, this is I'm uh I signed up with willingness to learn your software if it's easy to learn. I wasn't gonna do a bunch of tech support leading up to it. He immediately saw my point. It was really sweet. Okay, Dorga says, When I seem to eat candy, I seem to get a white tongue, so I seem to rarely choose candy. Okay, interesting. Yeah, well, I eat a little bit of candy, not that much, but we'll see. You know, I like to experiment. And you know, you could look at it like that all the time. It's an experiment, you know. If cause and effect really were the real really were true, like a illusory, illusory cause and effect, they would bear the same results a hundred percent of the time, and they don't. That's just how it is.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

Right. I know I love those examples. Well, um, they've done studies with someone that has like foot personality disorder, yeah. Right. What it's the same seemingly, one personality will have these symptoms come up, the other one, the symptoms totally disappear.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Yes, yes, it's all mind. And it's you know, she's talking about how they've done studied where studies where people have had more than one personality, and when they shift personalities, all their symptoms shift. Some of them go away, and then they have different ones. It's all so that's demonstrating it's all held mentally. Yes, that's where all the power of holding is, it's not in a body, right? It's all that's all mental. But then it's not to put on yourself, hey, you should be way stronger mentally. No, it's for watching because what's happening is as you're going through the particulars of your life and your relationships and everything that's going on, all of your different habits, all of the different seasons, whatever it is, you're undoing these things. And that's and that's really the point of it. Responsibility, remember, it's response to whatever you're perceiving. And that response, when the response is truth, that's the giving, that's the kind of giving that's actually currency. It's received, it's immediately received by you, and it actually supports, also supports your apparent existence in this world. Money does not support your existence in this world. Money supports your illusion of existence. That's different. That's actually slavery. You want to come out of that slavery, you want to dissolve the bars on your cell. This is how. Just come to a sense of okay, I'm one-minded. Anything that I seem to do, any road I seem to go down in thought, anything, whatever it is, I'm gonna look at it as a blessing, and I'm gonna let miracles be made through me, meaning I'm gonna maintain miracle-mindedness. How is that done? It's just seeing all the blocks that try to prevent it and recognize them as blocks. Notice what's going on, notice what you're doing because your mind uh is orchestrating the whole perception, it's orchestrated. Okay, you are the experience, you are not experiencing that's the way we talk, you are the experience, so even in what's given, which is all the uh all the um sensory experience coming in, or sense let's say sensory information coming in, even out of that, you are uh drawn to certain information that has to do with the way that you are wired to perceive. See you are the experience. So with a coating on my tongue, I just let myself have the experience. I'm looking at it in a mirror closely, I'm tongue scraping, I'm checking it out, I'm noticing how I feel, you know, and I'm not and recognizing I'm not choosing to do anything, these things that I seem to be doing. Again, I'm responding to it. I don't do anything, I respond to what I seem to do, and that's how we all are. We're not none of us are doing.

Triggers At The Wellness Center

SPEAKER_02 35:35

Okay, what are we saying here, Akasha, my love? Ego will make anything and everything into a trigger. Yeah, so one thing is noticing when you have little triggers, you know, there's lots of little ones, right? You know, I noticed yesterday, I'm gonna give you guys an example. Uh, yesterday I went to the wellness center where I always go, right? I go there every single time, uh, or just about every day, like five days a week. And I showed up. Normally, when I show up, people at the front are super happy, they're really welcoming, they're really glad I'm there. Well, this time I showed up and there was this reception like someone wanted to get off work, maybe. And one of them goes, uh goes, Do you know how to do arm compression? Because I go into arm compression. You do you know how to do arm compression? Yes, I do. Oh, but are you leaving? No, I'm gonna stay a little bit longer. Do you want me to do it? And then the other one didn't answer. And it was just like this air of, and then I just laughed. I just laughed, and then I went into compression, and while I'm in, you know, I'm laying there completely now. I'm completely flat. I got a different position. I'm completely flat with my arms out like this. They're blowing up like the Michelin man cannot move. And now I have them blindfolding me. I have a silk blindfold on, so I'm like bound on this thing. So it's a really nice way to get into just a state of meditation and listening and letting just letting everything pass. So I'm noticing a sense of something went wrong. And I because because of the way those two were with me. And one one of them, when one of them came to help me, she goes, okay, I'm gonna need you to step into the uh hip compression because I do hips and arms at the same time. So I stepped in and she goes, she goes, okay, we need to pull them up. And I go, no, we don't pull them up yet. I got to get the arms in. And she goes, she goes, Well, I can't pull them up for you. And I go, you have to pull them up for me. They don't stay up. You have to pull, you have to pull them up for me, and then you have to walk with me when I go lay down on that thing. And I'm laughing and smiling the whole time, you know. She's like, oh, okay. You know, and then I noticed, you know, there's like a lightening up, right? And then and then when I'm in the compression, I'm actually in the compression, it's like, wow, it shouldn't have happened that way. There's a thought about maybe uh telling the the owner about it because you know, this sense of wow, some people are coming in here, you know, they're like having a hard time, they're not feeling that uh skipper and spry like I am when they come in there. So uh yeah, and so just watching all these thoughts and then noticing what the what the sensation is in the body, and you know that occurred, uh occurred immediately when I went in, I think. And then it would just wash away, come back again, wash away, come back again. Each time it comes back, it's recognizes more and more meaningless. So by the time I get out of the compression, all the attitudes are changed, they're just like back to normal, being super friendly, right? And and it's just all so playful, it's all for play. That you know, it really is. It's it's all just so playful, it's for playing and having fun. And so, you know, for me, just not taking it personally, and you know, I'm having an experience where the person is basically telling me, I can't do that for you. And I was like, Oh, yes, you can, and you have to. See, here's the thing. When uh I'm I'm what you might call an empath, okay? When I walk into a room, I can sense what everyone's fucking feeling, okay? And the pattern is to feel responsible for how they're feeling as well, like I gotta do something about that. So, you know, I noticed that I can just be free, I can just be completely free. I could have whatever experience I want with this. So instead of trying to manage their emotions and trying to shrink down and be small so that I don't disturb them because they're obviously disturbed by by me being there, what it looked like, me being there interrupted whatever they had going on before I showed up. Right? So, so then I I'm not gonna be playing like trying to make it so that I'm not much of a bother. No, you got to give me a shitload of service. You gotta put my blindfold on, too. How about that? I'm an arm compression, I can't do shit. You're gonna put a blanket on me, and the whole time I'm laughing and smiling, and thinking. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

Being in the uh service industry, I've I've noticed uh there's sort of an ego pattern that's like, ooh, it's really grippy, where um yeah, employees will be like like, oh yeah, there's certain people that are annoying when they come into our establishment and the people get really gossipy. Oh fun, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's yeah, so there's this weird, not weird, it's definitely the ego dynamic at play in service industries, in service industries, the clientele and the people that are serving them, yeah. Yeah, there's a tons of energy plays going on, right?

SPEAKER_02 42:05

Yeah, well, if if someone's in the service industry and they're thinking thoughts about people, about some of their customers, it's gonna come out. That's just how it's gonna be. And then people get confused by the energy plays because they can't see these patterns that are playing. Right. Go, oh, okay, I see how I got that energy play with that person, yeah, right. I thought I see how I got that kind of vibe going, yeah, right. I said something like this, and uh, maybe it seemed like I was superior, being superior to that person, and then it started this whole spiral, right? It's like it's it's funny, and it's like the same thing bum by you learn, right? As long as you recognize when you are bummed, because a lot of the times people don't realize when they're bummed out, they want to get a one up on a person because they feel like that's a good feeling, but it's not really a good feeling, it's the feeling that you get by projecting your feeling instead of facing it. So that feels like a relief in an ego way. That's what relief is in an ego way. It's getting relief by projecting the feeling. The trouble with that is that it's also multiplying the feeling, so it's gonna come back around stronger with more and more of a pull. Okay, and so it's a problem and a blessing, you could say. It's a problem because it's suffering, it's a blessing because it's leading

Kids, Conditioning, And Unschooling

SPEAKER_02 43:40

everyone to dropping it. Seeing to seeing that our problems have been solved. All right, another one from Akasha Like when we're little kids, if we don't know we can't do something. We still try. And little ones naturally uh live, I think she meant live in the miracle. Yes, I noticed that when I was parenting my children, like when my four-year-old, who's now 18, liked to play on the roof. What I noticed was he wasn't afraid of anything. And at the same time, he knew not to jump off the roof. Right. And someone might say, Oh, well, that's fear at play that he's just knows not to jump off the roof. We don't know. Maybe not. Maybe it's just awareness of patterns. It doesn't necessarily have to be fear. It could just be awareness of patterns without even having to have a language yet. You know, I've also heard about an experiment. I'm amazed that people would try this, putting babies with a bunch of knives and and seeing that none of them got cut. Right? Like they just automatically a baby automatically swims before they learn that they can't swim. It's so funny. Yes. Naturally live in the miracle. That's right. So when I wrote my when I wrote my book, Unschooling for Parents, what was inspiring me all the way back from 2012 until the book was completed in 2019, uh, was that I could actually learn from my kids how to live more in the miracle because they're closer to that connection. They haven't been as conditioned, especially the younger ones. They haven't been as conditioned as I have. So I was kind of uh letting them lead as far as just watching them, you know, and noticing, okay, they just allow themselves to be, you know, over time they started to develop ideas that they weren't good enough. You know, there seems to be a lack, so then they go try to fill that lack. But the 17, 18-year-old, he doesn't have that at all. His expression is contentment. He might drive, he has before he had his permit.

SPEAKER_01 47:04

He was like, Ah, that's not for me right now. I'm good with just chilling out.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

Yeah, yeah. I I I need do nothing. Right? And I talked to Tony about it. I talked to Tony lately, and that's that's my uh my husband, soon-to-be ex-husband, I think. We'll see how that works out. I'm not in charge of the paperwork. Anyways, he's just so pleased with our son, who's 18, just and how he is just so calm. He says he's like a little Buddha, and he's available to help. Anytime you know, someone needs some help, he's available, he's there. He doesn't have a lot of words to say, he just helps out. He's been helping with with uh Tony's technical support as he's taking over uh Miracle Botanicals. He's totally taking it over, getting everything shifted. It hasn't all we did our best, but it hasn't all shifted over yet. There's just so many little strands going on. Um, so as that's happening, our son, our 18-year-old son, is helping with that, and he's just enjoying him so much. He's like, it's just so heart healing to be around him. And this is a kid, um, you know, he's 18, so he came along kind of at the beginning of this journey. In fact, his birth was quite uh transformative. Everything leading up to it and the birth, a painless birth, there was a lot of seeing there, and also just being with him. We did attachment parenting, quote unquote attachment parenting. That's where we hang out together a lot, and he gets to have as much of me as he wants. And I have I went through times where I was just feeling like PTSD. Like my 12-year-old, my inner 12-year-old was like, fuck this. You want to do what you want to do. You don't want to be fucking entertaining this kid for years. Anyways, I saw through all that bullshit. It was really fun. 13 years I got to hang out with him, and then once he was 13, he wasn't into me very much anymore. And I was like, okay, have fun, have fun with that. Hey, I'm always here when you need me. Right? I'm always, who knows? I'm always here. Yeah, I have really sweet communications with him too. What's up?

SPEAKER_00 49:51

Um, remind me, I ordered some of these books from Ken Wapnick, who's like a uh PCI scholar. Yeah. And I there's one that he's got from parents and children. And it's just a small pamphlet, really. I don't think it's much more design or something. And I haven't read it yet, but I sort of skimmed through, and um, seems like the gist of it is why the parent-child relationship can be the most challenging to be perceived is because we have a perception we're coming into this world, and then the parent is the first person who sees you as a body, uh, you know, but intuitively you know you're not actually uh-huh, so that's why there's so much friction a lot of the time, right?

SPEAKER_02 50:42

How fun!

SPEAKER_00 50:44

The first person that's attempting to convince you that you're a body is your mother, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:51

In case you can't hear Natalie, she's saying the first person to convince you that you're a body is your mother, and she learned from Ken Wapnick, who is a course in miracles guy. Uh, she learned from him that it's because your mother, it's the reason you have some conflict with your mother is because that that's the first person to identify you as a body and try to convince you that you're a body, basically. Um, forgive them, they know not what they do.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

Yeah, we feel maybe a resistance to that, even as babies.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

We feel resistant to it. Yeah, I remember feeling resistant to what people were trying to feed me as far as mentally as a little kid. Yeah, yeah. I was like kind of feeling we I well, not kind of, I felt really weird in hospitals, really weird. I have after I gave birth the first time in a hospital, I just couldn't wait to get out of there. That's to the point where they were suspicious of me. They thought it was because I was on drugs. Okay, so Dorga, clarify when I project

Projection Versus Facing The Feeling

SPEAKER_02 52:05

rather than facing it, how might that look? Also, why is the energy building, gaining momentum when projecting? Okay, projecting, okay. Let's start with when I project rather than facing it, how might that look? So let's say we'll give the well, I'll give you two different examples. Let's use number one, the coating on the tongue example. Okay, so projecting is making it as if the feeling is coming from the coated tongue, and the feeling is generating all this activity to go look up what's going on with it, okay. So if you buy into, and really it's just buying into the idea that your better feeling is gonna come when you solve the problem, that's projecting. Okay, why is that building? Because you're saying, basically saying, I want to keep the feeling and fix the effect. I want to keep the upset feeling and fix the effect. When I do that, I'm repressing the upset feeling. That's where it multiplies because it's darkness, it multiplies in darkness. You chose to repress it. So, how does this look different? The when when you're facing it, the whole manifestation can go the exact same way. The movement can still be to fix the problem, does not matter. It's just that you're looking at it in this way. This is my habit. Now fixing this white tongue situation is not gonna fix the habit of projecting. I don't like this, something is wrong. That's the feeling that needs to be faced and embraced. See, you don't fault yourself for feeling like something is wrong. What is it? Look at what it mo look at what it motivates. It's it's like automatically that's motivated. It puts been puts something into motion. It's okay. It's not gonna help. It's like whack-a-mole. That game whack-a-mole. One you hit one mole, and three more moles pop up. Right? Gosh, it just seemed like I got my skincare regimen under control. Now the coated tongue.

SPEAKER_00 54:47

Wait a second, you're sending mixed messages because you love soft furry coats.

SPEAKER_01 54:54

You love soft furry coats.

SPEAKER_02 54:58

I do. Just not on right, not on my right, you gotta be more clear on your manifestation, right? Yeah, I said I love soft furry coats, and the universe gave me a soft furry coated tongue. No, it's not like that. That's just funny. So it's being with the reaction to it. See, your response and reaction are different, right? There's automatically a reaction, so it's be a response, is being with the reaction. See, this is where we find ourselves holding the breath, I notice, is in believing that solving this problem is actually getting us what we want. What we really want is relief from an upset feeling. That's why Jesus says God did not create your guilty, or he called it sinful conscience. That's a sinful conscience. Right? This is not in a bad way. Just a mistake. So what else have I been playing with this week? Besides big time. Oh, I was gonna give you one more example, Dorga. Okay, let me give you another example. I'm gonna put in a relationship context. Okay. So let's say someone ghosts you. I got that perception this weekend. I did not even care. Didn't matter to me one bit. It was funny. I was like, I'm glad that happened. But let's say someone ghosts you, you get a bad feeling about that, uh, over that, let's say, because you don't really, it's not really about that, but you get a bad feeling. Um, maybe you feel rejected, maybe you feel not good enough, whatever it is, and you start projecting. This is projecting where guys nowadays they're like this, or whatever. Uh, or what did I what what did I do? What did I say to make him not? You know what I mean? So facing it is recognizing that relationship, everything that happened is complete, it's perfect, nothing's going wrong, right? If you're feeling any kind of upset feeling about it, embrace yourself, feeling the upset feeling. That's the facing it. See, so the projection thoughts can arise, it's just that you don't believe them. If you perceive the projection thoughts, doesn't mean you got it wrong, they're just there for you to give true response to, which is a loving response. You know, if you look at every circumstance as a blessing, then it'll serve that way for you. But you you look at some things like being a wrong move, you know, I just don't see things like that. For one thing, you know, I I've been writing a lot about relationships, and one of my friends goes, Oh, I'm glad that's helpful. Yay. One of my friends goes, I was in an inappropriate relationship too. And the inappropriate word is because the dude is like 14 years younger than me. That's the inappropriate. And I'm like, I do not see that as being inappropriate at all. In fact, I see it as a good fit. I mean, a person in my uh, at least from my point of view, let's say this is how it is for me. I'm very sexually active. Dudes my age don't seem to be like that. At least they're not showing up like that. They want to be. They definitely want to be showing up like that. But for one, shit, a lot of them can't walk. It's hilarious. Like, what's going on? It's like this pattern uh of projected bodies that don't work. I'm like, what in the heck? So I don't really mind age. I mean, I was just talking to a 23-year-old dude, apparently. I don't think it's inappropriate at all, man. Um, and the

Agenda, Fantasy, And Dating Patterns

SPEAKER_02 1:00:00

man I'm gonna hang out with this week, I'm leaving for four days. I'm gonna take uh, this is the 16th through the 20th of April. And uh and for the 15th, I won't be having a ACIM deep dive on the 15th, Wednesday the 15th. And also I'm taking the next the following Sunday off. So I'm going to Mississippi to meet with someone who I met on Facebook dating. We've had interactions back and forth a bunch of times, and um just really sweet, really pay playful. I did get a dick pic, it is super cute. I showed it to Natalie. It's like it's it's it's like it's like a work of art. It reminds it kind of reminds me of uh the hoodoos, the hoodoos that are over um in Bryce Canyon and around Bryce Canyon. The way that it's variegated, it's very nice, right? But the whole thing is really playful, it's not like uh fantasy pornographic kind of stuff at all. It's just like it's just really playful. In fact, how that came out, he asked me if I would send him a nude, and I said, you go first, and he sent me the dick pic. And I go, Okay, that's your just your penis, it's very nice. Anyways, we exchanged nude photos and we like each other. Um, and it's just really fun, it's just really playful. He got me my own hotel room, got my plane ticket and everything, and you know, it's just no agenda. That's what I noticed. This is one thing that came out in about relationships for me recently: agenda. When there's an agenda, oh my gosh, it just changes everything. And there's an agenda to try to, you know, make this something that changes it. I've had a few relatings without agenda, and it's been really nice. And this week I noticed, wow, I could see exactly where my mind sneakily went into agenda when I got the sense that I fell in love. You know, it's like, it's like, well, first of all, before I got the sense, or as I was getting the sense that I fell in love, man, I I had this dream. It was like an erotic dream or vision. It was not, it was abstract. So it wasn't like anything was clear. There weren't like clear images of anything, it was abstract and mostly in a feeling sense. And that was like it lasted for like five hours where I just went into this blissful state, just not moving at all. And after that, it seemed like it was associated with him. And without noticing it, I attached agenda to the relationship. And that's where, well, I can't say I totally didn't notice it because there were parts where I noticed it completely. There was one instance really early on where I heard my mind say, with urgency, I need you toward him. And I was like, oh no, that is not me, you know. So there is always that in the background, and yet I also allowed myself to just fall, just just go for it, just fall. And it's like the best thing ever. Even though, you know, on the other side of that, there was a lot of heartache, there was a lot of seeming trouble still behind all of that. There's awareness of what this is, there's awareness of this patterning. So, first is just awareness. This is patterning playing out. Anything that's coming up that seems like it's upsetting, that is patterning playing out. That's all it ever is. So I'm watching my mind for months. I'm just watching my mind and what comes forth and and you know, trying different things, experimenting for me is going and and you know, kind of like dipping into different ways of seeing, seeing from different angles, seeing for different ways, seeing what feels good, right? So as I'm doing that, I'm seeing more and more patterns arising, and I and I'm seeing how they're layered. So, whoo, we've had so many. I've been writing about this for probably like a year and a half. I'm not sure. I think about a year and a half, because at one point competition started up, and I was like, whoa, I see that. See, I I can see what other people are confused about, they'll continue to go down that same path. I could see, oh my gosh, that is actually competition. And I just called it out. I was like, that's competition, right? And then I'd see more and more and more and more. And I'm like, oh, and you know, I tell my friend, I'm like, hey, this is not personal. I'm seeing patterns. You can join with me if you want and look at the patterns if you like. We could we could do that, right? But it was just like, oh, everything was just like so personal, and so I just said, Well, I I'm gonna continue to do what I do, like you don't have to follow. What I do, and I think he's not following what I do anymore because it just got intense for him, you know. At least he said that, but he said that before, and then it turns out he's busting my balls for something I posted. Right. So, so you know, then I start seeing these darker patterns playing out, like the the kind of patterns that that um that when followed by mass consciousness serve as like this foundation and support for child trafficking and shit like that, and all this abuse of women and children, right? This is something that started way back. You could say, um, gosh, who knows? Uh just this attempt to keep women and children as if they're like a lower class, second class, something like that. And it took me a while to see something like that because I didn't have a lot of experiences like that to go on. Um, by the way, I was raised. But uh, but now I see I see these underlying patterns that kind of like keep a woman's perspective. It's a subtle thing, but it's keeping a uh a feminine perception perception. It doesn't have to necessarily be woman-bodied, but a feminine way of seeing to keep that quiet. So the male, the the male, the masculine can keep running around doing what he's doing, what he thinks is fun, but he's also confused. And it's like when both of them come together and go, okay, the masculine leads in truth, and then also, you know, as and also the feminine guides in truth. It's like the leadership is in the world with the masculine, and the feminine is in the is in the guidance toward peace. It's kind of like it, that's what it seems to me, kind of like this um marriage between the two. So, like for me, what manifested because there is so much masculine going on, kind of like suppressing the the feminine, the part that's like aware of sensation and flow, right? Kind of like suppressing that for what the masculine, basically, this leadership in form, felt like it had to do. So it's kind of like this this suppression, and then seeing it manifest in these different ways. So then I got another one, I saw another pattern. Oh, just recently, just this week. It's like, oh, okay, that's where I attached agenda to it, and it wasn't like um I said, okay, I'm gonna attach agenda an agenda to this. No, not at all. It was just like the patterning that was already um installed. You can say it's kind of like software that's been installed was just pulling, and I knew that if I tried to suppress it, that was not gonna help me. So I just let myself dive right into it, just dive into that feeling, dive into, you know, definitely my thoughts were occupied about him all the time, all the time. He was the only thing I wanted to uh uh hang out with, see, do anything with, think about. It was like constant, and it was, and the thoughts were triggering a feeling that was so intensely light and loving and orgasmic in my energy field. It's like, oh my goodness, it's like, how can I resist? And see, it's not to resist, it's just to watch. See, when you go through it, when you walk through it enough and you see the effects of it, when it rolls back around, it's like again, it's like, okay, be alert here. Watch what's going on. You're not gonna get it right or wrong, just watch what's going on, watch how you know, if your mind is going to playing, it's like I could have said no to that in any moment, but I didn't want to. It felt too good to think about him, it felt too good, right? So on the other end of it, where it started to feel really painful, then obviously I don't want to think about it anymore, right? And the only reason it's so painful is because I built it up to be so pleasurable. This is why Jesus is talking about fantasy is very uh, I think he says dangerous. That might be the word. I'm not exactly sure, but that's the feeling I got about it. It's like it's detrimental to your mental health. So I could recognize right away that I want to be released from these thoughts now. I'm not interested in going through thoughts about him if they're just gonna be all painful because he's not here. Right? So that's where I get to see a lot more because now I'm willing to give up the thoughts because I could see, oh yeah, I don't need to hold on to any of this. So that's just a matter of watching as they replay, as the thoughts replay, and that's what I've seen over and over again over many months is a thought'll replay, even like fuck that guy, you know, and it'll just just noticing it, it's enough, is recognizing. Oh, because see what happens, this is what happens for people. I spoke with a woman this week, she said she had her heart broken and she's never been the same, and not in a good way. I'll never be the same either. I will never feel like that again. That's fucking awesome. Right? I don't have that same mentality that I had when I was like, fuck, let's experience this. Right? I was even like at the time, I was like, no way am I passing this up. That was the energy. It was like, do you remember that, Natalie? I was like, no way am I passing this up. That's not happening. It may be an ego trip. I'm not passing it up. And I'm so glad I didn't. I'm so glad I didn't because it was fucking awesome, right? Everything, all the different patterns I've seen, the way, oh my gosh, I realized I could just leave my husband, and then it was like, that's what's going on. And you know, the he the friend of mine, he had this idea that I left my husband for him, even though I kept telling him, no, I was leaving my husband, anyways. Just that once I found out I felt like I was in love with someone else, I was like, I'm not gonna keep living with him. It was just like that, that too. And you know, it was just like a catalyst for this freedom. It's like it's so beautiful. I'm happy about all the patterns, and you know, there was a there was a moment where um he was, you know, busting my balls, like I like to say, about my post, about doing a post, a couple posts. And um I'm like, well, yeah, I'm seeing those patterns, but I don't see those patterns as being problematic. I'm just pointing them out. Like I still like to hang out with you. I'm the one who decides whether I'm gonna play into them in the moment. Um, first I identify them. See, I recognize the pattern, like I recognize the pattern. He was using a strategy on me, and this is a common thing. Here's a common pattern people don't normally see. It's the male energy hooking the female energy, keeping her on the line, and it could be the other way around too, but I see it mostly like this keeping her on the line to extract warmth, to extract attention. And I'm like, for one, you don't need to do that. You know, like if I fucking like you, we're gonna be hanging out, and like you know, do you go even deeper that than that? Why do I even like you? It's good for teaching and learning, that's why I like you. So I don't need that fucking energy play, like maybe I'm gonna get some dick down the road. Okay, that's not like uh that's that's that's not something that um makes me dance, let's say, right? I can see it, I see what it is. So, in that it's not like I go and accuse the person of doing it to me because they're not doing it to me. It's coming out of my own mind. I can play with that energy because now I see what it is. Right? I see it. I see what that is. And it's like, you know, basically, it's like, hey, that's not how to get my attention by manipulating. It doesn't work that way. Maybe it used to. I think that's the that's the training I gave. It used to work. That kind of manipulation worked, and then I went away for like nine months and came back and it didn't work anymore. For a second it did. I was like, man, what the fuck? I'm like walking up the steps to where I'm I'm staying at Marina's house, and I'm like, oh ah, like the what if and the hoping and everything. I was like, wait a second, it was almost like I jumped out of my body. Wait a second, you're playing into something here, and then I just went and I lay down on my bed and I lay down in complete silence and I let myself see. Instead of going to bed in a blissful fantasy of what might occur, I went into a blissful state of seeing what patterns being played, and is that where I want to place my attention? And there's no right or wrong answer, it's it's fine. I mean, before I left Hawaii for Mexico, I knew darn well. I knew darn well. It was funny. He'd be sitting there and he'd be telling me something, and I'm like, that's fucking manipulation. Oh well, let's go. I even told him that before. Well, I don't know if I told him it was manipulation, but he goes, I know after what you've been through with me, you know, you probably don't trust me. And I'm like, trust you. I'm like, no. You want to connect again? You want to have sex again? Let's do it. I don't trust you. I trust you to give me what I need. I don't trust you in that way. Like, I trust you not to flake out and freak out again 10 minutes after sex is done. It's not really 10 minutes, it's more like eight hours or so. You know, there's a little bit of a glow there. And then no, by the time I came back, there was no fucking way that was happening. You know, when he told me something to kind of string me along, I'm like, take your time, bro. I don't want anything like that. That was hot, yeah, it was really hot and really high, but then it was also really low. No, I'm done. I'm good. I'm good on that. There are other dicks that are really cute, and maybe you want to play games that are more rooted in truth. Maybe they do. That's what I like. That's what I like. Rooted in truth. I mean, I love to have a relationship with someone where I'm just like, hey, that's manipulation. Really, it's like an opportunity. Like what I'm presenting is an opportunity to go, oh shit, I don't want to be manipulating you, which is basically what I'm doing. And you know, in this case, it's like it's it's almost like the the response is almost like I can't help but manipulate you. So I'm just gonna stay away from you. I can't help but try to manipulate you. He's wasn't manipulating me, but I can't help but try to manipulate you. That's the like without saying that, that's the uh kind of like the response I'm getting. And that's like, okay, I understand. I mean, no problem. Yeah, you either need to find someone to manipulate that can't tell you're manipulating them, right? Or you or you gotta go, you know what? Fuck, show me. I don't want to be manipulating anyone. Fucking show me how I'm

Manipulation, Money, And Evil Conscience

SPEAKER_02 1:21:10

doing this so I can stop doing it. Right? I mean, it seems to me that uh if you're using manipulation, you would want to see that. I like to see it in myself too. And you know what? I noticed a little bit of it with Tony, and I was really glad when he said, you know what? I want to take space away from you. I know we're gonna be good friends, but I need to basically take time to heal my heart, right? I was really glad when he said that because I would, I was already noticing patterning where you know he's hopeful that he's gonna um win me back, right? And I would honestly uh love that if that was how it how it was, and how it seemed to me. Like if it was like, oh yeah, I want, oh yeah, that's what I want. I mean, yeah, if I want it, I want that. Um, but he definitely gave me more money when he uh when he was trying. Let's say when he was trying, okay. So I noticed subtle ways where I would encourage him to try and the undercurrent of the money being there. And you know, this is the thing about the evil conscience. If you look, you'll see it's operating a lot, and the only thing to do is recognize when it's operating. So I recognize when it's operating and just recognize, oh, I don't want that feeling, I could feel it in my energy field. I don't know, that is not something I want to do. I want to don't want to embody that kind of energy. Like I want to keep him on the hook somehow because he's naturally more generous with me and gives me more money. So next thing you know, I'm telling him about my dating. And you know, I'm not even thinking anything of it. I'm telling him about how I'm dating, I'm on dating app and I'm talking about sex really freely and stuff like that. And that was the last conversation where he's like, okay, I gotta take some space, you know. And in the moment, I was just expressing, I was giddy about it, you know. I consider him my friend and talking to him about it. Apparently, it wasn't going over well for him, it did not feel good for him. So then he decided uh that he didn't apparently, no one's really making these decisions that he didn't want to talk to me for a little while. We've been talking since. Um, so when he said that, I felt a huge relief within myself. I'm like, oh, thank goodness. Because kind of in a way, he was manipulating himself. That's what I saw, you know, because I was also giving a lot of um communication. Like the whole time I was there in Hawaii, I was giving, you know, that kind of communication. I still noticed the underlying patterns, I still noticed the hooks, this evil consciousness. And it and, you know, it's like this, it's like the wounding. Conscience, conscience, conscience, conscience, yes, yeah, yeah. It's like evil conscience, yeah, not consciousness. Um, and and the difference is the conscience is this sense of guilt, sense of lack. A sense of lack would have you manipulating a person for money, right? Uh, and and and not just a sense of lack, but also believing in the sense of lack. So we want to see through our sense of lack. Now, to me, from my perspective, I'm living off donations right now, and I'm really enjoying that. I'm not thinking about going out and getting a job or anything like that. So there's a lot of different layers that come up for me in this, and it's really good. So, one of them is um this sense like I gotta keep him on the hook so he keeps on giving me more money. Because when he has a girlfriend, he gives me less money. That's just how it is. Okay. So now apparently he has a girlfriend and he's definitely giving me less money, and um it's it's like it's not like I'm having any kind of argument about it or anything like that. It's just like, okay, that's what it is, right? So got the sense like, what if I can't continue to do this, right? Which is just like basically chill out, right? And let uh and let spiritual uh awakenings just arise for me, right? Without having a job or something like that. So it was shown to me that in the event that a job is needed, because I could be put into a job just because I'm meant to be uh engaging with those particular people. That's where the joy is, whatever it is, you know, wherever I go, I'm bringing the joy. So that's what's going on. Um, it'll just be revealed to me. I don't have to pre-plan, I don't have to try to gear up or anything like this. It's just going to be shown to me in the moment if there is some kind of way I need to earn money. Um and then to not try to plan, to not try to budget, to not try to plan, that is still the guidance. It's just not, you know, and you know how I know it's the guidance because when my mind moves that that way, it's too much control. It feels like it, it feels like that in my energy field. I do not need to exercise that much control at this point in time. You may need to. It depends on how much you've undone that lack mentality, really. I you know, I'm I'm very tuned in to apparently what needs to be purchased in the moment. Notice it. It's like I just, I just really, you know, go, okay, it seems like I I've I would benefit from, is that even a way? I don't know. There's it seems like I'm inspired toward this particular thing and just sit with it.

unknown 1:27:59

Right?

SPEAKER_02 1:28:00

Is this helpful? Does this serve what's true? Until you start to notice the difference. You just notice the difference in the guidance. Let the sensations be like signals. If it's between two things, just notice how it feels. And also recognizing you're not making those decisions in the world, even whether to do them or not. You're recognizing what it is that you do like. If you don't like it, it's not bad. It just means you don't have to keep that perception. It's all perception. There's nothing really there. You don't have to keep that perception. You don't have to keep it the way it is for you.

Health, Healing, And Medical Systems

SPEAKER_02 1:29:09

It's like when some symptoms come up, you're like, oh, I'm sure it's gonna reveal itself. I was just sharing with my mom the other day because she was talking about how she has all this cancer. And I go, you know, we've outgrown that we don't have to get cancer cut off our skin anymore. Like skin cancer, you don't have to get that stuff cut off anymore. She's like, What do you mean? I go, Well, there's topical stuff now, you know, and basically this is an effect of patterning. This is how patterning is. We're asking for it, right? So I had uh I had the sense that I had some kind of thing that seemed like skin cancer right on top of my nose, maybe like 10 years ago, and it would flake up and it would get all crusty and come just like the description of carcinoma, right? So I go, this is like 10 years ago. I was pretty tuned in 10 years ago. I'm impressing myself right now. I go, I'm sure it's gonna work itself out. I didn't do a fucking thing about it. Nothing. I didn't put sunblock on it, and I lived in Hawaii. So I'm cruising in a farmer's market, and this woman, this friend of mine, tells me that she just made this uh ganja resin that she's been putting all over her skin cancer, and it's been working. And I'm like, no shit, you just made that stuff. She's like, Yeah, and her husband was like, Yeah, we don't have to get these things cut off anymore. These were two white folk, right? They had been going to doctors for years getting their cancer cut off. So next thing you know, they got this super thick ganja oil. Now they sell it nowadays. This is how the mine works. Amazing. Nowadays, they sell it in the ganja shops. It's called Rick Simpson oil, but it's the kind that's super, super stick and goopy. So I put that stuff on my nose every night before bed, and it wasn't even like weeks before the thing is gone, right? By that point, it had eaten a little bit of a hole in my nose, apparently. That seems to be. I was looking at it the other day. I was like, shit, that that didn't happen. There's no evidence. Kind of like there's no evidence of our house in Lani Puna Gardens, zero evidence of the Johnson clan in Lani Puna Gardens. In case you're just tuning in, it was taken by Lava in 2018. It was awesome. So, see, this is one thing that trips me out. The medical system, right? It's all about poisoning people, it's all about poisoning them into submission. Submission to what? Submission to a system that's based on capitalism. This is a big part. It's hand holding with the suppression suppressing women thing, suppressing the feminine thing. Okay, it's hand holding with that. It's like as if you need poisons. Look at this is limited consciousness, limitless consciousness, right? Limitless, it could have anything, and it's going, I'm gonna believe that if I don't get poisons ingest injected into me, it's gonna make me less healthy. It's like, what in the world? If anyone takes uh the label on any one of those poisons, vaccines, blood pressure medicine, cholesterol medicine, whatever it is, take each one individually, look at the label, skull and crossbones on the label. Hello. I uh really and so you're okay. Look at the logic here, it's like let's believe these people that are telling us poisons are healthy, right? Of course, they're neither healthy nor unhealthy, but the mind makes them what they are, it's kind of like a wave in the ocean. It's a pattern. Okay, not a pattern you're trying to do. No one's trying, no one's really trying to do this pattern, but they're not recognizing it as a pattern, they're recognizing their body as uh as a reality and something outside of it as if it can affect its reality. So then they're listening to authorities, which they also believe affect their reality. So the authorities, in this case, it's really the media and other people because mass uh it becomes like a mass brainwashing, and everyone brainwash themselves, everyone brainwash each other to believe that poisons lead to health. Okay. You can find it. I might read it one time on a wisdom dialogue so you guys can get the brunt of this Luciferian covenant. Now, the way it's presented is there's a few people in the world who know that we're all one, who know that, um, who know how consciousness works, who know our power, and are who are literally manipulating us to use our power for their purposes. Now, whether that's true or not is debatable, right? You don't have to believe that anything like that is happening to recognize the pattern. Look at the pattern. If you listen to the Luciferian covenant and look at the pattern that's been playing out, I know I can observe for a span of what 40 some years when I was coherent as to what's going on, um around 50 years, right? Um witness that this is this is the pattern, though. Whether or not there's any Satanists up in high power pulling strings isn't even relevant. It doesn't matter, it's neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is this is the pattern that's playing out. Hello, guys. Okay, don't take the medicine. Uh, it's not just in a physical form, uh, it's also in a form of making you afraid of your body, right? Like you need to get vaccinated for everything, making you afraid of not having enough money to afford the things that you need. Your fear of not having enough money to afford the things that you need brings about that manifestation. That's the trick. Notice how just about everyone seems to be living in poverty. Where I find myself, I'm just not living in poverty. I don't buy into it. I know, you know, the finances don't have to reflect to me that I'm okay for me to be not living in poverty. That shift occurred for me like a year and a half ago, and it continues to deepen. That's not saying that financial worry kind of thoughts don't still circle around in my consciousness. They most certainly do. They just don't have that kind of pull anymore. For me, they bring up kuleana, right? That's Hawaiian word. It's kind of like responsibility, but more like the kind of responsibility I'm talking about today, where we give response to our perception. So if in my perception there seems to be scarcity, that's exactly where I'm giving response. It's like, oh yeah, that we've already outgrown that. That's been my thing lately. I'm like, I've outgrown that. We've outgrown that. Right? It's like once you can see that you don't need that particular pattern, we've outgrown that. Once we could see that we could use something like Rick Simpson oil to put on our things that seem to be cancer, we've outgrown cutting it out. See that? It's an easier, gentler solution. Our mind is creative uh without any limitation on possibilities. That means anything can be a cure for us. And you know, I love that it's this ganja oil for these seemingly cancerous things. For one thing, it smells good, it tastes good. And you know what kind of side effects it seems to have? Better skin. Fuck. How nice is that? What kind of a cancer cure gives you that in the medical system? See? And you know, what you could say is this is more like it's closer to God's system, right? It's closer to what I'm talking about is God's system, but God's system isn't in form at all. I mean, when it comes to natural forms, that's closer to God's system, right? But it's not quite God's system. In fact, it's still far off from it. Because in God's system, there's never any problem in the first place that you need anything for. There are no needs in God's system. God's system is a hundred percent uh fair and equitable to everyone a hundred percent of the time. No human system could match it, no illusory system can match it. However, while we're dreaming, we're still using patterns. So it's like, what kind of pattern would you accept for yourself? Would you accept something gentle? See, that for me was the case. I was in a spiritual awakening at the time. I was keenly aware that there was nobody. I was at that point, my mind was like, you know, if cancer needs to spread to my face, it can. Whatever arises is gonna be fine. And then it just, you know, it just pops up like at a farmer's market, someone tells me about it. I was like, oh, I'll try that. Right? I didn't go visit a doctor to get a diagnosis or anything like that. I've had enough of that. I tried that for like 20 years. I mean, I got so many signs going through that. Just it, if you look at it, it's an experiment, right? At one point I took antibiotics for something because I just took antibiotics whenever I got like some kind of thing. Um, and and and what I noticed is I got some kind of thing way more often. It's very rare now. Back then it was way more often that I'd need something. At one point, I was shitting out like a white or white, clearish white, slimy shit. I'm like, oh, what is going on here? Okay. First thing in that experiment, I was just like, I'm getting off whatever I'm on right now. Like, I mean, whatever, I'm not gonna go back to the doctor and try to get something else for the white slimy shit that's coming out of my my ass. This is just not natural. This can't be natural. All right, the systems are designed to control your mind so that I'm talking about the man-made systems now, those kinds of patterns, those are also patterns. That's why that's why you have command. These are all patterns, and your mind is all powerful beyond the patterns. So that's why you have command. It's just a matter of seeing more and more how to use it. So these systems convince you that you need them for one.

Scarcity Thoughts And System Collapse

SPEAKER_02 1:42:15

Look how scared people get. If the system's collapsing, you guys, the system's collapsing, it can't help it, it cannot help it. Consciousness is awakening. I'm seeing it in leaps and bounds. People who were not awake before are what like what staunch Trump supporters, right? Now they're they're going, wait a second, maybe it's all the same team. Oh, fuck about time. Welcome. Maybe they're really actually on the same team because it's a team that's meant to pull the wool over everyone's eyes, right? The system of corporations, that's another one. Oh, it's falling apart, it's falling away. Do I know how long it'll take? No, I have no idea how long it'll take. Um, we're definitely in the process, that's obvious. And I can tell by the awakening, the way people are waking up and seeing things, even their responses to me have calmed down a bunch, right? As far as like when I'll make a comment on someone's post, a lot of the times it's really weird compared to all the other comments. Um, people actually be like, thanks. Right? Way more often. And of course, that's a reflection for my mind, and it's also a reflection of mass consciousness. I see mass consciousness uh uh transforming right now, and the more uh the more the systems do this kicking and screaming thing, basically the the it's like the systems are kick themselves, are kicking and screaming. They want to sustain their lives. The more people are seeing, we have no need for that, you know, because we're completely sourced from within. I know that might be a little bit of a jump for a lot of the people who are awakening right now, but um the I but I know for sure that the more I see it for myself, the more I'm helping everyone to see it. That is the giving and receiving. The gift is now. That is it. That's the giving and receiving. So let me walk you through this, okay? A thought of scarcity comes up for me. It looks like this my mind will go to trying to calculate how much money I'm gonna get in a month, which I don't fucking know. I live off donations, apparently, right? So my try, my mind will try to go to calculating that, and maybe it'll get a rough, it'll get as far as giving getting a rough um calculation and then a rough calculation of what my expenses will be. And then there's there's oh, that's not useful, actually. Not useful to me. It might be useful for someone else who has more fear around those things. They're gonna find it useful, and that's okay. It's not it, it's not a hurry, you're not in a race to be released of fear. It's just your willingness to go in that direction, and all of your experiences are bringing up the opportunities for that. And it and if you'll see it as an opportunity, you'll be able to seize the opportunity. Okay. So for me, that doesn't mean anything to me. I'm like, that doesn't even mean anything to me. I'm I have I have the faith, and this is not like um anything like better or worse or anything like that. It's just recognizing I have the faith for it. I have the faith for what? I have the faith for not following my mind into budgeting kind of thoughts. I have the faith for that. So it's recognizing what you have the faith for. What can you do without fear? And and and one way to look at it is like this. What if I get the perception that I totally overspent and it seemed like I caused my own demise? How do I know I have the faith for it? That's okay with me if I get that perception. And I, you know, just like right now in the moment, I go, okay, if I get that perception, is okay with me? Yeah, it is. I don't have fear of that perception because I know it's not true for one, and I know I can't really do that to myself. So speaking of that, no one can do anything to affect their health. Okay, this is how it plays it, it plays in. If you perceive someone, let's say they smoke for 50 years and then they get lung cancer. It seems like their smoking did that to them. This will help you go very fast, very fast, very easily, if you would be willing to recognize they cannot affect their health by something that they did, and neither can you. That's why it's the giving is receiving, because you're giving truth and that truth applies to you as well. See? So when you're when you're recognizing, even though that person might think they did it to themselves, doctors tell them that. Oh, my mom told me something like that, man. I'm like, wait a second, what did you say? Did you just say that you have to? Oh, it was a conversation with a doctor she was telling me about. She's like, the doctor tells me I've been a very bad girl. And I'm like, you're letting him talk to you like that. And she goes, Well, I did go in the sun, and I go, Mom, you're giving power to something right now that happened in the past. The past does not exist. You are giving power to that and making it as if you deserve this punishment now, and the doctor's agreeing with you. My mom's like, oh my goodness, what do I do? So if you're in a situation like that, here's what I share. What do you do? You recognize what's true. No, that's laughable. That your sunbathing back then in the 80s is now doing something to your body when in the way of a bunch of skin cancer that you have to get cut out. And the doctor agreeing with you is something you set up. He's like a device of your mind to agree with you, say, yes, you have been very bad to your body back in those years when you did all that sunbathing. No wonder you're lucky I'm here to cut these things off of you. Right? So my mom changed her point of view right there. Uh, she's very open like that. I love that. Uh, I love having conversations with her. And she goes, Oh my goodness, she can correlate biblical verses to this that uh that actually support what I'm saying too. So she correlates like that, and she goes, Oh, and I go, and by the way, we don't do that anymore. She's like, Hope, are you mean to tell me I don't have to get cancer cut off of me anymore? I go, no, yes, that's what I'm saying. You don't have to do that anymore. And um, it's like, we we've already passed that. We've been doing this. And so then, uh, and so, and so then she's like, got just got so much relief and was just so relief too, so much relief too, that you can't, you actually can't use that. You cannot use sunbathing as a cause of your cancer. If you do that, you make you you give the justification to the cancer. And it and it's not just that, it's that's not that's only just one sickness, one manifestation of mental illness that you're making. Because it's mental illness to believe that you're affected right now by. The past you're only projecting now that'll change the way you relate with everything, thank goodness memories back from uh like four and five years old, and we get the little doctor kits, you know, they package a toy.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:22

Oh yeah, and oh how much fun to play doctors with each other. And it was all about the accessories. I mean, what girl doesn't love accessories? Yeah, like ooh, fun, colorful accessories to play with.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:37

Well, yeah, she's she's talking about, you know, when we grew up in the 80s, um we had 70s and 80s, actually. That was probably 70s. Um, we had a game called Doctor. I don't know if you guys still have that. I haven't I haven't looked in the game section, but we had a game called Doctor, and you would you would actually like have a little satchel with all your tools and everything. I'll tell yeah, the stethoscope, everything. I'll tell you what, I don't know if all the kids were like me and my friends, but those ended up sexual. We always wanted to probe in all areas. I don't know if they still have games like that anymore because we were so wild. Natalie fucking can relate to ma'am. We were we were the kids where where the parents said, I don't know if this was for you too, Natalie, or you had friends like this. Don't come in the house all day. You're not allowed in. Kids were second-class citizens. We were not allowed in the house during daylight hours. And if we were thirsty, we drank hose water. We did not come in for water, we did not ask for shit. They told us when it was lunch. If we came around asking for stuff, a foot would come out and kick us. You younger kids don't know, man. But you know, we found stuff to do, and a lot of it was sexual. So I think that I I think that the the the so-called powers that be, which is really the ego, is like, okay, we need to clamp down on this on them more. We can't have them this free, you know. They go out, they just they they're just outside experimenting. This cannot be. Our parents didn't give a shit where we were either.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:39

We could be gone all day, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:52:42

Yeah, my parents they would take us to Niagara Falls, which is like no railings, yeah. Just yeah, jump right in about 30 seconds later, you would have been going to have Niagara Falls.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:58

Well, that's the thing. That's the thing. It's fire marshal billshit, right? I mean, like I was talking about earlier, my four-year-old knew not to get close to the edge of the roof. He he didn't he didn't try try to jump off the roof, he didn't even try to fall off the roof, didn't even get close to it, you know, or the babies with knives. It's like this idea, something seems to happen, and then all of a sudden it's because not enough safeguards were put up, right? That's the idea. And you know, that's that's how perception works. We wanted to fool ourselves, we're fooling ourselves, we're doing a good job. But you know, when you're ready to look through the foolery because you're done with the suffering that goes along with it, you you just you look in a different way, you you give response in a different way, you recognize illusion as illusion, right? It lets you see what the truth is. For one, we're one. Okay, so there's so there's nothing that I can give or receive that's not coming from me. There's only one of us. See, and the reason you benefit when I'm giving and receiving again is because there's only one of us. Everyone benefits when we give and receive to ourselves. That's what this extension, it's basically an extension of truth. You're extending it uh to a person, to an object, it doesn't matter. Recognizing that an object is spirit, is giving and receiving. Recognizing that this cup is spirit, you know, having that realization, having that recognition, that's giving and receiving in truth. Because now you're not seeing it as an ego, as just something to hold tea. See, it can still be used as something to hold tea that does not change the utility of it in the dream. But when you're seeing it as spirit, you're giving and receiving the truth within yourself. You're seeing yourself as spirit, and that is so uplifting. So, hooray, everyone!

Break Announcement And Where To Listen

SPEAKER_02 1:55:18

Yay! This is my last wisdom dialogues for one. I guess it's one week. I'm taking one week off, and I'll be back for wisdom dialogues in two weeks. I'm also not having an ACIM deep dive this Wednesday. I will be back next Wednesday with the next ACIM deep dive. In the meantime, I'm gonna try to keep up with posting. I'll probably just post a bunch and schedule them so that my so that my talks get posted while I'm taking a little break, maybe once every two days. I have quite a few of them, a little bit backlogged there. You can find my talks on YouTube, Hope Johnson Wisdom on YouTube. You can also find them on Substack. Um, is it Awesome Hope Johnson on Substack? I'm not sure right now, but I'm on Substack. You can also find me on Facebook, Hope Akea Johnson, I believe it says, or you could put Hope Johnson of IE. I am not posting my videos to Facebook, but you can get those on my website as well, hopejohnson.org. This is entirely funded by donations. Your donations are appreciated. You can do that at hopejohnson.org as well. Also, there's an option to do monthly. A lot of my friends have done that so far. You know, some people donate as little as 10 bucks. Some of my friends, one of my friends donates 500 bucks. You know, it's like whatever it is that feels in alignment for you. There's an easy way to do that on my website. And if it gets you, it gives you any problem, I can do it just directly on Stripe so you can get a hold of me if you want. Check my website for my book, also for the videos, like I said. Also, if you're listening to this and you'd like to join live, the links are also there on my website under free resources. Look for my wisdom talks. I also have fully recorded 365, all 365 ACIM lessons with contemplation. Those are all free on my website, also on podcasts. If you're just if you just want to bring it up on your podcast, like Spotify or anything like that, I have two podcasts. One of them is Hope Johnson Wisdom. The other one is Hope Johnson ACIM. Those are the uh course in miracles lessons that I read and contemplated. So have a big fun time on my website. If you ever have any questions, you can use the chat. Um, that goes directly to my phone, kind of like a text. So, yay, everyone. I love you so much. Thank you. Yes, what fun! Yay, thank you, everyone. Until next time, I'm going to have a lot of fun. Um and over there in Mississippi, and I'll probably have stories. So be sure to tune in to the next wisdom dialogues, which is going to be in two weeks. And today's the twelfth, so that'll be the twenty-sixth of April. Yay! I love you guys.