Mercy Restores Vision | June 3, 2026 | A Course in Miracles Deep Dive | Chapter 3, Section 3, P.11 S.6 - P.13 S.3

Podcast Description

What if the entire spiritual framework of guilt, payment, and sacrifice is based on a misunderstanding?

In this ACIM Deep Dive, Hope Johnson explores one of the most radical teachings in A Course in Miracles: sacrifice is completely unknown to God. From there, the conversation unfolds into a profound examination of fear, guilt, mercy, self-victimization, and the hidden ways we continue sacrificing ourselves in the name of love, spirituality, responsibility, and service.

Why does fear block learning? Why do guilt-based teachings ultimately fail? What does it mean to be merciful to yourself? And why does Jesus say that anyone unable to leave the requests of others unanswered has not entirely transcended egocentricity?

This deep dive challenges some of the most cherished spiritual assumptions, including the belief that suffering proves sincerity, self-denial earns worthiness, or giving until it hurts is evidence of love.

Topics include:

• Fear as the foundation of sacrifice
• Why guilt creates aggression and projection
• Mercy versus punishment
• Self-victimization and spiritual martyrdom
• The hidden ego in people-pleasing and rescuing
• Edgar Cayce and the cost of self-sacrifice
• Guidance versus obligation
• Why true giving never feels like depletion
• Atonement without sacrifice
• The difference between the crucifixion and the resurrection

Throughout the discussion, Jesus' teaching remains consistent: innocence does not need payment, love does not require sacrifice, and God's Will for you is perfect happiness.

From Chapter 3, Section III: "Atonement Without Sacrifice" in the Complete & Annotated Edition of A Course in Miracles. 🙏✨

Transcript

Welcome And Tuning In

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Aloha and welcome to a Course in Miracles Deep Dive with Hope Johnson. We are reading from the complete and annotated edition, which came out in 2021. It's a purplish-looking book. You don't need the book to follow along because I will go nice and slow. So let's begin by tuning in. To tune in, just feel into your body. Notice your body's energy field. Notice what kind of energy sensations are taking place there. Tune your mind to that rather than the repetitive thoughts that keep playing and circling around. Thank you, everyone. Thank you so much for joining. Thank you for your willingness to see, however, slight that might be right now. And thank you to Jesus for showing us this mind training course: how to train our mind to see past the insane ideas that prop up this world, including shame and guilt, and punishment and payment. Thank you so much for all of the patience and love and care that you have shown. And I mean you, as in you, all of you. Thank you. I love you. Let's begin. Yay. We're also live on Facebook, which I can't see right now for some reason. So I'm not seeing your comments, I don't think. But maybe, maybe I will see your comments if they start coming once they start coming in. I only see my own comment there. Aloha. Oh, it's nice that you're here. Thank you, Constance. Okay.

Why God Does Not Know Sacrifice

SPEAKER_01 2:11

So I'm going to start out with a summary. We're on chapter three, section three, paragraph 11, and we're going to start on sentence six, but I'm going to summarize sentences one through five, which we did before. And let's see, paragraph 11. And this begins on page 114 and over to 115. So to summarize this paragraph, it starts with sacrifice is a notion totally unknown to God. So God doesn't think in terms like a human thinks, regular human associated with a sense of self. God doesn't think in terms of exchange, loss, payment, earning, right? We earn a living here, apparently. Suffering, giving anything in order to receive something else. Okay, the concept of sacrifice only exists within the ego's framework. And that's because the ego believes that something has gone wrong and something must be paid for. So this notion of sacrifice, what Jesus said in sentence two was it arises solely from fear of the records. Now, what that means is the records refer to this collection of guilt, mistakes, sins, grievances. It's basically what we call karma, past errors. So the belief in sacrifice in the first place comes from fear that these records are real. It comes from fear that punishment is deserved. I mean, look at the way the normal way of talking, it's like something has to be paid for. You know, even in our system, it's as if something's been done and something needs to be paid for, okay. And then in sentence three, this is particularly unfortunate because frightened people are apt to be vicious. Right? So when we believe that there's actually records of wrongs that are real, we get the sense that we ourselves are not loving. It makes us want to punish ourselves and other people. Fear is what makes us project. When people believe they're guilty, you know what happens when people believe they're guilty? They become dangerous. And that's not because they're evil. There's no such thing as that. It's not because they're evil, but it's because fear seeks out protection through attacking. So this is you can say this is one of the one of the course in miracles' most practical psychological observations. See, people believe that fear makes people weak, but it actually makes people aggressive. No one's no one's really weak, right? A frightened mind believes that it's under threat, so it attacks. And it's guilt that makes the mind fearful. So so much attention is going uh into undoing the guilty self-concept. Thank you for letting me know, Cynthia. I'm glad you're on. I appreciate you. Okay, and then sentence four, I believe it is. Yes, sentence four. Good teachers never terrorize their students. Okay, that's because you can't teach the truth through fear. God never motivates his children through through threatening them. The Holy Spirit doesn't motivate that way either. There's no motivation through guilt. Now, I can say from my experience, I have bought into motivating myself through guilt. And I'm sure if you look at your experience, you'll see that. I mean, one simple thing is just like making myself work out when I was younger. It would all be guilt-driven. I'd start hating myself, and then that self-hatred would get to okay, this is what's going to motivate me. The trouble with that is it terrorizes the mind. Right? You may use guilt, you may use guilt to try to change the way you are, the way you are with people, the way you are in the world. Guilt doesn't help with that, though. You know, true change really comes through seeing truly. And to see truly is to learn that guilt and shame have no meaning. Fear can produce compliance. Like, look at a child who's afraid they're gonna get punished. They're probably gonna be good kids. I was, my parents had a belt and they weren't afraid of using it. So I was a good kid, pretty much. Unless I thought I wouldn't get caught. It can produce compliance, but it doesn't produce true learning. Real learning happens when the mind feels safe. So only a mind that feels safe can receive true correction. True correction is not punishment because it's not based on guilt and shame. Okay, the next sentence to terrorize is to attack. And this results in rejection of what the teacher offers. This is why guilt-based spirituality always fails. It always fails. And a lot of what's going on with spirituality, especially with that you create your own reality thing, it's in guilting people. Well, how did you manifest that kind of thing? See, that never creates true learning. And what I notice about most of spiritual people is when they're they're believing that they're guilty for manifesting the way they do, they're also looking outside themselves for a savior, right? If it's not, if it's not Jesus coming back like you know, Christians believe, it's something else. You know, it's aliens now. Aliens are coming to save you, right? That's the story. It always fails. Those aliens have been coming to save you for, I'm telling you, centuries. Okay. That's been the story for centuries. But to some people, it's new right now. And they are like any day now, those fuckers are coming to save us. No one's coming to save your ass. Okay, you you got to see that what you are is unassailable. That's what saves you. That's where your safety lies. When people are frightened into obedience, which is very common. Uh, we're talking about like in communities, even people are frightened into obedience. You're going to be ousted if you're not, if you don't obey, follow the crowd. It could be, it could be a community like a spiritual community, it could be a community like a work environment or just society in general. People may outwardly comply, but they're not really learning anything. Attack is always just producing more resistance. It's resistance to love. Whereas safety produces openness to love. In this in the sense of safety, the mind can feel free to open. So a terrified mind is not going to be able to hear the truth because it's busy, it's very busy defending itself, it's defending itself-image. Okay, so those are the first, I believe, four sentences. Five sentences. That's the first five sentences. And the main teaching is the ego is saying it you're guilty and therefore you must sacrifice. Jesus is saying, you are innocent and therefore sacrifice is unnecessary. So that's the first five sentences, basically, in a nutshell. The more fear is removed from your mind, the more learning becomes possible. The more guilt is removed from your mind, the less need there is, apparent need there is for sacrifice. So this chapter, the same perception, is turning regular human perception back to the truth because it's been upside down and backwards. So this is teaching us to recognize our innocence so that we can naturally become more gentle with ourselves and with everyone. And the reason for that is because when there's no fear of punishment, there's no longer a need to attack. That's what's going on all the time. You know, criminals. I heard recently there is like 20 boys on Oahu who are beating up one boy. You guys, I don't know if you guys heard that news, but you know, those those kids that are doing the beating up, they all feel guilty. So it's like they're scapegoating this one kid. They're attacking this one kid, you know, and now they're all in trouble. That's just a natural consequence of fear, right? Until you see that you could just surrender the fear, and even all the consequences go away. You surrender that belief that you're guilty, and even all the consequences, because even the consequences for meaninglessness have no meaning themselves.

Fear-Based Teaching Creates Learning Failure

SPEAKER_01 13:41

So we're moving on to sentence six, paragraph 11, sentence six, and this is on page 115. Again, this is a course in miracles, complete and annotated edition, came out in 2021. Sentence six. The result is learning failure. So Jesus is being practical here. He's saying fear-based teaching fails because fear is blocking learning, not partially, it's not partially blocking learning, it's fundamentally blocking learning. So look at most religion now. He's saying that fear-based teaching fails because fear blocks learning. You know, the concept of hell, like you're gonna go to hell that blocks learning. No one's learning anything. Who believes in that? Because a frightened mind can't truly receive correction, it's just preoccupied with trying to protect itself, it's actually projecting guilt outward to try to protect itself. When fear is active in the mind, the mind becomes organized around its own survival. It's not it's not directed toward true understanding. That's why this world has been able to go on for probably millions of lifetimes. Because no one's learning anything for the most part. The mind stops listening when it's in fear, it stops relaxing. Right? I know when I was a kid, I learned that Russia was gonna bomb us. Right? The whole the whole world is just projecting back to us that fear is real. So this chapter in particular, and of course, in miracles in general, is aimed at releasing us from fear that the world is constantly projecting. When the mind's in fear, it can't extend love, it can't be perceiving clearly. It's busy defending itself, it's filtering all the content for danger, right? Trying to preserve its own identity all the time, it's protecting its own concepts and conclusions, it just doesn't feel free to relax in love. It resists invulnerability, it protects vulnerability, and all of that, what Jesus is saying here, all of that obstructs learning. So this is the true spirituality, the true psychology. Okay, the true education. The true education is learning to see that guilt and shame have no meaning. Like I said earlier, people may comply out of fear. Look, we got laws that say, you know, if you steal, you're gonna get this, if you murder, you're gonna get this, right? Why am I why why don't I just go over there and murder that person who's been an asshole to me? Because there's a law about it, apparently. Right? So that's compliance. That's not true knowledge, that's not being loving, that's compliance when you're afraid, and that's why you don't do a thing. You memorize this information, you memorize what's going to get you in trouble. You suppress your own behavior. But true learning is the kind that actually transforms your perception. And that kind of learning cannot occur if your mind is terrorized. And for the most part, people's minds are terrorized. That's why a Course in Miracles aims at releasing us from the terror that the world put on our mind. Actually, we made the world because there is no world. We made the world to put it on our mind. And this learning is very different from what we made the world to teach us. Real learning is undoing this misperception that we're guilty, it's releasing us from fear, it's restoring right-mindedness. It's just like, oh, there's a surrender to truth and peace and no worry, no worrying about anything. Fear is directly interfering with this process. This is why Jesus is continually teaching the way he teaches, is through reassurance again and again and again. He says, Don't be afraid. He says, You're perfectly safe. He says, You're real, and nothing real can be threatened. He says, I am with you. He tells you you cannot lose. There's only winners in the happy game of salvation. And importantly, he's saying the separation never occurred. None of us are separate. We have one mind and it shares the same interests. So, so who's who's playing me in the background in the world? I hear myself on someone's phone. That's awesome. Thank you for thank you for listening to me as you're walking over. Thanks for coming. So Jesus isn't trying to get us, give us any sentimental comforts. That's not the kind of dude he is. He's not trying to get, you know, make us feel good in that way. Like he he loves us to feel good, of course, because God's will for us is perfect happiness. But what he's really trying to do, what his real aim is, is changing our perception completely. So we do not fear, we do not feel separate anymore. Okay. So being free from fear is necessary for healing the perception because only a relaxed mind can look honestly.

unknown 20:38

Right?

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Because what are we looking at? We're looking at what the world's been teaching us. Oh my goodness, it's always saying how terrible we are in all these subtle and not so subtle ways. You know, people I even hear people say they hate humans, right? That's because of this misperception. Humans are beautiful, humans are holy. Only a relaxed mind can look at this honestly and say, that's meaningless. Anything that says that we're guilty, that we're shameful, that we're bad, that we're dirty, anything like that, that's a meaningless thought. So only safety, not terrorizing people, allows our defensiveness to soften because we've been taught to be defensive. That's only gentleness allows our hidden fear to come up to the surface without triggering more resistance. Being gentle with one another, right? And importantly, being gentle with ourselves. So this is revealing something really important about awakening itself. The Holy Spirit does not heal through forcing, does not heal through punishing. The atonement does not mean punishment in any way, shape, or form. Healing happens through gradual release of fear. There's a fear-based resistance to the truth. And it's a gradual process that we undergo this release from fear. A lot of the times, what I see on spiritual groups is people being incredibly mean to one another. Incredibly mean. Trying to teach that way. But you know, it's not that they're bad, it's not that they're evil. That's the way they teach their own mind. You know, they got their own mind on loudspeaker. This is their self-talk. They're not learning anything, and they're not teaching anything. You could say they're just learning how to project the ego's same idea that we're sinful. That's why Jesus, through a Course in Miracles, is consistently emphasizing being patient, gentle, willing with ourselves and others, with ourselves and others, rather than emphasizing pressure, shame, even urgency. You gotta do this fast. You gotta do this right now. Truth doesn't fail anyone because truth is weak. Learning fails because fear is blocking our receptivity to it. So this is meant to help loosen fear. What is ours in truth, what we share together, but no one is separate from. Okay, so once again, that sentence, the result is learning failure. That's the result of terrorizing your students and yourself. Okay, the result is learning failure. Alright, I'm gonna check on you guys. See if you have any questions. You guys are looking good. You're squirming? What are you squirming about? All the unkindness to toward yourself is coming up right now. Well, good. Good. Let's let's undo it together. Yeah, yeah. You're in the right place. All right, let's go on to paragraph 11, sentence

Mercy Versus Daily Forms Of Sacrifice

SPEAKER_01 25:11

seven. This is page 115 from A Course in Miracles. Sacrificing others in any way is a clear-cut violation of God's own injunction that you should be merciful, even as your father in heaven is merciful. So we already uncovered before Jesus was saying, no way did God the Father order Jesus' death to save you guys. Okay, saying, No way did that happen. So it might be a surprise to you if you're just tuning in. Jesus is saying, you should be merciful even as your father in heaven is merciful. Okay, there's a footnote here, footnote 37, that comes from the some some version of the Bible, RSV, whatever that is, Luke 6:36. Be merciful even as your father is merciful. Okay, that came right from that verse. Wonderful. So this sentence, sacrificing others in any way, is a clear-cut violation of God's own injunction that you should be merciful even as your father is merciful. This sentence expands the idea that sacrifice beyond religion, okay? The idea of sacrifice and reveals how deeply it's permeating the ego's thought system beyond religion, even. It's okay if you're not religious. This is in the collective mindset, is what he's saying. Okay. Sacrifice isn't only about dramatic suffering, it includes all kinds of daily things. And I'm going to go over some of those with you guys. Any attempt to make a person carry any burden of fear or guilt or lack or self-preservation. Okay. Woo! I could see an instance where I did this before, and I'm like, whoa, no wonder it worked out like that. Where someone thought they owed me something, and I let them believe that because I wanted the thing that I thought that they owed me, or I wanted the thing that they thought they owed me? Oh my goodness. How often do we do that? Let people get away with that thought that says they owe you something. Oh, wow. So whenever the the ego believes, I must lose. Like, yeah, I must, I must lose less than you. You if you lose more than me, then I win. How often does that happen, like in divorce, for instance, right? I need to get the the the larger share. I need to get the larger share of the assets, otherwise, you know, I'm losing, right? That's why people go into big ass battles and stuff like that. Someone else should suffer so that I feel safe, right? How how does that how often does that happen? I mean, we just had a murderer running around here, right? He got caught now. And you you see the comments on Facebook, it's all about, man, you know, we want him to be suffering. Somehow that makes us feel safe. How does that make us feel safe? That's the that's the learning of the ego. Somehow, if he suffers, if he goes to jail and he never comes out, that's safety for us. You know, some people are saying we want him caught alive so that he can suffer more. That's a very common thing, isn't it? See these common worldly things that come up? It's like as if our safety is coming through someone else's suffering. This needs to be turned around. You owe me. That's another thing. You know, I've been I've been real careful with that. Like, you know, whenever I've seemed to own to give someone money, borrow someone some money, and the sense that they should pay me back, I'm real quick to just forget about that. This idea that anyone owes you anything, right? That's the also the ego's way. There isn't anything here. The world isn't real, okay. When you get pissed off at a person, notice how your mind moves to want non-peace for them. It just naturally, Christine's coming her face. Yeah, it's uh it's all day, every day.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

One thing that happened, here it is. Here it is yesterday, here it is today.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Yes. She's saying she's saying it's the same thing every day, every day. So this isn't to make us wrong for thinking like this. In fact, what Jesus is saying is we're not really capable of thinking like this, you know. And one of the lessons in a course in miracles, my mind holds only what I think with God. All right. So basically, that's why we're dreaming. That's why we're actually dreaming, that we're not seeing truly. So our being aware that these thoughts are causing us to dream and causing us to apparently suffer. We're not even really capable of that, but it sure is real to us, isn't it? So, so it's a matter of giving a little bit of willingness to see that these are ego-programmed thoughts that we do not want to keep. Okay. Also, I need something from you at your expense. This goes on so much in families, right? The parents want the children to go to school, for instance. Right? Uh that's that's amazing that it's just, you know, it's even part of the law, apparently. The law says you have to ensure that your children do this thing, right? What if they don't want to? What if they don't want to do it? You're supposed to make them, apparently. I don't even believe that. I'm like, take that to court. Okay, so these are these are different ways that sacrifice comes about, some of the different ways. And Jesus is saying that this violates mercy itself. Because all mercy does is recognize innocent. It does not demand payment from anyone, it does not demand anyone do anything they don't want to do, actually. This world is set up like you're supposed to do a bunch of shit that you don't want to do. Sacrifice. That's what that is. Sacrifice now, and your reward is coming later. So mercy doesn't demand any payment. Mercy is not involved in payment, it's not involved in earning anything. It doesn't insist on punishment before you get mercy. It doesn't use guilt as leverage. I mean, yeah, if a dude's running around killing each other, killing people, yeah. Refrain him from killing people. But the idea that he needs punishment to get better, that's only perpetuating the issue. It's making murderers. It's may we're actually making murderers. We're making them up. We're causing guilt and fear in the mind, and that's what leads to aggression. The person who murders has become so fearful and guilt-ridden that that's all they can do is attack. Well, mercy does not use guilt as any kind of leverage. So the ego's version of relationship is sacrificial without appearing to be sacrificial on the surface. It looks sacrificial to me, it doesn't look sacrificial to most people. All right. People sacrifice other people's freedom for their emotional security, right? Other people's other people's peace for their own validation. They should suffer. Wanting people to suffer. Wanting people to not be authentic, sacrificing people's authenticity. I've had that that reflection all the time because of the things I say. Shut the fuck up, hope. We don't want to hear that. Trying to control, right? Trying to control. Don't tell me that there's no guilt. That person is guilty and they need to die. For instance, President Trump. I've sure heard a lot of that. What he's doing, uh, and and that's just how the world is, of course. Sacrificing other people's well-being for your own comfort. Someone has to sacrifice so I can be better off. Other people's innocence. How often is are we sacrificing other people's innocence and wanting to point at someone and say they're the wrong one to preserve ourselves, right? Yeah. Thank you for, you know, Christine. Thank you for being willing to look. And this is this is where the safety comes in, right? How could you even be willing to look at the thought process like processes like this if I was over here teaching you through terror? Like you're going to hell, but you're, I need you to learn something. Well, I didn't look until that happened. It's just a concept. Until Christine is saying she didn't learn it till it happened live. She's saying it was just a concept until the other day. And that's when she was in a situation where her and another friend of mine were bickering, right? And then Christine asks, Hope, can you help us? And so we start bringing to the surface what kind of guilty concepts are playing out. And now Christine's going, Holy shit, now I see them everywhere. I'm doing this all day. It's okay, Christine. We all are. This is where the little bit of willingness comes in. See, see, this is why, this is why the the unwatched mind is not being watched. It's due to a guilty concept. But see, when you feel safe, when you feel loved and you feel held, see how you can look at it and not be defensive about it. It was only defensiveness that was preventing you from looking at it before. But now that you feel loved and held, and you're able to just look at these things. It cannot. And this is the correction Jesus keeps making throughout this entire section. This section three is called Atonement Without Sacrifice within the chapter called The Sane Perception. Love doesn't require anyone to be victimized, it doesn't demand anyone to suffer. Mercy reflects God. Mercy doesn't attempt, make any attempt to interpret anyone through the lens of guilt. No attempt to interpret anyone through the lens of guilt. Now, have you done this before? Have you done it today? It's okay. You're not guilty. Not guilty. Notice how, even when you're hearing this, the mind is programmed to go guilty. No, not guilty. Your mind was just blank. Your mind doesn't hold anything that you do not think with God. Only God's thoughts are in your mind. These are principles of the church taught. These are principles of the church taught. That's right. Yes. Yes. Well, that's because the Bible has a lot of truth and also a lot of guilt. Okay. So there's a there's this sense, you know, where there's there's resonance with parts of it, but there's also resonance with the guilty parts because we're naturally, we've been trained to be guilty. Go, yeah. That's why it's heaven and hell, right? So the footnote with the verse from the Bible be merciful even as your father is merciful. That's that's a Course in Miracles. That's Jesus constantly reframing God for us as completely non-punitive. I remember when I worked in a law firm as an at as an attorney as a law firm, if you screwed up, you would actually get punitive damages. And you would seek punitive damages from someone. Like if they if they did it really intentional or something, you teach you you seek punitive damages. That's where you can just get a shitload of astronomical amount of money, right? You all of a sudden get $50 million. That's called punitive damages. People are like, that's what we want. We want punitive damages against someone. We want to get someone for 50 million bucks and get a windfall. Really, no, you don't. That doesn't mean anything. It all leads to death, and you don't take 50 million with you when you die. So be merciful. We're not being indulgent toward these illusions. We want to be completely free of attack. That's our goal. And we're guaranteed to reach that goal through willingness. We're guaranteed to reach that goal. That's just willingness to see, not to make ourselves guilty, not to try to make ourselves better. Leave that up to the Holy Spirit to purify your mind. You just be willing to see what's truth and what's an illusion. Really, you just need to see what's an illusion. The truth will dawn on your mind. But the Holy Spirit's voice also speaks to truth in your mind. And it has nothing to do with guilt or anything. So any kind of relating that comes through condemnation, that's not God. So mercy is not weakness. Mercy is strength. It's accurate perception, it's accurately perceiving. And one of the beautiful things about the murders that just took place is one of the men who was murdered, who's a good friend of mine, and his daughter, who's also a friend of mine, she asked for mercy for the murderer. You know, she specifically asked for that. And, you know, that's a beautiful thing. She's speaking to a lot of people who believe that this person deserves punishment, which is what's what's taught. But, you know, in honoring her father, who's someone who always appreciated a course in miracles and wisdom dialogues, you know, and honoring her father and also coming from her own perception and how she perceives the world and how she's how she knows of truth. She's like, let's be merciful to this person. This is a person who's dealing with fear. This is a person who's dealing with guilt. It has made him aggressive. He's not naturally aggressive. No one is naturally aggressive. There's no such thing as an evil spirit. So to be merciful, really, what is it? It's to refuse to make guilt real. That's being merciful. And when you're merciful, you're the one who's receiving the benefit of that immediately. This applies also inwardly to yourself. The ego constantly wants you to attack yourself. I would say there's there's a there's a small distinction there. Mercy is where you completely overlook anything guilt. Compassion is closer to empathy, where someone's suffering, right? So it's like it's it's like mercy is like this. The ego is saying that judgment is being called for here, right? Compassion is more like you're you're watching someone get hurt or get harmed, and you, you know, there's so empathy, or they're hurting, or they're hurting emotionally, or anything. It's closer to empathy. It's like empathy that's offered to the spirit. Mercy is like your mind's projecting that they deserve punishment. And you know, I'll just ask because I'll notice my mind projecting like it seems like someone has wronged me or they've been an asshole or something like that. I'll just ask. I'll go, Holy Spirit, show me how to see that differently. Show me how to look at that differently. And I want to be aware of my mind's projections so that I can bring them to the truth. I don't want to try to repress them and try to make myself worthy by making a worthy self-image. There's no way that's ever gonna work, anyways. So shame, deprivation, emotional punishment, right? Emotional punishment might come up, you come up with, well, I'm not gonna give them the time of day next time. I'm not gonna be sweet to them. I'm not gonna invite them over next time. I'm not gonna do this. It's like, yeah, it's like you don't know about next time. You just know now, listening to the Holy Spirit. I mean, I've seen that project probably today from my mind. You know, it's not anything to be upset about, it's the thing to notice this is the human condition. Any kind of projecting for deprivation, guilt, impossible standards that you want people to abide by, right? And let other people do that all day long, right? They're gonna do it to you all day long, right? Like in Christine's situation, she's she was being looked at as spiritually inept. I thought you were more advanced than that, Christine. The fuck is your problem? No conceit. Yeah, she has no consideration, right? Let other people do that all day long. They got their standards for you that you're never gonna be able to live up to, you know, but you just don't you, you know, you don't buy into it. Tony said, tell him I'm considering compassion for you. That would have triggered the shit out of her. He's just kidding. One friend was telling me last night, you know, she she was saying how she went to visit someone that she's close with, and the person told her it was just berating her, just telling her what a terrible person she is. And I want you to admit that you're a terrible person, is what she's saying to her. And, you know, the woman's on the phone crying to me and saying, you know, I thought I was doing everything right. I tried so hard to do everything right. And I was like, well, that's the ego. It's like you have to people please. Every time you try to do that, you get the opposite reaction. And then it's like, it's like you're a victim, right? So then you feel like you want to attack them. That's just automatic. So mercy, being merciful, is seeing that people don't know what they're doing. They're not deserving attack. They're not evil. So the more our perception gets healed, the less our mind is willing, right? The less our mind is willing to hurt people, to hurt ourselves and others through these mental attacks.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

To see the innocence.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

Right? We want to see the innocence, the willingness to see the innocence, right? We can't build peace on anyone else's suffering. We can't build peace on our own suffering. It won't happen. So this shift, this sentence is like a shift from sacrifice over to mercy. And I, you know, I know of another part in A Course in Miracles where it talks about you don't want justice for anyone. You want mercy for them. You want mercy. Mercy is the true justice. And why do you want mercy for them? Because that's what you've been given. That's what this teaching is. It's showing you that you've been given mercy. So you accept that you've been given mercy, and then you give only mercy. Okay, I'm checking on you guys to see if you have any questions. Feel free to ask me questions. I don't know if I'm seeing all of the comments. Oh, maybe I am. So if you have comments on Facebook, let me know. If you have any questions, put it in the comment section. You can also make comments. That's fine too. All right. So we have now finished chapter. No, not chapter. We've finished paragraph 11. Yeah, that was sentence seven that we just did. We finished paragraph 11. We're on to paragraph 12.

Mercy Must Include Yourself

SPEAKER_01 46:44

Once again, we're in a Course in Miracles, complete annotated edition, page 115, sentence 12. It has been harder for many Christians to realize that this commandment or assignment, assignment is in parentheses here. So commandment is basically assignment. It has been harder for many Christians to realize that this commandment or assignment also applies to themselves. So this is an important correction because Jesus is exposing this ego distortion, the belief that mercy should be extended to others, but not to yourself. Right? So most people can intellectually accept this idea of a loving or merciful God, right? While still believing, but my guilt is different. Secretly believing, my guilt is different. I should be punished. I don't deserve to be released. I've been failing. You don't fail. You do not fail. You're you're again, your mind is blank. You remain as you're as God created you and you're dreaming. You know, do you really fail in a nighttime dream? That's a symbol. A nighttime dream is a symbol of what this is in relation to truth. Do you fail in a nighttime dream? No, because it's a dream. You're only dreaming. You're never failing. So there's a secret belief others may be forgiven, but not me. This is the ego again saying this stuff. The ego only survives through self-condemnation. It's all self-condemnation. All condemnation is self-condemnation. So it's easier to believe that other people can have mercy and not ourselves. So this is connecting to the previous sentence about sacrifice. This sentence, it has been harder for many Christians to realize that this commandment, what is this commandment? That to be merciful, even as your father in heaven is merciful. That's the commandment or assignment that he's referring to. He's saying it's been harder for many Christians to realize this commandment, that it also applies to themselves. Being merciful as your father in heaven has been merciful applies to yourself as well as others. So here's how the ego turns spirituality into self-sacrifice. Okay? Here's some different ways. Denying joy. How many times do you think you have to be denied joy in order to be more spiritual? Hey, how many, you know? And and that could be anything. Let's say it's a it's a habit that you seem to enjoy. When you take a habit, let's say you have a habit, because this has just occurred for me over the past 10 years. I had a habit of smoking spliffs. Apparently, that has left me through no willpower or anything like that. Apparently, it has left me. Now I've had it leave me before and come back, and that's fine too. But the the practice with that was not denying myself, not getting into self-sacrifice. Because if I were to try to self-control it, I'm getting into sacrifice. I'm actually hurting my mind. I'm way more interested in purifying my mind than in purifying my body of the spliffs. See? And if I'm if I'm dealing in sacrifice, if I'm dealing in something called willpower to make myself not enjoy, not enjoy the moment, whatever that looks like to me, it's sacrifice. Withholding love from yourself. You're not you're not worthy enough yet. You're not there yet. People say I'm not there yet about themselves, right? The ego always demands some kind of suffering. You got to go through some kind of torture, maybe some kind of torturous meditation program, right? Vipassana can be said to be like that. It's like 10 hours a day sitting cross-legged through a bunch of pain. Although I found myself having a huge awakening in that, notwithstanding any kind of suffering that I seem to be putting myself through, right? Attacking ourselves internally. This is bad. This is bad. I've got to change, I gotta get better. This is carrying chronic guilt. That's what it is. It's believing pain proves sincerity. A lot of people go to vipassana. Most people go to vipassana and do not wake up to the truth. Do not wake up to this way of seeing with complete mercy for ourselves. In fact, they just keep on doing it over and over again. Ayahuasca ceremonies, which with all the barfing, right? It's as if you need to suffer to see, you know, to see clearly. For the most part, what I saw in there, people were not having a good time. I was for some reason, but then I wasn't barfing too. You know, that didn't look like a good time. So Jesus is correcting this. He's saying, mercy is not selective. If God's merciful, then mercy applies universally, including toward every mind that believes that it's separated from God. And notice that clarification where it says commandment or assignment. It says or assignment to say, look at commandment is assignment here. So he's shifting mercy away from a moral obligation. Because when we hear commandment, we automatically, you know, the Ten Commandments, thou shalt not do all this shit, right? We automatically take it as a moral obligation. And that's not what it is. That's why he's saying it's an assignment. It's not a moral obligation, it's what you are, it's who you are. It's not just a rule, it's not, it's not a some rule that you obey. It's a sign, it's an assignment as a miracle worker. Why? Why is it an assignment? Because your perception can't heal while self-attack is being maintained. That's why it's an assignment. That's the only reason why it's an assignment. It's not to make you more moral, it's not to make you better, it's because your mind can't heal while you're maintaining self-attack. All right. That's why mercy is an assignment or a commandment. That's the only reason why. A mind condemning itself can't accept its innocence. So when you extend mercy, you know that you're given mercy. You're always given mercy. You've been given mercy. You can't know you've been given mercy until you're extending mercy. And that extension includes extending it to yourself. A mind condemning itself is not going to accept its innocence. And you know, if you're not accepting your innocence inwardly, it's not going to be recognized outwardly for sure. So anytime you seem to be attacking anyone, wishing them unwell, hateful wishes, right? Even the thought, you know, they're killing themselves by smoking cigarettes, they're killing themselves by doing all that cocaine, that's not a merciful thought. That's making the world's cause and effect true, and that makes it true for you. That puts that puts on you the wrong kind of cause and effect, right? It makes it as if you're you're vulnerable. Tony's saying it all falls under the forgiveness principle. That's right. The whole thing comes down to this forgiveness principle, and you know, of course in miracles, and Hope Johnson using all these words to show how we avoid forgiveness all the time and how we can welcome it more. So, in in ACIM terms, self-condemnation is not humility, right? To the ego, self-condemnation is humility. It's really attachment to guilt, though. So, ego disguises self-attack often as spiritual being spiritually serious. Are you serious about your spirituality? Then attack yourself. But the Holy Spirit teaches through gentleness, we're not indulging illusions, we're extending mercy toward the mistaken mind. And this can feel very difficult for people raised in fear-based religions. I noticed that. Even people who who have a new age spirituality kind of way of looking at stuff, they are often, without knowing it, really parroting those fear-based religious systems using different words now. Psychological terror, right? That's what that's what we're talking about here. That's right. Yep, terrorizing each other. Whereas, you know, we're meant to be merciful with each other and with ourselves. So we've been taught that suffering is virtue, right? Wear a mask so that you don't kill grandma, for instance. But in other words, breathe your own waste. Be uncomfortable so you don't kill people, right? We've been taught that guilt proves morality. If you can, if you can, if you can point out what guilt is, oh, that person's guilty, this is guilty, I'm guilty of that, that proves you're moral, right? That's the that's the idea. Harshness, being harsh, proves that you're sincere. Being harsh with yourself. Self-denial earns love.

unknown 57:31

Right?

SPEAKER_01 57:32

It's as if punishment can restore your worthiness somehow. This is why this is in the section called atonement without sacrifice, because atonement is largely associated with sacrifice and payment, payment of debts, like like karma. Jesus, Jesus is undoing this right here. The commandment to be merciful includes yourself. It's not going to be complete unless it includes yourself. Okay, atonement, the truth, the atonement in a course in miracles, to accept the atonement for yourself is to accept that innocence has never been lost. And mercy is what allows your mind to accept that truth without any fear. So I think we uh covered that sentence pretty well there. If anyone has any questions, the the sentence again is it has been harder for many Christians to realize that this commandment or assignment, what's the commandment to be merciful, also applies to themselves. Okay.

The Hidden Habit Of Self-Victimization

SPEAKER_01 58:55

Sentence two of paragraph twelve. In other words, though Christians generally, but by no means universally, recognize the contradiction involved in victimizing others, they are less adept at ensuring their own inability to victimize themselves. Let's read that again. Sentence two of paragraph twelve. In other words, though Christians generally, but by no means universally, that means also non-Christians recognize the contradiction involved in victimizing others, they are less adept at ensuring their own inability to victimize themselves. So what we're doing here is getting to the point where we ensure our own inability to victimize ourselves. So this is a deep psychological and spiritual teaching here. Jesus is really pointing to a form of violence that we don't notice, self-victimization. People can recognize more easily that attacking others contradicts love. They understand that being cruel, persecution, abuse, condemnation, punishment directed outward are inconsistent with spiritual truth, but they secretly preserve those things for themselves by turning these ways of attack inward instead. And because that way of turning it inward often appears to be to people like it's moral, like it's being disciplined, right? We learn to discipline ourselves. We even learn that it's humble to be this way or spiritually sincere. This is why it goes unquestioned. So this looks like guilt, condemning ourselves, depriving ourselves, like I was saying before, depriving yourself of the hat, whatever the habit is. Maybe it's TV, right? It's like wait until that occurs naturally. It just releases now, let it release naturally, shaming yourself to try to get yourself to eat better, be better, stop smoking, stop eating sugar, right? Stop staying up late, all those stuff, all those things. It's shaming yourself, self-hatred, martyrdom. You don't have to worry about ruining your body. Notice that you what you don't want to do is guilt and shame your mind because that is what makes you act in ways that are punishing to you and to others, apparently. It makes you aggressive. Any kind of harsh spiritual striving is makes you it makes you act aggressive. Believing that you have to suffer enough to be worthy. So the ego says if I attack myself first, I can maintain control. This reminds me of one of my little sisters. She was being potty trained, and the way my parents potty trained her is they'd spank her when she made a mistake. She peed her pants, she'd get a spanking. So she peed her pants and she spanked herself. And she goes, Look, I spanked myself. And my parents thought it was so cute. They didn't give her a spank or spanking that time. It didn't work. But she was, you know, that's how she learned to try to maintain control over the situation. Look, I'm punishing myself. I'm hitting myself, right? So we internalize that. And she never stopped doing that. She never stopped punishing herself. She never stopped operating through discipline. Most people do. That doesn't change, you know, this direction, this way of direction doesn't really change the error. The error is still the same. It's like if I punish myself, somehow I maintain control. Whether attack appears inwardly or outwardly, it's still resting on the belief that guilt is real. And when there's guilt, it deserves punishment. Isn't that insane? That's why this is called the same, uh, the same perception. Jesus is turning this around. Look at how our world is. Guilt deserves punishment. See that? And it's it's happening in subtle and not subtle ways. To children. To children. That's right. That's right. That's how we were taught. We didn't, you know, when I found out, I was like in my early 20s when I found out really you can raise a child without spanking them. I didn't know. It took getting social services called on my ass. I was like, you're telling, but you know, at social services, they were not right either. Because I go, how do I keep her in line? And they said, keep taking shit away from her. That's the same thing. That's the same thing. To me, it felt gentler. I felt less guilty not having to hit my kid. I thought I had to hit my kid. I thought that was what you do. I thought I would be guilty if I didn't hit my kid. But it was kind of like it was a contradiction in my mind because I didn't feel good about it. But then also spare the rod and spoil the child thing, you know. Society expects you to have a good kid. I got kids all different ages, so I've gone through these things. So whether attack is appearing uh appearing inwardly toward yourself or outwardly toward another person, it's the same thing. It's saying guilt is real, it deserves punishment. And that's why Jesus is using this phrase phrase right here about Christians saying their own inability to victimize themselves. They're not, you know, they're they're not. Let me read the sentence again because the way he says it is a little bit interesting here. It says Christians generally recognize the contradiction involved in victimizing others. They are less adept at ensuring their own inability to victimize themselves. So he's talking about ensuring our inability to victimize ourselves, whether you're Christian or not, doesn't matter. So that wording is really powerful. He's not saying try to stop hurting yourself. He's pointing toward a state where self victimization becomes. Impossible when innocence is accepted. See, he's talking about ensuring our inability to victimize ourselves. That's accepting innocence. When we accept innocence, this self-victimization becomes impossible. So, like you look at people in AA, right? They're trying really, really hard not to drink. Trying really hard. They're getting chips for it. They're getting rewarded for not drinking, right? They're basically working off of self-punishment. Whereas they could just be drinking to their heart's content and pointing their mind, directing their mind toward willingness to accept their innocence. And the drinking will fall away as innocence. I mean, to the extent that it's not joyful, it's going to fall away because innocence has been accepted. See, you're going to be doing what feels good because innocence, as innocence is accepted, that's what occurs. Now, for me, I just found myself smoking spliffs for 10 years. Right? And you know, sometimes I would get the sense, well, you know, I don't really like at one point, I didn't like how my mouth was feeling. My mouth was feeling dry. And I was like, I don't really like how my mouth is feeling dry. So I stopped smoking splips. Looking at that now, I'm going, that was willpower. I didn't want my mouth to feel dry. And I went back to smoking spliffs a little bit later. Of course, I'm holding everything in a way where I'm using it to see innocence. I'm always using it to see innocent. This time there was no reason, no cause at all. It was just like not a thing. It's just like not a thing that's popping up. I'm not saying if someone has one around me and they're offering to me, I'm not going to take a couple pups. I might. It's just that I don't have a habit of it at this point, at this point in time. But it's different. The way that it fell away was not through, I don't like it, I don't like how it makes me feel, anything like that. It was just uninteresting all of a sudden. I'm like, hmm, same thing. Same thing. This is a major turn. Apparently, I've accepted way more innocence than I have before because all of a sudden I didn't have a chocolate habit. I didn't have a video game on my phone habit. I didn't have what else? Drinking coffee, just nothing. Just nothing. And that comes from accepting the innocence, not from trying to discipline yourself. That's the opposite, because it's building guilt.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:41

Shadow work integrating what you don't like about yours.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:44

Tony says it's shadow work is integrating what you don't like about yourself. I would say what you don't seem to like about yourself because it's not, you're not anything unlikable. You are perfect, holy, as God created you. Anything that you seem to not like about yourself is actually a misperception of self, right? So there's actually nothing you don't like about yourself. But it's integrating that as far as you're noticing this thing that I seem to not like isn't me. It actually isn't me. It's a sign of a guilty consciousness, and I'm willing to see this truly. I'm just willing to see this truly. The healed mind doesn't experience punishment as anything meaningful. It doesn't experience suffering as if it's valuable somehow. It's not seeking to attack itself anymore. And this is this is a very important correction here because the ego is disguising inward attack as if it's virtue. Now look at people who are not even religious are doing this all the time. This inward attack as if it's virtue. I saw when I was working in real estate, you know, people trying really hard not to eat sugar. Why are they trying hard not to eat sugar? Because it makes them fat. It makes them ugly, maybe. That see, that's the that's the thing. That's the inward, it's like the inward attack. It's like just enjoy whatever's arising. Don't worry. That's why Jesus says, don't try to protect your body. It's like protect the protect your mind instead. Your mind that believes that you're guilty, that believes that you have something in this world to protect. In that, your body's gonna be made safe. That's just how it is. There's nothing here to protect. So in spiritual systems, people often believe that harshness is discipline. And even non-spiritual, too, people disciplining themselves. That guilt, so feeling guilty, people believe this. When they feel guilty, that shows that they have a healthy conscience. No, that's unhealthy conscience, actually. That's a sign of an unhealthy conscience. People believe that suffering equals purification. That's why when I say something like purifying my mind, people look at me like, oh, well, what does that mean? Well, it's actually purifying it of guilt. It's not purifying through suffering. The way we've been taught when we hear about purity and purifying a mind, we're thinking of suffering, we're thinking of guilt, we're thinking of punishment, right? People think that denying themselves equals holiness. So this is this framework of the mind is being dismantled here through this section. God doesn't heal through victimization. And this is all this is also revealing why truly forgiveness has to include yourself. And that's this doesn't mean that there's a guilty self. There isn't a guilty self. See, the way this is often taken is there's a guilty self that needs to be pardoned. See, it's taken as pardon. It's if it's taken as pardon, that really doesn't make any sense because it's saying that the guilt is real and we're just gonna pardon it. That makes no sense. There is no guilt. That's why pardon is not relevant here. The mind just needs to stop making guilt real anywhere, and that only can only happen now through your willingness. Stop making guilt real. As long as attacking yourself is valued, then your perception is going to remain distorted. You're gonna keep on perceiving that you're doing things you don't want to do. So the miracle is restoring mercy universally, self and others. And that includes the way the mind is perceiving everything. So that's sentence two. In other words, though Christians generally, but by no means universally, recognize the contradiction involved in victimizing others, they are less adept at ensuring their own inability to victimize themselves. And before I go to section or sentence three, I'm gonna check if you guys have any questions. Looks like you're doing good. Thank you for joining. I love you. All right. Sentence three of paragraph

The Two-Edged Defense Of Attack

SPEAKER_01 1:13:46

12. We're still on page 115. Although this appears to be a much more benign error, although this appears to be a much more benign error from the viewpoint of society, what's the benign error? That's victimizing yourself. Doesn't it appear to be a benign error based on everything we just covered from the viewpoint of society? It is nevertheless inherently dangerous because once a two-edged defense is used, its direction cannot be self-controlled. I'm going to read that again. That's a rich sentence. Although this appears, this is self-victimization, to be a much more benign error from the viewpoint of society. It is nevertheless inherently dangerous because once a two-edged defense is used, its direction cannot be self-controlled. And there's a footnote with this one. Here's the footnote. The two-edged defense is victimization, which can which can be used against others or against yourself. Using it against yourselves, yourselves seems more benign from the viewpoint of society because no one gets hurt but you. So that's why society approves of your self-victimization because you're not hurting anyone but yourself, and that's fine. However, since quote, its direction cannot be self-controlled, even if you intend to use it only against yourself, you are likely to suddenly turn it on others. So now Jesus is explaining why self-attack isn't actually harmless. Society views it as inward suffering, and that's morally preferable to outward aggression. Suffering inward is morally preferable in society to outward aggression. Someone who attacks themselves appears to society to be humble, remorseful, disciplined. A lot of the times people think I'm disciplined because I do block therapy every day, right? You know, that's because that's the way they think. That's the way they think of it. It's not discipline, it's actually enjoyment. I notice the relief that comes with that kind of practice, and I fucking love it. I don't need any discipline to do it. It may appear the person may appear safe because they only attack themselves. They're spiritually con they're spiritually sincere. I see people on Facebook sometimes, they'll do a whole thing where they're admitting how they're guilty. And it's like a spiritual thing, and people are going, yeah, thank you for doing that and stuff. And it's like, that doesn't make any sense. You know, quit telling yourself and everyone else you're guilty. You're you're pretending to be humble, actually. You're not, you're not being humble. Pretending to be guilty is not humility, it's actually ego aggressiveness. Attack, attack, attack. That's how the ego works. So whether attack is directed inward or outward, it arises from the same belief system that says guilt is real, punishment is justified, suffering has value. An attack solves something. This is why he's calling it a two-edged defense. The ego believes it can carefully direct its attacking. It's saying, I'm gonna direct it toward myself. I'll keep this contained to myself, I'll punish myself. One way that comes to mind. I used to be really disciplined, let's say, on how I ate. And boy, I'd see other people not being disciplined. Huh. Tony's, I think, can relate to this too, can't you, honey? You know, it's like you see people not being disciplined, and it's like, oh, like, why don't they just do it like me? Why aren't they better at disciplining themselves? Why don't they make themselves do the things I make myself do? But see, the attack can't be controlled because once guilt is accepted as a reality, you begin perceiving guilt everywhere, it just spills outward onto everyone. Self-condemnation is gonna become condemnation of others. That's what it does. Inner pressure becomes outer pressure. Start putting pressure on other people, projecting punishment. That's why people who self-attack fluctuate between blaming themselves and blaming others, they fluctuate between guilt and resentment, collapse and aggression, shame and projection. This is a this is how it goes because you can't contain it. So the thought system itself is unstable because attack is unstable. Attack itself is has no stability. You can't direct it. You're if you're believing that, for instance, I seem to hear this one a lot, that President Trump deserves to die, you cannot help but project death all over the place. Next thing you know, your husband's gonna kill himself in a car accident in your mind. You know what I mean? It's like you just make this shit up, it just spills everywhere. So the ego can't safely compartmentalize attack. It's not never gonna be successful at compartmentalizing attack. If it's justified anywhere in your mind, it's gonna remain active everywhere in your mind. That's what that's why Jesus says its direction cannot be self-controlled. The ego thinks it can weaponize guilt safely. But once guilt is valued, even a little bit, perception is distorted. And this is also revealing why self-attack blocks healing so much. People believe I'm only hurting myself. At least I'm not harming others, I'm not making others be this disciplined, for instance.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:50

This is what makes me a really good person.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:58

So inward attacking yourself still reinforces the belief that punishment means something. And once punishment is accepted, your mind's gonna perceive reasons to project it outward. It's gonna see reasons to project punishment outward. So the miracle is undoing this entire system, it's removing the belief that attack projects protects anything at all. It's showing your mind that innocence doesn't need to be defended. When innocence is just accepted as it is, inward and outward victimizing dissolve completely. There's no more aggression coming from your mind, projecting, you know, in your own through your own behavior and also through your perception, what you perceive other people to be doing. Okay, we are on to a brand new paragraph.

How Sacrifice Logic Runs Your Life

SPEAKER_01 1:22:12

Paragraph 13. And here's the text. It is obvious that these individuals have not been able to transcend the misperception of the need for sacrifice. Who are these individuals? These individuals are involved in victimization, self-victimization. It's obvious that these individuals have not been able to transcend the misperception of the need for sacrifice, or they could not possibly be willing to sacrifice themselves. So it is obvious that these individuals have not been able to transcend the misperception of the need for sacrifice, or they could not possibly be willing to sacrifice themselves. This is self-sacrificing individuals, which is pretty much everyone. So this could seem startling at first, the sentence, because the world really admires self-sacrifice. It's assuming that our willingness to suffer, our willingness to give something up, or even die for, you know, it's like to prove a love for people, people often say, I would die for you. Like that's evidence of great love. Where do we learn that? From the crucifixion, probably. But Jesus really looks at this differently. The first question we should ask is: who are these people? Who are these individuals? In the immediate context, Jesus is referring to people willing to sacrifice themselves, martyrs, those who suffer for a cause, those who believe giving up their well-being somehow serves God or demonstrates love. But this principle is reaching way further than these acts of martyrdom. All right, you think of martyrdom as like maybe people blowing themselves up, right? For Allah or whatever they are doing. Who is it? I don't even know if it's that one. But it includes anyone who believes that love requires suffering at all. Anyone who believes they have to diminish themselves for another person, hide your light for another person, believing holiness is measured by something you can give up. Anyone who believes that God is asking you to lose something in order to gain something greater, even there's that too. Jesus is really speaking to all of us here. What makes this obvious? He's saying obvious. He's saying obviously. He's saying it is obvious. Why is it obvious? Okay, he's saying it is obvious that these individuals have not been able to transcend the misperception of the need for sacrifice. Why is it obvious? Because the willingness reveals the belief. He's saying otherwise, they could not possibly be willing to sacrifice themselves. That's what makes it obvious, because they're willing to sacrifice themselves. Obviously, they have not been able to transcend the misperception of the need for sacrifice. Their actions reveal their perception. This isn't a judgment, it's a recognition of true cause and effect. If I willingly pay a debt, it reveals I believe I owe something. If I willingly accept punishment, it reveals I believe guilt is real. See? Now I'm not saying that, you know, if you borrow money from someone, you shouldn't pay them back. It's not like that. It's it's it's a debt as far as like you would say, maybe karmic debt. If you believe you're guilty, then you're repaying for that guilt. That's the action that shows what is present in the mind. If you willingly sacrifice yourself, it reveals that you believe sacrifice accomplishes something that's meaningful. So the willingness itself is the evidence. Jesus is saying that if these individuals had truly seen through the idea of sacrifice, they could not possibly choose to sacrifice because they'd recognize that it doesn't serve any purpose. And what is the misperception? He's talking about a misperception here. A misperception isn't reality. He's saying a misperception is the belief that sacrifice is necessary. That belief is a misperception. What would sacrifice be necessary for? Necessary for love? Necessary for salvation? Does God find sacrifice necessary? We've been over this. No. Necessary for healing? It's not necessary for atonement. Sacrifice isn't necessary for atonement. This section is called atonement without sacrifice. So the ego is saying someone must pay, someone must suffer, something valuable must be lost. Like love requires some kind of cost, some kind of payment. But Jesus already told us sacrifice is a concept totally unknown to God. And if God doesn't know sacrifice, then sacrifice can't be part of your reality. Only be part of an illusion. So he also says transcend misperception. Right? He says these individuals has not have not been able to transcend the misperception of the need for sacrifice. So we want to transcend the misperception. What does that mean? To transcend a misperception isn't to fight it. We don't suppress a misperception. We actually see beyond it. Like when a child realizes there's no monster under their bed. That's how they've transcended the fear. It's just like that. It's just like that. It's like this fear seems so real because there seems to be a monster in the closet or a monster under the bed. But to transcend that fear is to realize there is no monster. It doesn't exist. And here it applies as there is no sacrifice. The perception itself that sacrifice was ever needed, that was a mistaken perception. So Jesus is inviting us to see beyond that belief that sacrifice is meaningful at all. To transcend misperception is to recognize that God doesn't ask for sacrifice. There's no sacrifice in love. Innocence doesn't need you to sacrifice. Atonement never requires you to sacrifice. The belief just falls away as soon as you see that it's a false belief. And why have these people not been able to transcend it? Which is basically all people, self-sacrificing people. Why have we, self-sacrificing people, not been able to transcend the false perception that sacrifice is necessary? That's because sacrifice actually rests on the deeper belief in guilt, which is the foundation of what's being exposed throughout this section. If guilt is real, then payment seems to be necessary. If payment is necessary, then sacrifice is justified. And if the sacrifice is just justified, then suffering seems to be meaningful. This whole system depends on guilt. The ego's logic looks just like this: it goes from guilt to payment to sacrifice to suffering and back around again. It's like a loop. What Jesus is doing here is removing the whole foundation. No more guilt. Guilt is not real, so there's nothing to pay for. There's nothing to earn, there's nothing to pay for. Now sacrifice is unnecessary. Now this structure collapses. So the deeper application here is most of us are not volunteering for crucifixion itself, like we perceive with the Bible. But we still believe in sacrifice. We sacrifice our peace to be right, for instance. That's that's a very common thing. Not recognizing that we're actually running away from peace in order to be right or to teach someone something. Sacrificing joy in order to gain approval. Sacrificing our own authenticity so the world won't reject us. Sacrificing our own rest because we think we need to do something besides rest when we're feeling to rest. Like go to work when we feel like resting, work more hours. We sacrifice our own happiness because we seem to own, we seem to owe something to someone. So the forms can come around very differently, but the belief is the same. We still think that love costs something. So here's the invitation. Jesus isn't criticizing anyone for sacrificing themselves, he's not condemning anyone for doing this. He's actually revealing that there's no such thing as noble suffering. That's just a misunderstanding. So the correction here is not to become more selfish. A lot of the times people run run to that, being selfish. It's to realize that love and sacrifice are just not the same thing. Love extends itself because it's full. So when, so for instance, like when you need rest, you don't keep working. That's that's one practical way that we sacrifice. You need rest and you just keep on working. Sacrifice just keeps on giving out of the belief that something's missing. True giving comes from abundance, though, not from lack. So this is also inviting us to ask ourselves: where do I still believe that love requires me to sacrifice? My rest, my peace, my joy. Where is it? Where am I doing that? Where do I believe that somehow sacrifice sacrificing something makes me more worthy? Where do I believe God's asking something from me other than perfect innocence and joy? So if you ask yourself sincerely these questions, it'll take you to the places where belief in sacrifice, your belief in sacrifice still remains. And this is where Jesus is trying to free us here. So thank you. Thank you for listening, and thank you to Jesus for showing us that this way that we sacrifice unconsciously and don't even recognize that we are sacrificing, so we can stop doing that, right? Right, we're on to sentence two of paragraph 13.

Saying No Without Guilt

SPEAKER_01 1:34:36

And here's the sentence anyone who is unable to leave the requests of others unanswered has not entirely transcended egocentricity. Now, this question is very important to me because I see how I have done this, and it's it's a tricky one. It's tricky and it's sticky. Anyone who is unable to leave the requests of others unanswered has not entirely transcended egocentricity. So this sentence can be easily misunderstood because it sounds almost like it's unloving. Jesus is saying anyone who's unable to leave the requests of others unanswered has not transcended egocentricity. He's not saying we should ignore people, though. And he's not saying we should be indifferent, indifferent toward people or selfish. He's not encouraging you to be more selfish. That's why he's saying unable. Anyone who is unable to leave the requests, notice he's not saying anyone who answers the requests of others. He's saying anyone who is unable to leave the requests of others unanswered. Anyone who is unable to leave the requests of others unanswered. The issue is not whether you answer, the issue is whether you feel compelled to answer. If you feel compelled to answer others. Can you stay at peace if someone wants something from you? Can you say yes without feeling guilty? And this and in the same way, say no without feeling guilty. This reminds me of a moment about 10 years ago when I was in a class and we were all marching around and we were saying yes, yes, yes. And everyone was so joyful saying yes, yes, yes. And then they said, now say no. And people started going, no, no, no, like in a way that's not joyful. And I was still marching around going, no, no, no. And people go, hey, wait a minute, we could say no like that. Yeah, that's the no without guilt, right? Can you wait for guidance instead of reacting automatically to what someone else is asking of you? Right? We don't answer to we're we're not meant to answer to people. You know, if we wait for guidance, then our answer comes from truth. It doesn't come from obligation, it doesn't come from feeling compelled to do something for a person. So if you feel compelled to do something for a person, something other than love is operating here. It's called guilt, it's a lack of freedom. He's calling that egocentric. He's saying you haven't transcended egocentricity. So at first glance, it could seem backward. And this is a trap many people get into, and myself included, I've been in this kind of trap too, where it seems like I should be answering to people. And you know, why is it egocentric? It's because the ego wants to be important, indispensable. The ego wants to be helpful and admired and responsible and rescuing people and seen as a savior. It looks like concern for others, but underneath that is an investment in maintaining a certain self-concept. The ego says, I have to help, I can't disappoint this person. Their well-being depends on me, for instance. That's never the case. There's a belief that a loving person always says yes to a person in need. But what do all these thoughts do? They actually keep the ego self at the center of everything. It's ironic. What appears to be selflessness is often a highly refined form of self-concern. Egocentricity. So most people hear egocentricity and think only caring about yourself. That's what egocentricity is, right? Only care, uh that's what people think it is. It's only caring about yourself. Well, Jesus is pointing to something much deeper here. Egocentricity means the ego self remains the reference point. So whether I think I'm better than everyone or I think I'm responsible for everyone, it's that I that remains central. The ego loves to be grandiose. That's why it's self-sacrificial. This is keeping the self intact. The ego says, look how important I am, or look how much I gave up for you. And you still don't appreciate it. You know, I've heard people talk about you gotta you gotta charge for spiritual people, spiritual teachings, otherwise, people won't appreciate you. Right? Look how important I am. Look at how much I give up. This is all organized around a self-concept. Why do you have to charge? Because you're giving something up to do the teaching. That's why you have to charge. Something has to be paid. Why is your spiritual teaching giving something up in the first place? Why isn't it benefiting you? Why aren't you paid through extending? So, what Jesus is teaching here really is freedom from compulsion to answer to people. Now, the Holy Spirit may guide you to help people. Yes, that happens. That happens all the time. The Holy Spirit only guides you to be truly helpful, though. It also may guide you to not apparently not help a person, which is also truly helpful. Because the Holy Spirit only guides you to be truly helpful, and that may, in form, look like you're not helping them when they're asking for help. You don't have to answer every request. You just answer when the guidance is there for you to answer. So sometimes the most loving response is yes, and sometimes it's no. Sometimes the most loving response is waiting. No answer. It's no answer sometimes. I get requests sometimes, and I'm not even guided to answer them at all. They just go unanswered. Am I going to be perceived as unloving? It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter how I'm perceived. Sometimes the most loving response appears to be completely different than what everyone thinks it should be. So Jesus is teaching us here to be available to Holy Spirit guidance rather than to demands of people. And there's a connection here to sacrifice. We're talking about sacrifice, right? Remember the sentence that came right before this one. Jesus is discussing sacrifice here. The person who cannot leave a request unanswered often believes that if someone needs something from me, I have to give it to them. If someone is unhappy with me, I have to fix it. Boy, have I found myself in that. If someone asks me of something, I'm obligated. Depending on who they are, probably, but yeah. And that's this is really the psychology of sacrifice. You see this? It's assuming another person's request creates a debt for you. But love is never about debt. We're not to be acting through compulsion. It's not obligation. It's just free. Love is free. So here's a question for you. Suppose someone asks you for something. Notice what creates your response. Just notice. Is it fear? Is it guilt? Is it responsibility? Is it the desire to be seen as a loving person? Is it a desire to avoid conflict with the person? Are you afraid of disappointing them? Or is it guidance? Just notice. It doesn't matter what you do, that's how you see. The doing actually comes out of seeing. So through doing in the way that you've habitually been doing, you learn to see. So we're being pointed here toward a state, a state of mind, where our responses arise out of guidance rather than pressure. And you can feel the difference, feel it in your body's energy field. What's the difference between acting from guidance and acting from pressure? So this sentence can be a really profound mirror. I feel that this is the most important sentence that I've read today. I'm going to read it again. So when someone asks something of us, we can notice. Do I feel guilty if I don't comply? Back to wearing a mask, that's my good one. If I do I feel guilty if I don't comply, do I feel responsible for other people's feelings? Is the fact that they're gonna get upset? Does the fact that they're gonna get upset about it mean that I should comply? Am I afraid of their disapproval? Do I need to be seen as helpful? Do I feel like I'm trapped by the request? Right? This is really truly listening to the Holy Spirit guidance. I mean, just yesterday I was invited to go over to uh sauna and I asked her was clothing optional. And the host said, Well, I'm gonna be wearing a bathing suit. I'm like, okay, are you comfortable with me not wearing a bathing suit? And she said, Well, not as comfortable. And I, and and you know, immediately I said, Well, I want to wear a bathing suit then. And you know what? For me, that's guidance. That's coming from guidance. Why do I want to wear a bathing suit? Because I like to be in a in a situation of not naked when someone doesn't enjoy me being naked. I just I feel more comfortable like that. It's not complying though, out of I want them to see me better, right? So listening for the Holy Spirit is really listening for your per what's what's in alignment with your perfect happiness. This is not so the reason I gave that example too, because it's not about being selfish. It's not about, well, fuck you, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna be naked, you know. But it might turn out like, you know, okay, well, I don't really feel comfortable going there then. I'm not gonna go there then. I like I don't like to go in jacuzzi's with a bathing suit on uh so much that I'm not gonna go. It could look like anything. So it's not a matter of taking one side or the other, it's a matter of listening to what is the Holy Spirit's guidance here. So, do I feel responsible for someone's feelings? Right? You know, pay attention to that. Do I feel trapped by this request? Very common for us to feel trapped. Jesus would Jesus would say, What we're looking at here is an opportunity to transcend egocentricity. Because truly, love does not come from compulsion. Love it comes from freedom. And when the mind is feeling free, it can genuinely give. Who knows? The next time I get invited over there, I might say, you know what? I'm only willing to go if I don't have to put plastic over my genitals. Of course, it doesn't have to be plastic, but most bathing suits are plastic, apparently. I'm only willing to go over there if it's like this. And that uh that reminds me of my friend Chitta, the one who was just passed away, apparently by murder earlier this week. Man, that guy would not compromise anything. He's doing it the way he's doing it, and no, and and there's no compromise on that.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:41

So uh, you know, that's a really a sweet example. All right, we got a few minutes left.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:51

I'm gonna cover one more sentence. I love this. This one is just like super important and potent for me. Potent for me. So here's sentence

Giving Without Depleting Yourself

SPEAKER_01 1:49:06

three. Jesus is saying, I never quote, gave of myself in this inappropriate way. What's the inappropriate way? We just covered it. Anyone who is unable to leave the requests of others unanswered has not entirely transcended egocentricity. And then he says, I never gave of myself, in quotes, in this inappropriate way, nor would I ever encourage you to do so. There's also a footnote with this, and the footnote is this originally referred to the American psychic Edgar Casey, who in the latter part of his life was deluged with requests for psychic readings, many for gravely ill children. In response, he gave many times. More readings than was safe for his health, and as a result, he died at a relatively young age of 67. See Cameo 15. We've been over Cameo 15 earlier. The egocentricity involved in this was apparently that Casey was driven to sacrifice in order to make up for his own perceived lack of worth. So whenever we seem to be sacrificing for others, and in this case, Jesus is talking about him giving psychic readings to help gravely ill children. Still, he's saying this was inappropriate. The self-sacrifice was inappropriate. So this footnote is important because it's clarifying what Jesus means by sacrifice and egocentricity. Most people look at Edgar Casey's life and see extraordinary, extraordinary generosity. He was so generous. He was always helping people. He was sacrificing himself to help people. They see him as being so generous. He was serving others, people said, you know, to the extent where he killed himself early, apparently. He was responding to desperate requests from families who were suffering. From the world's perspective, this looks saintly. This looks like a saintly thing to do. But Jesus is asking us to look at this behavior and examine this motivation. What made Edgar Casey egocentric? The footnote is telling us here the issue was not the helping itself. The issue that was that Casey was driven by a sense of lack. That's why he was driven. That's why he was manifesting this out of a sense of lack. He was sacrificing to compensate for something. He perceived deficiency in himself. That's what we do all the time. He's talking about answering the requests of others, not leaving their requests unanswered. Failure to leave their requests unanswered. So this reveals something about the ego. The ego doesn't seek importance, it doesn't only seek importance through superiority, it also seeks importance through sacrifice. The ego can say, I'm special because I'm smarter than others. That's one. But it can also say, I'm special because I suffer more than others. I do things for people, even though it's at the expense of my health. What if I feel tired?

unknown 1:52:45

Right?

SPEAKER_01 1:52:46

What if I feel tired at the time? I'm special because I give myself. I'm special because I carry burdens that other people won't do it. So the self-concept is remaining at the center. That I, that I concept. The form looks different, but the structure of the I concept is the same. And Jesus is saying, He never gave himself in this inappropriate way. What is that inappropriate way? That's the way of sacrifice. Jesus never sacrificed anything. That's the way of depleting. It's depleting yourself. It's believing that to show that you're you love someone, you're supposed to give of yourself in a way that hurts. The way of responding to every request out of guilt, obligation, responsibility to prove that you're worthy. It's believing that your exhaustion is evidence that you're holy. It's believing that suffering can demonstrate love. So he's saying this was not his example. That's the opposite of what we've been shown. Jesus died for your sins is what we've been told. Right? Saying none of that is his example. He says he never gave of himself that way. Why does he phrase it like that? He says, I never gave of myself in this inappropriate way. Because from his perspective, true giving is never a loss. Look, giving is truly receiving. We hear that a lot in A Course in Miracles. True giving is never a loss. The spirit, which you are, you are spirit. You're nothing but spirit. It it doesn't spirit spirit doesn't become weaker by sharing itself. The truth doesn't diminish when it's giving away. So the ego believes that giving means losing something. But Jesus is saying that real giving involves no sacrifice whatsoever. So a lamp, like for instance, a lamp doesn't become darker by shining itself, the lamp itself becomes brighter when it's shining, right? The sun doesn't become darker when it's radiating light, it's just lighter, lighter, lighter. Same in the same way, spirit loses nothing when it extends, it extends itself. So if you find yourself depleted from giving, that wasn't true giving. It's inappropriate, Jesus says. So he's saying he never gave of himself in that way. And that's in quotes. So that's placed in quotes. Gave of myself is what he says. So he's challenging the entire assumption that giving requires some personal cost. Look, this is why people insist that they get paid for things, because the giving is costing something. See, that's why we earn. That's why everyone earns. They go out and earn because giving is costing something, right? And that's why I've never been guided to charge for the for what I'm sharing here. Because the giving actually brightens my light. I'm not being diminished. I'm definitely grateful for all donations because in this apparent world, I seem to need money to get things, right? However, I'm not diminishing myself in any way by sharing. I'm actually more energized by sharing. Jesus didn't sacrifice himself. That's a sentence that challenges most of Christianity, my mom included. You know, that's why she's she's not listening to my talks anymore. She she she just heard me say that nope, Jesus did not die for anyone's sins. She's like, I cannot get on board with that. Cut off. That's fine. I still relate with my mom and she sees how I am and recognizes how I am and truly enjoys it and appreciates it. She just can't see past the idea that Jesus died for our sins. Can't see past that and see that that's not true. So Jesus is presenting that the crucifixion is not something that proves that suffering saves anyone. He's teaching that God did not demand a victim, he would never demand a victim. And God is not demanding you to victimize yourself. That's not what being a minister or a teacher of God is. Pain does not redeem anyone. Your pain will not redeem anyone. Instead, he's saying that truth cannot be harmed. And the lesson of the crucifixion is not sacrifice. You know, the crucifixion really isn't a lesson, it's the resurrection. The resurrection is the real lesson. It's the lesson that attack has no power over reality. And that's how this particular section started. The resurrection, not the crucifixion, demonstrates that nothing real can be destroyed. So Jesus never saw himself as a victim. He never saw himself as something that would sacrifice. He says, Nor would I ever encourage you to do so. Do not imitate sacrifice, is what he's saying. So this idea, if I were truly loving, I would be giving till it's hard. It hurts. A lot of people make themselves guilty because they think that they don't give enough. They didn't give till it hurt. They saw someone else like Edgar Casey. Look at him. He killed himself giving. Look at Jesus. He died on the cross giving. If I were truly spiritual, I would never say no. That's one of the fallacies. So Jesus is saying otherwise. He's saying he'd never encourage us to do this. Sacrifice rests on the belief that love requires loss, and love does not require any loss. There's a difference between guidance and sacrifice. And again, this is not teaching selfishness. It's not saying to stop helping people, it's not saying to stop serving. The difference is just guidance. The Holy Spirit may guide you to give greatly. The Holy Spirit could be guiding you to help someone all day long. It's only that the giving is uplifting you. Giving is receiving. You see what that means? Something that you're giving truly is so good, you're receiving it. You're receiving it in a way that feels good to you. The Holy Spirit could guide you to stay up all night. But you know what? You're not going to be tired, you're not going to be exhausted. You're not going to feel victimized by this. When you're guided to give. There's no hidden bargain. It's natural for you. So the sentence is asking us to look at our motivations. When we give, are we extending from the fullness of self? Or are we compensating for something? Are we saying that that we're we have a hidden belief that we're not enough? Are we trying to are we trying to compensate for that belief that we're not enough? Is that what we're doing? Or are we really being helpful? Well, you can tell by the way it feels. That's how you know if you're following guidance or you're just responding to guilt. Are we expressing love or are we trying to earn worthiness? The footnote about Edgar Casey, that's revealing that even these beautiful acts of service, mixed with an unconscious belief about sacrifice and value, are not truly helpful. So don't take this as Jesus' condemning service. That's not what's happening. He's actually purifying your service so that your service is actually uplifting and energizing for you and it makes you happy. Only thing that's gonna like knock you flat, like make you lose energy, make you seem like you're sacrificing is not listening, listening to the ego instead. And listening to the ego many times is listening to other people's requests, not leaving them unanswered. So let's let's read that sentence one more time, and that'll be the last one of this one. Let's see. Oh, that spans two pages. So it goes from 115 to 116. Anyone who is unable to leave the requests of others unanswered has not entirely transcended egocentricity. So that was a very important question or a very important sentence. Actually, we all we also got to the sentence after that, too. I never gave of myself in this inappropriate way, nor would I ever encourage you to do so. And that's the end of chapter 13. So when we come back next week, we will start on chapter 14.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:42

I'm just gonna make a note of that.

Reflections, Gratitude, And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 2:02:50

All right, you guys.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:51

So this is the end of my three-day week where I do wisdom talks and stuff like that. Thank you so much for joining. Thank you. Oh, I appreciate you. Okay, Dorga has a comment here. Wow, this is the most impactful talk I've ever experienced. I feel like that too. Thank you. Giddy, tearful joy, big taste of freedom, transforming, taking this in deeply. My DNA is altered. I feel that too. Are my brown eyes blue? Thank you. Thank you too. Yeah, I hear you. I know. It's like I see myself in this so much, especially, you know, in having given in ways that that feel depleting. And I know, like even with wisdom dialogues for a while there. This was early on when I was doing it. It was taking me three and a half hours to do a two-hour talk because I was accommodating all these people that were requesting that I answer all their fucking questions, right? And then at one point in time, I was like, I feel depleted after two, three and a half hours of this. I only want to spend two hours. So then I stepped up and I said, that's enough. If you guys want to argue the point, bring up your education, whatever you learned before, shut the fuck up, or else leave. Go get your own show, right? And people were balking at me. They're they're they're kicking back. Not my main core people, which was about five people, but the other 20 people were balking at this, and they were going, you're just speaking as an ego. And I go, that's fine with me if you see it that way. This is my show, and you can go get your own show. My show is two hours long, and it's mostly me talking. Unless you have a sincere question, if you just you're just looking to argue, you know, this is where this really shines for me. And then also, I have a tendency I notice when people are like, I'm I'm hurting, I'm tired. Will you? I have a tendency I notice to not listen to spirit's guidance, and I'll feel it afterwards. And that feeling is telling. That feeling is telling. It's telling me I was not listening. So, you know, this is not to condemn anyone for not listening, it's showing how your perfect happiness depends on your listening. And this is God's will for you, this perfect happiness. So thank you. Thank you for that comment, Durga. I definitely feel that too. So let's let's make our giving true and not depleting, okay? Until next time, I'll be back on Monday. Please visit my website for more. Lots of free resources on there. Also, I have a book. Also, if you'd like to book one one-to-one with me, you can book them there. If you, you know, there's a charge on there. The reason there's a charge on there is just because there's a lot of random people just going, oh, free stuff. I'll just take that. Okay. But actually, if you feel like you don't do not want to pay that charge or you just want to donate freely, whatever you want, just let me know. I will, I will schedule one-to-ones on you or with you, unon you. Last night someone wanted a one-to-one with me. It was like 8:30 at night. I just checked in on that and I'm like, it's a huge guess. I it was 20 minutes, about 20 minutes we talked. We even shot the shit for a little part of it. And within that time, she got relief. And, you know, it was beautiful because it was guided. And as long as it's guided, I'm going to be having conversations with you. I'm really, really happy to help people get relief from suffering. And it helps me too. Thank you so much. And please donate if you feel inspired. You can do that on my website. Also, I accept all forms of donation. I'm also, I'm also accepting donations in the form of technical support. Okay, if anyone wants to give me technical support, helping me get online easier and stuff like that. I'm happy with that. House cleaning, anything that you feel like donated. Yesterday, someone donated me a beautiful massage. I so much appreciate that. I got to go to a sauna too at some of my friends' house. They gave me some fruit. It's all, I mean, look at it. It's all gifts to each other. I love it. Yay. Thank you. Until next time, mahalo, aloha, and a hoo-e-ho. Woo!