True North with Abby & Ryan

Inner Motivators, Being Our Own People, and Other Lessons From Grams

• Abby & Ryan • Season 1 • Episode 48

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Be present with yourself. You can fuss over the task of living your life, or you can just live it.

Do you really want to do the thing?

  • You say you want to do the thing.
  • You consistently don't, and there's always an excuse.
  • Do you really want to do the thing?
  • Reeeaaaally?
  • Check in with your body. See if it wants to do the thing.
  • If so, cut the crap and do the thing. No excuses.
  • If not, take it off your plate and stop saying you want to do it.


How do you motivate yourself? Shame? Bullying? External pressure? Manufactured rewards/consequences? Which part of you does the motivating, and how does that part treat you? Is there a kinder, less judgmental, yet equally firm part that can take its place?

"Get yourself up, kick yourself in the ass, and go get another beer." - Grams

As long as you look to others to be your source of love/validation, you will depend on them for it. That becomes a problem when it chokes out room for them to be on their own journey. Bring it home: your highest self is the source of its own love and validation.

Learn to love yourself so that you can teach others by example how to love themselves.

GRATITUDES:

  • Abby is grateful that she said "yes" to the trip she's on, being what it ended up being.
  • Ryan is grateful for his friend who pointed out that he had fallen off the wagon.


TIME CODES:
2:00 - Abby reflects on her grandmother's final days: "you fuss, we live." - Mary Oliver, "The Good-Bye Fox"
11:45 - On upgrading our inner motivators
39:22 - On being your own person
53:22 - On breaking generational cycles

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