Inner Motivators, Being Our Own People, and Other Lessons From Grams

Be present with yourself. You can fuss over the task of living your life, or you can just live it.

Do you really want to do the thing?

• You say you want to do the thing.
• You consistently don't, and there's always an excuse.
• Do you really want to do the thing?
• Reeeaaaally?
• Check in with your body. See if it wants to do the thing.
• If so, cut the crap and do the thing. No excuses.
• If not, take it off your plate and stop saying you want to do it.

How do you motivate yourself? Shame? Bullying? External pressure? Manufactured rewards/consequences? Which part of you does the motivating, and how does that part treat you? Is there a kinder, less judgmental, yet equally firm part that can take its place?

"Get yourself up, kick yourself in the ass, and go get another beer." - Grams

As long as you look to others to be your source of love/validation, you will depend on them for it. That becomes a problem when it chokes out room for them to be on their own journey. Bring it home: your highest self is the source of its own love and validation.

Learn to love yourself so that you can teach others by example how to love themselves.

GRATITUDES:

• Abby is grateful that she said "yes" to the trip she's on, being what it ended up being.
• Ryan is grateful for his friend who pointed out that he had fallen off the wagon.

TIME CODES:
2:00 - Abby reflects on her grandmother's final days: "you fuss, we live." - Mary Oliver, "The Good-Bye Fox"
11:45 - On upgrading our inner motivators
39:22 - On being your own person
53:22 - On breaking generational cycles

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