True North with Abby & Ryan

Abby & Ryan Use Their Voices - Part 1

January 22, 2021 Abby & Ryan Season 1 Episode 49
True North with Abby & Ryan
Abby & Ryan Use Their Voices - Part 1
Show Notes

"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." - Rumi

Start by knowing where you are:

  • Notice when you want to say something but don't. Why didn't you?
  • Notice when you speak up - standing up for yourself or others, naming your desires, asserting your opinions. Why did you?
  • Notice when you fill silence with unnecessary words. Why did you?

Ready to start using your voice confidently? Start where it's safest and slowly expand:

  • Unapologetically use your voice with your most trusted lifemate. Quantity over quality. Expand your circle of honesty as you gain confidence and experience in speaking your truth.
  • Create a space in your dwelling that reflects your authentic self. As you're ready, expand that space at a pace that feels comfortable, until your entire abode reflects your inner landscape.

"But what it my truth will trigger my audience??"

  • Are you about to create new trauma for them, or mirror a past trauma?
  • Operating in Love & Light = steering clear of creating new trauma.
  • Respectfully not giving a shit = realizing you're not in control of whether or not they allow your words to trigger past traumas, and therefore not spending energy trying to keep that from happening.

From a chakra perspective: we have a throat chakra, but we don't have ear chakras. The throat chakra governs speaking your truth, but the heart chakra governs giving and receiving. When you listen with your heart instead of your head, you create space in which others are more free to use their voices.


  • Ryan's grateful for the Unplug Men's Retreat he just went on with MenLiving.
  • Abby's grateful her sister's father.


3:08 - Intro to the topic: Using Your Voice
7:18 - Raise Your Words (Rumi)
8:51 - Love and Light as intentions in expressing your authentic self
10:54 - Quantity over quality (Uelsmann)
15:07 - Conscious silence as a way of keeping a boundary
21:17 - How to start using your voice - Part 1
24:44 - Why do we fear using our voices?
29:55 - Triggering - new and old trauma
42:09 - Coaching as a form of using your voice
46:58 - Listening with your heart (chakras)
50:04 - How to start using your voice - Part 2
59:36 - Meeting people where they are (Spiral Dynamics)
1:03:33 - The Jade of Mr. He