True North with Abby & Ryan

The Four Types of Coping

March 05, 2021 Abby & Ryan Season 1 Episode 55
True North with Abby & Ryan
The Four Types of Coping
Show Notes

Abby unpacks four types of coping! Ryan takes notes. And has bad audio for some reason.

The INEFFECTIVE ways to cope (they lead to burnout, keep you in fight-or-flight, and often exacerbate the problem):

  1. Over-Control. Ruminating on the past and potential futures, spinning in your thoughts about a situation or other person.
  2. Passive Coping. Complaining, numbing out, checking out, engaging in mindless activities a lot. Avoidance, habitual escapism.

The EFFECTIVE ways to cope (they refresh your interior landscape, put you in rest-and-digest, and often help you resolve the problem):

  1. Surrender (antidote to over-control). Acknowledge that things are what they are, and that most of it is out of your control. Then, own what is in your control, and take action.
  2. Active Coping (antidote to passive coping). Do what brings you life. Work out. Cook. Spend time with loved ones. Journal. Garden. Art. Dance. This isn't to cover up the difficult stuff; it's about grounding your body and mind in the present and creating occasion for the thing to get processed.

You have to trust yourself. You are the answer to your own questions about yourself. Only you know if you're on social media to connect with humans or just check out. You've got to be honest with yourself, which requires trusting yourself, which requires self-compassion, which requires self-love.

0:00 - More about crying
6:19 - Abby introduces the four types of coping
8:25 - Over-Control
12:56 - Passive "Coping"
28:28 - Surrender
40:39 - Active Coping
47:10 - Gratitude! (see below)
55:44 - Ryan Recaps, and talks about trusting yourself


  • Abby is grateful for her son!
  • Ryan is grateful for his "rewearables" basket.