True North with Abby & Ryan

Growth, Surrender, Confidence

March 12, 2021 Abby & Ryan Season 1 Episode 56
True North with Abby & Ryan
Growth, Surrender, Confidence
Show Notes


  • Sometimes, growth is less about discarding old versions of yourself, and more about integrating them.
  • Sometimes, growth is like outgrowing your sweater. If you keep it on after you've outgrown it, it'll suffocate you.
  • Sometimes, growth means forgiving your old selves instead of judging them.
  • Sometimes, growth means learning to validate and value yourself according to your own Inner Pilot Light (thank you, Lissa Rankin), rather than the commentary, reactions, and feedback of others.

"Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past."
- Corinne Edwards (paraphrasing Gerald Jampolsky), Love Waits On Welcome

The way you treat your past selves is likely the way you treat your present self. #RTA


  • Surrender is NOT accepting the inevitability of an imagined future state.
  • Surrender is NOT adopting a posture of powerlessness and doing nothing.
  • Surrender IS releasing the illusion of control over things you can't control.
  • Surrender IS holding space for everything (including yourself), to be what it is.
  • Surrender IS choosing not to attempt to control circumstances or other people, but rather, yourself - and only yourself.

When we say "stay in your own business," that includes staying out of the business of your past and future selves. #RTA too.

If you're moving away from something in your past, or toward (or away from) something you think is in your future, STAHP. Come back to now. Surrender both.

If you're averse to a potential outcome and try to steer the ship away from it, your controlling mindset will more often steer you directly into the thing you're afraid of.

Rocky relationships aren't "broken" and need "fixing." They just are what they are. Detach from your desires/fears for specific outcomes, and focus on being the most authentic you you can be.


  • Ryan is grateful that he's becoming more internally confident in his work.
  • Abby is grateful for the online delivery thingies!

3:08 - Why Ryan destroys his art (and why he's doing that less these days)
14:50 - On forgiving your past selves
21:34 - Why are we so mean to ourselves, Abby???
27:57 - Surrender
40:45 - Confidence
48:01 - Rigid vs. Ragdoll
52:52 - Some stuff about relationships