True North with Abby & Ryan
Emotions, Stories, & Tools to Become More Present
April 15, 2021
Abby & Ryan
Do your emotions have to attach to stories? Everything but the emotion is in your head.
- "I'm afraid OF ______"
- "I'm happy ABOUT ______"
- "I'm angry AT ______"
IMPORTANT POINTS ABOUT THAT:
- "Story" doesn't refer to the facts; it refers to what you make those facts mean for you.
- "In your head" and "imaginary" don't mean "not valid" or "not real."
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is or power to choose our response" -Viktor Frankl
Turn your Inner Critic into an Inner Advisor:
- Use it to help you in the present rather than scrutinize the past.
- Decide to believe it has your best interest at heart and isn't trying to hurt you.
TOOLS TO HABITUALIZE PRESENCE!!
- Spend a week being intensively on the lookout for what you feel, what sparks those feelings, and what stories in your head are attached to them. Just get in the habit of noticing.
- Become an observer to your behaviors, actions, and responses to stimuli.
- Bullet journal, set reminders on your phone, recruit loved ones to check in. Do whatever works with your wiring to keep it on the forefront of your mind during your "training period."
- Gratitude is your friend.
- No judging yourself. Period.
- Abby is grateful for her son, and for his teacher.
- Ryan is grateful for his son, and that's it.
2:34 - The problems we make for ourselves
5:30 - Emotions linking to stories
8:19 - Real fear vs. perceived fear
10:32 - Choosing our response
15:32 - Stories in your head can still be legit
23:59 - Inner Critic --> Inner Advisor
31:11 - Tools!