True North with Abby & Ryan

GUILT (and a little bit of Patriarchy)

September 09, 2021 Abby & Ryan Season 2 Episode 4
True North with Abby & Ryan
GUILT (and a little bit of Patriarchy)
Show Notes

**ANNOUNCEMENT: We are doing a virtual event!!**
"The Art of Dropping Your Defenses: Reframing Your Relationship With Your Armor"
Saturday, October 2, from 1:11 to 4pm CST
$35. Register at


In this episode, we talk about GUILT.

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves — at what we did or did not do.” — Peter McWilliams

"Guilt is something abusers use to control you." — a True North Tribe member

Defining our terms:

  • Regret: "I dislike that the past is what it is."
  • Remorse: "I dislike that I contributed to someone else's suffering."
  • Guilt: "Someone else dislikes what I did/am doing/want to do."

Guilt = a "should" + not being here (someone else's business) AND/OR not being now (past actions or future plans)

Antidote to guilt: mindfulness, presence, staying in your business.

Your brain is always working to figure out how to systematize life so that it can run on autopilot as often as possible. You can shift your autopilot into a habit of asking yourself if you're being your best in this moment.

Need a nervous system reset? Leave the environment, move your body, wash your hands.


  • Abby is grateful people and organizations who are here to help others through the challenges of going through suicide and childhood cancer.
  • Ryan is grateful that the pro-women's rights folks in Texas are exercising their own power to build the world they want to live in (re: Texas SB8 and the women's march coming up on 10/2)

7:51 - Topic: Guilt
11:39 - Regret vs. Remorse vs. Guilt
14:14 - Q: Is guilt possible if we're in our own business?
25:21 - Mommy Guilt & Patriarchy
46:45 - Body work to re-center