What is Spirituality?

There is an oft-repeated statistic that more people today are spiritual but not religious. This group, also known as the "Nones" is actually a target audience for UU congregations. Pastor Joshua explores what spirituality means – to him at least.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

An ex-girlfriend of mine had a great bumper sticker on her car. And that bumper sticker read, My karma ran over my dogma. You may have seen it. I thought it was hilarious, but it was also kind of profound because it captured something I've heard often and something I've said myself many, many times. Well, I'm spiritual but not religious. Or I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual, if you want to emphasize that. And that phrase created distance for me from institutions and doctrines that just didn't sit right. But it still left space for curiosity and wonder and meaning. And honestly, being a part of what it seemed everyone else was doing, didn't want to reject it altogether. And so it was in this state of identity, spiritual but not religious, that Tisha, my wife and I, Tisha came to me, my wife came to me and suggested we should find a community of belonging for the sake of our young daughters. Well, being an atheist myself, I was at first reluctant. I preferred to stay away from any place that promoted a dogma. But that reluctance was shaped in part by my experience growing up in a religious community where I questioned most of what I was told, and was often made to feel guilty for that. I remember feeling like curiosity just it wasn't always welcome in the specific religious community I grew up in. And in the Judaism I was exposed to, uh in the Judaism I was exposed to instilled pretty profoundly in me the fear that if I even entered a Christian church, I might be converted, brainwashed. It was a true fear. And at the same time, my experiences studying Eastern religions in college had left me with a softer perspective on spirituality. Traditions like Buddhism or Shintoism, especially when I traveled overseas to Asia, they felt to me less about rigid belief and more about philosophy and practice and presence. And they seemed to ask different questions than I was accustomed to. Not what must you believe? Not telling me you must believe this. But rather they asked, they seem to ask, how will you live? Which I imagine is what all religions are meant to ask. Ultimately, if if either of us, my wife Tisha and I, wanted something for our family, ultimately it was going to be explored. We respected each other's desires and needs. So when Tisha said, let's explore, I agreed, but with a caveat, I wanted a say in where we went, and I wanted to make sure it was thoughtful, intentionally, intentional, and that I definitely had a veto. So we began researching. I found the humanistic Jewish congregation, Adat Khaverim, which is right here in LAC. I found something called Sunday Assembly. Do you know of Sunday Assembly? It's an atheist church of sorts. It was started in the UK and now it's all over the world, and it also has a community here in Los Angeles that we visited. And Tisha found a Quaker meeting in Pasadena. And we discovered a Buddhist Dharma talk not far from where we lived. And somewhere along the way, we came across something neither of us knew much about. Had this long, cumbersome name. You know where I'm going? Yeah. Unitarian Universalism. So I approached some of those options with a little bit of skepticism, as you can imagine, especially those options that resembled traditional Christianity. And I'll be honest, I had already decided that I probably wouldn't choose those options. And yet. So when we actually showed up to these places, when we actually sat in the silence of a Quaker meeting, if you haven't done it, you should. When we listened to a Dharma talk, when we experienced a UU service, I found something unexpected. In each place, there was something at least that I could connect with. It was a moment of stillness, maybe, a sense of reflection. Often it was a shared value. More than a glimpse of just something meaningful. So ultimately, at that time, though, we chose the Buddhist Dharma talk because as our primary community at the time, we used to go every Sunday because it engaged the whole family in the service. And our daughters love that hands-on experience during the service. But the Unitarian Universalist experience stayed with me. It planted a seed. And when I was reflecting on this sermon about spirituality, I realized something important. That what Tisha and I were doing back then wasn't just searching for a community. We were searching for a place that offered a spiritual connection. We were searching for spirituality. So what is spirituality? Well, the word itself comes from the Latin spiritus, and that means breath, as D shared, the spiritual experience. Or it can mean vigor. It can also mean what we might call soul, or some people who are more spiritual might call soul. And breath, vigor, soul is something we all share. It's constant, it's sustaining, and it's often unnoticed. But it connects us. It connects us to ourselves, to one another, and to life itself. So spirituality at its core invites us to become aware of that connection. It directs us towards us outward toward each other and inward toward our own life force. Historically, the word has shifted meaning. Early on, you may know it was closely tied to Christianity. Not though, um as a contrast to the physical like it is today, but it was a distinction between ways of living, a life oriented toward the sacred versus one oriented toward the self-interest. And then in the medieval period, in the Middle Ages, it became associated specifically with the clergy. That was spirituality, the clergy. Then for a time it faded from use before re-emerging in about the 19th century with a broader, more personal meaning, which in French, I believe, was the first time it appeared back in the 19th century. And that meaning was closer to how we understand it today. Today, spirituality can mean everything from connected to a spirit, as in a ghost or an apparition, to the very process of finding meaning in life. For some, it involves connection to a God, to a higher power. But for others, it doesn't. For others, it is about just meaning making. And for others, still, it is about presence, it is about awareness, it is about relationship. The theologian Philip Sheldrake defines spirituality as a holistic approach to life, a quest for meaning, for purpose, and what he calls sacred thriving. I am especially drawn to that phrase: sacred thriving. How do we do sacred thriving? Not just surviving, not just getting through the day, but living in a way that feels aligned, that feels meaningful, that feels connected. Sacred thriving. And this thriving involves what we do, living into our values and principles, our Unitarian Universalist commitment. We're not a dogmatic church. We live into our values. That's how we practice sacred thriving. And Paul Philip Sheldrake writes that spirituality is also about embodying a vision of human existence, about how we live into that fullest potential. It's aspirational. It is a quest of sorts for identity and for meaning that is beyond self-absorption and it addresses the greater good. It is an unlocking of creativity and imagination that enables us to, and this is his quote, to touch the edge of mystery. He also describes different forms of spirituality to get more specific. Because touch the edge of mystery still doesn't give me a great idea of what it is. Um, religious spirituality. That's obviously associated with specific faith practices. An esoteric spirituality, which combines religious practices and philosophy. And examples of this include various spiritual sciences, popular, for instance, in the 19th century, like anthroposophy, anthroposophy, I'm not sure how to pronounce it, or theosophy, spiritual sciences, or even Kabbalah, the Jewish mysticism. And finally, there is secular spirituality, which involves anything outside of religion, philosophy, psychology, sociology, the arts, science, nature, social justice, gender identity, and more. And one of the beautiful things about Unitarian Universalism is that it holds space for all of these. We've had religious spirituality today. We have our um neopagan groups practicing, I would say, a sort of esoteric spirituality. We obviously have our humanists and others practicing secular spirituality. But many of us here, I would say, resonate most with what is called secular spirituality. So let's focus on that. What makes something spiritual in a secular context? How is spirituality different from just doing science or just doing social justice work or doing community service? How is it made spiritual? Well, Sheldrake again suggests that in social and professional contexts, spirituality saves us from being purely result-oriented. As, for instance, doing a straight science experience experiment might be purely result-oriented. Adding spirituality means more than that. It shifts our focus from simply achieving results in a laboratory, for instance, to cultivating ways of being. It's not just about doing good things, for instance, it's about becoming people who embody goodness. I saw this firsthand when I worked as a spiritual care provider in a hospital. This is a great example. During medical rounds, each professional brought their expertise. The doctors focus on diagnosis, you know, the uh the end result, the medical diagnosis. The nurses focus specifically on the physical care, the care of the patient. The specialists focus on various specific treatments. My role was different. I love that. I'm hearing a song. I love that when you hear songs in your head. Yeah, it's very spiritual. Embody goodness. Okay, so um, so I saw that firsthand in the hospital. They were focused on just results, on medical diagnosis, et cetera. My role was different. I was there to hold space for meaning, for emotion, for connection. I was there to ask, yes, there's this diagnosis, this diagnosis, but how is the patient experiencing this diagnosis? How are they struggling with it? Because different people struggle differently. And what does the family need? Does the family understand the diagnosis? How is the family coping? Not just medically, but emotionally, spiritually. How can we approach this situation with compassion, presence, and cultural sensitivity? So, in that setting, spirituality didn't replace the science of medicine, it deepened it. And I think the same is true in our communities. Spirituality invites us to bring attention, I'm sorry, to bring intention, to bring compassion and relationship into everything we do, even the most mundane things, even the practical, even the administrative. It is living into our values, even in our business undertakings. And even if that means doing something different than, say, a corporation might do, or a non-religious nonprofit might do, it may not seem the logical thing to do, but if we're thinking about it spiritually, that's what we might do. That is why our stewardship committee here, our social justice committee, even our events rental committee, anything administrative, is also a spiritual practice. It reminds us that how we how we do things matter just as much as what we do. And yet, even with all these definitions, spirituality remains, obviously, hard to pinpoint. It remains deeply personal to each individual, it remains subjective. Spirituality changes across cultures and across time and across individuals. It means something completely different in other parts of the world than it does in America. And it meant something different, say a hundred years ago, than it does in the 21st century. And it means things different to each individual. I'm just hearing a lot of music. It's all right. So for one person, spirituality might feel like prayer. For another, it might feel like standing in nature. For another, it might feel like working for justice, creating art, or simply sitting in silence. There are whole retreats about sitting in silence. One of our congregants shared with me in an email that spirituality for them feels like uplift, a sense of hope and joy and possibility. I love that. Because it's points to something experiential. Not just something we think about. What is spirituality? But something we feel, something we do. And to that end, I actually I want to invite us now into a sheer another shared spiritual practice, if you'll allow me before I finish. This involves everybody. And it's not about belief, it's about experience. So I'm gonna ask everybody again, if you're able, please stand up. Now take a moment to just simply look around the room and really see the people here. Not just a crowd, but as individuals. Each with their own story, their own joys, their own struggles. Now, if you if you if you'd like to, I'd like you to find someone near you. Maybe someone you don't know well. Turn toward them, and for just a moment, as long as it's comfortable, make gentle eye contact. No need to say anything. Just notice this is another human being sharing this moment with you. And now I'm gonna invite you to take this one step further. If you're comfortable, introduce yourself. Just your name. And then I'd like you to answer these simple this simple question. I'll give you a minute to introduce yourselves. And then I'm gonna ask you to answer this simple question. And I'll give you about 30 seconds to do it. What is one thing, big or small, that helps you feel connected or alive? And then I'll ask you to gently bring your attention back to the room when you're ready. And please sit down. People think of spiritual practices as singing or praying or reading from a divine text, as they are. But what we just did is also a form of spiritual practice. Because we paused and we noticed and we connected. Spirituality doesn't always happen in isolation. Sometimes, and often, in fact, it comes alive most fully between us in relationship, in the space of shared presence, in the act of listening, in the recognition that we are not alone. And even when we are by ourselves, especially when we're in nature, we realize that we are still not alone. So last week I spoke at El Camino College. Some of you may know that. Um not last week, just this week, uh, at their LGBTQIA plus support center on a panel of clergy. Well, it was a panel, there were two of us. Yeah. Reverend Paul Barrett, who's at um by the sea, St. John's by the Sea? Is that what it's called? Yeah, good guy.

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St.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Peter's by the sea. Yeah, yeah. Um, and I was asked on that panel at the LGBTQIA Plus Center, what does spirituality or belief mean to me personally today? My answer was first to name something about religion that I feel is foundational to spirituality. I know I'm conflating the two, but I love this. There's a Unitarian Universalist minister, or there was, very famous one named Forrest Church. I don't know if you've heard of him. And he said that religion is the human response to being alive and having to die. So for me, it is at first how I attempt to make meaning of existence, our existence, being alive and having to die, emotionally and logically. Now, as an atheist myself, I don't frame that in terms of a traditional divine being. But I do experience something that I would call divine or the sacred. Because for me, the sacred lives in what we just saw: relationship, in connection with others, with people, with the natural world, with connection with the values that we all strive to embody and model. But for me, the shape the sacred shows up also in moments of awe that I purposefully seek out as a spiritual practice. It shows up in acts of compassion that I purposefully undertake as a spiritual practice. It shows up in the courage to hold one another accountable with love. That's very difficult. It was also in a training this week for facilitating conflict by a group that brings Muslims and Jews together. Was very spiritual because they taught us to have that courage to hold one another. Accountable with love. And spirituality for me, finally, is the practice of noticing all of these things. Noticing these things is not enough. And also choosing to honor them. That's part of it, to ritualize them. I notice the moment of awe, I celebrate it, I live with it. That's how I practice spirituality. This is how I do spirituality and religion. A colleague of mine, Antoinette Holliman, who, by the way, will be speaking here in two weeks, wrote that her spiritual practice is community organizing. She wrote that, quote, I approach organizing as my primary spiritual practice. My prayers are the emails I send to start a relationship with someone. My meditations are the calls I receive from my community members about how they can show up better or at all. And the sacred flame that I carry illuminates the world so many of us, the world so many of us dream of, a sanctuary for everyone. I just found that very deeply moving, her perspective on her spirituality, because it reminds me that spirituality isn't confined to a person or a place or a time. It's something we we carry into each of our lives. So perhaps spirituality isn't about having the right definition of the word. There's so many. Maybe spirituality, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe spirituality thought the Grinch means a little bit more. You got it. You got the reference. Perhaps it's about asking better questions, not answering what it is, not defining it, but asking better questions. What connects us? What gives life meaning? What helps us feel most fully alive? And how do we live in alignment with those things? How do we celebrate and ritualize those things? So as we continue to shape our worship together, I invite you to reflect on your own answers to those questions. Because it will be on the test. Because spirituality in a community like this is not something handed down from me or anyone else. It's something we co-create together in this space, in our relationships, in the way we choose to show up for one another and for our world. And maybe, just maybe.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

It's something as simple and as profound as this a breath, a moment, and a connection. Shared. Maybe so.