Manage My Wedding Podcast

Receive Money as a Gift: Using The Wishing Well App MMW 209

• Yvette Sitters • Episode 209

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We often find ourselves stumped on what to gift a happy couple for their wedding? We worry if giving cash is acceptable. We chat with Lara and Lena as we explore their innovative Wishing Well App. This episode peels back the layers on how this digital platform is revolutionising the way we think about wedding gifts, offering a seamless experience for guests to send not just money, but heartfelt video messages and e-cards, all while doubling as an event website.

Weddings aren't just a time for celebration; they're a moment to contribute to the couple's future in a meaningful way. We'll chat about the delicate dance of wedding gift etiquette, the shift towards monetary gifts, and how to communicate your preference without stepping on toes.

Discover how easy it is to integrate The Wishing Well App into your wedding plans. The app's presence on both major mobile platforms makes it an accessible and cost-effective for any modern couple.

Visit our website for full shownotes HERE!

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Yvette Sitters:

Welcome to the Manage my Wedding podcast, where we believe your wedding is the most important time in your life and you deserve to feel supported and organised when planning the wedding of your dreams. I'm your host, yvette Sidders. Today, we are going to be talking about how to receive money as a gift from your wedding guests, and I know, for many of you listening, you feel strange about asking for money for gifts, so we are going to make this easy for you. Today, I'm very happy to be talking about this with the lovely ladies Lara and Lena from the Wishingwell app, which is your ultimate digital gifting platform. So welcome to the Manage my Wedding podcast, ladies.

Lara:

Hi, yvette, thanks for having us.

Yvette Sitters:

Oh, I'm thrilled to talk to you, ladies. I've been watching you for a while and I absolutely love your app and the whole concept of it and what you're doing. So I'm going to be talking about how to make things easier for wedding couples, because that's what we all want to do, right.

Lara:

Yep, that's the goal.

Yvette Sitters:

Exactly so. Tell us all about the Wishingwell app, so everyone knows what it does, and tell us all about it.

Lara:

So basically, it is a gifting platform, an electronic gifting platform. A host will create an event on the app which essentially, is creating their digital wishing. Well, it's completely free for hosts to do that. So, to create your event to receive gifts, it's all. It's at no cost, because we don't believe that you should have to pay to receive your gifts. We think that you're paying for everything else. So let's give you something here you can have for free.

Lara:

So, basically, once the Wishingwell is created, then you share a QR code, a web link or a web link with your guests, usually through your event invitation. They just have to scan that or click on the web link and then they can easily send you a monetary gift. They can send video messages, e-cards, and then, on the other end, you're receiving a gift summary which you can search guest names. It's really easy to follow. You'll see all the gifts sent, you'll see their videos, their cards and everything is all there for you. So it's so easy to track when you're doing your thank you. And then for the guest, I mean, people are sometimes like, oh, do we have to download an app? But the thing is, because it's on an app, it's so accessible and it's giving you directions to the event. It's giving you an interactive map to the venue. All of the details are there and then you can basically send the gift whenever you like. You can send video messages whenever you like. It's more convenient and just accessible and easy. I love that.

Yvette Sitters:

So basically, as well as being able to gift their money, it's like a kind of a like a little mini website, I suppose, with all the information, yeah.

Lara:

Yeah, so it's gosh. I love that what the event website does and it's all on your phone or on your device.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, that's amazing. I love that concept. I mean I worked in venues for so many years and I know, as a wedding coordinator at the venue, how stressful it is worrying about the traditional remember the traditional wishing well, where everyone put the wishing well like on the card table. Yeah, it was stressful because you're like you don't want to be, as the venue, accused or blamed of anything or anything to go missing or it's a bit risky and I remember there was always like a bit of pressure around who takes that at the end of the night. Sometimes no one would take it and then we'd end up having to put it in the safe overnight and we hated doing that because then it's kind of on our shoulders. You know everything would go missing. So you guys are kind of like eliminating all of that.

Lena:

Yeah, yeah, and then I guess, as like Brian and Groom, you don't have to worry about going to the bank and trying to get that money all into your account after. It's just like one less headache. It's just all there for you in your account.

Yvette Sitters:

Oh yes, I didn't even think of that because I remember the day after my wedding we didn't even have time to go through the cards because we had so many people around us. And then the next day we were like quickly opening them and frantically like reading them not really nicely and we did later, when we came back from the honeymoon. But we wanted to take money with us on the honeymoon and I remember we were just like we're in, it was so hurried and it wasn't really as pleasant as it could have been, can read your messages on your honeymoon.

Yvette Sitters:

Yes, I love that. How did you guys come up with this concept? It's the funniest story. Yeah, I love that you're both laughing here together.

Lara:

It's just us, in a nutshell, and I pretty much. We've done this with our husbands.

Lena:

So we're sister-in-law and we're married to two brothers and it's just from us being unorganized Pretty much we were on our way to a christening and as we're leaving the house will just, yeah, we'll just grab a card and some cash on on the way there in between church and the reception. And we're on the way to the reception and pull into a servo and there's no christening cards. Oh, we'll just go to the next one. Five servers later, no christening cards. We actually had to detour and go into a shopping center, get out and get the card and then so like we were like buying for each other as well, so it was like two cards and like eight PM fees. Later we had spent like thirty dollars, if not more, on just trying to cash out and we're at the venue like where are you guys?

Lara:

Hurry up. Yeah, okay, what do you?

Lena:

couldn't. We got in the car. My husband was like, how is there like not an app for this? There has to be an easier way to do this. This is just ridiculous. So then it just kind of stemmed from there and yeah, next few years was just trying to get it all developed and get it out there. So yeah, just came from personal experience.

Lara:

Yeah, 2000 years a while ago.

Yvette Sitters:

Oh my gosh, I love this and I'm thinking 2018. It felt like we all had more time. I'm thinking we're in 2023. Now.

Lara:

No one's got time to go find a card or do all of those things, and then it was like pre-covid and everything, so QR codes weren't really a thing back then, so and then that everyone got really used to those yeah sorry yeah.

Yvette Sitters:

I love that. That's a really cool concept. I love how things happen, like when some, when you have that moment and you're like, oh, what's missing in our life right now? We need that we need that.

Lara:

Yeah, I am.

Yvette Sitters:

I've done the card dash many a times. I have to. We've all been yeah. And then you end up giving them this card that you're like that. I would never pick a card that looks like that. That is something.

Lena:

I know, because you don't really have many options as well, especially like at a servo. They're like kind of yeah, so you just grab one and it's.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, yeah, I think it's one of those when you know you're gonna gift money, you just leave it to the last minute, you know, yeah so, on that topic, because you're like, you know you're gonna give money, because it seems to be like the way the world has gone, how do you think guests feel these days about gifting money?

Lara:

So personally, I think it's. I think they deep down prefer it because they don't have to go out shopping Finding a perfect gift and then worrying about, oh, do they already have this or is it gonna match what they have in their home, or anything like that. I think, deep down, a guest would be thankful if they're requested to give money. I think that kind of whole. Oh, it's rude to ask for money.

Lena:

Yeah, I think I'm kind of moving like past that slowly I found over the years. I don't know if that people are a lot more comfortable. Yeah, asking for it. Yeah, I said I think there are people guests themselves are more relieved to kind of see it.

Lara:

Yeah, and I think if you go out at the right way as the event host, if you're not not too direct about it, kind of make it a bit more subtle, like if you were to give a gift we would really appreciate a monetary gift and if you kind of explain what it's going towards, if you're going to put it towards your Honey yeah furnishing your home.

Lara:

I think that makes it a little bit more personal. So we've included like an event description section where you can kind of say where your gifts are going, and I think that helps because then your guests knows what you're going to be spending the money on and they're putting it towards something.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, I love that you can actually tell them what it's for. That is so good. I know, when I go somewhere now, I'd I don't want to really think about what to buy them like. I actually don't, and we all live together now. Like most, a lot of couples live together before they get married and they have everything that they need a want. Yeah, it feels to me like you're going and wasting money on something they potentially don't like and and it's landfill right. We're buying junk. That ends up in landfill.

Lara:

Yeah, like who wants more things?

Lena:

Yeah, I mean we're constantly cluttering, so Say that me too.

Yvette Sitters:

It's like the constant. No, yeah, it gives me anxiety. I'm like that rid of that clutter. Yeah, just don't need it no-transcript.

Lara:

Sorry. What are you gonna say?

Yvette Sitters:

No, I was just gonna say I've got a vase, I think, in the back of my kitchen and right now I'm thinking about that vase and I was given that for a wedding gift and it's never, ever been used. Like I got married 10 years ago, like it's just gotta go.

Lara:

Yeah, I mean, when we were doing our this was about for me 10 years ago, eight years ago for Lina, with our bridal shower registries I felt like we were putting things on there just for the sake of filling it up and having gifts for people to buy. And then I mean how many platters can you use? You don't wanna put anything on there that's too expensive, because you feel like embarrassed to ask for that.

Lara:

At least like when you're just straight up saying monetary gifts. It's so flexible, like people can just give what they can afford or what they want to. It depends on how close you are with them, whereas if you're not so close to someone and you've got a registry, they're like oh, am I just gonna give? Like a spiral.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, I was even thinking about, as you were saying that, for the bridal shower. Like you could even do it the other way around, where the maid of honor is organizing it all and the brides told her I want, what do you want for your bridal shower as a gift? Oh, I want a robe and I want some nice white, fluffy slippers. Yeah, then the maid of honor could even use the app to collect the money from all the guests and go and buy that wish list item that they wanted.

Lara:

Yeah, absolutely. Oh, I love it. It's funny you mentioned that because we've actually had a few wishing walls created for hence parties. So when you organize the maid of honor's, organized the hands, and then they're collecting all the money from everybody to attend they've actually made a wishing wall for that because it's just easier, because they can keep track. It all goes to the one bank account. There's no messier transfers or anything, and so I mean we never expected that to be used, but that party has been. So that's yeah.

Yvette Sitters:

That's such a good idea. Absolutely love that. That's a great concept. Yep, definitely. And then you've got all the details, because I know how many times like, like, go to an event or a birthday party or a function or something, and I'm like, where is that invite? Where, yes, like, even if they email you an invite, sometimes you can't find it in your emails.

Lena:

Yeah, there is certainly messages in our like family chat. Can you send us the invite? What time does it start? Like it, just it doesn't stop.

Lara:

Yeah, I think we literally tailored this up for ourselves. Yeah, pretty much.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, but you're speaking for the whole world, I'm telling you. So it's needed, it's needed, it's needed. I love it. So I think we have said that we don't think guests feel very comfortable about gifting money these days and I know that I do, you do. I think it's pretty normal to gift money, and bridal couples oh my gosh, I should not stress. So, if you're listening, do not worry about asking for money. Like people prefer it. They don't want the hassle of thinking about what to buy you. Do you think that they need another option aside from money, in your opinion?

Lara:

I mean there's even though you've requested for people to give you money, there's nothing stopping you from also having a registry, or people can still bring gifts. If there's something sentimental or it's not like there's no gun to anyone, they say you have to give me money. So I mean, even if you want to have the app and also the traditional wishing well box for the older crowd that don't feel comfortable with technology, I mean it's pretty flexible.

Lena:

We think you can probably have both options or more options.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, yeah, and I think about what most weddings have been to or weddings I've run. You always get three or four gifts that are still sitting there on the table and you're right like normally grandma or an auntie that's elderly or a friend that has probably given you money as well, but they want to also give you something funny or something sentimental too, so you're always going to get that. I think we'll never lose those couple of people that want to do that.

Lara:

Yeah, and that's the thing I mean. We completely get that as well, and that's why we wanted to make the app personal. We wanted to make it an experience, not just a transaction. So that's why we are teaching as well to give people the opportunity to share their funny memories or to give their wishes over video, because you can see their faces and it's so much nicer than just receiving a written card. Yeah, like it just adds that extra, I don't know.

Lena:

Yeah, it's just personal, like you can watch your videos and stuff later on as well, and just relive.

Yvette Sitters:

Are they there forever? Like, how does it work with the videos that have been recorded? Can they download them or can they go and visit them whenever they want?

Lara:

So they're stored on the app for 30 days and then, after the 30 days pass, then we'll send a link with all the videos there, so like a Google Drive link, and then they can do whatever they like with them. So all electronic. They don't have to worry about storing cards or anything like that.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, I love that and I'm thinking to myself like how fun it would be to use that audio, because we always get all those photos that all our guests have taken at the wedding and we don't know what to do with them. But they're the funnest and the best photos, I reckon, because it's like all the from the guest perspective of the day and you get all these photos of people that the photographer might not have taken. And I was thinking like you could create like a little slideshow with the audio or the cards reading in the background. I'm like, oh my gosh, you could do so many things with that.

Lara:

Yeah, the options are endless, yeah.

Yvette Sitters:

I love that. So you get a link after 30 days. That's perfect. So they're never lost. No, that's right. What do you think? This is a really big question, I know, but what do you guys think there's how much we should give to people. Is there an expectation? I see lots of conversations around this in Facebook groups, like wedding Facebook groups. What do you think?

Lena:

So my opinion is kind of you might sound a bit bad, cover your costs and then some as your gift. That's kind of how I look at it, but then of course it comes down to you and it's just. I don't think there's really a right or wrong.

Lara:

But yeah, I don't think there's. It's really down to, I think, more than covering your costs, because I feel like with the cost of your wedding I think I've got a different opinion to lean on this. But when you're thinking about covering the cost of your wedding, it's not just your meal that you're covering. There's so many costs associated. So I really feel like it comes down to how close you are with the person, like the couple. I think that is probably the most important. That is definitely the biggest, thing, yeah.

Lara:

It's like an acquaintance, then you're not going to be, you're not going to want to give as much and you're not expected to I don't think from the couple either Whereas if it's like your sister or your husband or something like that, then you're going to. You personally, are going to want to give more anyway. Yeah.

Lena:

No, that's definitely true.

Lara:

But then also I don't know about, I mean with our cultural background, there's definitely all they gave this much.

Yvette Sitters:

So we're going to give this much. Tell the listeners your cultural background is.

Lara:

Where Armenian yes, and everyone keeps a list. Yes, yeah, but it's there and I think that tells you what to the Greeks. Do it too, and that's why we've got that gift. Some of them are in there as well, so you don't need to keep the list like they're written on there. Yeah.

Yvette Sitters:

I don't think I've got a written list anywhere, but I'm as obvious as they come. So I get that, though it is so true because it's cultural and religion too. Certain religions do things different as well. I was thinking about it as you were talking about it, I know I definitely when I go somewhere, I'm thinking about my relationship with the person. I'm like, because you, I hadn't thought of it in that way until you said that and I'm like, yeah, I do think about that. I'm like, okay, I sort of always give that amount to my best friends. I sort of give that amount to people that might be a work colleague but not close, but they kind of want to fill the seats sometimes through that scenario too. But I was then thinking about the day. I hadn't thought about this until now because we're talking about it, but I was thinking about the day after my wedding when I was opening all my cards in a hurry, sadly, any of my friends and family listening. We did read the cards when we came back and I do have them all actually in a wedding box actually. So we do look at them sometimes, but I don't think at any point I was looking at them going gee, that wasn't a lot of money.

Yvette Sitters:

I don't think I was. I remember the big ones and you're like whoa, I can't believe they did that. And it didn't set an expectation. For the rest, you were kind of just grateful. And what are those friends you're like? Oh, you expected them not to. Really, that's pretty normal. They wear all your friends Kind of know they're a bit tight, or Can I say that. But you know what I mean, everyone knows what I mean. But yeah, there's never any like hard feelings towards any of it, and I don't even think I remember to this day who gave what. But so I think that, yeah, do it based on how you feel about the person, and also like we're living in 2023. I know us girls just quickly talked about this briefly. Everything is so expensive.

Lena:

I was just going to say it's hard now. We got married seven years ago, yeah, and you've got a list. So if we get invited to someone's wedding now, we look back we're like, okay, they gave us that much, but look at the cost of living now. You can't, for example, give them the $150 that they gave you after so many years.

Lara:

So, yeah, Inflation, yeah, interest.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, it's so true yeah.

Lena:

Yeah.

Yvette Sitters:

Because it's definitely costing a lot more to host an event these days than it was there, yeah, so yeah, and hence why we're getting so many people are loping and having all the weddings at the moment too, because it's just a trend, because people just can't afford it. People are worried about their money, yeah, but so, yeah, go with, don't put yourself in debt. If you're listening and you're about to go to a wedding as well, don't put yourself in debt because you think that they expect a certain amount, like did the right thing by you and them. Really isn't it.

Lara:

Yeah, I feel like after you've got a marriage, you just feel so elated anyway, like you're on cloud nine. You're relieved that the wedding stress is over. I think the last thing you're worrying about is how much someone so gave you. Yeah.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, totally agree, totally agree. And I think it's all also in the way that you ask for the money, because everyone gets hung up on asking for money, but that's not, actually, I don't think, the problem. I think we just need to ask for it in a nice way and we need to word it. There's so many beautiful ways that you can now word on your invite or on your website, or you can word it so nicely about asking for money. You can make it a poem or just a really light kind of way to ask people. It's not, hey, we don't want gifts, give us money, yeah.

Lara:

Exactly, yeah, we've actually got a blog article about that. Yeah, like non-tacky and like kind of nice ways to ask for monetary gifts. So there are definitely like ways to go about it where it feels less confronting for the whole year and, yeah, makes it easier.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, I agree, I think so too. I don't think anyone gets a card these days and expects them to be giving like this whole, like a list from Maya of what they need to buy them. Yeah, yeah, I can't imagine getting that. I can't remember the last time that actually happened. Actually, it's been a while. It's been a while.

Lara:

Actually I was. It's funny because people just confess things to us. They know we're behind the app and they just blurt out that you probably wouldn't normally say. But I was speaking to someone the other day and she was going to a kitchen tea with the registry and she was like everything on here is so expensive. There's like four cups for $600. She goes. I know that if if she was to go buy it herself, she would have gotten them from Kmart.

Lena:

It's true, right, yeah, because you're not really going to go spin. Yeah, it's exogenous.

Lara:

I just feel like it's probably a really dated, concept yeah, definitely.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, I agree, and it's like the whole traditional thing as well, like wedding traditions have kind of escaped us for a reason, because they're not personalized. Wedding traditions are something someone put in place a long time ago and that don't reflect our personalities. I think that the whole gifting thing is one of those traditions that's just been squashed for all the right reasons. Yeah, so I love what you guys have done. It's a great concept, it's a great idea, it's such a nice way you can do it. Have you had any nice stories and feedback afterwards as well, from Brides, from Brides, I guess?

Lena:

Yes, I guess so.

Lara:

It's always the bride, isn't it?

Yvette Sitters:

It's not after the groom, but it comes back.

Lara:

I think ours is really popular with the grooms. Yes, they're all down for it when we go to X-Bose, x-bose.

Lena:

Yeah, I feel like they're easily more. They come in faster than the brides are. They're just like, yeah, anything that's going to make things easier.

Yvette Sitters:

Yes, it's not all the pretty fluffy stuff to them, right? It's like techie, it's money yeah.

Lara:

But after weddings people are just kind of mind blown because it's not really something that you think about and you think about organizing until it's probably too late.

Lena:

Yeah.

Lara:

So then once they, if they have done it and they have included on their invitations and everything they're like this actually solved so many logistical nightmares that we didn't even anticipate, and just knowing that we didn't have to deal with it is you guys have been a life saver. Yeah.

Lena:

And it is those, as you were mentioning before, who's going to take the money and banking it and all that stuff. So, yeah, well, the guests, they love it because it's easier. Unlike what we were saying before, there's just eliminates that headache of the card, the cash out, because a lot of people nowadays don't really have cash anyway. So a lot of the feedback we get from the guests as well. It's just it's so easy, it's so convenient. They love the video messaging, especially when they can actually record their message during their event as well, which is really fun to see with a couple as well later on. So yeah, all rounds, it's just great feedback.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, I'm so glad to hear that. I have one logistical question for you. Actually, it made me think about it as you're talking about that. Can they access the funds before the wedding?

Lara:

So they can. The guests can send their gifts pretty much as soon as they scan the code or access the web link. And, yes, so those funds are in their bank account within three business days. Yeah, it's based on when the guests send, if they're not held or anything and we don't actually touch the funds at all. So a gift is sent and it's all processed through Stripe. So then Stripe will pay it out to the bank account and it's their bank account within a few business days. So if the guest chooses to send the gift early on, that's there, which is so good for when you're meeting. Yes, like that. And then if they also have up to 30 days after the event to send gifts as well, if they've been lazy or forgotten or unorganized, they've got that 30 day window after an event has passed to continue to send gifts.

Yvette Sitters:

Perfect, because I was just thinking about it's hard in those last couple of weeks of wedding planning with money. Yeah, a lot of people run out of money.

Lena:

Yeah, things due right before the wedding.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, it's fantastic. I love the idea, and the couple could even set up a wedding account or a honeymoon bank account, so all the money goes straight there, and then they have it all kept together as well. I love it. It's a great idea.

Lara:

They also get notifications every time a gift comes in, so within the app and an email to let them know. So it's an easy way for them to track it as well. So they'll know if they've got some money hitting their account anytime soon, which is always exciting.

Yvette Sitters:

We all want money hitting our bank account. Oh no, it's fantastic. Thanks so much, guys, for sharing. I love what you've done. Can you give us your number one wedding planning tip? Cool, do you want to start? Obviously, we know that your number one planning tip is get this app, because you're going to make your life easier, but aside from that, tell us what you can both give us. Give me one, if you like.

Lara:

I think I have one Okay. I think that it is so important to just you need to do you Absolutely.

Lara:

You're going to have so much noise and people telling you you should do this or you should do that, and there's so much out there, like on social media, and I just feel like you need to take a step back and not feel pressured and really sit down with your partner and think this is what we want and this is how we want to do it, Because once you get to the day, it's not going to be like I told them to do this and they didn't do that. Everyone's just going to kind of be happy to be there celebrating with you and you're going to be the one that's thinking, oh, I wish I did it my way. So I think really just listen to figure out what you want and stick to it.

Lena:

I think that's so important. I couldn't agree more, especially with how it is nowadays with social media, like we didn't have to go through. But yeah, seeing it all now, I definitely agree.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah.

Lena:

Do what?

Yvette Sitters:

makes. Totally, it's my biggest thing, like it's the biggest reason people have regrets. It's the main reason people are overwhelmed. It's the main reason people are not enjoying wedding planning, because people's opinions, advice and it's just you've got to accept it. You've got to say yes, thank you, yeah, nod your head, yeah, take it on board and just forget about it Because there's so much pressure. Isn't there? Like, I feel like Instagram, especially Instagram and Pinterest yeah, weddings has really made people think that they need so much more than what they actually need. Yeah, yeah, I think it's gone, gone yeah.

Yvette Sitters:

Yeah, so, no, that's a fantastic tip. It's so important and it's something that I probably bang on about it a lot, so you just reconfirming my thoughts. So great tip, hearing your reels and things like that. Oh yeah, it's stuck with me. You also know it's working. No, it's so true, like the day after your wedding, your auntie doesn't wake up and go oh, she didn't have those flowers I said she should have, and even if she did, a week later she's going to forget. But you're always going to be the one that wakes up forever saying I wish I didn't do that. I just want to do that. Yeah, so it's great, great piece of advice. So thank you so much again. Ladies, can you tell the listeners where can they find you?

Lara:

Yes, so, first of all, they can download the app for free on the App Store, google Play, where wishingwellapp on Instagram and wishingwellappcomau for our website.

Yvette Sitters:

Yep, and I am going to share all the links in the show notes as well. So if you need to go there, go to the show notes and check out those links and go and download the app. We all want things in our wedding planning journey that make things easier, easier, cheaper and just save us time, and this is definitely one of those, and I think this is something that everyone should have for their wedding. So make sure, please go and download the wishingwellapp and, as you can see, you can't see your hearing. As you can hear, these ladies are lovely. They're awesome humans. They've created something really good. So I'm all for supporting family to family run businesses really there's two different families but I'm all for supporting businesses that amazing women have created themselves. So well done, girls. I think it's fantastic and a big supporter.

Yvette Sitters:

Thank you so much.

Lara:

Yvette, that means so much.

Yvette Sitters:

Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for being here today and sharing. Thank you.