Manage My Wedding Podcast

Embracing Flexibility: Turning Wedding Mishaps into Bliss MMW 216

• Yvette Sitters • Episode 216

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Ever faced a moment when your meticulously laid plans suddenly went up in smoke? Literally? With unexpected twists like a dream venue burning down or a band's abrupt breakup, this episode shines a light on the unforeseen chaos that can surprisingly sweeten the big day.

Yvette Sitters your professional wedding expert of 23 years shares  how embracing flexibility can transform wedding challenges into moments of bliss. Discover why flexibility is the key to a stress-free and magical wedding day.

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Yvette Sitters:

Welcome to the Manage my Wedding podcast, where we believe your wedding is the most important time in your life and you deserve to feel supported and organised when planning the wedding of your dreams. I'm your host, Yvette Sitters. Hello, welcome back to the Manage my Wedding podcast. I want to talk about today flexibility during your wedding planning. And the reason I want to talk about flexibility during wedding planning is because we all know sometimes things don't quite always go to plan during planning or on the wedding day itself, and sometimes things will change and it can be really upsetting at the time. It can be so upsetting because you can be like I booked that band for a reason, because the singer was amazing, and now the band is broken up because the guitarist has pulled out and they can't find a replacement, and we can get ourselves so worked up about that. But you know I'm such a massive believer that everything happens as it's meant to happen. You know the universe doesn't for a reason to us and it doesn't feel like it at the time, but it's meant to happen and the outcome always ends up being better. We get so stressed and upset and then later we're like I'm so glad that happened because it was even better. You know, for example, the band thing that I just said. The band might end up being so much better. All you guess might. The next day you're like. Everyone was on the dance floor all night and they raved about the band for years it was meant to be. Imagine, instead, it being the day before your wedding and finding out that the band had broken up and they're not going to be there. They've had a falling out. That's going to be worse. So things that occur during wedding planning are meant to happen when they happen, so they don't happen on your wedding day. But we have to learn to embrace the change and embrace being flexible, as hard as that can be sometimes.

Yvette Sitters:

You know, I've got a really good example. I was working in a wedding venue that overlooked the ocean in Sydney. I worked there for about three years and a venue that was within walking distance from us. It burnt down on a Friday night. Now there was a wedding that was meant to take place there on a Saturday. Then there is a wedding on the Sunday. This venue was predominantly a wedding venue, so they had weddings most days of the week, sometimes two weddings in a day if there was a lunch and a dinner one.

Yvette Sitters:

So you can imagine how many brides and grooms were devastated, especially the ones that were in the couple of months coming up from that day. They were so stressed out you know I had people lined up in the lobby wanting to speak to me, just desperate to find a date and secure a date on the same day because they booked all their other vendors and they were so stressed and so upset Understandably. It's your venue, right, it's a big deal. That's pretty extreme, that's pretty much the worst thing that can happen. And majority of those people, after the wedding, wrote the most beautiful letters and emails and sent me the most gorgeous gifts and said they're so glad that it happened because of the friendship that I made with them and because of the service, because I took my job so seriously and I probably even went more over and above, if that was even possible for those people, because I knew how hard it was for them in the lead up. And they all said how glad they were that their venue was moved because we gave better service from the moment we took over.

Yvette Sitters:

You know there's always a reason that these things happen. You know they had an ocean view, whereas the other venue was, you know, backed onto, it was like an open I don't it was not a creek, but like a big lake, but a big one. Our beautiful venue was a stunning venue, but ours had a better outlook and everyone afterwards was so grateful that they ended up being there. So these things always occur as they're meant to occur and it's best that you know now things will happen. They do happen.

Yvette Sitters:

Your bridesmaid's dresses might turn up and they're not the right shade of green, thank you. But no one else knows who comes to your wedding that things aren't how they were meant to be. You are the only person that knows. So no one else is pointing out those things. No one else is noticing. They're not noticing that the place cards aren't the ones that you wanted. They aren't noticing that the flower bouquets aren't exactly the size that you wanted. They're there, they are having fun, they're enjoying it. They're thinking everything is incredible, and you need to feel that too, because I'm telling you it shows in your face.

Yvette Sitters:

I have seen so many brides, they've been so stressed out and it shows they are not walking down that aisle glowing and looking radiant, because you can see the stress or the frustration that they might have had or the lack of sleep. So it's so important to stay flexible for so many reasons Also for your own sanity and your partner's sanity and all your friends and everyone else who's dealing with you and make sure you just have really, really great relationships with your vendors. Because I'm telling you, if you have that and you treat them with kindness and you treat them how you want to be treated, they will bend over backwards. If something's going to go wrong, they will go out of their way to help you. If your photographer's sick, they know other photographers. The cake maker will know other photographers, the venue will know other photographers and if you are good to them, they will want to help you.

Yvette Sitters:

I actually remember seeing a post just recently a wedding planner that I know at a Gold Coast venue. He posted in the Gold Coast like a Gold Coast wedding group and he posted on his personal wedding page saying Desperate does anybody know a wedding photographer that can come to my venue? Now? The photographer did not turn up and have already missed the ceremony, but if we can capture some shots before the reception and during the reception, that will alleviate some of the stress that the couple are feeling Like. Imagine that, imagine that moment happening. But this is life, this is what happens. These things happen. Now I don't know I actually should follow that up. I don't know, we don't know the photographer could have had an accident on the way. I don't know. I didn't, I haven't asked. I'm going to ask actually after this. I'm not sure what happened, but these things occur and they occur in life as well, not just in wedding planning.

Yvette Sitters:

So it's best now to understand that. You know, sometimes things just won't go to plan, and that's okay and we just work through them and it'll come out better. But, like I said, have great communication with your vendors, because that will help, and be flexible. Make flexibility your superpower, because if it's your superpower, you will just be happy with everything and the planning will just feel so much more enjoyable and the day will be so much better. And just manage your own expectations as well throughout the planning.

Yvette Sitters:

It's best to accept things gracefully as they occur during planning. Just gracefully handle the deviations, because if you handle it gracefully, it won't feel as intense and it will be easier to work through instead of flying off the handle, getting mad, getting anxious, losing sleep over it, like that is not how we want to enjoy wedding planning and if we're flexible and we're ready to accept that sometimes things might go wrong, then everything is going to work out more beautifully. You won't notice, you just won't notice. And, like I said, the main important thing is no one else notices and I say this all the time to bridal couples no one else knows. If things go wrong, don't worry, just keep on going. Keep on going. No one else knows. And then the day after the wedding, get mad about it then. But I'm telling you by then, honestly, you wake up the next day after the wedding. You're like oh my God, the day was amazing, I had the best day. But if you get caught up in getting upset on the day or you're looking for problems, then you're not going to have really good memories. You are there to marry the love of your life and that is all that matters. As long as you get married and you have a dance and a boogie, then everything is perfect. Everything is perfect.

Yvette Sitters:

I think I did this post in social media. Please come and follow me on Instagram. It's my favorite. I'm all on all the platforms, but I love Instagram the most because I feel like I can build a bond with couples, and particularly brides, and I can just chat to brides in the DMs and I just I love it. I get to know you, I get to know your wedding. So please, if you not, come to manage my wedding on Instagram and follow me and say hi, tell me when your wedding is and tell me you've been listening to the podcast so we can chat.

Yvette Sitters:

But I did a post sorry, I was trying to remember where I was going with this because I went off track. I did a post and it was something like if, at the end of the day, you married the person that you love, then everything went perfectly and that's literally how it is. That is the truth. That is why you are getting married. It's not about having this gorgeous dress and the best flowers and all of that. None of that matters. Just marrying the person that you love is all that matters, and if you go in there with that perception, your wedding day will be better than you ever imagined, ever imagined. So that is all I wanted to share today.

Yvette Sitters:

I know that you're like, oh my gosh, she talked a lot to just to talk about being flexible, but it's so important. So embrace the things that go wrong. Embrace those icky phone calls from a vendor that something's canceled. Embrace that those your wedding shoes weren't at the exact color and just whatever it is is how it was meant to be, and take that on board in life as well. It's really really, really important. As I get older and wiser, I think I think I'm getting wiser as we get older, I am learning to embrace things exactly as they are, and I always say to my kids it's perfect the way it is, this is the way it's meant to be. Just accept that and I know, if you take this episode on board, that you will really have a truly magical wedding day. I know that you will. So, yeah, be happy. Don't say I don't wanna bring on change for you. I just want you to embrace it. If it's needed, be flexible and, until next time, enjoy being engaged and staying stress-free and organized while planning the wedding of your dreams.