LINDSAY FRIEDMAN: From Caregiver to Innovator: Fixing the Broken Long-Term Care System

The long-term care system is one of the most important issues families will face, yet few people understand it until they are in the middle of a crisis.

In this episode of Love Conquers Alz, hosts Susie Singer Carter and Don Priess welcome Lindsay Friedman, a care advocate, writer, and educator dedicated to transforming how families navigate aging, caregiving, and long-term care.  Lindsay is a four-time healthcare startup founder on a mission to solve real-world problems in caregiving and long-term care. (Our kind of girl!!)

Lindsay’s perspective is uniquely powerful. She has experienced the system from every side: as a nursing assistant working in memory care and nursing homes, as a family caregiver, and even as a care recipient herself.

She shares how these experiences inspired the creation of two groundbreaking platforms:

• CareBloom – a technology designed to help families monitor caregiving tasks and ensure accountability in care environments
• LTC Nav – a free planning resource helping families understand the financial and logistical realities of long-term care before crisis strikes

Together, Susie, Don, and Lindsay dive into the real challenges families face, including:

• The lack of accountability in many care facilities
• Why planning for long-term care earlier is essential
• The emotional realities of caregiving and aging
• How technology could improve oversight and protect vulnerable patients
• The importance of empathy and dignity in caregiving

This conversation is honest, emotional, and deeply informative. It reminds us that while the system may be broken, awareness, planning, and compassion can make a powerful difference.

Because at the end of the day, the heart of caregiving is simple:

Love.

LTC Nav on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube 

EMAIL: hello@LTCareNav.com

Carebloom on

Transcript

Love Conquers Alls Opening

Susie SInger Carter 0:00

When the world has got you down, Alzheimer's sucks.

Don Priess 0:05

It's an equal opportunity disease that chips away at everything we hold dear. And to date, there's no cure. So until there is, we continue to fight with the most powerful tool in our arsenal. Love. This is Love Conquers Alls, a real and really positive podcast that takes a deep dive into everything Alzheimer's. The good, the bad, and everything in between. And now, here are your hosts, Susie Singer Carter and me, Don Priest.

Susie SInger Carter 0:39

Hi everybody, I'm Susie Singer-Carter.

Don Priess 0:42

And I'm Don Priest, and this is Love Conquers Alls. Hello, Susan.

Susie SInger Carter 0:47

Donald. How do you?

Don Priess 0:50

How do I do I do okay, you know? How do you do? How do you do?

Susie SInger Carter 0:56

Wow.

Don Priess 0:56

Yeah.

Roar For LTC Launch

Susie SInger Carter 0:57

Um, I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah. I finished uh I finished. Here's my big um, I'm gonna make my announcement. We I finished the Roar for long-term care, Roar, the number four, LTC website myself.org.org.org, yes, because nonprofit is just another word for sweat equity, is what I'm saying. Uh yeah. But I feel very proud of myself because she did.

Don Priess 1:29

She did the entire website from scratch by herself. It's it looks great and it's all functional and everything. And she only spent about 18 hours a day for like seven straight days doing it. I did, you know. Yeah.

Susie SInger Carter 1:41

I did. I'm a maniac. I could not, I was like, just one more. Let me just get this done. Let me just get this done. And then it's like four in the morning. And then, yeah, and that's when mistakes start happening too. So yeah. But um, yeah, so I invite everybody that's listening to go to our roar for ltc.org and and um, you know, at least take a look at it and see what's there uh in terms of um our mission to reform long-term care based on our documentary, No Country for Old People, which is a very um important project, I think we think for everyone to see because it's uh it's a real um it's a real snapshot of what our long-term care system truly is right now, which is not great, and it needs to be reformed like yesterday. And that's what we hope to do with Roar, which stands for respect oversight advocacy and reform. And we need as many people to join and be a part of it, be a roarier and roar for people that don't have a voice, and that and there's well way too many. So um we could use your help in any way that you can help. We invite you. So um, and even if you don't, take a look at the website, share it with somebody else, or if you have feedback and you want to tell me something, don't about because don't we she just want to hear it, but we are looking for volunteers, we're looking for donations.

Don Priess 3:09

We we we need to do that.

Susie SInger Carter 3:10

Donations always forget the money part.

Don Priess 3:12

Yeah, I know, but we don't like to talk about that, but it's a reality, and we need it to move this engine forward. And but volunteers are just uh, if not more important, to do whatever you bring your skills to the table. We need people's stories, we need people to share with their story because all the the whole thing, starting with No Country for Old People and the World Movement, it's all it is storytelling. It's hearing people, it's knowing what's going on.

Susie SInger Carter 3:38

It's the power of story. His story really does resonate with people more than data does. So there is that's a good point, excuse me, Dawn, because we have a page where you can share your story, you can upload it, you can upload video and and photos, images, and your document or whatever you however you want to share your story. And if you, you know, you can also read other people's stories there that will are um there for you to read. And and that really is can be very comforting, let you know that you're not alone. And certainly you're gonna find um stories, maybe most of them, that you're gonna relate to and say, I went through that. I get it, I'm I've been there, and you will feel vindicated and hopefully motivated to want to help change this system because it's just staying, it's just status, you know, it's the status quo for 50 years. So we really need to get we need to accelerate the reform because people are suffering.

Don Priess 4:42

Every minute of every day as we speak.

Susie SInger Carter 4:45

As we speak.

Don Priess 4:46

Yes.

Susie SInger Carter 4:47

Yes. So um and what's uh anything good other than that, what's is anything good that you want to share?

Don Priess 4:53

Well, by the time this comes out, we'll see. I'm sure it'll be after the Super Bowl. My Rams won yesterday, so I'm very, very happy. They still have uh they're not in the Super Bowl yet, they still have another game, and hopefully that will happen. So that put me in a good mood. Uh, and I think that's important because who wants me in a bad mood? Nobody does.

Susie SInger Carter 5:13

Nobody.

Don Priess 5:13

Nobody spent a fabulous day with your your family yesterday, and you're still uh paying the price.

Susie SInger Carter 5:24

I'm still paying the price. So, you know, I have two little granddaughters, three and six now. She's six. And and now, because that wasn't enough, then my daughter had to get uh a brand new standard poodle named Penny Lane, who is absolutely gorgeous. But Penny Lane does not know how big she is. Penny Lane has giant paws and literally doesn't sit on on her haunts. She sits on her butt like a human being. Like her legs are there, they're like long legs, she crosses them. She's like, she really thinks she's a human being and does no idea how big she is. She's what, eight, like 16 weeks or something, 17 weeks, and she's close to 20 pounds and she's huge. She's got paws like this, like boom, boom, boom, like she could play pickleball with her paws. So she does. She does. They're smart poodles. Poodles are smart.

Don Priess 6:21

And she outweighs uh the other three dogs. Yeah, almost outweighs them combined.

unknown 6:27

Yeah.

Don Priess 6:28

The two the two Yorkies and the my little Yorkie that's five pounds. Yeah, but they bark at this this dog all day long. They do not stop.

Susie SInger Carter 6:38

And uh so it was hell yesterday. But but good hell, you know. Good hell. Good hell. Yeah, fun hell. It's all good. I'm not complaining, I'm just sharing. I'm just shares. So feel free to share Z's back. But you know, I has a lot of energy. I'm just saying. It's a lot of energy with puppy.

Don Priess 6:58

Susie falls asleep during the interview. It do not take uh, you know, it's fine. I'll pick it up. I'll wake her up.

Susie SInger Carter 7:05

I've got my caffeine trip. I'm good to go because we have a great guest today.

Why This Season Expands Focus

Don Priess 7:09

We really do. She's uh she's um super super interesting and uh and has some.

Susie SInger Carter 7:15

I want to say something about before you get into our guest. I just want to say that you know, it's the it's the beginning of the year. I'm not gonna say happy new year because you know, it would be like people get angry because it's you know past the whatever. But happy new year. Ha ha, I did it. But you know, uh we've been really busy with the documentary, as you know, and we used to do two shows a month. And we're and I think you know, now that we're things are getting a little bit more back to normal, I hope that we get back to doing two shows a month. And uh that and then you know, whoever is still listening to us and watching us, thank you for sticking with us. We have the best guests, I'm just saying. Not you know, I don't know, we just do, and I'm so proud of all of our guests. So, you know, and I've got we've got a bunch of really fantastic people booked, and um, we're gonna be, you know, obviously you can tell we've expanded our conversation from not just Alzheimer's but also long-term term care in general. So um stay stick with us, share with other people, remind them that we're here because I I really feel like it's you know, we're gonna have some good stuff for you. Okay, that's it. So let's let's go on. We've got a lot of things to talk about.

Don Priess 8:31

Definitely, and one of them is our guest.

Susie SInger Carter 8:34

Yeah. Should I introduce her?

Meet Care Advocate Lindsay Friedman

Don Priess 8:37

Should I do it? Okay, I'll do that right now. Lindsay Friedman is a care advocate, writer, and educator dedicated to transforming how families navigate aging, caregiving, and long-term care. Lindsay brings a rare perspective shaped by her real experience on multiple sides of the system, from working as a nursing assistant in memory care, nursing homes, and assisted living, to serving as a family caregiver, and she was a care recipient herself. She's the creator of CareBloom and LTCNav.com, two powerful platforms designed to make long-term care more proactive, compassionate, and clear, helping families identify risks earlier, plan smarter, and avoid crisis-driven decisions. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the long-term care journey, stay tuned and say hello to Lindsay Friedman. Hello, Lindsay.

Lindsay Friedman 9:30

Hello, thank you so much for having me.

CareBloom Wearable Support Explained

Susie SInger Carter 9:32

Hi, Lindsay. Thank you for coming on. Yeah, I'm so happy that you that we connected over the holiday and that we got got to get you on so quickly because I like uh you do so much in the long-term care uh community and arena and like in so many different ways. So super excited to to talk to you about what you're doing, especially with the AI. And so why don't we let's just set the stage of what you do with your professionally and then go back to why and how you got here. Okay.

Lindsay Friedman 10:06

So what I'll kind of break it down to one company and then the other. So the first one is called CareBloom, and we are a caregiver support tool that allows families to get have peace of mind under their caregiving journey. So what's really nice is it's a watch. We kind of track behaviors, we track ADL, so it's not about health as much. It's really, did mom get out of bed? Did she eat her breakfast? Did she use the bathroom? Is she moving around? Is she staying where she's supposed to? It we alert on all these different things that is set by the user. But, you know, as Susie and I spoke, what's really different about what we're doing is we also offer a piece for the home health aides or for the nursing assistants where we can track their behaviors as well. This company came about because of my experience with my grandma and having been a nursing assistant to see how there's a lot of shortcuts in the industry on the behalf of the AIDS. A lot of it is, the majority of it is because they are understaffed and taking care of too many people, and the only way to get it done is to rush. And when we rush and these situations arise, quality of care diminishes drastically. So what we do is we actually verify that the tasks are being done and done completely and not rushed, because better care means better outcomes. So that is one that's CareBloom. And then LT Care Nav came out of the questions I was getting from CareBloom. So we were doing installs into homes, and people were like, This is great, this is gonna be super helpful, but how do I know when my mom needs more care and we have to look at a facility? What is that facility gonna cost where I live? How am I gonna pay for it? And who do I contact when the time is right? So, as much as CareBloom was giving them this great solution, there were still so many open questions. And so I create a care nav to address those exact things. So when you come to our site, which is free for every families to use because I thought that was so important, we take some information and we actually give you all that. We understand what your care trajectory looks like to give you a really comprehensive idea of what care might look like today, tomorrow, five years, ten years from now. How are you gonna pay for it with the financial means you have today? Versus are there tools that you could use to help? What kind of public assistance are there? Or how to come kind of to a really nice safe landing into Medicaid because the earlier you plan, the better your situation's gonna be. And then lastly, we actually set you up with a care concierge team. We are not a place for mom, we are not mass lead generation, we are care connection. So we have vetted every single person who is on our site, and we make a match for you that says, here is Jane, she's a great person to know. And when you're ready, reach out to Jane for these sorts of needs. And we give you a bunch of suggestions along the way, and it's up to you to understand how you want that connection to occur, but it's a whole toolbox for long-term care.

Susie SInger Carter 13:34

It's excellent. Because we talk about like you know, aging in place and how how much better it is all the way around, you know, for someone who is is on a uh disease who has a disease that's exponential, right? So but it it they're gonna do better at home. But there is a time, some often, sadly, that it gets to a point where, you know, whatever your situation is, you may not be able to take care of, you know, you can't keep up with the comorbidities. And then, you know, or you may not be have the space, you may not have the the funds. So you have to think about that in advance. It's better to think about it in advance than when you're scrambling because you've run out of money, or you know, there's been uh a 180 in your loved one's health and and you can't keep up with it. So that's so important. That's so important. I just want to say before like is this service have a price tag to it?

Lindsay Friedman 14:38

CareBloom does have a price tag, it's hardware, there's a cost to it. We have tried to make it as easy of uh uh a decision for families as possible. So we actually don't charge for the hardware, and so it's just a monthly fee. We really feel that families need this and they need support. So our goal is to not gouge by any means. So there is no upfront hardware fee. You use the product if you like it, um, you just pay the monthly fee. It's like cable. It's like cable, right? And it's less than cable.

Don Priess 15:10

But does that uh when you're what when you're at a facility though, how does that have do you have to work with the facility uh to A, get permission to use it? Uh B, does it incorporate with any of their systems, or how does that work?

Lindsay Friedman 15:23

So as a family member, if you are in a facility, you have the right to use it. I don't know nationwide, there might be some stuff, but here in Ohio, we had a law passed that we can have devices for families to monitor. So I think that is a huge game changer. I think that should be you should be able to do that across the country, right? I think it's gonna change the landscape. What's really nice is that we're not cameras, so there's still some privacy for the families. So we in Ohio, you can go in and you can put it in and you're good to go. We are starting to work with facilities and to get that so it's more of a wider range practice that they have. We are working, it's been it's been an interesting push to understand the value of monitoring caregivers. And Susie and I had this conversation. Um they almost don't want to know that they're doing a bad job or that they're not providing care, and they they don't want to be held accountable, and this holds them too accountable. So we have had pushback with that piece of it in assisted living, which is really sad because your approach should be I see the care is not being done, what can we do? How do we readjust, right? Why it's not about punishment, it's readjusting behaviors to meet expectations, right?

Susie SInger Carter 16:51

Yeah, but that plays into the business model. Yeah, it plays into the business model because it it it's unfortunately there, you know, the the frontline providers are our frontline providers are answering to uh other other chiefs. So they're answering to the corporate. They and the corporate doesn't really care. They just want to be they have to they do their minimum of function to make the most amount of of profit. And and that's just that's just the way it is right now. So holding them accountable on, you know, is it's it's you have to hold them accountable because no one else is. However, it's difficult because it it puts them in a position of of you know, they're between a rock and a hard place because they have to answer to you. And then they have to answer to their corporate. So that puts them in a but but you know what, don't let that stop you because you know, despite that, you you have to know as a caregiver what is going on with your family, with your loved one, you have to, you know, because there is in the right amount of oversight and enforcement and accountability. So you must be all those for your loved one. And you know, that just that is just the nature of the beast right now. What so when what kinds of things does it oversee that that this that this you know technology oversees? Like it's when is mimobile, does it does it does it report on turns and hydration and and you know uh changing of uh diapers and all those things? Yes, yep.

The Turning Data That Shocks

Don Priess 18:31

And feeding and all that, yeah.

Lindsay Friedman 18:33

Yeah, so actually our first test with this was before COVID. Was and we went in, yeah, we went into nursing home before COVID to really test toileting and turning because um those are the two, I think, tasks that are done that really determine how healthy you're going to stay, right? Toileting, not changing, ulcer, like you get bed sores, you get UTIs, and then turning really comes down to those pressure ulcers again. So those are the two big things we really tracking. And we went into a home that our investor was great and got us into, had a relationship with, and the owner of the home was like, This is gonna look real bad. And it really matter of fact, he's like, it was a Medicaid home, and he's like, but let's see what we can do. He's like, I want to see this. So we put it on 100 patients, three in particular who had uh bed sores, like you've seen Susie, that just terrible. And we didn't tell the caregivers what we were monitoring, and the owner was like, You're wearing this. So we had a few months and we watched their behavior and then we took their charting. And they were marking that they were toileting turning a hundred percent of the time, like check, check, check, right? Yep, less than twenty percent of the time were we able to verify the task.

Don Priess 20:01

Yeah.

Susie SInger Carter 20:02

So that's so important, everybody. You need to like listen to that's that's a really important thing, less than 20% of the time.

Don Priess 20:09

Because you'll see those charts sometimes sitting behind them and it'll say, Yeah, two o'clock, four o'clock, like it. And you're like, are they really doing it or are they just putting that or are they just writing it in? And right, or even the opposite.

Susie SInger Carter 20:21

Like when I would go into my and I put this in the documentary, like there was a chart, a turning chart, and like it there was nothing filled in from like 7 a.m. to like 4 p.m. when I got there. And I and in my mind I thought, oh, they're just so busy they didn't fill it in. But in fact, no, they just didn't get to her.

Don Priess 20:40

Yeah.

Lindsay Friedman 20:41

And I'm surprised they left those checks broke. I remember seeing that on the documentary, and I was like, well, they're more honest caregivers because most times, and when I was a nursing assistant, I watched people do check marks and I was like, eh, let's chat about this, right?

Don Priess 20:58

Yeah, right.

Lindsay Friedman 20:59

But we went back to the case.

Susie SInger Carter 21:00

But it doesn't also show. I'm sorry, Linda, I'm just gonna say, but that just shows how busy they were because they didn't even have time to go back and like, you know, and fake it. Yeah. They might have done it at the end of their shift.

Lindsay Friedman 21:12

Yeah.

Don Priess 21:15

My mom's in a in a in a uh rehab facility now for a stage four bed sore from a facility that was, you know, we're paying over ten thousand dollars a month, and uh she got it there. Um and so that would have been very valuable to have that there. And now the facility, it's great. I mean, because the bedsore it's almost healed. It's been months now, but it's almost healed. But suddenly her charts disappeared in her room. Like two weeks ago, they're suddenly and they were there, and they were all her dehydr her hydration and her turning were all there, and suddenly they're gone. And we keep asking them, where are the charts? Oh, I don't know. It's like they don't know where the charts are. It's like st so these are things that you wouldn't even have to worry about, you know. If with with something like this. But I I I I going back to like they have to wear something, the caregiver has to wear something. What if they just say, yeah, no, I'm not doing that? What how do you get around that?

Lindsay Friedman 22:14

So the organizations that we've worked for, it's become you're going to wear it. Like if you're working here, you're gonna wear it. Why do you not want to wear it? We don't track outside of a patient's room, we don't track outside, we don't track what you're doing in a break room. So if you're in the room and you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing, what why are you opposed to doing it? It's a less invasive than having a camera there, right? We also tell you if the tag's been taken off. So why have you taken it off? Like we give a lot of room in our software for explanations, like reasonable explanations, and then let managers decide if those how that appears. Because there is times mom refuses to shower, mom refuses to go to the bathroom, right? Those things happen. And we do leave room for that because it is part of the job and part of a normal situation. But when we went back in after explaining to the caregivers what we were monitoring, we were very upfront. And the nursing home we were working with was great and actually offered a shift bonus, which he was like, I'm offering a shift bonus for them to do their jobs. But let's see what happens. So we put it back on them, they knew what they were monitoring. Guess what? 97% compliance. And the times that didn't happen, they had a really good answer to why it didn't happen, right? It was usually super understaffed night shifts that they couldn't get to it. But compliance was there, and the three patients in particular that we were really focusing on never had a return to hospital. These things matter more than I think the caregivers even realize, and they don't realize how much a part of care success and how that family member is gonna our loved one is going to live that they really are quality. A quality living.

When No Oversight Causes Harm

Don Priess 24:11

And would this be oh go ahead. Oh no, I just wanted to say one more just on this. Would this be something that if God forbid that you there had to be a court case or something or a legal, would this be submissible as far as evidence, so to speak?

Lindsay Friedman 24:26

It's evidence that if they weren't there, if they didn't do what they were supposed to do. Um so yeah, it would it would lend itself to he said she says with caregivers who are not doing things. That was actually why this product was created. My grandma had aids at night at home, and all we really were asking of them is just sleep in the room with her. If she gets up during the night, please just help her to the bathroom. We put a really comfortable chair in there. That was all they had to do because we were handling a lot of the daytime stuff. And my grandma, we would come in in the morning, my grandma would be like, She wasn't in my room again. So what do you do, right? You go and you say, Hey, were you in the room? She said you weren't, and the answers are she's confused, she doesn't understand, right? And I I was like, Okay, maybe, maybe nighttime, she's on medication. And this went on, and then one night she yelled, she got up, she has yelled for her aid, who was sleeping in the bedroom down the hallway, and she broke her femur. And that was really where this came out of was I need to be able to see where everybody is because if I would have been able to see that that person wasn't there during the night, I could have made a phone call and been like, hey, get in her room and don't take your tag off, right? Like stay there, let me see you're there. Because my grandma's life was cut was cut short because of that.

Facility Pushback And CMS Possibilities

Susie SInger Carter 25:59

Of course. Of course. Does the do the facilities that are do to um engage with this, do they they pay for it or does or how does that work?

Lindsay Friedman 26:10

How does they're passing it along? You know, there's community fees and there's there's a fee here and a fee there. They they those those communities are good at fees, right? Um I think a lot of them are getting hidden in the fees. Some some facilities are actually saying, if you want this, you pay for this, and then we'll take it from there. And a lot of people.

Don Priess 26:36

But how does that work as an yeah? Oh, I'm sorry, I was just gonna say, how does that work as an individual? I'm like, okay, my mom's going into a facility and I want her to have this service, but now everyone, the entire staff in theory, would have to be wearing these, has to be arranged with. So if I'm the only I'm the only person who's who's requested this, the facility says, yes, we're gonna do it. So do I pay for all that, or are you monitoring every patient there all of a sudden? How does that work?

Lindsay Friedman 27:03

So it is patient by patient. The facilities that have not decided to take it on facility-wise and cover those costs, they are they're the ones who are saying, we're not gonna let you monitor our caregivers, at least for now. We've had pushback on the caregiver piece. We've been very open, people have been very open to the monitor your loved ones under the assumption of if we let you take a look at how mom's doing, you're not gonna call us. That's been the or an extra selling point. Like, why pick facility A over facility B? Well, here I know at least there's some kind of oversight that I have that's not just a phone call to management who's gonna tell me whatever I want to hear, right?

Susie SInger Carter 27:50

Have you gone to CMS? Have you gone to CMS and talked to CMS about, you know, because it would, you know, the centers for Medicare and Medicaid, you know, would seem like it would be it would lighten their load of oversight to to make it mandatory to have this.

Lindsay Friedman 28:07

No, I haven't yet. Um becoming a paid entity is a big long process. So as of right now, we just haven't gone down that path. But it's definitely something that we could look for in the future. Because it's just something that we need to advocate for.

Susie SInger Carter 28:25

It just seems like a no-brainer. It seems like a no-brainer because that way there's no discrepancy on charting. There's no, you know what I mean? Like, unless somebody learns how to hack your your technology right now. That's the best, to me, it seems like the best, the best way to do it. The best, you know, uh it's the it's it doesn't, I mean it just seems like the best kind of uh technically.

Don Priess 28:50

But it's also a a wonderful marketing tool for a facility, I would think. They say all of our all of our, you know, is uh every everyone is monitored. You're you're safe here. You're you're you're loving the money. Because our staff is monitored, it seems like it'd be an amazing marketing tool for a facility.

Susie SInger Carter 29:07

Well, it would be, except that facility is now under the microscope.

Don Priess 29:12

Well, if they're a good facility, they would want that.

Lindsay Friedman 29:15

We and we've tried to talk to them. We oh sorry, do you want to so we built it in a way that when they go to acknowledge the task, right? We actually say to them, hey, guess what? This wasn't met because of these reasons, right? So we give them the opportunity to self-correct before it actually is something that is marked that they didn't do it. We really give the opportunities here to more incentivize them to do it. So when they go to chart and they're like and it's like, nope, you didn't do it, go back and try again. We give them the opportunity to say why, right? Why we it didn't register like no, she refused, or we got her in the bathroom and it didn't, we weren't able to fulfill the task. But on the other hand, it's usually because you didn't do it or you rushed, and it allows you to um fix what you're doing. It really just pushes them to do the right thing.

Don Priess 30:16

But now you also put it on the patient, too, right? Is it both or one or the other, or is it always both?

Lindsay Friedman 30:22

So it is both. So it it looks just like a Fitbit. I didn't bring one to show you. So it looks just like a Fitbit for the resident or for your loved ones. It does all the vitals and we do all that kind of stuff. It has a help request button. Um, it does a lot of really neat things. And then the caregiver wears a tag as well. So we're able to tell you if you took them off, if we we actually alert to it, like this has been removed. Um, so there's a lot of nice features that give way to even patients with dementia who might take things off. But we found that it's so lightweight that as soon as it's on, most people don't even remember they have it on. And it's got a 10-day battery life.

Susie SInger Carter 31:07

Oh wow. Is it waterproof? Can they get bathed in it? Okay, great. So so it also feels like that this technology um really facilitates you know um data for a resource, I mean for research, right? So so it it kind of um it it eliminates surveyors going in and looking at charts that have been judged to like do, right? So it feels like it this would help CMS do their job better and more more efficiently without you know having to pay for surveyors to go out who are often, you know, not doing their job.

Lindsay Friedman 31:48

Let's say and we're and we're adding an AI piece that makes it even more lovely because it literally just tells you what happened all day. It gives you synopsis, so we give you a lot of raw data between location, uh how close you are to the person, all the tasks, but we also give you a really nice, lovely synopsis that says, here's what happened today, here's what was different today, here and and you can you can actually look caregiver to caregiver as well. So if Mary has a tendency to never be able to give a shower, and Jane can always give a shower, we can even kind of understand why that's happening. And maybe Mary and mom don't get along, right? Though that happens, and that is a reasonable thing to happen, right? Sometimes you just don't like the person who's helping you and you're gonna be obstinate. But we we we kind of inform that, and so changes can be made, and you can send a caregiver who's gonna do a better job and be more efficient.

Susie SInger Carter 32:46

I love it. I think we should include that in our advocacy, like because when you know people say, well, how can we change this under this model, this cur the current model? Like that just makes so much sense to me that that's one like easy, that's an easy lip. That's low-hanging fruit right there.

Don Priess 33:02

Yeah, yeah. And if even if these were in 10% of the facilities, that would be a lot of people.

Susie SInger Carter 33:08

No, it needs to be 100%. Like, no, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I know, but I'm saying we advocate for CMS to just like approve it as a mandatory, you know, uh uh data collector. It just has to be. It like doesn't make it, it doesn't, it it it's counterintuitive if you don't have something that's available.

Don Priess 33:25

I'm sure the nursing lobby would say no.

Why Memory Care Often Fails

Susie SInger Carter 33:29

I know I understand that. That's why that's why we're roaring. I'm gonna roar with you. So if you need me to roar, I I'm with you. Oh yes. We need to. We need some roar. We need some roar. Yes, no, we're gonna roar. We have to roar because we get asked this like, well, what's your solution? You're like, you know, it's like, you know, yeah, there's a lot of things.

Don Priess 33:51

There's not one solution. There's not one solution. This could be a big part of one solution.

Susie SInger Carter 33:55

I mean, money, you know, when you've got you've got greedy corporations and who have no idea what it it, you know, they don't really know what long-term care is. They they don't care. They're doing la la la. And and you know, I mean, I I remember going to a Christmas party from like it was a reunion with this big media company that I used to work for, and like the president, the CEO was there, and he was, you know, he was acknowledging our documentary and congratulations because they're there, you know, it's in it's in the entertainment industry, and we're talking about it, and he's g he's like spewing his, you know, uneducated opinion about long-term care. Listen, he's telling one of my ex- uh colleagues, like, don't worry about when your mom gets there, there's these places, they're great. I put my mom in one, they know how to teal deal with them. This is not, you know, it's really not an issue. It's not an issue. And I'm like, well, what are you talking about? Like, you know, but that's people that live in moneyland, like that's where their heads are at, and that's a whole different kind of of humanity that doesn't make sense.

Don Priess 35:02

Even in moneyland, as you know, even in moneyland, you can't rely on the fact that they're actually taking it.

Susie SInger Carter 35:08

I'm saying like they they live in a delusion because they want to. Because it's e it's better for them not to have to worry about it or think about it because you know the pro clearly the problem exists. Oh, you know, and maybe he's maybe he's an investor, maybe he owns, who knows, you know, because he was like talking like, you know, it was it was everything wrong. Everything he was saying was actually the opposite of what the truth is. So anyway, but but you know, it it it yeah, we need to like give provide answers for the you know, CMS so that they could there's no way that they can say, well, we can't afford that. Yeah, you can't afford not to do it.

Lindsay Friedman 35:50

Yeah, and it's gonna come to that, I think. I mean, the amount of tragedies that happen in these facilities is costing everybody money. I mean, besides all of the human elements of that it's just unkind and it's not how humans should be treated and families in distress, it's costing money to have poor care. And you would think that, well, that's not how I know we're all looking at it, but at least it you would think that would incentivize them to kind of take a look and want to make the change.

Susie SInger Carter 36:24

We we say that too in the documentary, like Rick Montcastle says, you know, if you're not motivated by your humanity, be motivated by your wallet because this money that you are is getting taken out of your paycheck week by week is being spent to buy, you know, other people's vacation homes and you know private jets and um and not where it's supposed to go. And if when you need it, if when, you won't have it because that money won't be there for you. That money's going elsewhere. It's being at, you know, it's it you're gonna get the minimum and you'll be happy with it. That's it, you know. Air quotes. But you know, that's it.

Lindsay Friedman 37:08

This is what you get, this is your only choice. So where do you see it?

Susie SInger Carter 37:10

This is your only choice. You're between a rock and a hard place. I mean, you know, we all know those those conversations where it's like I'm so sorry you're not happy here. You can take your mom home.

Don Priess 37:19

You're just stressed.

Lindsay Friedman 37:20

You're just yeah, you don't understand. Yeah, and and it truly is the lack of care. Unfortunately, I will tell you, I've seen um home care is faster to adopt this and watch their home, their AIDS. But which is great. I do think if you're paying for that level of care, right, that should be part of it. But it is, it's too expensive. Like, and in a lot of cases, it's just not safe to be at home. Like, we have to look at the safety aspect, and it should be, it should be a nice place where when we talk to our parents about assisted living or nursing homes, it's such dread, right? It's like just whatever you do, don't put me there. I'd rather die than go there. Always. It shouldn't be that. If you talk about assisted living, especially those really high-end ones, it should be like, hey, mom, you want to go to the country club and like live in an apartment building with some really cool old ladies and have lunch with them? Like, that's what we should be looking for. That should be the end goal, right? For everyone, for our parents to look forward to.

Don Priess 38:26

But boy, when the acuity goes up, I mean, it changes really quickly because that's the way my mom started that way. You know, it was a beautiful place, it's still a beautiful place. She doesn't live there anymore. And it was lovely and she didn't need much care. But the second that care level starts having to go up, and even though they raise your monthly because you're now on another care level, it just starts disintegrating, it starts falling apart. And when she ends up in memory care, forget about it. It's just completely falls apart. And I'm sure this is this is something in memory care that would be inval absolutely invaluable.

Susie SInger Carter 39:00

Yeah, that's I want to ask. Yeah, oh, go on. Go on.

Lindsay Friedman 39:03

I think that's kind of where my where I spent most of my time as a nursing assistant, and a lot of this was built out of what I saw missing there. Those, you know, they can't advocate for themselves, they can't verify. AIDS are very quick to say they're just not they're confused, right? So it is really where my thought was of here's a fit, because we do need to advocate for these people under the street.

Don Priess 39:28

We didn't know, yeah, we didn't know when my mom was telling us something. We had no idea if what she was telling us was real or not. We had no clue.

Medicaid Planning And LTCNav Tools

Susie SInger Carter 39:37

Right. And so at least your mom could talk, because then m many people with you know advanced Alzheimer's and dementia can't communicate. So, you know, you've got that, and you know, as I said in my documentary, uh, you know, they had the the chaplain from the hospice telling me that my mom had holes in her brain and don't worry about it, you know, she has no idea what's going on. It's like, oh my gosh. People are so uneducated about dementia and Alzheimer's, you know, from every every area of the industry, including doctors, including many, many of our our frontline providers, don't really understand how you know what what really goes on with someone who has dementia and Alzheimer's. So yeah, so memory care, we always say is just a marketing, it's just marketing because there's not real memory care going on. Um I want to switch over to your other uh your other um service that you do, which is to prepare people for, you know, the this time of your life and and and really get all those when you're you know before you're ready to move your loved one into uh uh facility care. So financially and all those things because it's so confusing, and that's that is such an important thing to to that information is vital, and I didn't know anything about it. And even now, like Don and his family, his siblings, you know, going through that as it always happens when someone needs more care, it happens quickly. It doesn't, it doesn't gradually creep up. It's like it happens. There's they're this way and now they're this way, and they need it. And you know, and everyone's going, yeah, well, your Medicaid is she's not gonna apply, she's not gonna qualify for Medicaid. Wait, wait, she had Medicaid, but what about that? Do we have to spend all her money? Nobody understands it. Even the lawyer, the trust lawyer was didn't understand that.

Don Priess 41:31

And and it's and it's different state to state, too. You know, every state has a different rule. So you can't just say, oh, this is the way it is. And it changes, it just changed January 1st. All the rules changed as we were trying to get my mother Medicaid. And so we knew that in case we had to put her in a Medicaid facility, we could. You know, right now she thank God she still has some funds, but those don't last forever. And so suddenly we were like the the the whole landscape changed as of January 1st in California. It's different in everyone. So, yeah, your services uh tell us a little about those.

Susie SInger Carter 42:05

Yeah, tell us about that because this is super super super important.

Lindsay Friedman 42:08

Yeah, I think my main goal with this site right now is really to educate everybody about we all need to plan for long-term care, right? So we have to plan for our parents, but we need to start thinking about ourselves because the system, uh if we stay on the path we are, is going to just continue to break down and get even more expensive. And we're all in for a real shock of what that's gonna look like. And there is not enough education about who pays for it, and the answer to who pays for it is we do out of our pockets. Right. Your savings is what is paying for your care. So don't stick your head in the sand because you there's a 70% chance, and that chance is increasing as comorbidities and health change, that you're going to need care. So we help you really understand what your financial situation is today and where you're headed, and understanding with that, with what your comorbidities are, what your family history, what are you really looking at for care? What is your actual chances of needing care, and what does that trajectory look like given your personal health history? And so we really come out clearly and say, like, given what you have, you're most likely looking at $600,000 of care. Given your financial situation, here's where your deficit's gonna be. So if you're early enough, which is why my main goal will be to teach everybody that planning early is key, right? There are financial tools that are reasonable to help you plan for this moment in your life. But there are some really nice ways to play plan for Medicaid ahead of time, right? And there's funeral trusts and Medicaid. Different kinds of things that you can do that can be really thought out, which also can end you up in Medicaid sooner, meaning you get to keep more of your assets in different ways and and be more comfortable because what your daily allowance is for Medicaid, right, is is very low. It's very it doesn't lend itself to even buying a grandchild a birthday gift anymore. So our hope is that we can really help you find this beautiful safe landing. We are partnering with some really great experts in Medicaid who have national coverage who are going to be available to also help. We are on the site, there's a ability to actually take these tools and kind of plug them in to your financial situation and see what they do without having to talk to anyone. Like, what looks best for me? Or is Medicaid the best option? And these are things that really hopefully people will start thinking about sooner because given longevity, we're gonna spend a lot a lot more time being old and a lot more time needing care. So we should all plan so it can be a better experience for for either our parents or ourselves and our children. It will be easier for our children if we plan now so they don't have to be going through what our children are.

Susie SInger Carter 45:18

They don't have to inherit this problem. Yeah, they're gonna inherit the problem. They just will, like we've inherited it, right? What is that what does that service look like in terms of the customer? How does that do they is that like a private paid service?

Lindsay Friedman 45:32

Nope, it's free for users, for free for families. That was really important to me was that there's a lot of hands and pockets in care and in long-term care. I feel like everyone's watching Amen. Amen. Everyone has their handout, and I wanted to give them something that gave them the ability to plan or at least get an idea of what they need without a hand in their pocket. Because there will be somebody's hand following mine, right? So if it turns out you need more Medicaid planning, I can't do that for you, but I'm gonna tell you on the site, you're I'm gonna match you with someone who I think is qualified that I know is not gonna just throw you into Medicaid financially and then realize that you don't actually qualify given your ADLs. I'm gonna give you people that I trust that are gonna help you, and they may cost something, so I don't want to.

Susie SInger Carter 46:34

And can you say what ADL is, so in case somebody doesn't know?

Lindsay Friedman 46:38

Activities of daily living. So toileting, showering, dressing, um, those are things that Medicaid actually looks at to qualify you, and each state is different. I obviously don't know every rule in every state, but if you don't meet those marks in that state and you plan for Medicaid financially, and you don't meet the mark, then you're still not getting it. And now you spend all this money to get somewhere that doesn't work for you today. Um, I really kind of am hoping that we're giving you, I know we're giving the best recommendations.

Susie SInger Carter 47:12

And so important. Yeah, no, you should be proud of it because I don't everybody needs it. One of the things that we're trying to do is to take the stigma off of away as much as possible of aging and you know, this this uh the fear that is, you know, so common, obviously, about getting older. And so that has that keeps people from doing what they should do. I'm guilty of it. You know, I was guilty of it, and I still am a bit guilty of it, and I'm trying to practice what I preach, which is you know, we need to really take care of business. You have to.

Lindsay Friedman 47:52

And if we don't want to do it for ourselves because we are, I'm not gonna be old, it's not gonna be me, I'm gonna be the one who is running at a hundred, right? Or or put a pillow over here to my head, right? Yeah, right. Like those are things we listen, right? Um and I hope I'm doing that, but yeah, in the more probable case that I'm not, I think we just have to really look at our children and say, what do we want from them? Their lives are not getting easier in this world. And do we want to be something else that they have to struggle with?

Susie SInger Carter 48:27

Exactly. And, you know, like I remember my manager when he first was watched the documentary, and he was like horrified. He goes, because he's he's a bachelor and doesn't have any children, you know, he's in his 60s, he's like, I'm freaking out. He goes, What am I gonna do? And he's like freaky, he goes, I called my sister in Chicago. I I'm like, I'm devastated. Like, this is my future. And I said, It is. I mean, you have to do it.

Don Priess 48:54

And a lot of people think it's too late. Oh, it's too late. I'm already at this age. I can't start planning. I mean, you know, they but it's no, or like I know I don't have enough money and I don't even want to think about it, so what do I do? You know, or or I'm just gonna ignore it and hope it goes away.

Susie SInger Carter 49:10

You know, well it's not gonna go away. No, it's not gonna go away. You know, it's not gonna go away because my mom and I tried that because she she told me we're not getting old or we're not gonna get there. And she told me she said, no, that's for other people. That's not for us. And yeah, that's but it doesn't, you know.

Don Priess 49:29

It doesn't work that way.

Susie SInger Carter 49:30

It happens and it happens fast too. And it and um so it you we really need to do it. What a great service that you're providing, Lindsay. Uh both of them. Both of them are really smart and really, really well thought out and really necessary. And I'm I'm here to I'm here to roar for that because I think what you're doing is really great. I really do. And I love it.

Caregiving Empathy From Lived Experience

Don Priess 49:53

It's not only for older, yeah. It's not only for older too, is it's for somebody who, you know, the younger people can have this issue too. So yeah.

Susie SInger Carter 50:00

Well, Lindsay and I were both talking about when we both we won't get into all the details, but we both had similar situations in a different way, different it was a different cause, but we both were incapacitated for quite a while when when with our young babies at the same time. Pretty, you know, kind of similar manifestation, but we but yet from a different source, right? But we both had to engage with caregivers to even put our socks on. We couldn't hold our babies. It was just devastating, and we were both very young. I imagine you're, you know, I was in my 20s, and I was like, you know, devastated. And um it it it is so we know it from that point of view too, you know, and that you bring that you bring that experience with you. Um as a younger person, you know, thank God you've recovered. But there what if you didn't?

Lindsay Friedman 50:52

I thought about that all the time. So because I I had caregivers, it was almost two years. I it was it felt like a lifetime. It feels like a lifetime, right? I do. And I got really lucky because I found a doctor who was able to really help, but I spent so much time thinking, what am I gonna do? How am I gonna help her? My daughter, I'm like, how am I how am I gonna be a mom to her? How am I gonna have another relationship because I ended up going through divorce? Because being a caregiver for someone who was in his 30s was not something he anticipated. And me, I was probably difficult too. So I can only imagine because I was depressing.

Susie SInger Carter 51:37

Nobody wants to feel sick and be and be incapacitated. It's not fun, it's not like that.

Don Priess 51:42

Think of the length of time that would be if you start younger. Think how long that you know, if you're in this long-term care for the rest of your life, my God.

Susie SInger Carter 51:52

It's like we got to do better.

Lindsay Friedman 51:55

We have to do better. Absolutely, because there are people who I know even had the injury and illness I did who are struggling. I was in a Facebook group and so have kind of kept in touch with them, and these people are still struggling, and this is 15 years later. Yeah, and I'm so thankful that I was able to find my way back to health. Thank God, yeah. Right? But it would have been, I mean, I think about not only the like physical strain of what that would have looked like and changed my life, but the financial piece of that. I don't know, I would not have been able to cover full-time caregivers for myself for now the rest of my life because also what happens, you're no longer working, and you're like there was like a whole pause of everything else.

Susie SInger Carter 52:48

It's a rip, it's a whole ripple effect. Yeah. And I remember being I remember in the hospital because I was in the hospital for like you, like I was in the hospital for 10 days, you know, because I had surgery. And I I remember thinking, this is not the life I want. Like, I if that if I don't get better, like I don't want to live anymore. Because I've just felt like it was just the most horrible situation. And and I couldn't imagine like being in that pain and having and not being and being incapacitated for so long, you know. And I look back on it and like I remember having to lay in a certain position, it was the only position that kind of relieved some of the pain. And like we both lost a lot of weight because we couldn't eat, right? I was like, you know, so I was like skinny, bones, you know, skin and bones. And I remember like getting like red sores on the side of my hip because I was getting bed sores, but didn't know what they were.

unknown 53:43

Yeah.

Lindsay Friedman 53:43

Didn't even my left hips. I had them on my left hip because I had the right was really bad, so I would always sit off to the side. You know, the boppies or whatever that they gave you for the baby hold. That was that was the only thing that could get me to sit. And so I would like sit on it and cock it up. And uh, but yeah, I was getting away.

Susie SInger Carter 54:03

With the same same challenges, it's awful. And you know, and then there you just add on the depression on top of it, right? And and so, and I think having that perspective gives you so much empathy, it gives you so much empathy that and gratefulness for being because I I go to the gym, I I dance hip-hop, and everyone knows that knows me. I post my hip-hop all the time. And like I, to this day, and it's been so long since I was at that stage, I so grateful to have my body that I can do this stuff, that I can lift, you know, lift weights, and I can jump and I can do all this stuff, because I thought there was I didn't know if I ever would.

Compassion As The Real Skill

Lindsay Friedman 54:41

Yeah, and and I think when as caregivers, my biggest suggestion is understand that this is the perspective that your loved one is coming from. Because in most cases, when they're 85 and they're having the same sort of depression and grief and all of these really overwhelming emotions, whereas, like Susie, you and I were like, okay, if I get better, I have a life ahead of me. The truth of the matter is, is that most of these older folks, this is the rest of their life. Yeah, there's no coming back from it, and they're very aware of that. And I think being really respectful of the fact that these folks don't want your help, right? They they need it, but they're also fighting with that kind of emotion and dignity and all of these things. So as professionals in the industry, we really need to take that into account of all of the feelings that they're having. So sometimes if behaviors are not feeling as if you're not feeling as respected, just remember how they're feeling. Yeah, yeah, uh, absolutely.

Don Priess 55:56

And the finality is just it's there. And it's you can't, you know, you can't talk them out of that. You can try to make them feel better in the moment. But my God, if you've if you put that on yourself and think of like right now, if I knew that right now, what would how would I feel? How would I what would my mood be? You know, how would I be treating other people around me? You know, uh, we like to think we've got to be. I did think about that a lot. But yeah.

Susie SInger Carter 56:19

I thought about that with my mom all the time. I try to, that's why, you know, that was my only tool I had was my empathy. That was all I had, because I didn't know anything about the industry, but all I could do is go in and sing, you know.

Lindsay Friedman 56:32

And that I think matters more when it comes to like a home health aid or that, like the biggest skill they need isn't a skill, it's just it's empathy and compassion. That matters more than how well you can actually shower somebody because you can all learn all of those things, but coming into it with uh the perspective of really wanting to care for somebody goes so long, goes so far. You can change the rest of somebody's life, uh truly.

Don Priess 57:02

Yes.

Susie SInger Carter 57:03

And yours. Because when you when you change someone else's life, even if it's for the day, you I cannot tell you like the you well, I can tell you, Lindsay, but the rewards are you know they're priceless. So you have that, and those those are those are the jewels you get, are the grateful, you know, the gratitude is is incredible. And it you can't feel better. There's nothing else that make you feel as good as like making is reliev uh uh alleviating somebody's stress or pain.

Don Priess 57:39

Even for a moment, even like if I if if we if we can get my mom to to smile or chuckle or something, just for that moment, it's the best because she doesn't the rest of the time, you know, it's it is it is it's it's the reward it is such a reward, and just just just know for that just second she feels a little better, you know. I want to say something.

Susie SInger Carter 57:59

I just I've been walk I just watched Jay Leno's interview with with Maria Shriver. Did you see it? I did. It's I love I love I have such mad respect for him now because he gets it, and his joy of of leaning into his wife's journey and the fact that you know he he he's so all in and and his only thing is to be with her and make her happy and see what you know what food makes her happy, what can he make her laugh? Can he make all those things because he's in it. He's in it, and he gets it, and what a mensch, and what a good person he is, and what a what a smart person he is, what a you know, just I just love it. I'm glad that he's speaking out because my my manager knew him and I wanted to, he was trying to reach out because he's very private, by the way. And he did that's why it's taken him this long to talk about it, because he didn't I wanted him to talk about it in in our documentary, but he he was very private. I'm so happy that he's talking out because it's going to really put put it into a a great framework for other people to because he is that is his joy right now is this relationship. And you know, he said for better, for worse. That's it. That's all you need to know. And that's you know, you don't need a a a license for that, you just need a heart.

Roar Together And Closing

Lindsay Friedman 59:25

Yeah, it is, it's a really beautiful story. And I think if we could all approach kind of caregiving from the same point, but again, broken system makes it so most caregivers are stressed and overwhelmed. But if we can take a step back and take a breather, hopefully everyone can find that because you really are doing such a good thing at take caring for somebody when they need it most.

Susie SInger Carter 59:50

Yeah, it's it is I'm you know, if you're religious, it's God's work. If you're not, it's you know, it's your heart work, and you need to, and that's you you're gonna be you're gonna get so much out of it. So even if, you know. Anyway, it's all about love, right, Don?

Don Priess 1:00:05

It is. It's all about love. It's a big love fest. You know why? And that's because love is powerful. Love is contagious, and love conquers all. We thank everybody for it all, you guys. It does. Thank everyone for the case.

Susie SInger Carter 1:00:19

Look at her. She's you're incredible, Lindsay. Thank you for joining us.

Don Priess 1:00:24

Everything.

Susie SInger Carter 1:00:24

So Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love what you're doing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys for listening and and keep keep sharing, please. We're gonna we're back, we're gonna be back now with a force. We're gonna blow your minds with all of our great guests and great information and and a little bit of push. So we're gonna be pushing you to so you have a better life in the war as you grow old.

Don Priess 1:00:47

At the same time. Yes, we're gonna be able to do that. And what done? We're gonna roar.

Susie SInger Carter 1:00:50

Oh, and roar, yeah, roar. Everybody roar. Become roarers and roar because we all need to while we can roar, right?

Don Priess 1:00:56

Absolutely.

Susie SInger Carter 1:00:57

All right, take care. Bye, everybody.

Don Priess 1:00:59

Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.