Grief and Creativity: How Art and Faith Help to Renew Your Soul | Ruth Douthitt, Author

Many creatives let the tough moments of life - a tragic loss, unexpected struggles, a season of isolation - steal their creative dream. But it doesn't have to be that way. 

If you're waiting for the pain to pass before you pick your creative gift back up, you might be delaying your own healing. 

In this episode, author and artist Ruth Douthitt joins host Allen C. Paul to talk about the twenty-two years between writing down the idea for her first book and actually publishing it, and the incredibly difficult season of grief, loneliness and loss that filled a lot of that gap. You'll learn from her how to tell the difference between art as a healthy outlet and art as something you're hiding in instead of bringing your burdens to God.

If you're carrying a loss you haven't figured out what to do with, or a calling you've convinced yourself is running out of time, this is an episode you need to hear. Press play and let's begin unpacking the burden you've been carrying.

Learn more about our guest 

artbyruth.com - Website

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Transcript

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (00:00)
Are you an artist that's dealing with grief? Perhaps you're still recovering from a painful loss in your family or your friend circle. Or maybe it wasn't even a person. Maybe it's a season, a marriage that looked different than you expected. A year you spent alone while life was happening all around you. And somewhere in that loss, your creative dream also started to feel close to being buried.

Now, we've talked on this show before about what isolation does to a creator, the dangers of loneliness, and how we creators deal with grief and loss. Now, today's conversation is going to go even deeper than that because our guest didn't just survive a season of loneliness.

She'll tell you plainly how her art almost became something to hide in, instead of something that God gave her to heal through.

Our guest today, Ruth Douthitt is a professional artist, a podcaster, and the author of over twenty seven books, even though she didn't publish her first one until she was later in life, more than two decades after she wrote her idea down.

Not only that, she's also a grief support facilitator. And what she's learned about coping in healthy ways versus coping in ways that quietly replace God is something that every creative needs to hear, whether your grief has happened recently or whether it is something that you've been living with for a long time. Today we're going to dive in how a season of waiting can become the foundation of your career. How Ruth learned the difference between art as an outlet and art as an idol, and how she walked through the kind of loss that she

That could have ended her story instead of starting it.

If you're new to the show, thank you so much for joining us. My name is Allen C. Paul. I'm the host and founder of God and Gigs. And by the end of this episode, you're going to understand that the grief and the frustration you're carrying may not be proof that your calling is gone. This might be the exact season that God will use to rebuild it.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (01:57)
I would love to welcome Ruth Dalthit to the Got and Gig Show. How are you doing, my friend?

Ruth Douthitt (02:02)
I'm great. Thank you so much for having me. It's just an honor to be here.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (02:06)
No, the honor is all mine. And I meant

what I said when I say I absolutely feel a little bit intimidation when I talk to

Ruth Douthitt (02:13)
Ha ha ha.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (02:14)
authors who have who and I've always heard this phrase that a person that writes a book is a person that wrote a book. A person that writes books is an author.

Ruth Douthitt (02:24)
Yeah.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (02:25)
And you absolutely qualify as that second one. So first of

all, many people, as you know, in the podcast world and in even in the book writing world.

meet you for the first time when they happen upon one of these episodes and things like that. So for the person that's meeting you for the first time, but let's say they don't get a chance to read the bio. Maybe they meet you in a coffee shop. Maybe they meet you in your hometown. And they're just getting to know you, Ruth, the person. So what are those first few things that you'd like people to know about you if they don't get a chance to read your entire bio or learn about all the amazing things that you do?

Ruth Douthitt (02:58)
Yeah, I'm definitely a Christian wife and mom, first and foremost. That's my mo those are my most important roles ever. And I worked really hard to be those roles, so I don't take for granted. And after that, I'm a professional artist. I've been an artist since age five. And my parents were awesome in that they nurtured that in me. And so I went to school and got a degree in that. And I didn't become an author until later.

I was in my forties and two thousand eleven was my first book came out. So that's the order of priority in my life and how I introduce myself to folks. Yeah, being an author has been a blessing and that's what opened doors to being a podcaster. So and then, you know, the privilege of getting to meet folks like yourself and published authors, best selling award winning authors from all over the world.

God has been so good in that He's allowed me the opportunity to glean from them. So yeah, that's who I am in a nutshell. I value mental health and wellness. My mom suffered from mental health issues. And then it was revealed in me that I struggled too. So I'm definitely an advocate for mental health. And I'm also a grief support facilitator of a grief group. And so helping folks learn to cope in healthy ways is also a passion of mine too.

So yeah, I don't get much sleep. I just published

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (04:26)
Yeah.

Ruth Douthitt (04:26)
my twenty seventh book and I'm working on another one right now for a September release. So I am frantically trying to get these projects done.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (04:35)
Wow. Okay. So there's so many things that you just opened up and as I mentioned before we even started recording, it would take a lifetime to tell the story. Your story reads like a movie. And I am going to try to do an opening act here where I looked into a little bit of your bio and it mentioned something that we actually do have in common, not in terms of as close as what you're dealing with, in terms of what your experience is, but I do have a Marine as a son in

law in North Carolina.

Ruth Douthitt (05:00)
Hey

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (05:02)
So I thought that might be an interesting way to bring it to you

Ruth Douthitt (05:06)
Well.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (05:06)
that you also have military in your family. I just wanted you to talk a little bit about that backstory because as I understand it, it does link into how you even discovered your is it was how you became an author, how you s became interested

Ruth Douthitt (05:19)
Yes.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (05:20)
in being an author before, like you said, you took this on for as your profession.

Ruth Douthitt (05:24)
Yes, I mean that it was huge. You know, God has you in certain places in your life for important reasons and when my husband and I first got married we were stationed at Cherry Point, Marine Corps Air Station. Beautiful base. Unfortunately he was gone a lot overseas and so my nearest family members, you know, were two thousand miles away. So I had a lot of time to go to the library. And that's where I started to think maybe I could put my love of books and writing

and combine it with my love of illustrating. And yeah, the military life was tough. I mean, I was raised by a Marine and so I guess it's no surprise that I married a Marine. But it was the long stretches of being alone and that gave me a lot of time to really stop and think. so yeah, that's what I wrote in a journal. I did a lot of journaling back then too. And I wrote in a journal that if I wrote a book, it would definitely be a fantasy genre.

And it would be about a boy who enters a mysterious forest and encounters a dragon. And that ended up like twenty two years later being The Dragon Forest, my very first book. It changed it it went from a picture book for kids to an actual novel that ended up being a trilogy. So yeah, my our time in North Carolina was very special in that it made us grow up. We were twenty one years old, you know, we didn't know what we were doing.

And the fact that he was overseas, that made him grow up. And then me being all by myself made me grow up. I learned a lot about myself, that I'm okay being by myself. I can stay busy with running and art and writing and not be lonely, you know. So that that was quite a a revelation for me, that I could be like that. And I remember when we came back to Phoenix, Arizona years later.

My aunt told me, she said, You know, I was really worried about you and when Scott went overseas, I thought for sure you'd come back home, but you didn't. You stayed there and you, you know, endured and she said, I just wanna tell you I'm really proud of you And I thought, that's so sweet

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (07:28)
Wow.

That's so powerful that you were able to use that time as you were negotiating in the military life, which again, I'm being very transparent. I'm learning a lot about just by now my daughter and my son-in-law being in it. So I'm learning about how they navigate in terms of those moments where you're away from people when your people are overseas and stationed and so on. But I also want to hone in on what you just mentioned about digging into your creative life.

And especially when it comes to maybe saying, Well, wait, should I be doing this as a profession? Or is this just a way to cope? Is this just a hobby? And I believe again that you said there was twenty, twenty something years before that idea became a book. So what was happening in your heart and your mind in terms of your your desire to be a creative, your desire to express your art? Was it becoming something that you wanted to do, in terms of your profession?

Ruth Douthitt (08:23)
Mm-hmm.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (08:24)
Or was it always like, well, God

It's just an idea, but it's not really, you know, something that you want it to become your identity and your career.

Ruth Douthitt (08:32)
it's a great question. I'm actually writing a book right now, and it's called Ask Why. Discovering Purpose and Perseverance through the Questions That Shape Us. I thought with all the different whys out there that I've

had to answer why are you a writer? Why do you podcast? Why do you run those long distances, you know? I thought it'd be nice to put them all together and and share. So the artist one is important because, you know, why do I paint? Why do I draw? And I I thought I knew that answer for years.

I thought I had to earn that right to call myself an artist. And finally, you know, after getting my degree and it was really difficult to get that degree, but I because I went back at age thirty-eight

So after I graduated, I I did wonder what am I gonna do with this? So I started hanging my artwork in galleries. I did do quite a bit of commission work as a portrait artist for children's portraits. I thought, okay, now I'm finally making money. I have my art selling. I am officially an artist. But what I didn't understand was that deeper why. But why? What are you what are you who are you becoming through your art?

Who do you want to be through your art? So I started to realize it's more about expressing myself. It's more about a way to cope with the mental health issues. And and in the book, I reflect on the senior project that I had to do at ASU, and it was called a legacy project. And I decided to do a video about like a tribute to my mother. Because my mother was raised in a very abusive home.

She wasn't really taught God, but she was taught religion. And her father, she adored him, but he was a drunk. And she said when he wasn't drinking, he was very, very nice. But when he drank, he was extremely abusive to her, her brothers and her mom. And so, I remember hearing these stories all my life and not really appreciating who my mom was until I became a mom.

And so with that legacy project at issue, I decided to do a video of various paintings and drawings that I did of women who were broken and hurt because that's how I saw her, but then also a woman who's victorious. And as I was narrating the video, I wanted folks to know that my mom did it. She broke the cycle of abuse. She never abused any of us. And I never saw her drunk. And same with my dad, you know, he

Grew up in that situation too, but both of them worked hard to stop that cycle of abuse. And so I thought, well, this is why I paint, you know, to cope. I want to teach my son that a woman is more than just a wife and a mom, that a wife and a mom doesn't necessarily mean that you disappear or that you lose yourself. I wanted him to see that no, a wife and a mom can still follow her dreams, can still accomplish what she needs to accomplish.

And that I titled it, That's Why I Paint. I end with that last line and a a sh shows a shot of my son who is nine years old at the time and he's eating a bowl of cereal watching cartoons on a Saturday morning and he waves to the camera and I said, That is why I paint. I want to leave him a legacy of what a strong woman looks like so that he can appreciate what his Nana went through and how hard she worked to stop that cycle of abuse.

So I showed it to her after I turned it in and, you know, got my final grade. And I'm not sure if she really understood it, but you know, I think that she truly appreciated it. And I I told her, I said, Mom, I you could have easily continued that cycle of abuse and everybody would have excused it, you know, because that's all you knew. But you worked really hard to make sure that none of your children were hurt and that we were all raised in a loving home. She nurtured my art.

She made sure I always had art supplies whenever I needed them, even though money was tight. You know, she always made sure that I had space to paint. And I told her I said without that, I don't think I would have succeeded as an artist, you know. So that's the why behind it all. I thought I th I thought I had the definition of artist down and I thought I knew that answer, why I paint, you know, to be an artist, to be a professional, to make money.

But after that, and after really sitting down to think about it as I wrote this book, that that chapter of the book, I started to realize I was becoming an artist and I was learning to deal and cope with things. I was learning to express myself through my art, which is something my mom never got a chance to do. She didn't have that creative outlet, you know, to write a song or to do a play or to paint a painting. She never had that. So

She never had that coping mechanism that God blessed me with in that and my son too, he's very artistic too. And so I praise God that I'm able to use that artistic ability to cope with grief or loss, or like when we were in North Carolina, my husband's absence, you know, I really did a lot of artwork during that time. So yeah, I I just wanted my mom to know how appreciated how appreciative I was toward her. And she's gone now. She's been gone ten years now. She's in heaven now.

But it it just made me stop as I wrote that chapter and wonder what really was my motivation for painting.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (14:00)
amazing answer. It's so it's a tapestry of where you had to dig in deep and where your mom had to dig in deep. And this has to now dovetail into your faith, into her faith,

I really, really love what you just said about art helping you cope with grief.

And my struggle has been, and many other creators, has been, is it the only source of coping when you're dealing with something that's really hard, when God is taking you through something, we rely on him, and it says that we're supposed to cast all our cares upon him. But artists, we do have this art thing that allows us a way to express, but can, I believe, and I'm asking you this question, can become a crutch.

If we're not careful. So I am asking you the hard question, which is, is art alone a way to deal with grief and mental health and issues? Or is it sometimes where we have to be careful to balance our ability to use our expression to kind of soothe ourselves, but being careful about not using it as I guess an idol or something like that that takes the place

Ruth Douthitt (15:07)
Yeah.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (15:07)
of God?

Ruth Douthitt (15:08)
That's a great question. when I went back to get my master's in mental health wellness, believe it or not, they would have us go to the government, the federal government website to learn about the eight kinds of wellness. And one of them was spiritual health. That is connected to all the other social health, economic health, physical health, mental health. You know, it had eight of them. The dimensions of wellness, it calls them.

But one of them is spiritual health. So even secular researchers have determined that those with a spiritual connection cope with grief and loss than those who do not have that. So no, you can't have just one. It ha they're all connected, so you have to have all of them. But for the Christian we know, as Paul talked about when he was writing to the early church, we don't grieve like the world does.

They grieve without hope. We have hope. So yeah, it's very easy to rely on that crutch. Some rely on illicit drugs, some rely on alcohol, some rely on exercise, or they rely on those adrenaline, you know, rushes. They jump out of airplanes or swim with the sharks, you know. Others

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (16:25)
True.

Ruth Douthitt (16:27)
withdraw. I've talked to many in grief support where they just withdrew and they just shut down and didn't talk to anybody for months. So

We have to be very careful with how we cope. And but one of the things I've learned since being on this grief journey now for eleven years, once I lost my sister, was the creative arts, the fine arts are such a fantastic way to cope in a healthy way. Because writing, you know, expressing what you're going through with the intent of no one ever reading it. It's just you having a conversation with you.

Or painting, drawing, music. my goodness. You know, playing a musical instrument, listening to music, tapping into, you know, the theatric arts, you know, visual arts, any type of the fine arts has been proven through research that it's so helpful to cope with your grief because you're using it as an expression. You may not be able to say to someone what it feels like to lose a child or a spouse.

But you can create some art that might show them the pain or write down, you know, what it feels like, or act out what it might feel like. So yeah, I always recommend tapping into the creative arts, but for that foundation, that solid rock, you have to lean on God as the anchor of your soul to keep you from drifting away. Jesus keeps you from drifting away from God during those difficult times. So it has to be God's word first.

treasure it you know have those verses that just are your go-to verses you know psalm 34 psalm 13 you know any of those go-to verses that you rely on have them on your bathroom mirror that you see them first thing in the morning and then you can tap into the other things exercise socializing with people the creative you know the fine arts whatever that works but yeah I s I strongly advise folks to

Find that spiritual side, connect to the Lord because He is the rock, He is eternal, and all those other things are temporary.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (18:39)
Amen to that. And I want to since you spoke with such wisdom, all that wisdom doesn't just come from book knowledge. I can see it right away. Right.

Ruth Douthitt (18:46)
Yeah.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (18:47)
That's something that you've lived and I'm being care very careful here because I don't want you to share anything that you don't need to share. It doesn't actually pertain to it. But I would like to just just for the listeners who didn't, you know, catch that, 'cause you mentioned a sister and I just want to make sure that they hear the context of

You didn't just read about this, you walked through it. You mentioned your mother and just can you give us just a little bit of a of a example of how you use these very same techniques you just mentioned to walk through some of this

Ruth Douthitt (19:10)
Yeah, sure.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (19:11)
stuff?

Ruth Douthitt (19:12)
Absolutely. my grief journey started in 2014 when my oldest sister was diagnosed with col stage four colon cancer. I thought I knew grief, but mostly just knew like grandparents and such. But the family of origin loss is significant. These are folks that you've known all your life. And so when my sister got sick, it really hit all of us very hard. She was always the healthy

one.

I was the one who was a very sickly kid, so for her to get sick, we were all like, What? And the fact that she was diagnosed at stage four, I knew what that meant, because I'd lost a lot of friends to colon cancer. So I knew with treatment she had a year, and without treatment, she probably only had four months. So I was already entering the grief journey. And I wanted to be strong for my nieces, her two older her two adult daughters. and I was right.

she did the treatment and one year later she passed away. And I think it was then that I thought, Wow, this is this is what grief does. I mean, my brain was all foggy. I was making all kinds of mistakes at work. I was a teacher and I was angry at times and wanted to lash out and I wanted to withdraw and I thought, Wow, this is this must be what grief is But I continued on. But my mom unfortunately, our mom took it really hard and she kind of stopped living.

And so five months later, our mom died of a massive heart attack. And she was alone when she died, which I never in a million years wanted. So that hit really hard. And then we found her in her home. And so that became a traumatic loss. So the loss of my sister is what they call anticipatory loss. You you know it's coming, so you prepare yourself. But for a traumatic loss where someone is there one day and then the next day they're gone, it completely changes your brain.

And I had no idea that happened, but trauma does. It changes the entire brain. So I but I didn't know how to process it. So I ended up going to Grief Share, which is a grief a faith-based grief support group. And that helped, but I ended up having to get counseling. And that's when the counselor told me. She said, Ruth, the normal brain is like a slinky, you know, da-da-da-da-da. And it it takes in all this information and processes. But when you're in grief, it's like a

impacted slinky and there's no room in there to process everything and so you're struggling and I was just fascinated by that. I thought my goodness she's right. It's so hard for me to process information to understand how what I'm feeling. So that began my grief journey and in 2019 I decided to go back to school three years after my mom died because I wanted to learn more. How is this affecting my physical body? What's the connection between the brain and the body?

And how how am I gonna get better? You know, how can I heal? So after I graduated is when I decided to start working with grief support. And you know, all through the losses, I would ask why, why God, why did you take these amazing women from my life? You know, I lost my grandmothers, a favorite aunt, my sister, and now my mom. Now I'm stuck with all these men. Yeah, I got two brothers, a husband, a son, and a dad. And I said, I need a woman, you know, I need someone to help me. Why? Why did you take all these amazing women out of my life?

And that's when I turned to my art and I just spent a whole month doing nothing but drawing and painting. My favorite subjects like wolves, you know, nature, fantasy art, Star Wars art. And I just drew any, you know, horses. I love drawing horses. And so tapping into this kind of art that I hadn't done in years felt so good. And it wasn't for a purpose. I wasn't gonna sell it or display it anywhere. It was just for me.

And it was so healing as I drew, I'd listen to music and not even think. I would just draw. So that's why I always tell folks in grief support, you know, go back to what you were passionate about. And one lady said, Well, I used to quilt before I lost my husband. I said, go back to it and quilt. For no other reason, just for you. And if you painted, go back and paint. If you played the piano, go back and play the piano. Tap into that. And don't even think. Just let it happen.

And so I decided to write a book called The Road to Home, which is a fictional book for YA readers with a Christian thread, you know, faith thread through it. And it's about a thirteen year old girl who loses her mom suddenly in a tragic accident. And Molly is an artist and she uses her art to cope. So that became one of the most autobiographical books I've ever written, even though it's you know, a novel. And it really helped me heal because she blamed herself.

She felt so bad about dissing her mom who wanted to spend time with her. And now her mom's gone. Her dad moves her. He gets married right away and moves her to a small town. And so she's freaking out with all this change, constant change, you know. And the dad didn't really understand what he was putting his daughter through. He was kind of just saying, Well, let's start a family and that'll help my daughter. And so it was it was interesting to go through and explore all the phases

that

You know, Molly goes through as she's coping with the grief. She finds an abandoned dog and he helps her. You know, so at the end, one of my beta readers, she said, You know, Molly was just so up and down. One time she's happy, then she's cranky. Then she's happy, then she's cranky. Is that really what happens in grief? And I said, Absolutely. And so and add to that, she's a teenager and all those hormones, right?

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (24:49)
Yeah.

Ruth Douthitt (24:51)
So that book really helped me heal. And so that's why I

insist on having this faith thread through all of my stories because someone out there is reading that book who it might be also struggling with grief. So even if it's a book about a serial killer, I put hope in there. I try and put Christ in there, you know, I put that light and truth in there. Or if it's a dragon book, you'll still see the principles of Christianity, you know, loyalty, faithfulness, ethics, you know, these

threads woven through even a fantasy story about dragons, you know? Because that's who I am. You know, that's who I am.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (25:29)
I love this

I love this so much and I gotta ask you right when you just talked about that, the fact that you have this endless array of creativity that that that pours out when you are open to seeing what you know, what God is gonna bring you to as you process all the actual live, real life stuff that's happening to you.

And yet you're able to tap into this imagination. And I wanted to ask you a little bit about your your process because you just talked about it, how you you you advise these people to go back to what they love, their passions, the things that made them light up inside. So you even mentioned nature a little earlier when you were talking about the things that make you light up and getting out of nature and and moving and stuff like that. So I wanted to ask you about your creative process now in terms of having so many books and things that you're working with and talking to authors and writers all the time.

what is it that allows you to kind of keep that those juices flowing and moving in terms of creating new things that can like hone these themes and bring them out, especially after you've done it a few times, because now you're

Ruth Douthitt (26:35)
Yeah.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (26:35)
a published author that is publishing other people's books and working with this all the time. So what helps you to stay motivated and to keep in being inspired even as you're working through all these different themes and things that could actually like be everyone everything could be a great idea, right? But

There's always like one specific idea that you can work on at a time. So how does that work for you?

Ruth Douthitt (26:54)
Yeah.

That's great. I was talking to an author the other day and named Seth and he had been he's a instructor in a professor of theater at the University of Alabama. And so he kinda hit that groove and he was stuck in a groove and one of his mentors said, you know, sometimes you gotta get to get out of that groove, you gotta do something that challenges you. So what can you do that challenges you? And he said, Well, I can write a book. And I said, That's how I was too

And you're right. I mean, I could keep writing fantasy books about dragons. That's what I started with. But, you know, I just didn't want to get into that groove and not be able to get out of it.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (27:31)
Okay.

Ruth Douthitt (27:31)
Because it was becoming easy. I could whip out really fast. But I always believe in challenging myself. whether it's registering for a race, like a marathon or doing a project like a painting or something, going back to school at age thirty eight, you know.

I'm big into challenging myself. So ironically, it was through a podcast interview with an author, you know, I noticed that she she started off writing YA and then suspense and then romantic comedies and now Christmas stories. I said, How is it that you are able to write all these different genres? Aren't you supposed to stick with one? I've always been told stick with one genre. And she said, Ruth, I have learned over the years to write whatever I

Said, so you do that too. Don't you don't have to just write one genre. Do what you are passionate about. Tell the story that you feel someone out there needs to read. Do it for you. Otherwise, she said, all that passion will be gone. And the readers can sense that. The readers

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (28:35)
Mm-hmm.

Ruth Douthitt (28:36)
can tell if you're just going through the emotions. If you're just checking off, you know, a romance has to have this and this and this. They'll they be able they can tell.

And so she said, I have one publisher who wants my YA, one publisher who wants my suspense, and one publisher who wants my romantic comedy, you know. She goes, But you're indie published, so you can do it. And I highly recommend that you do. That was like back in what 2020. And I'm so glad I listened to her because that's when I decided I'm gonna write the books that I want to, with a powerful message for the reader of hope. And I wrote a series said in Italy for women my age, you know.

mid fifties on up and it's called Women's Adventure Fiction and they're three books set in Italy because I wanted women reading these books to realize just because you're in your fifties doesn't mean life is over. You know, you can still go on vac vag incredible vacations and have amazing adventures. And a lot of my readers were very appreciative because they said, you know, a lot of these stories star women who are in their 30s. But you have women in their 50s, late 50s. And I said, yeah, exactly.

So I I just imagine if I had just stayed with dragons, those books never would have been written.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (29:52)
Right.

Ruth Douthitt (29:52)
But they have inspired a lot of women to take chances and go and try something new, something that's hard, do hard things. I'm big into that. So yeah, that's kind of why I try not to box myself in. So my process of staying motivated is what do I want to write? And what do I want to read? What are the books that I like to read?

Do love suspense, so I've been sticking with suspense now. But next year I will do another dragon story. because I love writing dragons and reading about them, so I will do that. So yeah, it's just about thinking of the reader, what do you want to say to him or her to keep them motivated, to keep them inspired. Yeah, you have to respect the genre. There's always

things in the fantasy genre that readers w are looking for. So you have to respect that. And a suspense as well. So respect the genre, but still think about that reader out there and what do you want to say to them? What what hope do you want to give them? what light do you want to have shining in that story? It doesn't always have to have a happy ending. My last book I just published didn't have the ending where the judge says, you know, I sentenced you to sixty years in prison. It doesn't always have that ending, but

It has a satisfying ending that I think readers will get. So yeah, tap into the passion, the kind of book that you want to read, and then write it. If it's not out there, write it. You know? Keep that reader in mind. And just always stay passionate.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (31:26)
This is such great advice and I wanna tap into what you just mentioned about the women in fifties and sixties and will include all the all the men and women, right, who are starting later in life.

Ruth Douthitt (31:34)
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (31:37)
I'm finding I'm gonna be very again just put myself on on the the hot seat here as realizing that I'm starting the second half of my life, my second half of my creative career, which was heading in a whole different direction just ten years ago and now seems like I'm gonna be doing a lot more of what I'm doing right now. And that was

Ruth Douthitt (31:53)
Yeah.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (31:54)
not in the cards, right? So I'm relearning so much. And so since you did have this experience of starting getting your first book finally after, you know, 20 years after coming up with it, and now being

A published author that's working with other writers at this particular season of life, please speak to someone who has taken some hits or waited and feels like they've waited too long because you have this wealth of experience now. So what would you tell that person who feels like it's too late? I can't start my book, my art, my music career, whatever that career is as an artist, what would help them from your experience to kind of soldier through and realize that a dream is not gone?

Ruth Douthitt (32:33)
Mm, yeah. I mean, it's definitely not easy, but there's parts of it today that are a lot easier than what I started, you know, back in two thousand eleven. So it's so easy now to write a book and publish a book than it was before, to make music, you know, to create art than it ever was before. But, you know, I I got motivation by reading about people, famous people who didn't get started until later in life as well.

you know, famous authors and actors, inventors, business people, you know, who didn't get started until they were in their late forties or fifties. There's so many of them out there. And so yeah, there as I'm you know, I'm fifty nine, so I know I probably only have about a good ten years left before it all starts to go downhill. So I'm like,

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (33:21)
no, no, no. We're not going

Ruth Douthitt (33:24)
I'm I'm furiously, feverishly writing, writing, writing 'cause I've got still so many books.

But very little time.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (33:31)
We're gonna we're gonna

quote right now. I will speak a scripture because you are speaking it right now that you know Psalm ninety twelve does say say teach us to number our days so that we can apply our hearts to wisdom. However,

Ruth Douthitt (33:41)
Yeah. Yes, exactly.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (33:44)
I also believe that you know that he who puts his trust in the law of the Lord, his leaf shall not wither. And so we're not calling out withering right now. However, I do understand

Ruth Douthitt (33:52)
Yes, exactly.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (33:54)
totally, like understanding that we do need to create

Ruth Douthitt (33:56)
Yeah.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (33:57)
like we have.

You know, like we need to seize the day that we we need to redeem the time

Ruth Douthitt (34:00)
Yes.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (34:01)
and work while we have the time and the and the energy and the inspiration while God gives us to us. So I love the point that you're making that you're not sitting on your laurels, you're not waiting to see if something

Ruth Douthitt (34:10)
Nope.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (34:11)
happens, like you're actually stepping forward and taking it.

Ruth Douthitt (34:13)
Yeah, it lights a fire under you. You realize I've only got so much time left, but I have all these projects that I want to do. So I gotta be busy. You know, I'm I'm starting to you know, mentor women and through God's Word and everything. I'm more active in church. I teach Bible study. And I always tell the ladies in my Bible study when Jesus comes back, do you want him to find you watching Netflix? Or do you want him to find you in his word? You know, talking to others about Jesus or in a Bible study like we are. I said, so

You gotta be about the Lord's work, you know, and if you have a story that you have to write, you gotta get it done. so do it and do it purposefully with intention. The Lord wants us to be intentional. So yeah, I don't write all these books to make money. If I do, God bless. It's wonderful. You know, podcasting has made me money now. God that's just amazing. Thank the Lord. But that's not my motivation. So you have to understand your why.

Why are you doing it and go for it? You can't wait for everything to be perfect. It will never be perfect. Now is it easy? No. It's not easy. I'm blessed. I'm an artist. I can do my own book covers. So that saves me about 500 bucks a a book.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (35:29)
That's good.

Ruth Douthitt (35:30)
but a lot I know a lot of authors out there aren't, so they have to hire someone. And that's something I've never had to deal with. So my heart goes out to them. But do hard things.

Even if it's just one book, you know, I just have this one story. Do it. Write it. Get it out there. Type the end. There's nothing greater than typing the end. And then follow the process through that. There's so many Facebook groups that you can get on that can help you with the process. So many writers groups you can join. Go to conferences. Those are amazingly motivational. my goodness, I love them. But the most important thing is don't give up. It's not gonna be easy.

But you can do it. It will be worthwhile. I like that saying. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worthwhile? Yes. So do it.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (36:15)
Beautiful. That's so

good. And I want to ask you one quick thing because you've just talked about all these wonderful things that you're getting to experience and that you have experienced throughout your career as becoming a writer, being an artist. What has surprised you the most throughout this journey?

Ruth Douthitt (36:34)
wow. I think all the people that I've met, I I wasn't expecting that, you know. the amazing people that were brought into my life. When I when my husband was overseas, I worked in an art gallery frame shop in Newburn, North Carolina, just as a job. And I just happened to do a drawing and showed it to my boss and he said, We're gonna sell your art here. And I was like, Wow, okay. And then I started a pet portrait business.

So I never in a million years thought that I would have a business, you know, while, you know, age twenty two, while my husband was overseas, you know, but the Lord brought my boss into my life and he was like a grandpa to me. He was just so motivational, inspirational. He saw my artistic ability and he just ran with it. And then coming home and having a art gallery in Scottsdale, Arizona, interested in selling my art, I thought, what? And then it sold. And I thought, I never in a million years thought that would happen.

And then all those children's portraits, they're owned by superior court judges and police officers and lawyers and moms, you know. I mean, all over the country folks own my art. Never in a million years did I think that would happen. So God brought amazing people into my life. And then with the podcasting, my goodness, Allen, that's been like the biggest thing. Meeting amazing folks like yourself through Podmatch, all these published authors.

Who so willingly reach out to me and say, Hey, can I come on your podcast? We're talking New York Times, USA Today, best selling authors want to talk to me. my goodness. And we talk about the writing process and I learned so much from them, you know. So it's been surprises like that along the way, just incredible people that God has brought into my life where I I wanted to quit. And nope, I talk to these people and I keep going. They've always been there to motivate me. So that's kind of what I want to do now.

is motivate folks, you know, inspire them to keep going. Encourage them to keep going. That's one of my spiritual gifts, is encouragement. I want to encourage people to keep going through this journey. It's not easy, but it can be done.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (38:42)
Beautiful. I love this so much. Again, because you're speaking to not just fellow authors, you're speaking to anyone who has kind of felt like, wait a minute, is this even possible? And it's like God does give you that glimpse. He doesn't show you the whole picture. He doesn't give you the entire page of the light into your feet and the light into your path. So it's only the next step, but it's so amazing to see you having walked through it. And so we do have to close this out. We could talk

all day long.

Ruth Douthitt (39:09)
I know, right?

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (39:10)
And I do want to make sure that everyone understands that everyone that comes on this podcast, I say selfishly, is already a part of the God and Giggs tribe. So I expect them to show up eventually in a webinar or seminar or something in our membership. Like I just feel like all of you already bel belong to our tribe. So I'll try to make that happen. However, for the end of this specific specific episode, I want to ask you if you could speak to the person who is where you were back in North Carolina, your husband away.

having an idea for a book about dragons, but having all that time to yourself and dealing with the loss and the grief and the issues that were all coming your way. Now that you've walked through it, someone is is where you were. Someone is not maybe not North Carolina, maybe not Arizona, but they're somewhere listening and we believe God's going to let them hear this. So what would you say to the person who is dealing with that moment now that you know what you know?

Ruth Douthitt (40:01)
it's so scary. You know, and I got the phone call that after Saddam Hussein attacked Kuwait and I got the phone call from my husband saying we're going over there and I said, For how long? He said, I don't know. It can be so scary and you feel like you're the only one going through it and you're so alone and afraid. The best thing I ever did was start talking to God. I'd already been a Christian for many years at that point, but

With the busyness of life, I kinda stopped talking to him. So I started talking to him. And that's when that still small voice told me, you know, do your artwork. Start writing. Tap into all that. I gave it to you for a reason, Ruth. I gave it to you so you can cope with so much. And I always did since I was a little girl. I was very painfully shy and had a hard time making friends. But my art always brought a smile to someone's face and helped me make a friend.

So I'm so glad that I started talking to the Lord on my jogs through the forest, you know, on my walks with my dog, just those lonely times watching TV all by myself. Remember telling the Lord, you know, I got married because I I wanted to be with my husband. I didn't get married so I could be alone. What are you doing? Why do you keep taking my husband away from me? but we had long conversations. And that's when he told me, you know, I'm enough. I can sustain you. I'll get you through this. But use your art.

Tap into it. That's why I gave it to you. It's a gift. So use it. And so I did. And that kept me sane. That kept me tapped into that creative side. And yeah, that's the reason my boss saw it and took it and I ran with it. And that made the time fly when my husband came home. I was like, wow, it's been 11 months. and I had so much joy showing him all that was accomplished, and he was so proud of me. so yeah.

Tap into what you love, tap into the gifts that the Lord has given you, but please talk to him. He's not being cruel, he's not being mean, he's not distant, he's right there with you. So do what I did and just start talking to him. Have long conversations and then listen because that's what I did and that's what got me through it.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (42:14)
I'll just leave that there as a amen. So be it. I am so blessed by this conversation. Someone else has been so blessed by this. Ruth, I will make sure all the links are in the show notes to everything you're sharing. I believe I saw artbyruth.com was

Ruth Douthitt (42:28)
Yes.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (42:28)
one of them. And then all the things you're doing with your publishing and the Writers Day podcast, they can go right now on the app that they are on right now and simply type it

Ruth Douthitt (42:36)
Mm-hmm.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (42:37)
in and find you. So we're gonna make sure that they are connecting to your amazing.

Anointed sharing. This is one of the most encouraging conversations I've ever had. And I've been doing this now, no bragging, bragging on God, almost four hundred episodes. And I am so blessed that you are now part of one of those shows. God bless you. Thank

Ruth Douthitt (42:57)
Thank you.

Allen C. Paul | Founder, God and Gigs (42:57)
you so much for being a part of the God and Gig show. And I hope we do it again very soon.

Ruth Douthitt (43:00)
Thank you for having me. It's been a blessing.