A Wake-Up Call on Retirement & Purpose [Halftime Huddle w/ Scott & Tony]

What happens when someone retires with a solid financial plan but no purpose? In this bonus Halftime Huddle episode, Tony and Scott share the personal story that inspired Refocus Coaching and explore why the non-financial side of retirement matters more than most people realize.

Read the full transcript, show notes, or watch the video at thewealthmindsetshow.com/s2e15

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Chapters

• 1:23 Why Are We Calling This Halftime Huddle?
• 2:49 A Tragic Story Becomes a Wake-Up Call
• 7:56 How This Retirement Tragedy Affected Tony's Life
• 9:33 The Beginnings of Scott & Tony's Relationship
• 13:39 Releasing Retirement Stepping Stones & Introducing Refocus Coaching
• 15:10 What Is a "Life Coach"?
• 16:28 Refocus on Retirement Workshops & Private Coaching

Transcript

You're listening to The Wealth Mindset Show, where Hixon Zuercher Capital Management's team of finance professionals, portfolio managers, and a life coach come together to tackle complex topics in finance and retirement planning so you don't have to. From investment strategies and wealth management to tax planning, retirement income, and aligning your money with your values and purpose, The Wealth Mindset Show offers the tools to thrive. 

Tony Hixon:

All right. Hey, hey, hey. Welcome to The Wealth Mindset Show, where our Hixon Zuercher team will have conversations on managing wealth, navigating retirement, and making smart decisions for a secure, meaningful future. This is not Austin Wilson. I am Tony-

Scott Miller:

You're not? Okay.

Tony Hixon:

I know, I'm not that good-looking.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

I'm Tony Hixon, CEO of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management, co-founder alongside Scott with The Refocus Coaching Academy, and the author of Retirement Stepping Stones.

Scott Miller:

I'm Scott Miller, Certified Professional Retirement Coach here at Hixon Zuercher Capital Management. We actually have a bonus episode for you today called Halftime Huddle. This is actually where Tony and I, we get to address common issues that retirees have in retirement. We're going to look at a lot of different challenges and things in Halftime Huddles.

Tony Hixon:

Common non-financial issues.

[1:23] - Why Are We Calling This "Halftime Huddle"?

Scott Miller:

Common non-financial, that's correct. Now, maybe some of our listeners are wondering, "What is a Halftime Huddle? Why that name, and all of that?" It's similar to a football game.

Tony Hixon:

Okay.

Scott Miller:

There is a first half and there is a second half, and in between those halves is halftime.

Tony Hixon:

Right.

Scott Miller:

They go into the locker room and they look at what has happened in the first half. Then they start strategizing, and setting goals, and making some changes in their lives to live a better second half. Well, that's what Halftime Huddles is really all about. It's really taking a look at some of the challenges of first half, some of the things that have happened, but then really strategizing and setting some goals to win the game.

Tony Hixon:

Right.

Scott Miller:

The really come out ahead and to live a purposeful and meaningful second half of life. Right, Tony?

Tony Hixon:

The first half is typically your career.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Bottom line, it's your career.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, yeah.

Tony Hixon:

You've navigated it well.

Scott Miller:

Raising family, all that. Yes, right.

Tony Hixon:

Climbing the corporate ladder, getting all the good titles.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

Then to your point, halftime is that concept where no one cares about the score.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Remember the Ohio State-Michigan game last year?

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

Do you remember the score at halftime?

Scott Miller:

I don't, no.

Tony Hixon:

No one cares about the score at halftime.

Scott Miller:

No.

Tony Hixon:

Taking that time out, that break between your career and your second-half is super important as you navigate your second-half, so you can come out and, like you said, Scott, to really win the game.

[2:49] - A Tragic Story Becomes a Wake-Up Call

Scott Miller:

That's exactly right. Well, maybe our listeners are wondering what's the why behind Halftime Huddles. Why are we doing this? Why are we addressing some of these challenges and talking about some of these things? Tony, can you just take us back, I think to really the story that's really behind the why of why we're doing this, why we address these non-financial issues? I think it was about, what, 10 or 11 years ago that this story really starts. Why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about that?

Tony Hixon:

Sure, I'd love to. I know that there's quite a few of our listeners that do know the story.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

For those of you who are joining us maybe for the first time and wonder why, as a financial firm, a wealth management firm, why do they care about the non-financial side? Really, it's born out of a personal tragedy that occurred in my life and in my family's life around 14 years ago in 2011.

Scott Miller:

All right.

Tony Hixon:

My mom was graduated as a registered nurse in 1971. She got a job at a local hospital where she worked long hours and swing shifts, and soon enough, they started a family.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

My sister and I and those long hours just didn't make sense when it came to raising young kids.

Scott Miller:

Sure.

Tony Hixon:

She sought different employment and was able to find a job at a local home health agency.

Scott Miller:

Okay.

Tony Hixon:

Offering more steady hours and a good income, and allowed her to be home in the evenings when we were there after school. That was mid-'80s, early '80s, and it's when hospice really became a thing.

Scott Miller:

Okay.

Tony Hixon:

By now, a lot of people know what hospice is.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

Just as a quick reminder, it's when the healthcare system basically says, "There's not much else we can do."

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

So they send you back home so that you can be surrounded by your loved ones and familiar surroundings. My mom was a pioneer in this industry, the hospice industry. She soon found herself as an executive director at a local hospice agency. She fell in love with the career, just being able to care for those as they transitioned from this life-

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

... to the next. It was there she found her greatest purpose, her significance, her meaning. But it was also-

Scott Miller:

Helping others.

Tony Hixon:

Helping others.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

But it was also this career that led to the biggest burnout I've ever seen. Really, that burnout started mid-2000s when electronic medical records became a thing.

Scott Miller:

Yes, I remember that.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah. If you know anything about my mom, her and technology did not get along very well.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

She found herself behind a desk trying to enter her notes into a computer, rather than bedside caring for the patient. She started to get it in her mind that she wanted to exit the rat race and retire.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

And live a quiet life on the farm my mom and dad owned, my dad still owns to this day.

Scott Miller:

I think a lot of our retirees would probably agree with that. Or maybe as they're entering into retirement, they're looking forward to that more laid back, that peaceful life.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah, yeah.

Scott Miller:

Definitely.

Tony Hixon:

The American ideal of retirement is real.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

It seems to be really exciting.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

But what we don't often hit on is what are you going to fill your time with?

Scott Miller:

Yeah, right.

Tony Hixon:

What my mom found is within a short amount of time after retiring, she was bored and she was wandering. She knew exactly what she had retired from.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

But she had no idea what she's retiring to.

Scott Miller:

To.

Tony Hixon:

She could answer, during her career days, who she was. "I'm a hospice nurse."

Scott Miller:

A hospice nurse, yeah.

Tony Hixon:

"I'm an executive director at the hospice."

Scott Miller:

Her identity, yes.

Tony Hixon:

Her identity was in her career. When that title was stripped from her or she retired from that title, and she was asking herself, "Who am I apart from that," she was unable to answer that question. She didn't know enough to do the hard work of taking that halftime to plan and prepare for her second half.

Scott Miller:

To get ready, right.

Tony Hixon:

Before retiring. I should say that she planned well financially. She met with her primary financial advisor. It wasn't me, we separated family and business, which is good.

Scott Miller:

That's probably a good idea.

Tony Hixon:

It's a good idea, yeah.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Her primary financial advisor ran the numbers and pulled out her credentialing, her software, and her experience, and gave my mom the green light. They had enough money to retire. I was eight years into my career at the time and my mom wanted to give me the honor to allow me to give a second opinion. I pulled out my credentialing, my software, and my experience and I too came up with the same result, and I gave my mom the green light to retire. So she did.

Within about six months after that, after wandering and being bored, and not knowing exactly who she was or what was next, she fell into a deep depression.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

And anxiety grasped her mind and her heart. On the morning of March 22nd, 2011, my mom, Pam Hixon, she chose to take her life. The consequences of that decision were staggering.

[7:56] - How This Retirement Tragedy Affected Tony's Life

Scott Miller:

Yeah, sure.

Tony Hixon:

My dad and her, they were high school sweethearts.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

They had a big future planned of traveling, or whatever it might have been.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

But she wasn't able to disconnect from who she was to who she was going to become. My sister, they had a mother-daughter relationship that was very strong, she was devastated. My kids, my mom's grandkids, would miss out on the blessing that my mom would be to them as they grew up. My wife, Carrie, she was seven months pregnant with what would have been my mom's first grandson. She missed out on the blessing that Everett would be to her in his life.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

And me. I was devastated.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

I was one of the two financial advisors that gave her the green light to retire.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

The very thing that led to her death. To say that the amount of guilt and shame that I felt, it was staggering.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

It was debilitating. And yet, over time and by God's grace, I was able to turn that tragedy into triumph, and those stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Why we're here to day is, in 2021, after the celebration of her life, I released a book, Retirement Stepping Stones, that really deals with the non-financial side of retiring.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

To not just ensure that you have enough money to sleep at night, but to ensure you have enough purpose to get up in the morning.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

[9:33] - The Beginnings of Scott & Tony's Relationship

Tony Hixon:

Scott, you and I have known each other for years.

Scott Miller:

A long time.

Tony Hixon:

Maybe take us back... A long time.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Take us back. How did our connection start? And then we can lead into how you and I connected over this book.

Scott Miller:

Well, as you were telling that story, I'm thinking back to when our relationship started, probably 20-plus years ago.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah.

Scott Miller:

I walk through that period of time when all of that happened with your mom. I was at the funeral of your mom. You and I were good friends. Our relationship started really probably back in the late 1990s, early 2000s, even before you and Carrie were married. You were part of a college ministry that my wife and I were doing. That's really where it started. Then in a professional relationship too, as a client, in probably what, 2003 or 2002 or so.

Tony Hixon:

Right, right.

Scott Miller:

But really, our personal friendship continued on because we met every month just in a one-on-one relationship through all that period of time. Maybe what the listeners don't know, and you and I have talked a little bit about this, but even from that point of 2011, really I was going through a journey of my own.

Tony Hixon:

Right, yeah.

Scott Miller:

Where I was transitioning out of dentistry.

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Tony Hixon:

Yeah, tell a little about what was your career background and all that. You were a dentist for a quite a while.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. I started here in Findlay, in 1989 as a dentist over right just a block or so away from here. I was a dentist for 32 years. But really, in about 2010 or 2011, God was starting to stir in me this, "I don't think dentistry is going to be the finale for you." The average age of retirement for a dentist is 68.

Tony Hixon:

Okay.

Scott Miller:

I retired actually at 57 in 2021. But really, through all that period of time of all these things that were happening with your mom, and then just the tragedy of it all. The beginning stages then of you starting to think about writing a book and turning this tragedy into a triumph. I'm going through this major transition myself of really selling my practice in 2016, working part-time in dentistry, and trying to experiment with some other things in my life.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah. That experimentation phase was almost your halftime.

Scott Miller:

It was. Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

What happened during that stage to make you decide to join forces with us in 2021?

Scott Miller:

Yeah, that's about a five-year period of time. Really, from about 2016 to 2021, it was about a five-year period there. But right before that, in COVID year, in 2020, you and I were meeting to have lunch. Just a week or so ago before that, the dental practice that I was working in and the person that I had sold it to got sold to a corporation. I was lamenting to you, Tony, over lunch.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

Scott Miller:

"I can't do this."

Tony Hixon:

Yeah.

Scott Miller:

"I can't work for a corporation."

Tony Hixon:

Yeah, you're self-employed.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

You'd been that way for 30-plus years.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. I'd owned my own businesses.

Tony Hixon:

Now you're working for somebody, that's hard.

[13:39] - Releasing Retirement Stepping Stones & Introducing Refocus Coaching

Scott Miller:

Yes. You told me, "Hey, I'm releasing this book in a year, and I think the idea of really having somebody come in and be a life coach, be the hands and feet of the book." Not only did you want to release a book to the public here and tell the story about your mom and help others really find purpose and meaning in second half of life, but you're like, "Can we have somebody that can actually help apply this to their lives?"

Tony Hixon:

Correct, yeah. I couldn't help but think of my own life. When I read a book, I put it back on the bookshelf.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Maybe six months to a year later, you ask me what it was about, it'd be hard for me to remember.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

I just really wanted to prevent that from happening with my story and to honor my mom's legacy in a bigger way.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

We joined forces. The release date of the book in September-

Scott Miller:

September 2021.

Tony Hixon:

1. We announced that Scott was going to become a life coach with our firm. That was, at this point, what, four years ago.

Scott Miller:

Four years ago.

Tony Hixon:

Which time flies.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

You have branded now this non-financial side of our firm Refocus Coaching.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Tell us a little bit about what you do with that department at our firm.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. In January of 2022, six months or so after I started here, we started Refocus Coaching. Maybe a lot of our listeners don't know what a life coach is.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

[15:10] - What Is a "Life Coach"?

Scott Miller:

Let me just explain a little bit about what that is.

Tony Hixon:

Great.

Scott Miller:

I feel like I've been doing this for 30-some years in dentistry, I was just coaching people on good oral hygiene. Coaching them how to take care of their teeth, how to brush their teeth.

A coach is really somebody that's very future-focused. It's looking at the present and helping people look into the future. Setting goals, asking a lot of questions. It's like what a football coach does.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

Scott Miller:

You're coming alongside of people, you're helping develop that person. You want to point them towards, in a football coach's case, it's about winning the game.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

Scott Miller:

Here it's about living a better life.

Tony Hixon:

Leaving a legacy.

Scott Miller:

Leaning towards a better ... Yeah, so many different things like that. That's what I do as a life coach. I don't have a crystal ball, I'm not a mind reader.

Tony Hixon:

You're not a therapist.

Scott Miller:

I'm not a therapist. It's none of those things. It's a lot of encouragement, asking good questions. In a lot of cases, I feel so much the answers are already within them, I'm just trying to bring those to the surface and help them to think about the future. A lot of people just get stuck in life, they're not thinking about the future. That's what a life coach does, we're just coming alongside people and trying to help them find the best version of themselves I guess is a way to put it.

[16:28] - Refocus on Retirement Workshops & Private Coaching

Tony Hixon:

I so appreciate what you do for our clients, and even non-clients have gone through our program. Scott, you conduct workshops.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

It's really how we execute the vision that I had when I released the book. Instead of putting it back in the shelf, we're actually conducting workshops.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Tell us a little bit about how those workshops operate and what you learn through that content.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. We didn't really know, I think in January of 2022, where this was all going to go. It was just really exciting to be part of something new like this. Really, what I tried to do is take the concepts from your book and then just put that into practical exercises and worksheets.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah.

Scott Miller:

We wanted to, like a workshop say, it is work. People come to these workshops and they do work, they do exercises, they do practical examples. Everything is really geared around action steps. You talk a lot about this in your book. We didn't want people to just have information coming at them, we wanted them to actually create action step, practical things that they can do. Small, little things. A lot of times an action step is I need to call this person, or I need to meet with this, or look up some information about this.

Tony Hixon:

Okay.

Scott Miller:

They're simple, little steps that we can do to live a better life. In those workshops, we take them through four different pillars.

Tony Hixon:

Okay.

Scott Miller:

The four pillars answer four different questions. Who am I? Where am I going? How will I get there? Why is all this important?

Tony Hixon:

Wow.

Scott Miller:

We look at a lot of different topics within those pillars. Relationships, leaving a legacy, what am I going to do in the second half of life, the doing part of it. But the very first part of it, which I feel is probably the most important that a lot of people leave out is who am I? It's really answering the question of just thinking of my uniqueness. What are my skills, my abilities, my talents? Then that, after really going through that pillar, they can move forward with the doing part of it.

Tony Hixon:

Set a vision for their future.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, set a vision. Then at the end of that, at the end of every workshop, they have a summary plan.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah.

Scott Miller:

They have what we call a Retirement Summary Plan. It brings all four of those pillars together into a plan so that they have a set of action steps to walk out of that workshop with something to do to start living a better life.

Tony Hixon:

Cool.

Scott Miller:

That's the workshops. I also do some private coaching also.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah.

Scott Miller:

This is more of sitting in a conference room like this where we're sitting one-on-one, or maybe one-on-two with individuals. We're going through a lot of the same material that we do in the workshop, but some of it's different, it's crafted a little bit differently. It's a little bit more personal.

Tony Hixon:

Right.

Scott Miller:

We can go a little bit more in-depth with some of the topics, and things like that.

Tony Hixon:

And it's more tailored, right?

Scott Miller:

It's more tailored to that person, where they're at.

Tony Hixon:

The workshop is 10 or 12 people.

Scott Miller:

Exactly.

Tony Hixon:

When you're one-on-one or one-on-two, you can tailor it for their specific situation.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. You think about a football coach like in a halftime and they're talking certain things to an offensive lineman that's different than a running back or a quarterback, or somebody on the defense. They're looking at different strategies, and different things like that.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

Scott Miller:

People are at different places when they enter retirement or when they're about to retire. Private coaching is more geared towards that specific maybe position or wherever they're at.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

Scott Miller:

Yeah

Tony Hixon:

Well, that makes so much sense. It's a little bit like we're helping our clients, and even those who aren't clients of ours, we're helping them take a halftime.

Scott Miller:

That's right.

Tony Hixon:

We're helping them just understand that this life transition can be hard.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

It really was born out of my personal tragedy that I really feel I've been honored to steward that story going forward.

Scott Miller:

Amen.

Tony Hixon:

Thank you, Scott, for being a part of that story and for honoring my mom's legacy the way that you do. I can't help but remember some of the testimonials that we have gotten from clients as they've gone through your workshop. That one that I'm reminded of and that really encourages me of the content that we provide in the department that you run. The quote is, "It's nothing I expected-"

Scott Miller:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tony Hixon:

"... but it's everything I needed."

Scott Miller:

Needed, yeah, yeah.

Tony Hixon:

"It's nothing that I expected, but everything I needed." That's the story, that's the background of why these Halftime Huddles, why Refocus Coaching is so important to us.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

And why we're just honored to continue to honor my mom's legacy and to help our clients live a bigger future. With that, any last thoughts before we wrap this episode up?

Scott Miller:

Well, it is an honor for me to be the hands and feet of your book. I feel like I am really living out my purpose. Again, coming from a 32-year career in dentistry and really helping me just personally let go of that career, because that was difficult.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

Scott Miller:

You mentioned actually before, it was a transition.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah.

Scott Miller:

It was a major life disruptor for me to disrupt what I had been doing before that was easy.

Tony Hixon:

Sure.

Scott Miller:

Now this is going to be a little bit more difficult. But oh my goodness, I've found so much purpose and meaning in my personal life just in helping others ...

Tony Hixon:

Yeah.

Scott Miller:

... looking to peer into their second half. Again, it is an honor for me to just come alongside of you and your firm here, be part of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management, this team here is really an honor.

Tony Hixon:

That's awesome, yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for just being who you are. I always say that you were a dentist wrapped into a life coach. I don't know how I said it, but basically you're doing what God called you to do.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

We appreciate you delivering your skills and just your unique ability on our team.

Scott Miller:

Thank you.

Tony Hixon:

Appreciate you on the team. Well, audience, we're so glad that you could join us for this bonus episode of Halftime Huddle.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

Hopefully you understand a little bit more about the why this is so important to us. If you found value in our conversation, don't forget to subscribe to The Wealth Mindset Show on whatever platform you're on so you never miss an episode. Visit us at thewealthmindsetshow.com for more resources. If you're ready to invest with us, head over to hzcapital.com. We also invite you to follow us on social media to stay connected. Thanks for listening. We'll see you again next time.

Thank you for joining us at The Wealth Mindset Show, where we tackle the complexities of finance and life planning to help you align your wealth with your values. We hope today's conversation provided value and clarity as you navigate your financial journey. 

Your hosts work for Hixon Zuercher Capital Management, and all opinions expressed by them or any podcast guest are solely their own and do not reflect the opinions of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon for investment decisions. Clients of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management may maintain positions in the securities discussed in this podcast. There is no guarantee that statements, opinions, or forecasts provided herein will prove to be correct. Past performance may not be indicative of future results. Indices are not available for direct investment. Any investor attempting to mimic index performance would incur fees and expenses that could reduce returns. Securities investing involves risks, including the potential loss of principle, and there is no assurance that any investment plan or strategy will be successful.