We've got an exciting episode for you! Featuring former high-level NFL and NBA executive, Paul Epstein, we get into the art of playing offense in life. Paul, a best-selling author, teaches us that every day offers a reset button, a fresh opportunity to make our mark. He stresses on the importance of starting each day with a beginner's mindset, and the notion of becoming a ‘momentum machine’, in order to truly seize each day on our own terms.
Ever found yourself torn between your head and your heart? Paul provides some incredible insights on how to navigate this often challenging terrain. He tells us how to detect when there's an imbalance between the two, and the steps to take when both are in agreement. Importantly, he navigates us through facing those fears and self-doubts that may hold us back from action, reminding us to stay in the fight, even when it's tough.
But at the core of it all, how do we discover our true values and move with purpose? Paul opens up about his transformational journey, revealing how he unearthed his own purpose and values. He shares his equation of confidence - values times action, and why clarity and consistency are integral for decision making. If you're seeking to understand your own values, this is a conversation you can't afford to miss. Join us as we journey with Paul in building unshakable confidence, one step at a time.
Follow Playing Injured on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/playinginjured/
We've got an exciting episode for you! Featuring former high-level NFL and NBA executive, Paul Epstein, we get into the art of playing offense in life. Paul, a best-selling author, teaches us that every day offers a reset button, a fresh opportunity to make our mark. He stresses on the importance of starting each day with a beginner's mindset, and the notion of becoming a ‘momentum machine’, in order to truly seize each day on our own terms.
Ever found yourself torn between your head and your heart? Paul provides some incredible insights on how to navigate this often challenging terrain. He tells us how to detect when there's an imbalance between the two, and the steps to take when both are in agreement. Importantly, he navigates us through facing those fears and self-doubts that may hold us back from action, reminding us to stay in the fight, even when it's tough.
But at the core of it all, how do we discover our true values and move with purpose? Paul opens up about his transformational journey, revealing how he unearthed his own purpose and values. He shares his equation of confidence - values times action, and why clarity and consistency are integral for decision making. If you're seeking to understand your own values, this is a conversation you can't afford to miss. Join us as we journey with Paul in building unshakable confidence, one step at a time.
Follow Playing Injured on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/playinginjured/
Welcome back to the Play and Enjoy podcast. We have a great guest, actually, paul Epstein, who is a former high-level executive for multiple NFL and NBA teams and a best-selling author of The Power of Playing on Offense, which we're definitely getting to. But just last year in 2022, paul was named one of Success Magazine's top thought leaders that get results, alongside names like Tony Robbins, brene Brown, gary Vannacher, mel Robbins. His work has been published ESPN, nbc, man. you are doing amazing work, paul. We appreciate you coming on the show.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much, Josh, Fired up to be here brother.
Speaker 1:Fired up too. So always start the podcast episode with who is Paul Epstein and how does he spend his time today.
Speaker 2:Paul is a man with many hats, but they all have intention and purpose. I consider myself first and foremost. Look, i believe that we need to be attacking every single day in life, and I know a lot of folks may just be listening to this, but for those that may be seeing it, at some point behind me there's a sign that says win Monday. And even you asked me like, hey, so eventually it doesn't say win Tuesday, win Wednesday, because we just happen to be recording on a Monday. And I said no because I believe that a lot of the world fantasizes about Friday. And I choose to attack Monday for a couple of reasons. One is its separation season. So Paul is a man that separates, whether as a father, as a husband, as a professional, as an executive, all of those things I want to separate. But I'm not trying to compete with other people because I can't really control that. I'm competing with myself. So for me, i'm trying to attack every single day just this relentless pursuit of 1% better. Am I better tomorrow than I am today? Am I better today than I was yesterday? And I mean that holistically across all areas of life. And for me, this whole concept of separation season, i believe we're momentum machines, we're all supposed to be growing. We never stop learning.
Speaker 2:I love to think that everybody I'm talking to has a beginner's mindset, because if you do, then you realize that, yeah, the success is nice And in my bio thank you so much for the kind introduction. We've got some trophies along the way, but I'm not really trying to talk too much about that because to me success is not always the best teacher For me. If you want to talk about playing injured, then injury is adversity, injury are hurdles and obstacles. I like to say injuries are. How do you figure out to play offense when the environment around you is all about defense? So you ask me, who is Paul? Paul is a guy that just believes that if I can step in it every day playing offense, it doesn't really matter how defensive things get around me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, as crazy as man. Lately I've had this kind of paradigm shift in myself. I've been wanting to get back to almost my old athletic self, right, the mindset that I had. Right, because a lot of times we can get very comfortable and live in kind of this defensive environment. For me, since the pandemic, i've been working from home every day. It's about three years now working at home every day. What is developed is a very complacent environment. Before I know it I'm scrolling Instagram before I'm watching random things on YouTube. With complacency comes this defensive mindset. You almost get very comfortable. You're getting out of bed right before your first meeting, whatever the case may be right. So summertime has kicked off.
Speaker 1:I remember in college basketball, high school basketball, you talked about separation season. That was the separation When your coach wasn't there, when your teammates weren't around, you were the only person who had to take ownership of your growth. You had to take control of it. So lately getting up early, getting out of the house to actually do the work that I need to do and barely spending time at home, because I know what home creates and what environment that creates. So when you talk about separation season, that is a wonderful season to be in and think about in yourself, right? How can I wake up every day on the offense and not allowing my alarm clock or somebody else to dictate my day? How can I take control of the day and be more proactive with my day?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think the beauty of everything you said and, by the way, kudos for the level of awareness that you have, because when you say, okay, this is what home does to me or does not do to me, and these are the habits, the rituals that I either have or don't have The beauty is for everyone listening in right now, whether today you played offense or defense. I hope you played offense, but let's be honest, like we're all human beings, man, and sometimes we don't show up at our best. So I want to have some empathy and meet you where you are. But here's my message Every day is a reset button, every day.
Speaker 2:So guess what, if you let's call this like the sports analogy of wins and losses if offense is winning and defense is losing, what happens after you win a game? Well, now you got to win two, then you win three, then you get a winning streak, but, like, the hard part is not winning a game, it's sustaining it. So you, in a challenging way, if you won today and you played offense, reset, go ahead, repeat that Now. If you lost today because maybe you had some defensive actions, defensive decisions, defensive habits or lack thereof, all right, what are you going to do tomorrow? Reset button right.
Speaker 2:So, like, no matter who you are, this is either a sustainment game and an elevation game, or it's just I'm not happy, i'm not proud of where I was and I'm committed to change, and that doesn't happen without a shift in decision making and action taking. And so that's really like. You know, josh, when I think about the keys of life and I really try to simplify things I just think it's a big old game of decisions and actions. Like show me the quality of your decisions, i will show you the quality of your life 100%.
Speaker 1:That's it Period. You know, most people make decisions based off their emotions. Right, i don't feel like getting up, i don't feel like doing this, oh, i had a tough day, so I'm going to eat this whole pizza when I get home, but, kind of, these are all emotions that we have, right? How can folks, i guess, understand their decisions, i guess, in real time? Is this really me? Is this, you know, talking about that?
Speaker 2:Well, it's funny You're asking me this question at a perfect, perfect time, because, as we are recording this, we're within months from my second book called Better Decisions Faster. Coming out right. So Better Decisions Faster. So the key here is how do we make better decisions And then, of course, go faster once we nail the first part, which is the best possible decision?
Speaker 2:And so I call it the head-hard-hands equation. It's head plus heart equals hands. So for everyone out there, your head is your mindset. Do I think it's a good idea? That's your head check. The heart check is more what you just said the feeling. Do I feel this is a good idea. So that's your authenticity, right? So head, mindset, heart authenticity You check in with both to decide what to do with your hands. Those are your actions. It's head plus heart equals hands.
Speaker 2:So the next time you're deciding, do I take action or not, check in with your head, check in with your heart. When they're both on board, that's a green light. You go, you attack it. You fill your life with as many green lights as possible. Head is on board, heart is ignited. Now, when one of the two is on board, that's a yellow. When neither is on board, that's a red light. Red is no action. Make a U-turn, and here's the reality.
Speaker 2:So I'm talking to everybody in the playing injured community here. We've all been in tough spots. Being injured means at moments we feel stuck, we feel lost, we feel burned out, we're tired, we're exhausted, we're fatigued. Maybe we're not happy, not fulfilled. I've got a news flash for you. That is not a byproduct of running one red light. You wouldn't end up in such a negative place. But if you run red lights unconsciously for six, 12, 24, 36 months and you wonder how the heck did I get here? Well, that, my friend, means we've been running red lights.
Speaker 2:So when I write a book like Better Decisions Faster, it's because I want you to have as many greens as possible. I want you, now that you're aware, stop running reds. And then the last part is here's the playbook for how you navigate the messy middle of yellow. So more green. Stop running reds, and then we're gonna need a little coaching and expertise from look, i've made great decisions. I've made horrible decisions, but I learned from both. And when I populated it and talked to hundreds of folks on how they make very intentional decisions, that's what led to a book like Better Decisions Faster, and I think the head heart hands equation is something we can all apply.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I actually took your confidence quiz. I got a 70 out of 100, which cool. I was like you know what Great, because I know I have growth right And I want it room to grow And in it, the results that you know. it said hey, head, heart, hands. And I was wondering what that meant. Now that you explained that I think a lot of folks struggle with the yellow right Understanding. Okay, my mind is telling me like hey, this is what I want, but my heart is telling me like, uh, i would rather relax. Right, maybe I don't feel like it right, or maybe right.
Speaker 1:You have a burning passion for something and your head is saying, no, i think I'd rather play it safe. But your heart is like, no, i wanna go for it right, yeah, how can you start to manage that Cause? that can be complex. I think that can mess a lot of people up as well.
Speaker 2:Not only is it complex and you're 100% right, but let me actually break this down. I'd love to tell you that we live in a world of greens and reds. Nope, the majority of life is gonna be yellow. So that's what I mean When I wrote the book like look, green and red are awareness. If you're head and heart were both on board, that's not gonna be difficult to take that action. And now that you're aware, if it's no head, no heart, stop doing it right Or don't do it Like. That to me, is like you don't need a coach or a guy like Paul on your side. That's just awareness.
Speaker 2:The yellow, though here's the really cool analysis of a yellow. They're both different. So when head is on and heart is off, or vice versa, i would advise somebody to treat them very differently. Here's a couple of examples. So let's say, all right, you lead a team of people and you're like I used to be a sales leader or sales executive, sales manager in the NFL, right, and sometimes your top performers, so the top sellers. They're awesome. Your head is like man. We need this person on our squad, but sometimes, unfortunately, they might have a toxic personality, right. So they sell a lot of widgets, but they're hurting the people to their left and right and you keep them on the team because they're your most talented player. They're your most talented player.
Speaker 2:We deal with this in sports all the time And eventually it catches up to you. But we all know this If your heart is on board, let's say there's an opportunity. Let's say there's an opportunity where you find a cause or a mission or a side hustle. There might be some folks listening into this that have a passion project or a side hustle. So your heart's all in, but maybe you're not gonna make money for a couple of years. It's very realistic, right?
Speaker 2:Every entrepreneurial journey starts with that, and so when you think about those elements, my advice to that yellow is you stay in the fight, because when your heart is on board, that is so difficult to get to that place And so heart is on. You stay in the fight until your head joins for the party. You might need to play the long game, You may need to talk to a coach, you may need to have an advisor, you may need to just do things in your spare time to kind of build it, but your heart is already on board. So that's really kind of the way that you get through the yellows.
Speaker 2:If it's all head, no heart, your heart ain't gonna change and that long-term yellow can be more deadly than a red, But the inverse of it, oh man, when your heart's in, you absolutely need to be staying in that fight. Because I found that in life we have major heart gaps. We are authenticity. Everyone says they wanna be authentic, but we're so afraid of what other people think We live on other people's terms. After a while it stops to feel like our life, and so that's when I coach people, i basically reattach them to their heart, because I find that the more that we navigate life. Sometimes we just get a little disconnected from that thing in our chest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. And you talk about action as well. Hands. Folks have green lights, heart is in, head is in, and they're not taking action. I've been there, honestly, maybe we all have. How can folks start to kind of take action? What stops people from taking action when they have those green lights? Head is in, heart is in, but they don't do anything about it.
Speaker 2:It's a great question And I think this is the ultimate litmus test and the ultimate authenticity test. Because if you're telling me it's a green light, you're heading your heart or on board and you're still not taking action, that means that there is something inside of you that maybe there's a confidence gap, as I would call it. So you said, oh, 70 out of 100. And, by the way, nothing to be ashamed about, i think most folks. What I tell people about confidence is it's a dimmer switch. It is 100% a dimmer switch and where it is meant to be raised over time, sometimes it takes a hit, but just, it's not a light switch of on or off. You either are confident or you're not. It is absolutely like the micro decisions and actions you take can raise that over time. So if somebody's not taking action, a couple of thoughts come to mind. One is so our brain is wired to play small. Okay, we as human beings don't like risk, we don't like change. We say we want to change, but how many people really change, right, we? So there's this level of fear, there's this level of potentially self doubt. Maybe I'm questioning myself worth And like I'm not critiquing people. We've all been through these chapters in our life. But that's really what it boils down to is there is some roadblock inside of you that is getting in the way of action, and so when I say green light, you're already under on the other side of this. Okay, because my gut tells me, if your heart is onboarding, you're not taking action, then that's probably a yellow. Your head is not ready for the journey. It's not. And so that's where I say okay, who can you talk to? Who can you gain support from? Are you one honest admission away from being able to burst through that? And, josh, i'll give you a real example, a very vulnerable one.
Speaker 2:So I lost my dad at 19 years old, and my dad is a hundred percent my hero Now, a couple of years into being a dad myself, and six months into it, i did not feel like a hero. I was struggling with this new role in life, this new hat, this new responsibility. I kind of missed what life was before, and so I share this because I was in a good yellow light. My heart loved being a dad, my heart loved this little guy. My head was getting in the way It really was. It was. It was making me think too much about what I lost versus focus on what I gained. And I had to go through this pain, i had to go through this tension. I had to go through this really dark, empty, hollow, yellow light of like man. I kind of felt like a bad person for a while. But the advice I have for others is the same that I took myself, which is stay in the fight. So what that meant for me.
Speaker 2:I opened up to my wife. I was afraid to have the conversation, but I talked to her. I said this is how I'm feeling. This is where I'm at. I was so worried about how she would react. And the end of the story is she responded like a champ. She said we got this. I know you haven't been yourself Like, we will get through this.
Speaker 2:Then she tells me to talk to my buddies and I open up to them and all the buddies that said fatherhood was so amazing When we were pregnant. Then they came back to me and said Oh no, paul, actually first year was really tough. First two years were and I was like dude, you told me it was a homework card. And then they're like yeah, i just didn't want to lie, i messed with your flow, right, and I'm like, okay, fine, a good friend should have just told me straight up. But what I'm going with this is we got to battle through some of these head gaps, and so what I'm trying to figure out, if I'm listening to this, is like let me find the things that my heart is on board for, because then, if you stay in the fight, there is a happy ending to the story. I'm just not promising you that the happy ending is tomorrow. I don't know timing, but this is kind of like that if versus when game, you know, and when your heart is on board, it's just a matter of time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and I like that. You know, i think a lot of folks struggle with, like you said, like the litmus test of being authentic and being honorable. Right, you know, i can imagine you, you know, being able to lead an organization of very successful sales teams, and it's like I should be able to do this. Right, i should be able to handle this. This should be easy for me, right, and it could be tough to be vulnerable, it could be tough to be authentic and share this, and I think a lot of folks can let their ego get in the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah And Josh. One other thought too and I feel really passionate about this one is I feel like my personal transformation. I've got it before and then after. Okay, i was not always this really confident person, I was not always this leader that was just blasting off and achieving everything. And I'll tell you the big shift for me And I know this is hard advice to give, but it's advice that I give myself because I know that it works I had to stop caring what other people think. Wow, and that's straight up. That is straight up Like, because for me, if all I did was focus on what other people think, i would never have an authentic post on social media.
Speaker 2:I would never just let it rip on stage as a keynote speaker. Like there are so many settings where, when I quote unquote played the game, i was just climbing a corporate ladder. I was showing up as two different versions of me. There was a work Paul and a personal Paul. I've been there and I'm telling you right now that you may achieve trophies with that strategy, but your insides will be hollow.
Speaker 2:Like I lack so much fulfillment and passion and energy when I was showing up as two different people because I was just playing the game And then I realized that this game leads to nowhere. Yeah Right, you achieve the top of the mountain, you get the world, the plods, you, you get the trophy and you internally question because it doesn't feel that special. When you're up there, you start to immediately question I did all of that work for this? Right, like, really, and that let down is just so bad that I would say the pain of change is greater than the pain of same. So if you're feeling like, all right, maybe there's this authenticity gap, staying on the comfortable road, all right, continue to please other people, continue to go out of your way and live on other people's terms, because I've been there too And I'm telling you right now that is just going to lead to a path where you lack juice and energy and vitality on the inside because it's not really your life.
Speaker 2:But when you can live your life and there's going to be naysayers, there's going to be people that you might need to shed out of your life, there's going to be a lot of people that might critique you because you changed. But you got to just ask yourself what's the greater pain the pain of same or the pain of change? And if you want a different feeling on the inside, then obviously we need to change, we need to evolve.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. I think it's no freedom And I think a lot of times we want that We're fighting for freedom and we don't even realize it. We think that, okay, once we get the approval, then that's gonna feel amazing. But it's really the approval from ourselves, right Of not even being worried about it in the first place.
Speaker 1:How did that develop in you? You talked about hey, this is not who I've always been. How did that develop in you? I think a lot of folks in their 20s, 30s, even they can struggle with this of oh, i need to buy a house cause they got a house, so I need to get a car. I need to buy a car, whatever the case may be. So many of our decisions in life are kind of for the approval of others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, all right. So there's two games that we're playing. There's winning the outside game and there's mastering your inside game, and I think that the world raises you, whether parents or teachers or society or friends or whatever. It's all about winning that outside game. Who has the faster car, the shinier car, the bigger house, and it's things largely right, and that's how we measure success. Whoever makes the most money wins, and that's a very dangerous game, because if you're trying to win the outside game but you don't know who you are on the inside, that is a slippery slope. So here was my story of transformation. I'm head of sales for the San Francisco 49ers.
Speaker 2:Back in 2016, we go to a two-day off-site leadership retreat that changed my life Fundamentally. I emerged from that retreat a different person. It was the first time that I did the inner work of figuring out who I am, and so what that looked like was I now had a North Star. I walked away knowing my why. I also walked away knowing my core values And, unlike a lot of other folks that went to that retreat, that it was a lot of inspiration and there were good words that came out of it. I was the crazy guy that got so obsessed with that feeling that I had leaving the retreat, that I got obsessed with how do I apply these things on Monday morning? And that obsession with action is what changed my life. And so I'll give everyone an equation, because I want everybody go to paulfsingspeakscom. Take that confidence quiz. It's all there. But here's my equation for confidence Confidence equals values times action. Confidence equals values, times action. So when you know your values, the multiplication is the consistency that you apply, the consistency that you act. So values multiplied by action. When I realized impact, courage, growth, belief and authenticity were my core values and I started to consistently act on them. That's when my life changed.
Speaker 2:So I take this Jerry Maguire leap. I'll give you a few examples. I take this Jerry Maguire leap coming out of sports. Oh Paul, that's such a big decision. Like, how would you make that? Why would you ever leave sports? You know why Because impact is my strongest value. And when I asked myself can I create more impact inside of this industry or beyond? At that point the decision became easy. I wasn't just taking big swings of the bat because I had courage. I was taking big swings of the bat because impact is my strongest value And I felt like I could impact more people if I took this leap versus just staying in my comfortable lane Right.
Speaker 2:And you think about other values, like courage I mean, a lot of entrepreneurs are listening to this If you didn't start as an entrepreneur and you had a pivot out of you know, the postman shows up every two weeks, gives you that nice check, direct deposit every two weeks, safety, stability, comfort. And all of a sudden, as an entrepreneur, the postman stops showing up. You know like, hey, man, you don't hunt, you don't eat, and that's not everyone wants to play that game, but that takes courage. But I'm not here to tell you go be an entrepreneur. I'm not here to tell you go be courageous. I'm telling you, i became an entrepreneur because my core value is courage.
Speaker 2:So I had to act on it. At some point I was like, how can you have a core value of courage and always play it safe? But I wouldn't have had courage, but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't know my core values were there. So I just got married to these words And when I connected these words to actions, that's when my life changed. So my first thing is you got to know who you are, you got to know your core values, because now you can be very targeted and specific on what to act on 100%, And then that creates clarity, right.
Speaker 1:That's the main thing. Right After I took the test right, the confidence quiz, which I will definitely link for folks to take, because I think it's a great thing for you to be aware of. The first step is clarity, right, And with the values that you create, it creates clarity on your decision making as you make on a day-to-day basis Is this living in accordance to my values or not? And then, like you said, taking action on it consistently and developing that momentum so you can have some confidence. That's amazing. That's amazing. So tell me this right, Helping folks find their why. Right After you leave this retreat, you find yours. Right, You find your values, You find kind of your why your purpose. How have you helped others start to develop their core values? right, Because mine probably won't be the same as yours And everybody has their own kind of customizable way They see the world and their experience in it. How do you help folks kind of navigate those areas?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a great one, And I'll tell you, there's an old school process and a new school process. Okay, so, a couple of things. The one, the old school process, which is what I did when I was at the Niners. You're going to need time, you're going to need to be in some very intentional space like a retreat for one or two days, and what that looks like is you create a lifeline from birth to present day.
Speaker 2:You put a line through a piece of paper above the line, or the positive experiences of life below the line, or the negative experiences. You share stories with the people that you're with and then they start to tell you themes that they hear in your responses, and a lot of those themes turn out to be core values, right, yeah, so like an example for me would say okay, well, authenticity above the line is when I have been my truest, most genuine self. And then, below the line, there's going to be a different life story of mine that might say, paul, you sold out. You sold out like to get that game to climb the ladder. That wasn't really you, and so they figure out you know, paul, what gets you out of bed is when you were shining as your most authentic self and what pisses you off and what frustrates you is when you weren't authentic or when people around you aren't authentic And I'm like bingo, like the lights go off. So that's kind of the old school way is you do a lot of life reflection and you look for the above the line, below the line. But here's the cool thing about values In my lack some of the emotion of what I just said. But you could Google a common list of values. You could Google it.
Speaker 2:And when you look at 50 words or 100 words, i would say, just choose one, choose the one that resonates the most with you, the one that jumps off the page. If you asked your best friends to describe you in one word, what would they say? What would your parents say? What would your business partners say? What would your relational partners say If they described you in a word? you know, and I think those are beautiful ways of landing on a word. And then here's an exercise that I would subscribe to everybody You journal once a week for two minutes and it is once you have your word.
Speaker 2:I will live my value of blank by blank. The first blank is the value. The second blank is the action that you commit to because of the value. So let's give a couple examples. Let's start with joy. Let's say you look at a list of 100 words and you choose joy. So I will live my value of joy by cooking my favorite meal tonight, maybe something as small and simple as that. Now let's raise the stakes a little bit. What if you chose courage out of that list of 50 or 100 words? So in this case, i will live my value of courage by having that challenging conversation that I've been putting off. So you're not having that conversation because Paul said. You're having that conversation because courage is your core value and all you're doing is acting on it. And so it can be small, medium, big. But here's my suggestion You journal this once a week for four consecutive weeks.
Speaker 2:So two to three minutes a week. I'm asking you for 10 minutes over the next month. If you don't do 10 minutes in the next month, then you don't want to grow And like okay. But if you want to grow, this 10 minutes can change your life. Because here's what happens The first week you're going to force yourself to do this, one little action. Then the next week you'll do it again. A different action, right, but by the third or fourth week you're going to start doing three things in that week for that same value. And then by the fourth week it's a handful of things And the beauty there is habit formation typically happens between weeks three and four.
Speaker 2:So when my life changed it was because I locked in on one word, one value for an entire month And I sat down four different times to journal and commit to an action or actions for that week that were all connected to my word. And then, slowly but surely, it became muscle memory. I internalized it, they became habits and rituals And eventually it transformed me. But it started with one little simple journaling activity And everybody can do that. And here's the cool thing. And, josh, i don't know where you were in the confidence quiz journey. I know you took it, but what was email T afterwards? the 12 keys to build unshakable confidence? I actually have a visual of the journaling exercise in that PDF. So for anybody that takes the confidence quiz, with what's emailed to you after, i literally show you exactly, not only a common list of values, but equally I give you in print the journaling exercise so that you could just rinse and repeat it on your own 100% Yep 12 keys to build unshakable confidence right after you take the test.
Speaker 1:I'm looking at it right now. Yeah, pdf, 10 pages And it's built out for you, man. This is amazing. This is amazing. And so, paul, definitely, you know, as we wind down right, building unshakable confidence And you talked about, you know, confidence can go up and down, man, i've been. It's been times where I've been it's confidence can be, it's been times where my confidence has been on low. And you're talking about it being unshakable. Right, it may not be perfect, right, but how can folks stay dialed in, not allow life to hit their confidence?
Speaker 2:So my ways to build unshakable confidence One I've already said, and so I'll just repeat the high level. But I want to add value, so I'll give a second and new response. Number one confidence equals values, times, action. So if you just follow the blueprint that we've laid out in this combo, regardless of the adversity or the negativity that surround you, if you lock in on who you are and you consistently act on it, that is a formula where you can't lose. Let me give you a new approach, especially if you're not in the best of spots.
Speaker 2:I call this your daily program to success, and it's tied to a scoreboard of success. That's different from what the world calls success, because the world tells you it's about winning and success and achievement and high performance and trophies. That's fine. The problem with that is we don't achieve those things every single day, and so if our confidence is connected to those things, you're not going to be confident every day because there's not a trophy every day, And sometimes you're going to have a bad day or a bad week, and so it's a very dangerous thing to go down.
Speaker 2:But let me reframe it. I call it EIR, the principles of EIR experience, information relationships. Experience, information relationships. If you can pick up those three things every day, if that is your daily scoreboard, ask how you could possibly lose And here's what I mean At the end of any given day experience What new experience did I gain today? Then, at the end of the day, information What information did I learn today? Lastly, relationships At the end of the day, what relationships did I build or enhance today? So, if every single day, your scoreboard to success is new experience, learning, information, bettering your relationships, that's something you can achieve every day.
Speaker 2:That is a win. That is a scoreboard that supports your growth and your development. That is a scoreboard that does not rely on a good economy, it does not rely on good circumstances. It just relies on you having the intention to say let me put myself in a position where I can pick up new experience. By the way, let me play devil's advocate. What if you say well, paul, i hate my job.
Speaker 2:Okay, is that experience not showing you actually? then you want the opposite. That's beautiful, like, it's like a relationship. Oh, this isn't the right person. Well then, that person is informing you that you want the opposite. That's good experience. It sucks in the moment, but it's good for you. So experience is good if you find the good even in the bad. Information is like you could read 10 pages of a book every morning and be like I'm checking that box. I'm not asking you to climb Mount Everest like 10 pages of a book. And then, lastly, relationships Plant a new seed every day, or take an existing seed of a relationship and make it a better, healthier, more fruitful relationship, experience, information, relationship That is a daily scoreboard to success. That, in turn, the more consistently you do it, you build that unshakable confidence. Yeah 100%.
Speaker 1:All the best times in my life I can look back to new experiences, new relationships and new information. even right, It's when we feel kind of fulfilled in life, And so I love that. Paul, where can folks find you and continue to follow your journey and develop unshakable confidence?
Speaker 2:Absolutely everything is on my website, PaulEpsteinSpeakscom everything from the confidence quiz, more about my speaking, the books And, of course, on social media. Linkedin and Instagram is where I'm most active, but the home of everything, PaulEpsteinSpeakscom. 100%.
Speaker 1:Paul, we appreciate you, man. This is, i think this is an amazing message. That's simply put. I think people can digest it and really start to build the life that they want from this right. One step at a time right, but doing one step, going deep. This is one of the more simple ways I've seen it. So I appreciate you sharing all the value that you've shared today.
Speaker 2:This has been amazing. Thanks so much, josh. Yeah, fired up. And to everybody out there, just keep on. Like you said, just win one day, one decision, one action at a time, and if today didn't go how you wanted it to go, there's a reset button. What a beautiful gift. Every single day, we get a reset button.