Playing Injured
Playing Injured reminds us that life challenges us all—athletes aren’t the only ones who play hurt. Whether it’s setbacks or unexpected curveballs, our response defines who we are and how we grow. This podcast explores the universal journey of resilience and perseverance, inspiring listeners to face adversity head-on.
Ranked in the top 2.5% of podcasts globally, hosts Josh Dillingham and Mason Eddy—entrepreneurs and former collegiate athletes—deliver over 100 episodes featuring diverse voices. They explore mindsets, uncover strategies, and motivate listeners to thrive and play through anything.
Playing Injured
A Guide to Authentic Living w/ Kevin Palmieri (EP 133)
Kevin Palmieri shares his journey from external success that left him empty to building a life of authentic growth and fulfillment through consistent boundaries. The founder and host of the Next Level University podcast reveals how organizing his life with clear boundaries has been the key to reaching nearly 2,000 episodes and sustained success.
• Treats podcasting like a 9-to-5 job with firm boundaries that prioritize productivity
• Sets and maintains boundaries despite potential discomfort or disappointment to others
• Values keeping promises to himself above pleasing others
• Believes building self-trust comes from consistently showing up for yourself
• Warns against social media comparison which shows only highlights, not reality
• Experienced suicidal thoughts despite external success markers
• Advocates for setting "embarrassingly small" goals rather than massive action
• Emphasizes alignment between goals and core values
• Describes his superpower as the ability to "suffer well" through challenges
• Maintains that most success comes from staying power and consistency
Follow Playing Injured on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/playinginjured/
Welcome to another episode of Playing Injured. We have an old friend here, mr Kevin Palmieri, the never-quit kid. He's a CSO, a founder host of the Next Level University podcast, which is a global top 100 podcast. Almost at 2,000 episodes now, right.
Speaker 2:We're, we just recorded. I literally just recorded one. I think it was 1978, right before this.
Speaker 1:That is crazy. You guys are crushing it and, like I said, been following you from afar and the advice that you share with me as an early podcast host. I never forgot it, so appreciate you coming back on the show.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you having me man. I told Josh behind the scenes. I said when I saw this on my calendar I was like whoa, this is going to be a throwback and I'm glad you're still plugging along. I hope all is well with you and I'm excited to chat and see how we've evolved over the last. What did we say five years?
Speaker 1:Yeah, five years or so Time has flown by and I think, obviously for you and I would love to ask you the consistency of it all, right, Like we mentioned, you guys are almost at 2,000 episodes, right, and we talk about your endeavors, things that you're passionate about, or whatever the case may be. The consistency is key, but what's key for you is the way you organize your life. So I would love to hear how do you organize your life? What does that look like? But also to the boundaries that you've laid, so that you can remain consistent on the main priority things.
Speaker 2:I had a conversation with a friend recently and he said hey, man, can you take me through your day like minute by minute? I was like do you, do you really want me to? You said yeah, I do. I was like all right, and we got to a point where essentially he was struggling with his morning routine and he was just kind of getting lost throughout the day yeah and I said here's the thing, man.
Speaker 2:I have been a business owner since 2018. I've been married. Well, I've been with my, my wife. We dated, so we've been together for like six years. I can count on two hands the amount of times that I've had breakfast with her during the week, that I've had breakfast with her during the week. That is unheard of. I don't.
Speaker 2:I'm in the office from 9 am until 6 pm, essentially every single day, and it's a closed door. When the door is closed, you gotta pretend I'm not here. So I guess that the best way to describe it is I just try to treat this like it's a nine to five, except it's way more. I don't do stuff during the week. You're never going to see me at a lunch on a random Tuesday. For me, I'm here. I got to stay locked in. I got to stay locked in. That helps me to stay consistent. So essentially, it's that Monday through Friday, I don't leave the house between 9am and 6. Ever Almost ever I get up early, I go to the gym. I get that out of the way. That's kind of the way it's been designed, just because I don't want any distractions and I want to make sure I'm being as productive as I can. Disclaimer that's not for everyone and this ain't going to be one of those hustle porn. You've got to do exactly what I've got to do exactly what I got to do. You can live your life in your own way, because you probably want something different than me.
Speaker 2:The boundaries piece is hard because sometimes it comes off as cold. Sometimes it comes off as I'm not important enough for you. Sometimes it comes off as you care more about other people than you do me. But the boundaries are. Look, this is up to me. I want to provide a really good life for myself, my family, our team. That is up to me. Nobody is going to do that other than me. That's up to me.
Speaker 2:I decided to sign up for this. This is my responsibility. It's nobody else's responsibility. I don't necessarily expect people to understand anymore. What I do hope is that people will respect my wishes, just like I respect theirs when they set their boundaries. So, yeah, I think it's just. I've just become less and less mousy around. What's important to me this is there's really nowhere I'd rather be than with you right now, in this moment. This is awesome. I love this, but without the boundaries of the things that we've had to set up. I wouldn't be able to do this as often as I can, so I would say that's probably the best way to state it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. And I think usually business and I wouldn't say business is easy, but business is simple. Podcasting is pretty simple. We're just having a conversation, right. We can do this every day somewhere else, right, it's the life piece, Right. And having that organized Right. And so, through that nine to five, the way you treat it. Talk to me about saying no to folks like how do you disappoint people or how are you comfortable with disappointing, right? So that's one piece of it, right. And then also, what you're doing is countercultural. It's different than most people. People might question you or look at you weird, right? How do you handle those things?
Speaker 2:look at you weird, right? How do you handle those things? I'll answer the second thing first. Yeah, when I used to meet people and they say they said what do you do?
Speaker 2:and I said I was a podcaster I get a lot of weird looks yeah, for sure, and I knew it was like okay, especially when I was, when I before I got with my wife when I was dating. It was so hard because a lot of the women I was trying to date just didn't understand it. They're like like, okay, you're going to be broke forever. It's like I'm broke now and I'm not going to be broke forever, I promise. But I also understand. It's super weird. Now I get a lot of love for it.
Speaker 2:You in the beginning are the people that are asking you for advice. Eventually, when I go to weddings now and people say what do you do? And I say I'm a podcaster, it's always a really cool, interesting conversation. So the script is flipped on that. It's taken eight years, but the script has flipped on that. You know.
Speaker 2:I think I've gotten to the point where I realized that I would rather disappoint somebody else than disappoint myself and then regret it. I realized that I would rather disappoint somebody else than disappoint myself and then regret it, and I think that's all that boundaries are. Boundaries are a suggestion of core values. I want to get very clear on what my core values are and what do I value as a human being, and it's my job to stay in alignment with those core values If I go outside of alignment, right. So let's say I have a meeting right after this. Okay, this is a good example. Let's say we're coming up towards the end of this. We've been doing this for 57 minutes and I say Josh, just FYI, it's been wonderful, man, I got to hop in three minutes. I got another call. You might get upset with me the collective, you, not you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But the opposite of that is, I just keep going, I'm late to my next meeting, and then I start to resent you, josh. Josh made me late. Josh did not make me late, I made myself late because I didn't set that boundary. That that awareness for me has been very powerful, because now I know, yes, it's uncomfortable in the moment, but it's going to be worse after and I'm going to regret it. I'm probably going to villainize that person and it's not going to work. That's part one. And then there's a quote the people who are most offended when you start to set boundaries are the people who probably benefited the most from you not having them in the first place.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So when you start to set boundaries, it's a really good piece of proof on how people react if somebody says oh dude, my bad, I didn't realize we were coming up against it, let me get you out of here. Have a great rest of your day.
Speaker 2:You're the type of person I want in my life yeah if it's the opposite of well, we're in the middle of a really good point. Just can't you just be 15 minutes late? No, no, I wouldn't be 15 minutes late for your podcast. I don't be 50 minutes late for something else. So boundaries expose people. Boundaries highlight who you want to be around and who you don't. So I think I just have a more positive relationship with getting the highlights than I did in the past.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and I think, like you said, you expose people, you expose the folks who are supposed to be in your corner. Start to kind of weed out the folks who aren't supposed to be in your corner. You mentioned something really important that I think affects your self-image. It is not disappointing yourself, right? And I think a lot of times we are so afraid of disappointing other people or we care about other people's opinions of us that we forget about ourselves. What's going to make us the most proud of ourselves? What's going to make us go to bed at night happy, go to bed at night feeling good about ourselves, so that we can wake up the next day and build on that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Talk to me how important that is. I think that's the most important piece of building your self image and kind of building your confidence along the way.
Speaker 2:One of the most important things to be aware of is are you more afraid of success or failure? Because that's going to dictate how you respond to setting boundaries. I'm not afraid to be alone, I know. In the beginning of my journey, my thought was I need to figure out a way to get around people who are going to help make me better. I can't really have any dead weight in my life. I got to, like, figure out how to do this. So I just want to put that out there, because that dictates the promises that you set and keep to yourself. Some of the promises are I know this thing makes me nervous, but I'm going to get outside my comfort zone and do it anyway. That's a great promise. The other one might be I know I've been friends with this person for the last 10 years, but I really need to start setting some boundaries because they're starting to take advantage of my lack of boundaries.
Speaker 2:That's a social thing, but at the end of the day, I think what confidence is is having a burden of proof that shows you that you are capable of the thing that you aspire to do, and I think self-worth, which is internal, is I advocate for myself through my actions, through my behaviors and through my boundaries. So that's why showing up for yourself is so important, because you start to build self-trust. Oh, I am the type of person who exercises Interesting. When you practice a behavior for long enough, it becomes a part of your identity. When it becomes part of your identity, it's harder not to do it than it is to do it, and that's why it's so important to repeat things over and over. But it's the same thing internally, internally, especially when it comes to setting boundaries super uncomfortable in the beginning Gets a little easier, a little easier, a little easier.
Speaker 2:Eventually, maybe you get to the place where you identify as I am the type of person who sticks up for myself. I am the type of person who asks for what I'm worth or I deserve. I get what I deserve. I get what I'm worth. Those are very, very different lives. But, to your point, if you wake up every day and you break all those promises to yourself, you're probably not going to keep investing in yourself. Alan, you know, alan, he has a great quote. I sound like alan on this because he's always dropping quotes. If you had a friend who broke as many promises to you as you have broken to yourself how much would you value that friendship? Yeah, you have a relationship with yourself. The deepest relationship you have is the one with the person you see in the mirror. If you're letting yourself down constantly, that is hurting your self-belief, that is hurting your self-worth and that is hurting your self-trust for sure. It just might not seem like it that much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. I don't think people think about that. This is a relationship that I have with myself yeah, you're talking to yourself.
Speaker 2:I mean you have more conversation with yourself than you do with anybody else. It's it's your internal dialogue, it's your, it's your operating system. It's the record that's always playing. I mean that record is on repeat but you can get up and go search for a new record and that's what that new behavior is.
Speaker 2:And eventually, after a long enough period of time, that new record is I can do this. I can do hard things, I'm consistent, I'm this type of person. But it just takes time because that other record has probably been playing for a long time. So it's hard to. If you've been doing something for five years, you're not going to fix it in five minutes, most likely.
Speaker 1:It just doesn't really work that way, unfortunately. Yeah, it takes work. And you talk about that old record. I think a lot of times we do a lot of things that feeds that old record as opposed to feeding this new record, right? So I was actually looking at your Instagram and you talked about folks comparing themselves to people on social media, right, that's like an example of feeding that old record of, like, all of your insecurities. You're feeding it by following other people's lives, right? As opposed to, hey, maybe you hop, you get off Instagram and you listen to some podcasts or you read some books or you exercise, right? Or if you are on Instagram, maybe you're using it in a productive way to grow yourself, right? So talk about that. Like, what can folks start to do to have a different mindset? Right, the easiest things folks can start to do to kind of quiet that older record that they have, that old limited self-beliefs that they have, and kind of grow into a new direction step is to identify it.
Speaker 2:So what is the current record? Is it? For me it was. I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm gonna get left behind. Those were mine. I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not gonna I'm gonna get left behind. That was it. Yeah, identify step one, because without awareness you're just kind of throwing darts hoping they hit. So, identify first. I think the second thing is reflect. Where where do we think this record came from and where did it start? Cool, let's reflect. And then, essentially and again, simple, not easy. You just kind of do the opposite. Now, I know it's not that easy, but if you're, it's fear and discomfort, and getting out of your comfort zone is this weird thing where you kind of just have to do the thing that you don't want to do yeah you want to be a public speaker, you gotta start speaking.
Speaker 2:That's it. That's the answer. Now we can dose it correctly. You don't go speak in front of 100 people. You speak in front of your camera and nobody else cool. So I think the the third piece would be break the thing that seems almost impossible up into something that seems almost embarrassing.
Speaker 2:Okay, you've been letting yourself down. Every day you say I'm gonna go to the gym today, I'm gonna go get a gym membership today, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. This is a great concept from Atomic Habits. Tomorrow, just wake up and put your gym shoes on and then you can go back to bed. You don't have to go to the gym Next day. Wake up, put your gym shoes on and then put your gym clothes on. Next day, wake up, do that and then search for a local gym and then, like the fifth day or the sixth day, you drive to the gym and you start talking about a membership. By the end of that week you have done a bunch of things that you hadn't done before.
Speaker 2:It might seem embarrassingly small. Some other people just go to the gym. It doesn't matter what other people do. Other people have different struggles, other people have different core wounds, they have different triggers. It's not about that. Even that is comparison. Well, I shouldn't have to do that. I should just be able to go, maybe. But that's not constructive, that's not productive.
Speaker 2:So I think it's that it's with humility start to set goals that seem almost embarrassingly small, because doing the opposite probably isn't benefiting you. It's you and I are recording this in. I think it's the middle of february new, new year's resolutions have came and gone for a lot of people. Because you try to take a year's worth of results and put them into one sentence, you're not giving yourself time to build the habit, to build the identity, to build belief, to build the self-worth. So, yeah, I think it's identity, identify, reflect and then, probably with humility, set some goals that are almost embarrassingly small, because it's easier to build momentum than it is to fail and then say, okay, I have to try something different. I think momentum is a very wonderful thing if you can build it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, it's unstoppable to a degree, right, yeah, once you start to build momentum, it becomes very easy to stay with it and then, like you said, eventually it becomes your identity and it's who you are. And now you would rather do it than not do it right. So I think one of the struggles is that people struggle to take those small steps because they are comparing themselves to others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Right, yeah, yeah it's. I said this, I put this on my story today. I really hope you're as happy as you look on social media, because the people that you're comparing to on social media aren't as happy as they look. On social media. Everything is kind of a facade. Nobody really knows what's real Like, even this. I'm not telling you about all the times I've cried myself to sleep because it's just not that constructive and nobody really wants to hear that. I'm happy to do it because I think it's valuable, but it's not the highlights, it's not the positive, it's not the productive, necessarily.
Speaker 2:One of the things that's super important to understand is on social media, you are literally seeing the top 1% of people. 50 years ago, if you wanted to do that, you had to go watch a movie. Now you open your phone and you see the most beautiful, the most sexy, the most in shape, the wealthiest, the best speakers, the funniest people, the most successful people, because that's how the algorithm works, but that's what's being highlighted to you. So, yeah, comparison is really, really dangerous because we don't know what we're actually comparing to. We only know what we see. We don't know what we're actually comparing to. We only know what we see, we don't know what they feel, we don't know what they think, we know what we feel and what we think and we just make assumptions based on the results that they have. And then I think the other important thing is I think for most of us we look at someone and we assume that where they are today is where they have been forever, when in reality they've been grinding it out too behind the scenes, just like most of us, and we assume where we are today is where we're gonna be stuck forever. That's not necessarily true either. So I think the difference between where somebody is and our assumption, with how they got there and where we are, and our assumption that we're stuck there is very, very challenging from a comparison standpoint of today.
Speaker 2:We were chatting about this, it was on air. We're going to be recording our 2000th episode next month, I think. Don't compare to that, if you're just starting. Don't compare it. Compare to where I was in the beginning. I sucked. I sucked in the beginning. Don't compare to 2000. Compare to one, because you're not starting at 2000,. You're starting at one. So at least try to find an accurate comparison point if you're going to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and use it as inspiration too. I think, not as a level of, oh, I'm not good enough, oh, I'm not there yet. And also, too, all of our lives are different. We're all starting from even your episode one and my episode one. Hey, maybe you were a public speaker before, maybe you were doing things on the radio before and I was not Right. So it's all different and it's all relative. Where it's such a dangerous game. But also too, I think, on social media we are comparing all all these areas of life. Like we're looking at the fit body, we're comparing that. Then we're looking at the rich guy and we're comparing that. And then we're looking at this person who is just like super cool and has a, you know, eccentric personality, and we're comparing it to that. And so we're comparing all the best areas of life to our own and we're creating, like this unattainable avatar that we definitely can't compare with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, a lot of people have dedicated their lives to the results that they have. I wonder if it would help to know that most people are just really good at one thing. Yeah, I wonder if that would, if we had the awareness like imagine if above my head there was like an attribute bar and it said health, wealth and love and you could see where I actually was at. I think that would be so helpful, because you might see somebody who's maxed out a hundred out of a hundred fitness, but their relationship might be in the toilet and you wouldn't know and you wouldn't assume that. So I don't know, maybe in the future that'll that'll be a thing, but until then I think we just have to be very intentional with who we follow and why.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and I think it's also important to be authentic to who you are right. You mentioned right you guys were. You had a bunch of guests on the podcast, right, and it was great, it was fun, but you felt like it wasn't necessarily best for you, in the most authentic to who you are, to have to continue to have guests on the show. Talk about that. How important is that to be authentic to who you are?
Speaker 2:um, as you continue to kind of grow your own path I think it's everything and I think it's one of the hardest things in the world, because what's best for you authentically might not be what's best for the people around you. That's the hard thing is, maybe authentically you're an introvert and you want to be an introvert. That might not be best for the extroverts in your life who want to see you all the time, but that's the conversation about. Well, how authentic and aligned do you want to be? I think it's so important because I think that when you pretend to be somebody else to fit in, nobody ever really sees the real you. So nobody can actually value the real you. And you know that you want to be valued for you. You want to be valued for what you actually believe in, what you actually do, what you actually think. Nobody can really value you at level 10 unless you show them level 10. But it's scary. It's scary as all heck to do. But I do think that's something that we all could aspire to if we think it would be worth it in the long run, and I think it's. It's very fulfilling. I think that's probably the best word to use is I've had bouts of again.
Speaker 2:I've been a podcaster for a long time. In the beginning it's like who am I? How much do I want to show? Yeah, that's a cred hit. If I talk about how broke I am now, it's like I just want to be me. And that doesn't mean I want to be toxic. That doesn't mean I'm saying, well, I'm just kind of an ass. That's just who I am. No, no, I'm not saying that. I want to highlight the parts of me that I really like, enjoy and believe are good for the world, and I want to work on the stuff that isn't.
Speaker 2:I think that's what alignment is. I think alignment is, if we think of what alignment is, it's getting everything connected of who you are. It's being yourself, it's showing up as yourself, but it's also for taking ownership, when showing up as yourself might make people feel a certain way. So I think there's a level of confidence that comes with. I think there's a level of certain certainty that comes with it. But there also is the downside of the fear of judgment and all that. So, as with many things some of the best things ever there's also a myriad of downsides that comes with it. It's just a matter of figuring out whether or not those are worth it. Is it worth facing those to you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and I think, for instance, I think a lot of folks are scared of getting rejected for who they truly are. That can be tough for a lot of people. I also think that it is another level of when you are being authentic but you're staying comfortable too right. So if I was to say, hey, I want to be a podcaster, but I don't like to speak in front of people or I don't like having conversations, well, it's like, hey, you might have to change a little bit, right, that may not be who you are authentically, right? You actually need to challenge that. So I think it's a level of understanding who you actually are and I think, like you said before, you have to reflect, you have to identify who you actually are, your fears and different things like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't mean stay the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It means be more of who you are, mm-hmm, and sometimes more is growth.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Right, sometimes more is less. Yeah, it all depends on the person. But I think that's a really good example, because my wife and I had this conversation one time. We went to a party it was like a I guess it was a wedding rehearsal and she said sometimes it feels like you cut yourself off from people. And I said I, I like to do that, though I'm not doing that necessarily from insecurity. I think I'm so secure with the fact that I just don't. I don't need to mingle, like I'm okay if people are like who's that weirdo sitting in the corner? Like doesn't really bother me, but is that also a crutch?
Speaker 2:yeah would it be scarier, like Like I'm so comfortable doing that. That doesn't mean it's the right thing. Maybe to be more well-rounded, you should do the thing that scares you a little bit more, because that will add to the comfort, right, so that. But that's why it's so hard. There's so many room, uh, there's so many directions and there's so many categories that we can grow in, and that's why I think that's what makes it so hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what do you think got you on your journey of like I don't know, this journey of constantly looking to grow, looking to develop yourself? I think you know, the older I get, the more I realize you know folks want to grow, they want to get better. Get, the more I realize you know folks want to grow, they want to get better. Um, they just don't right. And then you have some folks who are actually like they really think deeply about their growth and their life and wanting to get more out of it. What did this journey start for you? Kind of walk me through that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, massive pain, massive pain, massive pain. I I was somebody who, from the outside, looking in, had it seemed like I accomplished everything. I was getting ready to compete in a bodybuilding show, so I was quite literally in the best shape I'll ever be in. Girlfriend was a model six-figure income, sports car, new apartment, great friend, all the things. All the things from the outside you would think that you wanted, but inside I was miserable because I had focused so much on my life and growing my life externally. I never focused on growing myself internally. So that was a really hard time for me. My girlfriend left. I was broke for a while because my bills doubled. That was a challenge.
Speaker 2:Went on to make even more money the next year because I thought that was going to solve my problems, and then I ended up sitting on the edge of a bed contemplating suicide because I was just so freaking miserable. I was hopeless. I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. And then I started the podcast. And when I started the podcast, it was just I want to have deep conversations with deep people, much like you and I are doing right here. Like this is where it started for me, just like this yeah and then eventually I'll be very honest I don't want to grow.
Speaker 2:I, I don't. I'm not the person who wakes up in the morning and rolls out of bed and says time to time to crush it, today like I honest, some days like I just gotta figure out how to survive this. I have to grow because my goals will not be accomplished if I don't. I think the difference between those of us who grow as much as we want, maybe those that don't is there just isn't enough necessity. There has to be some level of necessity. I don't think people just grow to grow, there's got to be a deeper, a deeper reason. The only reason we're going to hit 2000 podcast episodes is because I want to podcast for the rest of my life. 2000 is just a number, it's a cool number. But if I said I'm going to start a podcast, I'm gonna get to 2000 episodes, would I have gotten there? I doubt it. I doubt it. No, that was never the goal. It's just a very beneficial byproduct of the goal. There's something to that. If I stop growing, this whole thing crashes and burns. I can't. My wife is counting on me growing. My business partner is counting on me growing. The team, everybody, the whole thing is dependent on me growing. That's a lot of necessity. That's a lot of necessity.
Speaker 2:So, if anything, I don't know that I'm a product of. If anything, I don't know that I'm a product of discipline. I don't know that I'm a product of work ethic. I think I'm a product of goals that are really deeply meaningful that I would regret not trying to get, and those dictate what I do and what I don't do, and that's okay and I'm okay with that and I signed up for that, and I just think that's why I think there's just got to be a level of necessity attached to the, to what we do, because, yeah, I mean, it's easy to crank together a morning routine and do it three days, and then something else comes up. It's like inconvenient to do it. That's where the goals kick in. Well, I'm on vacation, but I'm going to do my morning routine anyway, because that's what I promised myself I was going to do this. It's about the goals. I think that's probably the best answer I could give.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's about the goals and about setting them right. Yeah, setting them first, but it's about the necessity, and we talked about that necessity piece, and I think that's different for everybody, 100%, and I love how you put it. You said first you were focused on the external right. What we see on Instagram, actually we see on social media, yep, the things that we think that will make us feel better, and they don't. They don't end up making us feel better.
Speaker 1:Maybe we think we'll get some compliments and people will treat us a little bit differently, and then you realize, hey, maybe they do, but maybe they don't really, maybe they really didn't pay attention to it at all, maybe they really don't care about all these external things that you have, or maybe people are only in your life for those external things, not really for you, right?
Speaker 1:And so you start to realize, like, oh, it's some changes that I need to make inside. Right, it's these certain pain points that I need to figure out and discover and reflect on. How can I heal some of these old wounds that you know, you know cause the pain in the first place, right? So I think that's a very deep answer. But also to these goals of, hey, how can I flip the script and grow in another direction and maybe give my next generation a way different life than I had, not just monetarily but also to? How can I Teach them different things that I was, that I didn't learn Right? How can I give them better love that I didn't get Right? It's a lot of different things that growth um can provide um along the way growth's opportunity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, growth, growth is opportunity. It's an opportunity to impact somebody in a way that maybe you were never impacted. Yeah, and in touching on the first point, I think it's a very common thought and it makes total sense when you think about it logically, or maybe maybe it's when you think about it logically, or maybe maybe it's when you think about it emotionally, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It makes sense to think that external things will fix internal voids yeah it makes sense because I think a lot of the internal voids come from lack of external things. At a younger age I was short. Girls didn't like me. I had very little money when I was young and I always felt insignificant. Okay, I'll get a very attractive partner, I'll make a boatload of money, I will get jacked and I'll feel good.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, no it.
Speaker 2:It it was internal. The external stuff eventually becomes internal and then it's the. The fix is internal. I got a new car a couple years ago and it was the. I bought a bmw. It was the first bmw I'd ever owned and I remember two things happened.
Speaker 2:One I was driving off the lot. It was in the showroom. They'd like move the cars to get out of the showroom. I was like, whoa, this is something. One thing I was crying when I left the dealership Cause I never thought that was going to happen. That was one. Two I also was very familiar with the fact that this is not going to make me feel any different. That's just an important understanding. Love it. I. I've gotten compliment, great, awesome. But I have to be okay with me because that car is not going to make me feel any different about me. Do I get momentary bouts of happiness when I get in it? Yes, do I get anything sustained? No, yeah, you know what you get sustained car payment that's what you get yeah, you get a sustained car payment and you get bouts of happiness.
Speaker 2:That can't be the fix. That just it can't be the fix. There's got to be more to it. It has to be more about you than it is about what you have. But sometimes it takes getting those things to realize that they didn't fix you in the way that you thought they would. So that's the paradox of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I guess I never thought about it like that, where, of course, we think these are going to fill voids that we didn't earlier in life, right, and we try to fill it with. And it's crazy if we can sit down and reflect like, hey, what am I gravitating towards now, what do I think is going to fill the voids that I feel now? And kind of trace it back and reflect, hey, what did I lack as a kid? And it will start to make sense. It's like, oh, let me give myself some grace here. Right then, let's try to flip the script with small steps along the way. All right, I think that's huge. I think a lot of folks don't think about it like that and I think it's just another form of self-awareness, of course.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course, small steps. It's not. I think one of the most common misconceptions is people say take massive action. That works for a subset of humans who have very high self-belief. That was never me. I never resonated with that content. Just don't care what people think Never worked. I care deeply about what people me. I never resonated with that content. Just don't care what people think Never worked. I care deeply about what people think. I still do. I have a fear of judgment. I have a fear of rejection. I have all that. That never went away. I just learned. I learned how to coexist with it and I learned that it wasn't the end of the world if those buttons get pushed and they get poked. But that's. I think that's just one of the most common things it's people talk about.
Speaker 2:This is how you make six figures this year. This is how you get your first high ticket client this week. Those are results, not typical Most of us. It's a longer game. It's going to take a couple years to get results in certain things. It's going to take a decade to get well known in some other thing. I've been doing this for eight years. It's a long time.
Speaker 2:In the beginning Nobody cared, understandable. Why should you? Why should you? Right? So don't be afraid to break things into smaller pieces, even though a lot of people are telling you you should have massive goals and I was. I was that way in the beginning. I thought everybody was supposed to have goals, like I do, until I realized how much pain and suffering I've gone through in the pursuit of these goals, and I don't want that for somebody else, especially if they don't value the goals like I do. Most people should set smaller goals, probably. I really do believe that, because you can build momentum off of that foundation. It just is unsexy.
Speaker 2:But I think most of the fundamentals are just not sexy. They're just not. I saw a video you're in the gym, you know. I saw a video the other day of this dude, really good shape, and he's doing this ab exercise where he's like hanging from the rack and he's throwing a ball up over and catching it on the other side. It's like dude, super impressive. Yeah, nobody's gonna do that. Yeah, that's not how you. That's not how you got the physique you have. You did the unsexy fundamentals. You realize they don't work on social media and then you did some wild stuff. I see you, but that's not where almost anybody's ever going to start. And back to comparison we go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know the boring mundane things. It's actually so much magic in it. It's actually so much magic and that's where momentum comes in, right. I don't think a lot of people realize that I actually so.
Speaker 1:I spent some time in Mexico City earlier this year, two weeks solo. Just wanted to get away from the cold first off, but I wanted to experience something new. The main thing I realized while I was discovering a bunch of new things, trying a bunch of different foods and grain in a different culture, was man, I miss my boring mundane routine back home that I've created. I created it because I knew it worked for me and I knew that it was magic in it, and so I couldn't wait to come back home to wake up early and do all the boring things that I do and go to the gym and what we've created. We've created this boring routine for us, and I think people don't realize it. But success is choosing between the apple and the cake, and choosing the apple. That's success, right, because you're now on a certain trajectory to get to where you want to go.
Speaker 2:I think it's a percentage yes, it's, a percentage that's all, and everybody's percentage is a little bit different yeah, right josh might choose apple 75 of the time. Somebody else might choose at 60 yeah it's. I think that's a really good example for what you're gonna get in 10 years, though yes that's the hard thing we did an episode we were talking about.
Speaker 2:Alan was like all you really have to do is just do something for 20 years and you'll get really good at it. I was like alan, I know, but do you understand how hard that is and how hard that I've been doing this for eight years? It feels like a freaking lifetime. It's like I've been doing this for eight years. It feels like a freaking lifetime. It's like I've been doing this forever. It's been brutal. I can't imagine another 12. I can and I know we're going to do it, but it just I don't know what it would be like in in 12 years that it you have to you.
Speaker 2:I think success first is determined by what you value. Let's start there. Because I'm not. I don't plan on having children. There's a reason for that because I don't think I would be a successful parent, because I think the goals that I have set would unfortunately affect my children in a negative way. That's my, that's my honest truth. I don't think I could be a successful father. I'm not in the way that I want to be, but that is a that has been set up where I can actually try to have the level of success that I want, it's core values, core beliefs and core aspirations, and if any of those are in conflict, things get really dangerous.
Speaker 2:I had a call with a client one time and he said I want to have a successful podcast, but way, way, way, way, way more successful than you guys. I was like cool, love, that awesome. I don't know what it's going to take to get beyond where we are, because I haven't got there yet. But these are my questions for you, on a scale of zero to 10, how important is it for you to get your children off the bus every day? And he said, oh, dude, 10 out of 10. Cool, what about going to your children's recitals, sporting events, parent-teacher conference, stuff like that 10 out of 10. How important is it for you to have dinner with your wife every night? 10 out of 10.
Speaker 2:I said, brother, with all the love in the world, this ain't for you. This ain't for you Because I traded in all that to get to where I am, am and I'm not even close to where you want to get to. I'm not saying you can't do it. What I am saying is, if you do do it, you might regret it. That's a conversation for you to have with yourself and the people close to you. But that is the thing. Misaligned success is not success. I think misaligned success is regret. But going back to comparison, that could be the through line of this whole thing. I want, I want that, I want that, I want that. But do you want to do what it took to get there based on your core values, your core beliefs and your, your core aspirations? You might not, and that's totally okay, but I'd rather you know that now than before you dedicate a decade of your life and then regret it. Yeah, that's key, right there.
Speaker 1:What direction do you want to go? Yes, what's important to you, right, and that's why I asked you in the beginning what have you put in your life to make sure that you zero in on what's important to you, right? So, for instance, for him, it was family, for you, it's podcast's important to you, right. So, for instance, for him, it was family, for you it's podcasting and growing it, right, and it's like, hey, you know, these are the things that I've put in my life so that I can stay consistent to this. But his success is totally different, right? These are the boundaries I put in my life so that I can be successful as a father, as a parent and different things like that. So I think that's key. That's the first step is what is important to you and what do you value most in life? Not what you see that's shiny, looks good and will get you kind of the most compliments and the most attention, and different things like that. It's what's going to make you feel your best.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I said this. We have a group coaching program where we're coaching a bunch of podcasters and we talk about mindset. We talk about this stuff because this is important. This is just as important as any tactic I'm going to teach you. I said I'm going to be very honest with you all. I am willing to bet if I gave you the keys to the kingdom so you can come, sit in my office and it's yours. The business is yours.
Speaker 2:A lot of you would be freaking miserable because you're just going to be working all day, every day. I don't think you actually. I think you want your own unique version of success, and maybe ours is a good inspiration point to get clarity. I'll give you the keys to the kingdom right now. I think you'd be miserable because I don't think you want to live your life the way I live my life kingdom right now. I think you'd be miserable because I don't think you want to live your life the way I live my life.
Speaker 2:Understandably, I'm not going to suggest that you should. I want you to do what's right for you, but that's why I think the hard truth is not everybody's supposed to be a millionaire. I wish everybody had all the money they needed to do all the wonderful things they wanted to do. But what it takes to acquire a million dollars is drastically different than, in some cases, than what it takes to acquire $50,000. It might put you outside of alignment with your family. I just think that's an important conversation. I do. I think it's a super important conversation to have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I don't think a lot of people do.
Speaker 2:I didn't. I didn't, so I understand I love it.
Speaker 1:Well, ending on this, I would love to hear man the never quit kid right and I know we talked a little bit about this, but I think that's what playing injured is all about is, hey, you go through things in life and can you fix things along the way as you continue to go in life. Can you persist, can you continue to go right and Never Quit Kid. I just love. Every time I see it, I'm like man, I love this, I identify with it. Right, how has that kind of, I guess, been like the engine that runs Kevin the never-quit kid.
Speaker 2:I was never the smartest. I was never the best. I was good at some things, but I was never really the best. But the one thing that I had that a lot of other people didn't is I could suffer really well for whatever reason, for whatever. Unfortunately, that was the superpower I was given. It wasn't necessarily super strength. Or I wasn't tall, that was the superpower I was given. It wasn't necessarily super strength, or, you know, I wasn't tall as heck, but I could suffer, I could endure, I could be resilient. That I mean.
Speaker 2:A lot of success is just staying power and surviving right. I mean we've been doing this a long time. We have to be some level of successful by now or we would have died already. So it's that it's just the resilience to show up when I don't necessarily feel like I'm good enough, when I don't necessarily feel like I'm smart enough, when I'm dealing with imposter syndrome. I think that's what resilience is.
Speaker 2:For me, it's more about the internal stuff than it is the external. The 12-hour days, the 16, 16 hour days that's not. It's not great, but I think it's harder to face the internal stuff of. I have a podcast today. I don't think I'm good enough to do. I'm going to get found out. They're going to know I don't know what I'm talking about. That stuff's so hard to go through so hard and it's invisible. And then you show up and you kind of have to act like you have it. That's so hard to do. I would say that's where the never quit kid piece of me is now. I think when I was younger in life it was just dealing with physical pain. Now I think it's dealing with what it takes to evolve and all of the internal stuff that seems invisible and most people will never see, but is deeply, deeply challenging and personal to each and every one of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, things that you have to kind of break the barriers on every day, on a daily basis, of like, hey, yeah, I don't feel good enough, but we're going to do it and, uh, you know, I'll believe right, it's always a new, a new level to break.
Speaker 2:Um so, I'm playing injured Josh. I'm out here playing injured every, every day. It just doesn't. It just doesn't maybe look like it, because it doesn't always get revealed. So I appreciate the, I appreciate the perspective of the show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, people can't see it, and I feel it every day. I feel it very often. I'm like wait, I have to remind myself wait, you've done this before, you've done it multiple times. You know, hey, you've changed, you've grew Right, and so it's definitely a constant reminder. Kevin, where can people find you? Where can people continue to follow your journey and see what you guys got going on?
Speaker 2:I appreciate it. Never Quit. Kid on Instagram is a great place, and then Next Level University is our podcast. It's on all the platforms, it's on YouTube. We do an episode every single day, so if you're looking for a consistent bout of self-improvement, we'll be there. We're in your pocket every day, from anywhere on the planet, completely free. If I'm going to tell you you can get a little bit better every day, I better be walking the talk and I better be there to help you do it better every day.
Speaker 1:I better be walking the talk and I better be there to help you do it. Yeah, 100%. And what's great about your show is that the daily podcast that a lot of folks see is probably like 10-minute episodes, five-minute episodes, the quick snippets. You guys give a lot of value on a daily basis, so appreciate you coming on the show.
Speaker 2:Appreciate you having me again brother.
Speaker 1:Looking forward to seeing your journey. We'll see you in five years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see.
