Nicole Hernandez

Hey, this is Nicole Hernandez, the traveling hypnotist and the resident healer for the four seasons hotel in downtown New York. I met Pablo at pod Fest 2020, right before the world collapsed. And you know, what I really love about him is that he is like the kind of crazy dude that seems like he might get you into trouble, but you're probably going to find yourself learning something really cool about yourself and about the world. Now that's why I think you should connect with him because he's going to take you for a wild ride. That's going to just connect you with your heart

Pablo Gonzalez

Welcome back to the chief executive connector podcast. I'm your host and chief at Tex executive's connector. Pablo Gonzalez. Today. We've got a guest that I'm super, super pumped to talk about. She is known as the traveling hypnotist. Nicole Hernandez is a hypnosis practitioner, anxiety, educator, or resident healer at four seasons hotel, New York downtown. She helps clients unpack anxiety, me included for the record fear and unhelpful habits so that they can take on the world with clarity and ease. Her process is informed by modern hypnosis neuro-linguistic programming, mindfulness, and her innate intuitive gift as a lifelong student of behavioral psychology neuroscience movement and spirituality. She believes in a solution oriented approach anchored in the understanding that neuroplasticity is the key to true transformation. Her hypnotic journey, method combines imaginative sensory, rich experiences, which we're going to get into today. Cause I just did it a practical and practical tools to interrupt old thinking patterns and behavior. For more than a decade, she led a parallel career path in corporate marketing while teaching mind. Movement fitness, yoga and guided visualizations in NYC, New York city. She is certified by the national Guild of hypnotists, the NGH and the international association of counselors and therapists. Nicole works virtually with clients from around the globe and offers select in-person sessions at the four seasons hotel, downtown New York city. If you want a ball so hard over there, and she is also the host of the daring kind, the podcast for extraordinary people who dare to leave live extraordinary lives. She has been featured in success magazine, be Latina, best life, fem city salon.com well-defined and now the chief executive connector podcast. She is sneaky good at karaoke and an awesome hang because of that. I learned at pod Fest, Nicole Hernandez. Welcome to the show. How are you today? I'm awesome.

Nicole Hernandez

Thank you so much. I feel that really was a hike. I'm like, yeah.

Pablo Gonzalez

You know, you put a, you put a little inflection in someone's bio in it and you know, you know, it lands a little bit better. Right.

Nicole Hernandez

Can you just record that for me? We can put it. I love to play that like every day, just have your voice

Pablo Gonzalez

Pablo you're in luck. Cause we recorded that. Okay,

Nicole Hernandez

perfect. Put it on blast.

Pablo Gonzalez

Yeah. If you ever need someone to come out and like hype up a crowd and intro you before you give a big presentation on it. Awesome.

Nicole Hernandez

Well done, done,

Pablo Gonzalez

done, and done. Awesome. Awesome. Nicole, I'm pumped to have this conversation. I think you're a rockstar. We, you just gave me a hypnosis session last week and my brain is on fire this week. So I. I think it's awesome, but I always start my podcast. Right. You know, me, I'm all about human connection. I want our friend that's listening in her ear right now to see you as this human being first. And I believe that the, the key to connecting with people quickly is adding value to their lives, which I think we're going to do through our conversation and sharing a vulnerability with someone. So someone sees you, you know, humanizes you. So I ask all my guests to, to tell me something that they're struggling with right now or something you've struggled with recently. So we can kind of dive into that and then we'll get into your zone of genius.

Nicole Hernandez

Yeah. I would say the thing that I have been struggling with. Right now is trying to get pregnant. And it has been like one of those big ones of really moving through this time of being at that place where like, in your early forties, it's kind of like the last, the last bit of, you know, of possibility. I mean, I'm sure you can get pregnant until your fifties. I mean, Janet Jackson did it, so there's hope, but yeah, just navigating through that right now. and the ups and downs of that, of that challenge. That's real.

Pablo Gonzalez

That's for real. Yeah. Thanks for, thanks for sharing that, man. That's the first time somebody shares that one here. what's the, from the outside looking in, I've never tried to get pregnant. My wife and I haven't had to have kids, but I've seen a lot of people kind of deal with it. And how is the, how do you approach the communication factor, the connection factor with your husband as your. You know, like dealing with this, do you have like a game plan for it? Is it like a day-to-day thing is, you know, is one person better than the other Attia kind of like what's, what's working for you. Yeah.

Nicole Hernandez

I mean, I think for us, it's just, we know that we want to have a child and I'm at a place where I've, I really want to take the, take it and run with it of let's figure out this because I'm also really open to adoption. And so I want to be able to have a, like a desire to like go one way or the other. And for him, he's a little of, let's just see what happens. So I'm definitely more of the instigator. but I try to just keep the ball rolling.

Pablo Gonzalez

Gotcha. Yeah. Any advice for a dude? Who's. Wife is, you know, like you're going through this advice from like, what a male, what a males need to hear to support their wife or support themselves when you're doing this thing kind of together. Is there any, anything he's doing really well or anything guys should know?

Nicole Hernandez

Here's what guys should know. Let's just put it that way. I think guys should know that for women, a lot of this all comes down to more of like the identity of a woman. And so we've been told from the time we were little girls that having a child was like part of our birthright. And so it goes beyond just the baby and the pregnancy it's, it's, it's really dealing with the part of our identity. And so I think you had to be really sensitive to that. and like if a woman is having a hard time, because she's really dealing with a lot more than just like the ability to conceive, it's like, This is part of my womanhood. And so to really take that into your heart and be with that so that you can really understand where she's coming from.

Pablo Gonzalez

That makes a lot of sense. Like, I think as a, as a guy, it'd be almost like, again, women don't need to have children to prove their identity, the same way that a guy doesn't really need to be the breadwinner to, to prove his worth either. Right. So like, it's, it's like one of those kind of like gender things that, that society has given us that is harder to deal with. And then to then to say it. Right. Right. Thanks man. Thanks. That's I appreciate your sharing that that's really powerful and I hope that helps somebody, right? Yeah. I hope so, too. So now a hard pivot here let's let's demystify have gnosis. All right. So, so you, first of all, I kind of want to, I kind of want to commend you because I think the. From the outside looking in, and this is like a total game, respect game move. And I hope it comes through as this, but like, you reach out to me, you're like, Hey man, you want a free hypnosis session and talk about on your podcast, I think is brilliant. Right? Like get yourself some PR of how it applies, the way that, you know, you know, I think it's easier to, to tell people what you do. It's, it's more valuable to show people what you do than to tell people what you do. And to have a conversation with someone that's been through, it is a much better sales conversation than you telling somebody what they're going to experience, man. So I think it's a really brilliant kind of like strategic move by you and I'm all in. Cause I win because I got a hypnosis session and now my brain's on fire. So I want to, you know, like full disclosure, I want to help you with this. Let's let's, let's talk about what happened, right? So, so you reached out to me and kinda w. Wow. What? So tell me what you kind of like put me through last Friday. Cause it was a week ago, right?

Nicole Hernandez

It was a week ago. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for that. Because a lot of people don't have a misconception that hypnosis is, is the same thing as stage hypnosis or that it's for entertainment. And so I really wanted you to experience what hypnosis or hypnotherapy is really like. And and for me to what we went through was really a bit of just understanding the problem. Right. And are you okay with me sharing? Kind of. Okay. Okay. So we talked a little bit about your procrastination. You're like, man, I'm like procrastinated and then a snack and like all these things are happening. And so, you know, our goal was really to get to the underlying positive intention because everything we do has a positive intention beneath it. And so when we can really come to ourselves with that kind of compassion, It's a game changer. And so for you, it was really looking at the dynamics, like looking at the facets of the procrastination and, and you kind of said to me, yeah, I procrastinate and yes, but I want to be doing all these things. And there's another part of me that just wants to be surfing and just wants to be having a good time. And so like, how do we bring all of that together? And that's what our whole mission was during the session was to really help you bring all of that together, their creativity. Yeah. Yeah. All of that. So I'd love to hear from you. Cause we went through some different exercises, like you started off. How did you feel when you first started the session with me? Well,

Pablo Gonzalez

listen, first of all, I want to contextualize, right? Like I've told like 50 people about this. Cause I don't shut up. Right. Like what I'm doing, I'm a promoter and I, I, the way I described it is that it fell. Like a one part guided meditation, one part visualization exercise, one part EMDR kind of like a, like a therapy session kind of thing. Right. and I thought it was really, really interesting. So from, from my perspective, I was very open to it. Right. Like I, I knew enough, number one, I've been curious about it from like a, you know, from like a magical am I going to think I'm in a shower and I'm swimming with fish kind of thing. And I knew it wasn't going to be that right. but I was definitely very open to the idea that this was going to be something along the lines of a guided meditation slash therapeutic session. and when we first started, that's exactly what it felt like. Right. It felt kind of like, you were just. Diagnosing and, and asking me deeper about my why, and getting to a root cause which felt very like therapy slash branding exercise. And, and, and then, and then we, you know, we went into this, if I remember correctly, right. It was like this, like when you asked me about the why, and when you got to it, I knew that we went into this exercise where you asked me to like, put up my hands and visualize like the downside of procrastination, like the, the, like the evil character and like the, the, the devil and the angel, right. Like of, of what's causing procrastination and the things that I want and the things that I admire, or like what I'm seeking. And at that point, I was like, okay, this is cool. I like this. And then you were able to bring together this idea that the same thing that drives me to procrastinate is the same thing that I. That drives me to succeed as well. Right? Like, like this idea that like, I just want to have fun and winning is fun, you know? Like, and, and, and being, and like, you know, doing, showing up the way that I want to show up in the world is, is also fun. And it doesn't have to be two different things. And then it went into this like kind of get guided meditation where I brought the two characters together. all of that was pretty normal. And then we went into this like visualization, next exercise of seeing myself like looking at myself to the right, right. Like where I'm looking right now. And I wish I didn't have like a stage light here. Cause I was kind of ruining my buzz while we were doing it. But, but then we went into that like guided meditation thing and it was kind of trippy, right? Like I, I, I, as I was trying to concentrate. I started like imagining myself involved in this like green slime, kind of a wave that I just kind of went with it a really, I still don't know what it all meant. And then you kind of talked me out of it and one-on-one my day kind of thing. And I was telling you before this call that I had, I guess I didn't tell you that much detail. I've said I've had a super productive week. Right. And I don't know, I don't know if it started with the meditation or not, but like I had kind of let go of my morning routine for like two weeks. And then coming into this week, I knew that my wife was going to have surgery on Wednesday, so I need to have to get my shit straight. And, and so like I went back into my morning routine and it. And I've been doing it in a been super productive. And my creativity is out like on fire right now. And I've been eating way more healthy right now. So whatever, whatever it is, I don't know if it was the nudge. I don't know it was what I, you know, so I'm just, that's this that's my whole like kind of journey through it. And now let's talk and, and, and dissect on it. But I have had since that moment, and this has happened to me before with like a Reiki session too, right. Like where it's like, I have a Reiki session and then I have a super productive week after. Right. So, so talk to me now. Right? Like that was me vomiting, everything that I screwed up.

Nicole Hernandez

Yes. Okay. So what happened is, is what we're specifically going to talk about here. So so what happened is that you are bringing up sensations, right? Like all of these sensations felt in your body, the imagery that sometimes we don't actually have words for, but they represent the story you're telling inside. Hmm. And so when we began to play with the imagery that we can't often articulate, it allows us to then begin to shift it. And so now we have like, it just think about in your mind, you've activated now this neural network, that's connected with those feelings, with the memories, with the sensations. And so in that you're able to now create some changes, right? So you're changing. We're, we're shifting the dynamic from making procrastination wrong, to really helping you see how it's been, how it helps you or how these other facets can help you and then weaving them all together in the state of focus. And that's like the ultimate learning, right? So then you're going to sleep, go to sleep that night, your brain starts to rewire. Now you've got a new neural connection. That's now connected. With this thing that you want to do. So to be more productive, then we remapped it with creativity, with some other, you know, like little spices, if you will, so that you have a choice now, like you can go back the old way of procrastination and make yourself wrong for it. Or you can go this way where you can include all the other ingredients. That's essentially what we do. We want to also like you had one session and you said this has been happened to me before with Reiki. So what we could continue to do is to continue to work together, or I would have multiple sessions with somebody where they start to really build in the strengthening of that new neural pathway.

Pablo Gonzalez

Yeah. Listen, one of the things, one of the things that hit me immediately, right. Is like my, my Achilles heel is definitely guilt, right? Like. Catholic Hispanic guilt. And, and when I go into, when I go into self sabotaging behavior, I go into guilt. Right. Like I it's definitely, it's definitely the guilt nerve that gets activated. And the thing that very tangibly, I was like, Oh, this is genius. Was that whole like decoupling guilt from guilty pleasure of procrastination and aligning it more with my identity. Right,

Nicole Hernandez

right. Yeah. And that's so important. We go through our lives, segmenting the pieces of ourselves, like I'm in business. So I can't show this part of me, like my sensitivity, my big heart. Right. And so we were constantly trying to pull ourselves apart and make parts of us wrong when in fact bringing everything together. And in a way that's nonjudgmental really helps us activate who we really are. And it liberates us like hypnosis to me is not just like some Moomoo thing. This is like liberation of your identity. Yeah.

Pablo Gonzalez

So when I say EMDR, are you familiar with what that is? Did you study that? Like how, how similar, like, what is the difference between kind of what we were doing and what, what MDR EMDR is and like, how does it differentiate? Well question. I gotta, you know, like I don't, I'm not educated here,

Nicole Hernandez

so I'm not super fun with EMDR. Yeah. But I know enough that it uses like bilateral stimulation. there's there are pieces of it that are incorporated in a hypnosis and there's also a visualization for what I understand. Like some of my clients have done EMDR and then they have all these like little tools that they want to use with them. I'm like, I don't do that. We're not doing that here. That's not what we do, but there is some overlap in, I think there's a lot of like, it's unloading the ma the emotional load, unpacking the emotional load, if you will. That's what EMDR does hypnosis does is something very similar.

Pablo Gonzalez

Yeah. Yeah. EMDR does it with specifically like audio in your ear, like one thing's clicking on. So like da like couples, the feeling would be with another sensation and then, and then separates it that way. Yeah. You seem to have been doing it more with like more of a mind kind of like internal visualization and, and, and whatnot. Wares. How much of the neuroscience do you know of what's happening when you're doing that? You're talking about like rewiring brainwaves and stuff like that. Like what's the, what kind of, what's the, what's the, the science behind that, that you can speak to it.

Nicole Hernandez

Yeah. So when you are in, we'll say trans we'll use the word trance for like purposes of understanding what we're talking about when you're in trance, you're completely focused, which means your dopamine levels are really high. Right. So, and we're using visualization, we're using imagery. So you're like, like it it's like when you watch a movie and you're like, so absorbed in the movie and like everything else outside of you can disappear. Right. And so in that moment, you're like in a super learning environment, you're absorbing, you're taking it in you're we're able to like, look at things differently and shift the perspective all within the session. And then as you're doing that again, you're lighting up this neural pathway. That's connected with these emotions, sensations, the languages, the memories. And then we're just adding in like a resourceful state. So adding in like an emotion into that, which begins to then change it. So now we start to create a new neural, not a new neural pathway, but we rewire the neural pathway. Let me give you another analogy to help you understand this. So let's say that you were, tell me again, where do you live right now? Jacksonville, Florida. Okay. So you're in Jacksonville, Florida. How and how far is like Orlando from you? Like

Pablo Gonzalez

two hours. Okay.

Nicole Hernandez

Okay. So let's just say you got in your car and you were driving from Jacksonville to Orlando, right? And you, you punch up Google Google maps and Google maps gives you a road to take and you go down that road and it's like really super bumpy. There's like, there's a lot of traffic. There's potholes everywhere. You're just like super frustrated. By the time you get to Orlando, But you've done this enough with Google maps that you know how to now get there without Google maps. Right? So you keep going down that way right now. Another day that road is blocked. No, ma'am you can't go and so you have to find a detour and you've go the detour. And it's a beautiful scenic route. There's no potholes. Like it's just beautiful. You get there. And you're like, Oh, that was so much easier. The hypnosis is that detour. You say you come up to that memory that maybe the old memory, the old sensation, and we detour show you a different route and now you have a choice. It doesn't always, mean, some people may not go that the new way that we showed them right, until this gets practiced, but now you have a choice of a different way of seeing the world.

Pablo Gonzalez

I like that. I like that. Like, I've always, I've always looked at therapy as like giving me tools to handle stuff. Right. And it seems like hypnosis isn't is, is in that it's in that category, right. It's like tools to process emotions with language that you didn't have before, or process emotions with mechanisms you never had before this visualization thing. Right? Like I've, I've definitely kept that little, like the Dennis, the menace character and the executive character that I had in my, in the two hands in my, in my mind, as I'm like, maybe I should just go with some granola and like, fuck around. And I'm like, nah, no, Dennis, the menace, this is the moon. So I like that, man. That's I thought it was, I thought it was really valuable. Like, I, I, I really did enjoy, I w what point was I in trance?

Nicole Hernandez

You were in and out. So I take you, I take people in and out and I don't do, like, I don't often do a hard trance. Sometimes I do. If somebody is really tired and I just need to like, get them in a resourceful state, I don't do a lot of coaching at the beginning. Then I just like take them into trans, but I often will go in and out and then close with trans maybe just to kind of resource the state. and it depends on what somebody is working on. Like, everything is so individualized and it's very intuitive for me. So I don't, there's not like a hard process for anything. I just go with what the client's presenting and we work with it. It's like, it's every time it's playing, it's like, it's like jazz. Like you're playing the bass. All right. Then I'm going to do this over here. And then we're going to like, keep going, you know, like it's just a song dance.

Pablo Gonzalez

I like it. I like it. I like it. I'll take the keys. Yeah. That's cool. So when did you, when did you start getting into this? Right? Like your, so your background is you're a marketing exec, right. And you're a very emotionally intelligent person. At what point did you start going down this rabbit hole of, of finding this out?

Nicole Hernandez

It's so interesting because I was actually afraid of hypnosis, you know, like I had had this idea of stage hypnosis, but I really was having so much anxiety within my career. especially as I was elevating into new roles, new executive roles. And I got to a place where I started to have panic attacks and I just got released sick. And and I thought it was my work environment. I thought it was the corporate environment. And so. I started, I left and I started my own company. I started a marketing consulting company. Now I should back up here and tell you for the last like decade, I've also been like a yoga instructor, mind, body fitness. Like my buddy has always been a part of my background. My, my grandfather is also a missionary and a pastor. So there's like the spiritual component. My mom also has a mental illness. She was diagnosed with bipolar. So I've dealt with a lot of like emotional, spiritual stuff all my life. And a lot of psychology is always psychology has always been in my background. So all of that leads up to this moment in time where I start my own company, my own consulting company. I give up yoga for a little while, cause I just really need to focus on growing this company. And then my hair starts falling out. I, I have like a huge bald spot in the back of my head cause I was so stressed out because it wasn't the environment that I was in, in the corporate. It was me then that's the thing you learn when you become an entrepreneur. You're like, Oh shit, it wasn't, it wasn't that it's me. Like everywhere I go there, I am kind of thing. and so, yeah, so my hair started falling out and then I started, I've always had like a little bit of Gastritis but it really became severe. Like people might call that, you know, IBS, or I was never truly diagnosed with IBS, but I was having really awful stomach problems where I couldn't eat. And for whatever reason, somebody in the past had mentioned hypnosis to me. I had like read a book about a hypnotist. Like I was like, I'm going to try this hypnosis stuff. And so, you know, I did it and I went to like a group session and it was a lot like. The meditations or the visualizations I had already been hosting in my yoga classes. And I was like, Oh, this isn't so scary. Not at all. Like, I know I actually know how to do this. And so I started to actually just listened to YouTube and some of the guided hypnosis there for free. And every day I did that. And I just noticed that over time, my stomach just started to just release itself like that anxiety that I was feeling like symptomatically started to release. And then my hair started to grow back. And I did, like, I had some dietary changes. Like I stopped drinking coffee for a little while, then it also helped. But over time, like things just started to change. And then I wanted to know why this worked. So went into hypnosis training, not to become a hypnotist because I wanted to understand it. I love science. I loved like the details. And through that process, it was so healing because you're constantly working with people on these hypnosis sessions going through them. And I already just remember having a day where we were all together working with each other. And I had this moment of recalling my younger self and, you know, remembering that my mother was, you know, bipolar. She was also very suicidal when I was younger. So she was in and out of mental hospitals. And I had the burden, the responsibility of taking care of my brother and also taking care of her. And there was like this link in the back of my mind, that was. More responsibility that was added on in my career. Like the more money I started to make, it was really linked to the sense of responsibility that was really driving my anxiety. Like I needed to hold it all together and this was like really taxing for my body. So it was a matter of me in that session of letting go of that and like, really just in a way just kind of grieving that childhood. And once I did that and I cried for like two or three hours straight afterwards and just let go of the emotion and in the coming weeks, like anxiety. Was not a problem. It just, I have tough moments and you know, where of course things shifted. Yes. I feel anxious for a moment or meta, but it's not, it wasn't chronic. And that kind of healing that I had been seeking through therapy through Tony Robbins, through everything else that I had tried for years and years and years to be able to happen so fast, a fast, and we're talking like, you know, that was one session. Like it was incredible. And so I felt like this, I was like, this is my calling. You have those moments in your life where you can look back on everything go, Oh, I was like karate kid, like wax on wax off before this and everything I was doing was just leading me right here. And this is exactly what I was supposed to be doing. This is like my sole purpose. And so that's why I do what I do because it helps me with my anxiety. And I know it can help other people who are also high achievers and like. You know, there's always a lot of pressure that you put on yourself.

Pablo Gonzalez

That's a, that's an, a amazing story like that was so I wanna, I wanna, I wanna break down two things in there. One is I've, I've lived watching this kind of story, right? Like the, the idea that, and I don't know if this is, I dunno if a woman are more aware of this because they're just more intuitive or this is something that, because society treats women a certain way, they're like more prone to this, but the disconnect between the mind and the body and, and the, and the search for healing based on a disconnect with mind and body is a journey that I'm very familiar with because of my wife's journey as well. And she kind of like you with hypnosis. And probably yoga as well, right? Like she did the 200 hour yoga teacher training to figure out what's working and then got in conduct with her body. And then she found a therapy. That's like a movement therapy and art therapy, which really helped her with her trauma and, and has been, you know, now, you know, red body keeps the score, you know, like there's, there's a lot of, there's a lot of meat there don't pack. Would you say? And, and again, I am referring to the, the absolute reality that there is something in our, where we're at in this stage of human evolution, that there is a disconnect between our subconscious and what's happening in our body and it's creating physical ailments and people, would you say that hypnosis is the next logical step? If someone has taken those steps of like yoga and therapy and you know, like is, is hypnosis a logical step is hypnosis something that. Yeah, handles that from a different angle. So it's a different tool. So it's something you should try. If you haven't found your answer, can you kind of like speak towards if I'm, am I down the right path here?

Nicole Hernandez

Here's what I will say. Everybody has their, something that works for them. And I think this is a really great tool for people that, again, don't have not found healing in just the articulation, the talking of therapy because it allows for so much more to be revealed through, you know, to deconstruct the meaning of the stories that we have been telling ourselves. I will tell you that I have had a client recently whose, Who's started seeking me for emotional eating and she, you know, she's also a high achiever. She wanted to be on video and wanted to be on stages. And she's like, I don't like my weight. I'm embarrassed. Like, I don't want this. And I was like, all right, we're going to work through this. Well, we started to unpack over a few sessions and we really started to get into the root of this. And there was a lot of like shame from her past, like things that happened to her in childhood. And I won't go into those details. I will tell you that it physically changed her body to let go of the shame and those emotions. And she got pregnant when she had been trying for five years with her husband so during the course of our sessions, she got pregnant and she was, she didn't actually didn't believe it. She didn't want to go take a test cause she didn't want another like failure. And I was like, no, I'm telling you right now, you pregnant. Like I. Intuitively, no you are. And she was, she went and finally got it, went to the doctor and she's pregnant and now she's going to have a beautiful baby. And she did not even think that was possible for her, but it's, there is something that changes the body when we let go of these emotions that we've kind of kept trapped for so long.

Pablo Gonzalez

That's a beautiful story. That's awesome, man. the other thing I'm hearing is a really high correlation between, cause I'm, I'm approaching it from the trauma level. Right. And I think there is a very high correlation between like, I think trauma. Or at least I've heard Bernay Brown say this, right? Like there is the people that when you're like under, under immense trauma or stress or whatever, you either over-perform, or you're shut down. Right. So like, there is, there is a really nice little Venn diagram of like major, major high achievers that have some kind of trauma locked in, but I'm sure there's another Venn diagram within that, where it's just high achievers that just carry all this weight and all this pressure. And, and talk to me about kind of what you see in the correlation of, of high achievers and, and the, and the benefit that this, that this spring to that.

Nicole Hernandez

Yes. So for my high achievers, they are. Again, I think it comes back to just accepting theirself themselves. Right. High achievers have been given like the rule book and they're like, check Mark, check Mark. And I did it in 10 minutes. Right. So there's this like drive to like, get everything right. And perfect. And there's also a lot of like guilt and a lot of shame that comes with not being perfect. And I don't know anybody. That's perfect. Thanks. Do

Pablo Gonzalez

you rush? No. No, not from my mom. Mommy. Mommy. You're perfect. Okay.

Nicole Hernandez

You set for your mom, but I don't really know anybody. That's perfect. Right. So I think for high achievers, this allows us to. To really bring in those other facets of ourselves. And there's a lot of beauty in that, like the creativity that we can bring into our work when we allow it, like the, the intuitive insight that comes when we actually stop and allow and be, it can be at peace with that part of us, it just needs to take a break. Like all of those pieces can really come together. We can find our wholeness in this work.

Pablo Gonzalez

Yeah. You know, what you're describing to me is like a micro experience of what I felt during this whole thing. Right. Not that I don't know if this is shame togging, but like no, to not to call myself a high achiever. but you know, what I, what I'm hearing in your words is like integration, right? Like you're just integrating with who you are and accepting it instead of, and it's kind of like shut up imposter syndrome. Like this is, this is what it is. Nobody else has. It figured out nobody. Else's perfect. And if you can, and if you can. You know, you're carrying around this like bowling ball bag of this, like insecurity and shame and whatever, based on an expectation that really isn't real or like, or like feasible. If you can decouple that and integrate with understanding that you are serving at your highest potential, because you're using your superpower to help other people, then your creativity gets unlocked and your energy spikes and your focus is better. I mean, that's, that's kind of what I've been feeling this

Nicole Hernandez

week. Yeah. And thank you for mentioning that about the expectations, because it's amazing to me, the, the crazy expectations that we have that are so unrealistic. Like I had a client that said to me, I want to be more confident. It's like, sorry, there's like a little fly flyer. She said, I wouldn't be more confident. And I want to be confident all the time. Like, I just always want to feel that way. And I was like, I don't know, one person, again, it's like the perfection, like, I don't know, one person that feels confident all the time just doesn't exist. And, but we have these models, like these crazy things in our mind of what the expectation is supposed to be. So we can be like, I think this allows us to like learn to be honest with ourselves. And also we can start to pull apart those old beliefs and the expectations that have been holding us back.

Pablo Gonzalez

I love it. I love it. Like, I love it all, all this stuff rings so true to me. Right? Like guy, I. I see it's like a pandemic of epidemic proportions of this stuff happening to everybody that I know. And I don't know if it's, you know, because we've evolved a certain way and now, you know, we're, we don't, we don't have a tiger to be scared of. So we think that missing an email, there's like a tiger that's about to kill us or, or, or, or whatever it is, but this like unrealistic view of the world that everybody has. And, and it gets really magnified when it comes to the realistic view of the world in relation to who you are and having a tool that allows you to focus that lens, you know, whether it's hypnosis or whatever it is to me, it's, it's worth seeking.

Nicole Hernandez

Absolutely. That I think that is our work right now as, as humanity is to really let go of, of the past and to, this is the moment where we start to really change by going within, with stop, to like, look so much on the external. which I think we've, you know, done throughout history of like focusing on how do we, how do we get into the hierarchy and like conquer each other, but like, how do we conquer the shit that's within us right now? And then we changed here and in when our internal world changes, the external world changes for us

Pablo Gonzalez

fact. You mentioned something around the idea of having better conversations informed by hypnosis that's. That's fascinating to me. Tell me what you mean by that.

Nicole Hernandez

Yeah. So I think some of this you, you might be familiar with in the sales process, maybe some not. So for example, when we start a hypnosis process, we do the pre-talk and that's just setting expectations for the outcome, right? The outcome we want to have also setting up for things that may or may not happen, you may or may not have this experience. And I think that's really important, you know, even like in a sales call or any, any type of experience that you're about to host, like, just so that there is. An awareness of what could possibly happen here. It makes people feel safe. I think. And then from there, it's a matter of really practicing, active listening, which is what you do as a hypnotist. So like I'm listening to you, I'm also really noticing your body language is your body language closed or open? I'm listening to the words you used. You say things like I'm overwhelmed. Like, so that means that the stress is above me right now. I'm underneath it. And like, how do I help you change your relationship to whatever it is that you're experiencing and then That means that we actually aren't looking to just butt in and to speak our part of it. Cause like we can go, we can do that in conversations you're like you're speaking, here's the thing. And I'm going to interrupt you and. If we practice this active listening, it allows people to really get into that depth and they build rapport because somebody finally listening to them deeply and that, and we just don't give each other that right now. Like it's so rare that we really give each other that moment to be heard and seen. And we really desire to be seen. Like, it's one of the, are one of the values that most of us have. Yeah. I sit you're like, you can see Pablo

Pablo Gonzalez

dude. Aye. Aye. I had to stop myself from jumping in like three times in there. Right. Cause I want Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this right. But it's true. It's funny that you're S you're saying all this stuff, because for me, I remember when I first started interviewing people early 2019, when I was just kind of like following up with people from conferences and I had this other plan for content and my wife and I were going through a hard time and, and kind of like her main complaint was that I was never present. She's like, When you're doing those interviews, you're giving those people so much, like you're so present and you don't do it with me. And I was like, Oh right, like this, this, this art of podcasting. Very much mirrors, all these positive pleasure centers that you're talking about, right? Like the opportunity to make somebody feel heard is very, very valuable to that person. I notice my opportunity to really focus in and listen and know that I am not the star of this conversation is very, very valuable lesson for me that I continue to learn. And then I continue to cringe when I listen to myself interviewing about all the stuff that I missed, because I wasn't really listening because I was trying to, you know, so, so everything that you're saying to me has, is reflects these very tangible benefits that I have, that I've learned on my effect on people when I do this and my effect on myself and my, in my own journey and, and how much of a better communicator I've become. So that's, that's, what's going on in my head. I'm just like, Oh my God, she's so right. And, and I could see how being trained as a hypnotist or what. When you as somebody that is trained as hypnotist, obviously you're learning this skill set and how to apply it. Does it also extend to the person being hypnotized?

Nicole Hernandez

I don't explain that for me,

Pablo Gonzalez

I guess. I guess what I'm saying is. Everything that you just said, right. Like understanding hypnosis to sell. Right. Which is going to be the title of this little piece of micro content, right. Like hypnosis to sell you know, everything that you're saying, right? Like that piece of that piece of like understanding how hypnosis can influence a better conversation is very clear to me how, as a hypnotist, you are able to learn and apply that stuff. Right. As the recipient of hypnosis therapy, if that's even a term. So I've noticed this calling, getting hypnotized, does one also start to learn that and implement that naturally through us Moses? Or, or is that just one of these things where like, you just gotta be more aware of like how this feels and people end up falling more in love with it, like you did? Yeah,

Nicole Hernandez

I think so. Because I have a client who was having a hard time being present with one of her family members and. So we worked on that for, you know, with it, and then she gets the opportunity to be heard. So she can now have the bandwidth to allow that space. She understands what it feels like. And so then she wants to give it as a gift if you under, if that makes sense.

Pablo Gonzalez

Totally makes sense. Right? Like yeah. Presence, once you, once you, I will never forget. And one of those conferences that I went to, I don't know if you know who Ryan Moran is, but he's just like guy in the, in the Amazon e-commerce space that has a big platform. And I met him at his conference and when it was like the end of his conference, right? Like three days, super stressful of like putting on an event, you know? And, and in between like the end of this conference and him going off to like talk to the VIP's that stuck around for his mastermind. And I got to talk to him and to do just stopped and listened to me. And made me feel seen and heard. And I was like, this dude is extraordinarily present. Right? Like this is, this is a gift I want to give people. So that's kind of where I went with that. I totally get it. Yeah.

Nicole Hernandez

And that, this is so powerful. This part of being heard is so powerful and it could be used for evil. Like it's a really can, so you have to be careful. I mean, like be with it and also be aware of what. The intent is on the other side, I guess I should say

Pablo Gonzalez

a hundred percent. Hi, there was somebody else I interviewed. That's like, man, when you are doing stuff, right, you are at your power and you're dangerous. Right? So like I get it. Cause I used to approach it from a very selfish standpoint. And I used to be like the Huck Finn that would get people to like paint my fence because I'm like making them feel cool. Right. So like

Nicole Hernandez

how do you do that? Let's

Pablo Gonzalez

talk, it's the same thing. Right? Like, listen, man, if you make somebody feel good, you can talk them into stuff. Right. Like it's a, it's a benefit that you give people and then therefore they become suggestible. Right? Like, so, you know, I never, I was never like a terrible person about it, but like, yeah, I get, you know, I get away with shit.

Nicole Hernandez

I love the honesty there. I get

Pablo Gonzalez

away with shit. I do. I do. So. All right. You ready for the lightning round? This was awesome. I really enjoyed this conversation. You ready for the lightning round? Yes. All right, let's go. what is your favorite restaurants? Where is it and what you order

Nicole Hernandez

ABC kitchen in New York city. What do I order? Oh, I always get the Mingo and ginger margarita and I love their mashed potatoes. They're so buttery and good. I mean, I get other stuff, but that is like the thing that I have to have.

Pablo Gonzalez

Awesome. I was really looking forward to a response on this. Cause you're in hospital and you live in New York city. I need you to give me some like great stuff. What content are you most into right now? Like be it, what book? What? Person's podcasts. You're listening to what Netflix and series does your you're obsessed with? Like what content are you most into?

Nicole Hernandez

That's informing. Yeah. Oh, I love Andrew Huberman. The Hebrew man lab podcast. He's a neuros. He's a neuro biologist and he's out of Stanford. And he is just so generous with his knowledge. And he's talking a lot about like stress and anxiety and I just love how he breaks it down. And he, like, if you, like, I love nerd. Like you talk nerdy to me because that's like such a turtle on to me. But like, if we can just talk nerdy, I'm like, love it. So I just like geek out on listening to him, you know, while I go for walks and I'm down until they down for that. So that's

Pablo Gonzalez

awesome. How do you spell Huberman? So if somebody can look that up,

Nicole Hernandez

H U B E R M a N

Pablo Gonzalez

O. Okay. So breezy you remain, right. What is something that you were sure about in your twenties that you no longer believe?

Nicole Hernandez

God, that one's really hard. What was I sure about in my twenties that I would have it figured out, but at the time it was 30,

Pablo Gonzalez

right?

Nicole Hernandez

No, like what a mess. I, I had so many like different thoughts at that point I used to really be about, Oh, let me make money. Let me wear the designer clothes. Like it was all about status and, and, and it was, it just took me off in such a different, you know, track it totally away from who I really am. But I was like, I see if I have this status that I will be here and I will be happy. And so status was equated with happiness. And I can tell you 100% after, you know, stepping into the status oriented life of like, you know, it's not that interesting. It's kind of boring. So getting back to who I really am in my roots even getting back to like my, my family and to being around them more has given me so much more joy. So that is what I know

Pablo Gonzalez

now. That's like every, you know, sometimes people answer this question in a certain, like there's two types of people that answer this question in like whatever specific pain point they figured out that's their overall realization in life. And then there's people that describe it as, yeah. That's what your twenties was. You know what I mean? Like the whole, like I thought I'd have to figure it out a third. I thought at 40 I'd be a grownup, like all these different things. Right. I know. Totally, totally. Okay. What is your favorite piece of advice that you've either received or like your go-to piece of advice that you love to give?

Nicole Hernandez

well, one of them is that nothing changes until you change. And I think that is so true in every level. Like your world doesn't change until you really decide to change. So that's one, I don't know. And I don't even know where I picked that up somewhere, but that I'd like to give that one. but the what of like, I heard somewhere and I have to keep reminding myself of this because things have really I find myself elevating quickly or you can call it manifesting. And so sometimes it makes me feel a little anxious when I had to step up into new spaces, but that was that the opportunity wouldn't exist unless the universe thought you were ready

Pablo Gonzalez

like

Nicole Hernandez

that. And so I really take that to heart. I'm like, I'm ready. The universe wouldn't have offered this to me. And that kind of keeps you from sabotaging when you look at it that way,

Pablo Gonzalez

Nicole, that is one I'm taking with me. That is really, really good. The opportunity wouldn't exist unless you thought you were ready. That's awesome. Before I ask you the last question, right? This is your stage. What I'm, I'm going to link to the traveling hypnotist.com. I'm going to link to your Instagram, the traveling hypnotist, you know, promote your podcast, promote your services, whatever, wherever you want. Our friend that has been hanging out with us here for, you know, a little bit under an hour, where do you, where do you want her, him to, to, to connect with you? Or what's the step that you would love for them to take? Or what do you want them to really think about right now?

Nicole Hernandez

Yeah, I just, well, first of all, I w I want them to think about what it is in their life, that they have been holding onto the, the expectation and to ask themselves if that really is real, or if they have some old system, alternate made up idea and concept of it. And if we could remove a bit of that, what would happen. So that's first. And then second, I would say, if you want, if this is like interesting to you, you want to know more, you want to work with me. There's a couple of ways. Just go to the traveling, hypnotists.com. I do virtual sessions with people from around the world. I mean, I've even worked with people that are in North Korea or sorry, South Korea on the, my, either like the opposite time zone of me. And I also do in-person sessions at the four seasons hotel in New York. So if you're coming to New York to visit, if you're in the New York, New Jersey area, Connecticut area, and you want to have a day at the spa, like that's the place sounds awesome to like, give yourself the massage, the hypnosis, like celebrate your birthday, like, you know, whatever you want to do. Oh, good.

Pablo Gonzalez

That's awesome, man, man, that's really cool. And the, the last question I ask everybody is where do you find community?

Nicole Hernandez

a lot of it is. Yeah, like on interestingly enough, it's on Instagram. I loved to dig into Instagram. I used to hate it, but I just found myself if I go into it very, just being really intuitive about it and being really connected. Like if I think somebody is interesting, I'll reach out to them and just say, Hey, like, I like your content or, you know, just have a normal conversation with people. Tell them something that you like about them and just let it be organic. Instead of like, I tried to get a follower, like cut that shit and just like meet people. There's so many interesting people that are up to such great things. And I think it's important for us to surround ourselves with that kind of network.

Pablo Gonzalez

Love it, man could not agree more. Nicole, this was awesome. I'm super, super happy that you reached out to me to give me the hypnosis session and then be on the podcast. Like we met February of 20, you know, room at right before the world fell apart. And and we've loosely kept in touch, but this is, you know, the third time that we like hop on a call and kind of get to know each other. And I'm just really, really grateful this happened. Cause it reminds me of how awesome you are and how much I want you to be a part of my life. And I want to be a part of your journey and this is great, man. Like I really, really appreciate you showing up and, and, and, and reframing hypnosis for people so that they know that they have a tool that they can, they can call on. If they're anxious, if they're trying to get over some trauma and all this stuff isn't working. And I think the work that you're doing of helping people kind of like integrate and embody is incredibly important right now, man. So I'm just honored that I can be a voice for that in any way. Thank you. Thank you so

Nicole Hernandez

much, Pablo.