Date Night at the Thirst Trap Factory: Featuring My Hellspawn Toddlers

In this episode , We humorously discusses the challenges couples face when frequenting places typically populated by single individuals, suggesting that it's a recipe for trouble. The conversation delves into the pitfalls of such outings and how they can lead to misunderstandings or awkward situations. 

Additionally, We share relatable anecdotes about parenting toddlers, pointing out their mischievous behaviors. Through funny stories and observations, the host finds comfort in knowing that misbehaving toddlers are a common experience, as reflected in popular Instagram reels. Overall, the episode balances light-hearted humor with relatable parenting experiences, making listeners feel reassured in their own struggles.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Gotta Get Said. Here's your host, Matt Cucko. What's happening, guys, and welcome to another episode of Gotta Get Said on this Tuesday, April 21st, 2026. How's everyone doing today? How have we been? Having fun? Everyone having a great week? How's everyone's weeks been? Good. It's a little cold up here in the northeast again, but it's alright. It's alright. We're not complaining. We're not complaining. It's okay. I promise we're not complaining. No snow, please. Please, no snow. The snow's gone. I think we can all agree on that. And that's good. That's good. But yeah, that's about it for me, other than the usual what have you's, if you will. Not an awful week, not a not the best week. It just is what it is. It is what it is week, you know? It is what it is. Hopefully you guys feel the same. But yeah, that's it for me. What do you guys want to talk about? What is there to talk about? What is there to talk about? What do you guys think has gotta get said, right? What do we think? You know, it got me thinking. It got me thinking. What what what certain people do that I feel like has gotta get said. One thing that always has stuck out to me, one thing that many people have disagreed with me on, one thing that I'm well aware that I was 50-50. Some people agree, some people don't agree. And for the people that don't agree, I genuinely don't understand where you're coming from. My whole thing is this if you're in a relationship and you're in a happy, even if you're not in a happy relationship, forget all that crap. If you're in a relationship, you should not go out to places that single people are. You shouldn't go to a single people hub. You shouldn't have to sit in line. You shouldn't have to pay covers. You shouldn't have to worry if your significant other male or female is getting hit on by the opposite sex at the establishment you're in. You shouldn't have to worry about places. Listen, being in a relationship, there's a lot of pros and there's a lot of cons. A ton. I'm not gonna pretend it's perfect 110% of the time because it's not. And I'm not gonna act naive and insult my audience by saying it is, because it's not, and we all know that. That's fine. But one of the things I think we can all agree with, one of the pros of being in a relationship is you don't have to go to these places anymore. You don't have to pay the covers, you don't have to wait in line, you don't have to watch your significant other get hit on by Bobby Buffing chops on the line to the bathroom. You don't have to worry about that. You don't have to maybe get into a physical altercation with somebody because they're talking to your girl in a certain way. You can stay far away from these places solely because you're in a relationship. And I watch these couples, tons of couples throughout my whole entire life, tons of them just disregard this. And they go to these places with their significant others, and I'm just like, why? I don't understand why. You can go to other establishments that have music, you can go to other establishments that have that vibe that you want that isn't flooded with single people, and I'm not blaming single people. In fact, I'm blaming us, I'm blaming the people in relationships because single people, you're in the right spot. You're supposed to be there, single people. That's exactly where you should be. You are in the correct spot that you are supposed to be in. It's us that's the problem. We're the issue, we're the problem at hand. And I blame us and solely us. And I watch these couples and they go out and they have these nights, and they're just like, yeah, no, it wasn't all scrapped up to be because this, this, and this happened. Like, yeah, you think? Of course, this, this, and this happened. That's what's supposed to happen there. What were you doing there? That's my question. What were you and your significant other going out past 10 o'clock for? You should be out at 7, dinner, movie, home by 10. And that's that's the rule. If you're with your significant other and you're out past midnight, that's insane to me. That's a problem to me. That's something that's on you. That's 110%, in my opinion, your fault. And you guys have to realize that. Like, you have to get past that. You have to realize that you shouldn't be out. And I know people listening to this right now, mostly females listen to this right now. I always get pushback when I when I do this spiel from females, and they're always like, no, it's still we just because we're in a relationship, it doesn't take our identity away. It kind of does. It kind of does. That's what being in a relationship is. If you want to go apple picking and you want to go pumpkin picking, and you want to take those photos, and you want to fucking go to the Pinot's palettes and paint a fucking picture and sip your wine, and you want to do those things that single people can't do, then you have to understand that there's places that you can't go into when you're in a relationship. You can't go to the DJs, you can't go to the happening clubs, you can't. It's just weird. It's just weird. I just don't approve of it at all. I'm sorry, I don't. I think it's weird. If you're in a relationship and you go to places like that, to me, you're just asking for trouble. There's no reason, nothing good can come from you being in those places. Nothing. You're just asking for trouble. Gotta get said. I'm sorry. I really am sorry. And I always get pushback. I always get, and even I'm gonna do you one better girls' night or guys' night out. If you're all in relationships, you don't need to be going to those establishments. You're just asking for trouble. And quite frankly, it's a little disrespectful to your significant other. And you can call me old school, and you can call me a get off your lawn, and you can say all these things about me, and that's totally fine, but I don't care because I know what it is, I know what it is. A group of single, a group of single ladies going to DJs, totally understandable. A group of ladies with significant others established years, some people even have children going to these establishments. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. It's inappropriate and it's just asking for trouble. Gotta get said, and you could say things, your rebuttal would be like, you don't trust the person. It's not even about that. Whether I trust the person or not, it's not even about that. I shouldn't have to worry about my significant other getting hit on, openly knowing for a fact they're gonna get hit on. That's not a fun feeling, that's not something I want to in experience. That's not something I want to dive into. I don't want to deal with that. Why would I want my significant other to go to a place knowing she's gonna get hit on? Whether I trust her or not. And she should feel the same about me. She shouldn't want me going to those places either. I'm sorry. Gotta get said. And I watch these couples my whole life. I watch these couples go to these places with each other. And I just look at them and I'm like, what are you guys doing? And the best is when they have bad news. Yeah, last night was a shit show, man. I got to a fight, some asshole was hitting on her, and I had he was being super disrespectful. No, the super disrespectful asshole that hit on her, that he's exactly where he's supposed to be. That's where they go. He's in his area. We all need assholes that hit on people in bathroom lines. We all need that. That's what keeps the world spinning. They're exactly where they're supposed to be. You're the problem. You two shouldn't be there. You two are in the wrong spot. He's exactly where he should be. Hitting on girls in line at DJs. That's his role. That's exactly where he should be. You're out of place. You should be at Chili's three hours ago. You should be in bed watching Love Island, eating Hagandaz, and instead you're in line at DJs. That's the problem. And don't give me the oh, it's no, you guys are no fun. You know, you there still has to be spark in the relationships. Fuck that. There's other ways to have relationship sparks and doing it appropriately and in the right environment. And these places, these clubs, this nightlife where single people run it as they should is not the correct spot. It is not the correct spot. You shouldn't be there, male or female. Go home, watch Love Island, eat Haganda's. Get out of the club. If you're a couple and you're in the club, get out. Move it. That's it. You know in the restaurant, when the restaurant closes and it turns into a nightclub, and the once the grill's off, you guys are out. Once the kitchen's close and they start lifting the chairs and the DJ equipment starts rolling in, that's when you guys head home. And you could call me not fun and you could call me old-fashioned. I don't care. Gotta get said. You watch these couples. We just wanted to dance. Yeah, go dance in your living room. Go dance in your living room. Ask Alexa to play a jam and go dance in your fucking living room. As a couple. In the club. What the fuck are you guys doing in the club? It's 12 o'clock on a Saturday. Of course something happened. Of course something bad happened. That's one of the few pros of being in a relationship. Use it. You don't have to go to these slum dog establishments anymore. You don't have to get hit on by Fabio. You don't have to deal with said skank somewhere. You guys can be past all that because you're in a relationship. Utilize it. Utilize the pros. Don't seek the cons because you're going to find them. You know what they say. You keep knocking on the devil's door, or one day he's going to answer. You keep going to these establishments in a relationship. I'm telling you, man, one day something bad's gonna happen. And it's probably gonna be sooner than later. It's probably gonna be sooner than later. I just feel like that's gotta get said. I'm sorry. I don't know. It was uh sticking in my crawl, you know? It was it was sticking, it was really sticking my crawl. But yeah, it gotta get said. Stay home. Stay home. And look, I I have kids. I get it. They're monsters. They're little terrors. They're little terrorist monsters. I know they're terrors. I know that. We all know they're terrors. Obviously. Obviously, we know that. But there's other ways, there's other outlets. There's other outlets. How's everyone doing with kids, right?

unknown 11:35

Kids.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Kids just don't stop. I want to put Fitbits on my children. And I want to see how many steps they go through a day. They don't stop. They don't stop. And I always think to myself, oh my god, it's definitely my kids. Like my kids are definitely the problem. And I always think that. I get like sad. I'm like, damn, my kids are crazy. These motherfuckers is crazy. And I always think that. And then I see, like, honestly, it's as crazy as it sounds. I see the Instagram memes. And I'm like, okay, I'm not the only one. Because they hit it every time. The Instagram memes are exactly what I'm going through at that very moment with my children. And I'm like, okay. Obviously, I can't be the only one because the people are making these and they're using their experiences to make funny videos. Thank God. Thank God. And they are funny, and I do laugh at them, but really, I love watching them because I'm like, all right, cool. My kids aren't the only lunatics. My kids aren't the only kids that scream, scream actual bloody murder if you pour your juice for them. My kids aren't the only kids that throw their food on the floor because it's a different shape pasta than the one they wanted. I see these memes and I'm like, okay, good. Because it's scary stuff. It's terrifying stuff. You're like, damn, is my is my kid a psycho? Because they are psychos, but apparently they're all psychos at this age. Apparently, from two to six, they're all psychos. I'm not even gonna do it to the two-year-olds. Apparently, from three to six, they're all psychos. Because my two-year-old's still cute, she still listens, she's cute. Good, go, go, go, you know. Ooh, when she's feisty, it's like, ooh, bossy. When my three-year-old, four-year-old's feisty, it's it's chaos. It's a remote through the TV. Because I said put the blanket down. It's a remote through the TV. It's chaos. These little kids are terrors. And then you hear like the people without kids giving their opinion. What you gotta do is you gotta, you know, you gotta set boundaries. Yeah, set boundaries. Okay. Yeah, okay. You you go set boundaries. Let me know how that works. You gotta follow through with the punishment. Yeah, that's fine. You know, I try to do it. Yeah, go on timeout. You're in timeout. You're in there the rest of the night. It's six o'clock at night. I can't leave him in there the rest of the night. I can't do that. I wish I could, but I can't. It's against the law. Can't put him down at six for the next three hours. He has to eat. He has to bathe. I can't do that. So when he calls my bluff, yeah, sometimes it works. Sometimes it works. I can't take him out of the car and let him walk away and get lost. Like I said, I would fear. Like I tried to scare him with. I can't actually do that. I can't actually pull the car over and let him out. You're gonna get arrested if you do this. Yeah. If he calls my bluff on that, I can't call the police on my child. They're not gonna lock him up for throwing his fruit snacks on the floor in my car. They're not gonna do it. I know that. We know that. But I still have to fear, I have to scare him into thinking that that's gonna happen. If he calls my bluff on that and says call the police, obviously I can't call the police. When he's bad and I'm pretending on the phone with Santa and telling Santa to put him on the naughty list, and he responds good, what do I do? What do I do? I put him in timeout. You're in timeout the rest of the night. It's 6 p.m. He's not he goes to bed at 8 30. He's obviously not gonna stay in there for the next two and a half hours bawling his eyes out. You gotta stick with it. Yeah, alright, stick with it. I have to do baths. I want to watch my shows tonight when these little shits go to bed. God forbid he falls asleep at 6 when I put him down. Now we're in real trouble. Now we're in real trouble. The whole fucking night's ruined for me, not for him. He gets a power nap. He's in a better situation than he was when he when he got into timeout. He's leaving a better man. But yeah, it's hard. It's hard having kids, man. They're fucking terrors. They are terrorists. Thank God for Instagram memes. Thank God for these Instagram memes telling me that we are not the only ones. Because it worries you for a sec. You start Googling weird shit. Is my three-year-old a future serial killer? Listen, I'm not saying that the lists that come out of that search are legit. But he's, you know, he's he's checking off some boxes, you know? It's a little scary. I'm well aware that it's all BS and that list really means nothing. But, you know, if there's a speck of truth in there, he's checking off some boxes. Terror. Check. Mood swings. Check. Tries to kill people when angry already. Check! You're like, you're like trying to lie? That was that one. Check. He's checking off boxes. And I know he's three. I get it. I get he's not gonna be a serial killer, right? But I'm gonna knock on wood. I'm not a monster. I'm not not gonna knock on wood. I know it's probably not gonna happen, obviously. But I'm gonna knock on wood. Because you never know. I know they come out of that when they're like five, six, seven, eight, and they start to become people in society. I know. But some don't. Some don't come out. Some don't make it out of the phase. And I want to believe he will. I really, I really do. I love him. I hope he comes out of it. I hope he comes out on the other side a better man. And he probably will. I know. I get it. I get him being extreme. But I'm gonna knock on wood. Just in case. Just in case. If you're willing to not knock on wood because you're so confident that your child isn't gonna become a psycho serial killer based on the way he or she acts right now, kudos to you. I'm not in that boat. Unfortunately for me, I'm gonna have to knock on wood. And I know he probably won't be a serial killer, obviously. Obviously, I'm aware that he's probably not gonna be a serial killer. Terrible threes, I get it. But I'm gonna knock on wood. I'm not at the luxury where I can't knock on wood. Good for you people that can. Good for you people that can. I'm gonna knock on wood just in case. Because these kids are terrors, man. These kids. These kids are gonna pull your hair out, man. No, I want it this way. I don't want pasta. All I want is pasta. You just said you didn't want it. Now that's all you want? Which way's up here? Which way's up? It's craziness. It's all craziness. It's scary stuff out here having kids. It's nothing to sneeze at. It's nothing to sneeze at. But yeah, so I get it. I get it. They are cool though, right? They love you. And when they're on, they're on. When kids are on, they're on. For that, like eight minutes out of the day, they're on. It's great. That's what keeps you in the game. That's what keeps you in the game. The eight minutes out of the day when they're on. And you're like, wow, I love them. That was cute. Good for them. We love them again. Great. I get it. I understand. I know the rules. But yeah. Having kids is tough. And when people without kids give you their little sh spiel, it's like you just look at them like, dude, shut the fuck up. Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. You have no children. You get to do whatever you want at any moment in life. You get to live. Why are you even standing next to me? If you have no children, what are you what are we even doing in the same place? What the hell are you doing here? I'm here because I have to. I'm here because it's against the law not to be here. What the fuck are you doing here? You're like choosing to be taken. Why are you a prisoner of war? You can leave. You're not a hostage. Why are you hanging out with the hostages? We have to be here. We have no choice but to be in line in Disney. We have no choice but to be getting kicked at at the Apple farm. We have no choice but to be a Chuck E. Cheese. What the hell are you doing here? You don't have children. Run! Get out. Get out. What are you doing here? You're here by choice? You chose to be here? Whoa. Whoa, you're Whoa. Now you're the problem, you know? Now I'm looking at you a little funny. I know why I'm here. I'm here because I have to be here. I'm here because I made choices and I have a family and now I have to be here legally. What the hell are you doing here? You're here because you want to be here? Not because you have to be here. Wow. Big Hershey Park fan, huh? See these people at these places. What the fuck are you doing here? Why are you here? Run! Run! You're crazy! We just love Disney! Go home! Go on a cruise or something. Go see the world. Get off the line of it's a small world and go see the real world. You don't have kids. Run! But no, kids are a joy. We love them. I love my kids. I love my family. I do. I do. I honestly do. But I'm also well aware that I made choices to have this situation. And I know people listening to this right now are like, wow, what a you know, it's something I wouldn't say, but you're thinking it, man, at least. You're thinking it. Of course you're thinking it. Even women. Please. I get it. We're reproducing, we're keeping our family legacy going, we're extending the name, we're doing what we're supposed to be doing as human beings. I understand, and I'm right on board with you. But come on. Come on. Can we all get on board and you know it kind of sucks? It kind of sucks. From three to six, it c from zero to six, it kind of sucks. Doing stuff kind of sucks. That's okay. We all do it. We all know. It's an unspoken rule, right? It's an unspoken code. Right? I get it's frowned upon to bring it up like I'm doing, but you know, it's a podcast. I'm having fun. But we all know that, right? I'm not the crazy one. We all know that. This sucks. We do this because we have to. It's our jobs. Right? Right? There's like no. There can't be people out there that like going out to dinner with three-year-olds. There can't be. There can't be people out there that like going out to dinner with three-year-olds. We do it because we want to go out to dinner and we just tag them along. We have to do it. We can't leave them home. We have to feed them. We like doing it. We bring them with us, but we know it sucks, right? That doesn't make me a bad guy, right? I know it's frowned upon to bring it up. Like I said, I get it. I get it's frowned upon to bring it up, but real quick, we us would be on the same page. We all know this sucks, right? No one's happy to be here, right? Right? There's no way I'm the only one. Maybe I'm the only one that brings it up so bluntly. But we all, right? I hope. Wait, am I the monster? You guys like going to dinner with three-year-olds? I can't believe that. I'm gonna choose not to believe that. I'm gonna choose not to believe that. Hope not. I hope I'm not the only one. Maybe. I don't know. But yeah, I don't know. We love our kids. We love our kids to sum up this episode. We love our children, we love being in relationships. We truly do. But if you're in a relationship, enjoy the pros. Don't wait in line. Don't pay a cover. Don't be surrounded by single sharks trying to ruin your relationship and ruin your night. Stay home. Enjoy it. You're with your loved one. And for those of us with kids, I know. We're gonna watch our kids graduate. We're gonna watch them become into young men and young women and put their footprint on this earth. And it's amazing. Keep the name going for a legacy, keeping the family bloodline literally going, and that's amazing. And we all love and respect that. Obviously. But we also know it sucks to go to dinner with them if they're under four. And I don't think that makes me a bad guy. I don't think that makes me a monster. I know there's a ton of good coming with having a family and kids. I know. Moments that I can never the reason you live are these moments. I get it. But I can also understand that going out to dinner with them when they're under four is an absolute nightmare. And never percent of the time is it fun. And for you to other say if you guys say otherwise, I'm not okay with that. I'm calling you a liar. Gotta get said. But alright, guys, that's it for me. Until next time, I will see you next Tuesday, same time, same place. And until then, have a great week. And I say I'm out of here. Peace.