After 35: Finding Love and Laughs in All the Wrong Places!

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the absolute circus that is dating after 35. If you thought the game was hard in your 20s, wait until you’re trying to vet potential partners who have chronic back pain, a mortgage, and a rigid bedtime. We’re breaking down why the apps feel like a digital dumpster fire and why "settling" starts to sound like a solid life plan.

Then, we pivot to a spicy take on charity: why handing a homeless person a lukewarm granola bar instead of a five-dollar bill is, quite frankly, a total jerk move. We’re dissecting the "kindness" we force on people who just need cash, and why your leftover sandwich isn't the life-changing gift you think it is. It’s a wild ride through the complexities of modern romance and the questionable ethics of our own "generosity." Buckle up—it gets awkward.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Gotta Get Said. Here's your host, Matt Cuco. What's happening, guys? And welcome to another episode of Gotta Get Said on this Wednesday, May the 27th, 2026. How's everyone doing? How was everyone's holiday weekend? I know in the Northeast the weather sucked. I know. Sucked for me as well. It sucked for me as well. You know, not to get too political because I'm not. Not to pretend I'm Mr. Armed Forces because I'm not. Either way, I'm indifferent, but I'm not, you know, crazy one way or the other. But I will say this. For those of the people, including myself, that were bummed out about the holiday weekend that was because the weather put a damper on things, quite literally. Let's not forget what the big picture of the holiday actually is. You know, it is for our fallen heroes, people that have died defending our country. So we can have freedoms to complain about the weather on a Saturday, complain about the weather on our day off on a Monday. So, you know, let's just keep that in perspective. You know, I was also very upset. I was super bummed out, but you know, there is a big picture. And for those listeners that have been affected negatively, and someone in their lives in any way, shape, or form, have given their paid the ultimate price, if you will. For the ones who've paid the ultimate price, over here at Gotta Get Said, we just thank you. And uh we hope you had a very nice memorial day. Alright, back to the show. Back to the show. Yeah, yeah, the weather sucked. I know. Sucked for me too. But there'll be more nice days. They're coming. They're coming. Everyone's talking about El Nino. El Nino, El Nino. I'll be honest with you. You guys know I'm very honest over here. It gotta get said with my fans, my listeners. You get it. Maybe a little too honest sometimes. And this time's no different. I don't know what the fuck El Nino is. I really don't. I don't know what El Nino is. I don't. I know I should know more about what El Nino is. I get the gist. I don't even get the gist. Could I be honest? I don't even get the gist. I think I thought for a second saying it that I got the gist, but hearing myself talk about it, I don't have the gist. I saw something pop up like it involves the equator, right? And um it brings bad weather or stronger storms, right? Honestly, that's a that's all I know.

unknown 2:46

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Pretty crazy. That's literally all I know about El Nino. I don't know much. I don't know much. I didn't think I was gonna be Googling this far in, this early in, if if you will. Let's figure it out. Let's see what it is together. El Nino 2026. Here it comes. We're gonna learn together. AI overview, my favorite overview. The 2026 El Nino event is rapidly developing in the equator Pacific, with climate models projecting a 62 chance of immerse between June and August, and a 97 to a 98% chance likelihood of prevailing through the winter. Forecasters warn that there is a notable one in three chance this could intensify into a stronger super El Nino by late. Could I be honest with you guys? I still don't have a clue. Reading that AI overview of El Nino, I still don't have a cue. I really don't. I really don't. I need more. I need more. El Nino, okay, here we go. An El Nino in 2026 refers to a strong, recurring climate phenomenon originating in the tropic Pacific Ocean. Scientists and meteorologists are forecasting an especially intense or super El Nino event characterizing by sea surface temperatures rising significantly and above normal averages. Okay, we're getting closer. We're getting closer. How El Nino works. Normally, steady trade winds blow warm water towards the Asia and towards Asia and Australia. Allowing I'm sorry, allowing cooler waters to well up against the American sort of El Nino. Okay, warm oceans, soak, okay. The massive release of heat in Pacific Ocean warms. Alright, I mean, whatever. I'm still kind of like whatever, if that makes any sense. Here's one I would like to know. When was the last El Nino? Like, does this happen all the time? When? Oh, right there. When was the last El Nino? The last El Nino occurred from spring 2023 to summer 2024. Okay. And it reached strong intensity during the winter and officially. Alright. So I don't give a fuck. Got it. So I don't really give a flying fuck about El Nino. Because in 2023 and 2024, I didn't like remember it affecting my life, to be honest with you. Alright, so it means absolutely nothing. Got it. At least we know now. You know what I mean? Like, at least myself over here at Gotta Gets Ed headquarters. At least I know. Don't be too worried about El Nino. Because I kept seeing news things. I was like, oh my god, El Nino, Super El Nino. When was the last time? Just for shits and giggles, when was the last time there was a Super El Nino? The last major Super El Nino term forecast in the Essentially Strong Events of the Pacific Ocean, Tempest Advances and blah blah blah occurred 2015 to 2016. Since 1950, only four Super El Nino events recorded. Okay. Okay. Now I'm a little scared again, if I'm being honest. Not scared of El Nino, a little concerned about a possible Super El Nino. You know? More often than not, El Nino is happening. 2023 to 2024. I don't recall in Jersey it affecting my life. But a super El Nino, there's only been four of those. To be fair, I don't necessarily super recall having a crazy 2015 to 2016 weather-wise. In in the art of being fair-minded, I don't know either way, but I don't recall one being too crazy. So maybe I'm not too worried. But the fact that there's only been four Super El Nino since 1950, you know, that's something to, you know, consider. That's something to put on my radar. Maybe be a little worried about the possibility of a Super El Nino happening. Other than that, it just feels like a regular El Nino happening in the state of New Jersey affecting a regular guy like myself. Not too crazy. It doesn't seem like it's too crazy, but our Super El Nino, which is possible, a little more worried about that. Even then, not insanely worried, because I don't recall, you know, I don't recall the it a 2015 to 2016 weather really affecting my day. I don't really recall that happening, but you know, only for since 1950. I can acknowledge that that's a rarity, and I can acknowledge that's nothing to sneeze at, and I could acknowledge that's something to pay attention to, and I will do just that. Keep you updated over here, it gotta get said. I'm a weatherman too. I'm a weatherman too. I'm a meteorologist over here at Gotta Get Said. But yeah, I've been seeing El Nino and I was a little worried, but I guess I'm not really too worried anymore now that I really looked into it with you guys on the fly. So I guess I'm not really too worried about El Nino. It's not really doing too much for me. I will say this over here at Gotta Get Said. I'm in a relationship at Gotta Get Said. As you guys know, most of you guys know I'm in a relationship. So talking about dating and talking about other things like that doesn't really, it's not my wheelhouse at the very moment, if you will. You know, that's fair. You talk about what's in your wheelhouse, that just so happens to not be in my wheelhouse at the moment. I talk about children, I talk about couples, I talk about stuff like that because that's my wheelhouse. It makes total sense. Why wouldn't I talk about that, right? But I will say this. In full disclosure, without using anyone's name, there happens to be a lot of people in my life, even my like friend of a friend, like girls' friends, friend, like there's people in my life, a lot of people in my life right now are becoming newly single. And I've been watching it go down from afar, from social media posts, from he said she said, from seeing the way these people operate during the quote unquote breakup, during coming becoming quote unquote single. And I will say I don't miss it. I don't miss being single from the age 30 on. Really 35 on, but 30 on is fair because from the outside looking in, I've been watching people become single, and you know, it gets very complicated. It's a very slippery slope watching people become single from 35 on. You know, there's so many factors that you have to consider at that point. 30, 35 on, God forbid you're married, that's a divorce. God forbid you gotta move, that's a house. God forbid you have kids, that's something. That's all something to consider. Very, very true. Something to consider. But I'm not even talking about that, like, which I can easily talk about that, because those are super big factors that suck and something you have to deal with, of course. But even just getting back out there, getting back out there at like an advanced age after being in such a long relationship, after having your identity mean something for so long, to have to erase that identity and get out there and then like try new things is very, very hard. And people listening to this that are dealing with this right now are probably disagreeing with me because there's two ways to re-identify yourself in the single dating world. There's two ways. There's one way where you were the victim your whole relationship. You were banned, you were beaten verbally, you were, you, you know, you were broken down, you were a shell of yourself, you were living this lie to keep the boat going, and it's gonna be a new year, new you. You're gonna shed off that old toxic skin, and you're gonna become a new person, and you're gonna find yourself and you're gonna reinvent yourself and you're gonna try new things and take a risk. And like, yes, that all sounds good, grand, and great. It really does. And you know, about five to ten percent of the time, that logic, that way to go into the dating world, that optimism, if you will, will do you justice. But more often than not, when the real world punches you in the face, when the reality of what actually is dating post-35, all the glitz and glamour that you built up in your head to have this confidence to become this new person. Now, when all the smoke clears and you're on that dating app and you're scrolling through the possibilities of options in your life, it becomes a little more realistic that it's not as glamorous as you built up in your head. Maybe that person has a couple of kids, maybe that person has a little bit of a checkered pass, maybe that person is a little bit toxic. There is a reason that these people are single, they're not all victims, they're not all in your boat, you know what I mean? Like, oh, I've been waiting. And sometimes they are, and you're that person genuinely, and they're that person genuinely, and maybe things can work out. I'm not saying that they never work out, that would be naive to say. Obviously, more often than not, people find new partners post 35 after being in a serious relationship. Of course, that happens, but I will say this for every grand great one, there does seem to be about seven to eight bad ones. It is tricky that you do have to operate through landmines that are the dating world because the fish out there post-35, you know, I'm not saying there's not good people out there because that would be a lie. That would be naive to say. I'm not saying that, but what I will say is you do have to tread a little lightly. And I feel like the people in the new year, new me boat don't necessarily tread lightly, and they kind of go in there with that blind optimism and they get fucked over a little bit. More often than not, this happens with females because if you're a guy with that blind optimism, you know, yes, you are getting fucked over and you're not finding your partner, but that usually translates to you had a lot of sex, and you can kind of, you know, rest your values on that, you know, like, yeah, I've been fucking a lot, you know what I mean? And you can say that and you can make yourself go to sleep and like, hey, at least you've been fucking a lot. Really, you're getting screwed as well. Really, you're getting the short end of the stick as well, but you can chalk it up to you've been having a lot of sex lately with random women. Sure. For women, it's a little more complicated because, yes, if you start having sex with random men more often than not, you know, you look at that a little different. You don't necessarily wear that as a badge of honor, you wear that as a way of like, wow, I've been getting fucked over left and right by these men who have been telling me lies and these men who have turned into pumpkins at midnight and aren't my Cinderellas. You know what I mean? They're not my knight in shining armor, they're not my Prince Charming. So I will say that I do watch people with the blind optimism, New Year, New Me, and I'm super happy for them. I truly am. But I do wish that sometimes they would tread a little lighter. I just wish they would tread a little lighter. So there's that person. There's two ways to go through a breakup post-35, in my opinion. There's that person, new year, new me. I'm ready to go. This is great. And then there's the I'm just gonna work on me person, and I'm gonna shell up, and I'm not gonna, you know, put myself out there. I'm gonna work on myself, and that's great too. Working on yourself is amazing. Everyone should work on themselves, including myself, more me than anybody. I think anyone should work on themselves. I really do. But it's also sad to see that too, because you do have to, you know, keep in mind, and I hate saying this because people are gonna listen to this and they're gonna think I'm being an asshole, but I'm just being truthful. Like, you know, keep if you have a if you if you're coming out of a breakup and you were married with kids, work on yourself. I get it. Take your time because what's out there is gonna be out there whether you're 35 or 45. It's gonna be pretty much the same thing. A little bit of a checker pass, has a history, maybe has a couple of kids. You guys are gonna figure it out. Maybe you live happier in thereafter, maybe you don't. That's gonna happen. That's not in a rush. If you're post-35 and you've never been married or have children, and that's what you want, you know, work on yourself because I genuinely think you should, but just also know that like no one talks about it, but like there kind of is a clock on you. And I hate to say that, and I hate to say rush to process because I'm not saying rush to process, I'm really not, but I am saying it would be foolish of you, you would be a naive person, you will be doing yourself disjustice, you will be doing yourself an ill service if you didn't know that there was a clock on your head. Because if you're 35 and you don't have kids and you genuinely want kids, work on yourself, but you also have to get out there because the clock's ticking. It just is what it is. To act like the clock isn't ticking is naive and silly, and you were doing yourself absolutely zero favors. You do have to keep in the back of your mind that the clock is ticking. So work on yourself, do all those things you need to do, workshop all those things with yourself to become a better person, to become a better sister, brother, aunt, cousin, uncle, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, whatever. Whatever you are, become a better version of that. Of course, work on yourself and be that 110%. But just know that there is a clock. There is a clock that you have to factor in. That's all I'm saying. You do have to factor that in, and it sucks. It genuinely sucks, and it's the worst thing ever. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news and talk shit about that, but it is the God's honest truth. It does suck, but you do have to factor it in. You do have to know that there is a clock if you really want to have children and settle down and have a family post-35. You have to do it, you have to understand that because if you don't and you work on yourself for five years, now you're 40. And like to go out there and be 40 and find a relationship that a person would doesn't have children that wants children post-40, good luck. Good luck. I would imagine that percentage of that person is very, very, very low. I would imagine that's a very low percentage of people out there post-40. But hopefully, you know, I would love to be proven wrong. I really would. But yeah, I've been seeing that. And breakups suck. Breakups suck. I don't care who you are, I don't care if you're the one that did the breaking up, I don't care if you're the one that got broken up with. Breakups suck, they just suck. And then post-35, they really suck. They really, really suck. And I've just been seeing a lot of people throughout my world in my realm, even like co-workers, sisters, cousins. I've been hearing stories, and I've just been seeing it a lot more, you know. Not even anyone personal in my life. I've just been seeing it, you know, hearing it through grapevines and like friend of friends of friends, and I'm like, oh wow, recently single, post 35. Tricky, interesting, interesting. And I've been like paying, keeping mental tabs of like watching them, and I'm like, okay, that's fair. That's fair. Dating's tricky. Dating's tricky. I don't envy you. I don't envy you. I wish you all good luck in that, in that world. And I'm, you know, who knows? Maybe I'll be in that world. That would be naive to think I'm gonna make it forever. You know, it happens. 50% of marriages end in divorce. You know what I mean? I'm not hoping that, but I I don't take you guys, I don't judge y'all because I know that I'm one sentence away from being in that exact same boat. So this podcast wasn't me judging you at all. I'm no better than any of you if you're if you're listening to this and you're like, well, I'm in that boat. Like, good, I get it. I could be in that boat tomorrow. You know what I mean? And I don't take that for granted. And I'm just I'm just saying, like, I'm aware of how hard it is to be in that boat, how literally challenging it is to be in that boat. And um, yeah, that's just my take on it. I've been seeing it a lot, and I just wanted to touch base on it, even though it doesn't affect my daily life because I'm not recently single, I do like observing it, and I do feel like it's gotta get said, and I do feel like it's a slippery slope, and I do feel like it's a very complicated game to play, personally. I do, I do. It's very fascinating to me. It's a very fascinating game to play, and there's a lot of different ways to play it, and they all mean a ton of different things, and yeah, that's that. That's what I wanted to say about that podcast. Not the funniest podcast in the world, because I was just, you know, it was just weighing on my mind. But you know, sometimes they're not all listen, they're not all home runs. And they're not all tens, you know. They're not all home runs, but that's okay. That's okay. At least we could talk about some stuff. At least we could talk about some stuff. Uh what else is there to talk about? We're rounding third over here, it gotta get said. What else is there to talk about? I will say this. Random thought. Such a random thought. Literally the most random thought. My friend, sorry, my friend, I'll never forget it. They told me, and they listened to this episode, and they're gonna know that I'm talking about them, and that's great. I'll never forget they told me that one day there was a homeless person where they worked. They worked in an office, and there was this like neighborhood homeless person that was always around, and you know, whatever, a staple in the neighborhood, if you will. And they used to always feel bad for this homeless person. They saw this guy every day, and whatever. One day, the coworkers and themselves decided to do a nice thing. This is true, it's a true story to do a nice thing for this homeless person. They decided they were gonna build a care package for this homeless person. They uh built them true story, man. They built them a basket. They got them beautiful blankets. They got him hand soaps. They got gift cards to restaurants, little snacks, a first aid kit, a lot of bottle of waters. Beautiful things. Truly beautiful, honorable, amazing things. These people made this care package for this homeless person who they didn't even know. This basket would literally go weeks into saving this guy for a long time. First aid, water, food, blankets. Where can you go wrong? You know what I mean? What a beautiful gesture. What a beautiful thing to give a complete stranger. Wow. God fearing people. Literally God-fearing people. That is amazing. So they were so excited. They put a bow on this basket. You know, they really took time out of their day and made this beautiful basket. So they all decided to walk down. That's a true story. They all decided to walk down proud. Proud of this basket. As they should be. They should be proud of this basket. They walk down to this homeless person in the street. They come out of their office holding this basket proud. Head held high, shoulders back, chin in the air, proud. Walking the path of the Lord, truly. They're like, sir, he turns around. God bless. We just wanted to give you this basket. I hope it helps out. The guy's like, oh, thank you so much. This man looks at this basket. Thank you so much. You're welcome, sir. Don't worry. No need to thank us. Have a blessed day. They turn, chin nut, chin in the air, head held high, walking back into their job. They truly did their deed for the day. They truly did a great thing. These people left proud as they should. There's no reason they shouldn't feel proud. And they just hear yelling. That the fucking mother They turn around. This man is taking their basket and he's throwing the items back at them. A fucking towel. Blanket? What the fuck is this? What? Water? Keep your fucking water, your cheapskakes. Where's the fucking money? The basket gets destroyed. The people, their faces sink with horror. This man is ripping the basket, shredding it, throwing it all over the streets, water bottles exploding, hitting cars, stepping on the bag of chips, shh. Crunchy homemade fucking popcorn dipped in chocolate. Crunched, thrown. They got debris coming on them. Get inside! Get inside they run inside chasing after them. You chape fucking motherfuckers. Shut the door Basket, they watch him from the window like they always do. Basket shredded everywhere on the street. Cars are honking. Debris causing traffic. Homemade little trinkets being splattered, chewed and spit in the air by this man. Basket destroyed made a mockery of. The people are horrified, horrified watching from their window in their office. Oh my god, what did we do to offend him? What how could he? He looks at them up at the window. Jeep motherfuckers throwing shit all over the place. Basket destroyed. Destroyed. That four dollar bow they belt bought at Pottery Barn.

unknown 26:24

Motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Ripped to shreds there in the window. Oh my god, the basket! I love that bow. And it got me to think. True story, by the way. But it got me to thinking. If you're gonna give to a homeless person, just cut the shit and give them money. You know? I heard that story firsthand. That's a true story. True fucking story, what I just told you. No BS. True story. I heard that story and I was like, wow, that's insane. But in my head, I was like, meh, give the guy a $20 bill. Yeah, he's gonna buy crack with it. But you know what? Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit? If you're gonna do it, just fucking do it. Don't give the guy a fucking basket of trinkets. The guy's a crackhead. He's a homeless crackhead. And that's terrible to say, and I don't mean to be rude, but it's a god's fucking honest truth, and it's gotta get said. This guy wants crack. This guy wants drugs. He doesn't need hand soap. He doesn't need hand sanitizer. He needs cold cash to buy drugs with. So if you want to ignore him the whole time because you know that's where the money's going and not give him anything, by all means do so. But if you choose to do the right thing and help this person, you better come with cold hard cash because this guy's a crackhead, and that's what he wants. He wants to take your money, he wants to say thank you, and he wants to go score some drugs with it down the block. And you know what? If you want to do the right thing, give him cash or give him nothing at all. Gotta get said. Gotta get said. I know you people are listening to that. You're a monster. How could you say ah, boo hoo? Give the guy fucking money. You're buying this $80 basket. Give him $40 cash. You win, he wins. You feel good about yourself, he gets high. It's a win-win. Get off your pedestal with your hand soaps and your homemade bread. You think this crack kid on the street wants your fucking homemade bread? You think this guy gives a flying fuck about your sourdough? He doesn't. And if you want to blame me and if you want to call me the monster, by all means go ahead. I'll be that passageway. But it's the God's honest truth and it's gotta get said. If you're gonna do it, do it. Give the crackhead cash or give him nothing at all. He does not want your sourdough. And if you're like, you're an asshole, you're all right, great. By all means, give him your sourdough and watch him shred it and throw it in the air and spit it quite literally back at your face. Because you know what? Some things, once in a while, once and for all, gotta get said. That's it for me. I'm out of here. Until next week.