Life Update: Roman's birth story & my postpartum experience so far...

In this special episode of the podcast, I share my labor story and how Roman came into the world, my postpartum experience so far, and a few pieces of advice that I wish someone had shared with me prior to giving birth.

A couple of notes:

+ my birth story is traumatic, that does not mean yours will be. I hope yours is absolutely beautiful. I'm sharing mine because some of you have asked and I want to be transparent.

+ no matter your birth experience, the end result is worth it. My son is the light of my life and I would do it all again.

+ I'll be sharing on Instagram some products that have made the first month postpartum easier on me and Roman, so check that out if you are on the hunt.

PRODUCTS MENTIONED...

RITUAL VITAMINS:

Ritual.com and use code: JACLYNSTEELE for 10% off your first 3 months

RYZE SUPERFOOD MUSHROOM COFFEE:

https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com  and use Code: JACLYN at checkout for 15% off

CONNECT WITH JACLYN:

+ Website: jaclynsteele.com

+ Instagram: @jaclynsteele

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+ Facebook: jaclynsteeleinternational

+ Clubhouse: @jaclynsteele

+ Sign up for THE SCOOP & get the skinny on the latest wellness, beauty, & self development trends, as well as exclusive email-only content.

TEXT ME:

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Light, Love, & Peace,

Jaclyn Steele

Transcript

Jaclyn Steele: 0:00

Hi, I am Jaclyn Steele and welcome to self discovery. Howard Thurman so beautifully wrote, don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive, coming alive. That my friends is what self discovery is all where that man alright friends, welcome to today's episode of self discovery again soon to be self worth with Jaclyn Steele, this is episode 108. And this episode is a little bit of a deviation from the content that I usually do this as a life update. So I had a baby. His name is Roman Wilder Steele Thurmond. And today I wanted to share with some of you have been asking me about my birth story and my postpartum experience thus far. So that's what today's content is going to be about. I'm in a little bit of a time crunch, my in laws are here, and we're going to go to Sedona today and bring the baby it's going to be his first trip to one of my favorite places in the world. And so, I want to be detailed in this but not so detailed that I get bogged down in details, if that makes sense. I'm kind of thinking out loud right now, before I dive into my story, though, I do want to say if you haven't signed up for Sacred rebel affirmations, that's my text message group, where I send out a couple of encouraging texts throughout the week to help you think about your own self worth and elevating it, you can sign up for that in the show notes below, the number is down there. It's a completely free service, I do not spam you. Second thing, please leave a review for this podcast, it makes such a giant difference. I read every single one. And as far as podcast algorithms go, the more reviews we have, the more five star reviews we have, the more this podcast gets out into the world. So share it with your friends leave a review, it makes such a giant difference. And third piece of business is if you haven't signed up for my email list, called the scoop, do it that's also in the show notes below. But I share all kinds of encouraging things, books that I feel like are amazing podcasts that I feel like are amazing beyond my own. And then high vibe products that I can get you discounts for so if you see on Instagram, or here in this podcast, different products that I have fallen in love with. All of those are also in the email list. So it's easy to click on and purchase and get a nice little discount. Okay, so I am going to do my best to tell this birth story in a chronological way. Before I begin, I want to do a little trigger warning and say my birth story was is not an easy one. I know before I got pregnant and gave birth, the whole birth story birth experience of just the idea of it was so terrifying for me. So if you want to click off this episode, I completely understand. In addition, I want to say my birth story is not anyone else's birth story. So in no way shape or form, does my experience mean that you will have a similar experience at all. If you are somebody who wants to get pregnant and give birth, I don't want any of this to deter you. And spoiler alert, I will say even though my birth was difficult, I would do it again. Because the end result is so just beyond worth it. But as you guys know, I am committed in this podcast to being so honest and forthright. Because I feel like when we share our authentic experiences, it creates connection. And we need connection now in this world more than ever. So that's my trigger warning. My birth experience isn't yours. Yours could be just absolutely heavenly. And I hope that it is today's episode of self discovery with Jaclyn Steele is supported by ritual ritual creates in In my opinion, the best vitamins on the planet. They're traceable, meaning every ingredient is transparently traceable to where it was grown and harvested. They're non GMO, third party tested vegan, and they contain no artificial flavors or synthetic fillers. So guys, did you know that a lot of over the counter vitamins have fillers and synthetic dyes like dyes that make your urine yellow so you think the vitamin is actually working? When I found this out, I literally wanted to vom. Anyway, back to the awesomeness of ritual that doesn't do that to you. They have multivitamins for women, including prenatal and postnatal multivitamins for men and a multi for children. Every ad in this podcast is hand chosen by me, every single one. I reach out to these companies personally based on my experience with their products with ritual, that is the Absolute Truth as well. I have been taking their vitamins for about three years. And prior to finding ritual, I tried many multivitamins, all of which, and I don't know those of you can relate to me here, but I know there are some of you, but all of which made me nauseous and sometimes vomit, especially if I didn't take them with food. Ritual is literally literally guys, the only vitamin I have ever been able to take on an empty stomach, and then not vomited. afterwards. I have no nausea, no ill symptoms whatsoever, even after taking it on an empty stomach. In addition, I can speak to their efficacy. Since being diagnosed with Hashimotos. I've had numerous blood tests. And normally, people in my position have low vitamin B 12. And my blood tests have shown that my B 12. Levels are healthy, yay. My husband also takes the men's Malti, we have been so happy with ritual, especially since the emergence of COVID. Our health is a priority and such an immense gift all the time, but especially during this time for 10% off your first three months, go to ritual comm or click the link below and use code, Jaclyn Steele again 10% off your first three months, go to ritual calm and use the code, Jaclyn Steele, all one word, and have your amazing ritual vitamins delivered right to your door. All the details and links are in the show notes below. Mine starts in January with COVID. That's right, I got COVID. And I think I got the Omicron Omicron Omicron Omicron very variant because it was like a nasty cold, but not so nasty that I needed to go to the hospital or anything like that. The baby was fine. I did a stress test to make sure that he was okay. And he was but during that week, it was the last half of January. I had it for about 10 days I wasn't you know, I didn't take any medication or ivermectin or any of the the protocols because I was pregnant. So I was laid out and it was uncomfortable, but it wasn't unbearable. And toward the end of my time with COVID, I started experiencing this intense itching in my hands and my feet like nothing I have ever experienced. Like imagine a mosquito bite times a million. It was an real and it was keeping me up all night. And after about three nights, I started searching the internet, which is also a little bit dangerous. But I started searching the internet and was trying to figure out is this COVID related what on earth is going on that is causing this wild, intense itching? And Sam and I called the doctor, my OB GYN and they said you know what, why don't you come into triage we'll do a couple of tests. It sounds like it might be a condition called coli stasis. And coli stasis is not COVID related. What happens is it's pregnancy related and it has to do with your liver not being able to flush out the bile in your system fast enough. And so it causes this itching that again is so it is like torture torture so it keeps you up all night keeps you up during the day. And it just will not go away. I was taking baths I was putting on sounds I was trying everything in my power to get it to stop and it just wouldn't stop. So we went into triage on Sunday, which was January 30, or 31st. And the doctor said, look, the baby's heart rate sounds great, but you are two weeks away from your due date. And you have a choice here, you can try and live with this for the next couple of weeks. But if anything, were to turn and your liver function went down, or whatever, it could jeopardize the baby's health, or we can induce you and get this birth going, which would be my recommendation, because the baby is in a great position right now. he's healthy, he's big enough. And there's no danger to him. But if Callie stasis did take a turn, it could pose a danger to him. And Sam and I looked at each other, and we were like, there is nothing that would make it worth putting him in danger. So let's get this party on the road. And so we went in thinking I was going to get some kind of checkup. And then, you know, go back to business as normal. But before I went in, I had this kind of check in my spirit that thought, You know what, I think he's coming. I think this is the time. And so we are getting all hooked up in the hospital room getting ready to go. And they come in, and they start asking us about COVID. And I was very transparent. And I said, you know, I did just have COVID. And then they left the room. And they were so kind. And so understanding they were not like shaming me in any way. But they came back in and they said, here's the deal. If your husband, who Sam had COVID as well and had it before me and tested negative. Before we went into the hospital, we did an at home test, and he had tested negative, but they said, if for any reason he tests positive right now, he can't be in the birth room with you. So what we are going to suggest is you wait two more days. So a Sunday, come back in on Tuesday, because then you will have reached the 10 day point. And we don't even have to test you. And he can be in the birth room with you no matter what. And we don't have to even risk that option. And so Sam and I looked at each other and I just thought I can't give birth to this sweet baby, why not have my husband there with me. And so we were getting all hooked up, ready to go. Then turn of events, went home and waited two more days. So if you follow me online, I documented that experience on Instagram. And shared a little bit about that. So we went in on Tuesday at 8pm. I started being induced at around 9pm and inductions take longer. However, before they started the induction medicine, they started tracking my contractions and I was contracting before they induced me so that baby was coming no matter what. And throughout the night, it was okay I started to my contractions started to become a little bit stronger. But you know, every hour I was getting up, I was walking around, I was doing squats. I was trying to prepare my body to give birth the natural way. And by natural I don't mean without any assistance. As far as an epidural epidural goes, but I didn't have an epidural until like noon the next day. So the night was okay. You know, it's just such a surreal experience to be hooked up on IVs in a room with things beeping and, you know, we're excited but we're tired. It's the middle of the night and in the morning they came in to check on me and they were checking on me throughout the night too. But the morning they came in to check on me and I just was not dilating. And so they increased my medication which made my contractions more severe. And they broke my water, which was a wild experience too. And then around noon, my contractions started getting really really intense. You know, the kind that you really have to like, breathe, breathe through and let go. Um, for those of you who have given birth, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For those of you who haven't, it is an intense Pain. But I will say this, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Now again, I still interrupted my contractions with an epidural. But I allowed them to go from like 9pm until noon the next day. So I did experience them. At around noon, they came in gave me an epidural, I started going numb from the waist down, which is what an epidural does. And you can still feel pressure when a contraction comes. But it's not nearly as intense or painful. So you can't eat once you've had the epidural. And that morning, I was feeling just kind of sick and not wanting to eat. So I didn't eat from like midnight, until after I gave birth. So that's a thing to note. Because as you are physically laboring and become more and more tired and you haven't eaten, it becomes harder and harder and harder to just function. So that's the afternoon, the doctor comes in checks on me a few hours later, I've only dilated four centimeters, which you're supposed to get to 10 before you can start pushing. And the doctor leaves in the afternoon, the nurses keep coming and checking on me. Hours go by hours, hours, and I'm still only four centimeters, then they start increasing the Pitocin, which is supposed to speed up labor. And I'm still not dilating. I go from like four to six in like five hours. So as evening rolls around, a nurse comes in, and she's so wonderful, she starts advocating for me and saying, Hey, we need to contact the doctor and get get the past to give you more Pitocin to speed this up, because you've now been in the labor process for almost 24 hours. And it's just not progressing fast enough, the baby's heart rate is great, but we don't want to be messing with that too much. And there's a balance because if you give too much Pitocin, it could make the baby uncomfortable too. But if you don't have enough Pitocin, then you know I'm going to be laboring for days. And so she contacted the doctor, it was odd you guys, the doctor was not there. And that is one part of my birth story that I'm trying to reconcile. And then I'm going to talk with the clinic about when I go in for my six six week, checkup, but the doctor was not there. So you know, 7pm rolls around, they give me more Pitocin 9pm. I'm dilating a little bit more, but not really enough more Pitocin then midnight rolls around. And I was so bummed because I wanted him to be born on to 222. And he could have been, which I'll get to in a little bit, but he wasn't. And we midnight rolls around, they have given me more Pitocin and I'm at around the 10 centimeter point, which means I can start pushing, you have to get to 10 centimeters dilated before you can start pushing or there's great risk for tearing, etc. And we start the pushing process, which anyone who has given birth knows that's not comfortable, and it's exhausting. And at that point I hadn't eaten in 24 hours. And the nurses in there with me, it's just one nurse, the doctor is not present, which I still am trying to wrap my head around. And I push for 40 minutes. And you go in stages. So when you have a contraction, they go, Okay, push for 10 seconds, breathe for 10 seconds, push for 10 seconds, breathe for 10 seconds, push for 10 seconds, breathe for 10 seconds, and you're supposed to go with the contraction. So your body naturally pushes out the baby and he just would not come out. And around one o'clock, the nurse looked at me and she said, You know this is the point where you've been in labor all this time. And I know you're exhausted and you can try to keep pushing, but there's just no progress being made. You know, if he were like getting a little farther every time it would make sense to keep going but I think you should seriously consider a C section. And at this point, I'm so exhausted and delirious and tired. I looked at my husband and I just said, I don't even know that I have the wherewithal to make a decision. At this point, I had thought I was going to give birth vaginally, I didn't really even consider a C section, Sam, I need you to make this decision for me because I feel like I can't, I can't, I don't have the mental capacity to make this decision. I'm just so tired. And Sam said, I think we should go for the C section because you're just not progressing and I don't want you suffering anymore. And then, this is the part that was really traumatic for me. There was one nurse in there with me while I was pushing. And then after we decided to do the C section, they came in and said, Okay, it'll be an hour and a half before everybody gets here in order to perform the C section. And the reason that bothered me so much is because I'd already been in labor over 24 hours, and then I have to wait another hour and a half, not just to have the C section. But just for the team to get there. I couldn't believe that there weren't doctors and people ready to go in the hospital. So I've been laboring over 24 hours. At that point, I think it was 32 hours. And then we're waiting another hour and a half just for the team to get there. I was so delirious that when they finally got in and they started giving me more pain medication to take me into the surgery room for the C section. I was like, I have no idea what's going on. It was. And again, this is the trigger warning part. It was terrifying, because I was so out of it and so exhausted, and had been so uncomfortable for so long, I just was not mentally capable of processing what was happening to me. And so they wheeled me into the C section room. Sam comes into anybody who's had a C section knows they put up a sheet and then they strap your arms down. And then they cut you open and start the process. But what really bothered me was nobody was saying what was going on, there wasn't a play by play. So if, by chance you are a woman who's going to have a C section, I would highly recommend that if you want this, you ask them to say hey, here's what we're doing now. Now we're going to do this now we're going to do this, but they didn't say anything to me. And then they were playing super loud pop music, which when I was pushing, I was playing meditation, music and really soft, calm, relaxing music. I had a diffuser going with frankincense and lavender, and I was trying to bring my baby into the calmest environment possible. And so it was super triggering for me to have this loud. Like I love Beyonce. But I didn't want Beyonce to be playing while I was giving birth. So this loud music, they're cutting me open, they take out your organs in order to get to your uterus. And I'm wondering, like, is everything okay? What's happening? Why isn't anybody saying anything? Is he okay? And then all of a sudden, they didn't even say what was happening, but all of a sudden, I feel all this pressure on my abdomen, and they pull the baby out. And it was like I was hanging on a thread just waiting for him to cry. And then I heard him cry. And I immediately felt such a sense of relief that he was out and that he was alive and that he was okay. But then at that point, also, I was like, I'm so exhausted, that I don't even know how to connect this moment. And I don't want to associate my baby's birth with trauma. So I was trying to remain calm. But also when you have a C section, you can't hold your baby. They come show you your baby, but you can't hold your baby because you're strapped down and then they have to put you back together which is another 40 minutes or so. And so I'm laying there. They're weighing him they're doing you know, the checks that they do on a newborn they had Sam cut the umbilical cord which I wanted to Be a part of all of that I wanted him to be able to lay on me for a minute still attached. That was not an option with a C section. And then they said, he's having a little trouble breathing, we may have to take him to the NICU. And as they were saying that, again, I was cognizant of it, but I was so just in another world. And when you've had that much Pitocin, and that much pain medication, you also start to shake violently. And so my whole body was shaking, and I was cold, just trying to figure out what was going on. And it turned out that he was having a little trouble breathing. But as they waited a couple of minutes, he was able to breathe just fine. on his own. I think it was more like a trauma response, like I was just pulled from my mom into this freezing cold environment. And the umbilical cord was cut. And it was just, it was a lot of movement and not the way that I wanted him to be brought in Super calmly and meditatively. And as they're sewing me up again, they're not telling me anything. So I'm like, Am I okay? Am I gonna live like what is happening? They finish, they don't say anything. And then they will me into another room. And the nurse who was there when I was pushing was in there with me. And that was the moment where I was able to hold my baby for the first time. And they laid him on my chest. And again, I was like, This is so traumatic, because my body is still shaking violently. And I shook I think for three hours after the surgery, you just can't help it, your body is like it's like a trauma response combined with the pain medication. And it's wild. But they put him on me. And in my mind, I was thinking I don't want him to associate his first experience being held on my chest with me, shaking violently, and not being super calm and present. But they were a little worried about his heart rate. And then they placed him on my chest. And his heart rate calmed. And it was just such a precious connective moment where it was like we were back, we were back together. And it's so incredible the power of a mother's love and the power of connection between you and your child. So much so that it can regulate your baby's heartbeat. And so that was a beautiful, beautiful moment. And I was able to nurse him for the first time. And he was just so precious, it was so cool to be able to see his face. And then they let Sam hold him. And this is a moment I will never forget, I'm so glad I was able to see it. I was still shaking, but I was able to turn my head and they placed him in Sam's arms. And he opened his eyes for the first time and he smiled in SAM just melted and started tearing up and crying. And that was the moment in which I thought, Okay, this was not how we wanted to bring him into the world, but it's going to be okay. And we are going to be okay. And after that, then you go into like a post delivery. Sweet. And we were there for a couple of days with nurses checking on us and making sure that my C section incision was staying closed and that, you know, they push on your stomach every few hours to to make sure that your uterus is doing what it's supposed to and flushing everything out and your uterus is contracting and shrinking. And those couple of days in the hospital were difficult because like every time you fall asleep or sit down to have a meal and nurses coming in or a doctor is coming in or somebody is coming in to do something, but it was so nice to have that support and not worry about the dogs or taking care of laundry or anything else. We were able to bond with him and just stare at him and be a little family in our own bubble. Then we got home we introduced him to the dogs and the dogs have been surprisingly great with him. And that that is my birth story and as much as I have processed So far, I have an appointment. This is full transparency, I have an appointment with my acupuncturist, therapist guru, this coming Tuesday to process some of it because I am such a firm believer that we hold trauma in our bodies, and I want to move it out. I don't want to carry that trauma, if I want to have another child, I don't want to be holding on to that fear. So I'm going to do some work around processing that. And then also as Roman gets older, I am going to be cognizant and aware of whether or not that traumatic entry into the world has lodged in him somehow, or affected his precious psyche. And so I'm very, I want to be very attentive to how all of this plays out. You know, with birth everybody says like, you can create a birth plan but be prepared for it not to not go according to plan. And I went into the hospital going okay, I you know, I'm open to whatever happens, but I never thought in a million years, I would labor for 32 hours and then have a C section. So I would be healing from both a vaginal birth and a C section. I just didn't even know that that was a possibility. So I'm doing some healing work around that this episode is supported by rise superfood mushroom coffee. Loaded with adaptogenic mushrooms rise coffee blend delivers calmer energy, sharper focus and immune support for a balanced body and clear mind. The taste is smooth, creamy and earthy, all with less than half the caffeine of normal coffee, so you don't get the jitters or that inevitable post caffeine high crash. It has Cortis apps for stamina and increased oxygenation Lion's Mane for focus, concentration and neuron growth received for stress and restful sleep, Turkey Tail for gut health, chronic fatigue and cancer fighting properties. Should talky for immunity and bone density, King trumpet for inflammation, antioxidants and heart attack and stroke fighting properties. Yes, yes, yes, I have been drinking this coffee personally. Now for months. I mix it into my regular coffee for a superfood boost. And then I add my collagen powder and a little creamer or I drink it on its own for a little bit of extra energy when I need it. This is what I call a conscious company. And one that genuinely cares about its customers head on over to rise superfoods.com that spelled RYZESUPRFOD s.com to grab a bag now and enter code Jacqueline JC li n at checkout for 15% off. Now back to the episode. Now I want to talk about postpartum because some people have been interested in that as well. And I have been taking little videos every week of my body changing and I'm going to make a reel of that and share it on Instagram. So if you're not following me on Instagram and you are interested in that, at Jaclyn Steele that link is also in the show notes. For those of you who have experienced postpartum you know it can be overwhelming. There are a lot of emotions that accompany it because your hormones are adjusting from being pregnant and creating life to now breastfeeding and going back to their normal levels pre pregnancy. You're also adjusting to a lack of sleep and a sweet little being needing you all of the time. And I will say I am extremely fortunate and privileged in that. I have a husband who is so supportive and so involved. We both work from home. So we have split duties on everything. We both get up during the night when he needs to eat and have his diaper changed. And those first few days after my C section because I was fairly immobile. My husband changed every single diaper and so I have an immense amount of support. And that has made in my opinion, all the difference. It has made my healing go faster, it has made my mental state so much more stable. Because I feel so supported. And so that has made just the biggest difference truly the biggest difference. I do want to talk body love, because our society there is this silent, but at the forefront pressure for us to bounce back, and to have bodies that look like they did pre pregnancy after a week after giving birth. I remember years ago, Heidi Clune, the model Heidi clim reading in a magazine, how she got her pre baby body back in like 14 days or something, she was preparing for a photoshoot. And in my mind, I was like, okay, so you have 14 days after you give birth to amazing how our minds catalogue this information. But what I want to say is that we don't need to bounce back in five days, 10 days, two weeks, two months, six months, eight months a year, we need to allow our bodies to be nourished, and in my opinion, give our bodies more love than we ever have. Because our bodies just created an absolute miracle. And so my approach, there have been moments where I've been frustrated, like, oh, is this going to go back to how it was or how big is my C section scar going to be? Am I going to be able to wear a bikini again, you know, those very physical things that women think about. But more importantly, and more prominent has been my desire and my commitment to loving my body. So watching my stomach change over the last month, I just keep saying thank you, and placing a hand on it, I have my hand on it right now. Thank you for creating the greatest gift I have ever received in my life. And if you don't go back to just the way you were before, that's okay, because now I have the most incredible son. And I'm so grateful that he's here and he's healthy. And you allowed that same with my breasts as they've gotten bigger and changed with, you know, breastfeeding, which I'll get to in a second to like, thank you for what you're doing and nourishing my son. Thank you legs, thank you thighs, thank you feet, thank you, Hans everything, for allowing me to bring this miracle into the world. And so for those of you who are worried about postpartum, or who are postpartum, or who have been postpartum, trying to get our bodies back, like, yes, let's nourish ourselves. Yes, let's eat healthy food and incorporate movement that we love into our routine. Once we've been cleared by the doctor, which for me, it's six weeks, I'm not quite there yet. I can take walks, but I can't do anything else. Let's take care of ourselves. But let's also be super patient and kind and loving. You know, it took over nine months to bring a baby into the world, we can't expect our bodies to bounce back after a few days. So that's what I want to say about body love. And then I want to talk just super quickly about breastfeeding. I am choosing to breastfeed however, total transparency, my supply is not keeping up with my baby's demand. So I've seen and I don't need a bunch of comments or a bunch of judgment about this. The reason I'm sharing it is because I want to create a judgment free zone for women who struggle with this. But I've seen a lactation specialist. I've also spoken with a lactation specialist, two of them. I am taking supplements, and I'm taking fenugreek but when you have a C section, it generally takes a little longer for your milk to come in. Also, I'm 35 years old, so I'm a little bit older as far as giving birth goes according to the textbooks. And so sometimes that can affect your milk flow. And then you know, some women just produce more than others. And so, I was really upset about this at first and having to supplement with formula. But now I'm coming to peace with it. You know, I'm doing what I can on my end to increase my supply. And so he's getting breast milk every single day but supplementing with formula is not the end of the world. And it allows him to be full and comfortable and to sleep better. And he's healthy. He's had multiple trips to the pediatrician already, which is totally normal for new babies. And he's growing, his weight is increasing. And I am not pulling my hair out, you know, with a hungry colicky baby, because my breast milk hasn't caught up to the demand. So I'm giving myself a lot of grace around this. I'm doing what I can on my end, but I'm also trying not to sweat it too much. Of course, I want to be able to provide him with everything he needs just totally naturally. But at this point, the amount of stress that that would cause on my already stressed body after having a major abdominal surgery and almost a vaginal birth, I just, it's not the stress of trying to do more, make my body do more and more and more versus allowing him to nurse and get what he can or meet a pump and give him what I can. And then supplementing with formula, it just is not worth it to me to stress him out or stress me out and get rid of the formula altogether. So I did my formula research, I'm giving him an organic, super high quality formula that I feel good about. And that's the decision I made. And I'm sticking with it right now. And it's decreased the amount of stress that I'm carrying, which is great because my body is still recovering. And it's going to be a while longer before I'm fully recovered. So that is my birth story, postpartum so far. And then I wanted to share some tidbits that I feel like, have been super helpful for me. And so I'm sharing these not because I want to give you guys advice, but to share the experience and the wisdom that I've garnered so far, in hopes that it will encourage you, the first piece is love on your body, nourish it, and do something nice for it every day. When we are postpartum, and we have a being that needs us 24/7 And our bodies are recovering and we are low on sleep, doing something nice for yourself every day is a non negotiable. So for me that could be making myself a little chai tea, or an Ayurvedic tea, or taking 15 minutes and reading a novel just for pleasure. I also love magnesium lotion. So taking a few minutes and putting magnesium lotion on my feet and on my legs, maybe taking a shower and shaving my legs, like whatever it is that brings you a little peace and makes you feel grounded. Incorporating that, and not making it something that you do if and when you've finished everything else, but rather making it a huge priority to care for yourself. Because as we care for ourselves and we feel like human beings ourselves, we're able to show up for our children and for our partners and friends and family so much more fully. So taking that time to love our bodies, nourish them and do something nice for ourselves every single day. Even if it's two minutes. The next thing I would say is ask for help. This is not a time to prove how hard working you are. I have a tendency to want to be self sufficient all the time. But when you have a C section, you can't lift anything heavier than your baby. It's hard to get up from laying in bed, it's hard to sit down, it's just hard to move around and do a whole lot because it causes pain. And you're not supposed to so that you can heal properly. And so I've had to really learn how to ask for help and then receive it with grace. Knowing that I'm going to be able to go back to my full capacity at some point. But now is not the time to rush that or try and prove myself in any way. Next thing is eating intuitively again, there it feels like there's so much pressure for us to bounce back. But our bodies need nourishment. Right after you have given birth is not the time to go on a juice cleanse or to deprive your body of anything. It's the time to give ourselves whatever it is that we're craving. And I've found that that has also brought me peace knowing like I'm being nourished. I'm not trying to do anything dramatic. Great. Now, to get back to my pre pregnancy weight, I'm trying to allow my body to heal, and my body to produce breast milk so that I can be the best mother I can possibly be. The next piece is something that two people have said to me. And this is the best, best, best, motherly advice I've received thus far. And it is, trust your motherly intuition. No matter what a doctor says, or your mom, or your best friend, or the internet, or somebody on social media, whatever. Trust your gut. And if you're feeling like something is off, or if somebody tells you something, and you feel contrary to it, and you have that gut feeling like, No, I want to do this, this is really important. Trust that. And that has been so important for me. And it's been a huge part in his first month of life of me being at peace, not trying to follow a different, you know, a million different pieces of advice, but trusting my gut and trusting my motherly intuition, that's been huge, as far as and this is like so much lighter content. But in this next week or so, I'm going to post on Instagram items that have been really important for me for my recovery, like the type of C section underwear that has been comfortable and not, you know, compromising my incision, foods, stuff like that, for postpartum, I'm going to post about that on my Instagram account. And then I'm also going to share several items. And these are, I don't think I'm an affiliate, well, I'm an affiliate for one of these things. But most of these items I'm NOT an affiliate for so I don't get any kind of kickback. But they're items in the first month for my son, that have just made things so much easier. So I'm going to share those as well, if you're interested if you're pregnant, or if you just gave birth, and you're interested in some really like amazing products. Go to my Instagram account in the next week, and I'll have posted those. So that's my birth story. That's my postpartum journey so far. And again, I want to conclude by saying that my birth story is not yours. So please don't take it to heart. I'm just sharing it. Because I feel like sharing these kinds of experiences is so connective. And some of you have asked, again, your birth story story could be absolutely amazing and beautiful. And I hope that it is. Motherhood is the most incredible experience I've ever had. And again, even though my birth was traumatic, I would do it again, because the end result is so euphoric and incredible. I stare at my son, every chance I get and I just eat him up. I mean, there are times where I barely remember like what my life was like before him. And I was so I was so scared, abnormally scared, I think of having children and the changes that would accompany having children. But he enhances everything. He has just injected this new fuel and love of life and curiosity. I just can't wait to show him everything. It's injected more joy than I ever thought possible. And I feel like I'm seeing the world with a new pair of eyes. And so I just I could not be more grateful for my precious boy. And with this, ask me your questions. You can DM me, you can email me, whatever. I'm happy to share my experience with motherhood. And I want this podcast to be a safe judgment free zone to share this information because it can be so polarizing in some areas. So I love you guys and I'm sending you such light and love. Thank you for listening and if you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out