Welcome to the Freak Show podcast, hosted by Sam Thurmond and Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. Sam is an Air Force Academy graduate and veteran who, after his service and two deployments, escaped the nine-to-five grind by building a real estate investing business that has, to date, accounted for over$50 million in real estate transactions. Jacqueline is an award-winning musician, former owner of boutique branding agency Steele International, and Real estate investor and designer for luxury multi-million dollar homes.
SPEAKER_01We are so excited to welcome you to the Freak Show podcast, where we center our content around the frequency of belief.
SPEAKER_02Why? Because when we overcome fear and self-doubt, basically by getting out of our own way, we can make the impossible possible.
SPEAKER_01And in this podcast, we are going to share our favorite mindset tools and life lessons that have completely transformed our lives and businesses. So without further ado, let's get freaky.
SPEAKER_02All right. Welcome back to The Freak Show. I'm Sam Thurmond. I'm here with my wife, Jacqueline Thurmond. Hello. How are you today?
SPEAKER_01Good. How are you?
SPEAKER_02Good.
SPEAKER_01I'm awesome. I'm super pumped for this episode, truly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I am too. I feel like it was a little frantic putting these together, coming off a trip. It's been a busy month. Yeah, a lot going on. I feel like we always say it's It's been busy, but it always is. But we got it done. We're in here, and we got some good stuff to talk about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and we switched up the format a little bit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah, so this episode is titled, Where There's a Will, There's a Why.
SPEAKER_01Why is that?
SPEAKER_02Why is that? Well, because it always comes back to your why, or it needs to always come back to your why. And, you know, I... Most, or I would say a lot of people have probably heard of Simon Sinek's book, Start With Why, and understand that concept as you're defining your why is basically what is guiding your ship at all times. And when the seas are rough, it's super important to have that why. It kind of keeps you on track. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm laughing because the seas have been a little rough recently.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. I thought you were just laughing at me like I was rambling or
SPEAKER_01something. No, not at all. Not at all.
SPEAKER_02So this episode, we want to explain what our why is. And I think we've been developing that over time. And it's not necessary. I want to call it a unique why because I think it's this... a lot of people have the same why as we do. But what I do think is unique and what I do think people will find interesting is how we view it and how we're looking at it. Because that's really the important thing is going a layer deeper and defining our why in a way that kind of paints a picture for us. Every time we run into challenges or adversity or you want to give up or whatever it is, you can just picture that why and it'll snap you out of it because it doesn't leave you with any options, basically.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think it was Danielle Laporte who said, plan like an eagle. I'm sorry, dream like an eagle, but plan like a mouse. And I think that aerial perspective, that taking a step back and viewing things in their fullness rather than just the picture you have right now is really helpful for gaining a healthy perspective.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because if you're only seeing what's in front of your nose, you're just not seeing the full picture. And a lot of times it can feel like you don't have... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01don't constitute a bad year
SPEAKER_02yeah exactly exactly yeah and you want to make decisions based on that broad perspective um versus the immediate which is hard to do so many times because you know you're under pressure or you got to pay the bills or whatever it is and it just seems um It's just hard. So at any rate, that's why we're talking about that today. And to jump right into it, one of the biggest life hacks we found is just making life not about yourself, right? It's easy to settle or give up or just not do your best when it's really only you banking on the outcome. And when you can make... your life about someone else a community or just other people in general or other things or other aspirations that are that are outside of yourself it just makes honestly it makes life easier because it makes decision making easier it takes the pressure off of you and it and Life isn't so self-centered and gives you so much more purpose.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think I have an alternate perspective on that too, because there is a perspective in which this could seem self-centered or selfish when you're focusing on yourself. But I think knowing you and knowing me, we both have a tendency to self-sacrifice and to take on additional responsibility or to take on additional... money responsibility even for other people because we go oh well we can handle it or we can do it or we have the means or we have the emotional maturity to take these things on and you and I have a tendency to pile on ourselves and I think what our why has taught us is the family comes first and if I'm taking on too much or you're taking on too much or we're not Right. Yeah. Yeah. but it ends up being a direct hit whether we mean for it to be or not. And so I think the season that we're in right now, I talked about there being some rough waters. It is teaching us the deep and profound lesson of why our why is so important and just how deep it goes through business levels, through personal levels, through soul levels.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. So kind of to summarize what you're saying is we have a tendency to sacrifice or we have a tendency to err on the side of taking more responsibility than we necessarily should, whether that's-
SPEAKER_01Very much.
SPEAKER_02Whether that's in a business and taking on extra responsibility to do- even menial tasks or take the financial hit in a situation or whatever it is, we have had a tendency, and that's been a big learning curve for us in business to
SPEAKER_01have that. Individually and together.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, to have that boundary. And what you're saying is because of ROI, going back to ROI... it's easier to recognize those moments. So much easier. And to basically set that boundary or stand up and say no or put our foot down and say no, you're not going to take advantage of us in this situation. Whether or not somebody's actually trying to take advantage of us, but put our foot down and say no because this is going to hurt our family. This is not just me sacrificing me, it's me sacrificing taking... Food off the proverbial table for my family.
SPEAKER_01100%. And I just saw a reel with Brene Brown and she was talking about the different options that families have for where their focus goes. So families can be parent focused.
SPEAKER_02I saw that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Where I think I sent it to you. where the focus goes on the parents and the parents' careers and what the parents want to do. And then there are family units where it's child focused, where the focus goes on the kids and their extracurricular activities and soccer practice and blah, blah, blah. And then... More rarely, there are family-focused families where the focus goes on the health of the family. And so everything is taken into consideration. And maybe the parent doesn't take on writing a book during that season. Or maybe the kid doesn't take on two different sports camps. They take on one. And the health of the family is put at the forefront. And I think that's another... just really healthy way of viewing things. Like we can't be everything to everybody all the time. And there's a season for everything. And I think having a very clear understanding of your why helps create clarity around all of this.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. So it's the family collective versus any individual in the family. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was good. I thought that was really good. So I think, you know, we have... Our son is our why, we'll say, or our family is our why. But as it relates to our son, again, not an uncommon why for a lot of people for your children to be your why. But I think before having children, never fully understood that. I understood making it about someone other than yourself or that being a parent does that. But to break it down even more specifically with our son being our why, we view it as 20 years from now when our son is out in the world and he is forging his path. He is taking hits. He's doing whatever he chooses to do. He can turn and look at his parents and see people who were brave enough to go take risks, to take some beatings, to forge on, and he can have that reassurance that he is not a fool to follow his dreams, to follow his passions, to not play it safe, to not follow... follow the...
SPEAKER_01Proverbial path or the American dream. The path
SPEAKER_02that most people do. But I mean, if he chooses to do that, that's totally fine. But I think having an example in his parents, in the people who care about him most, the flesh and the blood that he is derived from, to be able to connect that... to himself as he comes from- Strength. The ilk of people who forge through-
SPEAKER_01Have big nuts and big boobs.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Excuse my language,
SPEAKER_02but yeah. But to be able to do that, would we feel like is such a powerful gift to give him? Because- Now it's in his DNA. And I think what can happen is if you don't have that example in your life or you don't come from that sort of...
SPEAKER_01Entrepreneurial spirit. Yeah. That you have to have a certain level of comfort with risk.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. If you don't come from that and that's not... Yeah. You're breaking chains. Yeah. see that this is his makeup, like this is what he can do. And it doesn't have to be business. It's whatever, whatever it is, you know?
SPEAKER_01Well, and I think our job as parents to simplify this is to create really nutrient dense soil for him to grow in. And I think all of our parents did the absolute best that they could. So I'm not going to call anybody out.
SPEAKER_02No, I'm not knocking our
SPEAKER_01parents whatsoever. No, and I know you're not, but I think it's really important to say this, is that in creating nutrient-dense soil for your child to grow, there has to be a healthy dose of dreaming in that and understanding that dreams are possible. And then also a healthy dose of reality, which is... You also have to work to create those dreams. But they are possible and anything is possible. And I think when you and I joined together and when we decided to join together business-wise, we had no idea the challenges that we would face. And good thing, because we probably wouldn't have taken this path had we known the challenges that we would incur. But what we want to do is lead by example and show him that despite challenges, we can, through mindset, through action, through getting information, through continuing to take steps forward, we can still forge a path ahead. And I think where we have seen through observation, whoever maybe stop or quit or give up or say, this just isn't worth it, we are going forward. No, it is worth it. And we don't know what it's going to look like. We don't know what it's going to look like at the end of this month, which is in a few days, right? But we are expecting that it is going to be more wonderful than we could imagine. And so I think creating nutrient-dense soil for our son is allowing him to dream teaching him how to work on those dreams, and then also giving him tools to have a mindset with the strength of, let's say, Arnold Schwarzenegger. You think of his physical strength throughout his life. That's the kind of mindset we want to impart on our child.
SPEAKER_02Well, make it the norm. Make it the norm. Make it, normalize, normalize, adversity as just a part of life. Because it is. And what seems as though is lacking so much is that adversity has been, I won't say removed, because I know plenty of people, everybody hits adversity at some point in their life.
SPEAKER_01You're not living if you don't hit adversity sometimes. Yeah,
SPEAKER_02but it seems like we... are so averse to adversity as a society at this point that it really leaves people stagnant. But that's beside the point. I think making that the norm for him and when he is making it normal to... not only accept that, but expect it and be grateful for it because that means that you're growing. So, you know, and that whole path, but I just, it's not only that's, so that is our gift to him, right? Like we're not going to give up on that, that we want that for him or we want to be the, that example for him. But then the flip side of that is what does that do for us? Yeah. Selfishly, which is just as cool is it removes the option.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It's like nitrous oxide.
SPEAKER_02Right. We talk about this all the time. Burning clean energy, endless bottomless energy, having that source. And what that... this why does for us is it removes the option of giving up. It removes the option of ultimate failure. Just not going to happen because we're not giving ourselves that option because we are going to be that example for him.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and the mind pattern of defeat, which is so dangerous. And it's something that I have struggled with of just like, oh, I feel so defeated. But when you have a clear why... when it is much bigger than yourself, when those thoughts start to creep in, it is easier to correct them as they creep in because you realize that defeat is not an option.
SPEAKER_02Right. It's not an option. And this, we have had countless sleepless nights. We've had periods that were gut-wrenching in the sense of financial burden or loss or just weight that was feeling like it was crushing us. And it felt like that because we hadn't experienced it before. And now looking back 10, five, even two years ago, some of
SPEAKER_01that adversity. I'm thinking this year, I mean, we've experienced so much loss. I know, but what I'm saying
SPEAKER_02is, is looking back, it's not as big, but in the moment it felt
SPEAKER_01crushing.
SPEAKER_02And so going through that, And choosing to chart that path where you're going to face that, it takes a toll on you over time. It will wear you down. If you let it. If you let it. But a key is having something to fall back on that makes that all worthwhile. And that is the why. And so now in those... in those seemingly crushing moments or when that weight feels so heavy to just be able to step back and say, you're just going to go through it. You just have to go through it. You don't have another option because you're not going to quit, you're not going to give up, and you're just going to figure it out. Just removing that option makes everything so much easier. It does. You just don't have the option to quit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So, um, yeah, I think thankfully now we have more tools in our toolkits and this is a, a, this is a, uh, this is an excavator as our son would say, this is a big tool. Um, And, you know, we have others, and I think we've learned to manage the stress and whatnot over time. But the bigger steps you take, the bigger risks you take, that you kind of have that cyclical feeling of you face the same sort of fears. They're just kind of bigger. But, yeah, so that's our why. We want our son... As an adult, to be able to look at us as an example, as inspiration. Maybe he wants to go a completely traditional route, and that would be totally fine, but at least he knows that he
SPEAKER_01has the ability. Yeah, he has the support, and he's got role models within his circle that that are going to buoy him forward, but also have the experience and the stories to share with him. And I think two points that I'd like to touch on, I don't know when we're wrapping, but two points that I'd like to touch on before we wrap up. One is something that Tony Robbins talks about, and I don't think he was talking directly about a why, but in this case, if you don't have a why already and you're listening to this, You have two options. It can be love-based or it can be fear-based. Every human emotion can either be derived from love or fear. And your why could be because you want to prove your dad wrong or you want to prove your mom wrong or you want to prove so-and-so wrong. Or your why can be based on fulfilling your potential or because you want to be an example to your kid or you want to be an example to your little brother or sister or whatever. If you can... Fear can be a great motivator. And if you can alchemize it, awesome. But if you can, I would encourage you to have your why be based in love because love takes a lot of the pressure off. And I know for me, when I'm starting a race, feeling like I'm wearing 200 pounds of pressure, it's a lot harder for me to get motivated to get going. And the other thing I would add is adversity on its face, face value, it sucks. It's really hard. But adversity is a teacher. And something that I've learned through loss, through fear, and when I say fear, guys, I'm talking about just vulnerably crippling fear, fear that has kept me in bed during the day, fear that has kept me awake at night, fear that has haunted me for months at a time. It doesn't have to be like that because it's pointing us towards something. That adversity that creates that fear really is just a portal and it's asking us to alchemize it. And I'll give you an example. I am someone who takes health extremely seriously. Sometimes far too seriously. I've been far too regimented at times. And I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's in 2020 in the middle of the pandemic when there was so much stress and we were moving and getting into an RV to travel for months and there was a lot of instability there. And what I've realized over the last four years of having this dis-ease, I'm not going to call it a disease, it's just dis-ease, is that it is a portal constantly asking me to alchemize it. It's constantly a fear that bubbles up that is asking me to create love around it. And I find that literally my thyroid results reflect either self-criticism or self-love. When I am in a place of anxiety and I'm being hard on myself, my thyroid numbers literally reflect that. When I am in a good mental space and I am monitoring my thoughts and loving myself and taking care of myself the way someone who loves themselves does, my thyroid numbers reflect it. It's incredible how much our thoughts affect our physical selves. And so bringing that all back to where there is a will, there is a why, our thoughts create our reality. Our thoughts create the energy that we live with. And the energy that we live with literally creates frequency. We call this the freak show. And that frequency, Frequency attracts or repels other frequencies. And so if we can master our thoughts, we can master the creation of our reality. And again, it really does start with why. Why are you doing what you're doing?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. And so I have... I have a couple questions for the audience to help them kind of get to their why, because I think that's a struggle for a lot of people. But like you're saying, your why is the goalpost when it comes to managing your thoughts, and it's a tool in that process. Because it cuts through so much of the noise. I think that's what your why does is it cuts through so much of that noise and gets you back to your purpose. And people that live a purpose-filled life tend to be...
SPEAKER_01Tend to literally live longer.
SPEAKER_02Live longer, have a more joyous experience and accomplish more, so forth and so on. So I'm going to wrap up. the episode, if you're ready, with a few questions. Sorry, back to clearing my throat. That could help listeners get to their why. So if you're struggling with your why and what that would be for you, I would just ask you, what would you sacrifice anything for? What's the one thing in your life that is so worth it that it removes the option of quitting? If you can answer that, you're probably getting close to your why.
SPEAKER_01Any other questions?
SPEAKER_02That's it.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Well, thank you for listening. And we cannot wait to connect with you next week. As a friendly reminder, if you are enjoying these podcast episodes, we would love it if you would leave us a review on Spotify or Apple. It helps with the algorithm to get this podcast and the information within it out to more people. And we read every single review. So if you would leave us a review and we would just appreciate it so much. Thank you for listening. Have a great day.
SPEAKER_02Thanks.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much for listening to The Freak Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com and on social media.
SPEAKER_02You can find us on Instagram and TikTok at Beckon Living and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcasts and business updates and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freaky community. Cheers to high-frequency living.