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Welcome to the Freak Show podcast, hosted by Sam Thurmond and Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. Sam is an Air Force Academy graduate and veteran who, after his service and two deployments, escaped the 9-to-5 grind by building a real estate investing business that has, to date, accounted for over$50 million in real estate transactions. Jacqueline is an award-winning musician, former owner of boutique branding agency Steele International, and We are

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so excited to welcome you to the Freak Show podcast, where we center our content around the frequency of belief.

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Why? Because when we overcome fear and self-doubt, basically by getting out of our own way, we can make the impossible possible.

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And in this podcast, we are going to share our favorite mindset tools and life lessons that have completely transformed our lives and businesses. So without further ado,

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let's get freaky.

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Hello, hello, and welcome back to The Freak Show. I am Jacqueline Steele Thurmond, and I am joined by... Your

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handsome husband, Sam Thurmond.

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And today, in episode number 11, we're going to talk about why rest is the new hustle and how rest avoids burnout and it creates consistency. So this is some really important stuff.

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Yeah, for sure. I think we touched on this quite a bit in the last episode.

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I feel like this is the perfect follow-up.

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Yeah, so it's definitely a continuation. But burnout is so inefficient,

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right? It is so inefficient,

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yeah. And it's when everything just feels like an absolute grind to make any progress possible. just feels like you're moving a mountain yeah

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everything's working you feel like the guy with the world on his back

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right when really what's going on is you're just tapped like you've been going for too long without any breaks

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and

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without any space and you're you're You're moving through mud, basically.

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So I see this episode as a little bit of a therapy slash confession session for myself because I have lived, what I've realized over the last four months is that I've lived much of my adult life in a cycle of burnout. I start to get a little in my tank and then my tendency is to give it away pretty much immediately. And I've wondered for so long why I haven't had the juice to accomplish many of the things that I know in my heart and soul I'm meant to accomplish. And I've realized because of this first quarter of the year, though it's been hard, it's been just ripe with lessons. I haven't been able to do some of those things, many of those things, because I've been in a constant state of burnout, just constant. And I don't want to do that anymore. And so I have been reclaiming my heart and my life and my physical health. And it's not that it was so dire, guys. I feel like as an average woman, I... take really good care of myself. But if I can get into this kind of cycle and in this kind of state, I know the rest of us can too. And so I think it's important to share my heart in this because I think so many of us will be able to relate. So many women and so many men will be able to relate.

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Definitely above average though.

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Well, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, but there's still so much that I want to do and I can't do that when I am just... mentally and physically tapped, done. So do you want to define burnout for us and what you think it is?

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Yeah. So I thought this was pretty good. We came up with a definition and burnout is lack. It's lack of energy, inspiration, creativity, and perspective. Those are kind of the four things that we... settled on for burnout being a lack of.

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And

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you basically burn through all those things, right? And there's none left. And I think that's a very good description because that's how it feels.

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I do too. And I think for me to burn out led to my diagnosis of Hashimoto's thyroiditis in 2020. Obviously 2020 was stressful for everybody. And I think 2020 and COVID, it's the straw that broke the camel's back for me. It was just that extra amount of stress that pushed me over the edge. And my burnout, there was certainly physical burnout as part of the recipe of what led me to Hashimoto's. But I think primarily it was mental burnout. I am, and I think so many men and women will be able to relate to this, but I'm my harshest critic. I can be so incredibly hard on myself and have standards that are so high that when I don't reach them, I will beat myself up. Now, The good thing is I have a high level of awareness around this. The bad thing is over 34 years when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's, I had not been able to correct that. And so that physical exhaustion from giving so much and being there for so many people And then the mental exhaustion of not refilling my cup adequately and the negative self-talk, which is also, I started my podcast Self-Worth in 2020. I started that podcast to heal myself. And I did so much healing over the four seasons of that podcast. So, so, so, so, so much healing. But I'm still not cured yet. And the last four months or the last three months really taught me that. And again, though being diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder is not a pleasant experience, if we can flip the script and change the perspective, it has taught me so much about myself. And so in many ways, it's been a blessing in disguise. But again, going back to what led to this burnout is I've just taken on too much mentally and physically for long periods of time and then not done what I needed to do to regain that energy. And what finally made me rest, I've had periods where burnout has led me to being sick and there's no way for me to do anything else but rest. But most recently, I think I got it in a way that I've never gotten it before. Would you say that that's true, Sam?

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I think both of us did.

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Yeah, I think both of us did. And we talked about that in episode nine. We talked about it a little bit in episode 10. But in February, I got sick. I got some kind of virus. I lost my voice completely for over a week. It was after my son had been really, really sick and that was really scary. My stepdad almost died. It was just, there was so much stress and my body just couldn't keep up. And I... got sick with what I thought was a cold. And then I thought I was getting better. And then I was laid out flat again. And then I thought I was getting better. And then I was laid out flat again. And it cycled for about a month where my body was just so exhausted. I couldn't do anything more. And because I am a type A personality and I'm driven, it was so frustrating in the beginning because I was like, it's the beginning of February. We are still pretty much at the beginning of the year. I have so much that I want to do. I've got a lot on my to-do list. We have all these projects going on and I am just like incapacitated. But what I realized was I hadn't been taking proper care of myself. I had been in a state of high stress for far too long. And when you don't take the time that you need to reset and relax and restore, not only your physical self, but your emotional health and your mental health and, and take some time to nurture your soul, you burn out and you burn out hard, hard, hard, hard. I feel like my plane just crashed. And again, though it was a frustrating lesson, by the end of the month, I just realized I have got to recalibrate how I approach my days. And I have to, instead of earning my rest, start from a place of rest because I can't keep perpetuating this cycle of burnout. So what do you have to add to that, Sam?

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Well, it's not really a clean transition here, but I agree with you. I think we all, I think you... gained a better perspective after going through the strain of the beginning of the year and the sickness and everything. And I think I came out with a much clearer understanding at the same time with you of how that works for you. And we discussed that in the previous podcast as far as getting a little fuel in the tank and then

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Giving it away.

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Going ahead and burning through

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that before. Yeah, that's my default. That is my default, so I have to retrain.

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Yeah. So, you know, on the flip side of that, as we're talking about burnout and kind of reaching the end of that cycle when you, you know, hopefully you don't get sick or hopefully there isn't something that's, serious that happens from it, which it can lead to those things. But there have been a few times where when I've reached my limit, it's been very much a blessing in disguise because the analogy I have on here is it's a forced reset. And it's like what happens when you're computer runs out of battery. It just shuts down. It closes all the applications. Hopefully it didn't, you know, you saved your work, but it shuts everything down and it's done. Like it just, it's not, it quits working until it gets sufficiently charged. And we're the same. And I think in those moments when, you know, when I referenced when I was laid out on the floor, That gave me time and space.

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You referenced that in the last episode. Oh, was that the last episode? He was laid out on the floor. He hurt his back and his leg. And for four days, he could not stand up and get off the floor.

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Yeah, it was the weirdest thing. I don't even remember doing anything to my back, but my entire back seized up all the way down my leg. And I couldn't get off the floor for four days. And the message that I received was, in that period was that it was intentional. Like your body's going to stop you if you don't stop and slow down from time to time. But I think the back end of that When you have that episode and you get the time and the space, whether you choose to make that time and space or your body actually forces you into that space, that's when you're able to kind of realize that you need to change the way you're doing things and your approach and come at it from a different angle. But it always, always... seems to provide a new perspective. Whenever I get sick...

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There's always a silver lining to everything.

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Whenever I get sick, I can't stand being sick. I hate being sick.

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He's such a baby when he's sick.

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Yeah, I am. He's such a baby. It's awful. It's so awful having a tummy acher, sniffles.

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And having a wife that takes such awesome care of you.

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But it's one of those things like you want to not be sick so often. bad, that it shifts your perspective and it gives you an appreciation for being healthy and feeling good. So I think that's the silver lining on going through all of those periods. But then what you have to do from there is make sure that you build in those boundaries, build in those routines and everything to keep you from getting to that place But it's always, it's, you know, you're going to be humbled one way or another.

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Yeah.

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You're either going to choose to be humble yourself and prevent yourself from getting to that point

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or... That's preferable.

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Yeah, that's preferable. Or you're going to get to that point. Or you're going to drive off the cliff.

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Yeah. And I think, you know... I don't want to drive off the cliff anymore. I've driven off the cliff way, way, way too many times and it's my bad now if I drive off the cliff again. So we talked in episode 10 about how to increase your capacity while still keeping your energy really high. And that's what we're working on. We are creating a system in which we can perform at the best of our ability while still avoiding burnout. And we talked a lot about how we are doing that in episode 10. And I think we should just do a little recap here, but essentially I'm prioritizing my mental and physical health. Obviously checking in with how I'm feeling every day and respecting my boundaries, making more boundaries, but I also use the aura ring religiously. And it has helped keep me honest. I have a tendency, my brain overrides my body, which I'm sure so many of you listening to this can relate to. And while I like to think I am smart enough to know when to say when, sometimes I'm not. And sometimes my brain tells me I just need to keep going. And the Oura Ring has been so awesome at telling me, again, this is not an ad, not sponsored by them in any way. I just absolutely love it. It tells me where my resilience is at. It tells me where my readiness score is at, where my sleep is at. And during that month of February and in March, my resilience was at like, it was none, essentially. I think there's like a level beyond low resilience. And it was like the lowest amount of resilience you can have. And it was so humbling, as Sam mentioned, because I realized It's nobody's fault that I'm here. I allowed this. Yes, we have had extenuating circumstances, but I also haven't taken good enough care of myself to safeguard against this. So I've allowed myself to get into this position. And what I'm doing now to make sure that that doesn't happen again is, again, prioritizing my mental and physical health and using that aura ring as a... litmus test to make sure that I am on track and doing what I need to be doing. I also am a lot more intentional or have been over the last six, eight weeks about carving out time for myself. So walking, meditating, journaling, making time for things that really fill me up, like Taking my son to go see the horses. Taking our son to Monster Jam last weekend. Like, do I love monster trucks and Monster Jam? No. But do I love seeing my son light up with excitement and joy? Yeah. I mean, that like fills my tank to overflowing. So I'm just, I'm intentionally, I'm being so much more intentional about my time and my schedule.

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Yeah.

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And I think, as Sam, you wrote in the notes, it does start with space in the morning. And I've always been somebody who religiously has a quiet time. But what I'm realizing is, too, is we need space during the day, too. Once we complete that quiet time in the morning, if we don't return back during the day, even for five minutes, two minutes, whatever you have, to a state of calm and peace where our heart rate can decrease, I'm not taking good enough care of myself. So that has revolutionized the way that I live my life over the last six, eight weeks.

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Yeah, every day is a domino, I think, in the 24 hours since and also in the weeks piling up on themselves. So the first thing in the morning is that space. I think people can get overwhelmed with a need to meditate for 30 minutes. I got to do the cold plunge. I got to do the sauna. I got to do yada, yada, yada, yada. And it's like a two-hour process before you ever actually get the day started. That's

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not sustainable necessarily.

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No, no. But I honestly think it becomes like... more of a stressor than a stress reliever to have to feel like you have to do all of these things to get in the right mindset. And I'm not dogging on it, but I'm saying that to say you can overdo it and overcomplicate the process too. And I love simplicity and I feel like for me, as long as I... It doesn't have to be a set period of time. Some mornings, it's like five minutes. Some mornings, it's 30 minutes, 45 minutes. But sitting and I do like some Wim Hof breathing and I meditate. And sometimes that's one round or like five minutes or so. And sometimes I go a lot further. But in that process, I'm also having these creative ideas and it's... It's not just productive after the fact, it's also productive while I'm doing it, if you think of it that way. But I think my main point is, to me, the most important thing is starting with that in the morning. And I do a lot of framing, which is basically envisioning how you envisioning who you want to be, how you want to feel, how you want that day to go, how do you, how you want certain circumstances to play out, um, with certain things and taking those main objectives that I have and putting myself in that state, um, for, you know, even just a couple of breaths and feeling what it feels to, to be that, to accomplish that, to already have that. Um, And then from there, it's night and day, the way the rest of the day will go. And I agree with you, even stopping for 20 seconds to take four or six deep breaths and just putting yourself back in that state, to me, that's the real consistency of maintaining balance. a good mindset, a positive mindset is just 10 seconds here, 10 seconds there throughout the day, taking a couple breaths to be grateful, to feel and envision the things that you're pursuing and really just come back to a place of presence and gratitude just for that brief moment, it will, it can, it will, it does totally change your outlook and change the way my, the course of my day.

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Yeah. I would say the flex for us this year is a healthy mind and a healthy nervous system. Yeah. That is our flex.

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Yeah.

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So I would say this is pretty much our last point for this, but consistency trumps everything. So you don't need two hours every day. You don't need three hours every day. You can have five minutes or 15 minutes or 20 minutes, but taking time for yourself to get your head on straight, it'll change everything.

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Yeah. Yeah. It's the domino effect. I mean, what's that book that talks about consistency? Is it like the incremental? I can't think of what it is.

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Give me a couple more clues, context clues, and I'll be able to tell you. I can

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almost see the cover.

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Atomic Habits?

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Maybe it's Atomic Habits. I thought it was...

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About creating consistency every day? Yeah, maybe it is

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Atomic Habits.

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Or is it... It was

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like the incremental effect or something.

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What is it? Greg McGowan? I

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never remember authors' names.

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Well, Greg McGowan wrote The One Thing. No,

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it's

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not The One Thing. No, no, he wrote Essentialism.

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No, it's not that.

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All right. Well, we're wasting time. The

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compounding effect. Maybe... I haven't read that book. I'm just making stuff up. Okay. Anyway.

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Well, I think it's... valuable now to show how a lack of consistency has shown itself in our lives. And a lack of consistency has created a lack of routine, which when we are out of routine as a couple, things just fall apart. The wheels fall off the wagon. We get distracted. We don't feel healthy. Our Because we are creative people, because we are entrepreneurs and builders, we need structure in our day to create space for creativity. Otherwise, we will fill it with a million different things that don't matter. So lack of consistency is just horrible for us. And when that happens, our goals get pushed. We have... Like we said, a lack of focus. We get shiny object syndrome. We don't finish things. We have to reset and start over. So we're not efficient. It's just a train wreck. But when we are consistent through rest, through meditation, through getting our heads on straight in the morning, through taking time off, in small increments in the day to reset, we're able to keep a consistent routine for long periods of time. We're able to get in the gym three to four times a week and be super consistent with that. We're able to find beauty in the mundane of chopping, like literally chopping vegetables or playing cars with our son or Legos with our son, taking walks. lighting a candle. When you create space in your mind, it creates space in your life. And that has a compounding effect.

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The compound effect. That's what it is.

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It's

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on there. It's the last bullet. I knew it was in there somewhere. One thing I want to say though, just real quickly, is I want to hammer on something that's really important and I'll just speak for myself. What's really important for me in consistency is simplicity. Sure. It's got to be

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sustainable.

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My routine doesn't need to be super complex. I need it to be simple. I need my checklist to tell me Yeah,

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this guy doesn't even use a planner. He just uses a line notebook and makes a checklist.

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Right, because the planner's too complicated. Because I'm his planner. No, it's because the planner's too complicated. I keep the schedule. I don't need to take 30 minutes to fill out all these different things on these planners that just confuse me.

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That keep our lives on track?

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Yeah, like... Filling out those planners like I need to put that on my checklist as another thing I have to do.

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I'll just make a list. He's got a wife that does that for him. I

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just make a list. I do the things that are on the list and I keep it simple. There are things that change every day, but there are always those few things that if I do this, it will turn into this and it will turn into this and it will turn into this and this is the final result I'm looking for. That's so easy for me. That's so easy for everyone if you just... can figure out what are those one or two things if done every day without fail. It's the 80-20 rule. Will give you the result that you're looking

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for. What's the 20% of things that gives you 80% of the results?

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Yeah. And it's really as simple as that. When there are times when I've looked back, I'm like, oh man, I didn't get what I wanted or I didn't achieve what I wanted. It's because I wasn't consistent with those few things.

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So

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it makes... It's the reason why you're going to accomplish something and it's the reason why you're not going to accomplish something. So it just makes it super easy. And I would say,

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know thyself. I personally love my planner. I love it. When I have my week planned out, I'm so much more effective. So just know yourself and know how you work and take the time to get to know how you work.

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And I know thyself isn't going to use a planner, so I just

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use a notebook. I know. I know. I've bought you many, but they go unused. So question to end with today is, what can you do today that would bring you the rest that you need? All right, y'all. Thanks for listening, and we will catch you next week. Thank you so much for listening to The Freak Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jacqueline Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com, and on social media.

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You can find us on Instagram and TikTok, at Beckon Living, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcasts and business updates, and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freaky community. Cheers to high-frequency living.