Jaclyn

We are so excited to welcome you to The Freq Show podcast, where we center our content around the frequency of belief.

Sam

Why? Because when we overcome fear and self-doubt, basically by getting out of our own way, we can make the impossible possible.

Jaclyn

And in this podcast, we are going to share our favorite mindset tools and life lessons that have completely transformed our lives and businesses. So without further ado,

Sam

Let's get freqy.

Jaclyn

Hello and welcome to episode six of The Freq Show. Sam and I are pumped to have you here. I am kind of astounded that we're already on episode six. This is so exciting.

Sam

Yeah, we're rocking and rolling.

Jaclyn

Yeah, so this will be airing in mid-December right before Christmas. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy new year to you. Yeah, let's dive in. What are we talking about today, Sam?

Sam

All right, today's topic is radical self-belief. We've talked about in the The frequency of belief in all things. And today we're going

Jaclyn

to focus in on self-belief. Okay.

Sam

You should definitely check those out. Okay. So.

Jaclyn

I love a good quote.

Sam

Right. Yep. And am I reading the quotes or are you reading the

Jaclyn

quotes? I think we should go back and forth.

Sam

Okay.

Jaclyn

So what I did was, because quotes motivate me, especially quotes from people I really respect. So I did a little Google search on self-belief and what people I respect are saying about self-belief. And so I want to read these to you guys to just kind of whet your appetite. Okay. I'll start with the first one. It's from Norman Vincent. I'm not sure how to pronounce his last name. Piali or Peel. Anyways, believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.

Sam

That's a good one. All right, next one. By Ray Lamontagne.

Jaclyn

No, it's Ray Lamontagne. I know. Oh, okay. Oh my gosh. That's like saying Italian food. Oh, one of my biggest pet peeves.

Sam

You have to believe in yourself before anybody else will believe in you.

Jaclyn

Okay. Next one from Kobe Bryant. The great Kobe Bryant. If you don't believe in yourself, no one will do it for you.

Sam

Very similar. Great minds. First, think. Second, believe. Third, dream. And finally, dare. Oh, Walt Disney.

Jaclyn

Walt Disney. That next one comes from Muhammad Ali. To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.

Sam

And finally, working hard is important, but there is something that matters even more, believing in yourself. Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling.

Jaclyn

So my belief and something that I have experienced in my time on this earth, something that I think is so worth sharing is that self-belief across the board is the bedrock for success. Now, this doesn't mean that you will never have bouts where you are lacking confidence or you have self-doubt or you don't know if you can make the next move because it feels really scary. Those are very human emotions. But across the board, the common denominator for all successful people is there is a reasonable amount of self-belief. It's the bedrock for success. And we want to go even further still into this idea and share five reasons why radical self-belief will change your life. Not a little self-belief, not a sprinkle, not a good helping radical self-belief. This is the kind of belief that when you are awakened in the middle of the night with the thought of your worst fear, you are able to conquer it. because you have so much belief in yourself and your abilities and your ideas and your dreams that it drowns that fear. So the first thing I want to talk about is how radical self-belief will transform the way that you think about yourself. And I think that's worth saying again. Radical self-belief will transform the way you think about yourself because when one believes in oneself, One doesn't try and convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her. Lao Tzu. So here's something that's really interesting, guys. When you take yourself seriously, when you believe in yourself, you lead the way in how others perceive you. And I think so often... in the society we currently live in, we are taught to observe ourselves from other people's point of view. So many of us, myself included, can get caught up in caring what other people think. But radical self-belief is an inside job. It comes from the inside out. And when we start taking our own medicine, believing in our own abilities, that emanates, that increases our frequency. And that frequency, just like whales communicating through whale sounds, other people pick up on that naturally. You don't even have to say anything. It's the way you carry yourself. So radical self-belief will transform the way you think about yourself. Number two, radical self-belief is required if you want other people to believe in you. Have you ever, Sam, had a circumstance in which you walk into a room, you don't know anybody, and people automatically believe in you if you don't believe in yourself? No. Ever? No. But on the flip side, I'm sure there have been times where you're feeling you do have that radical self-belief and you're in a group, new people, people that don't know you. And because of the energy that you emanate, people are naturally drawn to you and want to be a part of what you're doing.

Sam

Absolutely.

Jaclyn

Yeah. Okay. Number three, you cannot be successful or happy without self-belief. And this is so true because self-belief is like an anchor. It's like a mooring. It's like a foundational piece of life. If we don't have belief in our own self and our own autonomy and our own authorship, we're not going to be able to get to a place where we feel a sense of peace around where we are at. I think we will always be in a state of wanting. And being in a state of wanting or desire naturally makes us in a state of unhappiness, in a state of dissatisfaction. So... creating that radical self-belief and having it be part of the fabric of your daily life. It also creates happiness and joy and peace because you are following your natural inklings, natural instincts, your purpose. And purpose gives us so much happiness. Okay, number four out of five. Radical self-belief puts competition into perspective. I really, really like this one because so many people get caught up in the idea of competition or in business when somebody's promoting a similar product or has a similar business concept, et cetera. It thwarts their forward motion. But Diane Sawyer said, whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it.

Sam

That's a good one.

Jaclyn

I love it because we are all innately worthy. You were born worthy. And

Sam

we can tend to give others. We can tend to, to view others as more worthy oftentimes.

Jaclyn

Yeah. It's like, um, what was, what was the book? Was it, it was, um, The quote is, oh, it's from Animal Farm. All pigs are equal. Some pigs are just more equal than others. And that was the satire of the whole situation. You know what I'm talking about? I

Sam

mean, I was probably supposed to read it in high school.

Jaclyn

Well, that was the quote that always stuck with me. Like all pigs are equal. Some are just more equal than others. And it's obviously, we are all equal. But that latter part of the quote, some are just more equal than others, that correlates to our level of self-belief and our level of self-worth. Okay. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I can. You can get on board with that? I can get down with that. Okay, number five, radical self-belief puts us on equal footing with those we aspire to be like. When you turn envy into a positive thing, like aspiration or looking up to somebody or believing that, Hey, because they can achieve that, that means I can achieve that changes the frequency. But also it gives us proof that whatever it is we are seeking to do, it's been done before, which means it can be done again.

Sam

So

Jaclyn

there's history to it. It's statistically proven that it can be done.

Sam

Yep.

Jaclyn

Yeah. Okay. What do you have to say about these things?

Sam

Well, The whole time, and great list, I think those are outstanding aspects of self-belief and really analyzing that. Not on the other hand, but all I can think about as you're talking about that, and I'm sure women can relate here, but talking to my guys out there, everybody knew that guy. that was just way more confident than he should have been. You know, growing up, he just, he wasn't all that athletic. I knew that guy too. He wasn't all that good looking. He wasn't all that smart. He wasn't all that, you know, just, he wasn't all that except in his own mind, right? And, but he was always, he always overachieved because he just had the confidence. Like he just didn't care that you didn't think He was any of those things or cool or whatever it is. But that confidence carried him or her, whoever it is, and made them successful, made them overachieve. It got them in the room. They put themselves in the room. They put themselves in the position because they believed in themselves when nobody looking at them thought that they should be there. or thought that they should have that level of confidence. And I can just picture the guy and remember it vividly, just kind of being like, man, how does he do that? But it all just came down to that self-belief. I don't know if that was something that was just instilled in him by his parents or people around him or whatever it is, but that is a superpower. It

Jaclyn

is.

Sam

Yeah. It's a superpower to be able to... Like

Jaclyn

rocket

Sam

fuel. Yeah. To just naturally come by that. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it isn't naturally. Maybe it's learned or whatever it is or a combination of those things. But...

Jaclyn

It doesn't matter, really.

Sam

That alone is a complete difference maker because you can have someone that has all the qualifications, has the skills, has what they need... in the toolkit, but if they don't have that self-belief, they're not even going to show up fully. Then they're going to hold back. Like in the last episode, they're not going to go all in because they just don't have the confidence to do so. And that confidence, that self-belief will outweigh, will beat that person with all the all the tools nine times out of 10, because they're just going to show up fully.

Jaclyn

I have a couple of things to add to that. One is that what comes to mind is Beyonce. Like Beyonce to me so often has been the epitome of confidence. And what I'm about to say next may be a little bit controversial, but I believe that there are other performers out there that we have never heard of that have just as beautiful of a voice and can dance just as well as Beyonce and are probably equally as pretty as Beyonce. But what sets her so far apart from everybody else is her projection of confidence. The way that she steps onto a stage is not only like she owns the stage, it's like she owns the entire universe that she exists in. And that sets somebody leaps and bounds ahead of another performer who doesn't.

Sam

Yeah, that and the Illuminati.

Jaclyn

That and the Illuminati.

Sam

Just kidding. Am I? I don't know. Who knows?

Jaclyn

Yeah, we're probably not kidding, but I think that's for another episode. But that projection of confidence, whether she truly feels it or not, sets her worlds apart from everybody else. I also think that it's really important to address, and this is a note that you have on our script, about... Only a few people are going to believe in you before you believe in yourself, if at all, if at all. And the harsh part is it's usually not the people closest to you. Do you want to address that?

Sam

Yes. It's the people that are closest to you, your family and your friends. They just, they want you to be safe. Their main thing is they want you to be safe. They don't want you to get hurt. And therefore, they don't want you to expose yourself to risk.

Jaclyn

Yeah. And sometimes people don't want to be challenged. Sure. And when you are challenging the status quo, it threatens their current form of reality.

Sam

Sure. Yeah. There are both of those things. But all that to say that oftentimes it is not the people that are closest to you that are going to be the ones that believe in you. Mm-hmm. a lot of times it's people that barely even know you.

Jaclyn

Yeah.

Sam

That see something in you.

Jaclyn

Oh, that has been my experience over and over and over and over.

Sam

That just share a word or, you know, a pat on the back or just a breath of confidence in you at the right time that make all the difference.

Jaclyn

Oh my gosh.

Sam

Because they're not putting the limitations on you that you're putting on yourself or that, Let's say the people that are closest to you might.

Jaclyn

I have a perfect example of that. When I was brand new in my branding business, Steel International, I was at the University of Georgia Business School. And they had an awesome program where you could come in and meet with different counselors, talk about your business, get advice, blah, blah, blah. And my counselor at the time was a guy named Mike Myers, not the actor, but he worked for UGA. Or the

Sam

serial killer.

Jaclyn

What?

Sam

Yeah, Mike Myers from the movie, you know, the Halloween movies.

Jaclyn

That's

Sam

Mike? No, that's Jason. Who is Mike Myers? Mike Myers is like a serial

Jaclyn

killer. So just as a side note, Sam knows very little about movies or celebrities.

Sam

I'm getting it confused, but Mike Myers is...

Jaclyn

That's total tangent. So anyways, I was a brand new baby in business ownership and a brand new baby in counseling people on how to build their brands. And when I went to Mike Myers and I was seeking advice, he saw my business plan. He saw what I was doing and he in our first meeting, not only affirmed me, asked me to come speak to other business owners to help them expand their brands. And for somebody to pour into me like that and have that amount of belief in me when I was just getting my footing, it changed the way I approached building my business for the rest of the time that I was in business. There is a Mike Myers.

Sam

Michael Myers. Yeah.

Jaclyn

We're going to have to have like some kind of Tyler or something that like fact checks us.

Sam

I would love to.

Jaclyn

Like Joe Rogan. Yeah. Oh, okay. So tangent, tangent, and we're back. Let's talk about MJ. Look at your notes.

Sam

Yeah. Sorry.

Jaclyn

Oh my gosh. ADHD.

Sam

It's all good. Yeah. He likes

Jaclyn

to be right, people.

Sam

He likes to be right. Well, I just knew that I was right in that circumstance. I just couldn't, you know, I couldn't... My brain was going in too many different directions.

Jaclyn

I got to prove to her. I got to prove to her. I can just hear your internal thought system right there. I know I'm right. I've got to prove it to her. I've got to show her on my laptop.

Sam

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we referenced Jordan in the previous episode, so I won't go too far into it, but he's just such a... He's just such a case study in self-belief. Him and Kobe, they're just cut from the same cloth. They were on another level of self-belief. They didn't let failure enter their mind because why would they?

Jaclyn

And we may not be basketball greats, but we can train our minds in the same way. We can also create radical self-belief. and create muscles in our mind that are so strong that we block out the doubt and block out the fear. Right. And block out the self-sabotage.

Sam

Yeah. So we've shared examples in the past of times that we've failed as a result of not believing in ourselves in previous episodes. What's an example you can share of a time where you just all out believed in yourself and when maybe the people around you were doubters and you just crushed it?

Jaclyn

Well, I definitely want to talk about that, but I think you skipped over a really important point, which was point number two, holding ourselves back as a result. I think you got so caught up in the Mike Myers thing.

Sam

Oh, okay. I didn't know that we were... Okay, sorry. Well, we

Jaclyn

will... You said, here, I'm just going to read your script for you, okay? You said, it's wild how often... It's a

Sam

loose outline.

Jaclyn

It's a loose outline. But this is what you said. It's wild how often we become self-fulfilling prophecies by number one, not believing in ourselves. Then number two, holding ourselves back as a result.

Sam

Yeah, that was a good point by me.

Jaclyn

I know. I know. That's why I didn't want to skip over it.

Sam

Okay. So I'll talk about it.

Jaclyn

Okay.

Sam

Because it is such a good point.

Jaclyn

You're lucky you're cute.

Sam

That's right. But so, okay. So I'll read back what you just said. It's wild how often we become self-fulfilling prophecies by one, not believing in ourselves, meaning we don't believe in ourselves. And then two, holding back ourselves as a result. So the self-fulfilling prophecy is we fail or come up short because we didn't believe in ourselves and then we hold ourselves back and that causes us to come up short. And then that's a cycle and that continues and that continues and it builds that narrative where it was just as simple or the simple fix is to replace that narrative that non-belief or that lack of belief with belief, and it just changes the whole cycle.

Jaclyn

It changes the whole cycle, which brings us back to the frequency of belief, the primary tenant of this whole Freq Show podcast, because it changes everything. It's like it changes the very cellular makeup of how you exist in this world, physically, emotionally, mentally. So some of the things you said here, too, And I'm laughing because you were like, I'm going to read back what you just said. And I'm like, no, you're going to read back what you said. But you also said you have to fake it till you make it. Sometimes you have to try, fail and try again. And then something my dad has said for years and years and years, which is this. Thank you, Phil Jensen. Competence breeds confidence. And it's so true. The more you do something and the more agile and adept you get at doing that thing, the more confident you will become. You can't expect yourself to be fully confident in something you've never done before. But the more you do it, the more confidence you will acquire along the way because you're going to get better and better and better and better and better.

Sam

Yep.

Jaclyn

Yeah. And again, another tool for this is the five-second rule by Mel Robbins. I mentioned this in the previous episode, but her tool of counting backward, five, four, three, two, one, and then physically getting up and taking action, writing the email, doing the exercise, making a game plan, et cetera, that changes the momentum. So just get going, take action.

Sam

And one thing I want to add on this is self-belief isn't believing that you're going to be great. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That doesn't mean you're going to be any good when you start, right?

Jaclyn

It takes

Sam

time. You

Jaclyn

guys should hear some of the first songs I ever wrote. They were terrible.

Sam

And that's why competence breeding confidence is so important is because you got to show up to give yourself a chance. You got to have confidence or self-belief that you can become what you want to be, but you're not going to be it just because you decided that that's what you want to be day one. It takes repetition. It takes failure. It takes learning. It takes experience in order to build that competence. And then ultimately, that's when the expertise confidence comes into play. You're not going to have that day one.

Jaclyn

I think another interesting concept to play with here, and this is one that some would may call a little bit woo-woo. But there's a quote that I love and it's, if God is the ocean, we are all a cup, okay? A cup of that water. So that means we are all, we all have substance in us that is of God. We are all part of what could be called the universal consciousness. And so what that means to me is, I'll just bring it right back to songwriting. I think Taylor Swift is, truly one of the best songwriters that has ever walked the face of the earth. She is such a skilled songwriter. And instead of that making me jealous, what that says to me is, if Taylor Swift is a cup of that water, and I am also a cup of that water, it means that the essence that is in her is also that same essence that is in me. And so that greatness may have to be honed. It may have to be chipped away at. It may have to be sharpened. But I have that same potential within me that she has. Now, I'm not focusing on songwriting at this point in my life anymore, but it goes for anything else. Maybe it's interior design accolades or getting into great shape, any of those things. I'm made from that same stardust, that same God substance that everybody else is. And so that same potential is within me.

Sam

Sure. Absolutely.

Jaclyn

Yeah. And one of the things you asked before we got a little sidetracked was, do you have some examples where you just all out believed in yourself, maybe when there were doubters and you just crushed it? I think we all have doubters at any given point in our time. And I think, like you said, it's often family and people that are close to us. I'm not going to call anybody out because it's just the way that it is and we all experience it. That aside... There was a time in Savannah, Georgia. I remember you and I were there and we had a come to Jesus moment where you called me out and you were like, you say that you want to be a full-time musician, but what are you doing right in this moment? And it was at a period of my life where I was just feeling so frustrated. I'd had several bands fall apart, several recording things that just weren't good enough to come out. And I was feeling lost. And you gave me a very swift kick in the butt that I needed. And what I took from that was, okay, I've got to get a band together and I've got to get some gigs on the books and I've got to do it now. So I gave myself a deadline. I think I gave myself like seven to 10 days. It was pretty radical for getting a band together, getting set list together, getting stuff together. But I believed that I could do it. And I also believed that the universe would conspire with me, that God would conspire with me because my intention was very pure. And within those seven to 10 days, I had a brand new band lineup. I had the drummer. I had the guitar player. I had the bassist. I had myself at a keyboard player. I had a set list and I had at least one or two gigs lined up. So I crushed that. You crushed me for a second with your honesty, but I needed it. And then I went and crushed.

Sam

Well, that should be another podcast episode.

Jaclyn

Yeah.

Sam

Is the brutal honesty. Yeah. Partnership sometime in marriages.

Jaclyn

Yeah. Iron sharpens iron. And then I have one other example. And I've talked about this just briefly on a previous episode in Freq Show. But 50th Street, when you were on your guy's trip with zero cell phone service, And the biggest deal that ever came through our desk came through and I couldn't get a hold of you. But I had so much belief in my own nose, so to speak, like my own sniffer and sniffing out the deal. And I turned to a couple of trusted real estate buddies and asked them to look over it. And I made it happen without you being there. And normally you're my analyzer and I'm the creative, but I did it anyway because I thought if not now, when? And these are exactly the kind of deals we're going after. So if I let this slip through my fingers, I'm going to be way more disappointed than if we get it and we have to sell it right away or something like that. So I went forward, I put the earnest money down and it ended up being, an incredibly almost six-figure deal for us within a matter of two weeks. So that was something, that was an area I crushed.

Sam

Yeah.

Jaclyn

What about you? Do you have any examples?

Sam

Well, I also want to point out that self-belief, it doesn't mean that there's an absence of doubt in the process, right? Like that example there, or both of those examples, it's not that... there is a doubt in the process and that if you are, uh, a practicing self belief that, and you're doing it right, that you're not going to have any doubt like that. It still exists, right? It's just,

Jaclyn

it's

Sam

human. The belief to overcome that doubt is stronger. So that is really, really good.

Jaclyn

Do you have any examples that you want to add or should we end with a question?

Sam

Um,

Jaclyn

You've crushed it so many times.

Sam

Absolutely crushed. Gosh, I think... I can't think of one that's going to be like... I can't think of one off the top of my head. I don't know why I didn't put one in the notes, but I should have. But I think yours were great. Yeah. Yeah. This is my like a...

Jaclyn

Well, I can think of one for you.

Sam

Okay.

Jaclyn

It's end of 2020 and you have a come to Jesus moment with your former partners and you realize you guys are in a pickle and then you dug out. Yeah. And you did so with flying colors.

Sam

Yeah. You

Jaclyn

crushed that.

Sam

Well, there was... Crushed. Yeah, that was less self-belief and more self-preservation, I feel like, than anything. I

Jaclyn

love your honesty.

Sam

That was one of those back-against-the-wall moments, and there was no other choice to kind of dig out of the situation. But I will say this, that's one of those moments competence breeds confidence builders in that after going through that process, uh, facing similar situations now are much less, uh, much less, uh,

Jaclyn

uh, big hairy monster.

Sam

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you level up, but yeah.

Jaclyn

So question to end with, are you willing to bet on yourself? And if you have the courage to do so, um, What would it feel like to inject radical self-belief into that bet?