Jaclyn

We are so excited to welcome you to The Freq Show podcast where we center our content around the frequency of belief.

Sam

Why? Because when we overcome fear and self-doubt, basically by getting out of our own way, we can make the impossible possible.

Jaclyn

And in this podcast, we are going to share our favorite mindset tools and life lessons that have completely transformed our lives and businesses. So without further ado,

Sam

Let's get Freqy. Hi, and welcome to The Freq Show. I'm Sam Thurmond and joined by my wife.

Jaclyn

Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. And today we are going to talk about going all in. All in. All in.

Sam

Let's do it.

Jaclyn

I recently read Be Useful, Seven Tools for Life by Arnold Schwarzenegger. And by the way, that was a fantastic book. I highly recommend it. So many of the concepts are things that I'm sure many of our listeners, many of you are familiar with, but the way that he describes taking action on these tools in the context of his life story is just so incredibly inspiring. So several of my takeaways that I want to talk about are in this episode, because if Arnold did anything, he went all in on everything that he put his mind to in his life. And I'm going to paraphrase this, but basically he said, plan B is for losers. Plan B is for losers. So we want to talk about going all in in that context and not even allowing yourself to have a plan B. And the reason I like this approach, I like it for several reasons. Going all in, number one, it activates the frequency of belief, right? The first episode we dropped was all about the frequency of belief, and that is the primary tenet of the Freq Show podcast. And when you give yourself only one option to reach your goal, it naturally gives you two choices, right? To believe it can be done or not to believe that it can be done. And when you choose to believe that it can be done, the power of that belief amplifies because you aren't giving yourself any escape routes. Do you have anything you want to add to that? I feel like you do. I feel like you're itching.

Sam

No, I'm over here. For the listeners, I'm fighting off a cold, so I'm trying to not let my nose whistle in the microphone. Oh,

Jaclyn

and here I thought you were just like itching to say something. No deep thoughts. I'm just trying not to mouth freeze. Okay. Well, number two, the reason for going all in. It forces you to get clear on what you are doing and get going on it because you don't have anything else to fall on. A plan B is a safety net. And sometimes a safety net is exactly what we don't need. We all figure out what we're made of when our backs are against the ropes. I think there'll probably be a few sports metaphors in this, but that's a perfect way to picture it. You figure out who you are when you're put in a tough position. And I don't know about you guys. Well, actually, I probably do know about you guys if you're listening to this podcast. You want to be somebody who, when your back is against the ropes, you're ready to go. We don't want to live with our backs against the ropes all the time, right? We don't want to live in a pressurized state all of the time. But a healthy amount of pressure can be extremely beneficial, especially when we are working on achieving things we haven't achieved before. There's an element of fear there that is necessary, and there's an element of bravery and courage that goes along with it that we have to tap into if we want to overcome that fear.

Sam

Yeah. Yeah. Can I add something now? I do have a thought now. Yeah. I read a book a long time ago called Fear of Anna. I think you may have given it to me. I did. You're usually the one that gives me the books to read. I just

Jaclyn

sneak them in there.

Sam

Yeah. The concept of that book was really good and really impactful for me. And so the basic concept was using fear as a motivator. So talking about having your back up against the wall, having no other options. And fear is the biggest motivator. You see it in the media and politics, and it permeates the world right now. And that fear is used to manipulate and motivate people. But what the concept of this book was, was you can channel that fear and recognize that fear as something other than what Something to be afraid of and something that gives you anxiety and keeps you up at night and to worry about. And you recognize it as, hey, this fear is just energy circulating in my body. that is telling me, hey, get up and go do something about whatever it is that's on your mind. Our

Jaclyn

feelings only have power if we give them power. So fear only has power if we are putting energy into that fear or focusing

Sam

on the fear. And how you channel it.

Jaclyn

So going back to the reasoning that I have for going all in, number one was it activates the frequency of belief. Number two is it forces you to get clear on what you are doing and get going on it because you don't have anything else to fall on. Number three, if you have a plan B, it allows you to doubt yourself. And doubt, my friends, we all know this, doubt is poisonous. Also, that doubt will get you thinking about plan B, which will cause you to put energy into plan B without even thinking about plan B. Where you focus your energy, your energy flows, or where your focus goes, your energy flows. So think about focusing your energy on being all in on option A. As Arnold says, we function better with no safety net and plan B, like I mentioned before, is a safety net. Get rid of the safety net. I know that sounds scary, but we're never going to know what we're made of until we go all in. Number four that I have, this is the last reason that I came up with for going all in on what it is that you want. And it's this, the attitude of going all in emanates a high frequency and high frequencies attract better opportunities. If you are an investor and you meet with two people who are seeking an investment, one who is absolutely all in on their idea and one who is partially in, partially out, who are you going to invest your money with? The person who's all in. We don't invest in ideas, really. We invest in people. But to get to that point of even seeking investment for anything, you have to invest in yourself by going all in.

Sam

I love it. And here's another thought as far as what plan Bs, definitely don't have a plan D, but what plan Bs can do to you is there's a lag time between inputs and outputs whenever you're doing something, whether it's exercising and eating right and trying to lose weight or it's starting a business. And you're taking the steps to start a business. And from that point until you're making a profit or generating a profit, there's a lag time between that. And I think what happens a lot is if we have that plan B, that plan B starts looking a lot better, a lot more appealing during that lag time. from the input to the output of plan A. And unfortunately, we can give up just a little too soon because we're in that lag time. And we have that plan B to kind of fall back on and create that comfort that we naturally tend to seek.

Jaclyn

Yeah, and we talked about comfort zones in one of our earlier episodes, maybe two, episode two, three, four, one of those. And what we... pinpointed was that comfort zones really aren't that comfortable. They're just what we know. And our ego keeps us in that place because our ego wants to stay in a state of knowing what's going on and not feeling fear, right? But those comfort zones prevent us from knowing what we're capable of and from expansion. And in my opinion, and in all the literature that I've read, If you want to be happy, if you want to be successful, if you want to even feel peace in your life, you need to be in a state of expansion. We are here to grow, to expand, to test what we're made of. Yep. It's all part of the process. So Sam, I think we should talk about our real estate projects, Casa Pura and Villa Secreta, or Villa Secreta, because they're perfect examples of us putting our money where our mouth is and going all in. When I say that, I'm like already sweating a little bit because we really have gone all in on these projects. So what do you have to say about this and what do you think the potential upside of going all in is with these projects?

Sam

Well, I think going all in in general, just my general perspective around it is going all in gives you the absolute best opportunity to win. And whatever you're doing, um, you know, to put it in, in terms of increases the odds, right. To put it in terms of, you know, sports analogies, uh, growing up, my dad always told me that you can't go out there and you can't play timid. You can't go on the field timid cause you're going to get run over or you're going to get hurt. You got to go all in and you got to play full speed. Um, And hold nothing back. Absolutely nothing back. Because you're already out there. You're on the field of play. You're on the battlefield. And it's a fast pace. Everybody's running around, whether it's business, sports, whatever it is. And if you are second guessing yourself and you're timid and you're just not, a lot of times you have to fake it till you make it too, right? Early on. Because we're not, we don't have the experience under our belt to, to necessarily naturally have that confidence. Some people do. But a lot of us, until we have that experience, we don't have that level of confidence that we feel like we need in order to go full speed. But you just have to fake it till you make it and run as fast as you can.

Jaclyn

And the longer that I'm in the game of business, the more I'm finding that pretty much everybody I run into is in some way, shape, or form faking it until they make it.

Sam

Absolutely. The further we go, the more I realize that the people that I have looked at that I'm like, man, that's where I want to be. That's where I want to get to. And then you just realize, and they're not intentionally deceiving anyone, but you just don't realize that they're still struggling with the same struggles that you're struggling with. So just accept that and keep moving forward as just a part of the process.

Jaclyn

Nobody is above the challenges of life. It doesn't matter how smart you are, how good-looking you are, how much money you have. Nobody is above the challenges of life or insecurities.

Sam

That always surprises me when you find out, when you're able to get a peek behind the curtain with some of the people... that you just think are so far advanced and so far beyond you when they're just really not.

Jaclyn

Yeah, but the point of differentiation is that they have enough self-worth and courage to go after something and not sit in a state of comfort or overthinking or self-doubt. They take action and they go all in.

Sam

Right, right. Yep. So to bring it back to your question about how going all in relates back to our real estate projects that we have here in the Scottsdale, Phoenix, Scottsdale market, we spent quite some time basically figuring out the market and kind of getting a better understanding of where we felt like the opportunity was, where our niche would be in this market, because over the last... three, four, five years, it has been such a competitive market, one of the leading markets in the country as far as appreciation goes. And for some time, it just felt like, man, how are we going to break into this thing? I don't see where the opportunity is. People are paying way too much for these investment properties or for flips or for rental properties or whatever it is. I just don't get it. And people were... like I said, paying too much and they were only adding value. They weren't getting any equity when they purchased the property. They were only force appreciating or creating equity by improving the properties, which is if you're in real estate investing, you try to make most of your money when you buy because that's the safest route.

Jaclyn

Otherwise it can be pretty risky.

Sam

You're beholden to the market. So at any... Anyway, I think we spent quite a bit of time just understanding the market, which I think was a good decision. Sure. While at times it felt like we were dragging our feet a bit, and maybe there was some of that as well. There was

Jaclyn

definitely some of that, but also I was pregnant. I had a baby. We had like six other projects going on in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia.

Sam

Transitioning out of another business. Yeah, that we needed to finish up. We had some plan Bs. We had some plan Bs going. Dang. So let's just call that out. We definitely had some plan Bs out there. I was certainly guilty of that. So we spent probably the last two years working through our plan Bs until we finally got to the point where we felt like we had a good handle on the market, a good understanding of where our niche would be, and had the data that we felt like we needed in order to move forward. And so fast forward to this year where we started buying properties here in this market, what we call, well, I term, I don't know if you like it or don't like it, but more like entry-level luxury properties. Yeah.

Jaclyn

No, I think that's a perfect way to describe it.

Sam

Like a

Jaclyn

million plus, but we're not in the 10 million range yet.

Sam

Right, yeah. So we identified that as an area for opportunity where there's a little less competition. Because there's more risk? With the higher price point. And it seemed like the market was less impacted by... by, or sorry, the market was impacting that segment of the real estate market less than your median home price. So at any rate, okay. So we've identified where we want to be. We've gotten rid of our plan Bs. We've said, this is what we want to do. And this is where we want to do it. And this is our opportunity. And we start buying properties. We bought our own home. We're doing a full remodel with that one. We have another property in North Scottsdale that we're doing a full remodel on currently. And

Jaclyn

we also purchased North 50th Street and then sold it the day after we closed on it from an awesome opportunity. So we've done three

Sam

pretty large... Well, we had the property up in Cottonwood as well. So we've had a few properties. We have multiple properties up in Cottonwood. So there are a few up there. Yep, yep. But trying to land the plane here, trying to get to the point. The point is now we're in this market where this is a step up for us from a price point on the single family side. We're used to working in the Southeast in Georgia and South Carolina in a lower price point. So there's a little less exposure, less risk, let's call it, involved. Great training ground, I would say. But now we're stepping up to a higher price point. We're going to have to put a much better product on the market in order to command what we're... That's what I've always wanted to do. So it's

Jaclyn

my dream come true.

Sam

Right, it's what we want to do. We want to be much more hands-on, much more involved, cutting no corners whatsoever in any aspect. Very

Jaclyn

artisan.

Sam

Right.

Jaclyn

Very, very artisan.

Sam

But... Man, those things are expensive to carry every month. They're pricey.

Jaclyn

What does it cost us to carry our Via Secreta project?

Sam

Yeah, so probably around $10,000 a month just to carry it. Just to have and own the property is around $10,000 a month, paying for the construction. paying for the loan on the debt on the properties. That does not include any labor, any

Jaclyn

renovation,

Sam

any

Jaclyn

cabinetry, no countertops, no pool installation.

Sam

That's no work that's being done. That's just carry cost. So... As it relates to going all in, we're all in on these things and we have no choice. Like this is not something that we can just sit back and let a week go by, let two weeks go by and not be taking massive action on, have our poop in a group to where we are moving forward on a daily basis and pushing things forward on a daily basis. We can't have... vendors who are jerking us around, who are causing timeline delays, who are not doing the standard of work that we need them to work. So this is forcing us to dial up our intensity across the board, not only with ourselves and with our own discipline, but holding all of those people around us accountable to this level, this standard that we are now holding ourselves

Jaclyn

to. Well, look, our goal is to to make beckon our real estate brand into a household name like Magnolia in Waco has become a household name. We are trying to do something that is challenging but also really elevates the way that people live. And with that, our brand is at the forefront of our minds constantly. And so when you are creating relationships with, let's say, cabinetry makers or countertop fabricators or people who are doing tiling, I think my growth edge in this process is my natural bent is to be a very friendly, kind, understanding, fun-loving person. I love having... peaceful, joyful relationships with people. That is always my default goal.

Sam

You're really good at it.

Jaclyn

Well, thank you. But what I'm finding is in the world of home renovation, especially unfortunately with women at this point, and I may get some flack for saying this, if you are too nice, you are taken advantage of. And that is what I am learning today. the hard way. And so my growth edge is to still be myself, but to be more direct and in some ways more demanding because we have got to get the job done and done extremely

Sam

well. People don't like to be held accountable

Jaclyn

no

Sam

matter what. And it's not... You can't be... I mean, I'm sure there is a correlation as far as men and women dealing with vendors or whatever it is in the marketplace. But I've been taken advantage of a ton of times because I was too timid or I was too reluctant and I didn't feel like I had the authority to... to say what needed to be said or hold someone to a certain level of accountability. The reality of it is people do not want to be held accountable, and if they haven't been held to that certain standard before, it's going to be uncomfortable for them because they're used to the... a lower standard. They're used to the norm where corners can be cut. Things don't have to be perfect. And people accept certain levels of work. But now we're coming in and we're not allowing that. There's got to be

Jaclyn

pushback. But

Sam

it's going to filter out those people that we are going to work with and the people that we're not going to work with. I was just

Jaclyn

going to say that. I don't like playing the woman card. I don't feel like I'm a victim in any way, shape, or form. But there is a difference working with men and women. There is. And it's just the way that it is. But like we've talked about and like you said yesterday, if there is a lack of respect or a lack of action being taken after I've been clear in my communication... Those are people we're just not going to work with anymore.

Sam

Right.

Jaclyn

We don't have the time or we don't need to.

Sam

Yeah. And we don't need them. We don't, we love relationships. Certainly. Yeah. And I'm very loyal to a fault. We love friends or people to be our friends, but this is business. You know, this is costing, we, you know, it's costing four or $500 a day just to carry this thing. And then when you have multiple projects, you know, that adds up quickly. So this isn't about, I hope you like me and I like you. This is about are you getting done what you need to get done and are you doing it to the level, to the standard that we need it to be done?

Jaclyn

Yeah. So back to my question, what do you think the upside is though for taking on this kind of risk versus... I mean, anytime you invest in real estate, there's risk involved. Anytime you invest in business or invest in yourself, there's risk involved. But compared to our real estate investments in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, the ones that were more entry level versus the more risky investments that we're doing now, investments that we have researched heavily and are very confident in. But what do you think the potential upside is for taking on more risk? Because there's always an upside.

Sam

Well, one, let's define risk. I don't think that they are riskier. I think we've identified the niche in the market that mitigates that risk. I think that what I would just call it is more exposure from a financing standpoint. Perfect. But there are multiple aspects, upsides to transitioning to this higher price point and just these sorts of projects in general. The one other than the monetary, potential monetary upside where the margins are much larger, I think what is just as important and really what is one of the driving factors for both of us is we get to, this is a expression. You know, these are forms of art for us to be able to do exactly what we're talking about here, not sacrifice anything in the process. And that in itself is a form of expression.

Jaclyn

Oh, it totally is. You walk into this house. It's like writing

Sam

a song. This is everything. that we envisioned it to be. And this is our standard. This is who we are. This is the product that we're putting forward. So I think the joy and the purpose and the fulfillment that we take from that is probably... The biggest

Jaclyn

upside. I mean, truly, this has been a dream come true for me. After I stopped with full-time music and songwriting, I had to channel that creativity somewhere. And my goal, I mean, you know how much I have loved design and renovation and homes since forever. And so to be able to do this is, like you said, the purest form of expression that In every step of every renovation that we're doing, I'm thinking about the family that's gonna live there and how they're gonna interact with the space and how they're gonna live in it and how they're gonna entertain in it. And it is such a joy to pick out those materials and put together the colors and put together the different aspects that go into design because there's an end product and it's a wonderful family that's gonna be moving in. So I love that you said that. Okay. Let's go to, let's address getting over the fear when you go all in.

Sam

Okay. I think that the reference that I had here, and I forget, it was, I feel like I get most of my inspiration from IG Reels at this point. I mean,

Jaclyn

I get so much of my inspiration

Sam

from IG Reels too. That's most of my references, but it was a Michael Jordan reference that I saw the other day and it was alluding to the fact that Michael Jordan was, what made him so great was the fact that that he was the most present person on the court. And what they meant by the most present was he was in the moment because he didn't even let fear enter his mind. He didn't even let the thought of missing a shot or the thought of losing a game enter his mind. And by doing that, he was completely present. He was completely in the game. So he was all in in the game. And what And by doing that, there's no space for fear. So this is a muscle that has to be developed. And it's one that we have to come back to because if we're not working that muscle out, fear will creep in. And it really is as simple a task as blocking those thoughts from entering your mind. When you start to have that thought, that fearful thought that, that has that chain reaction that takes one thought to the next to the next and sends you in a spiral. It is just getting in the habit of recognizing that and choosing not to go into it. Just saying, hey, I'm not doing this. I'm going to refocus on the potential outcome, the potential positive outcome of this and rewiring your brain to where that becomes a muscle and that becomes a habit.

Jaclyn

I think it's also worth noting with Michael Jordan in particular, he missed in his NBA career something like 900 shots. Don't quote me on the exact number, but the reason he was-

Sam

How many did you say?

Jaclyn

900 something shots.

Sam

Oh, I'm sure

Jaclyn

it was way more than that. 9,000 maybe. 9,000. Okay. I'm not the sports metaphor girl. You are, but you'll get the gist of what I'm saying here. And it's this, the reason Michael Jordan was the most successful or is the most successful basketball player of all time is because he was willing to fail. But he didn't focus on the failures. He didn't focus on the missed shots. He focused on the made shots.

Sam

Yeah, he was willing to fail, but it wasn't like, he wasn't actively thinking about it. Exactly. There's a big difference.

Jaclyn

There's a huge difference. Well, where you place your focus is, Your energy goes. And so he was focused on making the shot. And if he didn't make the shot, it didn't kill his game. And I think that's something that so many of us, we allow that little mistake, that such a human mistake to completely thwart us or send us into a spiral of self-doubt or fear or whatever. So if we can just... Let those hiccups be simply hiccups. We will be setting ourselves up to increase the odds of success.

Sam

Yep. Okay. I agree.

Jaclyn

And then a couple more points to talk about. Let's talk about anxiety and anxiety being a result of holding back. I think you should take that one.

Sam

Okay. Let me take a peek here. This goes back to what I... refer to with the Fearvana book and viewing fear and anxiety. I think both of those things are very closely correlated or very similar.

Jaclyn

They're like

Sam

sisters or brothers. Energy or vibration and frequency is the core concept of our podcast. And those are very similar frequencies. And low frequencies. Yeah. And how I try to view that when I'm in a healthy mindset, how I try to view that anxiety is as a motivator, as, hey, there's something you're not taking action on that you need to take action on. So sit down and dump it on a piece of paper, write everything out that is entering your mind. And he does that every night. Right, everything out that enters your mind, that is taking up space in your mind, that is piling up and making you feel this anxious energy. Don't let it live rent-free. Right, yeah. It's there. The energy is there for a reason. It's because you're not expending that energy in the act of taking action where you can take action. Yeah. And it may be creating thoughts of what ifs or negative projecting. What is it called when you start to... Future trip? Yeah, future tripping. It might start creating those thoughts, but there's probably an action that you're not taking. Oh, for sure. In that process. Because we can only control what we can control. We can only do what we can do. So we can't future trip on... the 99% of the stuff that is out of our control. But most of the time, if I have anxiety, it's because I haven't taken action on something that I know that I should. So that's what anxiety typically is for me.

Jaclyn

And a great book on nipping this in the bud is The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins. And I'll talk about this in some more episodes this month because I'm reading the book right now, but it's fantastic. Essentially, anytime you have a thought and you let more than five seconds go by, essentially your brain shuts it down. And so the concept is count backward, five, four, three, two, one, like a rocket ship taking off, and then take action. Physically move your body, get up, do the workout, write the email, write the text, And take action and don't allow your mind to self-sabotage your whatever it is.

Sam

I think those two things, taking action and then flexing that muscle that doesn't allow those, that just squashes those thoughts as they start

Jaclyn

rising. Those thoughts are perfectly human. There's nothing wrong with you if you have those fearful thoughts or those doubtful thoughts. They just make you human. But... we are stronger than our thoughts and we can do hard things. So absolutely. The last point I want to make is not going all in on what it is that you desire to do is a form of self-sabotage. You're giving yourself an exit strategy. It's like having one foot in and one foot out. And it's going to be really hard to create traction. It's going to be really hard to believe in yourself. It's going to be really hard to get other people to believe in what you're doing if you are not all in. Anything you want to add to that?

Sam

I mean, I feel like we could do a, we should do, did we do a self-sabotage already?

Jaclyn

We talked about self-sabotage. Yeah. I don't think the whole episode was on self-sabotage.

Sam

I feel like we could do it. That'd be a good episode to do.

Jaclyn

Well, let's do it in January.

Sam

Yeah.

Jaclyn

Okay, so question to end with is, what are you going to go all in on? Because your destiny lies in your hands and each step you take can be one step closer to realizing it. Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com and on social media.

Sam

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @Beckon Living, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high-frequency products just for our Freqy community. Cheers to high-frequency living.