Welcome to The Freq Show podcast, hosted by Sam Thurmond and Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. Sam is an Air Force Academy graduate and veteran who, after his service and two deployments, escaped the nine to five grind, but building a real estate investing business that has to date accounted for over $50 million in real estate transactions. Jaclyn is an award-winning musician, former owner of boutique branding agency Steel International, real estate investor, and designer for luxury multi-million dollar homes.
JaclynWe are so excited to welcome you to The Freq Show podcast, where we center our content around the frequency of belief.
SamWhy? Because when we overcome fear and self-doubt, basically by getting out of our own way, we can make the impossible possible.
JaclynAnd in this podcast, we are going to share our favorite mindset tools and life lessons that have come Hello, and welcome back to The Freq Show. I'm Jaclyn Steele Thurman, joined by my amazing husband.
SamI'm Sam Thurman.
JaclynAnd we are here to bring you episode number four.
SamThat's right. And today we are going to talk about comfort zones and specifically why comfort zones are the enemy if you want to optimize your potential in this lifetime. And we're going to talk about comfort zones. I think there's a misconception of what a comfort zone is. I think that a lot of times we view it as sitting at the house in the lazy boy watching TV. I
Jaclynthink that's what most people view it as like literal comfort.
SamYeah. Like literal comfort. Like I don't want to, I don't want to stray from comfort. from the warm and fuzzies of life. And while that is true, that can be a comfort zone. I think more often than not, and the more constructive way to look at, analyze a comfort zone is one that is actually not that comfortable.
JaclynYeah, truly.
SamIt's really
Jaclynjust
Samwhat you're used to. And comfort zones are, You know, you'd think that would be your happy place, but I think in most cases, as far as our conversation goes today, the comfort zones are not what makes us happy. It's what keeps us stuck in a cycle or stuck where we are. Stuck in a
Jaclynstory.
SamYep. Yeah, exactly. That we're telling ourselves and preventing us from moving into the unknown or moving beyond that comfort zone.
JaclynYeah.
SamSo I think it actually might, it's one of those things, whether it's a bad relationship or a job that you hate or financial struggles, what story are you telling yourself? What's your money story that keeps you going? Where you currently are, you know, a lot of times I think that we have these ingrained stories in our minds that, you know, I don't deserve this or I don't deserve that or I don't deserve happiness. Those are comfort zones, right? Because that's what we know and that's what we're used to. And I heard something really interesting. I think it was a reel of Jordan Peterson a week or so ago, and he was talking about He was talking about Exodus. The
Jaclynbook Exodus in the Bible.
SamRight. And the Jews leaving Egypt and how they were complaining in the desert. And it all came down to they didn't actually want the freedom that they had at that point because the catchphrase that he had was, better the tyrant we know than the desert we don't. Because the desert was the unknown. It represented... their freedom and their ability to, you know, have autonomy over their lives. But they, in the moment looked back on their time in Egypt as slaves, where they had the, the, the comforts of, um, uh, that they were used to, but they were slaves, but they were preferred to, uh, um, After they had their freedom, preferred to go back to that.
JaclynThere's a saying, better the devil you know than the devil you don't. But that's not true. It's an awful, awful, awful saying.
SamRight. So how did the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves define our comfort zones?
JaclynYeah. I mean, that's a big question. And I want to keep it simple. So I would say our egos want to keep us small. Our egos really want to keep us small and that's really the job of the ego. It's to protect our current state because any kind of growth is a threat to that perceived safe state. And if we are not aware of this on a conscious level, then our subconscious along with our ego runs the show. And the ego isn't all bad. It's not out to get us, but the ego wants to keep us safe. in what is familiar. So even if you're in, excuse my language, a shitty situation, the ego is going to want to keep you there because of the saying, better the devil you know than the devil you don't. And so getting beyond our comfort zones is it's essential that we understand the role of the ego is to want to keep us in this place. And I think so often when we're talking about like recognizing the ego on a conscious level and on a subconscious level, these holdups take the form of limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are often taking the lead and creating the trajectory of where we're going to go if we are not in the driver's seat. And a few examples of limiting beliefs are these, and you touched on some of them earlier too, Sam, but I'm not qualified enough, not smart enough. I'm not in shape enough. I'm not good looking enough. A lot of limiting beliefs center around enoughness, right? We're not enough of something to be able to do X, Y, or Z. And some others might sound like, well, rich people are not good because they must have done awful things to become rich. There are so many limiting beliefs around money or I'll never be able to go on that trip because I won't have the money. And this results in your staying exactly where you are. These limiting beliefs just reinforce your current state. And if you truly like where you are, then great. But if you don't, and I would venture to guess that if you are listening to this podcast, you want to expand and grow and challenge yourself, that feeling of stuckness, if you choose to repeat those limiting beliefs and actually believe them, that feeling of stuckness will amplify year after year after year until you do something about it. It will literally make you miserable and could make you physically ill. So if we don't consciously correct these limiting thought patterns, we'll never move past them. And as negative as these limiting thoughts are, they keep us in the ego's comfort zone, right? They keep us small. They keep us, like if you're watching this on video, I'm doing air quotes, safe. They don't actually keep us safe. But stopping this cycle does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as recognizing the thought that you're having, stopping yourself and choosing a different approach. I don't like to overcomplicate things, especially if you are in a state of fear or in a limiting state or in a state of self-doubt. Let's not make it complicated. Let's just recognize it for what it is. And I want you to think about this as the same way that you type on a computer. Your limiting belief or thought is just that. Your brain types it out, but you have the power to stop the cursor, to hit delete, delete, delete, and replace that thought with something more empowering. So your brain may type it out, but you have the power to stop the cursor, hit delete, and start over. And an easy way to start playing with this is with morning affirmations. I love doing this because they get your brain thinking on the frequency of belief first thing in the morning. And Roxy Nafusi, who wrote Manifest, has a great four-step affirmation that I love and I've been loving saying this over the last couple of weeks. It's, I'm excited for what today will bring. I can handle anything that comes my way. I am open to all opportunities. I am magnetic. Y'all, we have to train our brains the same way that we train our bodies. It's a daily thing. It's a daily thing. It's a daily practice. Um, so Sam, what are some of the ways that you overcome comfort zone cycles?
SamWell, I think the main thing is, uh, our relationship and referred to it at initially is having that person to call you on your BS. And it doesn't have to be, you know, super aggressive or anything like that. But oftentimes I don't even think that we are aware of our comfort zones a lot of times because we have gotten so used to them. And also the people that we surround ourselves with are people in a lot of cases, probably in the same cycle or in that same place. So often it can be hard to get that picture of contrast of what you really need. But I think, at least in our relationship, because we both are of that mindset of we want to progress, we want to grow, we want to do big things, we are... both vested, we have a vested interest in the other person. I
Jaclynwant you to be primed.
SamRight. Overcoming those comfort zones or whatever, you know, we talked about in the previous episode, the limiting beliefs. So it's so, so helpful to have that person that can recognize those for you.
JaclynYeah. And it doesn't have to be a romantic partner. It could be a mentor. It could be a great friend, somebody who wants to do big things alongside of you.
SamRight. But if you don't have that person, Being introspective, I think if you really take a step back and you get out the pen and the paper and you write down what's causing you angst, because probably at the end of the day, our comfort zones, something within our comfort zone is what's actually causing us angst. And what we actually want is beyond that angst. So what we want is on the other side of discomfort. You hear people say that a lot. So I think doing some self-auditing is important.
JaclynSelf-auditing is huge. And if you need a boost of inspiration or encouragement, I mean, listen to this podcast. There are endless amounts of YouTube videos and other podcasts that are encouraging. My former podcast, Self-Worth with Jaclyn Steele, is all about uplifting people. So there are sources outside of yourself. If you don't have a direct relationship with somebody who can remind you of who you are and lift you up, there are other sources. Great, fantastic books too, like Do the Impossible, like Manifest, like Jen Sincero's books, You Are a Badass. Her whole series of books are fantastic. So Reach beyond yourself. You don't have to do the work of reflection, but don't get so far in your head that you get stuck. Don't be afraid to reach out and get the help that you need to keep going. So what kind of comfort zones are we working through personally right now? I'll go first. And then do you have an example that you want to share?
SamYeah, I have something.
JaclynOkay. So I would say that... you know in your gut if you're settling for something or if you are withdrawing into old patterns. And when that happens, and it happens to all of us, so there's no use in beating yourself up, what I tell myself is run the other way. I seriously tell myself that. I'll be like, run the other way. And if my ego is telling me to do something that keeps me small and I consciously try and do the opposite. And all it is is awareness. If I feel like I'm falling into an old habit that hasn't served me in the past, I say run the other way, or I do the opposite of what I would have done in the past. And that has been a game changer for me.
SamYeah.
JaclynYeah. And current comfort zone for me, I would say the first thing that comes to mind is body image issues. And I've talked about this before in friendships. I've talked about it on my other podcast, but I think so... Many women struggle with this and it keeps us small. It keeps us from showing up a thousand percent. It keeps us from living on that highest vibrational frequency. And so my comfort zone, so to speak, and I've come so far in this and I want to give myself credit for it, but my comfort zone, so to speak, is to be critical of my self-image. And I'm asking myself now, again, a great question leads to a great answer. I'm asking myself questions like, How would my life be different if I wasn't carrying the heaviness of this negative body image? If I wasn't worried about the foods that I'm eating constantly, it's good to have awareness. I want to be healthy. I want to eat clean, et cetera, but it doesn't need to be an obsession. Okay. And the truth is if I wasn't carrying this weight, if I wasn't not physical weight, if I wasn't carrying this emotional mental weight of worrying about my body image, my whole life would feel so different, right? I'd have so much more energy to bring into situations. I would show up differently physically because I wouldn't carry around self-consciousness. And I'm not saying that I do all the time. I don't. But when I feel like I'm being tested or I'm being attacked, that's generally an area of that gets attacked. Yeah, I'd have a lot more energy to show up in my life and relationships. I would act differently in social settings. I would have a sense of freedom as I move around in the world. My frequency would increase because I wouldn't be repeating limiting beliefs to myself throughout the day. This is huge. And to expand past this comfort zone, and I'm doing that in air quotes, I'm taking action. And I do this every day. I move it like I lift weights, right? I'm building a muscle. Physically, I eat clean, I work out, I lift weights, I'm prioritizing sleep and stress management. Those are all super important things for how you feel and how you look. But even more importantly, mentally, I'm just creating awareness around how I speak to myself. And I'm slowly but surely changing those repeat, those repetitive negative thoughts to be more positive ones. And for instance, example, Maybe the old thought was, well, your stomach is still bigger than it used to be before you had a kid. And I can now bring awareness to that, not that let that take the lead and stop it, hit delete and go, you just had a baby love. And each week that stomach that created that miracle is getting stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. It's a long game. It's not a short one. It's not going to happen overnight. And Shifting that thought changes everything. We have so much power over our thoughts and we have so much power to hit delete and try again and to choose the loving thought. And on that... Self-love changes everything. And self-love starts with the way that we speak to ourselves. It's not just a bath. It's not a bar of chocolate. It's not a hot latte, though those are great things. Self-love is about how we speak to ourselves. And not only will you feel a lot better when you're cultivating self-love and when you truly authentically feel love for yourself, but it also makes you magnetic. People notice. And it makes you attractive and magnetic to other people, to opportunities, to incredible high frequency life experiences. Self-love is such a tenant for living an expansive, amazing life. But how about you, Sam? What comfort zone are you working on right now?
SamWell, I would say that... My go-to is worry. And that's so counterintuitive when we say comfort zone. And I say my comfort zone is worry. I have had a tendency to always, no matter how good things are going, my brain is like a Rolodex that will continue to search for something to worry about until I find it. And then I latch onto it. for whatever reason, I blow that thing so far out of proportion that it just completely takes over my thoughts. It takes over my energy and that becomes my focus as opposed to all the great things that are going on or the big wins that are happening. That can kind of be my default. And I don't like that. And I've been aware of it for some time now. So I've been working on it and putting a lot of focus on, just like you said, being aware, recognizing it, stopping it as it occurs. But that's probably the biggest, my comfort is in finding something to worry about.
JaclynYeah, because it's the ego's way of keeping you safe. Because if you focus all of your energy on the incredible things that we are building, it would take you out. of where you are right now.
SamRight, and it prevents, that worry means, if there's something for me to worry about, that means that I can't go on and do that next thing, or that means that I can't take that chance, or I can't take that risk, because all of these reasons, X, Y, and Z. No, I feel like I've done a pretty dang good job of overcoming that.
JaclynYou have, and you've focused so deeply on that the last couple of years.
SamAnd I think that I've probably taken A lot more risks than most people. So having that awareness of that, and I just say that to say that it is something that I'm aware of as kind of a default mode, but... that doesn't stop me and it doesn't have to stop you as long as you're aware of it and you're able to overcome those cycles. So that's the big one for me. And I really feel like I'm getting to a place where it is less and less impactful on my life because the second that i feel i it's like i've envisioned that rolodex just going in my brain like searching for that one thing that i'm gonna latch on to and the reason that i recognize it is because i've had all these wins i've had all these wins i've had all these wins over time but whenever i have that win now it's on to the next thing now now Now it's on to the next thing to worry about. Now it's on to the next thing to worry about. And then there's not this just ability to enjoy what is and be confident in myself and everything that we have going on. So it is something that, like I said, just being aware of it, overcoming it, that's a big obstacle, but that has been my default for a long time. Yeah.
JaclynDo you want to talk about like showing up on social media differently too?
SamYeah, I put that down. I think at one point in time, that was a big one for me because I just, I wasn't comfortable with it. You're
Jaclynnaturally a private person.
SamYeah, myself on social media or whatever it is. It's not that big of a deal anymore. It doesn't bother me that much anymore. I think I put that one down just because I'm doing it more now and kind of overcoming that comfort zone or going beyond my comfort zone of actually sharing on social media and what's going on.
JaclynCreating a bunch of videos.
SamYeah. Yeah. And I think a lot of that was just not feeling like I had anything to share. You know what I mean? Which
Jaclynis like so laughable for me to think about you not having anything to share. You have so much to
Samshare. Actually be interested in. But I'm to the point now where for the most part, I just don't really, it's not that I don't care. I don't want to say that I don't care, but I'm not overly concerned with sharing. Other people's perceptions at this point. Yeah.
JaclynWhich I think is super healthy. So as you can see, we don't have all the comfort zone stuff managed yet. We're still working through it. And I think it's a lifelong process, but the cool thing is we are working through it. We're growing. And when it comes to success, I don't believe that success should be measured by the amount of money you have in your bank account or how many homes you have or what kind of car you drive. I think success is measured by growth. Are you growing? Are you expanding? Are you challenging yourself to optimize your potential? Because we cannot live our best lives if we are challenge averse. So let's hit them with some questions to wrap this up.
SamAll right. So here are a few things to ask yourself. One, what does your current comfort zone look like and feel like? Number two, what limiting belief or beliefs are keeping you there? And number three, what are a couple things you could start doing today that would help you bust out of that comfort zone?
JaclynThank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com and on social media.
SamYou can find us on Instagram and TikTok @Beckon Living, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freqy community. Cheers to high-frequency living.