Voiceover

Welcome to The Freq Show podcast, hosted by Sam Thurmond and Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. Sam is an Air Force Academy graduate and veteran who, after his service and two deployments, escaped the nine-to-five grind, but building a real estate investing business that has, to date, accounted for over $50 million in real estate transactions. Jaclyn is an award-winning musician, former owner of boutique branding agency Steel International, real estate investor, and designer for luxury multi-million dollar homes.

Jaclyn

We are so excited to welcome you to The Freq Show podcast, where we center our content around the frequency of belief.

Sam

Why? Because when we overcome fear and self-doubt, basically by getting out of our own way, we can make the impossible possible.

Jaclyn

And in this podcast, we are going to share our favorite mindset tools and life lessons that have come All right. Welcome back to The Freq Show with Jaclyn Steele Thurman and... I

Sam

am Sam Thurman.

Jaclyn

We're so happy to have you here. This is episode three. The title of this episode is When You Dream Big, Expect to be Tested.

Sam

Yeah. So last episode, we talked about audacious goals. And today we're going to talk about dreaming big and how you could and should expect to be tested when you're going after something big. This may take the form of a battle in your mind or a form of obstacles physically in your way, whatever it is. But if you're doing something big, expect to be tested.

Jaclyn

Yeah. And I think it's worth noting, I'm going off script here. I'm going to do a book recommendations. There's a book called Manifest by Roxy Nafusi. And the subtitle is Seven Steps to Living Your Best Life. And in fact, if you go to beckon at beckonliving.com, And post on the post that is related to this podcast, episode three, just post a comment. You will be entered to win a copy of this book. It is such an important book. It's going to be a stocking stuffer for me to give to so many people this Christmas. But Roxy Nafusi in these seven steps says, step number one, be clear in your vision. Step number two, remove fear and doubt. Step number three, align your behavior. Four, Overcome tests from the universe. Five, embrace gratitude without caveats. Six, turn envy into inspiration. And seven, trust in the universe. Those are such incredible and specific ways to talk about manifestation. And I think the reason we wanted to talk about being tested is because we've been tested recently in so many ways. And I think we should probably start off with the story of what happened yesterday when we were in this very studio recording episode number two.

Sam

Yeah, I think that's a really good example. So what happened yesterday? We've been, well, let me take a step back. We have been preparing for this podcast. We actually did another podcast. 10 episodes. A year ago. And- for whatever reason just didn't feel right or just wasn't, um, it wasn't aligned

Jaclyn

with what we wanted for our business, I think.

Sam

Yeah. So we've actually gone through this and, um, I guess what I'm saying is we've put a lot of preparation into this. There's been a lot of buildup, a lot of hype. We wanted to do it and we've carved out the time to make it happen. And we really have high expectations and, and some big goals with the podcast, not just the podcast, but, um, what will come from the podcast. Yeah.

Jaclyn

So much deep, deep excitement.

Sam

Yeah. So all that to say, it's a big deal for us and we want it to be big and we want to do big things. And so we should be expected to be tested. So we come into the podcast studio yesterday, record the trailer, record the intro, record the first episode. Everything's going great. We're We're in a flow state. And then we start episode two. And a lot of times, I think when we experienced being attacked spiritually or tested, whatever that is, it pits us against each other to where our perspectives or our mindsets or just how we're approaching things, we're bumping heads. And so yesterday, about halfway through the episode that we were recording, you stopped, you paused us, and you gave me some feedback. Now, the feedback was nothing that should have- Well, I'll just tell them.

Jaclyn

Yeah,

Sam

I'll tell them what I said. Well, nothing that should have really thrown me off. Gotcha. But what happened was it just kind of threw me out of my rhythm, and what I was feeling like was a pretty good flow. And so then we were unable to get back on the same page, and it was just a struggle and a fight. It was clunky. Yeah. It was real clunky. It just made things clunky. And the energy just completely shifted. Yeah. Completely shifted. Yeah. So unfortunately we had to come back and rerecord, but you know, we left the studio. We kind of get into an argument. We're trying to get on the same page. And then I think you mentioned right when we're about to get home is this is going to be big. We both love each other. We both want this to be top notch. So we're just being tested, right? We're being attacked in this scenario. And it's just something that we have to overcome. And I think that really, diffuse the situation to where we could both just take a breath and say, you're right. Now, how do we move forward? How do we work through it? But in the moment, all this buildup, we're in the studio and getting this thing done that we've been wanting to do for a long time. And it kind of just felt like the wind was taken out of our sails a little bit.

Jaclyn

Yeah. And I apologize. I did not intend to take the wind out of your sails, but I can totally understand why you're You felt that way in the moment. Yeah. Yeah. All

Sam

good.

Jaclyn

So I think as we go about living on the frequency of belief and walking toward or running toward our audacious goals, talking about what happens when you are in that process is super important. Yeah. Like we said, we should expect to be tested. And sometimes these tests are just little things, but we have to recognize them for what they are and refuse to let them steer us off course. And it's important to understand, too, that these tests appear for a reason. They're not just testing to test. Sometimes, you know, there is spiritual warfare. I will not deny that. But also, sometimes it's just us getting in our own way. But These tests appear for a reason and that's because they build our resilience and our strength and they show us our own level of self-worth. They're a mirror in some ways. And in our experience, we can only attract what we feel worthy of. And tests, just like weightlifting, make us stronger and give us an opportunity to actively practice higher levels of self-worth. Self-worth is something that I have talked about in-depth on my other podcast, Self-Worth with Jaclyn Steele, because I feel like when you make an audacious goal, no matter how audacious it is, no matter how hard you work, no matter how much the universe, God partners with you to make that happen, if you don't feel worthy of it, you will self-sabotage your way out of getting it, even when you are a hair's width away. of achieving it. So we have to be aware of our self-worth and these tests are just proof that we're going in the right direction. So they don't even have to be negative, like one iota of negative. Negativity. Thank you. So what are some other examples of tests that we've experienced, do you think? I love a good example.

Sam

Well, I think two things. So whenever you start something new, start a new venture or whatever it is, you're going to be tested constantly. And that's basically just because you haven't done it before. You don't have the experience. You don't have the tools yet. So day in, day out, you're going to get tested. I can remember, um, Early on, like one of the first rental properties we had, every time that it rained, and it rains a lot in springtime in Georgia, every time it rained, my anxiety went through the roof. Oh, I remember this. Because Bristol Cone.

Jaclyn

Bristol Cone.

Sam

It was a duplex that would flood any time that it rained. And it might have been our first property.

Jaclyn

It might have been,

Sam

yeah. And

Jaclyn

our house would flood when it rained really

Sam

heavily, too. Yeah, but... It's one thing when it's your own house. But anyway, so the duplex would flood and I didn't know how to fix it, though I tried. We didn't have the money to pay somebody to fix it. So literally, we ended up, we're over there filling sandbags everywhere. digging ditches, trenches, trying to divert this water from the property. And it's just trial after trial after trial. And we picked up quite a few properties early on. So there were those tests multiplied times a hundred because we weren't buying, at that point, the nicest properties on the block by any means. So we were taking on all of these challenges. But my gosh, the... In some ways, it could have definitely put us under or broken us, but the amount, that's the other thing. The amount that we learned in such a compressed period of time because we were getting tested, getting tested, getting tested, getting tested. We had to go to court. We got sued. We had to stop the flooding. We had all of this stuff that just happened. The house burned down to the ground. The house burned down the day that it was supposed to sell. But that

Jaclyn

ended up being the best provisional

Sam

thing. Right, yeah. It was just all these things. And, you know, you start to ask yourself, you're like, man, am I just bad at this? Am I doing something wrong? So that's when the doubt can creep in when you start facing those tests and facing those challenges. But as long as you just push through them and you survive... You come out the other end and you're stronger. And then the next time that something like that happens, it's just not even that big of a deal. You just move straight forward. Or even better, you just start avoiding those scenarios altogether because you see the writing on the wall. You trust your

Jaclyn

gut.

Sam

Yeah, and you're able to make better decisions and avoid them. So those kind of tests that happen early on whenever you're starting out, those were... Huge. And they still happen to this day, but you're just better. We're better equipped to manage. Can I

Jaclyn

add one thing to that?

Sam

Yeah.

Jaclyn

I think one thing that has helped us survive lots of different hardships is having each other. And I remember at one point or another, you referred to me as like your Viking wife. And I like to refer to you too, as like my Viking husband, you're going to fight for me. I'm going to fight for you. And when you forget who you are, I'm going to remind you. And when I forget who I am, you're going to remind me. So you don't need a romantic partner to do this with, but you are who you hang out with and you are who you let into your inner circle. So when you are doing something new and Keep in mind that having support and somebody who has your back and who will remind you of who you are when you need to be reminded and be vulnerable enough to say, hey, I'm feeling very delicate right now. Remind me of who I am. Having that person as a sounding board is invaluable.

Sam

Absolutely. Yep. Iron sharpens iron. The number two, as far as some tests is, I would call complacency a test. And the reason for that is complacency leads to inconsistency. And you could apply that to relationship. You could apply that to business, whatever. But complacency leads to inconsistency because in terms of a business, When you hit a certain level, I think a lot of times it's natural to want to take your foot off the gas because you just spent the last four years filling sandbags and digging ditches, right? So you're like, oh man, I need to kick back a little bit. I've made it. I'm to a level of comfort that I can just chill a little bit and relax. But what happens when you do that is I listened to Ed Milet this morning and he talked about echoes and what he was saying with that was you sow the seeds in your business, 30, 60, 90, 120 days out, sometimes six months out. So if you are not putting the work in and putting the effort in or doing the things that you need to do today and overcoming that complacency, you're going to pay the price for it. 30, 60, 90, six months down the road, because that's when the echo hits, whether it's a positive or a negative. If you put the work in, You're going to reap the rewards. If you don't put it in, you're going to have to deal with the inconsistency or with whatever comes from taking your foot off the gas. I

Jaclyn

feel like that's convicting for me because I feel like that is one of the areas in my life, that muscle that I would really like to strengthen is consistency. And I feel like this year I have been more consistent than I have ever been. And it's not ever that I'm lazy. It's self-sabotage. I love to work hard, but there are moments where I will allow self-sabotage to take over and create inconsistencies in my routine and in my work.

Sam

Well, we have a tendency to overcomplicate things too. And I think that happens a lot when it comes to consistency because we want to feel like there's this big complex problem that we need to solve. And all we really need to do is just get up and chop wood every day and do the simple tasks that lead to the result. Yeah.

Jaclyn

When I was songwriting full time, the best songwriters in the world say, just show up and write every single day. Don't wait for inspiration to strike. You sit at the piano or you sit at the guitar or you sit with your notebook and you write every single day. Chop wood every single day. You chop vegetables every single day.

Sam

Yeah. And to reference our previous, and I know we got to keep it moving, but to reference the previous episode when we were talking about 50th Street and how you got that fantastic deal for us and it was a killer, killer deal. But all the work that led up to that and kind of the back and forth between us was I just kept trying to hammer home that, hey, You just need to talk to X many, three, four wholesalers a day. As long as you do that every day, we will ultimately have as many deals as we need over time. And I think in your mind, It

Jaclyn

wasn't happening fast enough.

Sam

Yeah, it wasn't happening fast enough. You weren't seeing the fruits of that input. You weren't seeing the output yet. So it was kind of hard for you to wrap your head around it. Oh man, this could potentially take six months. And it took

Jaclyn

almost eight.

Sam

Yeah, but once it happens, once it clicks, you're like, okay, got it. All right, well, that's simple. That's easy, the easy button. But anyway, I think that's the... That's the trick of overcoming the complacency is just having those things or those certain tasks that you can just measure daily that have to get done. If you get them done, it's a win. If they don't, then you'll have to pay for it down the road.

Jaclyn

Yeah. Tests show up all the time. All the time. And I feel like, especially after a fantastic day or a big win, you know, I can't even tell you how many times I've had a big win. And the next day there's like a heaviness hangover that I'm sure is fueled by self-sabotage because I'm chasing that feeling of being that high feeling of accomplishment. And so the next day I automatically want to feel that same feeling. And if I don't feel it, there's a sense of heaviness.

Sam

Yeah. Yeah. Especially in real estate because you get those big swings and then it's like a, it's like an addict. It's like a drug. You, you want it every day.

Jaclyn

Yeah.

Sam

Yeah.

Jaclyn

Yeah. Like if you were at our house and we're not taking care of our son, chances are, um, you would find us looking at homes or looking at deals or doing something real estate related because we genuinely love it. Um, And I want to give you guys an example of a test. And this is just something, it's minute, but the way that you react makes all the difference. So Sam and I earlier this year purchased this gorgeous Spanish style home. We got it owner financed at 3%. The stars aligned and we have been renovating it since April. We're about to move into it in November. So you know about seven months of renovation, which is, Very, very reasonable. But the cool thing is Spanish style home was all over my vision board. It has been four years and here we are renovating our dream home. And I'm very hands-on. I've been designing the home for months. Every single inch of this home has like love and energy in it. And I've been coordinating all the renovation efforts and finding cool vendors and resources. Everything is just very, very customized, right? And we've had all sorts of tests along the way. figuring out how to pay for things that were more expensive than we anticipated, addressing fears late at night when they creep in about money, timelines, projections, etc. Anyway, one of the tests I experienced recently had to do with a bunch of materials I ordered directly from Morocco. And these materials were taking a lot longer than we anticipated. Like, weeks and weeks longer, and they are the linchpin in the progress of our home. So other things in the house can't be installed until we have these pieces to do them, right? Everything is kind of chronological when it comes to a renovation. And some of the most insidious tests that are the ones that show up in the form of self-sabotage. And what I'm referring to here is over these fixtures, and it was a minute kind of silly thing considering what's going on in the world, but our brains don't always make logical sense at 3 a.m. But I woke up with this feeling like, oh my gosh, are these... items from Morocco ever going to get here because it's going to delay the countertop installation. It's going to delay the tiling. It's going to delay the painting is going to delay the installation of the doors, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. My mind started running. Then I started thinking like, I need to contact our landlord right now so that we can stay here longer. Cause we're not going to be able to get our move in date, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was one of those things where I made it out to be this huge, giant, hairy, awful thing. And Sam was like, if you can take a step back and just put things into perspective, everything is going to turn out the way that it's supposed to. And when he said that to me, I calmed down. And then the beautiful thing happened was I believed it. I got back on the frequency of belief, like everything's going to be fine. It's all going to happen as it's supposed to. And the next morning I woke up with a text message from the supplier in Morocco saying, hey, your items are being shipped out today. So, yeah, some of the most insidious tests are the ones that show up in us believing our own fears and our own self-doubt. Do you want to add anything to that?

Sam

Yeah, I think that we... And the only reason I can give you that advice is because you've given me that advice. And we kind of go back and forth when the other person is spinning off the rails a little bit. Usually the other person is... more grounded and able to calm the other person down. But I think a lot of times we create a lot of our tests in our mind by doing stuff just like this. Like, you know what? You can't do anything about it anyway. I'm sure that he'll get back to you in the morning. So One, just allow yourself not to even have to go through this and deal with this right now and control what you can control and otherwise just move on. But I think that self-sabotage is so important to recognize and to kind of do a personal audit often for someone close to you that knows you have that can kind of speak to you in a way that you can hear and understand, have them give you that feedback, or even it doesn't have to be someone that that's super close to you. Sometimes it's easier for someone that is not close to you to give you that kind of feedback and even have that kind of perspective, um, to give you that feedback off of, Hey, I see you doing this. I see you going down this trail. Um, maybe don't do that because, uh, It's leading to a little bit of self-sabotage. And I think for me, and I think you would agree with this, what that can look like for me is I can easily get distracted by opportunities outside of our... business partnership. Like if someone hits me up with, glad

Jaclyn

you're talking about this.

Sam

If someone hits me up with an opportunity over here, there's something in me that's like, oh man, I got to go run and chase that down. And I think that it's something to do with my self-worth and that I need to show that person that I can make this happen. You know, and I need, I'm looking for their validation to, to, to, for, I'm looking for validation from them to, to tell me that, oh man, I can go to Sam and Sam can figure this out or Sam can connect the dots or whatever it is. And so I'm looking for that validation outside of what we're doing. And then it distracts me from all the awesome projects that we have going on and growing our business. And I get focused on things that can just be a waste of time or that ultimately just aren't going to be as valuable if I just focused on our stuff.

Jaclyn

Yeah. And in the meantime, I kind of see what's happening and I get frustrated. So it causes not always, but it can cause some friction in our relationship. And again, I think if we look at that from an aerial perspective, we have such big audacious goals for Beckon and what we want to do with our business, with this podcast, with other businesses that we want to create within Beckon. And because that is such a big, hairy, audacious goal, we're going to be tested. We're going to be tested as a couple and we're going to be tested as individuals. And that's an individual test for you. And I'm so glad that you shared that. So yeah, self-sabotage can be brutal. And I think it's worth talking about what to look for in ourselves so our listeners will recognize what these self-sabotage tests tactics are and what these tests are and how we can move forward and overcome them. So I would say it's simple and it's just a check-in. You can start by asking yourself like, what feeling do you have right now? Is this feeling high frequency or is it low frequency? Do you feel like you're being tested? Could it be? Your inner knowing is so incredibly powerful and the answers will bubble up if you ask these questions. I would say step number two is recognize whatever is going on for what it is. Is it a test? Is it self-sabotage? Is it an obstacle that you can overcome that will make you stronger? Is it a lesson to be learned? Is it self-sabotage, masking as excuses or distractions or whatever? Getting honest with ourselves and moving from that place of honesty changes the game. And then number three, I would say, ask yourself if you're settling. Are you settling for the result, for the job, for the friendship, for the relationship, for the whatever? If in your heart you feel like you are settling, it's a test. You do not have to settle. And I'm going to repeat that again. You do not have to settle. And when you hold out for what truly feels aligned, and you refuse to settle for second best, it will reinforce, again, your resilience, your self-worth, and just how incredible real manifestation and living on the frequency of belief is. So when you are feeling self-sabotagey, when you are feeling like you are being tested, ask yourself, what feeling do you have right now? Do you really feel like you're being tested? Then Recognize whatever is going on for what it is. Can you learn from this? What can you take from it? And then lastly, ask yourself if you're settling. If you are walking down this path, does it feel like you are settling for second best? Because you do not need to settle for second best. Okay. I think we should wrap up with some questions, my love.

Sam

Awesome. Yeah, let's do it. So here they are. Are you experiencing any tests right now? And this is for the audience. Sorry, I should clarify. Yes. Are you experiencing any tests right now? Can you recognize them as a lesson and as evidence that you are getting closer and closer to reaching your goals? I think that's important. Like you said, when we started out, if you're being tested, it's evidence that you are moving in the right direction or that you're making progress. And number two, what does self-sabotage look like for you? It's very important that we audit this with ourselves and make sure that we are open and honest because that's where progress comes from. That's where growth comes from. And really, we are the only thing holding ourselves back. There's not some external force that is keeping us where we are, it all comes down to us and we have control. So how are you self-sabotaging? What does that look like for you?

Jaclyn

Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com and on social media.

Sam

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @Beckon Living, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freqy community. Cheers to high-frequency living.