I awoke at 4 AM.  The air felt cold on my bare and tender skin.  The hair stood up on my arms, my feet instinctively searched for the warmth of my partner sleeping soundly next to me, and my hands felt for the edge of a comforter that urgently needed to fill the empty and icy air around my face.  I was reminded of the stories our bodies tell without language.

I guess that’s why it’s called body language.  It’s a way to speak with no words and all of us do it instinctively.  It’s not like learning French, or Spanish, or Russian when you grew up speaking English - it’s something we are born doing.  Like a foal, who, moments after entering this world understands that it’s first order of business is to learn how to stand no matter how wobbly and out of center that standing may be.

Our bodies speak to us and they speak to others.  They tell stories in a language with no sound.

Muscles tell the story of a body that works.  Scars tell the story of body that has faced pain.  Stretch marks tell the story of a body that has experienced growth.  

Each body tells a story on the skin.  You can see it in the laughs lines.  You can observe it in the head perpetually held low.  You can feel it in the warmth of an intentional touch.  In the gray hair that makes friends with age.

But one story the body does not readily divulge is one of courage.  No, no.  Courage cannot necessarily be seen on the skin.  Courage comes in many forms.  It can be seen in a pre-mature baby fighting for it’s life in the ICU.  In a young girl who protects her siblings from a father filled with rage.  In the least likely warrior on the battle field who refuses to give up even when it appears the battle has been lost.

Joan of Arc famously said, “I am not afraid.  I was born for this.”

That kind of courage cannot be seen on our bodies, it can only be seen in our actions.  So what were we born for?  What is the the “this” for us that Joan is referring to?

And does it boil down to conviction?  Is our depth of courage parallel to our level of conviction?

I want to tell you a story.

Story - 16 years old and skydiving.  I was convinced that if I could do this, then I could do anything because my fear wasn’t as great as my ability to overcome it.  I felt like if I could skydive and live to tell about it, then there wouldn’t be anything I couldn’t do.

So maybe all those times you felt like you lacked courage, it was actually just a lack of conviction.  Your Joan of Arc energy wasn’t aimed at a cause or a purpose that you could really stand behind, so your actions didn’t reflect that.

Here is what I know to be true: 

• courageous acts aren’t just seen on a battle field
• courageous acts aren’t just seen when a man stops a mugger from taking an elderly woman’s handbag
• courageous acts aren’t just seen in the hail mary shot in the last 5 seconds of the game
• courage is when a woman goes into labor and breathes new life into the world
• courage is when a son takes care of his ailing mother
• courage is when you tell her you love her even though there are no guarantees she loves you back
• courage is when you step on the stage and bare your soul
• courage is when you release a piece of art that you created and subject it to judgement
• courage is when you stand up for what you believe in even if you are standing alone
• courage is when you say goodbye to a beloved pet because their body is suffering
• courage is when you light a candle in the face of your pain and say “I am stronger than my feelings."
• courage is when you tell him that he cannot talk to you or treat you like that
• courage is telling your parents you want to be an artist when they were dead set on your becoming a lawyer
• courage is when you need a break from the world and you take one
• courage is when your heart speaks to you and you act on what it says
• courage is when your conviction is stronger than your fear

If you are lacking courage, then let me ask you about your conviction.  Is it present?  Maybe if your courage is absent, it is because your conviction is elsewhere.

This is the perfect time in history to be asking ourselves why we are doing what we are doing?  Is it because we feel we have to or because we want to?  And if you are living in “have to,” where in your life do you feel a strong sense of conviction?  And could that be conviction be a clue to where your heart wants to lead you?

The courage to take the first step toward what you truly want to do is tethered to conviction.  It cannot be seen on our skin, it can only be seen in our brave and bold actions.

When you are old and gray and looking back over your life, how do you want to describe it to your loved ones?  What kind of stories do you want to tell?  What kind of heart do you want to lead with?

You are stronger than your fear, my friend.  You are stronger than any negative feeling you feel.  So what is it?  What is it you want to do with this wild and precious life?  And is there something deep in your bones that you want to bring to the surface of your skin and then whisper “I am not afraid.  I was born for this."