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She's one to model"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.49,"endTime":139.95,"body":"for sure. Heart of pure gold."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.49,"endTime":139.95,"body":"Thank you for this lovely,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.07,"endTime":145.47,"body":"lovely review. I am absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.07,"endTime":145.47,"body":"honored. So I feel like I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.47,"endTime":150.18,"body":"one more slightly sensitive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":145.47,"endTime":150.18,"body":"subject to dive into today"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":150.18,"endTime":155.34,"body":"beyond today's topic of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":150.18,"endTime":155.34,"body":"conversation, and that is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.34,"endTime":159.51,"body":"elections in the United States."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.34,"endTime":159.51,"body":"I'm recording this podcast on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.51,"endTime":163.56,"body":"Thursday, the Thursday prior to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.51,"endTime":163.56,"body":"election day. But this podcast"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.56,"endTime":167.34,"body":"episode is going to be coming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.56,"endTime":167.34,"body":"out on Wednesday, so the day"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":167.4,"endTime":172.11,"body":"after our national election. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":167.4,"endTime":172.11,"body":"I just want to address a couple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":172.14,"endTime":176.58,"body":"of things because no matter the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":172.14,"endTime":176.58,"body":"election results, these are some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.58,"endTime":180.99,"body":"things that I feel like hold"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":176.58,"endTime":180.99,"body":"true. And the first one is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":181.32,"endTime":185.28,"body":"everyone is entitled to their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":181.32,"endTime":185.28,"body":"own opinion. 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We have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":218.7,"endTime":223.56,"body":"consider where we are placing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":223.56,"endTime":228.48,"body":"our energy as we are responsible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":223.56,"endTime":228.48,"body":"for what we put out. And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":228.48,"endTime":231.9,"body":"have to think how do you want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":228.48,"endTime":231.9,"body":"feel during the day? How do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.9,"endTime":236.19,"body":"want people to feel in your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.9,"endTime":236.19,"body":"presence? Do you want to feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":236.19,"endTime":240.27,"body":"angry and stuck and helpless? Or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":236.19,"endTime":240.27,"body":"do you want to create an energy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":240.27,"endTime":245.31,"body":"that propels you and others"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":240.27,"endTime":245.31,"body":"forward? The choice is ours. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.31,"endTime":249.84,"body":"for me, I want to do what I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":245.31,"endTime":249.84,"body":"with what I have not focus my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":249.84,"endTime":254.19,"body":"efforts on battling someone with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":249.84,"endTime":254.19,"body":"a different political view. 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If we put"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":291.6,"endTime":296.28,"body":"all of our stock into our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":291.6,"endTime":296.28,"body":"government, we are missing out."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":296.67,"endTime":300.36,"body":"And what I mean by that is real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":296.67,"endTime":300.36,"body":"change in my opinions. starts at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.36,"endTime":304.38,"body":"a community level. And it starts"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":300.36,"endTime":304.38,"body":"with us as individuals."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":304.83,"endTime":309.45,"body":"Elections are important. 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There is so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":318.45,"endTime":323.19,"body":"happening in the government,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":323.49,"endTime":327.54,"body":"there's corruption, there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":323.49,"endTime":327.54,"body":"bureaucracy, there's all kinds"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.57,"endTime":336.0,"body":"of jargon and systems that every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.57,"endTime":336.0,"body":"single bill and law and opinion"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":336.66,"endTime":340.83,"body":"has to go through. And if we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":336.66,"endTime":340.83,"body":"really want change in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":340.83,"endTime":344.73,"body":"country, then the change has to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":340.83,"endTime":344.73,"body":"start with us as individuals."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":345.03,"endTime":349.08,"body":"And it has to start in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":345.03,"endTime":349.08,"body":"families and our communities,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":349.23,"endTime":354.69,"body":"and our cities and our states"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":349.23,"endTime":354.69,"body":"and go from there. If we depend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.69,"endTime":358.92,"body":"solely on politicians to change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.69,"endTime":358.92,"body":"everything, My belief is that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.92,"endTime":363.48,"body":"will be waiting forever. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":358.92,"endTime":363.48,"body":"when we continuously give our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.48,"endTime":367.44,"body":"power away, we're doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":363.48,"endTime":367.44,"body":"ourselves and each other a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":367.44,"endTime":372.0,"body":"disservice, the more we can take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":367.44,"endTime":372.0,"body":"the power back into our own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":372.0,"endTime":377.52,"body":"hands, and take responsibility"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":372.0,"endTime":377.52,"body":"for the kind of lives that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":377.52,"endTime":383.19,"body":"want to live. And the kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":377.52,"endTime":383.19,"body":"programs and opportunities that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":383.19,"endTime":387.24,"body":"we want for other people, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":383.19,"endTime":387.24,"body":"better off our society will be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":387.24,"endTime":392.73,"body":"as a whole. Again, if we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":387.24,"endTime":392.73,"body":"solely putting all of our stock"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":392.73,"endTime":396.81,"body":"and energy into politicians to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":392.73,"endTime":396.81,"body":"do this for us, I think we will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":396.81,"endTime":401.43,"body":"be forever disappointed. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":396.81,"endTime":401.43,"body":"that's my two cents on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":401.43,"endTime":404.61,"body":"election, I have, like I said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":401.43,"endTime":404.61,"body":"I'm recording this on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":404.61,"endTime":407.31,"body":"Thursday, I have no idea who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":404.61,"endTime":407.31,"body":"won."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":408.0,"endTime":409.53,"body":"But I do know this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":409.56,"endTime":413.67,"body":"whoever it is that one, I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":409.56,"endTime":413.67,"body":"going to be praying for them and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.67,"endTime":416.88,"body":"sending them love, no matter"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":413.67,"endTime":416.88,"body":"their political affiliation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":417.24,"endTime":422.25,"body":"Because I want the leader of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":417.24,"endTime":422.25,"body":"free world, to have that kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.25,"endTime":426.57,"body":"support from me, whether I agree"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":422.25,"endTime":426.57,"body":"with them or not on all issues."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.78,"endTime":429.96,"body":"That's not really the point,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.78,"endTime":429.96,"body":"it's that we need to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":429.96,"endTime":432.54,"body":"unified country. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":429.96,"endTime":432.54,"body":"going to require us to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":432.54,"endTime":436.05,"body":"uncomfortable things at times,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":432.54,"endTime":436.05,"body":"and send love and prayers for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.05,"endTime":440.46,"body":"people that sometimes we don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.05,"endTime":440.46,"body":"like. So, again, I'm trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.46,"endTime":443.01,"body":"look at this with Grace, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.46,"endTime":443.01,"body":"trying to look at others with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.01,"endTime":448.35,"body":"grace, and love. And just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.01,"endTime":448.35,"body":"understand that we're all human,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":448.86,"endTime":451.98,"body":"we all are doing the best. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":448.86,"endTime":451.98,"body":"this, I firmly believe this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.13,"endTime":454.74,"body":"we're all doing the best we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.13,"endTime":454.74,"body":"with what we have and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":454.74,"endTime":459.57,"body":"information we have. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":454.74,"endTime":459.57,"body":"all we can go off of. So again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.57,"endTime":463.29,"body":"no matter where you stand, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":459.57,"endTime":463.29,"body":"want you to know that I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":463.29,"endTime":467.19,"body":"you. And I'm sending you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":463.29,"endTime":467.19,"body":"positive vibes and positive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":467.19,"endTime":471.3,"body":"energy, because that's what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":467.19,"endTime":471.3,"body":"need, we need you to light up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":471.33,"endTime":476.67,"body":"and go be loving and kind and a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":471.33,"endTime":476.67,"body":"change maker in your family and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":476.67,"endTime":477.63,"body":"your community."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":479.37,"endTime":480.3,"body":"Okay, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":480.3,"endTime":486.78,"body":"I went on enough in regard to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":480.3,"endTime":486.78,"body":"the election, I am going to now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.11,"endTime":490.98,"body":"go into today's topic, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.11,"endTime":490.98,"body":"keeping your inner peace while"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":490.98,"endTime":493.83,"body":"navigating delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":490.98,"endTime":493.83,"body":"relationships. 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And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.63,"endTime":564.09,"body":"what are they called roles,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":561.63,"endTime":564.09,"body":"family roles."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":564.72,"endTime":568.56,"body":"So I'm going to give you a tiny"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":564.72,"endTime":568.56,"body":"bit of background. If you want a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.56,"endTime":572.19,"body":"more extensive background on me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.56,"endTime":572.19,"body":"and my family history. I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.19,"endTime":576.21,"body":"write an ebook called didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.19,"endTime":576.21,"body":"break me. And the link for it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.99,"endTime":580.53,"body":"in the show notes, and it's part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.99,"endTime":580.53,"body":"of my email list. So if you sign"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.53,"endTime":583.02,"body":"up for my email list, you'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.53,"endTime":583.02,"body":"automatically get my ebook"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":583.02,"endTime":586.8,"body":"didn't break me. And I go into a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":583.02,"endTime":586.8,"body":"lot more detail there. But I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":586.8,"endTime":592.08,"body":"had a fairly difficult family"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":586.8,"endTime":592.08,"body":"history. I've had long periods"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.14,"endTime":597.42,"body":"of not having a relationship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.14,"endTime":597.42,"body":"with my father. And that was due"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.42,"endTime":602.85,"body":"primarily to having a stepmother"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":597.42,"endTime":602.85,"body":"Didn't want my brother and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.88,"endTime":607.53,"body":"around. And so she created a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.88,"endTime":607.53,"body":"of division, a lot of drama,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.59,"endTime":612.21,"body":"trauma, you know, use your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.59,"endTime":612.21,"body":"imagination probably happened."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":612.42,"endTime":618.96,"body":"It's been a wild 20 years in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":612.42,"endTime":618.96,"body":"life and there's been a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":618.96,"endTime":624.99,"body":"hurt, and a lot of pain. And a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":618.96,"endTime":624.99,"body":"lot of circumstances that I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.99,"endTime":627.6,"body":"been thrown into my brother's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.99,"endTime":627.6,"body":"been thrown into that we had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":627.6,"endTime":631.8,"body":"absolutely no control over. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":627.6,"endTime":631.8,"body":"then the expectations on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.8,"endTime":635.67,"body":"other end of that were that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.8,"endTime":635.67,"body":"often we were supposed to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.67,"endTime":636.69,"body":"keep our cool."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":637.679,"endTime":638.429,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.7,"endTime":644.25,"body":"while being kind, and being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.7,"endTime":644.25,"body":"calm, are two things that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.25,"endTime":649.71,"body":"value highly. I also value my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.25,"endTime":649.71,"body":"inner peace and my own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":649.71,"endTime":653.37,"body":"integrity. And so as I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":649.71,"endTime":653.37,"body":"weathered the storms over the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.37,"endTime":658.83,"body":"last 20 years, I feel like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.37,"endTime":658.83,"body":"have learned a lot. And my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":658.83,"endTime":662.64,"body":"progression, I feel like has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":658.83,"endTime":662.64,"body":"been slow. But when I look at my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.64,"endTime":665.79,"body":"progression over the last 20"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.64,"endTime":665.79,"body":"years, I'm really quite a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":665.79,"endTime":672.12,"body":"different person than I was when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":665.79,"endTime":672.12,"body":"I was first thrown into this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.12,"endTime":675.93,"body":"situation. And at this point in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.12,"endTime":675.93,"body":"my life."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":678.029,"endTime":678.599,"body":"This"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":678.63,"endTime":686.13,"body":"stepmother is no longer around,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":678.63,"endTime":686.13,"body":"my, my dad is divorced. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.13,"endTime":694.08,"body":"want to move into a new era with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.13,"endTime":694.08,"body":"peace. I don't know exactly what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":694.08,"endTime":697.77,"body":"that looks like, I want to do a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":694.08,"endTime":697.77,"body":"podcast on forgiveness and talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.77,"endTime":700.53,"body":"about that I'd even love to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.77,"endTime":700.53,"body":"my dad on the podcast to talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":700.53,"endTime":704.82,"body":"about forgiveness. But I am, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":700.53,"endTime":704.82,"body":"I'm honest with you, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.82,"endTime":708.33,"body":"quite there yet, there's still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.82,"endTime":708.33,"body":"some stuff that I am working"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":708.33,"endTime":712.29,"body":"through actively and trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":708.33,"endTime":712.29,"body":"wrap my head around so that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.29,"endTime":717.36,"body":"can completely, completely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.29,"endTime":717.36,"body":"forgive. But what I want right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.36,"endTime":723.51,"body":"now is to let go of bitterness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.36,"endTime":723.51,"body":"and to cultivate a peaceful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":723.54,"endTime":728.34,"body":"relationship. Because I don't at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":723.54,"endTime":728.34,"body":"this point, even though in some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":728.34,"endTime":731.22,"body":"situations, I think cutting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":728.34,"endTime":731.22,"body":"people out of your life is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.22,"endTime":734.25,"body":"healthiest thing to do. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.22,"endTime":734.25,"body":"have done that during certain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.25,"endTime":738.45,"body":"periods. I don't want that to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.25,"endTime":738.45,"body":"my future. I don't want there to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.45,"endTime":744.03,"body":"be separation between me and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.45,"endTime":744.03,"body":"anybody in my family. Now, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.03,"endTime":746.58,"body":"because I don't want there to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.03,"endTime":746.58,"body":"separation doesn't mean that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":746.58,"endTime":749.55,"body":"don't want there to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":746.58,"endTime":749.55,"body":"boundaries. I think boundaries"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.61,"endTime":754.65,"body":"are absolutely necessary. But I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.61,"endTime":754.65,"body":"want to talk about several"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.65,"endTime":758.28,"body":"things, when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":754.65,"endTime":758.28,"body":"specifically keeping your inner"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":758.28,"endTime":762.18,"body":"peace while navigating delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":758.28,"endTime":762.18,"body":"relationships. And the first one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":762.66,"endTime":768.06,"body":"is to address your expectations."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":762.66,"endTime":768.06,"body":"When it comes to relationships,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.15,"endTime":771.48,"body":"especially delicate ones where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.15,"endTime":771.48,"body":"there's been a lot of pain and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.48,"endTime":776.1,"body":"trauma, we have to address our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.48,"endTime":776.1,"body":"own expectations. What are we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.1,"endTime":780.18,"body":"expecting from this person? Have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.1,"endTime":780.18,"body":"they been capable of following"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":780.18,"endTime":785.46,"body":"through with that in the past?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":780.18,"endTime":785.46,"body":"Is this a realistic expectation?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.88,"endTime":789.72,"body":"If they do not meet this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.88,"endTime":789.72,"body":"expectation? How will that make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.72,"endTime":794.46,"body":"me? How will that make you feel?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.72,"endTime":794.46,"body":"I am in no way an advocate for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":794.46,"endTime":797.25,"body":"lowering your expectations of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":794.46,"endTime":797.25,"body":"people. I've heard that saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.25,"endTime":801.21,"body":"before, like, lower your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.25,"endTime":801.21,"body":"expectations. I'm not a fan of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.21,"endTime":805.83,"body":"that because I don't want to let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.21,"endTime":805.83,"body":"super excuse my language shield"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":805.83,"endTime":808.86,"body":"your children's ears, I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":805.83,"endTime":808.86,"body":"want to let super shitty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":808.86,"endTime":809.61,"body":"behavior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":809.64,"endTime":810.51,"body":"pass."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":811.799,"endTime":815.999,"body":"Because I don't have any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":811.799,"endTime":815.999,"body":"expectations, because I have low"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.999,"endTime":821.039,"body":"expectations of other people. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.999,"endTime":821.039,"body":"am However, an advocate for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":821.039,"endTime":825.989,"body":"having realistic expectations."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":821.039,"endTime":825.989,"body":"Because you can't expect someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.139,"endTime":829.919,"body":"who has done things one way for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":826.139,"endTime":829.919,"body":"a very long time to all of a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":829.919,"endTime":833.669,"body":"sudden do a 180 and do things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":829.919,"endTime":833.669,"body":"the way that you want them to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.389,"endTime":837.749,"body":"especially if you haven't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.389,"endTime":837.749,"body":"verbalized your expectations to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.749,"endTime":842.639,"body":"them. In that same vein, zebra"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.749,"endTime":842.639,"body":"isn't going to change their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.639,"endTime":845.729,"body":"stripes. a therapist told me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.639,"endTime":845.729,"body":"that years ago and I think it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.729,"endTime":849.839,"body":"so true, people are capable of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.729,"endTime":849.839,"body":"changing but expecting them to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.839,"endTime":853.529,"body":"change according to what you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.839,"endTime":853.529,"body":"want from them is unfortunately"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.529,"endTime":858.269,"body":"very realistic. And believe me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.529,"endTime":858.269,"body":"I've tried and I failed more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":858.269,"endTime":862.379,"body":"than more times than I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":858.269,"endTime":862.379,"body":"admit in that department. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.379,"endTime":866.669,"body":"it's so so important, especially"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.379,"endTime":866.669,"body":"when you are in a delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":866.669,"endTime":870.179,"body":"relationship that you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":866.669,"endTime":870.179,"body":"realistic expectations. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":870.179,"endTime":875.399,"body":"if there is an expectation or a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":870.179,"endTime":875.399,"body":"boundary that you have, you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.399,"endTime":879.089,"body":"to verbalize it. You can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.399,"endTime":879.089,"body":"expect people to read your mind."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.119,"endTime":885.299,"body":"So for instance, if somebody has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.119,"endTime":885.299,"body":"a history of not following"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.299,"endTime":888.689,"body":"through of not showing up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.299,"endTime":888.689,"body":"you're trying to repair a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.689,"endTime":891.659,"body":"relationship with them because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.689,"endTime":891.659,"body":"there is a deep love there a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.659,"endTime":898.289,"body":"deep connection when they say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.659,"endTime":898.289,"body":"Hey, I'll call you later. What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.289,"endTime":902.219,"body":"you can say when it comes to to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":898.289,"endTime":902.219,"body":"having a realistic expectation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.219,"endTime":904.979,"body":"and having a boundary, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.219,"endTime":904.979,"body":"say, Hey, I appreciate you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.979,"endTime":908.159,"body":"saying that. But as we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":904.979,"endTime":908.159,"body":"rebuilding this relationship, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.159,"endTime":912.209,"body":"is my expectation that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.159,"endTime":912.209,"body":"actually do Call me later. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.269,"endTime":916.979,"body":"not forget or not push it to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.269,"endTime":916.979,"body":"next week, I expect you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.979,"endTime":920.639,"body":"follow through on what you say."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.979,"endTime":920.639,"body":"And if you can't meet that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":920.639,"endTime":923.789,"body":"expectation, then please tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":920.639,"endTime":923.789,"body":"me. So it doesn't have to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.789,"endTime":926.369,"body":"anything rude. You don't have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.789,"endTime":926.369,"body":"call people out or shame them."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.609,"endTime":929.579,"body":"But I think verbalizing your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.609,"endTime":929.579,"body":"expectations are such an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.579,"endTime":934.379,"body":"important part of building and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.579,"endTime":934.379,"body":"navigating delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.379,"endTime":940.019,"body":"relationships. And sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.379,"endTime":940.019,"body":"people will surprise you in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.019,"endTime":943.499,"body":"good way. And that is great. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":940.019,"endTime":943.499,"body":"I think that you should be open"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":943.499,"endTime":946.229,"body":"to that and keep your heart open"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":943.499,"endTime":946.229,"body":"and as much as you feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.229,"endTime":951.209,"body":"comfortable. But let it be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.229,"endTime":951.209,"body":"surprise and not something you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.209,"endTime":954.719,"body":"are holding them to in your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.209,"endTime":954.719,"body":"head, or you will likely be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":954.719,"endTime":960.119,"body":"disappointed. Okay, the next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":954.719,"endTime":960.119,"body":"thing I want to talk about in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.149,"endTime":962.549,"body":"keeping your inner peace while"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.149,"endTime":962.549,"body":"navigating delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":962.549,"endTime":963.659,"body":"relationships is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.72,"endTime":964.68,"body":"honesty."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":965.25,"endTime":968.55,"body":"This is not only honesty, with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":965.25,"endTime":968.55,"body":"the other person, this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.55,"endTime":972.75,"body":"getting honest with yourself."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.55,"endTime":972.75,"body":"Because and this is one of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.75,"endTime":975.78,"body":"biggest lessons that I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.75,"endTime":975.78,"body":"learned, you are the only thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.78,"endTime":981.39,"body":"you can control, I am the only"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.78,"endTime":981.39,"body":"thing that I can control. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.39,"endTime":985.86,"body":"being vulnerable with yourself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.39,"endTime":985.86,"body":"and vulnerable with the person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":985.86,"endTime":991.41,"body":"you are trying to build a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":985.86,"endTime":991.41,"body":"relationship with, is, in a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.41,"endTime":995.97,"body":"of ways a necessity. And Renee"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.41,"endTime":995.97,"body":"brown does such a great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.03,"endTime":996.81,"body":"job,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.84,"endTime":1000.65,"body":"such a great job of talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.84,"endTime":1000.65,"body":"about the nuances of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1000.65,"endTime":1005.27,"body":"vulnerability and how to open up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1000.65,"endTime":1005.27,"body":"and be vulnerable. And I highly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.27,"endTime":1009.95,"body":"recommend all of her books,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.27,"endTime":1009.95,"body":"especially daring greatly. By"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.98,"endTime":1014.6,"body":"but in this instance, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.98,"endTime":1014.6,"body":"the most important important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.6,"endTime":1017.57,"body":"thing is that you get vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.6,"endTime":1017.57,"body":"with yourself and you get honest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.57,"endTime":1022.52,"body":"about your own feelings. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.57,"endTime":1022.52,"body":"level of hurt that this person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.55,"endTime":1026.36,"body":"or this relationship has caused"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1022.55,"endTime":1026.36,"body":"you, whether that's a lot, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.36,"endTime":1030.32,"body":"just a little if you're being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.36,"endTime":1030.32,"body":"overdramatic, and how willing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1030.32,"endTime":1034.19,"body":"you are to put in the work of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1030.32,"endTime":1034.19,"body":"repairing a relationship and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1034.19,"endTime":1038.54,"body":"then putting boundaries around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1034.19,"endTime":1038.54,"body":"how that will look in your life."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1038.57,"endTime":1042.86,"body":"Is it fully letting somebody in?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1038.57,"endTime":1042.86,"body":"Is it slowly letting somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.86,"endTime":1048.65,"body":"in? I think all of that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.86,"endTime":1048.65,"body":"something that you really need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.8,"endTime":1052.37,"body":"to think about. If you want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.8,"endTime":1052.37,"body":"keep your inner peace, I have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.37,"endTime":1056.51,"body":"tendency to just kind of let the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.37,"endTime":1056.51,"body":"floodgates open and be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1056.84,"endTime":1058.58,"body":"because I my natural"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.58,"endTime":1063.44,"body":"bent is to be super loving and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.58,"endTime":1063.44,"body":"gooey, gooey. And just like if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1063.44,"endTime":1066.53,"body":"you're in my circle, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1063.44,"endTime":1066.53,"body":"to tell you how much I love you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1066.74,"endTime":1070.07,"body":"And you're going to know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1066.74,"endTime":1070.07,"body":"you are valued and listened to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.34,"endTime":1074.45,"body":"etc. But in delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.34,"endTime":1074.45,"body":"relationships or traumatic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.45,"endTime":1078.23,"body":"relationships, I have learned"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.45,"endTime":1078.23,"body":"over the past 20 years that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.23,"endTime":1082.13,"body":"can't just open those floodgates"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.23,"endTime":1082.13,"body":"right back up, it has to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1082.13,"endTime":1086.57,"body":"step by step process where I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1082.13,"endTime":1086.57,"body":"lower the wall for my own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1086.69,"endTime":1092.09,"body":"safety. So I hope that that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1086.69,"endTime":1092.09,"body":"makes makes sense. So much of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1092.09,"endTime":1095.0,"body":"the trauma that I've experienced"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1092.09,"endTime":1095.0,"body":"in my life centers around my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1095.0,"endTime":1099.17,"body":"parents divorce, and a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1095.0,"endTime":1099.17,"body":"the subsequent decisions that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.17,"endTime":1106.28,"body":"were made in the 14 years after"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.17,"endTime":1106.28,"body":"that. And so, again, part of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.28,"endTime":1110.51,"body":"vulnerability that is required"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1106.28,"endTime":1110.51,"body":"and getting honest, is being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.51,"endTime":1114.38,"body":"vulnerable with yourself. For"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.51,"endTime":1114.38,"body":"me, specifically, I had to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.38,"endTime":1120.11,"body":"brutally honest with how I felt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.38,"endTime":1120.11,"body":"about what happened to me. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.11,"endTime":1122.45,"body":"don't want to go into all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.11,"endTime":1122.45,"body":"details. Again, I talked about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.45,"endTime":1130.79,"body":"some of it in my ebook. But for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.45,"endTime":1130.79,"body":"years, I tried to combat the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.79,"endTime":1135.32,"body":"softness of my heart with trying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.79,"endTime":1135.32,"body":"to be tough, and be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1135.32,"endTime":1136.49,"body":"impenetrable."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.66,"endTime":1139.19,"body":"And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.37,"endTime":1143.96,"body":"swing of the pendulum is not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.37,"endTime":1143.96,"body":"healthy either. Because as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.96,"endTime":1147.98,"body":"humans, if we want to experience"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.96,"endTime":1147.98,"body":"the bounty of life, we have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1147.98,"endTime":1152.63,"body":"be open to experiencing the good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1147.98,"endTime":1152.63,"body":"and the bad, and the bad. And if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.63,"endTime":1154.67,"body":"you're just trying toughing it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.63,"endTime":1154.67,"body":"out and trying to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.67,"endTime":1159.05,"body":"impenetrable. You create this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1154.67,"endTime":1159.05,"body":"wall where it's hard to feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.05,"endTime":1162.8,"body":"anything at all. And I certainly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.05,"endTime":1162.8,"body":"did that for a while and it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1162.8,"endTime":1167.3,"body":"not healthy for me at all. So I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1162.8,"endTime":1167.3,"body":"had explore some of the beliefs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.33,"endTime":1171.47,"body":"that I had around what happened"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.33,"endTime":1171.47,"body":"in my life and how those events"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.47,"endTime":1174.98,"body":"made me feel. And then whether"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.47,"endTime":1174.98,"body":"or not my beliefs were healthy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1174.98,"endTime":1181.16,"body":"for me to hold on to, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1174.98,"endTime":1181.16,"body":"actually believe to be true. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.16,"endTime":1185.54,"body":"here's the skinny like this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.16,"endTime":1185.54,"body":"painful stuff. Keeping your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.54,"endTime":1189.89,"body":"inner peace while navigating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.54,"endTime":1189.89,"body":"delicate relationships is not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1190.04,"endTime":1195.56,"body":"easy. And being a human and in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1190.04,"endTime":1195.56,"body":"relationships with others is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.56,"endTime":1198.98,"body":"messy. It doesn't matter if it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.56,"endTime":1198.98,"body":"a family member or a friend or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.98,"endTime":1203.81,"body":"an acquaintance. Being a human"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.98,"endTime":1203.81,"body":"is hard. And I dealt with a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1203.81,"endTime":1207.11,"body":"of self esteem issues and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1203.81,"endTime":1207.11,"body":"negative beliefs. Because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1207.14,"endTime":1214.49,"body":"didn't believe my dad saw me. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1207.14,"endTime":1214.49,"body":"felt replaced, I felt abandoned,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.52,"endTime":1219.98,"body":"I felt discarded, I felt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.52,"endTime":1219.98,"body":"unworthy, and I felt incredibly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.22,"endTime":1227.33,"body":"angry. And all of my feelings"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.22,"endTime":1227.33,"body":"are legitimate. However, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1227.33,"endTime":1231.92,"body":"this is the kicker, guys, all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1227.33,"endTime":1231.92,"body":"my feelings are also my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.92,"endTime":1237.26,"body":"responsibility. Because no one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.92,"endTime":1237.26,"body":"can fix these feelings in me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.71,"endTime":1243.35,"body":"only I can heal from them. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1237.71,"endTime":1243.35,"body":"that might mean reading books"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1243.35,"endTime":1246.83,"body":"that might mean going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1243.35,"endTime":1246.83,"body":"therapy, that might mean doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1246.83,"endTime":1252.65,"body":"different types of healing work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1246.83,"endTime":1252.65,"body":"like Reiki or chiropractic work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.65,"endTime":1258.41,"body":"to release trauma in the body,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.65,"endTime":1258.41,"body":"or acupuncture, whatever it is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.92,"endTime":1264.89,"body":"I can go to others and get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.92,"endTime":1264.89,"body":"healing. But at the end of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.89,"endTime":1272.57,"body":"day, no one can heal my hurt."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1264.89,"endTime":1272.57,"body":"And no one can shift my thought"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1272.57,"endTime":1277.91,"body":"paradigm, or ask better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1272.57,"endTime":1277.91,"body":"questions, or get into a better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.91,"endTime":1285.62,"body":"headspace, or forgive or love or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.91,"endTime":1285.62,"body":"be honest. But me, only I can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.62,"endTime":1288.47,"body":"those things only you can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.62,"endTime":1288.47,"body":"those things. And we're doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.47,"endTime":1292.46,"body":"ourselves a disservice and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.47,"endTime":1292.46,"body":"giving our power away. If we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1292.46,"endTime":1298.37,"body":"expecting others to do that for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1292.46,"endTime":1298.37,"body":"us, or expecting others to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.37,"endTime":1305.48,"body":"apologize, that's not a powerful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.37,"endTime":1305.48,"body":"way to live. And I want to in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1305.48,"endTime":1310.37,"body":"this podcast empower you in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1305.48,"endTime":1310.37,"body":"every possible way I can. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.37,"endTime":1313.94,"body":"one of the best ways to do that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.37,"endTime":1313.94,"body":"is for me to encourage you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1313.94,"endTime":1317.96,"body":"take responsibility and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1313.94,"endTime":1317.96,"body":"ownership of your own feelings."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.46,"endTime":1323.48,"body":"One thing that's really, really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1319.46,"endTime":1323.48,"body":"helped me with this is Byron"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1323.48,"endTime":1326.99,"body":"Katie's book, a mind at home"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1323.48,"endTime":1326.99,"body":"with itself. And I'll link that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1326.99,"endTime":1327.98,"body":"in the show notes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1328.25,"endTime":1329.84,"body":"And she also has a phone app"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1329.87,"endTime":1331.49,"body":"called the work."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1332.39,"endTime":1333.92,"body":"And this app"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.95,"endTime":1338.03,"body":"is something that I use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.95,"endTime":1338.03,"body":"regularly, especially when I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1338.03,"endTime":1340.64,"body":"navigating difficult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1338.03,"endTime":1340.64,"body":"relationships and trying to keep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1340.64,"endTime":1344.06,"body":"my inner peace or just trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1340.64,"endTime":1344.06,"body":"keep any kind of sense of calm."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.14,"endTime":1349.22,"body":"And essentially, I again, highly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.14,"endTime":1349.22,"body":"recommend her book a mind at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1349.22,"endTime":1353.84,"body":"home with itself and her app the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1349.22,"endTime":1353.84,"body":"work. But essentially, she asks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1353.84,"endTime":1358.58,"body":"you questions, and then you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1353.84,"endTime":1358.58,"body":"a thought turnaround. And So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1358.58,"endTime":1362.69,"body":"question number one is, is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1358.58,"endTime":1362.69,"body":"belief true? Question number two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1362.69,"endTime":1368.15,"body":"is? Can you absolutely know it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1362.69,"endTime":1368.15,"body":"true? Question number three, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.15,"endTime":1372.59,"body":"how do you react? Or what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.15,"endTime":1372.59,"body":"happens when you believe that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.59,"endTime":1377.48,"body":"thought? And Question number"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.59,"endTime":1377.48,"body":"four is, who would you be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1377.63,"endTime":1379.94,"body":"with out the thought?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1380.27,"endTime":1383.78,"body":"That's my favorite question. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1380.27,"endTime":1383.78,"body":"want to do a podcast on asking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.78,"endTime":1386.84,"body":"yourself powerful questions and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.78,"endTime":1386.84,"body":"empowering questions. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.71,"endTime":1391.79,"body":"the kind of questions that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1387.71,"endTime":1391.79,"body":"ask yourself have such a giant"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1391.79,"endTime":1396.74,"body":"impact on your mindset? Anyways,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1391.79,"endTime":1396.74,"body":"these questions are supposed to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.74,"endTime":1400.52,"body":"turn your thought or belief"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.74,"endTime":1400.52,"body":"around. And I'm going to do this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.55,"endTime":1404.63,"body":"in real time for you guys right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.55,"endTime":1404.63,"body":"now. So here's an example."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1404.84,"endTime":1405.74,"body":"The belief"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.95,"endTime":1409.37,"body":"my dad doesn't care enough about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.95,"endTime":1409.37,"body":"me to include me in his life."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.3,"endTime":1411.44,"body":"Question number one,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.83,"endTime":1412.64,"body":"is it true?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1413.78,"endTime":1418.13,"body":"No, it's not. If I'm honest,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1413.78,"endTime":1418.13,"body":"have there been times it has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.13,"endTime":1423.14,"body":"felt that way? Absolutely. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.13,"endTime":1423.14,"body":"there's also been a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1423.14,"endTime":1428.63,"body":"evidence that my dad loves me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1423.14,"endTime":1428.63,"body":"Question number two, can you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.63,"endTime":1432.89,"body":"absolutely know it's true? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.63,"endTime":1432.89,"body":"that's the belief that my dad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.89,"endTime":1435.62,"body":"doesn't care enough about me to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.89,"endTime":1435.62,"body":"include me in his life? And my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.62,"endTime":1439.31,"body":"answer is no, I cannot. There"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.62,"endTime":1439.31,"body":"have been numerous times that my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.31,"endTime":1442.31,"body":"dad has tried to show his love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.31,"endTime":1442.31,"body":"for me and the ways that he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.31,"endTime":1446.87,"body":"knows how, and those count that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.31,"endTime":1446.87,"body":"is effort on his part."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1447.17,"endTime":1449.09,"body":"It's not fair for me to hold"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1449.09,"endTime":1455.36,"body":"him to a perfect standard. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1449.09,"endTime":1455.36,"body":"it's not fair for me, to expect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1455.36,"endTime":1460.55,"body":"him to be the kind of father I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1455.36,"endTime":1460.55,"body":"want him to be at this point in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.55,"endTime":1465.65,"body":"time. Question number three. How"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.55,"endTime":1465.65,"body":"do you react when you believe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1465.65,"endTime":1469.55,"body":"that thought? How do I read? How"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1465.65,"endTime":1469.55,"body":"do I react when I actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.55,"endTime":1472.4,"body":"believe that my dad doesn't care"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.55,"endTime":1472.4,"body":"enough about me to include me in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.4,"endTime":1477.68,"body":"his life? It makes me feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.4,"endTime":1477.68,"body":"small. It makes me feel angry."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.68,"endTime":1481.97,"body":"It makes me feel bitter. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.68,"endTime":1481.97,"body":"makes me create a whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1481.97,"endTime":1485.84,"body":"narrative in my head about what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1481.97,"endTime":1485.84,"body":"I want to say to him, and it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.87,"endTime":1489.77,"body":"not very nice. There are a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.87,"endTime":1489.77,"body":"of expletives included, and it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1489.77,"endTime":1493.55,"body":"makes me really upset and it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1489.77,"endTime":1493.55,"body":"tends to make me spin into a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1493.55,"endTime":1499.55,"body":"downward spiral that ends in me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1493.55,"endTime":1499.55,"body":"feeling again, very small and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1499.67,"endTime":1503.24,"body":"lacking In self confidence,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1499.67,"endTime":1503.24,"body":"because I think a lot of our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1503.24,"endTime":1507.47,"body":"confidence comes from the way we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1503.24,"endTime":1507.47,"body":"feel like our parents see us."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.68,"endTime":1511.31,"body":"That's a whole other subject."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.68,"endTime":1511.31,"body":"Next question is, who would I be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1511.31,"endTime":1516.59,"body":"without this thought, I would be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1511.31,"endTime":1516.59,"body":"a child of an imperfect man who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1516.59,"endTime":1520.58,"body":"is doing the best he knows how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1516.59,"endTime":1520.58,"body":"to deal. And the reality is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1520.58,"endTime":1525.29,"body":"we're all children of imperfect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1520.58,"endTime":1525.29,"body":"parents, we often, and now I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1525.29,"endTime":1528.14,"body":"speaking specifically of me and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1525.29,"endTime":1528.14,"body":"my own dad,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.5,"endTime":1530.66,"body":"we often speak different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.5,"endTime":1530.66,"body":"languages."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1530.69,"endTime":1533.45,"body":"But there are many things that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1530.69,"endTime":1533.45,"body":"we do have in common,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1533.78,"endTime":1538.49,"body":"and enjoy doing together. If we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1533.78,"endTime":1538.49,"body":"can get along, I would be much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1538.49,"endTime":1542.81,"body":"less burdened. If I didn't carry"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1538.49,"endTime":1542.81,"body":"this belief anymore, I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.81,"endTime":1546.56,"body":"feel more worthy and deserving."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.81,"endTime":1546.56,"body":"And I would feel a sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.56,"endTime":1551.93,"body":"emotional freedom, if I no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1546.56,"endTime":1551.93,"body":"longer had this thought. So the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1551.93,"endTime":1556.19,"body":"turnaround of the thought the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1551.93,"endTime":1556.19,"body":"original belief was, my dad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1556.19,"endTime":1559.1,"body":"doesn't care enough about me to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1556.19,"endTime":1559.1,"body":"include me in his life. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.1,"endTime":1563.15,"body":"turnaround after those questions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.1,"endTime":1563.15,"body":"is, my dad is doing the best he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1563.15,"endTime":1570.05,"body":"knows how to do to include me in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1563.15,"endTime":1570.05,"body":"his life. Okay, next thing I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.05,"endTime":1575.36,"body":"want to address is, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1570.05,"endTime":1575.36,"body":"touched on this questions, asked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.39,"endTime":1579.89,"body":"questions instead of reacting."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.39,"endTime":1579.89,"body":"This is far easier said than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.89,"endTime":1583.04,"body":"done, and I've lost it before"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.89,"endTime":1583.04,"body":"and verbally vomited my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.04,"endTime":1587.72,"body":"feelings. However, this hasn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.04,"endTime":1587.72,"body":"been very productive for me. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1587.72,"endTime":1591.65,"body":"it's not usually a very good way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1587.72,"endTime":1591.65,"body":"to move forward in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.65,"endTime":1594.62,"body":"relationship if you want a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.65,"endTime":1594.62,"body":"healthy relationship with this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1594.62,"endTime":1595.22,"body":"person."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.7,"endTime":1598.13,"body":"So in my experience, when I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.7,"endTime":1598.13,"body":"triggered,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1599.09,"endTime":1601.91,"body":"asking a question, instead of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1599.09,"endTime":1601.91,"body":"reacting is a much better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.91,"endTime":1604.43,"body":"solution if you want to keep the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.91,"endTime":1604.43,"body":"peace,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.79,"endTime":1607.76,"body":"not only with this person that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.79,"endTime":1607.76,"body":"you're building a relationship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.76,"endTime":1610.82,"body":"with, or navigating a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.76,"endTime":1610.82,"body":"relationship with, but also with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.82,"endTime":1615.8,"body":"yourself. So the example is, how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.82,"endTime":1615.8,"body":"do you think it makes me feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1615.92,"endTime":1620.42,"body":"when you say something like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1615.92,"endTime":1620.42,"body":"that? Or how do you think you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1620.42,"endTime":1625.76,"body":"would feel if you were put in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1620.42,"endTime":1625.76,"body":"this situation? Or, if I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.76,"endTime":1631.55,"body":"what you did to me? Would you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.76,"endTime":1631.55,"body":"trust you? And the person you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.55,"endTime":1635.48,"body":"are asking these questions of,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.55,"endTime":1635.48,"body":"we'll show you who they are with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1635.48,"endTime":1640.37,"body":"their answers. So again, instead"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1635.48,"endTime":1640.37,"body":"of reacting instead of losing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1640.37,"endTime":1644.63,"body":"your cool and increasing your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1640.37,"endTime":1644.63,"body":"own adrenaline in your own fight"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.66,"endTime":1647.99,"body":"or flight response, if you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.66,"endTime":1647.99,"body":"take a deep breath. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.02,"endTime":1651.86,"body":"meditation is such a big part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.02,"endTime":1651.86,"body":"my life, I meditate every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1651.86,"endTime":1655.82,"body":"morning, because it just helps"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1651.86,"endTime":1655.82,"body":"me to calm the F down. But if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1655.82,"endTime":1659.84,"body":"you can take a deep breath, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1655.82,"endTime":1659.84,"body":"ask whoever is triggering you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1659.84,"endTime":1661.61,"body":"or whoever is making you angry,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1662.0,"endTime":1662.75,"body":"these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.2,"endTime":1670.22,"body":"questions and acoem way, it is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.2,"endTime":1670.22,"body":"in my experience, a way to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.25,"endTime":1674.99,"body":"defuse the anger, or defuse the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.25,"endTime":1674.99,"body":"negative energy in that moment."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.29,"endTime":1681.5,"body":"But also, it's a good indicator"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.29,"endTime":1681.5,"body":"of who this person really is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.53,"endTime":1685.25,"body":"And if you want to continue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.53,"endTime":1685.25,"body":"cultivating a relationship with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.25,"endTime":1689.03,"body":"them, based on their answers,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.25,"endTime":1689.03,"body":"Maya Angelou said something like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1689.84,"endTime":1695.69,"body":"when people show you who they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1689.84,"endTime":1695.69,"body":"are, believe them. And finally,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1695.69,"endTime":1699.56,"body":"at 34 years old, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1695.69,"endTime":1699.56,"body":"something that I'm doing. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.56,"endTime":1706.04,"body":"think, for most of my life, I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.56,"endTime":1706.04,"body":"wanted to believe that people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.1,"endTime":1711.62,"body":"are. I've always wanted to give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.1,"endTime":1711.62,"body":"people the benefit of the doubt."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.65,"endTime":1714.17,"body":"And I love that about my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.65,"endTime":1714.17,"body":"personality. And I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1714.17,"endTime":1716.81,"body":"continue giving people the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1714.17,"endTime":1716.81,"body":"benefit of the doubt. But if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1716.81,"endTime":1719.42,"body":"have a history with somebody,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1716.81,"endTime":1719.42,"body":"and they continue to do the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1719.42,"endTime":1725.45,"body":"things over and over and over,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1719.42,"endTime":1725.45,"body":"then believe them. Don't try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.45,"endTime":1728.99,"body":"keep changing it. Don't try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.45,"endTime":1728.99,"body":"keep going back if it's not a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1728.99,"endTime":1735.08,"body":"healthy situation for you. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1728.99,"endTime":1735.08,"body":"next thing I want to talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1735.11,"endTime":1737.81,"body":"in keeping your inner peace"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1735.11,"endTime":1737.81,"body":"while navigating delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1737.81,"endTime":1742.64,"body":"relationships is power. Power."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1737.81,"endTime":1742.64,"body":"And this is not about having a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.64,"endTime":1746.51,"body":"power struggle, and you having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.64,"endTime":1746.51,"body":"more power over another person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1746.69,"endTime":1747.35,"body":"at all."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1748.61,"endTime":1751.19,"body":"It's stop giving your power"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1748.61,"endTime":1751.19,"body":"away."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1752.36,"endTime":1757.04,"body":"We have to have boundaries and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1752.36,"endTime":1757.04,"body":"delicate relationships. We teach"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1757.04,"endTime":1760.13,"body":"people how to treat us, and we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1757.04,"endTime":1760.13,"body":"can do that consciously or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1760.13,"endTime":1764.03,"body":"subconsciously. But I suggest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1760.13,"endTime":1764.03,"body":"that we do it consciously. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1764.03,"endTime":1769.04,"body":"that means have clear boundaries"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1764.03,"endTime":1769.04,"body":"with this person. An example of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.04,"endTime":1772.79,"body":"that might be I would love to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.04,"endTime":1772.79,"body":"have a cup of coffee with you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.12,"endTime":1776.51,"body":"But I'd rather not do that at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1773.12,"endTime":1776.51,"body":"your house. Would you mind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1776.51,"endTime":1783.53,"body":"meeting me at wherever. Or if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1776.51,"endTime":1783.53,"body":"you keep shouting at me, I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.53,"endTime":1789.53,"body":"hang up the phone. Or if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.53,"endTime":1789.53,"body":"continue to speak that way, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.53,"endTime":1795.5,"body":"treat me that way. I will no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.53,"endTime":1795.5,"body":"longer come around. Or if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.5,"endTime":1799.22,"body":"have something you need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.5,"endTime":1799.22,"body":"address with me please do. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1799.22,"endTime":1802.55,"body":"not willing To keep having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1799.22,"endTime":1802.55,"body":"passive aggressive comments"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.55,"endTime":1803.45,"body":"thrown my way,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1804.83,"endTime":1806.51,"body":"or I love you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.9,"endTime":1810.23,"body":"but I'm not willing to spend the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.9,"endTime":1810.23,"body":"weekend at your house, I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1810.23,"endTime":1813.38,"body":"make my own accommodations. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1810.23,"endTime":1813.38,"body":"we can make plans that work for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1813.38,"endTime":1814.31,"body":"both of us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1814.55,"endTime":1815.45,"body":"from there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.16,"endTime":1821.99,"body":"Having boundaries can be very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.16,"endTime":1821.99,"body":"uncomfortable for you and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.99,"endTime":1826.76,"body":"person on the receiving end. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.99,"endTime":1826.76,"body":"it can feel like such a stretch"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1826.79,"endTime":1830.06,"body":"as you are creating these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1826.79,"endTime":1830.06,"body":"boundaries and then verbalizing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.06,"endTime":1836.24,"body":"them. But I guarantee you, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1830.06,"endTime":1836.24,"body":"will make your life so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.27,"endTime":1840.38,"body":"better. And if I know anything,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.27,"endTime":1840.38,"body":"it is this, my mom used to tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1840.38,"endTime":1843.38,"body":"me all the time growing up, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1840.38,"endTime":1843.38,"body":"especially through my parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1843.38,"endTime":1848.42,"body":"divorce, you teach people how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1843.38,"endTime":1848.42,"body":"treat you. And again, we can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.42,"endTime":1851.81,"body":"that consciously or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.42,"endTime":1851.81,"body":"subconsciously, I want to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.81,"endTime":1855.5,"body":"that consciously. I want people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.81,"endTime":1855.5,"body":"to know that I have certain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1855.5,"endTime":1860.18,"body":"expectations and relationships,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1855.5,"endTime":1860.18,"body":"and certain expectations around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1861.05,"endTime":1865.73,"body":"how I allow other people to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1861.05,"endTime":1865.73,"body":"treat me and talk to me, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.15,"endTime":1871.67,"body":"I have self respect. And we all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1866.15,"endTime":1871.67,"body":"should have enough self respect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.91,"endTime":1874.46,"body":"to have those boundaries in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.91,"endTime":1874.46,"body":"place so that we're not having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.46,"endTime":1878.06,"body":"that negative kind of BS just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.46,"endTime":1878.06,"body":"trickling in our lives day in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.06,"endTime":1884.15,"body":"and day out. Oh, goodness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1878.06,"endTime":1884.15,"body":"gracious. I used to bend over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1884.15,"endTime":1886.4,"body":"backwards for people because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1884.15,"endTime":1886.4,"body":"thought that that was the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.4,"endTime":1892.16,"body":"Christian way, or the spiritual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.4,"endTime":1892.16,"body":"thing to do. I morphed and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1892.16,"endTime":1895.19,"body":"squeezed myself into situations"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1892.16,"endTime":1895.19,"body":"that would leave me feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1895.19,"endTime":1900.41,"body":"hollow and emotionally abused. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1895.19,"endTime":1900.41,"body":"even put myself in situations"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1900.56,"endTime":1906.98,"body":"that were dangerous and lead to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1900.56,"endTime":1906.98,"body":"some serious drama. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.98,"endTime":1910.76,"body":"question that I have for myself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.98,"endTime":1910.76,"body":"and for you is what is spiritual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1910.76,"endTime":1916.16,"body":"or Christian about any of that?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1910.76,"endTime":1916.16,"body":"Nothing. We have to know when to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1916.16,"endTime":1923.57,"body":"step back, and when to walk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1916.16,"endTime":1923.57,"body":"away. Ultimately, and this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.57,"endTime":1929.06,"body":"what I want to end with my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1923.57,"endTime":1929.06,"body":"peace. My inner peace is my own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1929.06,"endTime":1932.18,"body":"responsibility. Your peace"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1932.45,"endTime":1934.46,"body":"is your responsibility."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1935.42,"endTime":1939.74,"body":"You have to actively protect it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1935.42,"endTime":1939.74,"body":"And this can mean having a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1939.74,"endTime":1943.61,"body":"heightened sense of awareness as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1939.74,"endTime":1943.61,"body":"you navigate difficult and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1943.61,"endTime":1944.21,"body":"delicate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1944.51,"endTime":1945.68,"body":"relationships."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.01,"endTime":1951.89,"body":"And just remember my beautiful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.01,"endTime":1951.89,"body":"beautiful listener. No one can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1951.89,"endTime":1957.68,"body":"steal our peace unless we let"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1951.89,"endTime":1957.68,"body":"them. You have been listening to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.68,"endTime":1961.31,"body":"self discovery with Jaclyn"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.68,"endTime":1961.31,"body":"Steele. For more information or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.31,"endTime":1964.67,"body":"to submit a question please"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.31,"endTime":1964.67,"body":"visit Jaclyn steele.com slash"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.67,"endTime":1969.47,"body":"self discovery pod. On Instagram"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.67,"endTime":1969.47,"body":"I am at Jaclyn Steele and that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1969.47,"endTime":1973.88,"body":"j AC Li n s t e l e and on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1969.47,"endTime":1973.88,"body":"YouTube you can find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.88,"endTime":1977.66,"body":"me@youtube.com slash official"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.88,"endTime":1977.66,"body":"Jaclyn Steele. If you haven't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1977.66,"endTime":1980.87,"body":"already, please sign up for my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1977.66,"endTime":1980.87,"body":"high vibe Thursday newsletter"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1980.87,"endTime":1985.1,"body":"where I send one email a week"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1980.87,"endTime":1985.1,"body":"aimed at inspiring and elevating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1985.1,"endTime":1989.09,"body":"your day because you freaking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1985.1,"endTime":1989.09,"body":"deserve it. You can sign up in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.09,"endTime":1992.96,"body":"the show notes or by visiting my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.09,"endTime":1992.96,"body":"website Jaclyn steele.com. May"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.96,"endTime":1997.82,"body":"you go and be big and brave and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.96,"endTime":1997.82,"body":"bold today. Remember that life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.82,"endTime":2001.6,"body":"gets easier when we know who we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.82,"endTime":2001.6,"body":"are. And as always,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.66,"endTime":2002.92,"body":"and until next time."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.28,"endTime":2006.58,"body":"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.28,"endTime":2006.58,"body":"for listening"}]}