Self Discovery with Jaclyn Steele

Founder of the Mala Collective, Ashley Wray, on mindfulness, meditation, & self worth

March 17, 2021 Jaclyn Steele Episode 62
Self Discovery with Jaclyn Steele
Founder of the Mala Collective, Ashley Wray, on mindfulness, meditation, & self worth
Show Notes Transcript

World traveler, successful CEO, and mindfulness practitioner, Ashley Wray, joins us in today's episode. Ashley is the founder of the Mala Collective - a meditation product focused company featured in Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop, GQ, Free People, Anthropologie, and more.

My conversation Ashley showed just how extraordinary this human being is. She is truly a luminary that uses her extensive travels, vision for a more conscious future, and business savvy to create products and experiences that are thoughtful opportunities for deeper enlightenment.

In this episode, you can expect to fall in love with Ashley and her company, Mala Collective, as well as walk away with some practical advice on living a more mindful life.

CONNECT WITH ASHLEY:
Instagram: @ashley__wray
Website: https://www.ashleywray.co
Mala Collective: https://www.malacollective.com
Mala Collective Instagram: @malacollective

BOOKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED:
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert


PARKER CLAY:
https://www.parkerclay.com/ and use Code: PC-JACLYN20 for 20% off

LIVING LIBATIONS:
livinglibations.com and use Code: JACLYN12 for 12% off


CONNECT WITH JACLYN:

+ Website: jaclynsteele.com

+ Instagram: @jaclynsteele

+ Youtube: officialjaclynsteele

+ Facebook: jaclynsteeleinternational

+ Clubhouse: @jaclynsteele

+ Sign up for THE SCOOP & get the skinny on the latest wellness, beauty, & self development trends, as well as exclusive email-only content.

TEXT ME:

+1 480-531-6858 or follow this link. :)

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Paypal

Light, Love, & Peace,

Jaclyn Steele

Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=7SLKVGC37E8SU)

Unknown:

Not one thing will all of a sudden make you start meditating. It's only you that can get you through your meditation practice you and your breath. We just make things if you want the support, if you want a physical reminder, if you want a physical manifestation of, you know, your appreciation of self love, your commitment to self love, so nothing we make will make you the best meditator. It's, it's simply something to help you on your path and inspire you on your journey. Hi,

Jaclyn Steele:

I am Jaclyn Steele, and welcome to self discovery. Howard Thurman so beautifully wrote, don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive, coming alive. That, my friends, is what self discovery is

Unknown:

all about. You're aware that

Jaclyn Steele:

this episode of self discovery is supported by living libations. I was turned on to this company after my hashimotos diagnosis. I've always always loved clean beauty products, but living libations is clean on another level. I'll explain a little bit about why their primary ingredients are plant oils, and plant oils are botanical miracles. When oils are skillfully combined, the mosaic effect of 1000s of plant compounds burst forth with an intelligence and a life force that defines every single living libations creation. This not only makes their products extremely effective, and I can attest to that because the first night I started using them, I noticed a difference the next morning one freaking night, but it also makes these products smell amazing like heaven. In addition, living libations products are cruelty free, they're Fairtrade and almost all the products are raw, gluten free and vegan. I cannot say enough about this incredible company, I have so many of their products, I have their best skin ever cleansing oil and seabuckthorn I have their rose renewal serum, it's heaven. I have their soothsayer serum. If you feel like your skin is aging. This is a perfect serum for you the soothsayer serum, I have their happy gumdrops for healthy teeth, I have their shampoo and conditioner, I have their Frankincense toothpaste, I have their deodorant, I have their love butter, I could go on and on and on about all the products that I have from them. And I am mindfully switching out all of my old products in exchange for living libations products because of the efficacy of their products, the mission behind them and the way that the company is run their commitment to diversity and environmental protection. Anyway, all that to say this is a company that I absolutely believe in and want to continue to support if you are feeling at all overwhelmed by all of their high quality offerings like I was in the beginning, I recommend starting with the best skin ever. In seabuckthorn It smells amazing and you can cleanse and moisturize with it. Visit living libations.com and use code Jacqueline 12 for 12% off your purchase, living libations calm and Jacqueline 12 for 12% off your purchase. Links are in the show notes. And now back to the episode.

Unknown:

Three, two, okay.

Jaclyn Steele:

Oh beautiful listeners. Thank you so much for participating in today's episode. I'm so excited to introduce you to Ashley RAE of the mall collective. She and her company have been featured in Gwyneth Paltrow, goop, Vogue, GQ, anthropology, free people, and more. So thank you for being here. Ashley, I'm so excited to have you.

Unknown:

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so grateful. I know I like I just want to ask you all the questions. So

Jaclyn Steele:

can you tell us a little bit about how you got your personal start, and why you started the Moloch collective?

Unknown:

Oh, yeah. It's a pretty cool story. So we're getting we're getting right into it. Yes. I used to be a journalist. I used to cover murder trials, maybe 10 years ago now. And actually, it's 10 years because mala turns 10 this year, so it's 10 years ago now. And I won a national award my partner at the time quit our jobs kind of went to that quarterlife crisis of what now? Is this what we're meant to be doing? It's It's where life is meant to look like. packed our bags, went traveling, ended up in Bali fell in love with these mala beads kept going back and buying them And realize the different gemstones have different healing qualities and different intentions behind them. And when we were flying from Bali to Thailand, a woman came up to us on the flight and said, Oh, your aura is so beautiful. And she sat down, started talking to us. And she ended up being the woman that made the beads that we had bought. So it was a very serendipitous experience, a very accidental start to entrepreneurship. Very beautiful, very, very beautiful story. And I always say to people, there's a lot of moments of serendipity in our lives. And we're always interacting with people that can change our lives, and we can change theirs. It takes a level of trust and letting go and surrendering. And when I look back on that now, I realized that was such a moment of surrendering, and trusting, followed by nine years of hustle, unknown and figuring out payroll and HR and you know, the trials and tribulations of running a business. But that moment was so electric and beautiful. And we can all have those moments. So I don't want that to make it sound like it's only me that has had this experience because we all get beautiful serendipitous meanings that people

Jaclyn Steele:

Oh, and well. Your story is so beautiful. First of all, Bali is one of those places that I had a spiritual experience at as well, my husband and I went on our honeymoon. So I have such deep spiritual connections to Bali as well. And I really relate to you there. Another thing that I love that you brought up is that your business started with this beautiful serendipitous moment. But that doesn't mean everything is going to be easy. Right. And I was listening to a podcast about this this morning. And I think so often, human tendency is to go well, if it's hard, maybe I'm not supposed to be doing it. And I just don't think that's the case. And I think you're a perfect example of something can start so serendipitously with such ease, but that doesn't mean that there aren't going to be hardships along the way. And those hardships, in my opinion, are the universe coming up behind us going, I'm going to teach you this is your opportunity to learn I'm going to steer you in this direction. And it's hard. But like Ryan Holiday says the obstacle is the way. Yeah, so if we can be leaning into that, and embracing that I feel like our lives will just exponentially expand.

Unknown:

Yes. Oh, you said that so beautifully. I think resistance is a beautiful thing. discomfort is a beautiful thing. And allowing ease is a beautiful thing. Just because something's a little bit uncomfortable, doesn't mean we should give up or stop. But I do always believe in this path of least resistance and allowing ease and allowing, allowing, allowing, allowing, instead of forcing, forcing, forcing. So there's there's a there's a fine line there. So it's great, you brought it up.

Jaclyn Steele:

That's such a good lesson for me in particular, because I am. I am hard driving on myself. And it has never landed me in a good spot. And I think what you said there's it's so important for us to in moments of discomfort or dissonance to understand that that moment is not us. And I think what I have a tendency to do is insert my whole identity into the moment, rather than going this just a part of the process. Yeah, so I'm learning as I get older. And as I dive deeper into self discovery, to create that separation, and choose better in those moments. Instead of being reactive go, how can I take a deep breath here? How can I embrace this? How can I look at this differently?

Unknown:

Yeah, yeah, I love that. And I think that comment that your hard driving on yourself, you know, we're so much kinder to everybody around us than we are to ourselves. And we're so much kinder to our best friends and, you know, people that we work with in our friends or family. And the voice we used to speak to ourself is usually quite judgmental, and quite negative. And we're not as kind and as loving and as generous with our words to ourselves. So I like to visualize speaking to my younger self or to my future self, just to bring a little bit more ease and kindness into my language. That self talk is so important. Oh,

Jaclyn Steele:

I love that. So it's Oh, you hit the nail on the head and I feel like self talk is the crux of either a really beautiful joy filled life. More it is the downfall and it causes us so much difficulty every single day and every single moment.

Unknown:

Yeah, it's so simple. It's so simple. It's so simple. Yeah, it's also what I love about

Jaclyn Steele:

your company so much is that you have these gorgeous chest. I mean, everything that you put out looks like it needs to be in a magazine. But it's all geared toward that deep mindfulness. So I want to talk to you a little bit about that. What drew you to meditation and mindfulness? And can you share a story or a struggle with us, that you used mindfulness for as a catalyst to overcome

Unknown:

that struggle today? I struggle this week, it's an endless amount of

Jaclyn Steele:

misconception is that with somebody like you, as a mindfulness business probably has this lockdown. And you know how to do it all. But I think we're all

Unknown:

figuring it out as we go. No. We are. What a great question. So you know, that serendipitous moment really, it changed the direction of my life. So drastically, like going from writing about murder, to writing about meditation, I remember reading my first post that meditation thinking, Oh, this is so much better. Which was such a good feeling. But I was really curious about meditation. I didn't know a lot about it. And when I started researching it, and asking questions, and Mind you, this is 10 years ago. So it wasn't as popular as it is now. Now, everybody's like, of course, I meditate. Of course, I do this no more, you know, like, it wasn't cool. And mala beads, like I didn't know what they were, I thought that they were just for these like extreme hippies, that, how dare I wear them because I wasn't practicing enough work. I was practicing, I was practicing wrong. So I would say that, that whole, like dipping my toe super slowly into meditation started with the business and getting curious. So I feel like mala has been really, you know, selfishly a reflection of my own journey and my own curiosities and meditation, thinking, well, if I have this question, I bet somebody else has this question. I bet somebody else thinks this. I bet somebody else's mind wanders, I bet somebody else's like falls asleep. But we just don't talk about it. We don't normalize. It's such an internalized experience. And then we think we're doing it wrong. And then we judge ourselves. That's that's a whole other story, but how it's helped me overcome things. You know, I'll share it. But when I when I started the business because I didn't have a business background. Because I had no idea what I was doing it that naivety was such a gift because I didn't know I didn't know. But it was also so hindering because I just felt like I wasn't good enough to be running the business. And I really planted this seed for the first like, good five years six years, but I wasn't enough I wasn't enough this I wasn't good enough that I wasn't you know, any fill in the blank. I wasn't this wasn't this stuff wasn't this enough. And it was every night. I was in tears every night ended with this vision of me crying on the couch thinking, God Who am I to run this business? Can't somebody else do this? Somebody else who knows way more about meditation? Why does it have to be me, and I'm doing a disservice to all these people. They have no idea that I don't know what I'm doing. It was so debilitating that I I never asked for help. I never reached out I never normalized never talked about it. And you know, I went down this like shame spiral on my own instead of normalizing it and realizing we all have those limiting beliefs. We always we all have those fears in some capacity. And through my meditation practice, I slowly started overcoming that and I had one meditation where I heard this voice inside Okay, actually get over yourself now. You playing in this place I know. I'm pretty sure was set with a whole bunch of love. It was Get over yourself you playing small is actually incredibly selfish. Because you're robbing so many people have a beautiful experience. And that wasn't set in the sense of ego of Moloch collective as the be all end all. It was my eyes. It was a pretty profound moment to realize, if somebody is seeking, how beautiful would it be if I got off myself and showed up so I can meet that person. And not, you know, not necessarily me as an individual but me My fear is blocking mala from growth. And that's robbing so many beautiful experiences. And we were getting emails from people saying this mala helped me through sex change show me through abusive, you know, abusive divorce helped me through my kids leaving to go to college and I'm empty nesting. It helped me through this flight around the world. Everybody's in this transition. And myself, you know, crying on my couch every night in my apartment, realizing Oh, Ashley, like, get over it girl, like, show up because this is so much bigger than you. And as soon as you know it really hit me. This is so much bigger than me and I get to just be a medium to help to help people go down the path I was I was exploring. In that moment of meditation of mindfulness, what does it mean to live with mindfulness? what is meditation? Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? And how do you remove that judgment? How do you remove the black and white the right and wrong? And just allow people to figure out what works for them. And that took me so many years, which is hilarious, because you would think, how this person had a really strong meditation practice and start meditation company? No, I was I was seeking it just as much as I was teaching it. So and that's often what ends up happening as we teach what we are seeking. And so that was, you know, that was the manifestation of the business for so many years. And I'm still seeking, I'm still learning. And, you know, I finished two meditation trainings in the fall and an intuition training, and I still love to be a student and learn. And usually when we're not on lockdown, we're not on COVID. I'm traveling between like Bali, India, and Nepal, in LA in New York, and taking as many meditation trainings as many, you know, absorb, absorb, absorb, because there isn't one right way to meditate. And how cool is it to learn, like a buffet of options and an offer and say, Hey, just feel good for you. Cool. Here's another one, does it feel good, and you don't need anything we make to meditate. Not one thing will all of a sudden make you start meditating. It's only you that can get you through your meditation practice you and your breath, we just make things if you want the support, if you want a physical reminder, if you want a physical manifestation of, you know, your appreciation of self love, your commitment to self love, so nothing we make, will make you the best meditator. It's, it's simply something to help you on your path and inspire you on your journey. And, you know, be made with intention and be made beautifully to help. whatever whatever manifestation your journey is,

Jaclyn Steele:

I feel like your products are a beautiful reminder and a beautiful invitation. Like a catalyst. Well, and I just like it's hard for me not to tear up. But I relate so deeply to everything that you just said. And you know, here I have this podcast called self discovery. But I'm on this self discovery journey. And I struggle with self worth and self doubt and going, who am I to do this? Who am I to share my experience, but what you said, when you you said in your meditation that you felt somebody saying to you or a higher power saying to you, it's time to get over yourself? I am, I have anything in my life, I am my biggest roadblock. And it comes from self doubt, self worth, and not feeling enough feeling like I'm an imposter in areas. And I think, to have a vulnerable conversation like we're having right now where we totally normalize that, because I don't think any person on this planet, if they're honest, doesn't feel that at one point or another. But we cannot let it stop us because of exactly what you said, you're going to be robbing people of this beauty of this education of this opportunity. And I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that every human on this planet has some kind of light, some kind of gift to give. And if we hold that back, it's like saying, hey, God, here are these blessings that you gave me just take them back, I'm not willing to do anything with them.

Unknown:

Mm hmm. Yeah. And when we're so aligned, and called to purpose, that when we're not living in that you can feel it, you can feel it in your body, you can feel it. And in every step of your day, when you're, you know, I believe we all have potential, we all have this, you know, version of ourselves that we want to become, and that we are called to that we can feel that we are called to and pulled to. And stepping into purpose is a big act. That's a scary, it's a scary,

Jaclyn Steele:

it's really scary. And you know, I just thought of this, I actually woke up in the middle of the night. Today at like 3am. And I had this rush of anxiety that was saying, you haven't done enough, you have not done it. And for one of this is probably the first time I've ever done this. I literally said to that voice. I have done enough. I have every little step counts. And for people like me, I'm a type A personality. I've always been ambitious. I create my own dissonance, because I'm like you should be farther you don't have enough time you blah, blah, blah, blah. It's all of these lies that we tell ourselves that caused that caused so much Nxd mentally, physically, spiritually, and for me, relating it back to what you just said. We feel it in our bodies, and in August, I was diagnosed with hashimotos thyroiditis. So my hormone levels are off. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, so much of that has to do with the way that I've been driving myself and speaking to myself. And now, I have the opportunity, of course, to call on healers and doctors, but also to call on my own inner wisdom and go, Hey, Bodhi, what do you need that I've been denying you? Let me stop for a minute, and focus on what's actually important, rather than all of these, like, what ifs or should have done, et cetera. So what

Unknown:

a gift I think that stepping back of doing less and receiving.

Jaclyn Steele:

Cool. It's such a nice place to be in, at least, it is. And the ironic piece is that when I slow down, I actually speed up. Yeah. And that's so hard for me to remember, but it's true. Okay,

Unknown:

I get it. I get it. Yeah. Next question.

Jaclyn Steele:

For people who are intimidated by meditation, what are some tips that you have to get started to eliminate some of that intimidation factor?

Unknown:

I feel like you're the perfect question. Okay, I would say, first, building a habit can be can be really difficult, or we can make it really difficult, we can make it really easy as well. So I always suggest when we're trying to start a meditation practice, tie it to something that already is a habit for you. So if that means every morning, you wake up, and you put the kettle on to make tea, make that your trigger to go sit down and do a meditation for two minutes or four minutes. So tie it to a thing that's already a part of your habit each day, instead of trying to carve out Should I meditate this time or at this time? And where should I do it? And how should I do it, just remove those questions. And do at the same time every day after something you already repeat. So tea or coffee or brushing your teeth, whatever it is, that then becomes the next step is meditation. Try that. So that's the first step. Second, is start small, you know, do two minutes, do four minutes, do six minutes, do eight minutes to slowly build your way up. And don't worry about the form of how you're doing it. I had a teacher say to me, once you've meditated every day for 200 days, then you can worry about the technique. You can just sit there and breathe for 200 days first. And then you can worry about if you're sitting right or if you're doing right this right. You know, we get so many questions that really come up and as resistance. am I sitting right? Am I holding my mala correctly? What kind of counting? Should I do when I'm breathing? Should I do this? Should I whatever? So like, for you? The perfect the perfect? Yes. Correct? Yes. And all we're doing is we're blocking ourselves through more questions. And I was on a retreat in India and doing the same thing asking so many questions. I wanted to do it right. And the teachers looked me in front of everybody. Ashley, you're avoiding doing the practice? Who cares? Just sit there. Like, okay, thank you, it was such a good reminder, because we want to make sure we're doing it right, we want to feel like we're doing the right thing. Or we're sitting in the most ideal light, or whatever it is just know, if it's comfortable, then do that. That's it. And just do it. That's it. And then last, I would say don't be so hard on yourself if you miss a day like we have such an all or nothing approach. So you know, when we host we do a lot of free content at Mala. And we give a lot of free meditations. Thank you. And I always find it really curious if we do like a seven day challenge or 21 Day Challenge. The amount of people drop off once they've missed a day. And we have such a mental block around this all or nothing that if I've missed a day, that means I'm the worst I have to give up. It's okay, just go back the next day. Don't be so hard. And if you miss four days, that's cool. Come back day after like, it's, it's this process of being kinder to ourselves when we're building a new habit and we're bringing something new into our lives. Just like when we're actually in the meditation practice, our mind is gonna wander. If you picture like spokes, on a bicycle wheel, like that's our mind wandering over and over and over and over and over again, coming back to that focal point. And our focal point can be our breath, or our mantra. So I like to use affirmations like I am love. I am grounded. I'm intuitive, I'm supported, or your mala, which is what we make. So the tool to help you tact. Like it's a physical thing that you can bring your energy and your attention back to. So those are your focal points and when your mind starts to wander, which it will, that's okay, just come back to it. Come back to that tactile thing. Come back to your monitor, come back to your breath. But when you're out here wondering when you realize that your mind has drifted off, and maybe you hear a dog or your legs asleep. We have a choice of judging ourselves and saying no, I'm the worst. The worst meditator I shouldn't be doing this. Oh, Mike I'm actually also really hungry, how much longer is this going to be this Spiral Spiral Spiral or, okay? Yeah, my mind just wandering, I'm going to come back to my Mama, I'm going to come back to my mantra, and come back to my breath. And the more we do that, because I'm just going to wander, let's say, 100 times in 10 minutes, it's 100 times get to practice talking to herself with kindness, and be easy on ourselves. So what a gift that we get to practice that over and over. And then if we miss a day, practice that, again, just keep coming back to your breath, the next day, and the next day, without judging yourself for wandering off or missing a day. It is such a practice of self talk, and not getting caught up in that downward shame spiral. Oh,

Jaclyn Steele:

I just want to sit in everything that you just said. Because I think so many of us need to hear that. We don't need to be perfect and striving to be perfect. And I've done a couple of episodes on perfectionism because I am such a perfectionist. But what's the point, we're never going to get there. And we might as well have a little fun in our lives. And perfectionism stops that it prevents us from growth. And so to be able to just keep showing up, and I love the idea of that could be 100 opportunities for you to be kind to yourself, and to just gently draw yourself back into your center.

Unknown:

Yeah, that's so beautiful.

Jaclyn Steele:

Okay, since you are in the wellness space, what mental or health or style trends are you seeing for 2021?

Unknown:

Well, based on my experiences in the past few years, people are so much more open about talking about their own practices and their own experiences. I would say, if I had to predict anything, it's as soon as we can all meet again that we can reconnect and meditate together and bring it to retreat to bring it to well, and bring it to connection based wellness. I think it's something we've been missing so deeply. And I know I miss it very deeply. By the this, it's so powerful meditating alone, but getting together with like minded people and sharing that energy is one of the most incredible experiences to be able to sit in a room of 20 women, 30 women, 50 women, or you know, men and women, and meditate and cry, journal and share. It's such a healing cathartic experience. I think as soon as we can meet again, in person, that's going to be a thing everybody is going after, because I think we're just missing that connection. So, so deeply. And what a gift that we've been able to work on self connection. But oh, we made that connection. Yeah. As humans,

Jaclyn Steele:

we need both. And,

Unknown:

Ashley, the

Jaclyn Steele:

next retreat you put on you let me know, I

Unknown:

want to come I feel so much. I've never hosted a retreat. But we're we're trying to figure out when, when and how we can do that. I really, I know how much I've learned from going to retreats. And not just from the teacher but from the people around me. Usually it's the person you're sitting beside reflects so much back to you and the things that you learn from the people that you don't like it's almost even more replies. Well, what are you mirroring in me right now? It's, it's such a gift to go to these events. Not saying that, you know, I mean, I don't like our tweets. But if there's somebody that triggers you, for example. It's an awareness like, Oh, what's that reflecting in me that I don't like about myself? So that's been Yeah, I missed that so much. So we're definitely working on that. We're going to start hosting monthly meditation nights online, which is pretty cool. So I'll let you know when we start doing that. But yeah, I missed that connection. And

Jaclyn Steele:

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Unknown:

Again,

Jaclyn Steele:

that's p c dash Jacqueline 24 20% off your order, you can find the link and all of the details in the show notes below. Now back to the episode.

Unknown:

I recently started coaching women in this space and wellness and in business. And I all of them have echoed how much they miss that connection. And in person, almost all of them actually are ramping up to host in person events as well, which is quite curious.

Jaclyn Steele:

Yeah, we just need that. And I think, too, as women, we so often process our feelings out loud and together. And it's hard to do that on your own. You know, journaling is such a beautiful tool. And I use that regularly. I love the Joan Didion quote where she was like I write so I can figure out how I feel. I'm very much like that. But I also need somebody to bounce ideas off of to bounce solutions off of. And so I love that you see that as a trend versus like buying something here having to go here or, you know, making it a more materialistic kind of thing like the wellness space so often does. This is so connective, and we do we need that more than ever. I think 2020 taught us If nothing else, we need each other.

Unknown:

Mm hmm. There's always way more stuff, more stuff that we don't really need. I think that that experience of people reflecting things back to us and holding that space for us. is so, so beautiful. Oh, I'm just I mean, I'm in love with all the experiences I've had in that capacity. And I can't wait. I can't wait to do it again. I need to sister Me too.

Jaclyn Steele:

So I speak about the importance of cultivating self worth a lot in this podcast as a successful female CEO. How has self worth played a role in your success? And do you have a story in which your self worth was wavering? But you found a way to overcome?

Unknown:

Wow, that's beautiful question. You know, first off, thank you for calling me a successful entrepreneur. That's a really beautiful compliment. Of course, of course. Yeah, I don't think we we don't like slow down and appreciate where we've, what we've accomplished, especially as women, I think we're just like next, next, next, next, and

Jaclyn Steele:

Ashley was celebrated is not only successful, but it's beautiful, and it's blessing other people. That's a big deal. And I think that's what we need to be doing as humans walking into a better future. So I recognize that so deeply. And thank you for sharing that and getting over your own fears to be able to share.

Unknown:

Thank you. Thank you. I mean, I don't want to say I'm over all of my fears. That I can answer that question exactly is, you know, I was I was doing an interview a while ago and we were talking about overcoming that lack of enough miss that feeling of I'm not enough. And I said, you know, it's not a friendly feeling to have. I'm not this enough. I'm not good enough here, here here. But I think there's something beautiful about having a different a new limiting belief shows us that we're growing and we're breaking a new barrier. We're breaking through to a new uncomfortable level, a new uncomfortable level, a new breakthrough, a new breakthrough, new breakthrough. So they're not always bad. But what I've experienced, you know, I'm not in this place where like, I'm good enough. Everything's great. I'm not I'm not completely fearless. Every every week, every month that I push myself a little bit more, I get a little bit more uncomfortable. But I realized, okay, I'm, I'm uncomfortable, how do I work through this. So you know, meditation has been a big tool for me. Gratitude journaling has been, I would say, one of the most life changing things. Next meditation. I do it every morning, I noticed as soon as I sit down and write out my gratitudes, I do 10 minutes every morning, same seat, my apartment, same coffee mug, same but like, you know, same routine every day. And it shifts me into a place of positive possibility, and positivity and abundance, and appreciation. And that mind shift has helped me so much when, when I am leveling up. And when I'm getting into this uncomfortable place, that my problem solving, or anything strategic becomes more opportunity and abundant and more possibility focused rather than how am I going to fix this and like firefighting, and putting out fires all day long. So I think with every uncomfortable leveling up, there's a new limiting belief that comes in and I, I'd be pretty bored. If I thought, yeah, everything's perfect. And I'm totally happily content and never need to grow or shift again, I like that growth. I like that challenge. And I like to work through those limiting beliefs with as much love and kindness as I can to myself. So I'm not wallowing in that limiting spot. So, you know, most recently, like I mentioned, I've tapped into coaching, that for me, was like a year it took for me to feel that I was good enough to do that. Or another great example, I started writing a book about this, about stepping into your enough this. And I said, I don't feel like I'm good enough to write this. And just like, I really hope you understand the irony that this book is called I'm enough and that you've just said that out loud. Like, well, yeah, because it's, it's an uncomfortable thing to step into something bigger than ourselves. So this, this poll that I feel to purpose of writing, of coaching of normalizing fears of saying, hey, it's okay that you felt that I've also felt that and here's how I've gotten over it, and just connecting through loving sex to overcome shame and overcome doubt and overcome, you know, these low points and knowing we're not alone, just humanizing, normalizing that human experience that we all go through it, and providing as much love and caring space for somebody else. Now, I feel Oh, my gosh, I can't we I was so scared. I can't remember. So I feel so much love and gratitude. After every call, I get off like it is the most heart filling experience. And I can't believe I waited this long to step into this place. And I wasn't ready before I did. You know, the day I stepped into it is the day I want to step into it. So there's still there's still always going to be little things that, you know, super nervous about and but so grateful that I'm I'm still pushing to be nervous about things. Oh, I love

Jaclyn Steele:

that so much. And I feel like self worth is one of those things. And I've talked about this before, but we want to wake up one day and like magically have all this self worth and self confidence. But I think it comes from the little steps. And really I think the biggest catalyst is self talk, like you doing what you're doing and continuing to walk forward despite fear or despite self doubt, or me waking up in the middle of the night and saying, you know what, no, I'm not going to go down this path of I haven't done enough. I have, and I still have time. And I think it's catching ourselves in those moments, and using them as an opportunity to flip the script to change the story to adopt a narrative that is more empowering. Yeah. And when I think about you and now like getting to know you in this conversation of going from somebody who felt like they didn't know how to start a business or how to get this thing going, and then fast forward and you're in goop. Gwyneth Paltrow his blog. Like how did that moment feel when you realize that Gwyneth Paltrow took notice of what you were doing?

Unknown:

Like get real micro with it because I didn't get better for you. So the last fight I took before quarantine was to LA to do an event with Gwyneth Paltrow. And like her VIP, so it was a very exclusive event. And you know, flying down there was like, pretty cool. And then walking in and seeing her with a mala on I was like, Oh, this is this is the coolest thing ever. And I feel like I have my eyes. It was cool. It was so neat. And you know, it was just as neat. Actually, finally, I would say that excitement level. I don't actually think that that was as exciting is the first time I saw somebody Where are mala I will Never forget that moment. I remember driving down the street in Vancouver and seeing somebody cross the street where I went to my malls, and laying on the horn and waving at them, obviously scared the light for that person, no idea what I was doing. But that moment, that moment was the coolest. And the first time I saw somebody wearing a bracelet, they were in a coffee shop, I start banging on the window and yelling, I love your bracelet. And like those moments, bring so much joy. And then to see, you know, to go to group headquarters, and to see all these women wearing our mallos they hosted this event and they used our models to split them into different energetic groups, it was pretty cool. Based on different tensions, that was so beautiful to see, like, Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And, you know, for as much controversy as goop and Gwyneth Paltrow stirs up, I think the conversation that she's holding space for is so beautiful, and so profound found to meet women in this place of different forms of healing. I'm not saying that they're all right. And I'm not saying that they're wrong. But what she's created in the conversation she has started is so spectacular. And to be in that space, it was it was pretty cool. And it was a very feminine feeling. Because it was such a girly, yeah. But all of them have been cool. You know, like, it's the coolest thing to create a vision board and to see somebody that you like cut out from a vision board. In real life. They're wearing it now, like I was in Forbes two weeks ago, that that made me cry that was oh, I cut Forbes out like years ago and put that down and to see these, I so believe that if we are clear on our manifest, and that we can achieve those things. And even if we don't look at that vision board every day, it's not like I would have to be more on like Forbes, Forbes, Forbes. Gwyneth Paltrow give me grant like, you know, these are things that when we are when we know where we're going, we have clarity on what we want to feel and clarity of, you know, what we're working towards. It's so much more, we're able to welcome it in so much more, what's much more clarity. So I still believe in those moments.

Jaclyn Steele:

Oh, I do too. And to think of all the people that are enjoying your offerings, because, again, because you decided to move past your fear. Yeah, how relatable, you wouldn't have been in Forbes, or in Google, or GQ, or anthropology or any of those things, if you hadn't actively decided to push past your fear. And I find that so inspiring, because I feel like I'm at a place personally, where I have done so much self development over the last 16 years. And I my fallback is I'm scared. So I'm going to, I'm going to read a book about this, and then I won't be scared anymore. And I'm now at a point where I have to push through that barrier. And continue to act out what I feel led to do versus that fallback of I'll just learn more, I'll learn more, I'll learn more. Now there comes a time where we have to say we know enough in this moment, to go into the next moment.

Unknown:

So I hear you're reading books is very similar to my asking questions like it is, it is a justifiable form of avoidance, because we can say, Oh, no, I'm just trying to get clear. I'm just trying to get more clarity. And everyone be like, Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Of course, you should read that book. Of course, you should take that online course. Of course, the amount of trainings I've taken, I've had friends pull me aside and say, okay, Ashley, I think you need to stop. You're taking so many trainings, you already know it. Now just do the work, just do the thing. And that that leap is so that leap is like I get it it like oh my gosh, it's like, like losing your breath or when you're on like a roller coaster. And you know, he feel winded. I hear you. And I feel that and what I offer in that moment is, in my experiences, momentum builds confidence. So the more that we do, and we do and we practice, it's like a snowball coming down the hill gets bigger and bigger and bigger and our confidence grows. Every time we do and we act. And I am guilty of the exact same thing. So I have to remind myself of momentum builds confidence, momentum, builds confidence, momentum builds confidence, and you've got it girl, if you've been doing 16 years, you've been reading these books and your husband's podcast in your holding space so beautifully. And you're asking such thoughtful, profound questions. You're already doing it, you're in the work, you're doing it, you're showing up. And people that are listening right now. They're doing and they're learning by listening like you know, by showing up and taking that first step of seeking out somewhere like yourself, to hear that wisdom and hear that language and find their community like these are all forms of momentum to build that confidence for us

Jaclyn Steele:

and they all count We don't have to have some, you know, a certain amount of money in the bank or to be published in a certain place, whatever the case may be, yeah, matter or to be making progress. And I think so often, especially with women in a western world, I think we are with the marketing system just with the way culture is. We're so often taught to compare ourselves and to pin ourselves against one another. But the brilliance that occurs when women come together, and we have conversations like this, and we normalize all the feelings that we all feel it's such an empowering experience.

Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Jaclyn Steele:

I have some rapid fire questions for you. I'm enjoying this.

Unknown:

Okay,

Jaclyn Steele:

I adore you. But I want to know a little bit more so okay, Rapid Fire. Fire away. What do you take comfort in?

Unknown:

Knowing that there is always more there's always enough there's always enough there's always enough. I had a shaman in Bali once say to me, he always called me darling. He's like my darling My darling. He's like, I was in a place of heartbreak. I was going through divorce and I felt really broken and really sad and really lost. thinking I'm never gonna find this love I'm never gonna find love again. I'm never gonna find this we're gonna you know scarcity, scarcity, scarcity and fear and pain. And he said My darling what is above the sky? I don't know if it feels like a trick question. I don't know. My darling there's more sky there's always more there's always more there's always enough there's more love. There's more abundance. There's more laughter more fun. There's more travel there's more this this this you know, it was this place of there's so much more than we can even imagine our seat in that moment. In this moment right now. You know when we're having this beautiful conversation when we're in this place of abundance and possibility or we're in this place of heartache that there's always so much more that has always stuck with me is as most beautiful shift of perspective that there's so much more we don't we don't know about it takes some pressure off.

Jaclyn Steele:

It takes so much pressure off. Yeah, what instantly brings you joy? Oh,

Unknown:

puppies. Do you think he was the first thing I could see that just makes me the happiest? I just love puppies. I mean, like a whole bunch of things. Also crystals I like I guess that is a true reflection of my business but I have crystals everywhere and I am so in awe that they come out of the earth looking the way they do like is 10 years it's not lost on me. I feel like a little kid on Christmas whenever we get crystal sent to us of like it had this one shaped Look at the color in this one like it's it is magic. reincarnate into something physical. I just find crystals for the most magical, beautiful, tangible things that are just, I mean, all the arrows provides.

Jaclyn Steele:

Yeah, never ceases to keep me in a state of awe. Yeah, have you read super quick Have you read Renegade beauty by Nadine artemus.

Unknown:

Now, I feel like sounds like a good one.

Jaclyn Steele:

I flip beauty. Okay. Yes, her, but she talks about basically the whole ecosystem of Earth, and how each part is so uniquely geared toward helping us thrive. And then lines out and lines up a way for us to live in harmony with nature. And she started a company called Living libations. She's actually going to be on the podcast in April. Okay, started this company. She's in Canada too, called libations. And it's all skincare and body products. But they're made from the purest botanicals on Earth. There's nothing nothing, no parabens, no gluten. They're made from you know, like the purest essential oils. And I just feel like you would really relate to her. You guys have a similar very high vibe sort of

Unknown:

energy. Okay, cool. Thank you. Email that of course, I would love that.

Jaclyn Steele:

I would love I feel like you would love it. And she's also very into crystals and meditation and mindfulness. Yes. Okay. Who or what has been your greatest teacher?

Unknown:

Oh oh, a couple of answers are coming up for me. I would say travel has been one of my greatest teachers and gaining perspective. Every year, I go on a really long hike overseas. Whether I want to or not, it is a very humbling experience. So like usually seven to 11 day hikes through Nepal or through Bhutan or Japan. And I actually made the comments myself when my partner and I split up four years ago, that every year, I would take myself in a self discovery journey to get out of my head and into my body, and push my limits physically and be to a new part of the world that I've never been to before. So like, you know, Everest base camp, or Annapurna circuit and those moments, you know, you're hiking eight or nine or 10 hours a day, it's below freezing every single night, and you're so connected to nature and so connected to you know, everything in my body. It's it was it's so uncomfortable, and it's so beautiful. It's the most polarizing, humbling, incredibly teaching experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. But sometimes when I'm in it, I remember waking up at five in the morning in the Himalaya is freezing below freezing, like my hot water ball had frozen overnight in my lap. And thinking, why can't I be normal and just love to learn like everybody else? Why Mexico, like a normal person relate to you I like the physical challenges always teach me so much. But it's so miserable in the moment. So I would say I would say that has been a great teacher. And you know, just like my own meditation practice, seeing my own blocks, seeing my limiting beliefs, seeing my, whenever I have very strong visions, and my meditation, I always have I had to see inkblot tests, and I was a little kid, because I had such I would sleep, walk and have really, really vivid dreams to the point where I go to the doctor. My patients are very visual. And I think that actually I will shift that answer to being my intuition has been a great teacher, because I don't think we often trust our intuition. And I would say, through my meditation practice, I have become so much more in tune with whatever language want to use intuition, higher self, universe, whatever, whatever words planned, that for me, that connection has been so profound in learning to trust myself and my intuition. So I find that a very feminine experience that I'm really grateful for.

Jaclyn Steele:

And so profound. People talk about intuition, but I don't I think we could do a whole podcast episode on what it feels like to actually follow intuition. So if you ever want to come back, you have an Oh,

Unknown:

I mean, I feel happy. Yeah. And

Jaclyn Steele:

when your book comes out, too, I'd love to have you back on the podcast

Unknown:

and you can bring it in,

Jaclyn Steele:

we can talk about it. Okay, cool, favorite book, besides your own.

Unknown:

You know what, my favorite book, I have quite a few that I just love so deeply. One is love and other difficulties by real key. It's this really short book of poems, and letters that this poet wrote in like the early 1900s about love, and how we give ourselves to others and how we show up for ourselves. That's, that's a really beautiful, romantic, easy read, but I would say my favorite book of all time is called the War of Art by Steven pressfield. It's a very short read, it's very quick talks about how resistance manifests so many ways in our life, just like we were talking about me asking questions, you want to read more books, like all these things that we can justify, you know, we have a deadline that we decide to wash the dishes or clean the baseboards or all these things that like yeah, I should get to that. Therefore you do it right now is just different ways that resistance comes up in our life. And it gives us these beautiful tools and practices to overcome resistance and overcome those blocks. And I am so obsessed with with our human potential and our purpose and how do we click into that alignment with our highest self and you know this this his book is not a spiritual book, but it is. It does have beautiful references to spirituality. It's and you can read it like an hour and a half. I find it profound. I like eight copies. I give it to my friends. I love that book so deeply.

Jaclyn Steele:

I I've read it and I feel like I'm at a spot where I should probably read it again. Have you read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Unknown:

Yes.

Jaclyn Steele:

I love that one for resistance.

Unknown:

It is I would say her book is like the feminine form of the War of Art. Yeah. It is so beautiful. Yes, I definitely recommend it. Big Magic and work our work is like a quick read Big Magic is more of like, dropping into your body and understanding the Muse and understanding that we are not the ideas that, you know, we have to I love the concept that we have to show up and show the universe that we can be trusted to be that medium for it to flow through. Because, you know, much like I was sharing my story earlier. Yes, this beautiful moment happened to be on this plane. And I've had feedback of I wish someone would fall into my lap like it fell into yours. And I know that that comment comes from place of love. And yes, that day, the universe was having a great day and you know, laughing and you know, colliding lives. It was so cool. And a whole bunch of hustle came after that. So I'm a big fan of the hustle and the

Jaclyn Steele:

trust, you know, going on the trip, you were on the plane, you showed up before happened. I love the Bible story about the Israelites leaving Egypt, when they come up to the sea. And the sea doesn't part until they walk in it. You have to take the step over. Oh, I mean, it hits me every single time. And I've read that story. I mean, throughout my entire life. But it's so applicable to the way we live today. I mean, it absolutely is we have to step out on faith. If we want something to happen. We're not going to have everything handed to us. And actually super quick story. I remember when I was young, probably 11 or 12, reading in a magazine about how Pamela Anderson was discovered. And she was at a baseball game or a football game or something. And somebody spotted her in the stands and they were like you should model you know, fast forward a few years. She's on Baywatch, etc. And in my young, impressionable mind that the message was women wait to be discovered. And it was so disempowering. Versus No. We sharpen iron, we gather our weapons, whatever they may be, and we show up, we show up. So I think that's so powerful, what you just said.

Unknown:

I love that love that share.

Jaclyn Steele:

best piece of advice you've been given. I know I call these rapid fire questions, but really, they're

Unknown:

so long. I have mining all the wisdom from these incredible guests I get to have on this podcast. You know, I, here's my thing about advice. I don't like it. And I am a much bigger fan of sharing an experience. So when I'm coaching, I never give advice. I also do not like receiving advice. And the reason is, is because when somebody is giving you advice, I know it comes from a place of love the majority of the time, it comes from a place of love. But we know our situation and our lives, and we have so much power. And we have so much deep knowing that oftentimes I experienced the advice giving scenario as us giving our power away to somebody else to tell us what to do. When really we know we have a deep knowing. We know we know, we know, we have so many tools to bring that forward, you know, journaling, meditation, read going for a walk, whatever, just sitting there, sitting with that question over and over again. You know, I my friend always says to be, if I'm asking question on the answer to she'll ask, I don't know, she'll say, Well, if you didn't know, what would the answer be? I think that's such a profound. I laughed when she said first. And she asked it again. And I said, Oh, yeah, I do know the answer. And right away, I said it. And so when I'm coaching or when I am being I have quite a few coaches as well, I still believe in that experience of people lovingly tease, tease your visions out of you and reflect it back to cuts all coaches, you know, in my experience that the great coaches I've worked with, that's all they do is they reflect back to you what you're capable of, and what you've already said that my experiences, I don't ask for the advice. I say, here's my block, and we walk through it, we talk through it. And when I'm coaching others, I if they are sharing a block, I'll say, you know what, I had a similar block, let me share with you, the emotions I went through and the decision I came to, and you can take from that whatever you want. Because if I'm going to say to you, you need to do this, and then it goes terribly wrong. That's my fault. And it's and then it's, well, I would never have done unless you told me to go Okay, great. Then well, what would you do? What would you do? So let's just figure out what would you do because you already know what you would do. So let's not give our power away. Let's just pull out really kindly and lovingly what you would already you already know you would do. But for some reason you're blocked and there's either a lot Have confidence that you're unsure, you're vulnerable or you're not, you know, whatever it is, whatever it is that blocks us from our true knowing. So I think the advice thing is funny for me, but I do still call friends for advice now and then but very. Okay, here's my issue, I first would like to hear what your feedback is. And then next, you know, my friends also asked me, would you like me to give you advice? Or would you like an experienced chair? Or to just listen right now they all know by like, many things around advice. So they all will ask, what would you like to receive? Now that you shared your story? So I think maybe that's not the exact answer you're looking for on that. But that's kind of lame.

Jaclyn Steele:

But I think that's such a good thing to bring up. We have so much wisdom. Sometimes it's just buried under layers of conditioning or advice from other people. That

Unknown:

was not good advice. So I think that i think that's beautiful.

Jaclyn Steele:

What do you want our dear listeners to take away from this episode?

Unknown:

Beautiful question. So probably playing off of what we just talked about, that we already know, we already know so much more than we think we do, or give ourselves credit for that we are already all of those things that we are seeking that we are already enough in all of those ways. And, you know, when we're doing those meditations, to bring in love or to bring an intuition or brain strength, they're things that already exist within us. We're just, you know, shining a light on that part of our spirit, our soul and bringing it forward because we already have it. meditating on it doesn't make you have it, you have it, you're just pulling it out, pulling up with so much love. We have to allow it to come forward. But it's there. Oh, it's so there. Ashley,

Jaclyn Steele:

this touched my core.

Unknown:

so much. Thank you. That was beautiful. Yes. Such such special questions and really gets to the to the heart of it. So thank you.

Jaclyn Steele:

Oh, my pleasure. before we sign off the where Can everybody find you online?

Unknown:

You can find that Moloch collective or Instagram at mala collective and if anybody wants to message me Feel free to always I love I love getting messages from people. My my handle is Ashley underscore underscore W. A y. I'll send you the link if you Yeah, and I'll link Yeah, yeah, we love getting messages. We're a small team. And we love hearing from people, you know, sharing where they're at in the journey and saying, you know what crystal would help me with this or what do I need to start a practice or how do I do this? It's, it's so beautiful. I love being a part of people's journey and people's lives in that way. It's, I feel very honored.

Jaclyn Steele:

You're like creating these lighthouse moments. shining the light.

Unknown:

Thank you. Again,

Jaclyn Steele:

thank you so so much for being here.

Unknown:

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.