Self Discovery with Jaclyn Steele

Personal Growth is Uncomfortable

June 30, 2021 Jaclyn Steele Season 2 Episode 75
Self Discovery with Jaclyn Steele
Personal Growth is Uncomfortable
Show Notes Transcript

We say we want to grow… but do we really? Deep down, I believe we do, but something happens as we start to expand: we experience discomfort. Sometimes very deep discomfort. In today’s episode, I’m normalizing the discomfort that accompanies personal growth and expansion. If we can view this part as temporary, and as a teacher here to impart an essential lesson, then our personal growth can throttle forward exponentially. The key is to lean in instead of give up.

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Jaclyn Steele:

Hi, I am Jaclyn Steele and welcome to self discovery. Howard Thurman so beautifully wrote, don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive? and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive, coming alive. That my friends, is what self discovery is all? Where that man? All right, friends, welcome, welcome. Welcome to this week's episode of self discovery. If you're listening to this, on the day that it comes out, it is Wednesday. So Happy Wednesday to you. I'm recording this a couple days ahead of time. And I have kind of a special episode ahead of us. It's something that I haven't done before, this is an episode straight from my journal. And I actually wrote this particular content in January of this year, January 25, to be exact, so I'm excited to share with you what I wrote. It's about what personal growth feels like. And I feel like this is so timely, not only are some of my close personal friends experiencing massive personal growth right now and the discomfort that accompanies it. But I have clients that are on the same trajectory. I have acquaintances, I feel like this nation as a whole, and our world, as a whole is on the cusp of so much growth and expansion, if we choose it. So I think this episode is going to be really important. But before I dive in a couple of things, I have not done a self discovery spotlight and so long. And for those of you who are new to the podcast, this is when I read a review from one of the listeners of this podcast and you guys, I cannot tell you, the smiles and the joy that your reviews and your words bring to me. If you haven't left a review yet for the podcast, please do it makes such a difference in the searchability of the podcast. But also your feedback just means the world to me, I spend so much time creating these episodes. And so to hear what you're thinking and how they are uplifting you just is fuel for me to keep going. This particular self discovery spotlight is from and I may pronounce this wrong, I'm sorry fic delete 000 and this person said Jacqueline does such an amazing job of providing a space for healing and self discovery. Through this podcast. She shares her life and journey authentically and transparently. And while doing so it effortlessly empowers listeners to embrace their own unique life and journey as well. This podcast ultra also features guests, from all walks of life sharing a wide variety of wisdom and expertise. There is something here for everyone. Jacqueline's warm and encouraging voice and words feel like a big loving embrace.

Unknown:

Oh,

Jaclyn Steele:

I cannot tell you just how much joy it brings me to hear this. This is why I created this podcast. So thank you so much victory. And again, if you haven't left a review, please do. So it means the world to me. Also, I've mentioned this just briefly in passing before, I am starting a text messaging service, essentially, where several times a week I'm going to call it the sacred rebel or sacred rebel text messaging several times a week, I'm going to text you a super encouraging uplifting something. And because of my faith, because of my experience working with the universe, because of my time in the Akashic records, and just my life experience, I know that these messages are just going to roll through at the perfect time to the people that need to hear them most. So if you want to be part of this text messaging service, it's not really well it's me as a service, but you it's not. Well, it's Yeah, it is, is it service for all of us. So I'm going to call it again, the sacred rebel. And I would love for you to opt in, you can opt in simply by texting the number 480-531-6858. I'm gonna repeat that again. 405316858 and just type the word sacred, and you'll automatically be added to this group. For now, it's a free opt in but eventually I'm going to charge like 510 dollars a month for it. So I know myself and I know how much time and effort and energy I'm going to put into it and love so if you want to be part of that, let me know. type the word sacred. Alright, That is the business before we get into the meat and potatoes of this episode. And again, this episode is a little different because I'm not, it's not scripted the way I normally do an episode, which is like bullet points and thoughts and things that I want to get out, this is straight from my journal. So if you hear pages turning, it's literally me turning the pages in my journal. And when I wrote this back in January, Sam and I were going through a very interesting time financially, where we had had abundance than it went away. We were on the cusp of calling in all kinds of different things. We were still living in an RV, I had not started this new business of teaching spiritual work. So we were just on the cusp of so many enormous, enormous life changes, and we had no idea what any of those life changes were going to look like. So this particular episode, it is about personal expansion, personal growth, but it was also an act of surrender in writing it because I was admitting, damn excuse my language. Growth is hard. Personal Growth is hard. expansion is hard. And it's scary. So that's kind of the setting up the scene for this episode. And here we go. expansion. That is what I'm doing. It feels scary and vulnerable and sweaty. And I see why some people turn around at this point, growth requires change. And change requires discomfort, and no one is talking about the mental and emotional discomfort that accompany personal growth, or if they are, I'm just not hearing about it. These places of discomfort need to be normalized and celebrated. It's the battle before the win. And we can't give up now. All right, we have come to the part of the episode that I have dubbed, these are a few of my favorite things. And today I'm going to introduce you to organic basics. Here is how they describe themselves on their website. And I think this is significant because it displays their commitment to excellence and also their awesome Danish personality as a company. I have Danish heritage. So I definitely wanted to highlight this part. There is one swear word to follow so shield your children's ears. the fashion industry is a dirty bastard. So we put sustainable thinking at the center of everything. That means we only choose fabrics that care for our environment. And we only ever partner with factories that care about their impact to when we say sustainability is our core mission. We don't mean that sustainability is nice to have, we mean that it's the only way we act. That mission is why I love organic basics so much well, that and the quality of their items. There's such a giant difference between a fast fashion basic and the quality of what organic basics brings to the table. Their apparel and undergarments are built to last and you will be able to see that before even opening the beautifully branded box they come in. I have their tank and pennies and dusty rose from their 10 slit collection. Let me just say it was a love connection before I even put them on. The tensile collection is a silky feeling material made sustainably of wood pulp, so freaking soft. And you guys know I'm picky about my color choices and their color selection is just Oh, it's so dang beautiful. Visit organic basics calm and use the discount code in the show notes below. Or you can visit Jaclyn Steele comm slash organic basics to pique my favorite ob finds and get 10% off. All links and codes are in the show notes below. And now back to the episode. What does the fear of expansion or personal growth feel like? Here's what it feels like for me. Fear, self doubt, self sabotage, scarcity, smallness, vulnerability, a deer in headlights waking up at 3am and a panic. Loss of the old self. Feeling like the ground is shifting beneath me. Like a ship without an anchor, like a road trip without a map. Like intense excitement and crippling fear at the same time. Like your clothes don't quite fit anymore. Like your friends maybe don't quite fit anymore. Like questioning things you never question before. Like in conversation noticing yourself having a thought you wouldn't have had before. Like that comment would have triggered me in the past. But I realized now, it's not worth the effort of my reaction or Wow,

Unknown:

I used to wholeheartedly

Jaclyn Steele:

agree with that. And now I don't relate to it at all. It feels like learning a new vocabulary, a new way of speaking. It feels like upgrading your mental tapes to a higher frequency. It feels like thoughts pouring in when you're in the shower and you rush to write them down before you even tell off. It feels like anxiety at times, it can take the form of a panic attack. As you were shaking the old self off expansion, growth, it requires molting and this process is not always pleasant. On the flip side, refusing to expand often looks and feels like settling sadness, you're in the car but someone else is driving and you're going to their destination. Drowning yourself in mindless TV see can silence the soft calling of your heart, depression, physical ailments that are manifesting from mental Nxd grasping for control, eating too much drinking too much working out too much. obsessing over little things that don't matter. Looking around your home and suddenly having the urge to crawl out of your skin. Waking up. And the first thought is, I can't wait to go back to bed. Shopping too much spending too much blaming your partner blaming your boss, blaming your friend blaming the world, the feeling that you are wasting your one wild and precious life having thoughts that lead negatively, far more than they lean positively. Wanting to feel better, but having no idea where to start. So you stay stuck because that's easier than making the decision to do something. Lack of hope, lack of joy, lack of feeling anything at all, pouring your energy and time into projects and people that leave you feeling hollow. But the distraction gives you a short lived sense of purpose, searching everywhere except inside. I know this, because I have been on both sides of growth. In my experience, the growing part despite the discomfort is far easier than the mental agony of being stagnant. So the question becomes, how do we invite in growth? How do we accelerate and be a catalyst for expansion? We get Still, we get quiet. And we listen for the next right step. The map the path is unfurled one step at a time. This life of growth requires faith. we shake up our routine. We read the book we've been meaning to read. Instead of numbing out in front of the TV. We ask that person we are intimidated by to talk about how they got where they are. We journal how we are actually feeling versus how we think we are supposed to feel. We get really excuse my language guys plug your ears if they're a little ones around. We get really fucking honest with ourselves, even if that's admitting we are unhappy. And then committing to changing one step at a time, we go to a place in nature that makes us feel in awe and realize how small we are and how amazing life is and how precious and finite time is. We can control only what we can control our thoughts, our words, our actions, and we start to become aware of the perspectives we hold. This creates a baseline baselines tell you where you are so you can get really clear on where you want to go. We buy a class about that thing we're interested in. We listened to that podcast episode with a title that really turned us off. We listened to a podcast episode with a title that really turned us on. We shower, we wash our faces we put on clothes that make us feel good, so that we can meet the effing day and take it on. We take care of our physical body, we move we eat well, we meditate we prime our engines for movement. We stop hanging out with people that belittle our thoughts and dreams. Maybe we move to a different place to a different city to a different country. Maybe we stay, we pray for guidance. We wake up and say thank you. I am alive. How can I be of service today? We stopped doing the same things Over and over, and expecting change. growth, my friends is a trust fall. But never in my 34 years on this planet, have my trust falls resulted in a permanent home on the cold hard ground. And more often than not, though the process has often been difficult. My trust falls have resulted in such inner joy that I am left wondering if I might die from happiness and satisfaction. If you are still listening to this, then it's time you are ready for growth. trust the process and refuse to give up and turn around at the 11th hour when so many other people do because it's uncomfortable. What awaits you on the other side is a person who deep down. You've known you could always be growth my friends. Growth is the way home