A disciplined mind leads to happiness and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering the Dalai Lama. Hi, I am Jaclyn Steele. And welcome to self discovery. Howard Thurman so beautifully wrote, don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive, coming alive. That my friends, is what self discovery is all about well. Hello, and welcome to the self discovery podcast. I am Jaclyn Steele, your host and I am so happy that you're here with me. I am sitting with a puppy on my lap Pippin who's 10 years old, who seems to be a permanent fixture here. I have a cup of tea, I have a candle going, I have some Palo Santo, some water, some tea, I am good to go. This is like my perfect scenario for podcast recording. Before I dive into today's episode, which is the bliss of self discipline, and why you may be doing it wrong, I want to just address a couple of business matters. The first is join my texts community sacred rebel affirmation community at 480-531-6858. opt in and then type in sacred you will automatically be added it's free. It's a beautiful community of empowerment and encouragement. And just a couple of weekly messages that I know we'll find you at the perfect moment. Right when you need it. You can join again by texting 405316858 or by looking in the show notes and just clicking on the link. Next thing that I want to talk about is leaving review. If you are a regular listener of this podcast, I want to just off very gently and kindly ask you to leave a review, it will take you a couple of minutes at most. And it makes such a huge difference for this podcast and the visibility of it. Then, email newsletter, I have an email newsletter again, and it's called the scoop. But this is not your average email newsletter. This is not just promo of what I am doing. Although it includes a little bit of that. It really is about empowering you with inspiration with goods and services by companies that care about their employees and care about their customers care about fair wages care about the cleanliness of their products. It is about meditations and books and videos, things that will increase your vibrational frequency when you engage with them. So yes, I talked about my podcast in there and my blog. However, it is mostly stuff that I find and use regularly. That increases my vibrational frequency that makes me happier, more encouraging, more fully able to show up as myself in the world. So sign up for my email newsletter, the scoop. I'm thinking it's going to come out weekly, maybe bi monthly, but I will not be spamming you ever. That is just not my style. Okay, those are the pieces of business that I needed to address before I dive into the meat and potatoes of this episode. Or if you are a vegan, the tofu and potatoes of this episode, which is the bliss of self discipline and why you may be doing it wrong. When I talk about bliss, and I talk about self discipline, I know how this may sound. But I wanted to bring this up because I feel like it's really important to talk about. So many of you listening to this podcast are interested in personal development. And that's probably why you found this podcast in the first place. And self discipline my friends, as unsexy as it sounds right now, is hopefully something you are going to fall in love with. By the end of this episode. First thing I want to address. When I speak around self discipline, or when I speak about self discipline is the language we use around it. Some of the language we use around self discipline is so damaging. And I want to give you an easy example to start with. Let's say you want to lose weight, and I used to do this to myself all the time. I would say, I need to lose weight. And I would start pointing out all the areas on my body in which I felt like I needed to improve. I would beat myself up, I would speak horribly to myself. And I would repeat really damaging sayings that aren't true. Like a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips, or one that I made up that went like this, I would rather be thin than eat this right now, I wanted to make a change, I wanted to lose weight. But the action in the language around this desire for change was rooted in what I had to give up. Don't eat the chocolate, don't even have one friend try because then you will want them all. No carbs for three days, Jacqueline, let's try this extreme cleanse and not eat any solid food for five days, and you will definitely lose weight, my dear. If you are a woman listening to this, chances are you can relate this approach toward disciplining myself around food was rooted in what I had to give up, shame around my body, and might not enoughness thinness in this case. And awful self talk that kept me in a perpetual state of low self worth. And friends, if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time. You know, I'm all about high self worth, because that dictates how we show up in the world and the kind of opportunities we create for ourselves. Anyway, the brand of self discipline I want to introduce today is all about adding to your life. And this includes being super mindful about the language that you use to yourself and others when it comes to self discipline. So in regard to adding to your life and self discipline, when we are adding to our lives, we have the opportunity to replace old outdated patterns with higher vibe, healthier ones, and also healthier self talk. So a few examples, instead of saying, I have to eat healthy today, we can say, I'm going to add in a beautiful serving of vegetables that I enjoy. Instead of saying, I have to go to the gym today and work off these extra pounds. We say I'm choosing to take time for myself today, and engage in some movement I really enjoy for both my mental and physical health. I love the way I feel when I'm done moving. Instead of saying, I have to start drinking, I'm so out of control. We could say I'm going to see how I feel when I don't drink alcohol for a day and then go from there. Instead of saying, I'm going nowhere fast, and I really need to excuse my language, get my shit together. We could say, I'm going to write out a goal. I've been thinking about an outline some steps I can take toward achieving it today. Do you see the difference that language makes? Do you see the difference that can happen when we speak to ourselves with grace and love? Instead of shame and guilt, and harshness? So many of us say we want change. We want to build a business. We want to lose weight and get healthy, we want to find love. We want to travel the world we want to be successful in business, we want to be millionaires or even billionaires. However, we also are not taking the action necessary to accomplish these things. And I think this is rooted in how we approach self discipline. And y'all friends, I am guilty of this myself at times. But this is why self discipline is so important. consistent action is everything. Tony Robbins said You overestimate what you can do in a year and underestimate what you can do in a decade. All right, so I'm starting a new segment of the self discovery podcast called these are a few of my favorite things. And these are me highlighting brands that I absolutely love that are sustainable and ethical. And yes, I am an affiliate for them. So when you purchase I get a little kickback but that is what allows me to keep making this podcast and pay my bills. So that being said, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite brands of all time ever lane. They stand for exceptional quality ethical factories and radically transparent pricing. Essentially because they are direct to consumer they cut out the middleman so you can get cashmere and silk and high quality cotton apparel at a price that will not break the bank. And this is what they have to say about their process. At Everlane. We want the right choice to be as easy as putting on a great t shirt. That's why we partner with the best ethical factories around the World sores, only the finest materials and share those stories with you down to the true cost of every product we make. It's a new way of doing things and we call it radical transparency. I remember when I purchased my first Everlane sweater, taking it out of the packaging, I immediately thought, Oh, this is what a sweater is supposed to feel like. The quality is truly exceptional. And I know I will have the items I have purchased from them for years to come. When I need a seasonal refresh in my wardrobe everlean is consistently one of the first places that I visit, I shopped there for my husband as well because he loves their T shirts and button downs. Anyway, you get the picture. I absolutely love this brand. That's why they are one of my favorite things. And I have some of my favorite pics of the season at the ready for you to view on Jaclyn Steele calm slash Everlane. Again, that's Jaclyn steele.com/everlaneandyoucanalsogettenpercentoffyourfirstorderbygoingtheresoallthelinksareintheshownotesnowbacktotheepisodebecause. I'm on a little bit of a quote train right now I want to share a few more quotes with you that I found from strive co about self discipline that I feel like are so inspirational. Jim Rohn said, discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. So y'all, we say we want to do something. But if we don't have that sexy self discipline, it's not going to happen. Lao Tzu said, if you wish to be out front, then act as if you were behind. Meaning, if you want to be top of your field, if you want to be top of anything, or really successful at whatever you do, act as if you are behind, it's going to require work. It's going to require micro action that leads to macro action that gets you to the front of the line, so to speak. Dwayne The Rock Johnson said, we do today what they won't. So tomorrow, we can accomplish what they can't. Lou Holtz said, winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the trade off they're making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that's the difference. Jim Rohn said, we all must suffer one of two things, the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret and disappointment. But I've already outlined, we don't even have to view self discipline as pain, we can view it as something that we are adding to our lives because it allows us to when Nikola Tesla said, I could only achieve success in my life, through self discipline. And I applied it until my wish and my will became one. How cool is that? He applied it until his wish and his will became one. self discipline isn't centered around sacrifice, in my opinion. It's centered around what you will gain when you are consistent when you take micro actions. So imagine if you worked out five times a week for a month? How would you feel at the end of the month? Imagine if you read for 15 minutes a day, that book you know is going to empower you to master your goals. How fast could you get through that book? Imagine if you swapped your fast food breakfast with avocado toast every morning. How would you feel the rest of the day? Imagine if you woke up 30 minutes earlier every day. So you could meditate and journal and get your mind right before hitting the ground running. Imagine if you spent one hour a day working toward your dream. How much progress Do you think you could make in a week after five or seven hours a month, a year. self discipline is the bridge between where we are and where we want to be. In addition, self discipline creates momentum. Momentum increases your frequency and an increased personal frequency increases your opportunities I am telling you will become a magnet, which you know so many people talk about manifestation and what you need to do in order to manifest I'm telling you, if you want to manifest anything, increase your vibration, increase the frequency in which you show up in the world. I have a perfect example of this. At the end of last year. I wanted to create some more affiliate partnerships for my podcast and for the blog. I started reaching out to companies with products that I loved and was already using Asking to partner up. What happened was amazing. Not all of them responded, of course. But many did. And were enthusiastic about creating an affiliate relationship because I was so enthusiastic about their products. Then, as I kept creating this momentum and reaching out to more companies that I loved, it wasn't long before several companies reached out to me, asking if I wanted to partner up, went full circle friends, so often, we feel like we have to climb Mount Everest, in order to get where we want to go. But in actuality, in my experience, all we have to do is take the first step, write the email, make the call, get on the bike, get in the car, take the meeting, etc. Once a little momentum is created through self discipline, you will be amazed at the cool things that magically fly your way. In my opinion, this is just how the universe works. When you show the universe, the direction in which you want to go, the universe is like, Oh, we're gonna put some wind behind that. I understand the hang ups around self discipline, and the negative connotations that so many people have. And I can totally relate because I grew up with the same ones. I struggle most. And this is just total transparency in the area of consistency. However, consistency is also such a key factor in self discipline. Again, focus on how will you will feel after you do that discipline, and what you will gain from it versus what you have to give up or sacrifice. I think of this podcast you guys know I love examples. We are approaching on self discovery with Jaclyn Steele episode 100. Is this podcast where I want it to be yet? No. But has it grown exponentially over the last almost two years? Yes, a resounding yes. And it's led to so many amazing opportunities, and friendships and conversations with people I never would have had otherwise. I have had a few slip ups. But for the most part, I release an episode every single week. The average podcast has about 27 listeners per episode. And that's exactly what I had in the beginning. But now this podcast that you are listening to right now gets around 240 listens per week. I don't say that to brag. I say that to exemplify what a little self discipline and consistency will do over time. Especially if you focus on what you are gaining from the experience instead of what you are sacrificing. Total side note total rabbit hole, I think about some of the activities that I engage in. That replaced self discipline. So let's say instead of working out for 30 minutes, I choose to sit and watch TV for 30 minutes. And I think of how I feel at the end of that and how I'm like I don't feel happy that I just sat here for 30 minutes and watch this TV show that I'm not going to remember anything about a week from now. versus getting up and just doing the thing and how I feel after taking care of myself after meditating after exercising after making the call after writing the podcast episode after recording it etc. There's just a such a giant difference in my vibrational frequency. It's so much higher when I am self disciplined. Okay, so I'm going to wrap this up by summing up what I've said in this episode on the beautiful bliss of self discipline. And hopefully again, instead of self discipline being this like awful, heavy unsexy thing you're now like, Hey, this is really cool. And this is what's gonna lead me to accomplishing my goals into the life that I really want to live. So number one, be mindful of your language around self discipline. speak nicely to yourself and focus on what you are gaining by adding in some discipline versus what you're sacrificing. Number two, think about how you will feel after you keep your own promise to yourself. Or as Steven Covey says, begin with the end in mind. How will you feel when you eat better? Go to bed earlier. Get in a little bit of movement, or carve out time for your goals. Number three, visualize what will happen if you stay consistent. Who will you be a week from now? You can be a markedly different person a week from now. A month From now a year from now, the possibilities are endless for you. self discipline is not about sacrifice. It's about honoring the sacredness of your life. It's about using your talents and honing them into skills. It's about being who you have always known you could be. It's about laying your head on the pillow at night, feeling accomplish and satisfied with who you were that day. self discipline isn't about ballbusting my friends, it's about bliss. Because it's the bridge to the life we know we are capable of living.