What would you like to see from yourself in 2025?

Are you ready to call in the best version of yourself?  Sam and I get really candid about some things we are struggling with and the areas we really want to get a handle on in 2025 to have the best year yet!

Transcript

Jaclyn 0:05

Hello everyone! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Sam and Sedona, Arizona ready to celebrate the Holidays. I wanted to say that we are going to take a two-week after today's episode. So we will be back with new content on January 14th, Thankyou so much for listening and I hope that you have a restorative wonderful Holiday season surrounded by love and joy.

Sam 0:05

All right, everybody. Welcome to episode 40 of The Freq Show. We're rounding out 2024. I'm here with my beautiful wife, Jaclyn, and today it's kind of a this is a special episode because

Jaclyn 0:19

We've never done this before.

Sam 0:20

Yeah, it's a surprise. I'm kind of springing the topic on you here right now.

Jaclyn 0:26

Yeah, we've never done this where I am totally in the dark.

Sam 0:31

Yeah, but that's intentional, because I really want your original response.

Jaclyn 0:38

Okay, I love this. This is fun.

Sam 0:40

You know what comes to the top of your head. But, basically, what I wanted to talk about today is we're coming to the end of the year and you know this is the time of the year when you start setting your goals for the next year and planning out the next year. But I wanted to take an opportunity to have a feedback session and what I want to have a conversation with you about is what would you like to see from me in 2025? And I'm going to. I'm going to tell you that I have things for you as well. But I really want to know because you know, I feel like we have gotten really good at being able to tell each other the truth.

Jaclyn 1:37

Yeah.

Sam 1:40

And add value in that because it is so valuable to have the other person your partner the person that's closest to you, that sees you the most, both physically and also, you know, as a person um, really call out and identify areas of opportunity, or I think this is, if you, if I could see you do more of this, that would make me happy.

Jaclyn 2:04

I love this. I think it's. I think that's really valuable. All right, Well, I'm ready,

Sam 2:09

Of course, Of course! you are Just off the top 10. Top 10? Narrow it down to the top 10,. Top 20?.

Jaclyn 2:19

Two things came to mind.

Sam 2:21

Okay, so do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? I had a list so you could have some time to think about it, but obviously you don't need to.

Jaclyn 2:28

Well, I think in these scenarios, you know, I'm pretty connected to my heart and I just allow what bubbles up to bubble up, and we talk about most things when they come up, and so I don't have any like little nitpicky things for you,

Sam 2:43

Anything you've been holding back on.

Jaclyn 2:44

No, I don't. There are a couple of areas that I think, if I take a step back, both of us would benefit from, but I think, well, why don't I just share them?

Sam 2:59

Go ahead.

Jaclyn 2:59

Okay, I think that one is personal, one is business. Let's go with personal first.

Sam 3:07

Okay.

Jaclyn 3:07

I want more intentional date nights with you, okay, and more like sexy time, intimacy time yeah. I think over the last few years we have been so busy. Our focus has been on our son, our focus has been on our business. We have gone on dates. It's not like we have completely put our relationship on the back burner. I don't feel like that. I truly don't, but I think that when we get together, even if it's just a lunch date, I have so much fun with you. Like when we were in Italy and we took our moms and we had Roman. That night we went to Paolo just the two of us. We have so much fun together and I feel so connected to you when we do that. I would love for you to like plan some dates for us.

Sam 3:59

Yeah.

Jaclyn 4:00

Or we designate, even if we don't do it, weekly, bi-monthly.

Sam 4:05

Yeah.

Jaclyn 4:05

Where we have a date night or an afternoon date and we just connect and we laugh and we talk about our business, but we also just talk about whatever we want to talk about. I feel like when we sit down in general conversation flows pretty easily and I love and cherish that time with you

Sam 4:29

Yeah, well, that's easy. I I say it's easy, um, and again, I think that we've we are kind of have been sporadic about it, about being intentional a lot of times. It's easier to do those during the day and I think those are just as fun too

Jaclyn 4:44

Yeah, I do too More energy.

Sam 4:47

Yeah, that's. That's an easy one. I would love to do that.

Jaclyn 4:50

Okay, good, yeah, well, I think in so many ways we've been in survival mode, becoming parents, you know, launching our business, doing these giant projects that require so much time and energy and money, and so I get it. But I would love to like really prioritize that connection with you.

Sam 5:11

Absolutely!

Jaclyn 5:12

Okay.

Sam 5:12

No problem!

Jaclyn 5:13

Then my tip business wise, and again, I haven't had really any time to think about this stuff. I want to start with I think you are such a great organizer of goals. I think you're really good at having KPIs key performance indicators. I think you're really good at assessing the numbers. I think you are really good at defining goals and defining what success looks like. I think your room for improvement is to be a little bit more aggressive. You know, I think about you when you were like a football star quarterback, and there's no way you weren't aggressive AF. I want to see you be more aggressive with protecting our end of deals if that makes sense. I think your tendency is to give people a lot of leeway, give people a lot of grace, which I think shows your heart. But I think in business, we need to tighten the ship and I think you being a little more aggressive me being I feel like I am fairly aggressive in business. Maybe I'm not, you can tell me in your notes, but if we are both very shrewd and keen, I think that will take our business to the next level, and it's not that I want us to. I don't want to be one of those business people that is ruthless or mean in any way, but I think we have been too nice and I really, really want to protect our interests. We've got a family, we've got all of these things that we want to do in our lives, and I think that requires us to protect ourselves. You know we were just talking about in the last episode, protecting our energy. I think we have to protect our business and protect our goals.

Sam 7:35

Yeah, yeah, our interests.

Jaclyn 7:38

And not allow people to yank us around.

Sam 7:40

Yeah, yeah, I definitely think that's there's. There's room for improvement and I am aware of that and I am. What do I want to say? I know that I think part of that is growth in the process and the bigger steps. You I, you can tend to be a little timid because you feel like you're out of your depth a little bit.

Jaclyn 8:11

Yeah, you're in uncharted territory,

Sam 8:13

But at the end of the day, that doesn't um change when you're being taken advantage of and when you're not. So I think that's fair, so I take that, and it's also one of the things that I've been focused on lately. I think when you initially said that, I was thinking you meant take more risks.

Jaclyn 8:37

No, I think we take calculated risk already.

Sam 8:40

Yeah.

Jaclyn 8:41

I think you just have a tendency to be very nice, and I think you have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than protecting our side of the deal.

Sam 8:57

Yeah yeah, yeah. That's fair.

Jaclyn 9:00

Yeah, I think those are my. I like it when you're a little bossy too

Sam 9:06

Yeah, and I can be, and honestly. I like it when I I am too. I don't know what the code is here, but, um, I uh, yeah, I tend to. If, if you know, the scenario is something wasn't absolutely crystal clear, I will take on that burden of whatever happened. You know what I mean, and

Jaclyn 9:29

We both have a tendency to do that,

Sam 9:31

But that's not um, that doesn't. That doesn't benefit us.

Jaclyn 9:36

No it doesn't,

Sam 9:36

And it should be just as you know that that burden should be put on um whoever we're paying to do something first and foremost. So yeah, I hear that I can take that for sure.

Jaclyn 9:50

Yeah.

Sam 9:51

Okay, you want me to go into mine?

Jaclyn 9:53

Yeah, for you, hit me. Not literally, but

Sam 9:58

Mine are a little more broader in scope, I think, and I can think of some that are a little more detailed. Well, I you know, I I had time to to think about them and you came off the top

Jaclyn 10:15

All right, all right!

Sam 10:16

This kind of relates to our conversation or the previous episode that we had when it came to relationships and

Jaclyn 10:24

Spending time with family yeah,

Sam 10:27

But, um, this isn't really worded. I would say, uh, exactly right, but I think your what I wrote down was letting go of fixing other people,

Jaclyn 10:42

No! and that's my lifelong challenge.

Sam 10:48

Yeah, I think that that is who you are, and so much of that is admirable.

Jaclyn 10:58

I want to help people because I see suffering and I see that it's just so unnecessary. but it's not my responsibility,

Sam 11:04

But just like the feedback you gave me is self-sacrificing. So often this becomes self-sacrificing for you to where you, your focus becomes.

Jaclyn 11:17

It's all encompassing. I've become obsessive,

Sam 11:20

Yeah, Yeah. Um, so I think that's just one of those areas that, if you can,

Jaclyn 11:28

There's definitely some room for improvement.

Sam 11:31

You know, let go and let it be.

Jaclyn 11:34

How wild it was to let it be like Cheryl Strayed said

Sam 11:39

Yeah, because I don't know that the return is there.

Jaclyn 11:45

So far the return has been very little, Very, very little.

Sam 11:50

I think there's a tendency to think that you're going to fix somebody and that they're going to see it and they're going to recognize what's going on and they're going to change their actions.

Jaclyn 12:03

Can I edit something?

Sam 12:04

Yeah,

Jaclyn 12:05

It's not that I want to fix people per se. It's that I see suffering and I see someone in a thought pattern or in a relationship pattern that is hurting and I want to alleviate that, because I know it's possible to alleviate that. But the reality is that the process of alleviating that requires the other person to want to alleviate it and so often they're just more comfortable in their own, whatever it is.

Sam 12:36

Maybe that's the takeaway is recognizing when somebody wants that.

Jaclyn 12:40

Yeah, it's not like I'm going around judging people going, oh, you could be better at this or you could be better at this. It's not like I'm going around judging people going, oh, you could be better at this or you could be better at this. It's not that it's. I see that you're hurting and my heart is to want to help.

Sam 12:54

Yeah, your intention is always pure.

Jaclyn 12:55

But they have to want help and I think so often they act like they want help, but they know they say that they want help but they don't act like they want help.

Sam 13:11

Yeah.

Jaclyn 13:11

And so I need to recognize that that's not the best use of my energy. And also, just like Banya has said, we don't know somebody's soul contract. You know, we don't know what they agreed to when they said okay, I am going to come into this life and maybe part of the suffering is exactly what is going to teach them the lesson that they need to learn.

Sam 13:30

Yeah.

Jaclyn 13:31

And so. I need to also let things be.

Sam 13:35

Yeah.

Jaclyn 13:36

Again, how wild it was to let it be.

Sam 13:38

A change of who you are personally, because I think so much of that is who you are, but it's that recognition of. Okay, this isn't registering,

Jaclyn 13:47

This isn't doing any good.

Sam 13:48

It's not the right place or right time

Jaclyn 13:50

If something isn't doing any good, why keep doing it?

Sam 13:54

Yeah. Okay!

Jaclyn 13:54

Okay. Next

Sam 13:55

So next Next, letting go of worrying about your health and accepting the fact that you are healthy.

Jaclyn 14:03

Oh, I just got a notification that my latest thyroid test is in and I'm nervous.

Sam 14:09

Yeah, and I this is a I think this is a big one and it goes deep. But I see this in you because I have the same sort of things. You know to catastrophize certain elements of life. But I think that that's one of the things that kind of has its hooks in you and has had its hooks in you for a while. And then when you bring a child into the world, it's even deeper.

Jaclyn 14:35

Yeah, because you worry about them all the time and you worry about yourself and you want to be there for them. Yeah, I know that you're right. I would say that is a huge area for improvement and I would say the aspect of it that you don't understand is what my endocrinologist said to me when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's, which was treating this as much more of an art than a science. And so when you get varying results all the time and you can't track it to anything specific, it's so frustrating because I always think like, oh well, I'll just make a dietary change. But sometimes the dietary change doesn't move the needle at all and all of that time I've been, you know, restricting myself or whatever, so it often feels like a crapshoot.

Sam 15:33

Yeah, and I get that. I don't get it. But just being a reflection for you, I think when you say all these measures don't really tell me anything, or I haven't figured out which lever does what, or the way that they're measured, or just a snapshot in time, and who knows if you went in and got your blood drawn an hour later, if it would have been totally different.

Jaclyn 16:08

And that is possible. It can vary multiple points in one day.

Sam 16:12

And I think both the first thing and the second thing correlate to letting go, you know, and measuring based off of how you feel. Yeah, because I think, I truly believe, that your mind is more powerful than any lab result is going to tell you. I'm not saying don't do that stuff, you know. I'm not saying don't be proactive.

Jaclyn 16:40

No, but I am hyper active about it yeah. You know, most people get like one or two thyroid tests a year. I think this year I've had six, and there have been some extenuating circumstances around that. I had a miscarriage at the end of June and so I had some extra thyroid tests around that, and so not all of that is me being hypervigilant. But I am hypervigilant and I hear you and I need you to help me.

Sam 17:10

Yeah, well, I think there is a point of diminishing return and I don't say and none of this is is met I'm not judging you because I understand why. I just think that there is a point of which you can be proactive and do the things that you need to do, but, just like everything else, you can only do what you can do, and then you have to kind of let it go.

Jaclyn 17:36

Yep, know you're right, I know you're right. Will you help me? Help to remind me of that?

Sam 17:43

Yeah.

Jaclyn 17:44

Okay!

Sam 17:44

Absolutely,

Jaclyn 17:45

And it's not that I'm not capable.

Sam 17:46

We've had this conversation before, it's not? like. This is the first time. I think this is just

Jaclyn 17:50

But I'd like to really heal from it and not have it be something that I continue to struggle with.

Sam 17:56

Yeah, unnecessarily Okay. Last thing I wrote Owning your Talent.

Jaclyn 18:04

Oh,

Sam 18:04

And I think

Jaclyn 18:05

I feel like this is kind of a backwards compliment.

Sam 18:10

Well, it's not a backwards compliment, it is a front door compliment. But you know, you've been on fire. You've been on fire this year and people have started to recognize just how talented you are in so many facets, and I think the value that I've added in this time is to prevent you from undervaluing your talent.

Jaclyn 18:44

Thank you!

Sam 18:44

Because I see it and I know what it should command from someone who wants to hire you as an interior designer or for branding or for all of the slew of talents that you have. But I think, just leaning into that more and more and being that person that you already are, but owning it,

Jaclyn 19:10

I feel like I need to frame these notes and put them on my bedside table so that I can remember them every day.

Sam 19:17

Yeah, yeah, Well, it's true, and I, so I think, um, I, I think that you know that's. Those are the three things that I'd like to see out of you in 2025 and we'll revisit the. I think it'd be good to kind of revisit.

Jaclyn 19:35

Yeah, I think it would too. Just, I feel like this was really helpful, Sam.

Sam 19:39

Yeah, well, that was my intention.

Jaclyn 19:43

I love you.

Sam 19:43

I love you. All right. So the question for the day says Jacky, come up with a question,

Jaclyn 19:50

Okay! I have one more thing to add. I want you to come up with more questions for the podcast episodes. I'm just kidding. It's not hard for me to come up with a question. So I would say in this scenario what would you like to see from yourself in 2025?

Sam 20:11

That was so easy.

Jaclyn 20:13

Yeah, what would you like to see from yourself 2025? As always guys thank you for listening I like this format where you just surprised me. Maybe we'll have to do some more of these.

Sam 20:22

Yeah, I like it too.

Jaclyn 20:23

Yeah, thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you next week!

Jaclyn 20:33

Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving. com, and on social media.

Sam 20:42

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @Beckon Living and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freaky community

Sam 20:55

Cheers to high-frequency living!