EP.170 - Unbreakable Mindset: Jackson Drum’s Story of Resilience, Faith, and Relentless Work

In this powerful episode of the Up My Hockey Podcast, Jason Podollan sits down with 18‑year‑old Jackson Drum, a former CDA (Coeur d’Alene Hockey Academy) player whose life changed in an instant after a devastating on-ice collision left him with a C1–C2 “Christopher Reeve” spinal cord injury.

Jackson shares his journey from being a late-start, underestimated hockey kid in Minnesota—told he’d be a “C player” forever—to outworking everyone around him. He walks us through shooting 500 pucks a day until his hands bled, waking up at 3:30 a.m. for extra ice, and grinding his way into CDA’s 17U prep program with a growth mindset and deep faith.

Then he takes us inside the night of the injury: the hit, the immediate paralysis, the eight minutes without breathing, and the string of “coincidences” that kept him alive—a highly trained nurse, a firefighter in the stands, and emergency intervention that saved his life. Jackson describes waking up intubated, unable to move or speak, communicating only with tongue clicks and an alphabet board, enduring a misplaced feeding tube, and living through excruciating pain with no effective medication.

Through it all, he talks candidly about his mental battle: praying for “the opportunity to get better,” refusing to accept doctors’ predictions, celebrating tiny wins like the first leg “flicker” and feeling returning to his left arm, and shifting his dream from playing to walking, coaching, and ultimately “changing the world” and helping others living with paralysis.

Jason and Jackson dive into themes every player and parent can learn from:

• The difference between saying you want it and actually doing the work.
• How a growth mindset and faith prepared Jackson for the hardest moment of his life.
• Setting big, long-term goals (walking, independence) and breaking them into small, daily wins.
• Gratitude and perspective when life doesn’t go to plan.
• Why you should chase your hockey dream fully—so you never live with regret, no matter what happens.

If you or someone you love needs a reminder of what courage, perspective, and persistence look like in real life, this conversation with Jackson Drum will stay with you long after it’s over.

To contribute to Jackson's dream you can support him at https://www.givesendgo.com/prayforjackson

If Jackson’s story hits you, share this episode with a teammate or parent, and subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. After listening, leave a review and tell us: what’s one small goal you’re committing to this week?

Transcript

Training Habits That Built Belief

Speaker 2 0:00

And I was making those improvements. I remember they had a shooting range at CDA, and I would shoot pucks on that constantly. I think I remember my gloves being ripped up within like the first two months. I told myself I wanted to get better. So I knew I had to put the work in to like get there. And I put the work in and he noticed that. And I remember one session, I get on the ice at 5.15, and across from the glasses, Jeremy. He's like looking in, he's like noticing like little things. And I think he he started giving me opportunity right before I got hurt. And I really liked, you know, he was noticing that, and the coaches were seeing improvement. And they really liked that that I'd had that growth mindset too, like you said.

Meet Jackson And The Injury

Starting Hockey Late And Doubt

Speaker 0:49

That was Jackson Drum, and you are listening to the Up My Hockey podcast with Jason Podollan. Welcome to Up My Hockey with Jason Podollan, where we deconstruct the NHL journey, discuss what it takes to make it, and have a few laughs along the way. I'm your host, Jason Podollan, a 31st overall draft pick who played 41 NHL games, but thought he was destined for a thousand. Learn from my story and those of my guests. This is a hockey podcast about reaching your potential. Hello, and welcome to the Up My Hockey Podcast with Jason Podollan. I am your host, Jason Podollan, and you are here for episode 170. 170 episodes now in the book, and my guest today is Jackson Drumm. Uh Jackson Drum is someone that I didn't know and didn't know his name until something really, really unfortunate happened to him. We could call it a tragedy. He went into the boards in a CSS HL hockey game while playing for the Queer d'Alene Wings and uh broke a C1, C2, and uh I guess they call it the Christopher Reeve break. And he was unconscious on the ice for eight minutes. He couldn't move anything, couldn't breathe. Uh, and by some fortunate circumstances by who was there, he was able to uh maintain his life and get uh transported to the hospital. And today I had the chance to speak with him. And uh really uh such a compelling story uh from tragedy to what I would call triumph, where he's at in his life right now and what he's done to overcome uh where he started from is nothing short of a miracle, really, in some people's eyes. And uh until I guess you you start talking to people that that know Jackson and knew Jackson before the accident. And uh and as you may have heard uh with with some of these things where people overcome you know great setbacks and and and and huge adversity, that the the miracle is really inside of the person. And and it was and it was always there because of who the person was. And uh and Jackson by all accounts, um by his and and by those who were around him at the uh at the academy, he was just an optimist and he was a goal setter, and and he was willing to do whatever he could to make his dreams come true. And and uh and yeah, you know, when that when that is inside of you, and and when and with that's if that's your recipe and and you're familiar with that recipe, uh, it wasn't a shock to a lot of people that, hey, this kid who wasn't potentially even going to breathe on his own again, uh, was supposed to definitely not walk again, maybe get use of some limbs like with minimal type of usage, and and and here he is um now moved from uh from a walker to hand crutches, and uh and yeah, he's he's he's on his way to his goal of being able to being able to to walk. Um he's a great kid. Uh I I was really happy to be able to to spend you know an hour with him. And uh and boy, if there's ever life lessons in any one of my podcasts, this is one of them. You know, a kid who had a dream to to play to play hockey at at the highest level that he could. Uh had that taken away from him, and uh, but he kept dreaming and he kept working. And uh and now he he really wants to use you know his situation as uh as a way to be great, in in his words. He he wants to change the world. And uh and hopefully this this podcast will will uh will help him get him on his way and you'll be more familiar with him and his story and and what a great kid that he is. So um yeah, he's uh he's 18 years old right now at the time at the time of us recording this. He's uh from Andover, I believe, Minnesota. And uh and yeah, he you know our paths kind of crossed because he was at CDA when I wasn't, and now I am in CDA, CDA meaning quarterline hockey academy. So uh his coach at the time, Aaron Ava Azevedo, uh uh is still very close with Jackson, and and I got to meet him in Minnesota when we went there for some exhibition games, so I got to shake his hand and to see him. Um, but definitely he's talked about very frequently at the academy, and and there's a lot of players that are here still uh that played with him. So his memory has not been lost at CDA, and and I know that he's touched the hearts and minds of uh of a lot of people, and and a lot of you out there were very supportive of him when the injury happened and and uh help helped the family and him get back on his feet. So uh yeah, I guess that's that that's all I got. But I uh I hope you really enjoy this one. If this was his second podcast, he told me before uh before we started, and and he was a little bit nervous, but I thought he did an absolutely fantastic job. So without further ado, I bring you Jackson Drum. All right, here we are. Welcome to the show, Jackson Drum for episode 170. I couldn't be happier to have you, man. Thanks for being here.

Speaker 2 6:24

Yeah, thank you, Jason, for having me. I guess uh I'm ready.

Speaker 6:28

You're ready, you're ready to go. Well, this has been on the back burner for a while. Like we uh just for those listening, we we met in Minnesota um and uh for the first time, and and we talked about potentially doing this, but you're a busy man with a lot on the go, and uh, and then you just reached out there a little while ago and said, Hey, now's the time. So I'm excited that uh that we're able to make it happen.

Speaker 2 6:51

For real, man.

Speaker 6:53

I've been watching CDA's games, so I betcha. I bet you yeah, maybe we should start there. So uh Jackson is uh is a CDA alum, and now, as most of you know, my listeners, I am coaching at CDA, and we're heading into the playoffs here right away. Uh so Jackson and I never cross paths at CDA, but Jackson, like what brought you to CDA in the first place?

Speaker 2 7:16

So I'll start it off. Um, I live in Alexandria, Minnesota. I have three sisters, um, none of them played hockey. My dad only played hockey until like banner year. So I don't really have like a bunch of say the hockey jeans in me.

Speaker 1 7:31

Yeah.

Speaker 2 7:31

And when I first started, I started skating. I'm gonna go uh into the well how I started skating when I did and stuff, talk about that. But I started skating when I was around like nine years old. So I was like, I was late, I was late to the party in a way, and all these other kids were like miles ahead of me. Well, what felt like miles ahead of me. And I was like, you know what, I don't really know if I want to do this. And my parents, after every single hockey game, they would bring me to Dairy Queen because they didn't want me to quit hockey because all the other kids were so far ahead of me. And it wasn't until my freshman year when I decided that I was gonna play, go basically like as hard as I can because I wanted I had a dream. I never really like took it serious, and then all of a sudden I was like, you know what? I really want to do this. And there's a bunch of other things that helped me, like um FCA hockey and stuff. They helped me a lot through the journey, my struggles. But I always had coaches that never believed in me from a very young age. I had coaches tell me that I'd be a C player my entire life. I would never make I never made an A team. I was a B1, B2 hockey player, but I had uh I had a lot of work ethic in me. I was willing to grind way harder than everybody else on the team. So that's what I did. I mean I remember um Rick Randazzo, he's the manager of FCA hockey, and he told me to shoot like 500 pucks a day. And I would shoot all these pucks and like my hands would start bleeding, and I would put like band-aids over it just to just to finish off 500 pucks in one day, which is kind of funny. How old were you when you were doing that?

Speaker 9:22

I was 15. Okay, so that was like that was when you made that decision to be like, hey, I want to actually not just play hockey, but I want to be a hockey player.

Speaker 2 9:30

Yeah, and I had some catching up to do, you know. I had to do a lot of research myself because I never had that like prior knowledge from my parents, I guess. And they always told me they helped me along the way a lot, and they never really wanted to send me out until like I was willing to make that decision. So, and plus on top of it, I was um I wanted to make the varsity team as a freshman, of course. So I worked really hard and I actually never ended up getting the varsity role that I really wanted. I still worked extremely hard. And my after that year, it was a it was a pretty rough year. Uh like the hockey side, they don't really talk about it. But it was like a lot of seniors, a lot of seniors put a lot of pressure on me. Like they never really took me serious. They always forced me to do it because I was the rookie on the team. I'm sure you know what that's like.

Speaker 1 10:27

Yeah.

Moving Away To Chase The Dream

Speaker 2 10:29

So I was like, you know what? I'm I'm going in next year. I went through a lot of mental struggles during that summer, my freshman and sophomore summer. And I kind of put hockey off to the side and I needed to figure out what was going on. And like focused on my mental health, which was definitely a big role because it was a rough season for me. And I really didn't know like if I wanted to play again, I'm gonna be honest. And it was a hard decision for me. So, but I kept pushing through, just like I always did, and God definitely helped me with it throughout throughout like a lot of it. And after my sophomore year, guess what? I was still a JV hockey player, right? And so I never really even got an opportunity to play varsity hockey. So I was like, you know what? I'm still working really hard. I don't have the resources, I didn't have enough ice, I didn't have enough time in my day. Like, I put everything into this. So I call up Josh Fritis, he's um one of the guys from FC hockey, he's like a strength trainer. And he's like, You gotta you gotta work really hard. And so I helped out that whole summer. I worked, uh played hockey, I worked out, I did everything in my power to be the best person and the best hockey player that I could be. It just in like general, like I remember um like talking on the phone with him for like an hour about like all the struggles and everything that's been hard, especially everyone. Everyone goes through hard things, I believe. But only the ones that really like push through, I feel like, are the ones that get there. So I decided that I wanted to go all in again for the second time. And I left. I talked to Rick, and he talked to Jeremy, and Jeremy was like, you know what? We'll take you. And I went to Chowder Cup, and that's where Jeremy got to see me play. And Jeremy didn't really uh think I don't even know if what Jeremy thought of me. So I ended up playing uh CDAI go there, and it wasn't a trial or anything, but man, these kids, I get there and I just get crushed. Like it was uh it was a hard like I grinded all that whole summer just to go there to play, and I just get crushed by these guys that you know have been playing hockey for forever, and they were like they had everything. So I ended up making uh 17U prep, and I was like, you know what? I wanna I wanna get off this team as fast as I can. You can't you can't force a kid to make the NHL. The kid has to want to make the NHL. So I did everything in my power. I talked to coaches, parents, um, I got a lot of billet stories too that aren't that good.

Speaker 13:33

So you go so you get uh so you're you're kind of you have a mentor there at FC. He says, Hey, you know, if you you want you want more ice, you want, you want more opportunity to be the player you want to be, uh maybe we need to find you know a new home, right? For you. And and uh and CDA then becomes an option. Uh Jeremy, who's a director of hockey here at CDA, he catches you catches you at the Chowder Cup and says, Hey, yeah, I think you can play. Come on out and and stay with us. So was that a big like how was that decision there to even to to sign the contract and uh move out to the west and live in Idaho?

Speaker 2 14:07

Um, it was scary, you know, and I had a lot of friends at where I live too. And I told them, I remember calling them on the way back after, and I was like, hey, you know, I just want to let you guys know, like I wish the I wish the best for you, and I want to go and pursue like this dream. And that was like that was a struggle, man. Just like telling my friends, yeah, you know, I want to go pursue this. And I remember like they were they were happy for me in a way. They believed in me from the start. A lot of memories with them, and I had to tell my coach. Yeah, and he didn't really think anything of it, I honestly think. He didn't really think anything of it. I leave and then I realize that like that last week there that or like not my last week there, but the first week that I get there, and I gotta like say goodbye to my parents.

Speaker 1 15:05

Right.

Speaker 2 15:06

And that's like a that's a that's a hard mental step to get over. You know, not saying like, oh, I'm not gonna see my parents for X, Y, Z amount of like days, months, maybe even a year.

Speaker 15:22

So how was that with your decision? Like that that that decision. Like obviously you were excited about it. Um what uh what pushed you over the edge to you know to be able to say goodbye to friends to say goodbye to family?

Speaker 2 15:35

Just like always being told that I wasn't gonna be like anything from like a young age. And that was that's what made it like really hard. Was I never had like any faith in me. Like nobody besides from my parents, you know. Uh FCA hockey helped me a lot along it. And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna be something. So that's what I did. And I was like, now it's now it's all up to me. That's kind of what my mindset was.

Speaker 16:11

Right. And so you show up there, you show up there, like you said, so you've never played varsity hockey before. Yeah, you're your you know, your junior varsity where you were playing, uh, you get to 17 prep, which is a pretty strong league out here for sure, as you saw. CSS HL and playing with Fort Elaine. And was that even a bit of an eye-opener? Like getting on the ice with those guys. You said they're roughing you up a little bit. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 16:33

And I was like, you know what, this is what it's gonna be like for the next year. I was like, it's gonna be extremely hard, and I knew that. I was prepared for it. And I remember I I get on the ice and coaches are there, they're like all watching you, they're doing like these these drills, and you gotta perform your best because you wanna you wanna make the best team, right? So I go around and you know, I thought I was pretty good. Well, it turns out I wasn't, like I already said. I remember we were I think we were doing Russian circles, that was our warm-up drill. And I was like, holy, these guys are pretty fast.

Speaker 1 17:17

Right.

Speaker 17:19

So, how do you handle that? So, I mean, I I love digging into that because I know it's gonna, well, I assume it's going to be an ongoing theme of our conversation, but like stepping into something that's scary, you know, that's difficult. One, moving away from home, moving away from friends, moving away from family. Two, you get into that environment where it is all new, and now you look up and you're like, holy smokes, these guys are good, and I'm not quite where I maybe thought I was or where I I wanted to be. That's hard, right? That's hard. A lot of people turn around and go the other way. Like, what's your what's been your personality type or your character type when you step into something that's hard? Uh, I've always known that.

Speaker 2 17:58

Just give me a second here. I always knew that hard things were gonna happen, whether I liked it or not. And it was way better for me to just accept that I know that the hard things are gonna happen, but I know that I can make it through as like a person. And I know that there is an end, but there's also not an end because stuff keeps happening, the stuff keeps coming at you, you can't do anything about it. And there were a lot of things that were out of my control too. That's kind of been my mentality of it, and I always wanted to be the best that I could be.

Outworked And Outskilled At First

Speaker 18:42

Right. That's amazing. I love that. Do you uh are you familiar like with the with the term of of a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? Is that something you've read about or heard about? Yes. Okay, all the time. Awesome. So then I don't need to tell you, and my listeners know too, that that's one of the things that I really, really endorse, preach, and think everyone should be an expert at is you know, the idea of what a growth mindset is and how we can choose a growth mindset at any moment, you know, when things get hard, when adversity strikes, uh, when mistakes happen, you know, what is our approach to that? You know, what is the choice we want to make in that moment? Um, and it seems like you're always seeing yourself and have seen yourself as somebody that pushes through the hard moments and you're willing to put in the work and you're and you're and you believe in the ability to improve as well, which is a really important factor, correct?

Speaker 2 19:35

Mm-hmm. Exactly. Um, another uh good point too is that I did get the ice and I did get like um the academics, I had all that, and I remember I would they would have these skates at like you could get on the ice at like five in the morning, and it would go until 7:45, and then um the U17 would be at 8. So what I would do is I would wake up at 3 30 in the morning and get ready for this like practice session, you know, because everybody, everybody else was like still sleeping, even my roommate man, he would he'd hear my alarm go off and he would like turn the other way. Yeah, he's like, Who's this crazy guy beside me? Uh-huh. And I get to the rink at five in the morning. This is uh the first day of it. I get on the ice. You probably know him. Tyson. Tyson comes up to me and he's like, the nets aren't even on the ice, by the way. And I totally forgot that I gotta pull the nets out. And he's like, if you get on the ice, you gotta pull the nets out.

Speaker 20:46

You're like, okay, coach. I agree.

Speaker 2 20:48

It was like it was like 515 by the time that even the nets were out. And so I did that, it was Tuesday and Thursday. I did that as much as I could, and I was making those improvements. I remember they had a shooting range at CDA, and I would shoot pucks on that constantly. I think I remember my gloves being ripped up within like the first two months. Right. And that's what I that's what I did, is just I I told myself I wanted to get better. So I knew I had to put the work in to like get there. And I had uh I had a lot of help with it from parents. I call my parents every day.

Speaker 21:26

That's awesome.

Speaker 2 21:27

I talked to Aaron a lot, um, the coach, head coach for the um U17 prep team. I talked to him as much as I could to get better as an athlete. And I put the work in, and he noticed that. And I remember one session, I get on the ice at 5 15, and across from the glasses, Jeremy. He's like looking in, he's like noticing like little things. And I think he he started giving me opportunity right before I got hurt, and I really like. You know, he was noticing that, and the coaches were seeing improvement. And they really liked that. That I'd had that growth mindset too, like you said.

5 AM Sessions And Growth Mindset

Speaker 22:14

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unknown 23:52

Yeah.

Speaker 23:52

Right? So like you get to see improvement in yourself. So like you're kind of getting both uh sides of that coin, if you say when it comes to like the the ability to gain confidence. Which which one do you think had had greater impact? The the the seeing yourself improve, or you knowing that you're the type of guy that is willing to do whatever it takes to improve.

Speaker 2 24:11

Definitely the willing, willing to get better, like anything, because not only did I see myself like get like this like confidence, because I know that you know I'm doing everything in my power to get better, so I do feel like I felt really good about myself because I knew I was gonna get better. I love that.

Speaker 24:34

I've I I I absolutely love that, and it's like that that's the part that until you get in the fight and until you do it, like you don't really understand what that means. You know, I I say I say to my clients all the time that you got to win the credibility contest, and and that's with yourself, right? Like if you say you're gonna do something, and if you let yourself off the hook and you don't do it, you've only lost you've only lost your own respect, you know, at the end of the day. And and the more you can build that respect up, and the more that you now value that in yourself, the the the less it happens, you know. And I think that there's a really interesting sense of confidence and self-worth that comes from that. And and so, like in a really crazy way, your life up to the point of the injury was really preparing you for the injury, was it not?

Sponsors And Hydration Break

Speaker 2 25:17

Yes, a hundred percent. I don't know what I would have done if I wasn't, you know, in that mindset where I, you know, I'm gonna get better. And it's it's super like crazy to me because I was working so hard that like I did everything off the rink, I did everything on the rink, I did all this work, I stretched, I ate right, and I at the start when I first got hurt, I was like, What the heck is going on? Sure, it was it was extremely uh eye-opening for me because I knew whatever happened, I was gonna get through.

Speaker 1 25:56

Right.

Speaker 2 25:57

Yeah, I remember um in the hospital this week my mom goes, Jackson, you're paralyzed, you know what that means, right? And I go, Yeah, I'm not dumb.

Speaker 26:12

Was that under sedation or out of sedation?

Speaker 2 26:14

I think I was under sedation a little bit.

Speaker 26:16

We always say we always say snappy stuff when we're under sedation.

Speaker 2 26:19

Yeah, so like it was kind of funny, but uh I can talk a little bit about the injury too, and like how it happened.

The Injury Game And The Hit

Speaker 26:26

If you're okay with it, I'd love to. I mean, I'm sure people would be interested, like you know, of of the event, you know. You're you're I heard you were playing some of your best hockey at the time.

Speaker 2 26:34

I was that was like I think I had um I'll tell you uh a little bit like before the game. So I just recovered off of a pulled groin. I had I just recovered off of a broken, like my broke my like toe or something, just some stupid injury, and I had RSV, so I was very sick, and I had flu H on top of it. Jeez, so I'm already going into this game at like with a disadvantage over everybody else. And Aaron puts me on the the power play, and I score a goal on the power play, just a one timer. Yes, I'm like I like got all this adrenaline in me, and I go through the I go through um like the bench a little bit, giving everybody knocks. You know how it is. Sure. And uh he leaves me on the ice. I was like, that was the best performance. If I got to choose like which game I would have gone out, that would have been the game because that was on fire, man.

Speaker 27:38

That is wild. So that's so you get a goal, you're feeling it, even though you're overcoming all these things, like you're you know, you're feeling it even though you're not feeling it, right? Yeah, which is uh you know what? I mean, that's crazy because there's another, like there's a lot of players that would have been probably not in the lineup and probably would have decided not to play, and probably wouldn't have thought that you know, if I can't be my best, then I'm not gonna go out there. But you had that warrior attitude, and we're like, hey, I'm gonna give her.

Speaker 2 28:03

Yeah. Uh in that it was a game against rink. I blocked a shot off my foot, and Aaron watched me like get into the bench, and then I laid on the ground because it hurt so bad. And I get up and I change right in front of Aaron, and Aaron watched me changes and goes onto the ice still, and my like my foot is just broken.

Speaker 1 28:24

Right. That's wild.

Speaker 28:28

So let's let's move forward to the incident. It's uh I I haven't seen it. Uh, I don't know. I I I've I've heard people talk about it, but I haven't heard you talk about it. So, what what happened in in the moment?

Speaker 2 28:41

Okay, so I was I what I remember a hundred percent is this this is how it went. Someone's uh one of our teammates turned the puck over, and they come into the zone, and the kid decides to dump the puck, and he like thinks that I'm gonna go and like step up on him to hit him, right? Really, I don't think I would have got hurt if I wouldn't have like like kind of played the puck. Usually I am the type of person to like play the body, but this time I didn't because I was you know he kind of dumped the puck. So I transition and as I'm transitioning, he hits my shoulder, so it causes me to like fly backwards, and I hit my head directly on the boards. Like I didn't hit my head first, I didn't hit my head on the ice first, I hit my head on the boards first. So realistically, if I could it could have been like a second later, and I wouldn't have been this way, right? You know, it's like it just happened to be in just like that scenario where it just like and when I first got hit, like I tried to move, right? And I couldn't move anything, and I was like, what the heck's going on? Right.

Speaker 29:55

Mm-hmm. So you weren't unconscious, like it wasn't a big enough hit to like you know, knock you out or anything.

Speaker 2 30:01

I I it took me so I was actually passed out for eight minutes. You were yeah, and uh the I remember so my parents tell me that I had there was an overqualified nurse on the bench, and there's a firefighter that came to the game that sat and had no kids in the game, just happened to be by the by the hockey rink, and he sees this happen. And in uh I don't remember if he had an armor in the truck, but he pulled he comes in. Uh, this is when so then uh tell it like in detail on how it started first. So the overqualified nurse comes running under the ice. I uh uh my goalie friend, she he he ran towards me, he was wondering what the heck was going on, and everybody's like around me, and they back off from me, and the overqualified nurse comes by and she sees that like I'm not moving and I'm like passed out, right?

Speaker 31:00

Right, so it's funny. You're not conscious for any of what you're telling me right now. This is this is what you're you've been told already.

Speaker 2 31:08

I was conscious for I think like the first 15 or 30 seconds, right? So I remember trying to move and I couldn't.

Speaker 1 31:14

Yeah.

Speaker 2 31:15

So the the coach, you know, coach Aaron, he sees this happen and he actually had um someone when he was playing junior hockey have like get paralyzed as well. Really? So he's already seen it before it even happened. Wow. So he's already seen like one of these like things happen too, like um like from a player's perspective too, not just a coach's perspective.

Speaker 1 31:42

Yeah.

Speaker 2 31:43

And my parents in the whole time my parents are watching the watching it on TV, of course, losing their minds. And finally the firefighter comes in, they have to roll me onto my back. And uh firefighter puts like an ambu bag down my throat. They the ambulance, they call it an ambulance too. There's so much stuff going on. They put the amboo bag down my throat, and the next time I wake up, I'm being loaded onto the ambulance, and there's a stretcher under me, and I got this bag down my throat. I'm saying that I need air, I need air, because I didn't breathe for so long. Is that what the bag was for? Yeah, yeah, because I couldn't breathe on my own.

Speaker 32:26

Right. So he knew. So thank goodness that this this firefighter is there because that that that device that you're talking about, I don't think that lives on most hockey benches. Um, to put that in somebody's mouth or down somebody's throat. So that did that essentially keep you alive while you were unconscious? Yeah, it kept me alive. Crazy.

Speaker 2 32:44

And there's like so many things I go in, I don't know how else to explain it. Yeah. I think it's just it's just God doing his work. Right.

unknown 32:53

Yeah.

ICU Reality And No Voice

Speaker 2 32:54

So I'm being loaded onto the ambulance. I'm saying that I need air. And the whole ambulance crew is going like, what the heck? And next thing I know, I pass out again. And I get to the hospital. The there's a first hospital. There were two hospitals that I went to at the start. So the first hospital that I went to, they did an MRI and they were like, What the heck's going on? Right. And turns out that I broke my C1C2, which is like one of the worst injuries. Another way to put it is that um it was Christopher Reeves kind of injury. Superman. Yep, Superman. It was a spinal cord injury, though. Gotta make sure, make that clear.

unknown 33:39

Right.

Speaker 2 33:40

His was a spinal cord injury or yours was? Mine was, and his was too. Okay. So the first hospital, they get me intubated, which is probably the one of the most painful things. I've that's so painful. And that is the what is that exactly? So they basically shove a tube down your throat, and it gives you air without having like to pump like a bottle for air. And they get me onto the ambulance and they say my injury is too severe. They didn't say that to me. I was still unconscious. And I get back on the ambulance and they say that my injury is too severe, and I need to go to a level one hospital, like a trauma level one. So I go to the go to the Vancouver, Vancouver General. And mind you, this building is like it's kind of like run down. And it's like they kept awning on to the building. So like it was like the floor was like ripped up. You didn't even know what was going on. This is from my parents' perspective, not even mine, because I couldn't really see. Can't move anything. I wake up and I'm on my left side, and I it's dark out. It's dark because the game was at like 7 p.m.

Speaker 1 35:08

Yeah.

Speaker 2 35:09

It's really dark out, I can't see anything. I'm wondering what the heck is going on. And I couldn't move a single thing. I couldn't even talk. Couldn't talk. Couldn't talk at all. And I had there was someone across from me. There were there was um a burn unit, and this guy had his legs burned off, and he was like screaming. And this was like this is like the most that I remember so far up to this point, I think. And he's like screaming, I'm like, what the heck is this guy screaming about? Well, his legs were like burned off. Like, and I had no clue about that until my parents came back, and it took them about like two days to show up because they were they were rushing as fast as they could to get there. They had to go through the border with with uh no passport, actually, an expired passport. Like, my son's uh my son's in this hospital, like this is what happened. A lot of a lot of stuff.

Speaker 36:08

Yeah, I believe it. So can I ask you a question about you you're saying you when you come to you're intubated because you can't breathe, right? Like and you can't speak. Uh and that's and that's due to the the the spinal cord injury at the time, yeah. But you could see, is that accurate, and you could blink or not? I could see, I could see, and I could blink. Okay, was that the extent of what you what of what your function function was? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 36:37

That was about it. I couldn't move my head because C1, C2, that's as that's as high as you can get it. So there's this bone in your head. I'm not really sure what it's called, but it's at the top of your head, and if you break that, or if it moves at all, you're forced, you see, you have a spinal cord injury on top of this, but you're forced to where you can't move your head like at all. Like you can't turn left or right, you're basically there, and it's called they call it um uh decapitation, basically. You're basically decapitated, right? Because you can't you can't move anything no matter what, you can't even open your eyes. Actually, some of some of them um you can open your eyes, but you can't blink.

Speaker 37:20

So, how how did like from a communication standpoint? Like, one, I'm just trying to get inside your head, right? Like, so you're you're thinking, you can think, you can see, but you have no way to communicate at all because you can't move your hands and you can't speak, and you're probably unknowing about what's going on. I'm sure someone maybe's talking to you, but like how how how was that? How was the communication aspect?

Speaker 2 37:41

Man, the communication, it took forever for my parents to get there, but I would go like I would do like these noises with my tongue. That's how I would communicate when I needed something. Because you know, I couldn't I couldn't do anything else, I couldn't move my arms, so like I can move my head, I could just use my tongue to that's all I could do, right?

Speaker 38:00

And so your tongue you could move, but you couldn't speak because of the thing that was in your throat.

Speaker 2 38:04

Is is that more well on top of that, too, is your diaphragm is at C3, C4. So for you to be able to breathe, you have to have an injury basically below that, usually. Some people are different, and that doesn't end up happening to them, yeah. And my injury was so high to where I didn't have any of that. I didn't have I couldn't breathe on my own for a very long time. Right.

Medical Mistakes And Uncontrolled Pain

Speaker 38:25

So you could move your tongue, you could click, um, and somehow you did some type of Morse code signaling or whatever to get some things uh to the nurses and back to you.

Speaker 2 38:36

Yeah, uh I'll explain this part too. They had like a little word, like it the alphabet on like a like a piece of paper. So every single time they would go over like a it would be A, B, C, D, and they would go down, and then they would go down the line until I'll do like a click. Because there was no communication, right? Right. You had to spell out what you wanted to say.

Speaker 1 38:59

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 38:59

Every single time, and those uh I don't know how long I was there for. I think I was there for a month and a half. Those it was so frustrating to be able to like communicate. It was extremely hard. I remember my dad, he was like, Jackson, you know, come on, like, it's so hard for me to and I was super frustrated because I was like, the first thing I actually, you know, because I'm a hockey player, the first thing that I asked for actually when I got this, you know, when I communicated was my elite prospects, of course. I cared more about my elite prospects than the actual injury.

Speaker 39:40

Well, you wanted to see what your views were at, or what?

Speaker 2 39:42

Yes, I was like, Oh, that's wild.

Speaker 39:47

That's good for you. I'm actually partners with elite prospects. We'll have to we'll have to clip this one. We can we can tell you how how important uh they are uh to you in that moment. That's great. What um what what and and and I don't want to make it dark or dreary, but that you have you've had to have been f completely scared. I would um and like how was that like when you first kind of realized or whatever it was, like what was going through your head?

Speaker 2 40:14

So I would have to say in when I was in Canada, they didn't do my hardware in the back of my neck correctly, because they thought I was just beyond just like beyond repair, like they never thought anything of it, and they were like, You gotta get a feeding tube because I'm not gonna be able to eat, right? Because you know, if I'm if I'm not able to even talk or breathe or like anything, I could aspirate, which is where you basically just throw up like your food that you're eating. Right. Well, it turns out that they misplaced my feeding tube, they put it in my colon. So so I had to go through no food. I dropped down to 120 pounds, I couldn't eat. So you want to know what the worst part was? Is I didn't get any meds, no painkillers, no nothing. And I was in pain for a month and a half, and that pain was so bad. It feels like you're being burned alive.

Speaker 41:13

And why couldn't they give you painkillers, partner?

Speaker 2 41:16

Because they put it, they put the peg tube, they would flush it through the peg tube.

Speaker 41:19

Oh, so they thought it was in the right spot, they thought you were getting fed, they're giving you your meds through this tube, and the whole time you're not absorbing any of it because everything's in the wrong spot. No, I'm not uh no, yeah.

First Flickers Of Movement

Speaker 2 41:30

I mean, yeah, sorry. And I'm not absorbing any of it. And they thought it was the food, right? So originally they put me on this this soy food, right? And I was like, you put me on soy, like that's what my expression was. I couldn't say that, but like my eyes got really big, right? And I was like, I do not want to be put on soy. So they changed the food, right? They do this really healthy stuff, and it turns out that's still they're still wondering like what the heck is going on. And by about this time, a bunch of people came there. Rick Randazzo, the team, Aaron. I had uh major support from FCA hockey and CDA. They were great. Even um Vancouver, the Vancouver Canucks even came visited me. That was nice. Shout out Dave. I don't know if he'll listen to this. He's the pastor there.

Speaker 1 42:19

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 42:22

So I'm going through this and I and I'm like, what I finally realize what the heck is going on.

Speaker 1 42:31

Right.

Speaker 2 42:32

I'm like, I I've been here for a week and I can't move anything, right? And finally at around the two-week mark, I have a physical therapist come in and they're like stretching me, you know, because they have uh they're supposed to come in there, like get you ready and like try to, you know, try to help you even if like you're like me. So they come in and they're like they they're start they start touching my leg and they're like, you know, try to pull it to your chest, right? And I had like a flicker, it's what it's called a flicker, and what that means is that it's firing, like it's working, it's just not strong. So they tell me to you know, try to lift it up to your chest, try to kick out your legs, and I could kick out my legs a little bit, which is kind of insane because my injury, but you want to know what those doctors said to me? They were like, they saw that and they're like, you know what, he's only gonna get his legs back. And I could not believe it. That's what they told my parents. And I remember my mom even me like this was before I could move uh anything, and they're like, they asked the doctor, you know, what are the chances of him like being able to walk again or like being able to live independently? And they're she goes, uh, you know, maybe like is it like one one in like a hundred thousand? And the doctor goes, No. Is it like one in a million? And he's like, maybe, maybe. He's like he basically told us that like yours for you to even be able to recover at all is impressive on its own. So like for me when I got there and I they moved me from one ICU to another ICU and I was able to move this, move my leg after the first two weeks. I should uh for anybody that's a PT or whatever out there, say that I originally I was an Asia A complete, so I couldn't feel anything my arms or my legs. And I could feel my left arm, right? Like they would touch it and I could feel it. And they do like this pin needle test to see if you can feel it. And I I tried to like tell them that I could feel it, and I started making that noise. And they thought I was lying. They straight up thought I was lying about that. I could feel it.

Speaker 44:55

So that was the one that was like where you felt like that was where you kind of felt life back in your body again for the first time was was in your left arm.

Speaker 2 45:04

Yeah. Even though, you know, they thought how exciting was that for you?

Speaker 45:08

Like that must have been super exciting, I assume.

Speaker 2 45:10

Uh well, at that point I was thinking about playing hockey again. I wasn't very focused on you know recovery. I just wanted to get back in the ice on the ice.

Speaker 45:19

Right. So you were still in that head, and then and that's obviously an authentic, honest answer. Like, so you you're in a spot where you can't breathe, you haven't eaten because the tube's in the wrong spot, you're in pain, you haven't moved anything, haven't felt anything, can't talk, and you're still thinking about getting back on the ice, right?

Speaker 2 45:33

And I remember I told my mom, so after around the two weeks, they do this thing, it's called like a speaking valve, and it basically helps you like be able to finally talk. And my mom, she that's where she asked the you know, your paralyzed question. And then she also um I remember telling her I was like, Yeah, you know, I'm gonna have to work so hard to get back on the ice, even though that that wasn't really gonna happen. And I ended up dropping. Did you think it really wasn't gonna happen, buddy? Yeah, no, I'll get back on the ice. I want to coach rocky.

Speaker 46:11

Okay, but in the moment when you said that, like, was that just for for show to say to somebody, or did you actually think that you could get back on the ice?

Speaker 2 46:18

No, I thought that I could get back on the ice. That wasn't for show. That was just yeah, I don't know. I was in a whole different headspace. Yeah. The doctors thought I was crazy. Even three doctors had to come in and like tell me that you're paralyzed, and I still told them that I wasn't gonna be, you know. Yeah, I told them that I was gonna walk. I mouthed the words. Um it's gonna, it's kind of contradicting in a way, but I was finally there was little things that came back that I can't even remember. Like I could finally mouth words and like a bunch of little tiny things. Like I I could move my head a little bit to the left. There's like videos on my uh mom's Facebook.

Speaker 47:00

Is is there is there, and and maybe you know, maybe you don't know, but is there any reason that happened? Like, was it was it because of the therapy? Was it because you maybe you were you know, I I don't know how that works. Like, how come stuff started to come back a little bit at a time?

Speaker 2 47:15

So it's really confusing because every spinal cord injury is completely different. So some people can have the same break as me, like Christopher Reeves, and be on a ventilator for the rest of their life, you know, and not be able to move anything. Their arms, legs, whatever, they can't eat on their own. And I don't know if it was like God's gift or something. I don't know how, but I was able to do things that doctors and like thousands of people like did not expect to like actually happen.

Speaker 47:48

Right. And did I hear it right earlier when you said that they when they operated or they did the surgery on your neck that they did they not do that surgery properly? Did you have to get that redone? Yeah, not yet, but I will when I'm around like when I get older.

Speaker 2 48:02

Oh, okay. So my range of motion is I can't look to the right as good as I can look to the left.

Speaker 48:08

Okay, and that's more to do with the surgery and not to do with the actual injury.

Speaker 2 48:14

Uh I believe so. They didn't put a bone graph in, which is basically where it connects the two uh like surgeries or kind of like uh what is it? What's a good way to put it? The screws, basically.

Faith Before And After Trauma

Speaker 48:27

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Speaker 2 50:18

Yes, it was actually like a really big part of my life. So when I was nine years old, my parents signed me up for FCA hockey, and this is where I talk about that. And what does FCA stand for? Fellowship of Christian athletes.

Speaker 50:33

Oh, okay. So there you go. So there's there's a religious piece right there.

Speaker 2 50:38

Mm-hmm. And I completely loved being there. That was like the best time of my life was you know being a part of FCA hockey. And I'm like nine years old, ten years old, and I'm like, oh, this this and that, it's so great. And they I remember they have these testimonies, these guys come up to speak, and a lot of them talk about their struggles, you know, and like what you're like gonna like end up facing. And it really was like eye-opening for me to like see how these like struggles affected these people and how like God ended up helping and healing these people from what had happened to them.

Speaker 51:17

You had so you had history of developing a relationship, you know, with God, with with your faith, and and and seeing and seeing the role that that had played, successful role that had played in other people that were going through adversity. Had you had you had any type of a personal connection in in your opinion with God, or did he stepped into your life in any way uh prior to the uh to the accident? So I talked to God.

Meaning Beyond Hockey Identity

Speaker 2 51:41

Um I remember sitting um on sophomore year, like asking God like to give me like a clear path. And you know, I this was the summer sophomore year. Nope, yeah. And I was like, you know, God give me a clear path. And I just remember um receiving a text from Josh Friedas, and he was like, you know, do you want to come out and you know, chaperon these kids? And I've I've had a lot of adversity, I mean, with this injury too. But just like when you're at like rock bottom and you feel like there's no way up, I just I would always pray and uh I'd read the Bible and I always thought, you know, there would you get better. So he sends me a text and he's asking to chaperone and I like couldn't believe it, you know. I was sitting at the end of my bed and I just receive a text from Josh Redis, and he calls me to come chaperone, like I've already said, gosh, he said it too much now. I go up there, I chaperone these kids, I meet some amazing people, and that's when I realized that you know it is possible, and God healed me just in that moment. I kept up and I kept talking to them, and I we did like a Bible in a year, that was extremely helpful. That kept my faith up, you know.

Speaker 53:11

And it's just post-injury or or pre before the injury? Before the injury. This is before the injury, okay. This is when you're like dealing with the with the struggles of uh of high school and what you were going through there, and you you found that yeah, that connection then.

Speaker 2 53:27

I think that's the that's when I felt the closest to God, and I still feel extremely close to God to this day. But that is realistically when I felt the closest to God. And I I did everything, man. That's when I started like going all into right. And for me to get hurt and like still have trust in the Lord, there were struggles, man, when I first got hurt when I was like, God, you know, this is what I said to God. This is my first prayer when I said it, when I got hurt, was God just give me the opportunity to get better, and I will get better. So that's kind of what I thought. And slowly, I mean, even after, you know, all these things, still peg tube in the wrong spot, you know, medical flight issues to get back to the US because I got hurt in Vancouver. And it was extremely hard, but I still I still kept praying to myself.

Speaker 54:30

You got a ton of positivity. Your outlooks, your outlook's amazing. And what I'm wondering is is like in the dark moments, did you like did you have the why me? Like, why is this happening to me uh ever?

Micro Goals For Walking Again

Speaker 2 54:46

I did have the why me moments when I got um to Shepherd Center, which is in Atlanta, Georgia, because that was when I had to accept that you know I might not be able to make my dreams of going as far as I can in hockey as a player, but there was bigger and better opportunity to be found even with this injury. Like a lot of people when they first get hurt and whatever, they get very like down and they are like, oh, why me, you know? And uh everybody goes through those moments when they first get hurt, but I still, you know, believe that I was gonna do something great, regardless of what injury or what I had to deal with.

Speaker 55:27

Yeah, yeah, that's so uh that's so powerful and impactful. And it and it kind of rings true. Like your your injury and your adversity is unlike anything else that I've covered on on my show before. But in everyone's personal moments of you know despair or you know, down fortune, whatever you want to call it, it it seems to be like that place in their time, when and if they get through it, is like the turning point of something, right? It's like the becoming of something new or it's like better. And and you know, I'm sure you wouldn't have wished that injury on yourself again, but it seems like you're in such a great spot with where you're at with it and your recovery and like what you're maybe potentially able to do with the impact of others and sharing your story. Like, do you see it as being a grander thing now?

Speaker 2 56:14

Yeah, I I want to be able to show like positivity. I want to be able to speak to these people and help raise money and uh help like spread positivity throughout the world, and that's kind of what I want to do now. You know, I want to be a coach and stuff, but there's there's bigger things than just being a hockey player too. People think, you know, once hockey's done, that you know, it's just gonna be terrible. But I know that, and this is what FCA hockey teach me and Tommy is that there is better things than just hockey. And a lot of people don't think like that. They kind of just they worship and they worship hockey in a way, and I'm sure you've gone through it.

Speaker 57:02

Yeah, I have. I mean, hockey's obviously was a huge part of my life and still is a big part of my life. Uh yeah, and some guys have a really hard time leaving it, you know, when they retire for sure, because they identify as being a hockey player. Uh, fortunately for me, I didn't identify as being a hockey player. I was always interested in a bunch of stuff and curious about a bunch of stuff. And and I kind of share your, you mean you mentioned about you know always being able to get better. Like, I I've kind of held that own personal philosophy as that's what I think we're here to do. Like, I think one of our obligations as humans is to try and be the best we can be and try to improve and you know, evolve essentially. And so, you know, with that attitude, like leaving hockey, I was like, well, now what? You know, like what am I gonna do now? What am I gonna conquer now? What am I gonna try and be great at? And um, and yeah, so my transition was a little bit easier. And I think that uh, you know, it sounds like your philosophy has obviously helped with where you're at too, because you're just you're trying to get better now, you're trying to make a new impact. Now we've changed our goal a little bit, right? Changed our sights, uh, but we're still striving. Exactly, man. Yeah, I love that. Do you have are you a goal setter? Like, is that how you like to operate? Do you have little micro goals or mini goals that you're sitting on right now that you're you're trying to move forward towards?

Speaker 2 58:15

So, yeah, I actually um I I realized that I set a goal and you know, I set like that really big far goal. So, like that big far goal for me at this moment is to you know be able to walk on my own and live independently. But I always it's extremely hard because I we always look at the far goal, right? And getting to this far point first, when we don't look at, you know, being able to lift your right hand up or lift your left hand up or being able to breathe on your own. We don't really look at those. So that's kind of like the way that like micromanaging these like little tiny goals. And that's kind of how I've lived, you know. Like, oh, if I shop pucks for this amount of time, you know, it's gonna make me a better hockey. If I stick in over this, you know, it's gonna make me better. So it's like all these little goals. Oh, if I ate right, it's everything.

Speaker 59:10

Right. I I I've I've been following you a little bit, and you've all like you are walking, like you had uh, I don't know the right words, but like you know, uh a push kind of walker enabled thing with with your aid behind you. Now I've seen you're using arm arm kind of crutches, which is uh obviously a next step. Like it is was was those parts of the micro steps that you wanted to do, like as far as getting to the idea of walking with without.

Speaker 2 59:37

Um that's a tough question because even when I was in the hospital, I always thought, oh, I want the big goal, you know. And it was tough. So what I would do is uh talk to my parents. Sometimes I would even call people to help me reach out to people, and that's what helped. But uh I don't really know to be honest with you, man. It's kind of a hard, hard topic for me.

Speaker 1:00:06

Yeah, I believe it. What is the next step like for you? Like what is the next little micro goal that you're gonna celebrate that you're looking forward to to push to push towards?

Speaker 2 1:00:15

Um, being able to like move my right hand, like open and close it. So originally I'm right-handed, right? Yeah, so I've you know wrote with my right hand, but I've had to learn my left hand came back first, so I've had to learn how to like write with a pencil again.

Speaker 1:00:32

Oh, okay. So you want to get more uh uh more dexterity in the right hand is the next is the next goal, more strength and dexterity. Cool. And so for you, what is that with that being your goal and that being your mindset, what does that look like for you, a guy that does the work, wants to get stuff done? Is it just physical work? Is there mental work involved in that as well?

Speaker 2 1:00:50

Yeah, there's definitely mental work and knowing that every single day, you know, you're gonna have struggles with opening your hand. So I would just, you know, try to use it every day, right? Try to, you know, brush your teeth with it with your right hand again. Try to like even like spray or like drink water with it, lift my water bottle up. That's how like I know that I would be getting better at it. Because it's not every single day you have to be doing extremely hard things, right? You can just be doing simple things, and you'll be doing your therapy essentially. So that's where it comes in, as you know.

Speaker 1:01:27

Yeah, so there's life skill stuff that you're gonna be doing, like uh you're talking about there's probably like some strength work that your PT does. I don't know what that would be, I would imagine, right? Maybe squeezing things or something like that that you can like almost like your puck shooting, I guess is what I'm thinking, you know. Like go shoot 500 pucks, someone tells you to go squeeze the tennis ball for 300 times, and I bet you you're doing it for six if that's your next little goal, right?

Visualization Tool And Mental Recovery

Speaker 2 1:01:48

Yeah, it's uh it's definitely a lot harder to be disciplined to do it, you know, because in at this moment I I um prepare myself for my future. So if I don't end up doing my therapy, you know, I'm hurting myself for my future, right? And that's how I like to look at it as well, you know. Yeah. Do you use visualization at all? I do.

Speaker 1:02:15

Do you use it like as a tool?

Speaker 2 1:02:17

Yes, I did before my injury. But you don't use it, you haven't used it since though. I haven't really tried, to be honest. Wow, interesting. Well, talk to me about before the injury and and what you liked about it. So I really liked visualization in the morning when everything was calm. So before games, I'd wake up early sometimes, and I would sit there and I would just like meditate, and I could visualize because everything was so calm. It was like everything was just way easier to like envision the game and envision what like I'm doing. So I remember I would have like a routine where I would focus on my breathing and I would visualize myself playing the game and like stick handling. It wasn't necessarily like big hits or scoring a goal, you know, it's just like doing the little things. That's how visualization helped me. And I kind of I should actually incorporate it a little bit now, right? But it it does not feel the same as what it did. Yeah, I hear you. So do you do you ever see yourself walking again? Like, do you see that in your mind's eye? Yes, I actually get dreams about it. It even before my injury, too, when I was playing hockey, I'll get dreams about playing hockey, which is kind of crazy. I still have those dreams to this day, but I do envision myself sometimes, you know, being able to walk, right?

Speaker 1:03:36

You know, yeah. Well, so then you are you are visualizing a little bit then, right? Have you heard of the name Aaron Volpatty? Have you heard that name? I have not. So Aaron Volpatty was an NHLer um that played in my hometown junior, uh, and he was a burn victim one year at a post uh year-end party. Uh got some gas uh on the wrong spots, and I don't know what the percentages, but like it's very high percentage of burns, like three-degree burns to a very high percentage of his body. And he was in the hospital in Vancouver, and this was like you know, end of a hockey season, right? And uh he was going into his last year of junior uh and he wanted to get a scholarship to uh to hopefully an NCAA division one school. That was his big dream. And there he was lying in hospital, not being able to move. And and then you know, the doctors were saying that hey, he would never never play hockey again, you know, he would never be able to accomplish his dreams and he'd be lucky if he could walk and all these things. And uh, anyways, he was in the starting lineup for opening day the next year, and uh and anyways, like went through a ton of stuff, but he he speaks, and I I I want to connect you two because he talks about how he used visualization to help heal himself almost. Oh, I can actually I know what you're talking about now. Yeah, like he he he he like in and he would see himself like playing the game and he would see his his cells recovering, and he would because he couldn't do anything, right? Like he was kind of like you at the time, you know, he wasn't paralyzed, but he couldn't move because he was so restricted from the the the the uh skin grafts and everything else, right? Oh man, he couldn't move and he was in excruciating pain, so all he had was his mind. And anyways, he he's like uh he developed kind of this process that he said like that was great for him, and and he not only went on to you know get a scholarship that year, and uh he ended up playing in the NHL, and uh and he just he just puts a lot of it to uh to his mental work, which obviously I find really interesting because I'm very I I like the mental side too. So, anyways, I'd love to connect you guys, but I I'm sure your mind is a powerful influence, Jackson. I'm sure you do know that whether you're actively like visualizing or not, but just your percept your perspective and your intention, uh, I I think is is is my gun. It's it's serving you very, very well. Uh yeah. I believe uh would you say that that is one of the biggest pieces of your recovery today?

Speaker 2 1:05:52

Yeah, so I have an example of this too. So I didn't get any of the pain meds, right? Yeah. And one of them was I was visualizing myself not having pain in my legs, which is funny enough. I told myself that oh I don't need the meds. I don't need the nerve pain meds, even though I can feel this neurological like pain, it's really bad. But I told myself, Oh, you know, I don't believe it's there. And that that's not really like the same way as visualization. Maybe it is, but I remember telling myself and visualizing there being no pain.

Advice For Athletes On Bad Days

Speaker 1:06:28

Right. Yeah, well, I mean, I guess that's yeah, that's the power of the mind, I guess, right? I mean, really, you call it what you want, but you're you're essentially controlling that response, right? And and make giving yourself a way to deal with it, I guess, right? That was really a coping mechanism, I guess, at the end of the day, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, holy smokes. Um, is there anything out there like you know, you've you've been dealt this adversity, you are finding a way through it, you're making an impact with with with what you're doing. Uh, is there any message out there to, you know, which isn't even comparable? And that's why I want to make it very obviously not comparable. But you know, a down day for a kid at CDA might be not being on the power play and playing nine minutes that night, and they think that the world's over, you know. Like, is is there any do you have any advice for someone that that's maybe going through something in their mind right now, um, that they're trying to get through that doesn't even come close to what you've gotten through? Like, what can you give them for advice? Is it perspective?

Speaker 2 1:07:32

Yeah, you can look at it in any way, right? You can look at it as this person, you know. I like to look at it at from this person did work harder than me, you know, and I should be like try to get better. And there's also people behind me that are trying to take the same spot that I'm in right now. Right. That's the best way that I can put it. And once you're able to get through that and you are able to get on the power play, that is the best feeling. Like when I first moved my leg, it was the greatest feeling because you know, all the doctors told me, Oh, you're gonna be like that forever. So me being able to move my leg just a little bit was extremely like good, and it made me stronger. Like one time, even like with hockey, it made me stronger, like in a way, like with adversity, every single thing that's thrown at you and you overcome, you became it's like an achievement.

Speaker 1:08:34

Yeah, you grow the cowlous, right? You you you get stronger, you have a greater belief. Uh, is there when it comes to the idea of I don't know, like this journey that you're on, like what is there what what what's the end for you? Is is it walking? Is it like what's what's the ultimate goal? Do you want to be behind a bench someday? Where does it where do where do you see yourself?

Foundation Plans And Helping Others

Speaker 2 1:09:02

So every day I do take it from now on, I do kind of take it in um living in the moment a little bit. But my end goal would be to be able to make change the world. That's kind of what I've always told myself, you know, to change the world. And I've told my parents this, you know, I told them, even if it's not hockey, that I want to be able to change the world. So I've kind of like put myself out there.

Speaker 1:09:30

Just a small one.

Speaker 2 1:09:31

I've kind of put myself out there to like help people that like suffer with paralysis, even if you know, obviously I want to become a coach, I want to do all this, but I do really want to help people in the world that are like going through something like this.

Speaker 1 1:09:46

Right.

Speaker 1:09:46

Yeah, that's noble. Uh a word I just wrote down, and and I can't believe I haven't used it yet. Uh, but you are somebody that seems grateful. And and sometimes it's hard to be grateful uh in moments where we are down, right? Because a lot of times we think about what we don't have or what we can't do or the ice time we're not getting if we want to use a hockey parallel. Uh, do you find that gratitude is a piece of of your daily routine? Have you developed uh kind of a skill of gratitude?

Speaker 2 1:10:16

In a way, yeah. I will kind of judge myself and compare myself sometimes to others around me and like, oh, this person's able to walk, you know. And then I look at it now and I'm like, there's people behind me that are on a ventilator, like they're never gonna be able to move their things ever again. And sometimes, you know, I might be you know just talking to friends and be like, oh, I'm struggling with this, but they they always try to bring me up, and that's how I look at it. That's how I have become so grateful. And I still struggle. I'm like, gosh, why is this right hand not working?

Speaker 1:10:59

Right, right. Yeah, I mean, and again, like you said, I mean, that's completely that that's completely natural and normal. Um, but I like I like how you talked about like it is what we want to direct our attention to, right? Because any one of us can can think about the things that we can't do, don't do, don't have, wish we had, right? And and and if we spend our time thinking in that space, how do we feel? Probably pretty depressed, you know, probably you know, unvalued, you know, all these things can come up. But if if we if we consciously choose to think about what we have, you know, whether it be your parents, your friends, your family, the use of your left hand, the fact that you can breathe, you know, there's there's things to do there, but it I think sometimes we have to be conscious about it because it's not natural, you know. Like I think we it's a good practice to be conscious to be grateful. Um, I don't know. You seem to come by it very, very naturally, and that's why I was wondering if uh what you had what your thoughts were on it with with gratitude. Yeah. Is there um is there a way that with what you're doing? I I think there was a GoFundMe at the start. Like, is there a way that people can support you? Uh, or is there a need for people to support you now at this stage? Is there a way people can help?

Closing Thoughts And Donation Note

Speaker 2 1:12:12

Yeah, so we were thinking about starting our own foundation to help people, and we're gonna put uh all the money towards the paralysis community, and we want it to go into the right hand, and that's kind of where we're at. That's the best way. I don't want to promote myself for you know, I have this go fund me and all this money was raised, and you should help me, but I want to be able to help those people, you know.

Speaker 1:12:38

I'm not only looking at myself, right? And so you're in a position now, not where you can accept donations for that for that uh place, or can you? Yeah, we can we can 100% like accept them, but we want to give back. So right. Okay. So is there something that you can tell listeners right now, like where they can uh if they choose to give a donation to your foundation, what that where where that would be or how that works? Uh can I get can I get uh let me talk to my parents about this before we know what you have to and and and I can put it in the show notes too. I can put it in the introduction so we don't have to we don't have to do it right now, but I'll definitely get it from you. So for you there, I'll I'll put it in the outro if anybody's interested in supporting Jackson and his foundation. Uh we'll make sure you you know how to how to do that. Um is there anything uh as far as advice, uh anything you would want to share that we haven't covered before I sign off?

Speaker 2 1:13:30

Just uh always always chase your dreams, you know. I you hear that one always a lot, but I've seen players on my high school team that wish they always tried harder. And I never wanted to live with that regret. Because it was my dream tip, and I tried as hard as I could, and I'm I know I'm not gonna have that regret.

Speaker 1:13:51

Yeah, yeah. And what's the worst thing that happens if you don't get the actual dream?

Speaker 2 1:13:55

Uh hopefully not this, you know, but you'll just you'll be you'll be in the same spot basically, essentially.

Speaker 1:14:04

Well, except for what remember we talked about earlier?

Speaker 2 1:14:07

Oh yeah, you gotta be grateful.

Speaker 1:14:09

Well, and that you prove to yourself that you're willing to put it all out there, right? Like that's that's something really to be proud of, you know, like that I'm willing to go 100%. A lot of people aren't. A lot of people aren't willing to do it because maybe they might fail, right? But the idea is, well, what does failure mean? I don't know what that means. I know that you ended up better than you than you started with hockey, right? Because of the time you put in, right? So you you improved your skill, you got better, you saw yourself get to the power play, you saw yourself score that one timer goal that you probably wouldn't have been able to score 12 months earlier, right? Like that's progress, and I think the progress should be celebrated. So uh I think that's awesome advice. Yeah, I mean, go chase it, chase it hard, and uh, you know, wherever the heck you end up, it's gonna be farther along than where you started, and that's growth, and that's something to be proud of, right? Yes, 100%. Well, Jackson, I'm glad we had a chance to talk. Um yeah, it it really has been an honor. I'm super proud of everything that you're doing, and and uh and I know you have a great message to share. Uh, I don't want you to feel the burden of that message because I know you're just a young kid, right? But uh you're you're doing the best you can, and I think that you know that your light is very obvious and it and it fills me up. So keep doing what you're doing. Um, and uh, you know that you know there's a lot of support out here in Cordelaine for you. You get talked you talked about a lot out here.

Speaker 2 1:15:30

I mean, even though this happened to me, I I'm still like rooting for you guys, you know. Like I can we're in the playoffs, man. We're in the tier one playoffs. I saw that.

Speaker 1:15:41

We're doing it. First time in academy history. So we're gonna try and do you guys proud. Awesome. Well, you keep doing what you're doing. Uh, you have my number now, so don't be shy to reach out whenever you want. Um, anyway, we can help uh promote you and promote what you want to do, by all means let me know. I'd be happy to get on board.

Speaker 2 1:15:56

Yes, no problem. Thank you.

Speaker 1:16:04

Well, thank you for being with me for this episode with Jackson Drum. What a fantastic young man Jackson is. I think that came through loud and clear, and you know how honest and authentic he was, you know, with being a bit nervous being uh being his second ever podcast. And I thought he did uh I thought he did a great job. And uh we were able to tell his story the the best that we could and uh got a lot got a lot of perspective out of out of young Jackson and uh I really appreciated the time that he spent. And for any of you that do want to donate to Jackson and help contribute to his comeback and to his big goals and dreams, um we will be adding his uh donation link into the show notes. It's a little long to read out here, and I don't think you'll be able to write it down. So we'll add it to the show notes, and by all means, uh if you if you uh have some dollars to spare, what a what a great kid to give it to. As I as in his own words, he he wants to help change the world, and uh and I believe him. So if he can accomplish what he's accomplished to date, I'm sure those dreams are not that far away as well. So, Jackson, thank you so much for spending your time with us today and for everyone listening. Uh, I appreciate uh the listenership and I appreciate the support. And until next time, play hard and keep your head up.