371. 4 Holiday Money Traps to Avoid This Year

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The holidays are supposed to be joyful, but for many families, they bring stress, guilt, and a pile of credit card bills come January. In this episode, Brad breaks down the four biggest traps that lead to overspending and stress during the holidays… and how to avoid them without feeling like a Grinch.

Learn how to set boundaries, cut the pressure, and keep your peace (and your wallet) intact this season.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Holiday Pressure Problem
• 1:03 Mission And Free Resources Tease
• 1:43 Why Joy Turns Into Stress
• 2:33 Four Big Sources Of Pressure
• 3:16 Family Traditions And Costs
• 4:21 Kids, Partners, And Magical Expectations
• 5:33 Advertising Tactics To Resist
• 6:24 Social Comparison And The Highlight Reel
• 7:01 The “More Equals Better” Trap
• 7:20 Boundaries To Reduce Pressure
• 8:25 Predecide Limits And Budget
• 9:10 Choose Your Yes And Simplify Gifts
• 10:20 Limit Triggers And Pause Before Buying
• 11:14 Presence Over Perfection
• 11:45 CTA: Simplify My Money Newsletter
• 12:15 Closing And Where To Connect

Transcript

Brad Nelson: 0:00

Hey, so have you ever noticed how the holidays can feel like this mix of joy and excitement, but also a lot of stress? Like you want it to be meaningful and memorable, but somehow the pressure, man, it creeps in the gifts, the expectations, the shopping, the shoulds. And before you even realize it, the season starts running you instead of the other way around. So today, on this episode, we're going to be talking about how you can take that pressure off, slow it down, protect your peace, protect your finances while still enjoying the park of the holidays that actually matter.

Announcer: 0:34

You're listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast with Brad Nelson. Brad and his co-hosts experience the anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck before learning the fundamentals of financial success. They are now on a mission to empower regular people to pay off their debt for good and enjoy happier, less stressful lives. Keep listening for inspirational interviews, tips, tricks, and practical advice to gain financial freedom.

Brad Nelson: 1:02

Hey guys, welcome to today's show. My name is Brad Nelson. I'm the founder of Debt Free Dad. I paid off about $45,000 of debt. I've been debt-free now for more than 12 years. I've also been fortunate to help thousands of other people save and pay off tens of millions of dollars with the work that we do here at Debt Free Dad. Now, guys, after listening to this episode, if you are someone who is ready to take things to the next level when it comes to your finances, you want to break free from living paycheck to paycheck. You want to reduce financial stress. You want to build your savings and finally pay off your debt for good. But like a lot of people, especially when you're getting started, you're not sure what to do first. Well, we've created some incredible free resources here at Def Free Dad. We'll be sharing some details about how you can get some of those later on in today's episode. Now, guys, as I mentioned, the holidays are supposed to feel warm, joyful, connected. But for a lot of us, it actually ends up feeling stressful, rushed, and financially overwhelming. And the pressure doesn't usually just show up all at once. It creeps in slowly from family expectations, from wanting to make memories, from advertising, social media. And before you know it, you're spending more than you planned and feeling stressed out about it. Especially if you don't rein that in, now you're in January, like freaking out. How are you going to afford the holidays that you just went through? So today we're going to be talking about how to enjoy this season without overspending, without the guilt, and without feeling like you're letting anyone down. This is about protecting your peace and protecting the progress that you're already making on your financial journey. Now, here's where the pressure really kind of comes in. And I feel like there are four sources. You see, most overspending during the holidays doesn't happen just because the deals are just so good. It happens because the pressure is really high. It makes me think of that song, you know, that under pressure, you know, that song. That's what it reminds me of because there is so much pressure. And that usually comes from four places, in my opinion. Number one, you have the pressure of family and family traditions. A lot of holiday pressure comes from we've always done it this way. Now, maybe your family buys for every single person. Maybe there's a gift exchange or travel that ends up costing a lot more money. Maybe you grew up with certain holiday expectations and now you feel responsible for having to recreate them. Tradition can be awesome. It's great, right? It's one of the things that makes the holidays that much more exciting, but it can also be financially heavy. If tradition is causing you financial stress, anxiety, or resentment, it's okay to adjust it. You can keep the meaning without having to keep up with the spending and all the financial stress. The second area of pressure is your kids and even some of our partners. You see, we all want the holidays to feel magical. We want the smiles, we want the memories, we want the excitement. But sometimes that turns into just one more thing, one more toy, one more gift, one more little upgrade. And before you know it, the total is now hundreds of dollars more than you ever planned on buying. But here's what's true kids remember the moments, not the number of presents. They remember baking cookies, watching movies, they remember being together. This is the things that I remember. And we had a great Christmases when we were little, thankfully. But I don't remember all of the presents. I remember a few, obviously, but for the most part, I remember the feeling, especially that my mom made around the holidays and on Christmas morning. Not necessarily the price tags of all of the items. See, joy and that excitement, it's it's not bought, it is created in that moment. Number three, advertising, right? Man, as this episode airs, it's gonna be about mid-November. But a lot of us have already started seeing the holiday advertisements popping up well into early October, even before Halloween. The holiday season is marketing season full force. Companies spend millions and millions of dollars studying our psychology and our emotional triggers, and they use things like urgency, limited time offers, countdown timers, warm music. Even in some of the stores, they put the right smells in there, right? They have the emotion in all of their commercials, all designed to do what? To make us feel like we need what they're selling or what we have isn't enough or good enough. So if you ever feel like you're being pulled into purchases you didn't plan, that's not you lacking discipline. That's the system doing exactly what it's been designed to do, is to get you to spend money you didn't plan on spending. The key and the idea behind this episode is recognizing all of that pressure and that it's going to be coming. So you can respond and be prepared instead of reacting. Number four, social influence, probably one of the hardest ones out of all four of these. It's all that social influence, the social media, the perfectly decorated living rooms that we're gonna see, the matching pajamas, right? The huge halls of gifts under the trees, the big family trips, the look how magical our holiday is. Social media posts, right? You're gonna start seeing some of this stuff. Even if no one says it directly, guys, comparison shows up for all of us. And comparison always makes us feel like we need to do more, or it makes us feel like we're lacking, we haven't done enough, we need to put in more money, buy more things. But remember, you are seeing a highlight reel. It's not real life, all right. And your holiday doesn't need to look like anyone else's to be meaningful. And here's the trap in all of this: here's the holiday lie that we absorb. More equals better, more gifts, more events, more spending, more things, more effort. But the memories we care about most didn't come from spending more money. And again, think back to your own childhood holidays. You probably don't remember the price of a single gift. Maybe you do, but not many of them, right? You remember the mood in the room. You remember the laughter, the music, the sense of being together, right? Joy doesn't come from consumption, it comes from connection. So I just want to share a couple of boundary ideas that'll help you reduce some of this pressure. These boundaries, they don't require confrontation, they don't require defending yourself, they're just small and intentional decisions. So, boundary number one is predecide your limits. You guys know we already talk about this generally when it comes to personal finances, but before you shop, decide, have a budget. What's your total holiday spending going to look like? What's your gift list look like? Who do you have to buy for? And how many gifts are you gonna be doing? You see, when you've already predetermined and decided your limit, you're not negotiating with emotion in the moment. And guys, emotion is stupid. It will make us do stupid things, spend on stupid things. So having a plan going into holidays is going to be a huge, huge defense against a lot of this pressure that we're gonna be facing. Number two is choose what you're going to say yes to. Instead of focusing on what you're cutting out, choose what actually matters to you this season. Maybe it's one really thoughtful gift. Maybe it's a family outing, maybe it's a tradition that you love. Uh, maybe it's just a slower holiday season, peaceful Christmas morning, right? Maybe it's something relaxing. Because when you choose your yes, it becomes easier to say no to everything else, and you can ignore all of those other distractions. Boundary number three is simplify the gift structure. A simple framework that a lot of people have used, which I really, really like, and I I should start using this with my own kids, is I've had a lot of people, especially Roots members, who create this really simple framework for their gifts, especially when it comes to you know kids or even some family members, but they'll do like one meaningful gift, one useful or practical gift, so something that they need, and then one fun or experience type gift. Like don't make it a uh material possession, but making an experience. Go out and do something, right? This removes that whole keep adding things to the cart, or they didn't have enough to open type mentality. And then boundary number four is limit your exposure to the triggers, guys. A lot of holiday stress is environmental. So unsubscribe from things like your promo emails, turn off your push notifications on your phone, unfollow or mute any social media accounts that make you feel behind or entice you to spend money. Just limit as many of those distractions as you can because when you reduce what you see, you reduce what you feel pressured to buy. Let's talk about another big one: defending against advertising and social media pressure. Now, here's just a few grounding questions to use before buying anything this season. Is this aligned with my priorities? Am I buying this item out of excitement or am I buying it because I feel pressure? Do I already have something that does this job, or do I already have something that I could use to fulfill whatever this purchase is needed for? The other big question, too, is because like I said, January creeps up, then all of a sudden you're facing all those decisions that you made in December. Is will this purchase still matter in 30 days? If the answer is no, you guys, just walk away. Even a 10-second pause can break the emotional spending pattern. Heck, we teach the 24-hour rule. Now, again, I get it when you're in the season, 24 hours seems like a long time, especially when they're advertising these deals and these sales. It's limited time, right? You got to make your decision now. But man, just give yourself a little bit of time. Let that emotion die down and really figure out if this is something that you really need or if you or you're buying it out of that emotion. So you do not owe a debt to anyone in exchange for holiday joy. All right. You don't have to match anyone else's spending. You don't have to prove anything through gifts or activities. Here's the reality: presence is greater than perfection. Connection is greater than consumption. And your peace, especially less financial stress, is greater than the pressure that we're all going to be facing here during the holiday shopping season. So choose what matters to you. Protect your energy, protect your progress, protect your financial goals. And you can still enjoy this season the way that feels good to you. All right, guys, if you're ready to break free from living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, you want to build your savings and finally pay off your dad for good, but maybe you're not sure where to get started. Don't worry. We've got you covered. Simplify My Money is sent to you each and every Sunday through your email. It is your step-by-step roadmap to a better financial control. You're also going to learn some easy to follow strategies that help you manage your money effectively. It's also going to help you make stress-free money decisions. And these decisions are going to help you simplify your financial life with proven tips that actually work. And you're going to gain the tools and the confidence to tackle your financial goals head on. You can sign up for Simplify My Money by clicking the link at the top of the show notes. Thanks for joining us on today's show, and we will see you guys on the next episode.

Announcer: 12:15

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