Self-Awareness and Reflection Practices

Self-awareness is one of the most overlooked leadership skills, yet it impacts everything from communication and decision-making to emotional intelligence and team culture. In this episode, we’re diving into reflection practices that help leaders grow with clarity instead of just effort. You’ll learn why reflection isn’t overthinking, but leadership hygiene, how journaling can reveal patterns and blind spots, and how feedback becomes a powerful tool when you know how to receive it. We’ll also talk about identity work, emotional regulation, and a simple reflection framework you can use daily or weekly to lead more intentionally. If you want to make better decisions, reduce reactivity, and become the kind of leader people trust, this episode will give you practical tools to start the inner work that creates lasting growth.

Transcript

Self-Awareness and Reflection Practices

The Inner Work That Shapes Better Leaders and Better Decisions

Introduction: Growth Does Not Start With Doing More

Let me start with a simple question.

When was the last time you actually paused and thought about how you’re showing up as a leader?

And I don’t mean paused to plan your week.
 Or paused to solve a problem.
 Or paused to make a decision.

I mean… truly paused just to notice.

Because most leaders I know are really good at action.
 They move fast. They execute. They problem-solve. They carry responsibility well.

But what a lot of leaders struggle with isn’t doing.

It’s reflecting.

And the truth is, self-awareness and reflection are some of the most powerful tools you can have as a leader.

Not because they slow you down… but because they sharpen you.

So today, we’re talking about self-awareness and reflection practices. Things like journaling, asking for feedback, and doing ongoing identity work as a leader.

And I want to say this upfront: these are not soft habits.

These are foundational skills that improve your judgment, your clarity, your emotional regulation, and the quality of your decisions.

If you want to lead with wisdom instead of just effort, this conversation matters.

Why Self-Awareness Is the Root Skill of Leadership

Self-awareness is one of those skills that sits underneath almost everything in leadership.

Communication.
 Decision-making.
 Conflict.
 Emotional intelligence.
 Resilience.

All of it.

Because without self-awareness, leadership becomes reactive.

You’re responding to things without realizing what you’re bringing into the room.

But with self-awareness, leadership becomes intentional.

And here’s something I’ve noticed over and over again:
 A lot of leadership problems aren’t because leaders don’t know what to do.

It’s because they don’t realize what they’re doing.

They repeat the same patterns because they can’t see the pattern.

They react before they reflect.
 They make decisions under pressure without questioning their assumptions.
 They lead from habit instead of values.

But self-aware leaders do something different.

They notice themselves before they correct others.

They ask:
 “What am I bringing into this situation right now?”

And honestly, that question alone can change everything.

Reflection Is Not Overthinking. It’s Leadership Hygiene

Reflection gets a bad reputation sometimes.

People hear “reflection” and think it means overthinking… or being self-absorbed… or sitting around in your feelings.

But healthy reflection isn’t about getting stuck in your head.

It’s about learning from what you’re living through.

I like to think of reflection as leadership hygiene.

You don’t brush your teeth because they’re already clean.
 You brush them because you’re preventing problems.

Reflection works the same way.

It prevents blind spots.
 It reduces emotional buildup.
 It improves decision quality.
 It clarifies direction.

Because without reflection, what happens?

Leaders move from one situation to the next, carrying unresolved tension… and unexamined assumptions… and then they wonder why they feel off, or exhausted, or disconnected.

Over time, you don’t just get tired.

You drift.

Why Leaders Avoid Reflection (Even When They Know It’s Helpful)

Here’s the honest truth.

Most leaders don’t avoid reflection because they think it’s pointless.

They avoid it because it’s uncomfortable.

Reflection requires slowing down.
 It requires sitting with uncertainty.
 And sometimes it reveals misalignment.

And for high-capacity leaders, there’s often this fear underneath it all:

“If I pause, I’m going to lose momentum.”

But what I’ve found is the opposite is usually true.

Leaders who never reflect end up spending more time fixing preventable issues.

Reflection creates clarity.
 And clarity creates efficiency.

Creating Space for Reflection in a Busy Life

One of the biggest objections I hear is:
 “I don’t have time to reflect.”

And I get it.

But reflection doesn’t require hours.

It requires intention.

Five minutes of honest reflection can be more powerful than an hour of distracted thinking.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s rhythm.

Some simple ways to build reflection into your life:

• a few minutes at the end of the day
  
  
  
• a short weekly check-in
  
  
  
• pausing after a hard conversation
  
  
  
• taking time after a major decision
  
  
  

Reflection is less about duration… and more about consistency.

Reflective Journaling as a Leadership Tool

Journaling is one of the most practical tools for building self-awareness.

Not because writing is magical.

But because it slows your thinking down enough for you to actually hear yourself.

Journaling helps leaders:

• identify emotional patterns
  
  
  
• clarify thoughts
  
  
  
• process experiences
  
  
  
• recognize triggers
  
  
  
• separate facts from stories
  
  
  

And by the way… journaling doesn’t have to be poetic.

It doesn’t have to be something you share.

It just has to be honest.

Here are a few prompts you can use that are simple but powerful:

• What happened today that stuck with me?
  
  
  
• How did I respond emotionally, and why?
  
  
  
• What assumptions did I make?
  
  
  
• What would I do differently next time?
  
  
  
• What did I learn about myself today?
  
  
  

Consistency matters more than eloquence.

Using Reflection to Improve Decision-Making

Most leaders make decisions under pressure.

And sometimes they’re great decisions.
 Sometimes they’re rushed decisions.
 Sometimes they’re “I had to decide something” decisions.

Reflection helps you improve your decision-making over time, because you start learning from your choices instead of just moving past them.

After a decision, you can ask:

• What information did I prioritize?
  
  
  
• What did I ignore?
  
  
  
• How did fear or urgency influence me?
  
  
  
• Did this align with my values?
  
  
  

That kind of reflection builds pattern recognition.

And over time, your decision-making becomes calmer, clearer, and more aligned.

Feedback-Seeking as a Self-Awareness Practice

Feedback is one of the fastest paths to growth… if you approach it the right way.

A lot of leaders ask for feedback casually.

Or they ask, but they’re secretly hoping everyone will say, “You’re doing great.”

Or they ask, but they get defensive the second they hear something they don’t like.

Real feedback-seeking is intentional and curious.

It looks like:

• asking specific questions
  
  
  
• listening without explaining
  
  
  
• resisting the urge to defend
  
  
  
• looking for patterns instead of one-off comments
  
  
  

Here are a few great questions to ask:

• What is one thing I do that helps the team?
  
  
  
• What is one thing I could do differently?
  
  
  
• Where do I create confusion or friction?
  
  
  

And here’s something important: not all feedback requires immediate action.

Sometimes feedback simply gives you awareness.

And awareness gives you options.

Separating Identity From Feedback

This is one of the hardest parts of leadership growth.

Leaders often personalize feedback.

They hear it as a judgment of who they are… instead of information about what they did.

But healthy leaders separate identity from performance.

You can be a strong leader and still need to adjust.
 You can care deeply and still miss something.
 You can be capable and still have blind spots.

Feedback doesn’t define you.
 It informs you.

And when you can hold that mindset, you stay open instead of defensive.

Ongoing Identity Work as a Leader

Leadership identity isn’t static.

It evolves as responsibilities grow, seasons change, and life shifts.

But a lot of leaders keep trying to lead from an outdated version of themselves.

The leader you needed to be five years ago might not be the leader you need to be now.

Identity work is when you ask deeper questions like:

• Who am I becoming as a leader?
  
  
  
• What values guide my decisions?
  
  
  
• What kind of leader do I want to be remembered as?
  
  
  
• Where am I leading from fear instead of alignment?
  
  
  

This kind of reflection prevents misalignment between what you believe… and how you behave.

Aligned leaders lead with clarity and confidence.

Reflection as a Tool for Emotional Regulation

Reflection is also one of the best ways to regulate emotion.

Because unprocessed emotion doesn’t disappear.

It leaks.

It shows up as impatience.
 Or withdrawal.
 Or over-control.
 Or short responses.
 Or snapping at people you actually care about.

Reflection helps you respond instead of react.

You can ask:

• What emotion was present in that moment?
  
  
  
• What triggered it?
  
  
  
• What did I need that I didn’t express?
  
  
  

This builds emotional literacy.

And emotional literacy builds emotional regulation.

Building a Simple Reflection Framework

If reflection feels overwhelming, I want to make it practical.

Here’s a simple framework you can use anytime:

1. What happened?
   
   
   
2. What did I notice about myself?
   
   
   
3. What will I carry forward?
   
   
   

That’s it.

You can do it daily. Weekly. Or after a hard moment.

Structure makes reflection easier to practice.

The Compound Effect of Reflection Over Time

Reflection doesn’t create overnight transformation.

It creates gradual, meaningful improvement.

Small insights stack up.
 Patterns become visible.
 Emotional intelligence increases.
 Decision-making sharpens.

Over time, reflective leaders develop something deeper than skill.

They develop wisdom.

They know themselves.
 They understand others.
 They lead with intention.

It’s not flashy leadership.

But it’s effective leadership.

Closing Reflection: What Are You Willing to Look At?

As we close, I want to leave you with a few questions.

Where am I avoiding reflection because it feels uncomfortable?
 What pattern keeps showing up in my leadership?
 What feedback have I been dismissing that deserves attention?
 What might change if I slowed down long enough to gain clarity?

Leadership growth doesn’t start with doing more.

It starts with seeing more.

And the leaders who grow the most aren’t the ones with the most answers.

They’re the ones willing to ask the best questions of themselves.

Thanks for taking this time with me today. If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s committed to growing as a leader.

And remember: self-awareness isn’t a destination.

It’s a practice.
 And it deepens over time.