Whether we like it or not, we are all susceptible to co-dependency - the need to control another person in our life.
In this podcast, we offer the following insights on the various aspects of co-dependency, especially important when addressing what happens in families who are experiencing addiction at home.
You can't will this away
Our Western culture has us believing that we are the masters of our own fate and that we are the captains of our individual souls. The underlying idea here is that the "will to win" can power us past any obstacle, any barrier, any circumstance that keeps us from achieving some sort of victory.
We make heroes of those who have "conquered the odds", and indeed there are many who serve as examples of extraordinary efforts leading to extraordinary results. We are mindful of the fact that for every champion, there are countless others who never even come close. They, too, however, are deserving of praise just for doing their very best in trying to win, powered by the will to win.
We all agree that no one can predict the things that are out of our control: a world-champion racing car driver dies in a horrible accident, a famous actor dies of AIDS, a politician dies of brain cancer. We do accept that we cannot predict the unpredictable.
That said, our culture has great difficulty, however, accepting the concept of powerlessness. When we are faced with the statement contained in the first of the twelve steps of AA that states "we were powerless over alcohol...,” we reject any idea that suggests we have no power.
No power whatsoever is a bitter pill to swallow for those of us who believe that we have power over this thing we call addiction. We have no power over someone else's addiction or alcoholism, and this is the important thing to remember if you are not the one with the addiction.
The bitter pill of powerlessness, ironically, is the key to the door of ultimate freedom. We never thought that the key to victory was surrender. Once we accept the reality of powerlessness, we are liberated from our old, erroneous way of thinking.
The illusion that we could, will this away on our own had to be smashed. The lucky ones, the ones who have awakened, come to understand that it is only when we surrender our own self-will that we can get onto the path that leads us to healing.
Whether we like it or not, we are all susceptible to co-dependency - the need to control another person in our life.
In this podcast, we offer the following insights on the various aspects of co-dependency, especially important when addressing what happens in families who are experiencing addiction at home.
You can't will this away
Our Western culture has us believing that we are the masters of our own fate and that we are the captains of our individual souls. The underlying idea here is that the "will to win" can power us past any obstacle, any barrier, any circumstance that keeps us from achieving some sort of victory.
We make heroes of those who have "conquered the odds", and indeed there are many who serve as examples of extraordinary efforts leading to extraordinary results. We are mindful of the fact that for every champion, there are countless others who never even come close. They, too, however, are deserving of praise just for doing their very best in trying to win, powered by the will to win.
We all agree that no one can predict the things that are out of our control: a world-champion racing car driver dies in a horrible accident, a famous actor dies of AIDS, a politician dies of brain cancer. We do accept that we cannot predict the unpredictable.
That said, our culture has great difficulty, however, accepting the concept of powerlessness. When we are faced with the statement contained in the first of the twelve steps of AA that states "we were powerless over alcohol...,” we reject any idea that suggests we have no power.
No power whatsoever is a bitter pill to swallow for those of us who believe that we have power over this thing we call addiction. We have no power over someone else's addiction or alcoholism, and this is the important thing to remember if you are not the one with the addiction.
The bitter pill of powerlessness, ironically, is the key to the door of ultimate freedom. We never thought that the key to victory was surrender. Once we accept the reality of powerlessness, we are liberated from our old, erroneous way of thinking.
The illusion that we could, will this away on our own had to be smashed. The lucky ones, the ones who have awakened, come to understand that it is only when we surrender our own self-will that we can get onto the path that leads us to healing.