267: A Rainy Meditation to Reclaim Your Voice After Heartbreak

In this first-ever rainy meditation episode of Thank You Heartbreak, Chelsea Leigh Trescott guides you through a deeply Breakupward practice designed to help you confront the subtle, painful cost of staying quiet—whether in love, in life, or in your own self-expression.

Through this meditation, you’ll:

• Explore how self-abandonment shows up in relationships and your inner life.
• Witness the parts of yourself that crave love, attention, and validation—and learn how to honor them without losing your power.
• Practice reclaiming your voice, your boundaries, and your agency, even when it feels risky or vulnerable.
• Transform the ache of silence into a stepping stone toward self-love and clarity.

Inspired by the conversation in The Cost of Quiet episode — where we explore what happens when we suppress our needs, dismiss our instincts, or tolerate patterns that don’t serve us, this is a meditation for anyone who has stayed quiet to avoid conflict, to preserve a connection, or to feel “safe,” and is ready to step into a higher, more empowered way of being. Press play, tune in, and allow yourself to hear what your inner self has been quietly trying to tell you all along.

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: chelsea@breakupward.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

Transcript

Chelsea Leigh Trescott 0:00

Hey you. I'm like known for saying that. I'll never forget so long ago, 15 years ago, getting called out by a friend's sister. She was like, Chelsea said hey you. I think it's because she doesn't know my name. And that was true. I also don't know your name. Who's ever listening? I wish I knew your name, and I'm getting better at remembering names, but I do not know your name. So I'm gonna call you hey you because I think it feels a little more personal than hey everyone, as I normally do. And I'm trying to change things up here. In fact, I'm changing them up so much right now that I'm going to do my very first meditation for you that's inspired by the last episode, episode 266. As well as, I don't know if you can hear the atmosphere that's going on. It's a light rain, it's been raining a lot in LA these last two days, and I figured why not open the back door. I'm in a beautiful home that has this fantastic backyard area. And if it wasn't raining, I'd be back there right now with the fire on. But because it is raining, I figured why not do a meditation and maybe, maybe, maybe perhaps capture with this mic a little bit of that light rain that's coming in. I feel like rain can bring up a lot of emotions. It could feel romantic, it can feel melancholy. All of which, those two things, definitely bear with it emotions. And it can definitely be about releasing too. I'll never forget one of my guides saying, feel good, you should look him up on Instagram. Feel good the intuitive now on Instagram, actually. But if you just put feel good, it should come up. He was saying that we so often um kind of shelter ourselves from tears, from crying. You know, people apologize all the time for crying. And yet, crying is the body's way of releasing something. So actually, if we allow ourselves to cry, we're giving ourselves an opportunity to exist in the future with whatever is bogging us down, whatever is heavy within our body, within our soul, within our spirit. So crying actually allows us to lighten up our energy. So, yeah, the rain is bringing on many of those emotions, much of that desire to reflect and release. So I thought, let's do this meditation, let's do something different. Before we begin, I want to ground you in why we're here. In the past episode, episode 266, we explored something subtle but powerful. That's the best too, right? Subtle but powerful. And that was the cost of staying quiet in our relationships. I'm not talking about dramatic silence. I'm cutting you off, I'm giving you like the cold shoulder. Please ask me why I'm so quiet. And I'm not talking about shutting down either. It's that slow, almost invisible, again subtle ways we adapt ourselves, the ways we regulate into acceptability. Hear that again, the way we regulate ourselves into being acceptable, into accepting the situation we're in, the environment that we're in, the conditions we're under, but also the ways that we regulate ourselves, silence ourselves, so we are more acceptable for the other. The ways that we assume, or maybe we've been told what to do, what not to say, when not to go there, how not to be, or we assume we can't say this, we can't bring this up. So we are more accepted by the person. That happens so often in dating. So it's the ways we suppress emotion to preserve connection. Not connection to ourselves, by the way, connection to the other, to buy us time, to keep us there, to keep that person choosing us. In her new book, The Cause of Quiet, my last guest, Colette Fair, names what so many of us have lived. That emotional suppression is not maturity, it's often fear, dressed up as strength. Ouch. Like, for real, it's not maturity. It's oh my god, you've matured. You're so quiet now. You're really holding it all together. It's like, are you holding it together or are you holding yourself back? This meditation is your opportunity to feel that in your body, not to judge yourself. I always say, don't judge others, they judge themselves enough, and don't judge yourself. Because if you're anything like me, you've judged yourself enough as it is already. So now it's about judging yourself less, being with yourself more, stain for yourself, talking to yourself differently, which is why I think this meditation will help. So this is not the time to judge yourself. It's not to blame your past. It's just to gently uncover where you have been quiet in order to stay loved. And I say that, but often we're not even feeling loved, and yet we're staying. So the ways that you've been quiet in order to even get the chance at being loved. And then what it might look like to rise instead of shrinking. Rise instead of shrink. This is break upward work. So let's begin. Take a breath. The kind that lets your shoulders drop half an inch. If you can, close your eyes and gently ask yourself, where have I become quieter than I truly am? Not silent in the obvious way, not withdrawn, but softer, smaller, more agreeable, more contained. Let an image come to your mind. A relationship, a conversation, a version of you. Now, notice your body. Where did you start holding yourself together within that image? Observe yourself. Was it in your jaw, your throat, your stomach, your chest? Even those questions, those images jaw, throat, stomach, chest, they bring to mind like was it in your kiss? Did you withhold? Did you start holding yourself together, holding yourself back in the way that you're kissing someone? Try to see your body. Where were you withholding movement, withholding that gentleness or that spirit, that fire, that passion. Where were you holding yourself back? And place one hand there. Again, your jaw, throat, stomach, chest, maybe your mouth, place your hand there. That place learned something. It learned that silence, smallness keeps connection, buys you time, that self-regulation keeps you safe. That being quote unquote low maintenance keeps you chosen. And just for a moment, don't judge it. Don't judge past you. That silence was intelligent. It was. It protected you. I want you to whisper this internally. Thank you for keeping me safe when I didn't know how to stay. Pause. Now, as something braver. What did that silence cost me? Not what it cost the relationship, what did it cost you? Did it cost your liveness, your sensuality, your playfulness, your anger, your ability to ask for more? Did it cost you what you want at this moment in your life? Let the answer rise without editing it. And now this. Who did I become in order to stay connected? Did you become the easy one? The strong one? The one who doesn't need much? The one who processes alone? That processes with her friends, but not with the person dare I say you're giving your body to, that you're putting your heart out to? Did you become the one who never, never ever makes waves? See that version of you clearly. And instead of pushing them away, say, You don't have to work this hard anymore. Take a breath. Now we shift upward. Because break upward is not about collapsing into pain, it's about rising into integrity. Imagine standing face to face with someone you love. And this time, your body is not bracing. Your voice is not shrinking. Your needs are not being negotiated away before they're spoken. Feel what that version of you stands like. Shoulders open, jaw soft, spine upright. Repeat quietly. Silence protected me once. Truth will protect me now. Again, silence protected me once, truth will protect me now. Notice, truth doesn't mean explosion. It doesn't mean ultimatums, it doesn't mean proving. It means not disappearing. Now place one hand on your heart and one on your stomach and say, I do not heal by becoming easier to keep. I heal by staying with myself. Let that land. Your body does not need to brace for love. Your voice does not need to earn intimacy. Your needs are not a threat to connection. That one is big. Your needs are not a threat to connection. The solution is alignment. Take one final breath. Ask yourself, what would it look like this week to choose expression over suppression in one small moment? Not dramatic, just honest. Let that answer settle inside you. And when you're ready, slowly open your big, beautiful eyes. Hey you, you're back. This is the cost of quiet. Not the argument you avoided, not the relationship that ended, but the parts of yourself you muted to survive it. As we explored in last episode, episode 266, and as Colette writes so powerfully in the cost of quiet, suppression feels safe in the moment, but over time it disconnects us from our truth, our desire, our voice, our body, our love. Breaking upward isn't about breaking relationships, it's about breaking patterns. And if something resonated in this meditation, if you felt or you've been holding yourself, that's not change. That's awareness. And awareness is the beginning of rising. You don't have to be quieter to be loved. You just have to stay. Stay with yourself. Thank you so much for being here with me for something new. Ah, I hope you'll come back, and I hope we meet again. If you ever want to reach out to me, you can email me at Chelsea C H E L S E A at breakupward, B R E A K U P W A R D dot com.