Sometimes People Suck | Week 3

Sometimes People Suck – week 3  Needy People

1. Give the best  Answer.

When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Acts 3:3-5

Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feel and angles became strong. Acts 3:6-7

2. Stay Full

Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Later Simon and the others went out to find him. When they found him, they said, “Everyone is looking for you.” Mark 1:35

You can’t say “
” often if you don’t say “
” occasionally.

3. Don’t play God.

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7-8

4. Grow my capacity .

But as for me, I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; Lord, do not delay. Psalm 70:5

They aren’t projects in need, they’re people we love

My maturity level can limit my ability to help.

Discussion Questions:

When you hear “needy people,” what comes to mind immediately?

Have you ever been the “needy one” in a season? What did that look like?

Why do you think it’s so hard to love people who “take too much”?

What does “prayerful, strategic giving” look like in real life? What are signs that you are trying to pour from an empty cup? Where in your life do you need to say “no” so you can say a better “yes”?

Where might God be asking you to trust Him more with someone you love?

Thank you for listening to the Relate Community Church podcast! Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. If today’s message spoke to you, share it with a friend or leave us a review to help spread the word. To learn more about Relate Community Church, visit us at www.relatecommunity.com. You are always welcome here, and remember—you are loved

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

All right, there we go. We're not in darkness. What's up, relayed? Come on, everybody. Who's excited to be at church today? About five of you. We had a big party this weekend. And uh, if you're a part, where's the dream team at this morning? We had, I think, the best dream team party ever. If you missed it, I'm sorry. It is the one exclusive thing that we do, and uh the only thing I

Welcome And Dream Team Shoutout

SPEAKER_00 0:33

can say is get on the dream team because it's amazing. You guys are so fun to be a part of, and uh, it's incredible to see what God is doing through us. Um, good morning. I'm glad we're here. I'm excited that you're here, and I want to take just a second to say to all the people who are watching online how much it means to us that you've joined us and clicked in. It matters a lot to us, and we're so thankful to have you celebrating the goodness of God on this Sunday morning and opening up God's word together. Okay, how many of you guys are enjoying the series that we're in right now? It is it hit it hits a little close to home, I think. I'm enjoying it, but it also hits a little close to home because uh, like the the video we just saw leading in here is uh sometimes we're the ones, sometimes it's us. And um, so we're doing a little bit of both. We're looking at the people around us, and ultimately this series, Sometimes People Suck, week number three. The idea is that God has called us and asked us to love people, He has given us this job to do, the Great Commission. Go out and um we're preaching the good news, we're sharing the love of Jesus and we're teaching, we're baptizing people, but sometimes that's difficult because people are hard to love.

Why Loving People Gets Hard

SPEAKER_00 1:55

There are those people in your life and in my life that it feels like you get close to them and now, okay, I'm gonna love this person, and then all of a sudden it's just like they suck the life right out of you. And no matter what you do, it's hard. It's a hard job. That that's that's the job. It's uh it's a difficult task to do on a good day. And um, we've looked for the last few weeks, we've looked at bullies, we've looked at people who are manipulative, people who are uh critical, our biggest critics. We looked at that last week. This week we're gonna uh challenge ourselves a little bit deeper, and I want us to look at um I want us to look at I think a sensitive topic, whether it's you or whether it's someone near you, and that is there are people in our lives that are overly needy. There are there are people in our lives that need too much. I've thought about a bunch of different ways of saying this because it can be so um so heartbreaking sometimes. There are people who they are in need, we're all in need, but there are people who need more for us, they need more from us than we have to give. And so that creates a really difficult situation. And so I don't want to make too light of it, but I thought, let's just kick it off and start off with a simple idea. And I thought, um, I think for us to settle into recognizing if we're dealing with an overly needy person, I thought I'll give you some examples. You might be dealing with someone that is overly needy if every question turns into a 45-minute emotional documentary. You know that person. You might be dealing with someone that's overly needy if uh

Signs Someone Is Overly Needy

SPEAKER_00 3:48

their life has more emergencies than a fire station. You might be dealing with someone who's overly needy if they ask for advice, like it's free samples from Costco, but then they don't take any of your advice. Oh, that one that one landed in someone's You might be dealing with someone that's overly needy if uh do you have a minute never ever means a minute. How about if boundaries make them act like you just canceled Christmas? You might be dealing with someone who's overly needy. We try to lay down a boundary and all of a sudden feelings are hurt, people are upset, you've injured me, I'll never forget this. Finally, you might be dealing with someone who's overly needy if you need a nap, a snack, and a prayer after talking to someone. Now, if during any of those descriptions, someone's someone's face just came to mind, like this is that person. Listen, I I don't want to uh degrade anybody. I'm not trying to point down at anyone. The idea is that there is a way to love this person. The idea is that there is a way to love this person well and do it like Jesus would. And to fulfill our calling, the issue is that we all have some needy or extra needy people in our life. Maybe you're you've thought of who that person already is. I think there's a scripture that says wherever two or more are gather, there's a needy person. That's not what the scripture says. I'm just saying there is at least one crazy person in your group that you just think this person is too much. They are extra, they are over the top. They need, uh they either are in need of time or money or attention, or you name it, they're just always pulling and sucking the life out of me. So, how do we look at this this topic of how to deal with uh and love people who are overly needy? I think this is a um this this one kind of stands alone, even if we're looking at bullies and critics and uh people next week, people who are hypocritical. This one is diff, I think it's one of the most difficult because it creates a lot of uh internal struggle. I think in in the last two weeks, we would easily make a cut if we knew how. It's almost like, okay, if I could deal with my bully, if I just knew how. If someone's manipulating me, it doesn't have as much of an internal struggle as try, I want to love this person, I want to help, I want to uh pour into this person, but they need more than I have to give. So how do I deal with this? Because if I pull back and I say, well, I can't help you, then all of a sudden I feel guilty. I feel like I'm supposed to help you, but you need more than I have, and I don't know how to I don't know how to level this in my head or in my heart because my heart is uh I feel like compassion is driving me to do something, but sometimes helping someone or giving someone what they're asking for actually ends up hurting them and in the long run can end up hurting me. So, how do I square this? So I want to give you four things today. Um they don't rhyme, they don't all start with the same letters, but you're gonna have to dig in and take notes today. So if you've got your notes, go ahead and pull them out. They thought it was funny. Pull out your notes, and the first thing that we're gonna do, whenever we're dealing with this person who um

The Four Moves For Wisdom

SPEAKER_00 7:44

can I just say that it is possible to give too much? We said we use a lot of terminology the last few weeks. We've talked about boundaries a lot. It is possible for you to pour out too much and to give too much in a way that will hurt them and the way that will hurt you. So here's what we're gonna do. Number one, we're gonna give the best. We're gonna give them our best. So the first thing I need you to know is that we are gonna give. This is not me telling you, hey, just draw a line and don't give anything. If you can't give, then don't give. No, I mean we're gonna give, but we're gonna give them the best thing, not the easy thing. I'm gonna explain, I'm gonna explain that to you. So, what happens when someone comes to me and all

Give The Best Not The Easy

SPEAKER_00 8:33

of a sudden it becomes I become aware of the fact that this person needs something from me, I realize my emotions get involved, and then I start to react to their need. And my first reaction is usually, okay, what are they asking for? How much can I respond to it? And I and I'm emotionally responding. I think this is the key throughout the whole series is that I'm not going to respond emotionally. I'm gonna think and be strategic and be thoughtful and be uh I'm gonna be prayerful and I'm gonna give them the best thing, not the easy thing. Because the easy thing is this the easy thing is to give them what they're asking for or a portion of what they're asking for. So maybe it's a percentage. I can't help all that, I can't give you an hour, I can give you 30 minutes. I can't give you a hundred dollars, I can give you fifty dollars, I can give you twenty dollars. I can't give you all of what you're asking for, I can't give you the entire amount of attention that you're that you're looking for, but I can give you this. That would be the easy answer. But sometimes there's a deeper answer. Sometimes there's a better, everybody say a better answer. There's a better thing that I can give you, and it might not be the thing that you're asking for. It's and sometimes it requires that I pray about it, that I take a break and think about, be strategic. And I'm I'm like, God, what is the better thing that I can give here? You called me to give, you called me to love, and I know what they're asking for. X, Y, Z, but there may be a thing that God wants you to give them that's not on their list of needs. They don't even know they need it yet. So I'm not looking at what they want, and I'm not looking at my guilty feelings because I just I'm gonna feel so bad if I don't help them. Because if I don't help them, then they're gonna lose whatever it is that their need is asking for. They can't pay a bill this month, and they're I'm gonna get kicked out of my house and listen, I'm gonna not buy into the emotion of the moment. I'm gonna have compassion on this person. Maybe the attention that they have is that they may be crying and saying that I just need someone to talk to, and you're in a moment that you just don't have a moment. But what will actually help in the long term is prayerful strategic giving. I want to show you an example of this in the scripture that we probably all have read many times. In Acts chapter 3, when Peter and John are walking, they come to the to the uh the temple gate, and there's a lame man whom every day, his family or someone who cared about him, and every day he was probably picked up and carried out to sit at the gate. Maybe there were days where he slept there. He's camping out and he's asking

Acts 3 Hand Up Not Handout

SPEAKER_00 11:21

people as they come by for alms or can you help me? I need help, I need money, I need, can you just spare just a little bit? And watch what happens. When Peter uh when he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. So his need is clear. Sometimes the need is not super clear, but this this person goes right to it and says, I need money, I need to eat, I need whatever it is that he needs. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. So here's the first thing. I feel like we could take a long time here, but I don't want to take a long time here. The first thing is we can't just look away. I I can't just say, Well, I'm not gonna look at it because I don't want to feel a certain way. Then Peter said, Look at us, so he makes a connection. Hey, I have something for you. So the man gave them his attention, watch this, expecting to get something from them. He's like, Okay, I'm about to close the deal. A lot of times when someone in need, who is specifically someone who's overly needy, we encounter this person, they have a need. They have an they have this thing that they they have a box they need checked. A lot a lot of times it's um and and don't get me wrong, don't I don't want you to misread this this message because we are all in need, and there's moments where we all need help. There are moments, but I'm talking about the person who every time you're with them, they need the same thing. Or every time you with every time you're around them, you just expect, because you've come to expect, that the same need exists. No matter how much you help, the need still exists. They're in a perpet a perpetual state of need. Sometimes we look at this person and it's easy to see them as the need, the the thing that they want versus what they need. And I think this this number giving them the best thing, giving them our best requires that we we look past what they want and see what they need. I think that's very easy. Well, it's not very easy. It was easy for me whenever my kids were younger to look at both of my kids, and if they're asking for something, I can quickly determine what they want versus what they need. But when it's someone else, when it's uh maybe it's it's a different category of person, maybe it's a boss or an employee or a friend or a neighbor or it's someone who comes to me in it in a different light, and it's difficult for me to divide what the what is needed versus what is versus what is wanted. Because what he wanted was money, and that would be the easy thing to give. Okay, well, I just have a few cents, and here you go, and then I'm done. But that's not that's not what Peter says. Peter's and then Peter said in verse 6 silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. So we see the the line of distinction. There's something you want versus something you need, and I'm not gonna give you what I don't have in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Walk, taking him by the right hand, he helped him up. Everybody say he helped him up. He helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. There is a there is a a need that can be met with the people that are around us. That is, I want to give someone a hand up, not a hand out. Because somebody people just want to check a box, they just need the next thing, they're just they're they're on um on a specific trajectory that I sometimes have to take them off of and take me off of so that I can see, God, what is it that you want me to give this person? How can I help this person? In other words, I could give you what you're asking for, or I could give you what God wants you to have. But that requires that I separate myself and that I stand outside of the situation to have some godly, wise, strategic perspective to say, okay, God, what it what do you want to do here? The easy thing is to just give them a dollar, to just give them an hour to go sit down for lunch and then listen to the story and then just the time or the attention. It's to just do the thing that they want. But maybe God's plan is completely outside of that. And it would require you to change strategies a little bit. And so it means that I have to be led by the Spirit. I have to ask God, show me what you want to do in this this situation. Because what happens whenever a lot of times somebody comes up to me and says, Hey, I need this or else this. And I can get stuck right there in that place where I feel the way they feel. We're stuck between a rock and a heart place. I don't know how to help you. You don't know how to help you. This is bad. And but but the challenge is this that I have to be able to step back and say, Okay, God, what what do you want to do here? What do you want me to do here? What do you want me to say? What do you want me to pray? And I'll just tell you right now that an overly needy person is not gonna like this strategy. Especially someone that we talked about this a little bit last week. The person that you have you you already have a routine with them where they come and ask and you give and they go, and then it's like hitting snooze on the clock. You know it's gonna come back in a little while, but it's okay. What we are meant to do is lead people to Jesus and and watch their life be transformed. So, how can I get to that place? They're not gonna like the interruption to their want. But what is God's preference here? Now, can I just say that this sounds insensitive? It sounds like I don't care what you want, but when someone has more than I have to give, when you need more than I have to give, then I have to separate myself from my emotions and then ask God to bring about a lasting change in this situation that's a lasting help. What Peter, what Peter does is he lifts the guy up and he gives him something, he gives him the ability to walk, he changes his life forever. And what I am looking for in saying in your life and my in the lives around me, I'm looking for us to be able to speak to people. I remember uh years ago, whenever I first was learning what it means to be a pastor and how to talk to someone, someone said you need to speak to people's destiny. That's the first time I'd ever, what are you talking about? Speak to people's destiny. That means that I have to like get outside of my own, hey, we're having a conversation here and think about okay, God has a plan for you. How can I think about that plan? Let's plan for the bigger plan, let's let's reach for what God has. And I think this is me telling you that we need to speak to people's destinies, we need to speak to people's spiritual walk and their faith beyond just the thing that they're asking for. Because someone's ask, someone's want might be so small and so desperate, and so I'm between a rock and a hard place, and I don't know what to do. And this is the only thing that gets wait a second. There's more to life than this thing. It's out here. Let's take a step up and let's pull, let's zoom out a little bit and realize that God is way bigger than that little thing. Otherwise, what happens is in this conversation of well, don't be so insensitive, Pastor. Hold on a second, it's not insensitive. Okay, that type of thinking is like me telling you, hey, if you see a drowning person, you can't just swim over there and let them grab a hold of you, or else you're both gonna drown. That's not insensitive. That's me telling you, be strategic. Let's save everybody, let's save as many people as possible. But there has to be a strategy that's bigger thinking than just jumping out there into someone's problem with them. Because I know that a drowning, desperate person will gladly grab a hold of me and we'll both go down. And we can do it with the best of intentions, or we can be very strategic and wise, and we can we can help people like we've never helped them, we can love people like we've never loved them, we can have compassion on people in a way that Jesus would. And so addressing this is not insensitive, it's strategic. And we're drawing a line and saying, look, I can't meet this this need or this want, but I will help. I'm gonna do the best that I can. I I think uh before we move on, I want to tell you about one thing that happened in uh our church many, many, many years ago. It's probably been, I don't know, 15 years. Um, there was a a family, several families in the church. One of them was really struggling, and um they have two kids, two two um preteen girls

Helping Without Making Yourself A Hero

SPEAKER_00 21:16

and uh mom and dad. And there was another family in the church that came to us and said, Hey, we really want to help them. We have this idea that we want to have like a um this amazing, like um almost uh I it reminded me a little bit of a of a TV show where they just wanted to have like this huge, they wanted to come in and they wanted to buy them a Christmas tree because they couldn't figure out how they were gonna have Christmas. Um they wanted to buy the girls Christmas presents and they wanted to have Christmas dinner and they wanted to show up with it. They wanted to show up with the Christmas tree, help them decorate, and with presents, and with Christmas dinner, and be like, here we are to save the day. They had this whole thing in their head and in their heart and in Their mind that they want, and I had to say, hold on, wait a second. Let me can't lit list sit down. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I want to help you see something bigger. If you show up with Christmas dinner and and Christmas tree and Christmas presents, you're gonna feel amazing. You're gonna feel like a hero, but mom and dad are gonna feel like garbage. Because you're gonna you're going to you're gonna highlight that mom and dad needed rescuing. And then they can take care of their own girls, and you're gonna come in and it's gonna be spectacular. You're gonna feel great for a whole year, probably. But what's it gonna really do to them? There has to be this thing. Sometimes it's the guilt, or sometimes it's the it's not guilt, it's just that we have this reward that we get from helping people, and I have to put aside my own. Well, if I hand them, can't can I tell you all this? Sometimes, not all the time, so don't come ask me for it. But sometimes I have like $20 in my wallet. I rarely carry cash, but sometimes I do. If I just happen to have $20, I will fold that up, or if it's $40, I'll just fold it up and I'll just be waiting and looking. Who can I give this to? And I'm excited to give it to someone because I know I'm just praying, God, who are you gonna lead me to that needs this? Who got let's have an encounter that maybe when I hand it to them, I'll be able to pray with them. Maybe I'll be able to point them to Jesus, but sometimes the answer is not giving someone money. And just because just because that feels great to help someone and to give, sometimes the answer is to do is to be strategic and do it a different way. So I want I want to give the best thing, not the easy thing. Number two. Number two is we need to stay filled. In other words, I have to fill up and then pour out and then repeat. Because if I keep on pouring out and pouring out and pouring out, and then Pastor Jason asks me for help, and then uh Pastor Susan asks me for help, and I keep pouring out, at some point I don't have anything else to pour out. And then Jose, when you come and ask me, I'm I'm gonna have to say

Stay Filled Before You Pour Out

SPEAKER_00 24:13

I don't have anything. That means I have to refill. I have to keep filling, stay filled. That way I can give from full, not from I can pour out of a full cup and not an empty cup. Jesus poured out, Jesus loved people, he taught people, he healed people, he prayed with people, he did all he raised people from the dead, he was attacked, but watch what happens. And every so often he would go off alone and then what? He would get refilled, he'd pray, he'd spend time with his father, and then he'd go back out. And then he would go get refilled, and then he would pour back out. And then whenever after he'd poured out, he'd go refill again. He didn't just keep pouring out and pouring out and pouring out and pouring out. And yet I think a lot of times that's what we feel like we ought to do. Keep pouring out, or else I'm not a good Christian. Wait, that's not what Jesus showed us. He poured out of a full cup, not an empty cup. He had a rhythm of pouring out and then refilling. Watch this in Mark chapter 1, verse 35. Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went to an isolated pray place to pray. Can you see yourself doing that? Later, Simon and the others went out to find him. Watch what happens. When they found him, they said, Everyone's looking for you. You ever feel like that? Everybody's just looking for why were they looking for him? Because they wanted some things from him, they were ready to suck from Jesus. We need some stuff, Jesus. We need you to feed us, we need you to heal us, we need you to preach to us, tell us more about what you were telling us. Lead us, Jesus. And Jesus had to sneak away, even though that this is like whenever you're a new mom and a new dad, and the kids are running around the house, and you just have just about all you can take, and you just have to go take a bathroom break. You know what I'm talking about? And mom goes into the bathroom, and then all of a sudden, here comes the little ones, just fingers under the door, trying to say, Mom, where are you at? We need you. You'll be fine. I just need two minutes. This is like when you're in the plane and they tell you, hey, if the plane's going down, the mask will drop from the ceiling. What are you supposed to do? You're supposed to put your own mask on first. Otherwise, if you're trying to help all the kids, we're all gonna be in trouble. Your mask first, and then the kids. This is uh um another story that we've heard many times. A good Samaritan is a guy who's beaten. Um we we see this story of a man who's beaten and robbed and thrown on the side of the road, and here comes the unlikely good Samaritan, comes along and starts to take care of him, picks him up, takes him to a place where he can be uh cared for. And what what does he do? He says that he leaves money and says, Take care of him, I'll be back. He doesn't stay there with him. He says, I'll be back. Where does he go? We don't know, but I'm guessing, I'm speculating, that he goes either home to be with mama or he goes back to work. I got some things to take care of. Why? Because he needed to. I can give you money, but I can only get so much money till I have to go make more money. There has to be a line drawing. So write this down. You can't say yes often if you don't say no occasionally. You can't say yes often unless you don't, unless you, if you don't say no occasionally. Number three, this one's big. Don't play God. Don't play, everybody say don't play God. Everybody say, I'm not God. God is faithful, God is amazing, God is big enough, but it's insulting and dangerous for me to think that God can't help this person unless it's through me. That the only answer for this person who is desperately needy

Don’t Play God With Their Crisis

SPEAKER_00 28:33

at this moment, that the only answer for them is that I help them. If you don't think God can help them in other ways, then your God's not big enough. He God's the He's the power, we're the conduit. And if this conduit needs to take a break, he can use another conduit. And sometimes, just sometimes, we steal wisdom from people by trying to meet the need. We we steal growth from them, we steal maturity from them, we steal the ability for them to go to directly to God because we're standing in the way and trying to be trying to meet every one of their needs. I can tell you that. Okay, so we we've all had uh a kid, probably, if you have kids and they're uh older than 10, then you probably know the moment where your six, seven, eight-year-old son or daughter comes in and says, I have a project due tomorrow. And then you go for a midnight Walmart run to buy poster board or we're gonna build a mountain with a volcano. We have all had those moments, and you probably said, Okay, let's do this at least once. But at a certain point, you say, I can't keep I can't do Walmart every other month at midnight. I can't, I can't continue to do this. There has to be a learning curve where you say, You gotta give me some time. You that there has to be a development for our own kids that's very easy. But when my kids came to me at 12 years old and 15 years old and 18 years old and said, I'm out of money. I can't just keep handing them money because I want them to learn how to manage their money. Watch this, Galatians 6 7 says, Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked, a man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh from the flesh will reap destruction, and whoever sows to please the spirit from the spirit will reap eternal life. So here's here's the point in this this we need to do what we can, we need to help where God leads us to help. We need to be strategic and prayerful and wise, but then we just need to trust them to God. There are moments that there are needs I can't meet in this room. I'm not God. And so I just have to say, there if you're praying for someone, if if if people are asking you for prayer and you're walking away feeling uh so broken and so distraught and so upset and anxious and uh stressed out because I don't know how this person's gonna make it, you don't trust God with them. Part of your faith walk needs to be, okay, God, I'm gonna grow, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna trust you with them, Lord. Uh just like my kids, my kids are uh at some point they moved out, they grew up, they're on their own. At some point, I have to say, God, I trust you with them. I love this story of the prodigal son, and uh this is uh seems to be a recurring theme in this series that the son comes to the father and he goes off and squanders in his inheritance, and you know the story. He he goes to the city, spends all his money, ends up living with the pigs. You know what the father does? The father's at home waiting with grace and mercy, but you know what the father does not do? The father doesn't go pick him up out of the pig pen. The father doesn't show up and rescue him from the pigs, because if he did, then the son never would have come to his senses. The Bible says that he comes to his senses and realizes I should go home. I should just throw myself at my father's mercy. And even though dad has great grace for him and puts a ring on his finger and a and a robe around him and kills the fatted calf, he never would have came to his senses. There's some people that you're rescuing over and over and over every time they get to the pig pen. And you're robbing them of coming of them coming to their senses. Wait a second. I need to go to God with this. I need to return to my father. God has a plan for my life. You're standing between them and their father with good intentions. So rescuing is not always help. And this might be you having an older kid living with you, and you feel like you're always late for work or late for school, and you end up mom and dad being the alarm clack, hey, get up, let's wake up, let's get up, let me get you. You miss the bus, let me take you to school. There has to be a time where you trust God with this person. I'm not too proud to say that when um Angela and I first got married, we took us a little while. We had an apartment where we just had whatever we had from our whatever we could collect. I I think we were maybe 23 or so years old that we finally uh we had just moved and we were like, hey, this is gonna be the best house. This is it was a duplex, actually. Now we moved from apart an apartment that was above someone's garage into a duplex, and uh, we thought this is gonna be amazing. So we decided we're gonna go and take our credit card and buy furniture for the house, and all of a sudden we had a beautiful, uh, beautiful furniture for our house. But then we realized, how are we gonna pay for all this? This is this is a lot of money. We can't we we can't even pay the bills, and we made this um what seemed like an incredible deal. By the way, if this ever happens to you, let's talk about it. It was no interest for a year, and we thought, hey, we'll be able to pay it off within a year. A year came around, we could not pay it off. Um, and so all of a sudden we found ourselves in a situation where our bills were were, we were, we were not making enough to cover our bills and we're scrambling around for this caused us. I'm glad no one rescued us because it sent us to Financial Peace University. Shout out to Dave Ramsey. And we started looking for answers, and we start we started a debt snowball, and we started paying things, we started getting real tight for there there for a little while, but it changed the way we lived, it changed the way we thought, it changed the way we approached God and money, and certainly buying furniture. But it made us decide I'm going back and I'm never coming here again. There has to be that moment for the people in our lives, and it's not insensitive, be strategic and try to lead people to a wise place. Number four, and we'll close with this one, is I have to grow my capacity. We said from the very beginning, the answer is to not, the answer is not to not give. We're gonna give, but we're gonna give strategically. We're gonna give specifically and prayerfully and thoughtfully. I am going to um give the best thing and not the easy thing. And I'm also gonna stay filled and pour out of a full cup and not

Grow Your Capacity And Maturity

SPEAKER_00 36:26

an empty cup. I'm not gonna play God. And number four, I'm gonna grow my capacity. And so, with growing my capacity, I brought something to make a point here, and that is that I brought this little that's not great, but it's it's it's gonna make my point here in a minute. Y'all want some? No. I'm willing to share. I never would have thought that I'd get on stage and drink from a baby bottle. It is uh almond milk, so this is getting a little awkward. Um I think what happens is we come to church sometimes, and we're very much like Pastor, feed us, give us something. And there is not an expectation of growth. There's an expectation of just checking a box. I need my baba, I need my I need my milk, I need my my next thing. We keep coming back for the same things. And here's the deal we never grow our capacity for maturity, we never grow our capacity to help other people. We never we just can we just like stay in it. Would be like if we were born and we just stayed at two years old. Instead of um daily feeding ourselves with God's word, what we're doing is we're walking into church on Sunday morning and getting our 30-minute refill. And as a Christian, as a believer, I think it's this is the hard part. Sometimes we get to where it's not the other people that suck, it's us that suck. Because we're immature and we have hardly any capacity to help people. We have hardly, we have not grown in our faith, we have not grown in our um in our understanding of God's word. I think we have to start from humility and realizing sometimes I suck, sometimes I'm just a baby. In my ability to help people, in my ability to walk with God, in my ability to be a real Jesus follower. Watch this in Psalm 70, verse 5. It says, But as for me, I am poor and needy. Come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer. Lord, do not delay. Listen, all of us are needy, all of us are weak. This is not a message where I say, Hey, there's some needy people out there, we gotta do better. No, we're all needy, but how do I deal with the person? How do I help the person? How do I love the person that's overly needy and that's pulling too much from me and that expects more than I have to give? Without hurting them and without hurting me. We have to realize that they aren't projects in need, they're people that we love. I uh I went on a missions trip as a young man that changed my perspective because I thought we're gonna help people, we're gonna love these people, and I remember that we drove in, uh, it was in Mexico, and we drove into the city dump, and there was people living, probably 130 or 40, 50 people living at the city dump, pulling trash out, and their house, their little um shacks were made of pallets and billboard vinyl wrapped around the pallets to keep them dry. And I thought, these people have nothing. And yet, in the middle of all of it, we made our way around their little town in the dump, just literally walking on garbage, piles, mountains of garbage they were living in. And I thought, I am shocked, but we came around the corner and there was a made of pallets and billboard vinyl. Um there was a small, a little bigger than their houses, but maybe about as big as this stage right here. They had made a little chapel, and inside the chapel was um benches made from Coca-Cola crates with little random pieces of wood, like dirty plywood, across the two crates, made little benches for them. And they were they were all headed to the little chapel so we could pray and have a church service, and they were so grateful. And I realized even in that moment that these people were so needy, but they had some things that I did not have. They had an expectation of God that was so different than mine, it challenged my faith and made me in that moment. I'm like, I thought they needed. I just realized that I am the one that needs something here. We need to have our perspectives change and let God grow our capacity to be matured. Psalm 23 says, The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not suck. I shall not want, I shall not need, I shall not, and here's what happens if we become that person always just I just need God, just I need some more God, and we become that little toddler that's always looking for, I shall not want because I know how to feed myself. I know how to get the things that God has for me. I know how to see God's plan for my life, for your life, and I stop sucking so much, and I start realizing that I can also meet the needs through God and through faith. I can touch the world, I can change the world. The answer is that we have to carry each other's burdens. But I am not your answer, and you are not the answer for every other person. All of us are poor and needy and desperate for a savior, and so today we're gonna trust God with other people around us. We're gonna believe God to help change their lives and meet their needs. We're gonna pray for people and be wise and strategic. And so today I want I want us to pray in closing. And I want you to just maybe there's someone that God's bringing to your mind, and I want you to just say, God, I trust you with their life. I want I want us to submit them, hand them over to the Lord, and let Him give us wisdom. So let's just pray for a moment. We're gonna pray that God would mature us and grow our

Prayer For Wisdom And Trust

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capacity to. Be able to love people. Would you pray with me? Father, we thank you. We love you. We believe that you put us here to make a difference. God, we want to be a witness that shines as a light in the darkness around us. God, that you can bring about a difference in people's lives. That when people who come to us that are overly needy, God, let us have your wisdom. Let us be able to trust you with them. Maybe it's family members, maybe it's co-workers, employees, a boss, a family, a neighbor that lives down the street. God, we know that you have a great plan for all of us. So lead us and guide us and help us to not be caught up in our own emotion or our own guilt. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Would you stand up on your feet and let's worship for just a moment together?

SPEAKER_01 44:55

In our lives. So we pour out our praise. We pour out our praise. It's your breath in our lives. So we pour out our praise to you. It's your breath in our lives. So we pour out our praise. We pour out our praise. It's your breath in our lives. So we pour out our praise to you. All the earth will shout your hearts cry out. These balls will sing on the earth. All the earth will shout. Our hearts will die. So we pour out a bread. We pour out our praises the bread. So we pour out our praise to you. So we pour out our praise. We pour out our praises for bread in our lives. So we pour out our praise to you holy.

unknown 47:13

Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Before we go today, I want to give every person in the room an opportunity. Like that prodigal son that ran away and squandered everything and then went home to their father. I would invite everybody in the room, if you've never surrendered your life to Jesus, we are all that one that has more need than we can ever meet. And

Invitation To Surrender To Jesus

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yet He is the one that can supply that need. He's the one that can fulfill us. He's the one that can make our heart whole, that can make our life whole, that can lead us into life and life abundantly. But it requires that we surrender all to him, like the song we sang earlier. So today, if that's you and you're ready to surrender your life to him, would you just close your eyes right where you are? And would you repeat this prayer with me? Let's just give him our lives. Would you say this out loud? God, today I give you my life. Thank you for sending your son to die on a cross for my sin. So Jesus, be my Savior. Jesus be my Lord. Take my heart. Give me life. Forgive me of my sin. Make me whole. From this day forward, I choose to follow you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Alright. I'm glad you said that prayer. If today was your first time, I'd love to hear about it. I love you guys, and I'm looking forward to next week already to finish this series. We will see you. God bless you. You're dismissed.