13 || How I Created My Homeschool Mom Tribe (& You Can, Too)

 I went to an amazing Charlotte Mason homeschool retreat recently and am on such a high from spending my day with a few of my friends in my homeschool “tribe,” surrounded by other like-minded homeschooling moms, learning about how we can be better teachers and mothers to our kids. It dawned on me how life-giving this kind of experience is and how blessed I am to have an amazing tribe of homeschool moms. I know not everyone has that, and I certainly didn’t when I started, so I wanted to share some tips for how to find your homeschool “tribe!”

I’m going to share my story of how my homeschool tribe was formed and throughout this story I’ll be sharing tips that you can apply today to start building your own homeschool tribe!

I want to start by saying I’m very introverted, I’m not one to just go up to people and introduce myself, I am shy in social situations when I don’t know people, and this can be very challenging! So, don’t feel like you have to extroverted to have a homeschool tribe! I am definitely not!

Transcript

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So I went to a really incredible Charlotte Mason homeschool retreat a couple weekends ago, and I'm still on such a high from spending the day with a few of my favorite homeschool mom friends that are in my quote-unquote homeschooled tribe, and just being surrounded by other like-minded homeschooling moms, learning about how we can better teach our kids and mother our kids. And it really dawned on me just how life-giving this kind of experience being immersed with other like-minded, not perfectly like-minded, but similarly minded moms who are in the trenches, who are in the thick of it, some a little bit ahead of us, some a little bit behind, some way further than us, some way behind us where we're at right now with our kids' ages and what we're doing. But just having those relationships is honestly, I think, crucial to homeschooling, even if it's just one friend. And maybe they're not even homeschooling, but they're just a really good friend. But I think having a homeschool community, a homeschool mom tribe can be so life-giving, can really bless not just you and your family, but it can bless them and you can be blessing others through that. And I have shared a little bit about this on Instagram, and I had people reach out just saying, How do you even find this? Like, I don't know where to find homeschool mom friends. How did you find that? And I just thought I would share my story of how I came to have such an amazing community of homeschool moms. And hopefully through that story, you can learn some tips that might be able to be applicable to your own life, your own situation that you can do. And I just want to preface this by saying I am an introvert. So don't let that stop you from making homeschool friends. It's important for all of us to be in community, regardless if we're extroverts or introverts. It is a little harder when you're an introvert, admittedly, and I am one. Um, but it's not impossible and it's just as important for you as well. So I'm gonna share some of my tips in today's episode. Glue. It's messy, it's sticky, it gets everywhere, but it also can be really useful. For us working homeschool moms, when life gets chaotic or overwhelming, we don't need work-life balance because is that even truly possible? We need work-life glue. We need routines, tips, encouragement, and advice from fellow moms who are also living a working and homeschooling lifestyle to help us glue the pieces all together. I'm Sarah, a homeschooling mom to three little girls who is insanely passionate about helping other moms balance work and homeschool, and also encouraging moms on the fence that it truly is possible to do both. The Work Life Glue Podcast is for busy working homeschool moms to have a place to chat about this crazy beautiful lifestyle. It's also for moms who desire to homeschool but need an income and don't know what to do. I'm here for you. I share my own wisdom and ideas and also interview fellow working homeschool moms because we all have so much to learn from one another. We definitely don't have any time to waste, so come on in, get comfy, and let's get started. Welcome back to my podcast. I'm so excited today to share my story of how my homeschool tribe was formed. And throughout this story, I'll be sharing tips that you can apply to start building your own homeschool tribe if that's something you want to do. And if you're not homeschooling yet, or you know, there aren't a lot of homeschool moms in your community, you can also just reach out to other moms through this. Um, the key is to find moms with similar values, obviously not the exact same values, or you know, we would all be clones. Um, so it's it's about having people who will stretch you, who will grow you, who will challenge you, who will correct you if you're on the wrong path, perhaps. Um, and just learn about life together and grow together. I just think it's the most beautiful thing. Um, and I am just so blessed to have that community pretty much kind of by accident, but now looking, having to reflect on this journey in preparation for this episode, I realized that it actually wasn't just by accident. I actually did do some intentional things to meet people that kind of surprise me because I am introverted. But I think after doing daycare for five years and learning to, you know, get outside of my comfort zone if I ever wanted to have friends because I was stuck at home, you know, 50 hours a week or more. Um, it just really helped me see like if I'm gonna have friends who are living similar lives to me that you know I can be in community with, then I have to do some work to do that. So I'm definitely gonna challenge you in this episode, especially if you're introverted, that you are gonna have to get out of your comfort zone a little bit, but it will be totally worth it, trust me, in the long run, because eventually you will make some really incredible friendships. So I, like I said, did daycare for five years out of our home and met so many amazing families through that, both by interviewing and enrolling families, but also by getting involved in the local daycare community of other daycare providers. So there was an association that I would go to trainings at, and I also reached out before I became a daycare provider. I went on a Facebook group and just said, would anybody be willing to chat with me about what you do in your daycare? Just give me some pointers. And two different daycare parents, uh, daycare moms let me come to their daycare, bring my baby at the time, and just see how their program was run for like an hour. And it was so incredibly helpful. They were great lifelines to reach out to, you know, as I was building my program. And I ended up, you know, becoming friends with them. And through that, I also made a lot of friends because, you know, once you're friends with one person, they might invite you to things with other people. And so I ended up having a pretty cool group of daycare friends while I was in my daycare days, and that was really, really helpful. So it's really opened my eyes to the benefit of becoming friends with people who are living a similar-ish life, like doing something out of the ordinary that's the same. So we all were daycare moms. We're all had different age kids, different backgrounds, and things like that, but we all had that one thing in common. And I just really saw the benefit of that. I had people to ask questions of. Um, we got together outside of daycare hours. It was just so helpful to me, especially as a brand new mom, to have other friends to look up to, to help out when we need it, to get out of the house with and things like that. So um, when I became a homeschool mom, I really wanted a similar thing. I don't think I really thought about that at the time, but I knew, you know, I don't know a lot about homeschooling. I didn't know many homeschool moms at all. And so I had to kind of figure out how to do it on my own, and I really wanted to connect with people. So one of my actual friends from church who also was a daycare provider for a little bit, we had connected. I had kind of helped her like others had helped me when she was starting her daycare. And she ended up closing her daycare and then started homeschooling in 2020 when the pandemic started. So her oldest was in school and they decided the next year to homeschool. And so I got to kind of watch that journey unfold for her. And so that was a great resource for me when it came time for me to homeschool. And she was really my first and only homeschool friend that I had at that time. And so I definitely asked her lots of questions, and she was and still is such a good friend to me and such a great resource for homeschooling. Um, and I've made a lot of friends through her. So my first tip is to connect with anyone, anyone else you know that's homeschooling, even if maybe they're doing it a lot differently than you. If you know even just one person that's homeschooling that's in your Facebook friends group, or you know from church or you know from the community, reach out to them because honestly, there is nothing that a homeschool mom loves more than encouraging other homeschool moms. I promise you. Um, if somebody doesn't like doing that, they are definitely a rare breed because most of us want to help encourage others. And I have not yet met a homeschool mom who wasn't amazing and so generous with her time and advice. So definitely reach out to them, take that first step, and having that one relationship will give you the confidence you need to make more relationships. So after that, after we, you know, she gave me some tips, I decided I wanted to kind of figure out what homeschool philosophy we had. I was leaning very Charlotte Mason, especially after being an English teacher and loving literature. Um, but I wasn't exactly sure. And so, of course, the big co-op name in the United States is Classical Conversations. It's the one you can easily Google and you can find in your area. And so I reached out for more information and signed up. I knew that I probably wouldn't drive with that philosophy, but I thought the worst is we'll make some friends. And if it doesn't work out for that after that year, that's okay. But I just really wanted a community and I wanted to get out of the house, and I wanted, you know, just to kind of see what it was all about. And so while we did not stick with it after that first year, I met so many amazing moms through that. First of all, I just although I didn't love the classical conversations methodology, every single mom there and family there and kid there was fantastic. So I have nothing bad to say about that. I just did not, you know, mesh with that philosophy behind classical conversations, but the actual community was wonderful. And I met so many people through that. I actually ended up reconnecting with someone from high school who was a foreign exchange student from Germany in my high school and ended up getting married to somebody from high school and they had a child, and we reconnected because she was there too. It was her first year homeschooling as well. And so that was such a god thing that we reconnected and now we have lots of play dates together. Um, but also I met two different people from my local community who were homeschooling, and they also didn't really chive with the classical conversations methodology and ended up branching off with me to start a new co-op. So it was really, really cool how that all worked out. God was working through all of that and brought us all together. And so those three women are all part of my homeschool tribe. They're amazing. I talk to them all regularly, see their kids. Two of them are in my co-op. I see like every other week in book club. Um, we get together outside of all of that, and it's just been so life-giving to have them and to have met them. And what a cool story that just showing up to classical conversations, I was there for a year, met so many amazing people, and a couple years later, three of those moms are still very much part of my life and my kids' lives. So, from this, definitely I want to encourage you to get involved in some kind of organized activity or co-op of some kind if you can, somewhere where you think homeschool parents would be. So if it's uh maybe a homeschool choir or a homeschool um sport or homeschool event, homeschool co-op, something homeschool related. You can look on Facebook for homeschool groups in your area and join those groups, and then you can search on there or just ask, are there any homeschool events that are put on regularly? Are there any co-ops? And just join one, even if it's not like your exact philosophy for homeschooling. Obviously, you don't want something that's like Uber the opposite direction, but something at least you could still see yourself getting value out of. And then you're gonna meet people, and that's the key. But you can't really just walk around Target and hope you're gonna run into homeschool moms and make friendships. I mean, that could happen, but it's a lot higher likelihood that you'll meet homeschool moms and homeschool families if you're at a homeschool-related event of some kind. Even if you just go to an information night about a co-op, make yourself available. Walk up to people, say hello. Um, it's very hard for me, but you gotta force yourself to do it sometimes. And you will connect with people. And even when a small connection is made, be that person who reaches out and asks to get together. So you might say, you know, I saw you at that information night and I decided not to do the co-op, but you seem like right up my alley for how you homeschool your kids and they're similar ages. Would you ever want to have a park play date sometime or meet for coffee? Most people will say yes and would love to do that. So be the first person to reach out, even though it's uncomfortable sometimes. The worst that could come out of it is they'll say no or it'll be slightly awkward and you'll just know maybe that's not the right friendship. But the best case scenario is you'll be lifelong friends. So it's worth it. Um, so during that year of classical conversations, our tutor, like I said, um, was one of the people, I didn't mention that, but she was actually our like the leader of my kids' class. She ended up leaving, and we became really close after that. And so did one other mom of one of the kids in my oldest daughter's class. And so we, I don't know exactly how it happened, but there also was a connection between one of them and my original friend from church and who was a daycare provider. And so one of them invited me to the book club they had started. Talk, they were reading books about Charlotte Mason principles and philosophies. They invited me to that. So I started going to that like every other week on Saturday mornings, and they also invited me to do the nature hikes with them. So it's uh was a group that did nature hikes, it was kind of just starting at that point. Um, doing nature hikes and then doing a book club just for the moms. So that was really cool. We started doing some of the hikes. My my youngest was one then, so it was was and still is kind of stressful to go hiking, but um absolutely love that, and then started going to the book clubs and definitely saw that I am a Charlotte Mason homeschooler, and it was so cool to meet them. And then that group has just kind of grown since then, and as of two summers ago, two falls ago, we started our co-op together. So, what I want you to take from this is first of all, if there is a book club for homeschool moms in your area, you should join it. It can be so helpful, first of all, to really learn about homeschooling, maybe from different perspectives or to really refine what you believe as a homeschooling mom. And it can also just be so helpful to converse with other moms. We joke at my house, like I'll go off to book club at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday, and I'll come home around 11:30. And my husband, you know, maybe we read one or two chapters in preparation, and he'll say, So how long did you talk about each chapter? And I'll be like, I think we spent about, you know, 20 minutes on each chapter, but I was gone for three hours. So we talk about so much more. Like the chapters obviously we're discussing, but they're about homeschooling and about life. So it really leads to bigger discussions. We're asking for advice about certain situations with our kids, um, parenting, um, and just life. And it's such a beautiful thing. So if you can join a book club, do it. And if there's not a book club or not one that you feel like would be a good fit, then start a book club. Just go out on Facebook in a homeschool group, or if you have like one other homeschool mom friend, invite her and just say, you know, tell your friends or put a message out on a Facebook group and say, we're gonna have this style homeschool book club on this day, reading this book, and pick a coffee shop or a park or something and start a book club. And I promise you it will be life-giving. You will get a really cool community and it can grow from there, and it's just so beautiful. On top of that, maybe you could find a nature group to meet together. I think it's so nice to meet as moms individually, to get out of the house, to get away from our kids, and just really have that time to reflect and grow and um think about things in a different way, getting different perspectives. But I think it's super helpful also to have families that are friends. So their kids become friends, especially with homeschooling. Everybody's talking about socialization and it's such a buzzword, but um it can be a wonderful way to be out in nature, to be learning together, to make friendships with your friends. It's awesome when your kids are friends with your friends' kids, if that makes sense. So, like you can go to the park other times, like especially in the summer or warmer months, you can meet up and you can talk to the mom and the kids can play, and it's a win-win, um, and they can grow up together. And it's just it's such a cool thing to see. So having those mom friends, and plus, when you're hiking with other moms with kids of all different ages, you get to talk to them. They can help when your kid's having a meltdown. Um, we can laugh and commiserate when a kid or a mom gets stuck in the mud. True story. Um, and these hikes are just so life-giving and just a great way to get out of your house when you're a homeschooling parent and just learn in nature. So once the book club was going and the nature hikes were going, and I was going to those, um, like I said, the two friends from CC that were in my oldest daughter's class decided to also leave CC. Um, we all had decided individually and were like afraid to tell each other. And so, what a God thing. Um, and obviously, this is nothing bad about CC. It just, you know, we all realized this wasn't really what we wanted long term. And so we all left and now are in our second year of our co-op and it we're absolutely loving it. Um, that's another tip, is just you can start your own stuff. Like you don't have to wait around for somebody to create a co-op. I will say, like, I didn't actually create the co-op. A couple friends came up with the idea, came up with the framework, but then I was, you know, part of the group that met to discuss like who's gonna teach what, how is this gonna look? Um, and we all just do, you know, every term, we do two terms a year, um, like a fall term and then a winter spring term. And we do folk song, we do hymn, we do narration. So, like my oldest daughter, they're getting read to about Corey Tenboom, and then every so often they'll stop and ask one of the kids to narrate, which is a big Charlotte Mason principal. There's, and my younger daughter, they're reading Paddington. There's um the nursery for the littler kids. I'm in there right now, so I'm doing like Bible stories and crafts sometimes and singing and dancing and play-doh and snack and that kind of stuff with the littler kids. And then um the oldest kids are doing Latin, I believe, and science together before everybody comes. And uh we're doing composer study, so it's a couple hours long, but we pack so much in, and it's just absolutely beautiful to see kids of all ages learning together, and it's very inexpensive. We also do handicraft, that's a big one. That's one of the kids' favorite things, and so it's not fancy, it's simple, it's parent-led, very Charlotte Mason, and honestly, one of my favorite parts of homeschooling. So, as you can see, my tribe that I homeschool alongside, we do a book club, we do a nature group, we do um the co-op, and then you know, we text each other, we ask for advice, we get together outside of all of that sometimes. We I went to the retreat with a couple of them. So we're in community with each other often, and it's amazing. And I couldn't, I couldn't ask for something more beautiful, and God has just blessed everything that I've done outside of just homeschooling in my home. And I I'm so grateful because I'm not naturally an extroverted person, but all of these things just kind of happen because I took a couple steps of reaching out to somebody who homeschooled, and I went to CC and I was like, okay, I don't know anybody here, and I ended up knowing someone and then meeting people in my community, and it's amazing how those connections can grow over time. Another amazing thing about a tribe is that because you're doing life together, when life gets tough, you have a support and you have people who know how hard it can be to homeschool while life is stressful. A couple weeks ago, I did a podcast episode about homeschooling during a crisis, and I talked about how my dad was in the hospital for four months last year, and it was incredibly stressful and emotionally draining and incredibly hard for me to continue on with homeschooling, but I didn't want to stop. And I was so lucky to have my group of friends. Um, gonna try not to get emotional talking about this part, but um, when my dad was the first week he was in the hospital in the ICU, one of my, you know, my original homeschool friend texted me and said, you know, the group of us in my homeschool tribe got together and they put together a little gift. And she met me at the hospital, and I just I saw her face and I started bawling. And they had put together a little package and had some um parking passes and gift cards and a card. And I like I don't even remember all the specifics of it, but I just remember thinking, wow. Um, they came together for me. And um it's one of the most beautiful parts of my dad's story is just the people that blessed us through that and what a what it did to my heart to see and what I want to do going forward for other people. And so, you know, we've done meals for each other when a new baby comes, or if you know, one of my friends' husbands had surgery, we were all bringing meals, and it's just such an incredible thing to have people, not just during the good times and not just for advice, but just to be there, to be a support system when life is really hard, and we all need that. Um, we all need to be that and we all need to have that too. And it was um one of the sweetest moments of my entire life. Just um, it meant so much to me and my family. Okay, shifting away from tears. I I don't like to cry, but I couldn't talk about that without tearing up because I mean it was absolutely devastating and beautiful, all wrapped into one. Um, and I'll never forget that moment. It was it was absolutely gorgeous. So, my final tips for how you can create your own homeschool mom tribe. First of all, if it's not created, you should create it yourself. So if that's a book club, a co-op, a nature group, play dates, events where you guys go to things together, create it yourself if it's not already created, because I guarantee there's other people wanting that who aren't brave enough to do it or didn't think to do it or don't have the time to do it. Make time. Um, not for all of those things. Maybe they'll build over time, but just pick one of those things, something smaller, just reaching out to somebody. Um, also put out what you hope to get back. I've spent a lot of my life like wishing, and I think that's why when I started daycare, I just was like, I'm sick of waiting around for a group of friends that I can, you know, really grow close with. And I'm sick of like being an introvert and just wishing there were people reaching out to me. And so you need to put out what you hope to get back. So if you want friends who reach out to you, you need to be the first one to reach out sometimes. If you want to be invited to other people's houses, be the first one to invite someone over. Now, I don't mean like get taken advantage of here, I just mean be the first one to step out because other people might be too shy or too busy or what have you, or they're worried about their kid who has special needs or whatever. Be the first one to do that thing that you hope others will do for you eventually. It can take time, but honestly, all of these things really can be blessed. Little bits of stepping out and taking a chance can really go so much further. God can do such amazing things, even in really short bits of time or with little amounts of effort on your part put forth. I started my homeschool journey three years ago, only knowing one homeschooling mom. And now I have so many amazing friends who I can tell anything, who know and love my kids well, who I would bend over backwards for, who I adore their families, and who understand my life and I understand theirs. We pray for each other and we want the best for each other, and truly there's nothing better than that. So I hope this little story and just sharing the few things I've done that have led to a homeschool mom tribe that weren't necessarily like I didn't set out to create a homeschool mom tribe, but when you put forth a little effort and you meet new people, you know, it's like the the whole idea of networking, even if you're not doing that intentionally, you're going to meet other people through those interactions. You meet one friend and they introduce you to another friend and so on, and it grows over time. So I just pray you'll take one little action after listening to this podcast episode and that will be blessed and that you will make some really amazing friendships that will bless your family and you'll be able to bless others' families through this. Um, and if if this does help you, I would love if you would message me over on Instagram and let me know that because I I would love to know that these little podcast episodes I'm recording in my dining room are making a difference. So thank you so much for listening. Happy homeschooling. I'll talk to you soon. Thank you for stopping by my little cozy home here on the internet. I pray this podcast episode blessed your life and helped encourage you. I would appreciate so much if you would leave a rating and review. And why not share this episode with a friend while you're at it? Make sure to follow me on Instagram as well at Work Life Blue for tons more inspiration and encouragement for fellow working homeschool moms. And don't forget to add a little fun into your day. Happy homeschooling. I'll see you next time.