24 || 20 Things I Would Tell Myself if Starting Over Again

I’m definitely not at the end of my homeschooling journey – with baby 4 on the way I have another 18 years to go – but I have definitely learned a thing or two (or 20) that I would want to tell myself if I was starting again.  So, if you are new to homeschooling, thinking about starting, or just feeling kind of lost, I hope this episode can give you some tips and also offer you some grace as you chart new territory!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
- Things I Did That I Recommend Other New Homeschoolers Do Reel
- How I Created My Homeschool Tribe Podcast Episode

I pray this episode blessed you!
- Sarah

NEXT STEPS:

• Learn more on the Homeschool Glue Website
• Check out my homeschool resources
• Follow me on Instagram

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Well, I am nowhere near the end of my homeschooling journey with baby number four on the way. I have probably another 18 years left. But I have definitely learned a thing or two or 20 that I would want to tell myself if I was starting all over again. So if you are new to homeschooling, thinking about homeschooling, or just feeling kind of lost, I really hope this episode can give you some tips and also offer you some grace as you start to chart some new territory. Glue. It's messy, it's sticky, it gets everywhere, but it's also really useful, just like the glue we need as homeschool moms to glue our chaotic, beautiful, and wonderfully messy days together with our children. I'm Sarah, homeschooling mom of three daughters who is passionate about helping fellow homeschooling moms create intentional moments that act as glue, bringing entire families together. I create family-style resources for my business that can help act as the glue for your family, but I also share lots of ideas and encouragement here on this podcast. Whether you struggle with time management, overwhelm, or just exhaustion from all the hats you wear as a homeschool mom, I've got lots of simple ideas that can bring you from uninspired and tired to intentional and prepared. This homeschool life is a unique one that only fellow homeschool moms truly understand. I hope each episode leaves you inspired and ready to create a few moments to help glue your family together. Thanks for listening. Let's jump into it. So I was just brainstorming 20 different things I would tell myself if I was starting this journey over. And I hope that these things will be helpful whether you've just started homeschooling or thinking about homeschooling, or maybe have been homeschooling for a while but are just stuck in a rut. I am no expert. I've only been doing this a few years, but um I like to reflect back and I hope that these 20 different things can be valuable. So I'm just gonna jump right into it. My first tip have something for your kids to do with their hands. If you are reading a lot to your kids, if you're a Charlotte Mason uh homeschooling family, especially, because it's very book-based, or have any kind of read-alouts, have something for your kids to do with their hands, even older kids. Like it's good for them to be able to color, to do puzzles, to have handicrafts like sewing or uh soap carving or wood carving. Like there's so many different things that they can do with their hands. So have things for your kids to do with their hands readily available. You don't need tons of different options, but just a couple things that they might enjoy doing and also make sure they're not things that will be disruptive. So I found playing with Legos doesn't really work well for my kids because they imagine them as people and they create little worlds, and so they're not really listening to the book when they are playing with Legos, but maybe your kids just like to build and they can do Legos really well. Um, some kids can't do well coloring because they like draw comic books and then they're not really listening to you, they're writing their comic book. So just be mindful of that, but definitely have things for your kids to do with their hands. Don't expect them to sit well with nothing in their hands for extended periods of time. They need to be active in some way, and it's a great way to get them to focus. Number two, you don't need fill in the blank. When I first started, I was so excited and I bought all the things. I bought the microscopes, I bought the counting blocks, I bought manipulatives, I bought the wooden calendar, I bought tracing boards, I bought a 100 board. Um, I bought so many things, and while we do still use some of those things, there are other things I have found better versions for, or we just found we don't use, and so they were a waste of money. And so I just really encourage you, as much as you want to, you know, thrift things, go on Facebook Marketplace, go on Amazon, watch all the videos, buy all the things. Um, it can be really fun, but you may find that you don't need a lot of those things, so it's a way better idea to slowly accumulate things over time as you need them than to just fill your house with stuff that you think you might need and then end up not needing. Totally get the pull to do that, but I recommend you wait. Piggybacking off of that, you do not need to decorate or renovate a whole room until you know what's going to work for you. If you have a space in your home that you're planning to use as your homeschool space, that's amazing. And you may want to purchase some shelving options or something like that ahead of time. You might want to get the pretty chalkboard up. That's totally fine. Do it's you do you, right? But um I did that. I got a homeschool room already, and then we tried it for a year. It wasn't working well, but I pushed through, and then the second year I just gave up because that room was on a different level. It was away from our main living area, and I just found my younger daughters wanted to go upstairs and play, but especially my youngest wasn't old enough to play away from me, so that was very frustrating for me because I would need to like pack up everything and move upstairs, or I would have to keep her in the room, which if you have a two-year-old, you know how hard that is when they want to go somewhere. Um, and so obviously I set boundaries, I had gates and stuff, but it was just really frustrating to have to be like parenting her constantly, like enforcing that boundary while I'm trying to read aloud or teach my kids math or reading or whatever. And so we found it was way better for our family to homeschool at the dining room table. And we've done that for a couple years. I don't plan to change that anytime soon. It's just worked really, really well for us. Um, would I love to have a beautiful homeschool room with all the shelving and beautiful baskets and all the things, of course. But it just wasn't realistic for our family in that season. And so just my word, my wise words would be definitely you can create the space. I wouldn't go too crazy because you might find it just doesn't work well for you. Um, but it may, but it's just best to kind of wait. Um, that's kind of the theme of all this: that it's okay to wait and figure out what works for your kids and what works out for you. Number four, rhythm is far better than schedule. I'm a huge time blocker. I love having a daily schedule of some sort, but with kids, I would say to air on the side of a rhythm and not a schedule. So if you're not familiar, a schedule is more like time-based. So we're gonna start at this time, then we're gonna do this at this time, this at this time, lunches at this time, sports at this time, whatever. A rhythm is more like the order you're gonna do things in, but it's more flexible. And so we definitely are more rhythm-based in our home. Some things happen at the same times every day, most days, but because I'm more focused on the rhythm than the time, I don't get stressed out if breakfast takes super long or if homeschool takes longer than normal. Um, that kind of thing. So focus on a rhythm and not a time-based schedule. Also, number five, don't make your plans in pen. Create margin for your life to happen. This is a metaphorical one. Like you can definitely make your plans in pen if you like to write in pen, but it's more figurative in that you can make your plans for homeschool, you can have everyday plan, you can have your year-long schedule of when you're gonna take breaks and when you aren't. But that's probably not gonna be realistic. The beauty of homeschooling is that when life happens, you can take a break. Whereas if your kids are in public school and life happens, they just have to keep going. Like they can't be missing weeks of school because Grampy's in the hospital, which is something we dealt with last year. Um, you know, the they just have to keep going. Whereas with homeschooling, if a major life emergency happens, you can take a break, and that's gonna mess up your whole schedule. But if you plan your schedule knowing that things may come up, my kids might get sick, we might get ahead, we might get behind. Um, it's just way better for you mentally to know that that could happen than to plan it all out and have it down to the T and then things happen and then you're stressed because you're not sticking to your schedule. So just make your schedule. That's great. I'm very type A. I love planning. But remember that things can happen. Maybe only create half of a schedule or plan half of the year, um, and just create some kind of margin in there, or have just have it in the back of your mind that this may not go exactly how you think it will go. Or it may go perfectly, but just know that there's a possibility every year that it's not going to go the way you think it will. Number six, do not compare your kids to other kids or to each other. I totally get the pull to do this, especially as a homeschool mom when you only have like one or two kids at a certain age, usually one if you don't have multiples. Um, it's really easy to be like, are they on track? Are they ahead? Are they behind? And then you see their friends and you're comparing, or you see other co- uh like friends, homeschool friends at co-op or whatever, and you're comparing, is my kid, do they know as many words? Can they read as well? That kind of thing. Obviously, we should have in the back of our mind about where each child should be, quote unquote, around their age range, but every kid is so different, which is also the beauty of homeschooling, is that we're not forcing them to read at four or five when maybe they won't be ready till seven. We're gonna try it, you know, but we're not gonna make it this thing that's stressing them out and making them hate reading because we're forcing it on them too early. Um, so don't compare your kids. It's okay to like notice what's happening, notice that other kids maybe are more advanced in reading and take a step back and say, you know, are we on track? Are they making improvements? That kind of thing. But don't get super tied up to like that child's reading and my child isn't, something's wrong with my child, or my child's reading and their child isn't. There must, you know, my kid must be way smarter. Like, don't think about kids like that. It's just really icky. Um, and and try not to compare your kids to each other. Like, if you have one child who read at age five and your next one is not reading till age seven, that doesn't mean they're any like any less smart than the other child. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. They probably will catch up in a couple years anyway. They usually do. Um, and so just remember that each child is their own person and they have their own journey they're gonna take through life, through academics, through everything, and it's not gonna be the same timeline as any other kid, and that's okay, and that's beautiful. Number seven, when you're first getting into the homeschool lifestyle, learning about homeschooling, I just encourage you to learn as much as you possibly can about how kids learn and different homeschooling philosophies. Um, and then try different things, like try out different things, see what works for you. Our first year, we were very Charlotte Mason in what we picked for our curriculum, but I did pick like a boxed curriculum, but then we went to a co-op that was very different than that, and so I knew I probably wasn't gonna be a huge fan of the way the co-op ran, but I wanted to get out there and just see what it looked like and meet other moms and talk to them. And I'm really glad I did that because it just made me feel even more solidified in our decision that we are Charlotte Mason homeschoolers, and then I was able to find our path into a different co-op. And so just try different things, be open-minded. Um, you never know what might work for your children. You may surprise yourself of what you may find yourself gravitating toward, but you don't really know that until you learn a lot and try different things. Also, number eight, there is so much benefit to community, but you may need to start the community and you may need to put yourself out there. As an introvert, uh pretty shy person, that can be hard, but I'm just so glad that I was willing to put myself out there and then I was willing to help other friends create a co-op when the time came. I have a whole podcast episode about that. Um, if you guys are interested about how I found my tribe, and I talk a little bit in there about creating a co-op, which I didn't actually create it, but I I was part of the group that helped helped create it. There were a couple that were like leading it. Um but we started our own Charlotte Mason co-op. We're going into year three, and it's just it's just been amazing. And so to get that community, it's not gonna find you for sure as a homeschool mom. It's not gonna come knocking at your door, you have to put yourself out there. But there's so much benefit to having mom friends, families who are friends who are walking a similar path that you are walking, and to be friends with your kids and that you can reach out to when you're having trouble, or they can reach out to you when they're having trouble, and you can bounce ideas off each other. It's just super duper helpful. Um, and something I don't think I could homeschool without at this point. Number nine, you will question yourself often. So have a strong why. You may not have a super strong why when you start, or you may. It really just depends on where you're coming from when you start homeschooling. But it's really important to develop that why, why you're homeschooling, what your reasons are, what your goals are, um, why you are choosing homeschooling over public or private education. Why are you doing that? And having a really strong reason or multiple reasons, why? Because you are going to doubt yourself. You are gonna say sometimes, maybe they'd be better off at school, or maybe I'd be better off if they were at school. Like I'm just being honest. I love my children more than anyone on this earth. However, it can be hard at times. Um, I've got three very strong-willed, very wonderful, very active girls, and there's pickering, there's uh attitudes sometimes, as you can imagine. And so it can be hard sometimes. It can, I can feel that pull to be like, oh, there goes the bus. Today would be a good day for them to go on it, but I decided to do this, and I have strong reasons, and it just forces me to remember why I'm doing this and to not give in to those thoughts, to replace those thoughts when they come, and they don't come very often anymore, thankfully. And it's just super helpful to know why you're doing this. So when you are questioning yourself, when you are frustrated, you have that to turn to. Number 10, be prepared for negative or doubt-inducing comments and have some responses in your back pocket. So I'm hoping this won't happen to you. I'm hoping people will be nice and will um be polite and considerate because I don't see many people walking up to families and finding out that their kids go to public school and then saying mean, rude things to them. But it does happen from time to time for homeschooling families. I think that's going down as it becomes more common. But just know that people may say something at a time you're not expecting it. You may be in line at the grocery store, you know, and somebody might be like, Why aren't your kids in school? And you'll say they're homeschooled. And they might say, Oh, I've only met weird homeschoolers. I hope yours turn out okay, or something like that. Hopefully they won't say that, but you just never know. Or you'll find people online saying really mean things. Um, and so just know that's going to happen at some point, and to have some responses in your back pocket, even if it's just that's your opinion. Thank you. I hope you have a great day. Or if you can be a little snarkier if you want to be, or have like a really good, well-formed, thought-out response, that's great too. So just take some time to kind of think about what you might say in those situations that hopefully will be God honoring, because I know it's really hard in those situations to want to say something snarky. Um, so just know that that may happen and maybe prepare even just a short phrase you could say if if somebody were to say something rude to you about it. Number 11, if something is not working, it is okay to change it. You do not have to be locked into what choices you made at the beginning of the school year, especially when you're new to homeschooling, you may change everything by the end of the first school year. And it kind of does suck because you have paid for a lot of things, but you are in a phase of trying different things, figuring out what works for you, figuring out what works for your kids, learning what your homeschool philosophy is. And so it is okay to change what you are doing and move to something else that might work better. And that doesn't just mean like your curricula. You don't necessarily need to change everything that you're using for resources if your child's having a hard time. You may need to change your rhythm for the day, maybe switch around when you do certain things. You may need to change where you're homeschooling in your home. You may need to get outside, you may need to let your child go play outside for a while before you start homeschool time. There are so many different ideas out there of how to make homeschooling go a little bit better, but um, it is okay to make those changes. It is good, and that's the beauty of homeschooling is you don't have to teach a certain subject at a certain time to a certain class, you have flexibility. Number 12, every season of homeschooling is going to look different. You may have one year where everything goes smoothly or even a month, if I'm being more realistic, and everything's working well, the curricula you chose is is working well, you're in good spirits, the books they're reading are amazing, like the toddler is not having a fit in the middle of your read-aloud, like everything's aligned. Okay, and then you wait a few months or you start a new school year and your kids are older, or maybe you just had a new baby, or your baby turned into a toddler, or whatever. Now you have a teenager with hormones and attitude. Who knows? Every season is going to look different, and so you can't expect one day or one month or one year to look like the year before, or the month before, or the day before. And that can be reassuring too if you're having a bad season right now where you're frustrated. It's not always gonna be that way. Everybody's gonna change. You're growing, your kids are growing in every single way. All of us are, and you're gonna grow together, you're gonna figure out what works for you. And the things that are hard now hopefully won't be hard later, but there will be new hards. Um, if I'm just being honest, that's just motherhood. Um, the whole journey of motherhood, even when our kids are leaving the home, like there's still gonna be things in the future that are challenging and that we need to figure out. And so homeschooling is no different, unfortunately. That's just how it goes. But there's also so much beauty in that getting to walk alongside your kids as they grow, as they mature, and them getting to see us. And to help us do that as well, because homeschooling is definitely a very sanctifying uh thing you can do, and it's not very rewarding in like immediate gratification, it takes a long time to see the results of all of your work, and you may not see them for a very long time. And so just keep that in mind. Every season will be different, and just be prepared for that. If you're just at the beginning of your homeschooling journey and your kids are young, this may be hard to imagine, but I just want to give you permission for number 13. It is not only okay to transfer ownership of learning to your children, but it's good. And so, what do I mean by that? I'm not meaning like they're just completely on their own, have to figure it all out. I'm meaning as they get older, you can slowly start to hand over some of the teaching and learning to them. For example, my oldest is going into fourth grade. Math is now becoming more on her. It's more of me handing it to her and starting her off, but then she's gonna watch videos and do the lessons. If she's struggling, I will step in. But if she's not, I want her to feel that pride and validation of I figured this out on my own. I am able to teach myself because at the end of the day, at least for me, and I think a lot of, I hope a lot of families in general, but I know a lot of homeschooling families, their goal, one of their goals is to teach their children that they don't need us to teach them. They don't need a teacher to teach them. They are created to learn from the from the conception, but really from the first time they're born, like they are soaking up everything around them. They learn to walk without our help. They figure that out. We try to help, but really it's not very helpful. They need to figure that out on their own. They learn to talk by hearing us, by us talking to them, by them mimicking. It's just so amazing how wired we are to learn on our own. And yes, obviously we need help, we need books and things like that. You can't just sit in a field and like learn everything you need to learn without any resources. But we have brains that are developed to be able to learn. And so being able to hand a book to your child and have them go off and read and then come back and narrate to you, and that's all you do for whatever subject that is, that's it's scary, but it's also very liberating. And it's also an amazing thing you're teaching your child that they don't need you to spoon feed them the information. They can do that on their own. And so as they get older, you can hand more things to them, and then hopefully by the time they leave your home, they are able to learn everything on their own. College is a lot of learning on your own, and so it's a great way to prepare them for that if that's where they want to go after they graduate, but also in life, uh, we'll prepare our kids as best as we can for life after they are in our home, and there'll still be things they need to learn, and so being able to give them that gift of figuring things out on their own is is a huge gift, and it's important to look at it that way. Number 14, value what they are learning during the quote unquote non-school hours. There will be hours that you are dedicating every day to homeschooling or most days, where you are reading to them or they're doing math, or you're doing, you know, folk songs or handicrafts or whatever it may be. But then there will be hours, hopefully. Um, if you're not spending your whole day homeschooling, which is one of the beauties of homeschooling, is that it usually doesn't take seven to eight hours a day of dedicated time spent teaching and learning? Your kids can be learning so many other things outside of that time. But often, because the world doesn't see those things as learning, we don't really notice them. And so it's important to start to notice those things when your kids are playing outside. Are they learning how to work in a group with their friends? Are they learning physics and how their body works when they're climbing? Are they investigating the roly-pulley bugs under a rock? Like all of that is learning. Um, there's so many things our kids do when they're learning. Legos are learning. Playing for little kids especially is learning. There's they're learning so many different things when they play. If we just let them play. Uh, if you cook with your kids, that's learning. Taking them to the store, that is learning. Um, and there's so much value in those things as well when they're doing chores, that is learning. And so they are learning so much, even outside the time that we are actively teaching them, or they are actively reading and learning. And make sure you value that time as well. I have a whole podcast episode about this next one, but 15. Know and expect homeschooling with toddlers or preschoolers to be hard. If it's not hard for you, that's amazing. And if it is, you will be prepared. Sometimes just having those different expectations where you think it's gonna go well and then it doesn't, that just having that expectation can ruin a decent day where had you just assumed it might be hard, it might have actually gone better in your mind, uh, if that makes sense. So let's say you have this perfectly planned day. You're like, today is the day my toddler will act like a five-year-old and not a two-year-old, okay? And you you're like, okay, I'm just gonna will this day to be a great day. Okay. There is a benefit to having positive thinking, but we also need to be realistic, okay? So imagine you start the day that way, and then you get your morning menus out, and your toddler grabs a dry erase marker and starts coloring all over the furniture. So you're dealing with that, and you're like, okay, it's okay. It's it still can be a great day. It still can be a great day. And that takes five minutes to get you back on track. Then you're trying to listen to a folk song and they keep banging on the keyboard and messing up the folk song, and you're like, okay, it's gonna be okay. And all these things start happening because you have a toddler and you're trying to read aloud and they are singing really loudly, or they're try asking you questions every two seconds. Like all of these things by themselves, not a big deal. But when they all happen at the same time, it can be very frustrating when you're trying to teach a group of children, right? And so having this mindset that the day is gonna go perfectly is just gonna lead to frustration because you're gonna be upset that your child is derailing your perfect plan for the day. And instead, it's way more helpful to think, okay, my toddler's gonna be their toddler self today. What can I do, first of all, to prevent that? Maybe they don't get a dry erase marker, they get you know something else to do that they love to do. That's like I started doing activity bins for my three-year-old because she was very much in that phase of trying to get my attention in all the negative ways. And I was doing the frustration thing every day, and it wasn't going well, and I wasn't being the mom I wanted to be. And so I started making these activity bins, which I have on my Instagram if you guys are interested interested in learning more about them. But she got special time at the start of the day where I would read two books to her, and then we would get out an activity bin that she could get out just during this time, and that changed so much. And that idea came from a place of okay, I'm not gonna change my kid in a few days. She's gonna be like this for a while. This is a phase she is going through, perfectly healthy, perfectly normal. I need to keep my cool because when I get upset, she's just learning that she can push me to that point and she's gonna keep testing that because that's what they do. And so I'm just reinforcing the bad behavior by getting upset. And so instead, I need to figure out a way to work with her instead of against her, and that all came from not having this expectation that it was gonna be a good day. I came with the expectation of she's gonna be who she is, and I need to figure out a way to parent through that and to make exceptions, make changes to adapt to that. And then also when those things would still happen here and there, because they still obviously still happened, I was calmer because I expected it. She wasn't ruining my idea for a perfect day, she was just doing what I expected her to do, and I was able to calmly most of the time react and adjust and create boundaries and whatever. And she wasn't getting that um reinforcement that her acting like that makes me upset because I wasn't getting upset anymore because I expected it. So I hope that makes sense. Um, just expect that it's gonna be hard with little kids sometimes. Nursing babies, all that stuff can be hard. And if you just expect that, it actually goes a lot better, usually. Piggybacking off of that, number 16. It is normal for your kids to push back, especially if they were not homeschooled from the beginning. But even so, it's totally normal for kids to push back. Does that mean it's acceptable behavior? No. But don't think there's something wrong with you, or you did something wrong, or you made the wrong choice because your kids are not wanting to do homeschool, or they're giving you attitude, or they're pushing back in some way. Often, this is a phase. Often they're trying to kind of see how you're gonna react. Often they may just need more time with you, they may need more reassurance that you're sticking with this, you want to be with them. Um, and you're not gonna abandon this idea. There's so many reasons why kids might act like this. And more, like probably 99% of the time, it's not because you made the wrong choice, it's because they're going through something, and we as parents need to love them through that and maybe try to figure out a couple ways that might make it a little better, switching around the day, letting them sleep in, whatever it may be. But just know that it is normal, obviously not acceptable, but it is normal for kids to do that. Number 17, make sure you carve out some time for yourself. I'm not saying this like every mom needs hours of self-care, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you, when you homeschool, are giving of yourself most of the day to other people. You're taking on something that most parents don't take on. You're taking on educating your child. That's a big responsibility. And so it's important to still have time for yourself, even if it's around your kids. Like I read around my kids, I listen to audiobooks when I'm cooking. Um, I still go out and see my friends and things like that from time to time. So, however you're able, everybody's situation is different, obviously. But even if it's just a few minutes here and there, how can you fit in something that's really just for you? Maybe it's going for a walk, maybe it's talking to a friend, whatever it may be. Make sure you still find time to carve out some time for yourself. Number 18, it is okay to start slow and add over time. So many of us feel the pull to start fully. Like you're doing every subject from the beginning. You want to have the full day figured out, you want to try it, you want to go full force into this whole homeschooling thing. And that's awesome. Um, however, your kids might not be ready for that, especially if this is very new for them, especially if they started with public school and now they're coming home, or if they're little and they're going from just playing all day to now we're doing this whole school thing. It is not just okay, it's good to start slow and add over time. You can start a little bit here and then add. There's no rule that says you have to do however many hours every single day. You can go into it slowly, maybe spread it out over the day, start with little things and add to it over time until you get to the full day that you're planning and aspiring to do eventually. But it's really good to just start slow and you're not doing anything wrong and you're not like messing up in some way. It's actually really good to do it that way. Number 19, I'm going to be very honest. If you are new to being home with your kids or new to homeschooling, the days, you know, if you look back, like I'm looking back at the last few years of homeschooling, and I can't remember very many particular days because the truth is they do get kind of mundane, if I'm being honest. Every day kind of blends into the next day, which blends into the next day, and pretty soon you're nine months later and you can't really remember a whole lot, but you know you got a lot done because you filled through the books and you read a bunch of books, and your kids are more mature and they have more skills. But it can get pretty mundane at times. Um, so I really encourage you to savor those little moments, even if you don't remember them. Um, if you can start a journal or take pictures or whatever it is, um, to remember some of those moments. It can help you remember in times where you're like, I feel like I'm just doing the same thing every day. Is this worth it? Am I doing anything with my life? Um, which obviously are not good thoughts, but might happen, you know. I'm just being honest. Uh it's really nice to be able to say, wow, look at that time that my daughter read her first word, or my child like came to me and said, I love this book and they hated reading before, or whatever it may be. When your child who struggles with math finally it clicks. Those are the moments that many parents don't get because their kids are in school. And I'm not, this is not a school shaming podcast. I'm just saying what an honor it is to be able to be there for those moments, trying not to cry now. Um, that's truly the beauty, that's the gratification we have until they're older, and hopefully there's gratification once they're 18 and they're hopefully well-rounded individuals, and we can be proud. Um, but those little moments are truly what we hold on to this whole time because you don't see a lot of the fruit of your efforts for many, many years. And so holding on to those will really help you to feel like what you're doing is worthwhile and um to feel secure in your cho in your choice and to know that you are making a difference and that um you're the one who gets to be there to see those moments, which is such a privilege and such an honor. And lastly, number 20, your worth is not tied to how your kids quote unquote turn out. Your worth is not tied to how much they know at the end of 18 years or what careers your kids end up pursuing when they leave the home. Um, motherhood, but especially homeschooling, when you are the sole educator and the main one parenting your kids day in and day out for years and years and years, it is not an outcome-based job. You're not at some like job where you're selling cars and your pay is based on how many cars you sold. Your worth as a mom and your worth as a homeschooling parent is not how much you teach your kids or how well they turn out. Um, and that's hard. It's hard to know that we can pour all this into our kids, and they still may not turn out the way we had hoped they would. Uh, but where I really, as somebody who has young kids still, this is me talking to myself too, what I really hold on to is that at 18, you're still so young, and your whole life is a journey. You don't get to 18 and you are suddenly this super wise person, you have it all figured out, and you're only going to make good choices from now on. You are just at the beginning of your journey. And uh hopefully, you know, as we homeschool, we are helping lay the foundation for our kids. We are creating a strong foundation in our kids. And what they do with that foundation once they are 18 and they leave home is up to them. If they want to put a tent on it and that's it, um, that's up to them. If they want to build a skyscraper and it's super strong, that's up to them. Whatever house they build is up to them, but we help lay a strong foundation. And so we just have to be secure that that foundation that we created will be enough and that God will take over and cover the rest because we are gonna fail. We are gonna have regrets about how we handled things. Um, but at the end of the day, all we can do is give our best and ask God to take over because truly we are not enough in that we can create, you know, amazing humans all on our own. Um, we can help with that process, we can do our best, but ultimately planting those seeds of faith and and who our kids actually turn out to be, that is not all on us. Um, and so I just hope that gives you some comfort knowing that you're creating a strong foundation, but the rest of the building, the rest of the home, or whatever they choose to build on top of that is up to your kids. And so what they do with that is out of your hands. And all we can really do is pray, give ourselves grace, and and do our best with the time we have building that foundation. I hope these 20 uh words of advice were helpful. Um, I just was inspired to create, like, record this episode because I was thinking, if I were starting all over, what would I tell myself? And then these 20 different ideas just poured out. So I just pray that this will encourage you, give you some things to think about, um, and just be a realistic picture of homeschooling. I never want to be like, it's super easy, it'll be great. And then people start homeschooling and then they feel like they were fed to the wolves because they're struggling. Um, I try to be realistic, but I also um do think it's an absolutely incredible and beautiful lifestyle that I'm so grateful to be able to do and hope to continue in the future. And so I hope this was helpful. If it was, um, I would love if you would send this to somebody else who's having a hard time or is at the beginning of their homeschool journey, and hopefully it can help encourage them as well. Thank you so much for listening. I'll talk to you soon. Happy homeschooling. Thank you for stopping by my little cozy home here on the internet. I pray this podcast episode blessed your life and helped encourage you. I would appreciate so much if you would leave a rating and review, and why not share this episode with a friend while you're at it? Make sure you follow me over on Instagram at homeschoolglue for lots of other intentional motherhood and homeschool tips and encouragement and some funny memes in there. And as always, happy homeschooling. I'll talk to you soon. Have a good day.