001 || The Hidden Curriculum Running Your Homeschool

Right now — whether you’re actively homeschooling or not — there’s a curriculum already running your homeschool. You didn’t choose it from a catalog. But your kids are being shaped by it every single day.

In this first episode of the relaunched Homeschool Glue Podcast, I break down what the hidden curriculum actually is (hint: it’s the atmosphere of your home), why it matters more than any lesson plan you’ll ever write, and what you can actually do to make it work for you instead of against you.

This one is for the mom who is exhausted in a way that goes beyond just being tired. The mom who knows it matters and feels the weight of that every single day.

Not a perfect mom. A peaceful one.

That’s what we’re building here.

Links:

•  Shop all Homeschool Glue resources

•  Daily Riches — open-and-go Charlotte Mason rich subjects curriculum, ~20 minutes a day, family-style, 4 days a week

•  Buds, Blooms + Bees — living-books botany science, perfect for spring and summer

•  Seashore Science — living-books ocean science, perfect for summer

•  Join my email list — hear about sales and new resources before anyone else

Sale — this week only:

Everything in the Homeschool Glue shop is 20% off through Saturday March 29th at 11:59pm. No code needed — the discount is already applied at checkout.

Transcript

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Did you know that right now, whether you're intentional about it or not, there is a curriculum already running in your home and your homeschool. You didn't choose it from a catalog, though, and you didn't plan it out or add it to your schedule. But your kids are being shaped by it every single day. And here's what I think is wild. Most homeschool moms spend enormous amounts of time and energy, especially this time of year at the end of winter, the start of spring. We're looking forward to a new school year. And we spend so much time planning, preparing, buying, talking to friends, watching YouTube videos, scrolling Instagram, trying to find the perfect curriculum for our kids and our families for the new school year. But we spend hardly any time thinking about this hidden curriculum. Today I want to talk about what that hidden curriculum actually is because I think when you see it clearly, it's going to change not only everything about how you think about your homeschool, but how you show up for your kids in your home and your homeschool. Glue. It's messy, it's sticky, it gets everywhere. But without it, nothing holds. Homeschool life can feel messy too. We have the loud days, the mental overload, so many moving parts. But we don't need is more curriculum or more pressure to do it all. We need something that holds. Simple systems, steady rhythms, the kind of structure that makes homeschooling easier instead of heavier. Hi, I'm Sarah, a homeschool mom of four, and this is the Homeschool Glue Podcast. Each week we have an honest conversation about real homeschool life and the simple systems that help overwhelmed homeschool moms clear the mental clutter, build rhythms that actually stick, and create the peaceful lives we are all craving. If you're tired of carrying everything and getting nowhere, you are in the right place. Grab that load of laundry and let's get started. Welcome to the Homeschool Glue podcast. I am Sarah. I'm a homeschool mom of four in Minnesota. I'm a former English teacher and the founder of Homeschool Glue. I help overwhelmed homeschool moms build simple systems that stick so they can create sustainable homeschools and peaceful homes. Now, you may see other episodes and wonder why I'm like introducing the podcast like it's a new one, but that's because I took a long break and I've really shifted a lot in my business and my messaging and what I really want to do with my business. So while there are previous episodes you can go back and listen to, I'm not going to delete them. Moving forward, this is going to be episode one of the new relaunch. And so in this episode, I really want to start somewhere foundational, somewhere where I wish someone had taken me when I first started homeschooling, because it would have completely changed what I focused on and how I approached motherhood too. So we're going to be talking about the hidden curriculum, the one that's already running in your home, whether you planned it or not. And we're going to talk about what that actually is and why it matters more than anything else in your homeschool, believe it or not, and what you can do to make it work for you instead of against you. So what is this hidden curriculum? You're probably asking. Here's my simple definition: it's the atmosphere of your home, the rhythms you live by, the way you handle a hard day in front of your kids, the tone of your voice at 8 a.m. when everything is already going sideways, the books on your shelves and whether you read together, whether your home feels calm or chaotic, rushed or spacious, safe or stressed. This is the hidden curriculum that's running in your home every single day, whether you have planned for it or not. And your kids are absorbing it every single day. And it will actually be even more impactful in their life than any book they read or any curriculum that you choose that has knowledge in it, because it's going to affect the way they live their life, how they feel about themselves, and how they create a home environment one day as well. So much research consistently tells us that our home environment is such a powerful predictor of a child's long-term success and well-being. Not the school they attend, not the curriculum they use, the home, the parents, you. Which means that the hidden curriculum isn't just a metaphor, it's real. Your kids are learning from you constantly, long before you open a textbook or a living book, and long after you close it. There's so much debate in the homeschool world about what's the best curriculum or what's the best method. And all of these are great, great discussions to have, important discussions to have. But if everything's chaotic, you're stressed, you're overwhelmed, mom isn't doing well, none of that matters. No curriculum in the world is going to fix that or cover it over and make it all okay. We really need to work on systems, rhythm, so that even when life does fall apart, which inevitably it will from time to time, life happens. But that way we can still try to maintain the best semblance of peace in our homes. So this hidden curriculum is just the thing that's going all of the time. And we truly do have a lot of control over it. Although sometimes if we're not being intentional about it, which is often, we get derailed, and this feels like something we don't have control over. So, what are some of the different elements of this hidden curriculum? It's the way you talk about hard things with your kids, it's the books that you expose them to, it's how you handle conflict and failure after a bad day, the rhythms and routines that shape your world, which are so important, especially for a mom, because if we're the ones homeschooling our kids most of the time, we're holding a lot. And that stress can easily transfer to our kids. Whether they feel calm and secure in their own home, the way we talk about learning, whether it's a joy or a burden, the way we talk about each other, and whether mom seems depleted and stressed or present and engaged. So I'm a big Charlotte Mason homeschooler, and so much of that educational philosophy is also a life philosophy. Um, there's so much in it that just translates so much to just life in general. And she talks so much about the atmosphere. The education is an atmosphere, and that atmosphere is so important, and that's really what I'm talking about. The hidden curriculum is that atmosphere where learning takes place, but it's not just learning academic learning. It's learning about being people, it's learning about getting along, it's learning about creating peace, even among amongst a lot of stress or tragedies or crises in your life. Um, and that atmosphere is so important. And the environment shapes our children more than any lesson plan we have. We could have the best lesson plan ever, but if we're stressed and we're upset and we're snippy with our kids and we are worried about the laundry and we're worried about the meal plan and we're worried about all these thoughts that are in our head and we keep getting interrupted and we can't keep track of anything, that lesson plan doesn't matter because our kids are not getting what they really need out of it because we're not in our best peaceful state. And they can feel that, they can sense that. And so working on this hidden curriculum is going to help all aspects of life, including the curriculum you actually do choose for your homeschool. Now I can feel through the airwaves, the sound waves in the past. You're listening to this in the future, but I can feel um the sense of terror or overwhelm when you're letting that sink in, like, wow, uh, I don't have all my stuff together. Am I ruining my kids? That is an ongoing thought us homeschool moms have. Am I doing enough? Am I being the best mom I can be? Am I choosing the right curriculum? And I don't want you to close out of this episode because this is not meant to shame you in any way. It's just trying to be truthful in that the tone of your home matters and what can we do about it? If the hidden curriculum is always running, if my kids are always absorbing the atmosphere of our home, then what are they learning from me on the days that I'm just surviving? What is the hidden curriculum teaching them when I'm snapping at everyone before 9 a.m.? When the house is chaos and I'm overwhelmed and I'm just trying to get through the day? When I'm physically present, but mentally I'm somewhere else entirely. So many of you listening are probably thinking, am I even enough for this? Am I failing my children? Am I messing them up? What if my bad days outweigh my good ones? What if the chaos of our home is doing more damage and I can't even see it? What if the hidden curriculum running my home right now is not something I'm proud of? And I think these are all really important fears that we should acknowledge are there. We shouldn't just try to shove them down because if we shove them down, we're not going to do anything about them. And it would be such a disservice, not only to our kids, but ultimately to ourselves, to just accept that that's the way it is and not do anything about it. Because we do have control over this. It's not going to change overnight, no matter how much willpower we have. But there are so many things we can do, which is what this whole podcast is going to be about. Not just this episode, but all the future episodes. I think this is why so many homeschool moms are exhausted in a way that goes beyond just being tired. It's not just the logistics, it's the weight of knowing that it matters. It's carrying the sense that you should be doing more, being more, giving more, but never quite feeling like you're enough or like you know what you're doing. And if the hidden curriculum is always running, that weight gets heavier because it means there is no off switch, unfortunately. There's no summer break from being their most important teacher, which is what we are. Whether we homeschool or not, we truly are the most important teacher for our children. Let me say that again. Whether we homeschool or not, we are the most important teacher for our children. And I think that's something that doesn't get talked about a lot when people are choosing between homeschool or public school or private school. Ultimately, no matter if you outsource the schooling of your children or you take that on in your home, you still are the number one teacher for your children. And that's about a life teaching, not just academics, that's part of it, but that's teaching them about life and the atmosphere of our home is so important, regardless of where we educate our kids. This goes beyond homeschooling. But if we want to homeschool well, we really need to get that environment in check, and everybody will benefit. So here's what I want you to stay with me for. Don't click away. Um, well, we just got to the bad stuff. Let's get to the good stuff. Because I think this cuts both ways, and the other side of it is actually extraordinary. Yes, the hidden curriculum is always running. Yes, it matters enormously. But here's where I want you to shift your thinking. You don't have to be a different person to make it work for you. You just have to build a home that supports you. You don't have to find the perfect catalog curriculum or recreate a classroom in your living room or do it the way everyone else does. The hidden curriculum doesn't care about any of that, it cares about the atmosphere. An atmosphere is something you can actually build. As homeschool moms, we can often feel like we are competing with a school system, but the truth is we are the system. You don't have to be a different person. You just need a home that supports the person that you currently are. The goal is not a perfect homeschool, it's not the perfect curriculum, it's not having all your ducks in a row all the time or not having any chaos or stress in your life from outside of your four walls or even within your four walls, because that is not something we always have control over. It is a home where the hidden curriculum is something you're proud of, something that sustains you, something that can keep you going through those times and not get derailed completely. When we can give our kids a peaceful mom in a structured home, it can change everything for them, so much more than a curriculum that you could ever buy. We are not looking or talking about a perfect mom, just a more peaceful one because of the systems and rhythms that you create that help support you. And here's what I've learned: a peaceful home never happens by accident. We can pray for peace, and God often and will provide us with that, but it's not always just this feeling. It's something that we actually have control over. We can create systems and create rhythms that bring about peace. Now, God also talks about a deeper peace, which I think is a little bit different than what I'm even talking about, but I'm talking about a calmness, a sense of security, a sense of I've got this, a sense of I can be present with my kids, and less mental overwhelm and chaos in our minds. This unfortunately doesn't come from trying harder or caring more because you're already trying really hard and you already care so much. It's not about those things. It truly comes down to systems and rhythms from reducing the mental load enough that you can actually have something left to give at the end of the day, or have something left over to give to yourself because you probably feel really depleted at the end of the day. When the framework is in place, the atmosphere changes. When the atmosphere changes, the hidden curriculum changes. And when the hidden curriculum changes, everything changes for your kids, for you, and beyond. Because when our home is thriving, we can do so much good in the world outside of our home. If I'm being honest, on paper, if somebody just jumped into my life right now, if even me from 10 years ago jumped into my life right now, I would probably be curled up in the fetal position in the corner crying because I am holding a lot. Uh, just to pull back the curtain a little bit, I homeschool my four kids. I've got a 14-month-old, a five-year-old, an eight-year-old, and 11-year-old. I have a child with some unique needs, I will say. I don't talk specifically about it, but there are added challenges with that, of course. Um, my husband lost his job a couple months ago, and now he's working a whole new job. But that was extremely stressful. Um, I work part-time outside of the home three days a week to help bring in income. And then I'm also running this very time-consuming business that I absolutely love is the passion and joy of my life beyond my family and homeschooling. But all of that requires a lot. And um I also don't feel like I'm burnt out, which is amazing considering all that I'm holding. And the whole reason why is because I have systems. Do I get upset with my kids once in a while? Of course. This isn't saying that you're going to be perfect, but I do have this overall sense of peace. Most of the time, I have systems that hold me, that keep me grounded, that keep me able to be pretty present with my kids most of the time, despite having a lot on paper that would naturally stress most moms out. And I'm sure you, if you wrote down everything you do, um, would stress somebody out. And it's probably stressing you out. And so having systems and rhythms that can carry you and take a lot of that mental load, that mental overwhelm away, um, will change everything for your home and your homeschool. I am in a genuinely hard season right now, not hard in that um there's like tragedy in my family. I have walked through that as well. Um, and the systems continue to carry me then. But I have this framework that's holding me together, holding my family together. It's not a perfect hidden curriculum, but it works for me and it's always expanding, it's always evolving depending on what I need. So you may be thinking, what do I actually do with this? Here are three things that I want you to take away from today. We're not going to solve it all. This is just episode one. Um, I need a lot more content to build out other episodes, and I can't fix everything for you in one podcast episode. But what I want you to take away is number one, the hidden curriculum matters more than your catalog curriculum. So while we're in this season right now of choosing curriculum for next year and buying the books and watching for sales and talking to friends and trying different things out, scoping out different things, that is all great. But I also want you to make time and energy and focus for this hidden curriculum because it matters so much more than the content of what we teach our children. And when you can get that right, you can do so much more with the actual educational curriculum that you choose for your kids. Number two, building systems is an act of love, not just productivity. I love being productive. I love checking things off of a to-do list, but that's just futile if there's no purpose behind it. We don't want to check off boxes, just check them off, just to add more to our to-do list. That is not the goal here. The goal is to reduce the mental overwhelm, reduce all of that chatter in our minds constantly of like, I gotta do this and I gotta do that, and I gotta remember that, and I gotta remember that. I'm failing here, and oh yeah, I gotta do that. And you're just not present with your kids, and you feel like you never have time to actually just sit and rest and be present with your family. It's not about productivity. It's about, yes, being more productive with the time you have, but it's allowing yourself to be more present. It's allowing you to have a more meaningful experience in every single thing you do. Building systems is meant to open up more time and more mental uh capacity for the things that truly matter in this world. Yes, laundry matters. Yes, meal planning matters, but what matters so much more are those little people that you look into their eyes every single day and the love that you pour into them. Yes, these things around the house matter, but we shouldn't be so consumed with them that it's overwhelming us. We want to have a system for those things so that we can open up a bigger capacity for the things that truly matter in life. And number three, what I want to leave you with is the hidden curriculum is not a standard to reach, it's a reality you're already living. So I don't want this to become this idea that you have to be the perfect mom or have the perfect home. It is not about um this standard that is gonna become the new thing that you compare yourself to. It's really not about that. It's something that's already happening, whether you work on it or not. So any progress you make is for the better. It's not about being perfect, it's about doing a little bit better every day and getting to a point where you're like, okay, I think this feels right. I think this is the right rhythm. And then your kids may change and grow, and maybe you can pass more on to them, or you can shift things and make it work for the new season, but you'll have a framework that doesn't need to be reinvented all the time, just shifted here and there as life changes. You are already your kid's most important teacher. The hidden curriculum is already running. This isn't about becoming somebody different. I don't want you to get back on Instagram and compare yourself to everybody else, because the truth is you're not going to see the hidden curriculum in their home. You're going to compare yourself to their home and what it looks like in their pretty pictures and their pretty reels, but you don't actually know. So the only person you're really competing against is yourself. And so by becoming better in this area, you're already winning because old you was at a lower level than what you will be. And so that's great. That is progress. Um, it is something that we all should be striving for. It's about building a home that makes the hidden curriculum work for you instead of against you. And you can do that one rhythm at a time. So I know that's a lot. I know that's kind of a deep place to start a relaunch of a podcast, but ultimately every episode after this is running off of this framework of this episode, of this hidden curriculum. And it's going to help you create a hidden curriculum that is no longer hidden, that you're actually working on, that you can see plainly improving every single time you listen and you implement something that I talk about. I really wanted to start the podcast here with this idea because everything else runs off of this thought about the hidden curriculum. And I'm going to be talking about systems and rhythms, the meal planning, the laundry rotation, the weekly planning hour. Simple things in theory, but they can make such a difference in your life. And it'll go so far beyond that in ways that I can't talk about just in one episode. We're going to be building a home where the hidden curriculum is something you're proud of, a home where your kids are thriving because the atmosphere holds them well. That's what homeschool glue is about. Not perfect homeschooling, but sustainable homeschooling. A home that holds together even in hard times, which inevitably will come. The hidden curriculum in your home is already running right now. Tomorrow morning, when your kids wake up, it will be running. It was running before you even opened a single book at your homeschool. It was running uh in the middle of the night. It's running all the time. And so the more we can do to make it more peaceful, to make it run more smoothly, the better off everyone will be. The question is not whether the hidden curriculum is there. The question is whether you're building a home that takes into account the hidden curriculum, or if you just ignore it altogether, because that is a choice that you have. It's a choice I hope you're not going to make, but it is a choice we all have. But I would really love to have you join me on this journey of really working on this hidden curriculum and doing all the things that are required of us as moms, but doing it in a way that doesn't burn us out, that doesn't stress us out to the point where we aren't showing up in the ways we want to show up in all of the other more beautiful, more meaningful parts of life. If this resonated with you, I would love if you would subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any other episodes. Next week, I'm going to be sharing a lot more goodness. So please come back every Tuesday. And if you know a homeschool mom who needs to hear this today, would you send it to her? That is the best thing you can do for the podcast right now. And I just truly hope this will impact moms and children and the world for the better. Um, otherwise, I would not be here talking. Before I go, I want to make sure you know about something happening in my shop this week. Right now, through the end of the day, on Sunday, March 29th, everything in my shop at homeschoolglue.com is 20% off. No code needed. The discount is already applied at checkout. If you've been eyeing any of my resources, now is the time to grab them for the summer or next school year or even the end of this school year. Two of my favorites that I think you would love, especially if today's episode resonated with you, are first off, Daily Riches, which is my open and go Charlotte Mason Rich Subjects curriculum that takes about 20 minutes a day and does all the planning for you, fitting in picture study, composer study, handicraft, poetry, copywork, so much all laid out for you. So you can add so much beauty as a family throughout your entire homeschool year. And the other are my two science resources, which are both family style and very similar but on different topics. So we have buds, blooms, and bees, which my family is working through this school year. It is a botany study, and there are different schedules on there. If you want to do it over the summer or over the school year, you have lots of options. It's very open and go. There are living books, living chapter books, living picture books. There's a hands-on activities, extension activities, rich videos that are just a few minutes, and you can do it as a whole family. And the same thing goes for seashore science, which also is all of those things, except you are studying the seashore and the creatures of the sea. It is so fun. Um, these are great for over the summer. Both would be great because they're both summary types of topics, but you also can use them over half a school year or the whole school year, which is what we did. There's no overwhelm, no elaborate prep, just good learning that actually fits into a homeschool day. The sale ends Sunday, March 29th at the end of the day. Everything is linked in the show notes. And if you're listening after the sale has ended, the best way to hear about future sales before anyone else is to get on my email list. I will have the link in the show notes. I am so glad you're here. I'll see you next week. I pray this episode blessed you and gave you something useful that will make homeschooling easier or more fulfilling. If this episode made you feel seen or gave you one thing to change this week, would you please share it and leave a review? That's how more homeschool moms who are struggling with overwhelm can find something that actually helps. You can always find me on Instagram at homeschoolglue where we talk simple systems, rich learning, and the real version of homeschool life. You don't need to do it all, you just need systems that stick. I'll see you next week. Happy homeschooling!