007 || Why Your Chore Chart Isn't Working (& What to Do Instead)

Sarah posted a chore chart to her Instagram Stories without thinking much of it — and got hundreds of DMs by the end of the day. So in this episode she’s sharing the whole system.

You’ll hear the full three-tier tending system she uses with four kids ages one to eleven: Daily Duties, Family Tending Hour, and Bonus Tending tasks. Plus how the Skylight calendar and a simple rewards system keep kids actually motivated, the 9:30am alarm that changed her mornings, what happens when kids whine or refuse, and how she added a brand new piece to the system just last week when she noticed something wasn’t working.

Two free Canva chore chart templates are linked in the show notes — grab them and make them your own.

LINKS:

•        Free chore chart Canva templates

•        Free Starter Glue-Print

•        Skylight YouTube video

•        Shop all Homeschool Glue resources

•        Follow on Instagram

•        Join the email list

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I posted a chore chart in my Instagram stories about a month ago without really thinking much of it. And I was just showing something new that I added into our home and our routine. And by the end of the day, I had a few hundred DMs asking me and begging me for it. So I realized that this whole topic of chores is pretty important. It's on a lot of mom's minds. And so I thought I would share our entire current chore system. It's always evolving, but this is what we're currently doing right now: what we do, how we get the kids to actually do it, and why I think it works. Glue. It's messy, it's sticky, it gets everywhere. But without it, nothing holds. Homeschool life can feel messy too. We have the loud days, the mental overload, so many moving parts. But we don't need is more curriculum or more pressure to do it all. We need something that holds. Simple systems, steady rhythms, the kind of structure that makes homeschooling easier instead of heavier. Hi, I'm Sarah, a homeschool mom of four, and this is the Homeschool Glue Podcast. Each week we have an honest conversation about real homeschool life and the simple systems that help overwhelmed homeschool moms clear the mental clutter, build rhythms that actually stick, and create the peaceful lives we are all craving. If you're tired of carrying everything and getting nowhere, you are in the right place. Grab that load of laundry and let's get started. Welcome back to the Homeschool Glue Podcast. Today's episode is one I've been wanting to do for a little bit because it's been a topic I get asked about a lot and just having that reception of so many people wanting that short chart. I realize this is a system that a lot of moms need help with. I needed help with in the past, but I've really come up with a system that works tremendously with our family over the last year. I have tweaked so much. It's become something I am so proud of. And my kids are now taking over a lot, but it's not creating like a lot of whining or a lot of resistance. And I'm going to talk about why. And it's allowing them to build habits, which is the whole goal for our family at least, is that they will get in the habit of these things. So eventually it just becomes second nature. And I won't have to run mine to pick up and things like that. And I won't have to have this elaborate system because eventually it'll just be something they can take on. But we have to teach them, we have to mold them, we have to guide them to get to that place. And it's not something we can just assign to them and they just know how to do it, at least not for my kids. And I want to just be really upfront about that. That this took me years to really figure out. It did not form in one day, it did not form in just one year. It was little things over time, but this past year it has just really clicked. And I have created a whole system instead of just little routines. It's a whole system that we do that has really, really helped. And I'm constantly tweaking things. I'm gonna share later in this episode how I had something new last week because I was getting stressed out. And so that's usually a sign to me something needs to change in our systems when one or more of us is getting stressed out by a certain thing. Um, that's a sign that something in the system isn't working or we don't really have a system for that particular thing and we need to adjust. And so I'm gonna share how I did that. And I'm also gonna be giving you guys some free printables throughout this episode, and especially at the end, I'll give you information on that after I explain them. But I just wanted to say thank you for being here and give you a little head start on getting these systems and chores in order. So if you are feeling tired of chores, or you just have no idea, or they fall apart, or your kids are resisting, you're not failing, you're just still figuring out what works for your family, and that's normal. I don't know about you, but I didn't get a guidebook the second I pushed a baby out of my body. I did not get a guidebook that says this is exactly how you should do chores, and this is exactly how you do meals, and this is exactly how you parent this particular child. Um, wouldn't that be nice? That would be so nice, but we don't have that. And so we are figuring it out as we go. And if I can help you on that journey, I would be so honored. So, what I'm gonna share today is what works for my family, for my particular kids, for my personality, for our home, for our lifestyle. However, I think there's lots of things in here that could be applied to many different families, but I don't expect anybody to leave this episode and just completely replicate what I do. But I hope this will give you just some ideas, some starting places, um, or even a framework that you can apply to your own home and then adjust accordingly for what works for you. So, why does a chore system matter? Why can't we just put a chore chart on the fridge and then go about our day? Um, before I get into the specifics, I want to talk about why this is so important because it's not just about a clean house, it truly is about the mental load, and that's something, you know, it's kind of a catchphrase these days, but I just mean it's about all the things we carry as moms in our head, but then we need to actually do. And a lot of our family doesn't, especially our kids, don't see all the stuff we carry in our head, and they don't even often see all of the things we physically do. Um, but we want to eventually pass the baton to them to start doing some of those physical things and eventually have some of the mental part transferred to them as well as they get older because these are things that it will be on them as they grow and they'll have to think about cleaning and laundry and all of those things. And so the mental load will have to transfer too. It won't just be on mom, but it really starts with the physical. So every time you look at a messy counter and think, I need to deal with that, that's a little bit of your mental energy spent. Every time you walk past the stairs basket overflowing and you add it to your mental to-do list, that's just more of your mental energy. Every time you realize it's 5 p.m. and nobody has set the table and you're already tired, that's just more. And it adds up. And then you add in homeschooling and maybe a job or volunteering or uh helping your kid navigate big emotions or special needs or any of those things or just something hard going on in your life, and it adds up so fast. And so the less we can have all of those thoughts all day long and we have a system for those things, so we don't have to be thinking about them all the time, that is going to save you so much mental energy. You're going to be a more peaceful mom. You'll be able to show up for the things that really matter, which, yes, our house and keeping it tidy matters, but showing up for our children and actual real life things that are happening is more important. So if we can save our mental energy for those things that are more important and less mental energy on the things that are gonna be there tomorrow, the laundry and the cleaning and the food and all that, we're gonna have to do it all again tomorrow. If we can make those things less on our mind and we have a system for them, it opens up so much more mental energy for the things that truly do matter, the things that are lasting in this life, the things that you will look back on and care about versus how clean your house was. We want a clean house. It's good for our mental health to have a tidy house, but we don't want to be having to think about it all the time. So a chore system doesn't just clean your house, it distributes the load, it gets things off your mental plate and into a rhythm that runs whether you think about it or not, because it just becomes habitual, which is the whole point and the whole goal, especially for our kids, is trying to get these things to become habits. And when it's working, when the kids know what to do and when to do it and how to do it, it creates a kind of background order that makes the whole house feel calmer, even on the hard days, and it makes mom less stressed, um, physically, mentally, emotionally, which is great, not just for mom, but for the whole family, as we all know. So when the kids contribute to the home, it doesn't just create less work for you. First of all, it's creating less stress so you're a more peaceful mom. But also the kids grow up knowing that they're needed, that they're part of this ecosystem, that they're valuable. And that is such a gift. Kids love to feel needed, even though they don't always show it and they might rebel against it for a while. But we want to feel like we have purpose in a family, and we want to feel like we are contributing in some way. We are built that way as humans to want to make a difference to people around us in a positive way. And so we're giving them a gift, um, even though they may not receive it like that right away. So our chore system has a few different layers. So this is gonna be a lot to talk about, but once it's all in action, it really doesn't feel like a lot. But like I said, this took years. Um, so don't just try to implement this all in one day unless you really get eager and want to. So let's start with our daily rhythm: what happens every day in our house? Um, so first of all, after every meal, my kids are responsible for bringing their dishes to the sink, to the dishwasher, throwing away any trash or extra food that they didn't eat, um, and helping load the dishwasher. So all the kids are in charge of that. After lunch, we split it up. So I'll have one person spray the table, one person will do a quick vacuum with our little vacuum that we do the floors, like a spot clean after to pick up the crumbs, and one person will help finish loading the dishes, like with anything we use for cooking and stuff like that. It takes about not even five minutes, and we all have a job, and so I have found that to be a key thing with my kids is when we all have a job and we're all doing things at the same time, which you'll see a lot in my system, it saves us so much from the fights and the bickering and the whining because we're all doing it, we're all a team, and it's not just one person at a time having to do something. And then after supper, um, we have one person assigned to the kitchen zone, which I'll explain later on in this episode how we handle that. So that's a little bit different. But after breakfast and lunch, um the kids put their dishes away, and then after lunch, we do a little bit deeper clean of the table and the floor because it usually gets a little bit messier, and then it also cleans up the breakfast debris and all of that. And then we do a bigger clean after supper. Now, of course, I'm not gonna say this after every single thing that I talk about, but if something comes up, if somebody's sick, if we have somewhere to run, like of course these things don't always happen perfectly. I'm not a robot. I live a real life with real kids, I'm a real human. And so there's never a day where probably every single thing gets perfectly done, but this is like the goal and the expectation, and most days they get done. But obviously, we have to be flexible with real kids living real lives. Um, okay, so moving on. Another thing we do every day, and this is something I added literally last week, and I'm so gonna talk about and kind of walk you through how my brain works as somebody who loves systems and when I change the system or add something to the system. So the last two weeks, um, my husband, you know, started a new job the last couple months, and the last month it changed, like the schedule changed to a new schedule, and it it kind of rotates, and so he gets done later, like every other week. And it's been a little tricky. Um, and it means he's out of the house a lot more. And so I've just been feeling that weight of like a lot more is on my plate. And so I was noticing from about 10 to 11 a.m. every day, I was just feeling really anxious and like I don't want to say bitter, but I guess kind of bitter. And like I could feel in my chest, in my shoulders, I was just feeling tense, like physically, emotionally, mentally stressed. Like I could actually feel it in my body, and I was like, what is happening? And I would notice that was about the time we finish homeschool. My kids will often go outside to play, and then I'm left with all the stuff the toddler got out while we were homeschooling, which is basically our whole main floor is just stuff everywhere because he's 15 months and that's what they do. And then I'd look at the homeschool table, and while we cleaned up like the main homeschool stuff, there would be slime or crochet stuff or coloring stuff or just random stuff. And then, you know, my younger two daughters who don't homeschool quite as long as my oldest, they play with stuff, and sometimes like a disco ball would be on in the playroom or whatever, Legos would be out. And I was just getting stressed out about it. And I would then call them each in whenever I'd see something, I'd call them in from outside to come pick it up. But I was just like that wasn't really satisfying me because I still was the one who was seeing the mess and I was still the one having to remind them to clean the mess up. And then I was getting like, you know, not very nice to my kids and just kind of snappy. And I didn't like it, they didn't like it, and it wasn't solving the issue. Like I thought if I just have them come in a million times, and you know, I've been doing this for years, where like if they leave a mess out, I tell them, okay, come clean it up, and I take them away from what they're doing to clean it up, but it's not becoming a habit because I'm still the one seeing the mess and I'm still the one telling them to clean it up. And so this isn't working. And so I realized, okay, this is becoming a trend that I'm stressed out at this time. I'm bitter towards my kids because they're not seeing the mess and they're not naturally cleaning it up. And clearly that's just not something that's going to naturally happen right now. And so, what can I do with my system? What kind of system can I put in place or rhythm can I put in place to help with this that will actually teach them eventually to clean up and it's not making me the one seeing all the mess because that's not really right. Like I want my kids to notice when they make a mess. And we say, I say all the time, finish the job, finish the job. If you get something out of a drawer, shut the door. If you get something out, put it all away when you're done. But I have one child with ADHD, and so that's just not something right now that she can do. And then, you know, I've got a five-year-old, I've got kids, you know, they're they all have different levels of what they can do. And so I decided to set an alarm in my phone for 9:30. That's usually when they're my littler ones are done, and I'm like moving on to the last subjects with my oldest. And I made a chart that they have to go through before they go outside or before they go do anything else. Like when they're done with homeschool, they have to go through the chart. And eventually the goal is to not have an alarm reminding me it will just become a habit. But I like to set alarms when I'm new to a habit and it's for a certain time of day. It helps trigger me to remember that habit. So at 9:30, the alarm goes off. And I tell my kids if they're done with homeschool, they need to go through the chart. And so the chart has two parts. The first part is for after homeschool time. And there is a little checkbox for each of my daughters who are the only ones old enough to clean up yet. My 15-month-old can't follow a chart yet, but he'll get at it eventually. And it says, Have you picked up the and then there's a picture of a table and it says dining room question mark. There's a picture of a couch and it says living room question mark. There's a picture of a bed and it says your bedroom question mark. There's a toy box picture and it says playroom question mark. And then there's school supplies and it says your school stuff question mark. I added the pictures because my five-year-old can't read yet. So that way everybody who can clean knows what's happening. And so they have to go through and literally check off each of those boxes. And then I will take two minutes to just walk around to those different areas to make sure that they did. And I'll say, Oh, that's still out. Make sure you go put that away. Seriously, that took me 10 minutes to whip together. Took me some time of like calming down and thinking about okay, what could actually help? And now it is a system. And since implementing it for the last week, I am so much calmer. I am a much happier mom just from that little switch of passing the baton to them. They have to go do these things, but it's creating a habit that eventually, with time, I'm hoping and praying at the end of homeschool time, they will just naturally know to do that. I won't have to keep reminding it because it's become a routine. Um, eventually they'll hear the alarm and they'll just go do it. And it will be less about me reminding them and they will start to take over the ownership. So that's one thing I do when I get a little bit stressed about something. I'm like, okay, something in our system's not working. And so that's how I problem solved. Another part of that checklist, that little chart that I made, goes with my next daily thing. And that is before any screens, my kids also have to do a tidy. Now I wasn't good about actually monitoring this and making sure it happens. But now that I have that one for after homeschool, I now on the bottom of that chart after also have a little chart that looks basically the same that says end of quiet time because we in our family have a built-in screen time at the end of quiet time when my little guy is napping. He wakes up usually between two and three. I'm getting work done. And so my kids from that time get screens. They do some um about half that time they do learning games, and then the other half they can do what they want, you know, that I've approved. And so before they get screens, they also are supposed to clean up, but they weren't doing a great job. And so now that same chart has a separate section for at the end of uh quiet time, and they need to go check off that they cleaned up outside, they clean up the dining room, the living room, their bedroom, and the playroom. Anywhere they played, they have to clean up. And then I'll take a break from my work for two minutes to just go through and make sure they did remind them, oh, that thing's still out, go put that away. They put it away, our home is tidy again, and they get screens. And obviously, if they won't clean it up, they don't get the screens. And I'll talk at later on in this episode about other things I do when I get some resistance. But that's another thing we do every day. Um, if you don't do screens, you could just build in another, like before snack or before supper, or before they go out to play in the afternoon or or whatever it is. Um, you could build in another time where they go through and check things off. Because when you have kids home all day, you guys know your house feels like a bomb went off all the time because we're constantly using things. And so if we don't have any systems to put it away, if your kids are amazing at remembering to put stuff away on their own without reminders, that is amazing. I have one like that for the most part. But if you have kids with ADHD or they're just normal kids who all they're thinking about is playing and having fun, they're not thinking about cleaning up, um, then this can really help. And hopefully it will build that habit over time. Another thing I wanted to just talk about, we do have a skylight calendar. You definitely do not need one, and I obviously still use charts here and there, especially for newer routines, just because I find that easier than the skylight for some reason. The skylight for us is more for stuff that's already well ingrained, and maybe I'll move those things to the skylight. But for now, having a chart is also like a visual trigger. Oh, yeah, that's something else we have to do. Even though I have alarms in my phone, it's also just good for the kids to see it. So the Skylight calendar is a digital calendar and task uh program, I guess you could say, that we use. And so each child has their chores listed on it. They have things like stay in bed till 6:30. And some things get points or stars and some things don't. Some things are just like they just are supposed to do them, like brush their teeth and get dressed, but some things they do get stars for, and so they have rewards in there, and so my kids will when they do certain things and get stars, they can eventually cash them in for rewards. So we have things like my kids love the video game Toca Boca World or Toka Life World or whatever it's called, um, and they can earn five dollars towards the game, which they love. That's like their favorite thing in the world. So after like, and it's different for each kid. My oldest, it takes a lot more stars than for my younger one. Um, you can also adjust how many stars they get for each task, but I just find that takes a lot more time than just my youngest daughter who's five, you know, has to get like 75 stars for the five dollars. Whereas my oldest has to get like 200 stars or something because it's a lot easier for her to earn stars than my younger. So anyway, and there's just she just is able to do more because she's older, and so um I try to kind of make it fair in that way. They can also earn going out for ice cream, choosing what's for supper one night a week, um, that kind of thing. And so I actually have a whole YouTube video on this system, so I will link that. Video in the show notes if you guys are interested on it more, but that is something running in the background, too, that my kids um can earn stars for certain chores, not all, but certain chores, and this definitely has been motivating them. We've been using it for about a year now, and they love it, they um stay on top of it, and it's very motivating for them. Okay, so moving on to my whole system. So we talked about daily things, and now let's talk about my three-tier tending system, is what I'm calling it. So we have our daily rhythm, but then we also have this three-tier system that kind of goes beyond that. So we have three tiers. So we have daily duties, then we have our family tending hour, and then we have our bonus tending tasks. And so I'll break each of these down. So for daily duties, I look at these as certain things that are happening every evening for the most part. If we have something going on, they don't happen. But for the most part, these daily duties are things that our kids usually write after supper, we remind them, Cake, time to go do your daily duties. And so our kids, we have three kids old enough to do this right now. And so we have split our home into three zones. Now, if you zone clean or something, you may have more or less, or if you have more kids, you can split it up however you want. And I'm sure as our little guy gets older, we'll switch this up a little bit more. But for us, zone one is like our living area. So our playroom, our living room, and our entryway, which is connected to our playroom. That's one zone. Our second zone is our kitchen and our dining room, which are connected, and then our third zone are our three bathrooms. Okay, so each child for a month is assigned to one of those zones. So for example, one child, let's say my five-year-old is doing the playroom, the living room, and the entryway. Then my eight-year-old is doing the kitchen and dining room, and then my 11-year-old is doing the bathrooms. And then the next month we rotate. And so every month there's a new person assigned to those zones. And so when it comes to daily duties, they are responsible for that zone after supper. And there are certain responsibilities they have. So for my um playroom and living room and entryway after supper, they go and just pick it up. They put the blankets away, the pillows on the couch, they clean up all the toys. Our toddler gets everything out, like I mentioned. So I'm usually the one cleaning that up throughout the day. But in the out in after supper, whoever's on playroom, living room, and entryway duty, they will put the toys away, even though they're not the one who got them out. That's just our expectation. Because if something got taken out after we do those tidies that I talked about earlier, then it's just whoever's on that that in that zone is responsible for cleaning it up. So we all end up putting each other's stuff away, which I also think is good for them to see. Like, sometimes we can clean up after each other, and that's okay, because we love each other and we're a family and we're a team. And I'll clean up after you today, and I'm sure you'll clean up after me the next day. And so um, they also are responsible for putting away any shoes that got left in the entryway. I have a sign on the door that says to put their shoes on the rack and their coat away and everything. It doesn't always happen. So they're responsible for doing that, and then that's basically it after supper for that zone. The kitchen and dining room zone, they help clean up supper. Usually I'm the one helping. And so they will clean the table, they'll clean, do a vacuum of the floor, they will help put the dishes away and wash the dishes, pack up food and put it in the fridge, that kind of stuff. So they're just helping clean up after supper beyond like what the kids already have to do, which is load the dishwasher with their own stuff. And then the bathroom helper will go check that there's toilet paper in all the bathrooms. So we have like a little excess toilet paper or storage rack thing in each bathroom. And if there's one or fewer toilet paper rolls on that, they have to completely fill it to the top. And so that's one thing. They also check the soaps to make sure there's enough soap and do a little tidy. Like if there's stuff laying around in the bathrooms, they will tidy that. So that's their job for the bathrooms after supper. And so then they rotate. So some jobs they think are easier than others, but they're going to rotate so it's pretty even. And then my husband will usually help my five-year-old, our five-year-old with her task because some of these things are a little harder for her. And then um also kind of help with the toddler during this time because he's just wanting to get into everything and undo everything we do. So that's the daily duties, and that has helped tremendously, and it's been really good. And so those daily duties and those zones also apply to the family tending hour. So whoever's in charge of that zone for the month has daily duties they do, but then they have weekly duties they do. And so the family tending hour is something we recently started doing a couple months ago, and that was because my husband was always cleaning the bathrooms on the weekend, and I was always vacuuming and mopping the whole house every weekend. And I was like, okay, we have an 11-year-old and an eight-year-old, five-year-old and a one-year-old, and our 11-year-old is almost adult size. She can help with this. And our eight-year-old is small, but can still do a lot of this stuff. And our five-year-old, there are things she can do. And even if there's not, like, it's good to help them and equip them and teach them, even if they can't physically do it all yet. Like they she can't vacuum a whole room yet. It's very hard for her, and she doesn't do a good job because she's small. But she'll be growing, and it's good to still teach them how to do it, even if they can't physically do it yet. And so we decided that once a week, and this will shift depending on jobs and what's going on, but it's typically Saturday afternoon after, you know, our little one gets up from nap because the vacuum sometimes wakes him up. So he'll get up from nap. We'll often have him play in his crib for a bit. He really likes playing in his crib. So we'll put him in his crib or I'll wear him. And then my husband goes with the bathroom helper for that month, and they clean the bathrooms, and they're he's helping teach them how to do all the steps. And then I will start with whoever is the kitchen and the dining room helper, and I will help them and teach them, you know, guide them through vacuuming all the floors, like putting the chairs up, deeply vacuuming all of the crumbs up, and then mopping. And then I will also help the playroom, living room, and entryway person with vacuuming all of that as well, and then mopping any of the areas that need mopping. And so, and then usually once a month, I will also help them dust. And so this is helping. First of all, it takes us about 45 minutes to an hour, and the whole house gets cleaned for the most part. And so we're all doing it at the same time, we're all helping one another. Like I'm helping two of the kids, and my husband's helping one, and we're working together. And so nobody's off playing, nobody's off having a great time while the rest of us slave away. Um, and so it's just something we do together. We're actually guiding our kids, we're teaching them how to do it. And eventually the goal is I will not need to guide any of them. They'll be old enough and mature enough and big enough to actually do the task. And then I can go off and do other things during that time, or I'll be teaching my little guy the same things. And my husband can then be off doing his own tasks too. So we're getting even more clean in the house. So that's what we do. It's worked so well, and I absolutely love it. Um, I mean, I don't love doing it, but I love that I'm not the one doing it all by myself, and my husband's not doing it all by himself, and that we're a team and our kids are learning these things, and they just come alongside. And it's not taking me any more time than what I already was doing. It actually takes less time than when I was vacuuming and mopping everything all by myself, and we're getting more done, and our kids are learning. So it's a win-win-win. And then the third tier of that system is just our bonus tending tasks. So this is just a running list of, you know, deep cleaning the fridge, deep cleaning the oven, cleaning the appliances, cleaning the outside of the cabinets, cleaning the trim, that kind of stuff. Uh, stuff I don't love doing, stuff I don't have a schedule for because I just honestly, if I'm being honest, I just never stick to it because every month is so different. And I just kind of fit them in when it works. But I have a whole list of these things, you know, that I can refer to, especially these are going to be the things that my husband and I do when our kids fully take over the family tending hour tasks that I talked about, and then we can do these things or teach our kids these things as well as we go, and um, it'll just be beautiful. So that's the third tier is just the extra things that need to happen, not every week, but you know, more seasonally or once a month, that kind of thing that just kind of get fit in when it fits. Okay, so let's talk, like I said, weekly and monthly rhythms. So we have those weekly and monthly rhythms like I shared for the main rooms and surfaces. I didn't mention we also once a week have our kids. This is usually Saturday morning. I might end up fitting it with the family tending hour. I just haven't done that yet. But they have to change their sheets and they have to vacuum their room and clean the surfaces in their room. So that's something they do on their own as well. And then let's talk laundry briefly. So for laundry, that's still, I guess, a type of cleaning and a type of chore. So how we do it, and I've been doing this for about a year now, too. We each have a day. So my husband does his own laundry on the weekends, but Monday through Friday, every morning, whoever's laundry day it is, they put their laundry in and I help walk through the process because my two younger daughters can't reach everything on their own with our top-load washer. Like they can't get it all out, they can't get the soap in all by themselves. Um, so I help them. So they bring down their laundry. So Monday is my eight-year-old's day. I help her, and then when the wash is done, we move it over to the dryer, and then she's fully responsible for putting it away. So she folds it, she hangs it up, but I help with the actual washing and getting it in the washer and dryer because she's just not physically big enough to do that yet. Tuesday is my five-year-old, so I pretty much help with the whole process. Bringing it down is kind of hard for her, so I help her bring it down, I help it put it in, I help her move it to the dryer, but I have her actually come with because I want them to learn these things, and then she helps me fold it. I hang everything up for her because that's still hard for her. She's not tall enough, but then she puts everything away once it's folded into the different areas that she can reach. My one-year-old obviously just tries to help by undoing everything I do, and then I put it away because he's one. But he and I kind of share laundry days. His laundry doesn't take up a lot of space, and so I throw his in with mine. Um, and then my 11-year-old is on Thursday, and she fully does her whole routine. Like she can hang it up, she can fold it, she can reach everything, and so she's, you know, does everything. I just, you know, sometimes have to remind her it's Thursday, but she's really good about staying on top of that. And then Friday is usually towel day. I'll go through and wash towels, and then I also will often do a second load. Some days, like we use towels like wash rags in our kitchen instead of paper towels, and so that will often get filled before you know it's been a week, and so I will just throw that in as a second load after the main load happens, and then on the weekends is my husband's day, and then also like our bedding and stuff like that. So that's how we do laundry. That's also a chore that they're responsible for, but I help walk them through when they're younger. So, how do I actually get my kids to do this? So, here are just some practical tips. First of all, um, I like to tie chores, if possible, to something they want. So, like I said, before screen time, they have to go through and clean up everything. Before they go play outside after homeschool, they have to clean up all of that kind of stuff. So it becomes a non-negotiable in many cases because it's just what they want to do. After supper, they have to go clean up their area if they want to go play outside or if they want to read books with us or whatever we're doing after supper. They can't go off to do something else until they do their, you know, daily duties after supper. Another thing that really helps is making it visual. My the first chore chart that I made that didn't go viral, but like I had hundreds of DMs asking me for it was a little morning and evening checklist. It's not even really chores, it's just stuff for my five-year-old to do, like um, take her vitamins in the morning, get dressed, put her clothes in the hamper, brush her teeth, all of that stuff. And then before bed, she just really was not, it wasn't clicking on the skylight for whatever reason. And so she wanted a little checklist. And so I made her this chart and she absolutely loves doing it. I don't know why. She just loves that it's hers, she loves checking it off, and this has really helped her be a lot more independent in the morning and before bed, and she will go like she'll go get dressed, she'll come down, check off, get dressed, then she'll go back up and put her clothes in the hamper and come back down and check it off. Like, whatever, girl. Get more steps in, you know. Um, she loves it, and so making it visual for kids, I mean, I love a good checklist. I love things that look nice, and so it just makes sense. If it looks nice and it's visual, we're more likely to do it, we're more likely to be motivated to do it and want to check it off. And so that has just really helped. Like, that's what I said about the skylight. That if something's not working on there, I like to make a chart and eventually can go back on there. But when it's new, it just makes it kind of novel and fun to have a checklist. And my kids get excited, especially when I laminate it and they get to check it off with the dry erase, like there's nothing better to them. And then another tip come alongside before you hand off. So this is where I would see over the years all of these chore charts, and I was like, how do you just put a chore chart up and then your kids remember to do all this stuff? Like, my kids don't remember to just go do all of these things, and then I'm constantly reminding, and then it's still mine to carry. And so I've realized by having parts of the day that we do things all together, it helps so much. I'm able to come alongside them to teach them. I'm not like losing time doing something else to teach them. We're doing it at the same time. I have nothing else I'm doing at that time anyway. And then they're seeing us all do it together, so they're not mad about them having to go do it. And it just becomes normal and it's building a habit. It's building the habit. Like I'm teaching my three-world, I keep saying, like you have to make stripes when you vacuum. You go down, you come back, and then you scooch over a little bit, and then you go down and you come back. And I taught her how to section off the rugs into four parts, and so you're doing one little part back and forth, back and forth, and then you go to the next little part, back and forth, back and forth. And then she was like singing a little song back and forth, back and forth. She can't physically do it all on her own yet, but she will remember that. And so I'm coming alongside her, I'm teaching her that. And then when she physically is big enough to vacuum the whole rug on her own and carry the vacuum and all the things, she'll remember that. It'll be part of how she vacuums because she's been alongside me doing it for so long. Another tip obviously lower your standards at first. It's never gonna look like you do it at your age when your five-year-old starts to do it. Um, but encourage them, you can go back and fix it, but don't correct in like a demeaning way or make them feel bad when they really tried their best. You know, encourage them, motivate them, tell them you're so proud of them. Tell them, wow, I am so appreciative of you helping. Now I don't have to spend all that time cleaning. Now we can go outside and play, or we can play a game, or we can read a book because I have more time now. And so it makes them feel good and it makes them feel appreciated and needed, and that even though they're not to your level yet, like they're doing a great job for their age. And then keep it consistent. A system is not a system, and a rhythm is not a rhythm if you don't consistently do it. Um, and so trying to stay consistent as much as possible with your new chore system is where it will eventually become a habit. And that is the goal because once it's a habit, we don't really think about it, it just becomes ingrained, it's not stressful. And we want to build good habits in our kids so that when they're on their own, they're not relearning all this or learning it for the first time. They already have a habit and they can worry about more important things. And then, like I said, have a planned time to do it together at first. This has been crucial for us, and this is something I don't see talked a lot about when I see chore charts and chore routines is the actual like when you're gonna do it in the day, because I can't just give my kid a chore. I could maybe give my 11-year-old a chore chart and she could plan it into her day, but she's also very much like me and good at planning and good and at organizing and good at, you know, systemizing things. Whereas my two younger daughters, at least right now, like it would never happen. And then we'd just be frustrated. I'd be frustrated at them for not doing it, and they'd be frustrated at me for expecting them to do it when they just aren't at that level yet, and that's okay. Um, and I am supposed to be shepherding them and teaching them, and I can't expect them to do things that they just literally can't do yet. And so having a time for all of these different things that we do it at the same time, we do it together. We're a team, it really is building that whole team mentality that we're all in this together, we're doing it at the same time, we work and function together, and we can do a lot more together than we can do separately. And then I just want to briefly mention consequences. So, what do I do if they're whining or they refuse to help? Um, and I have recently adopted this new system, um, this new part of the system, because I do have one who does whine and it's very frustrating, and it's something that definitely is like a trigger to me because oh, it just gets to me, you know, when they whine about something that like is not that big of a deal in my mind, and that we all have to do. And so, first of all, if it's let's say it's screen about to be screen time and they refuse to do it, well, then they don't get the screens until they do it, or they may not get the screens at all, even it they'll still have to do it, but they won't get the screens for the day. And that is a good lesson of like, okay, we need to obey the first time and not whine about it. Um, and then also depending, um, I got a bin that I keep in my laundry room. So if they're refusing to pick something up, then it's gonna go in the bin. A bin is some where it's gonna stay until they buy back that item. And so they're gonna still be expected to do what they have to do. Um, but then they also have to buy back their item. And so for us, because like I said, we use the skylight and we use the reward system, they're very motivated by those stars and they don't want to lose them. And so it takes three stars to buy back every item that they lose in the bin. And I haven't had to do this yet, thankfully. I'm sure I will eventually, but that is my like backup plan for if they refuse to pick something up, they still will lose that thing, and they probably will also lose screen time or whatever, if depending on what, or they won't get to go outside that day or whatever. So it's like a double whammy, and hopefully it won't be a big issue. I haven't had a ton of that issue, but that's my plan for if that happens, because I'm sure the time's coming. Okay, so that was a lot of talking about chores. A chore system is not about having a perfect house. You came by my house, it is not perfect, it's tidy most of the time because we're cleaning it up throughout the day, but it also at other times looks like a bomb went off, and I don't have it perfectly spotless and dust-free all the time or ever, if I'm being honest. There's never a time where there's no dust in my house. There are six of us, there's dust in places. Um, but the goal is I'm not worried about it all the time. I'm not thinking about it all the time, I'm not stressing about it all the time. It has become a rhythm that I trust is happening because I have a system in place, and so I don't have to sit there and worry about it anymore. And when I find myself worrying about it, that's when I know I need to tweak something, like I shared in this episode. It takes It takes time to build, it takes consistency to maintain, and it will look different in your house than it does in mine, and it will look different in my house from season to season. But I promise it is worth the upfront investment. When it's working, when the kids just know what to do and they do it, it changes the whole feeling of your home because you're not carrying it all anymore. Start small if you need to. Pick one thing. Maybe it's the before screens tasks. Maybe it's just getting everyone to bring their dishes to the kitchen after meals. Maybe it's starting something after supper or in the afternoon or after breakfast or whenever it works for you that you're all doing together to help maintain your home on a daily basis. All of those things will really help. And then you can add more over time. Do that consistently for a few weeks, add another, and then that is how a system gets built. So before I let you go, I have a couple things for you to help in this area. First of all, I shared about the two different chore charts. I have the chore chart that started all of this with my five-year-old, her morning to-dos and her evening to-dos. It's visual, it's got pictures, it's got words, it's got check boxes, it's color-coded. Um, so I have that. Plus, I am adding the other checklist that I talked about with the after homeschooled tasks to making sure they're picking up the different areas of the home and the end of quiet time chart that all is in one page. Um, those are both Canva templates that I have put together for you for free. You can just go to homeschoolglue.com slash chores and you can download those there or get the link for Canva there. And since it's a Canva template, obviously my kids' initials aren't the same as yours, and what my kids need to clean up and all that will be different than yours, but you can just adapt it to work for your family since it's a Canva template and have that for free as my thank you for sitting through this episode and hopefully uh getting something out of it. And it's a little uh way to jumpstart your chore routine. And the other thing I want to share with you is that this is just one of many systems, and I'm working on something that goes much more deeply into all of this and really walking you through how to implement all of this. But in the meantime, um, I do have my starter glue print that you can download that has five different systems and rhythms that I would start right now if I was starting homeschooling and being home with my kids all day for the first time, because these systems really help with the mental load, they help with managing all the things that we manage as homeschool moms. And so I have that for free as well. You can just go to homeschoolglue.com/slash start to download that as well. So you can have the chore charts, Canva template, and then this PDF, uh, the glueprint starter, starter glueprint that you can download as well to jumpstart some other routines and systems in your home and homeschool. Thank you guys so much for being here. I hope this episode was helpful. I'll see you next Tuesday. Happy homeschooling. I pray this episode blessed you and gave you something useful that will make homeschooling easier or more fulfilling. If this episode made you feel seen or gave you one thing to change this week, would you please share it and leave a review? That's how more homeschool moms who are struggling with overwhelm can find something that actually helps. You can always find me on Instagram at homeschoolglue where we talk simple systems, rich learning, and the real version of homeschool life. You don't need to do it all, you just need systems that stick. I'll see you next week. Happy homeschooling.