The Toya Talks Podcast
The education system teaches us to learn and recall information and at the end of it we are tested and expected to then pass exams. After all said and done the reality is, we are supposed to get a job at the end of it. I was unaware of the difficulties I would encounter at work especially as a Black Woman. How do I navigate work and how do I keep a job? Education institutions do not prepare you for work, racism, bullying, and oppressive managers in the workplace. Where the education system has not prepared you, I will. Toya Talks is a platform birthed on my day to day uploads on Snapchat. I discuss the realities of work from the perspective of a Black Woman and how I have successfully navigated work using my experiences. Toya Talks Podcast covers the world of work and not just the corporate world. Black Women for too long have been overlooked and underrepresented in the workplace. Toya Talks is a safe place and a platform to share, grow and learn, more importantly, educate ourselves and everyone else so we can navigate and grow in the world of work more smoothly. This Podcast contains my opinions and feelings based on my lived experiences, my opinions and my Black experience. My views and experiences are in no way intended to cause offence. Lets put the sensitivity to one side, prepare to laugh, learn & grow!!!!
The Toya Talks Podcast
The Net Is Not Working ( Networking)
Rethinking Networking and Inclusivity in Tech Events
Networking within the tech industry, especially at events targeted at the Black community, often feels more like a social affair than a professional gathering. We voice our skepticism about the effectiveness of these events and advocate for more inclusive and meaningful opportunities that align with the true professional aspirations of attendees. Highlighting the lack of Black representation in senior leadership, we emphasize the need for networking events that facilitate real connections with decision-makers. Additionally, we share our experiences with "Talks With Ash" on Clubhouse, underscoring the importance of respect and relatability in professional settings.
Financial struggles in the UK, from rising transportation costs, are taking a toll on many. We explore the burdens of the tax system, the challenges of raising a child, and the necessity of financial education often learned through modern platforms. Negotiating salary and maintaining privacy boundaries during job applications are crucial topics we address, offering advice on how to navigate these tricky waters.
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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star
Biggest lesson employment has taught me. Number one HR is not there to protect you. They are there to protect the company. Number two document everything. Number three food is not a reward for hard work. Number four do the bare minimum or you'll get rewarded with more work. Number five use them sick vacation time, pto. Number six everyone is replaceable. Number seven keep them emails. Number eight your family is more important than any job. Number nine some of your co-workers secretly hate you. I know that's right. Number nine some of your co-workers secretly hate you. I know that's right. Number 10, never stay at one job longer than four years unless the pay increase is substantial. I agree with that. Number 11, don't let them promote you in title but not in compensation 110%. And number 12, keep your personal life private. Do not overshare and you'll.
Speaker 1:You all know I've been, I've been preaching there for a long time and that was reposted on instagram by muyo caliente, tosha um, and it's tosha with an o on instagram. Hello, welcome to the Toy Sports Podcast. My name is Toya Washington. Here I am for another podcast episode. I say this and literally, as I was switching on the mic, walking to my laptop to record. I was literally because sometimes I have conversations with myself because why not? How are we going into that office every day? How is we actually doing it, like on a physical and financial level? Like, how? Like?
Speaker 1:I think about that and I do get a bit of anxiety. We all know how I feel about remote working and for those of you who prefer hybrid working, but going into the office full-time is crazy, to outside of those roles that don't require you in the office, right? So I understand if you're frontline healthcare professionals and things like that that you don't have, well, you don't well, not in every role, but it's those particular roles. You don't have the opportunity to work remotely and I get all of that. But I'm speaking specifically for the roles that can be worked remotely or on a hybrid basis. For the roles that can be worked remotely or on a hybrid basis, my anxiety and I've realized this and I've come to accept it that my anxiety is associated with what's happening in the world at the moment in terms of I mean, where do I start?
Speaker 1:Just the volatility of going into the office, can't even take your phone out to check your messages, or even god forbid you want to follow google maps because you don't know where you're going, the risk of having your phone snatched. I can't, I just can't. I don't even want to think about it. It just makes me sick that we're living in a society where simple things like that is a big problem. Or are we talking about 13, 14 year olds being charged with murder? Um, knife crime? It doesn't matter the the day sorry, I've just had a flying, yeah. Um, it doesn't matter the time, the day, whatever. Um. Are we talking about financially, how we was affording to go into the office, like monday to to Friday, and then the price of travel is increasing every year. It's just crazy.
Speaker 1:Um, and also as well, like I don't know if it's a post-covid thing for me, but like, from a health perspective, I just don't think underground's quite healthy. Um, I feel very blessed to I only go in probably once a quarter, or if I have to go to client site, which is not very often, but I have to go in and I have to mentally prepare 24 hours before and I said this on Instagram like I feel physically sick when I overthink it too much and I have anxiety and then I start thinking about okay, you know, what am I gonna wear? Like, since having my daughter, it's been even harder to lose weight. People see me and they've been like, oh, you don't, you don't look big or whatever, but it's how you see yourself. So there's the how how do I physically appear? And then the anxiety of, okay, what am I gonna wear? Um, I'm actually going into the office this week for a team meeting and we don't have them very often. This is the once a quarter meeting and I just don't know what to do with myself. Um, it's just weird, isn't it like how, how, that has become a thing. Bearing in mind, before the pandemic, I was going in Monday to Friday, and even that was a lot. I found it quite a lot, and my dad always used to say to me you spend, um, the first two hours or the first how many hours it takes you to get into the office just by traveling, and that alone is work. And then the actual physical getting into the office and having to, kind of like, deal with whatever you dealt with on the train to get there, albeit delays, the stress of trying to get on a train or a bus or whatever the mode of transportation is, and then you have to deal with the office politics on arrival. And my dad always used to say, like that is a lot you know, and when I think about it I just think, yeah, it doesn't go above my head.
Speaker 1:I have spoken about a lot of organizations kind of forgetting all the lessons learned in COVID, and obviously at the forefront of their minds is the amount of money they have spent on real estate. A lot of the leases a lot of the organizations have signed have been 10, 15, 20 year leases. So when people don't go into the office they feel like they're not getting value for money. But no one told them to sign them, them, them leases. I want to speak to the procurement team because I don't know how I'd be doing that without actually, you know, thinking year on year, like what is the footfall, like where's the market research in your own organizations, before you actually sign these leases or purchase building. I just don't understand it anyway. Um, I'm saying this all to say that those of you who are in a similar situation or feel the same, I see you, I feel you, because I feel exactly the same and that's why I've spent a lot of time just sitting at my office space, because it's where I feel comfortable, it's where I feel safe.
Speaker 1:Um, also as well, like, from a health perspective. I've got fibroids and I've got PCOS and it's a lot, especially having monthly periods and traveling into the office. I don't know how I was doing that before, especially my period, because my period is really heavy period pains, feeling sick, and then dealing with the anxiety of getting into the office. You're scared. Are you bleeding, sorry, are you? Um? Have you bled through your clothes, like? Are you leaking all of this stuff? Like, and it was a lot.
Speaker 1:I remember being on my period and not actually sitting down on a seat because I was worried that if I sat down I would leak through. And then I think, oh, my smelling, because I'm on my period, like, and when I'm on period, tmi, I shower like three, four times, like you know, and then being in the office and not being able to do that, it was a, it was a lot. I remember there was one time and there's organizations working for and I actually took um change of clothes so that I could share with it, and then you feel uncomfortable and icky because it's just like you've got to carry your towel around and oh, and I dispose of underwear during my period. It's just the whole thing, um, and I don't know, like what the government is doing. I'm sure the health well, I say the health minister, but I don't know um in terms of people that have like underlying um health issues associated with their menstrual cycle. So, people with picos, people with, by boys, endometriosis and other um menstrual cycle associated conditions, like you know, are we considered to have some form of a disability? Like, how does the medical, how does how medically, do we have that security to be able to say to our employers actually, you know, I need it from a health and safety perspective, even from occupational health perspective. Is there something whereby, for when I'm on a period, I don't come in for five days and it's not seen as annual leave or a sick leave. It's just, you know, part of accommodating me in my employment? I wonder if there's anything like that. I know there's some organisations and they're very it's in the minority which cater to people who have like underlying health issues associated with menstrual cycle and where they take some time off or work from home or whatever the case is. It doesn't affect their annual leave or like their attendance. But there's not very many organizations like that and I think that something needs to happen. Can't be a health minister for nothing. I mean, there's things on a domestic level that needs to be looked at and, to be honest with you, I don't.
Speaker 1:I'm so tired of talking about the government and you know, when it came to the elections I was troubled. I didn't even know who to vote for. I remember saying to to my husband. I was like, like what am I actually going to do here? Like how can you affect change unless you vote? But does my vote actually mean anything? And then you have the new labour government and I we're going to get into some of their policies. You know, it's just. I just don't even know what to say anymore.
Speaker 1:I'm just so exhausted and exasperated with this country and I definitely feel as though I'm constantly thinking why am I here? Like, why am I in this country? Like you know, emigrating, like that Great British Dream that our parents thought of, is actually our nightmare now. And things have changed society's changed, policies have changed, the government's changed and the world has evolved that when our parents were coming over here and setting up home, they were dealing with a set of different conditions to what we're currently living in. And I feel like if our parents can emigrate halfway across the world. We can do it. We don't actually have to stay here, and I think it. If our parents can emigrate halfway across the world, we can do it, we don't actually have to stay here, and I think it should be a consideration for most people, even from a tax efficiency perspective.
Speaker 1:Like it's not tax efficient, this country stops you from becoming a high earner, because when I say stops you, it's difficult to become a high earner in a country where everything is increasing, so what you consider as high earner actually isn't. Isn't, and that's number one. You earn over 100k, you get taxed at a 40 percent bracket, um, but then you're taxed at source, but not not being able to access the things that you're taxed at source for from, for example, for sorry, for example, access the things that you're taxed at source for from, for example, for sorry, for example, the national health service I have. I've I need to have a hysteroscopy and when I had my daughter, there were so many complications with the fibroids and everything. I've had six cancelled appointments for his gossipy. So what's going to happen now is I'm going to have to go private, but I've already paid at source at the NHS through taxes for the NHS service. That has now failed me and has continued to fail me ever since I was 16 years old. I'm now almost 40. So and then the government has allegedly announced and I say allegedly because I haven't seen it, I've read it, but I haven't actually heard them myself. It doesn't mean that they haven't said it, by the way that the way to tackle some of the problems with the nhs, for example, the waiting list, is to now tap into private health care. So I don't know how the government are planning to do that, which effectively affects people who have had no choice to go through private healthcare. Are we now going to be waiting to access it because the government are triaging waiting lists from the NHS to private healthcare? Like, what is that? I'm just tired of all that shit. I'm really really tired. I'm really really tired. Um, anyway, I'm gonna go into some of that little later.
Speaker 1:I had a conversation with my friend recently because she's trying to get into tech. So whenever I see any tech events, I send them to her and I always say to her you sift through these, I see them, I send them, I'm notifting through, I'm not checking to see if they're relevant. I see the headline, I read a couple of sentences and I think actually you know what this person may benefit from this. Have a read and read around in the background Because, remember a lot of these events that happen, you're sacrificing time and time is a commodity. Time is money. And also, remember, you're opening up your mind and your spirit to take in. So I feel like you have to do the background research before you commit to some of these things that are being advertised.
Speaker 1:So, my friend, I sent her a networking event and she messaged me back and she said Do you ever think that some of these networking events are a waste of time? I said definitely and she goes why is it that the networking, the tech events, or the tech networking events, the ones that are more targeted towards the black community, why do they have raves afterwards? So can I be honest with you? I said, listen, a lot of these organisations don't have black people in their senior leadership team. If they do, some of them only have one, which is a token, and let me first start by saying that one is a reminder to us that it is possible. I don't underestimate what that token by saying that one is a reminder to us that it is possible. I don't underestimate what that token or what that one has done to get to where they are Right, and I don't take it for granted, because one is better than none.
Speaker 1:However, if we accept that we're not well represented, why am I going to go to certain black events and I'm not calling black events. We're targeted towards our community, but these black events do not represent some of these organizations you're trying to get into. And bearing in mind, if I want to truly network, to get into a certain space or just network in my space, I'm not necessarily going to go to an event that's a black event, targeted black event, because that's not representative of organizations which are diverse, or they're not representative of organizations trying to get into. So why am I wasting my time going there? It literally feels like somebody woke up and they're like I work in tech. So I'm going to do a black tech event because I'm all seeing, all knowing, because I work in tech, and it's bullshit, it's. I want diversity in these events for me to go, because I need something representative of the organisations either I work for, trying to target or trying to get into, and that may be controversial to some of you, but it's the truth. That how I feel. That's my truth.
Speaker 1:I don't understand how you can have a black tech event, right, and they're doing afro beat party after party. That's, that's, that's shit. This is why I don't go to these events. Because why am I going to an afro beats after party? Please Listen, if you want to do hangout, google hangout. If you want to do a hangout, call it a hangout. Stop deceiving people by calling it a black tech event when all it is is just a hangout to socialise. If you're having a networking event, the socialising is part of the event. I don't need to be going to Afrobeats afterparty as part of the event. I don't need to be going to Afrobeat's after party as part of the event.
Speaker 1:This is what I mean about our community. We can never, ever, ever stick to the topic at hand. We have to always convolute the mission Like, come on, like I'm really sorry to say this right, you're not going to see me in one of these Black Tech events, you're not, you're never going to see me in one of these black tech events. You're not, you're not, you're never, you're never going to see me in these black tech events. And if I was going and they paid me to go as a speaker, I'd say this exact same thing you should be going to events that are diverse, because if you want to understand how to get into, how to network within, or how to like just understand the organization you want to get into, or whatever, just to network, it needs to be diverse.
Speaker 1:At diverse events where the people you're networking with are already in those organizations, do you understand? When you have it? Just our community, our community, are not sitting in them. Senior positions, do you understand? So what are you networking about? What are you talking about? It don't make no sense. We need people, we need to be more inclusive so that we can get into those spaces. And then, when we get into those spaces, we work with the marketing team. We utilize the fact that we are considered minorities to then affect these networking events. So that you understand, so that it's not just our community, because, I'm sorry, we do not have all the knowledge in our community. Other communities have that, have the knowledge, and we need to diversify these events.
Speaker 1:And it's the truth, because I can't go to an event where I'm not going to learn or take something away, where it's not representative of the diversity in the organizations I work in for or with, and that's the truth. I'm not going to an event that has after parties. That's bullshit, you know, but that means we're not on brand. We're not on brands. Come on, if you want to go to a party or a rave, just go to the party. Stop deceiving yourself by using work and employment to now pivot into partying. It's actually a waste of time. I take my career so seriously. I take careers so seriously. You all know this. That's why we have a podcast, that's why we have the toyota brand.
Speaker 1:But because I take it so seriously, I'm not going to waste my time going to these events to rave, because I don't understand why people come here now and say, yeah, but we have speakers from so and so and cool, but the decision makers are not there, or the access to the decision makers are not there. So what are you doing? Do you know what it feels like Community service when we go to share war stories? That's not affecting change. I'm so sorry If you're just saying actually, you know, it's just for networking in the community, for us to see ourselves. That's different. But stop pitching it as access into organizations that you know it's not going to be that. Come on, we need to diversify. Diversify and have diversity in these events that we're we're going to and that we're doing because that is more reminiscent of these organizations that you're going to, are interested in or currently in. That's the truth. That's the absolute truth.
Speaker 1:So for me personally, and when I was speaking to my friend, I said listen, I'm sending you this because I don't hold information. That's why I'm sending you these things. It's not because I'm cosigning any of this. I said be very clear, I'm not cosigning none of it Because you're not going to see me there, so I can't lie to you. But what I will say is if I'll give you an example, karen Brady is Women in Tech. Right, I went last year, very diverse, and you've got big, big, big boy organisations there. That's where we need to be going to those type of events, this one that they call Black in Tech.
Speaker 1:I'm not knocking it, but what I'm saying understand the objective of why you're going to these things. You can't blindly just spend your time going to all these things and then leaving with nothing other than a WhatsApp or contact numbers. For WhatsApp, it needs to be more. Or people to follow on TikTok and Snapchat, it needs to be more than that, like if you really really understand how career planning and navigating works. You understand what I'm saying to you here and whilst it may be uncomfortable for some people to hear this, it's the truth. I'm never going to sit here and lie to you on Beyonce's internet, toya Washington's microphone and everybody's podcasts. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to tell you the truth because, unfortunately, what people are not going to tell you is the reality of when you're trying to pivot, when you're trying to grow or when you're trying to move into new spaces from a career perspective that unless you understand how to navigate on a diverse level, you're not going to progress, because these black only events are quite deceiving in what the objective is. You just go there to hear people talk, but what do you get out of it? What are you walking away with?
Speaker 1:So I actually recorded a podcast episode last year about the Karen Brady Black in Tech and my experience was quite negative there. But what I actually liked and what I took away from it is understanding tech, like really understanding what does tech mean, because everyone talks about tech, but what does it actually mean? Like the different areas of tech understand it, because me, I work in commercial contracts and procurement. That's my division. But actually, on a tech perspective, where do those roles fall? What are those roles? Yeah, and how are they represented in different organizations that deal in different types of tech? So, like you have financial tech, for example, like how does that operate? You've got the technical aspects of tech. So like cloud, um, developers, architects and things like that, like I really understood, I had to go and really understand it and that's what I took away from it. So for me, that was a waste of time, because my time was spent simulating and learning and taking information. So I think what I wanted to do was have a stall at the next Karen Black Brady event Women in Tech but I didn't know. You see, when you have. So if you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans. I never knew that I would be go back into perm. I didn't actually know it. So at the time I was contracting and I think where I was would have been good if I was exhibiting, having a conversation and showing people that it's not just about perm roles, because I feel like the karen brady women in tech, they spoke more about perm roles.
Speaker 1:Um, I need to find that podcast episode. Can you let me know if you'd want it? If you want me to upload, it was uploaded. If you want me to post it actually because from last year, I don't know if you'll find it interesting, but I kind of think it's adjacent to this episode when talking about how to like, how to position your mind in terms of these events that you're going to Now.
Speaker 1:Listen, I'm not against networking, I'm against wasting time. That's what I want to say here. I'm against wasting time, I'm not against networking and bearing in mind, networking is not a comfortable space for me. I'm quite I'm an ambivert. So for me personally, I don't like that. But I understand why you have to do it, but you have to do it properly and correct. So this woman in tech Karen Brady's woman in tech event is networking. It is. It's networking. You get to talk to people. Networking is not about how many numbers you can take away, how many email addresses you can run away with. Networking is not about how many numbers you can take away, how many email addresses you can run away with.
Speaker 1:I don't think that I feel like there's different levels of networking and I don't go into these situations or these events. I say situations, I don't go to these events with an expectation. The only thing I would like is to learn. So if it's the expectation of learning, let that one be the expectation, but outside of that, I don't walk in there with any other expectation and you don't know who you're going to meet. But you have to go to the right events and I think some of you spend a lot of time wasting your time going to the wrong events and so you get yourself caught up in situations. Yeah, I also want to talk quickly. Yeah, I also want to talk quickly still staying on the premise of this topic about Talks With Ash, because I spoke about it at a very high level on Instagram.
Speaker 1:I came across Talks With Ash on Clubhouse during lockdown, and the thing is is with lockdown, we're all locked in the house, so we I think talks with ash was was brilliant in terms of now, the actual talks of ash itself is not brilliant. What I'm talking about is as brilliant is. She saw a niche and she capitalized on it. That was the brilliance is using lockdown to her advantage. The problem she had was that she was always very short-sighted. Listen, let me tell you something. You don't have to be liked, but people need to be able to relate to you and being likable is nice. It's good to have being likable and the conventional like isn't nodding the head sometimes. Being likeable is just people being able to relate to you. Okay, and let's take that on its basic level.
Speaker 1:The issue I always had with talks of ash or ashley, the issue I always had with her, is she had a nasty spirit. In my opinion, she had a nasty spirit. I didn't like the way she spoke to people because I knew if she ever tried to talk to me like that, the way I would drag her post pandemic. She would still be getting dragged. You can't talk to me like that. And the way she used to talk to people was crazy, like it was so disrespectful. The things that she did and deplorable behavior, the disgrace that she brought on herself through. The way she acted was mad and actually how low she was willing to go for a kiki was very disgusting. There were things that she'd done on Clubhouse and attempted to do on Spaces that, to be honest with you, I had me questioning the type of friends she had and then I started to see the type of friends she had and I was like, okay, I can understand why she thinks she can get away with this type of behavior.
Speaker 1:But you see one. You see one thing you listen. When you have a wicked soul and a wicked mind, when you're wicked and you're wicked to God's children, it's like sowing a seed. You have to be careful what you do in this world. You know, I'm not saying people will not have, as my mum used to call it, fracas. People can't have fracas. They can have problem. They can have arguments, they can have discourse. That's not a problem. What I'm saying is how low you are reaching. Like somebody tells you that, for example, like they're a victim of of some crime and you use as an opportunity to flog them. What's that? What's actually that? But the scariest part of the talks with Ash is the gang spirit. It was a pack of them and they used to aid and abet Ashley's behaviour and that was disgusting.
Speaker 1:I remember there was one time I was on their spaces and she was talking about Big Brother or whatever. I don't ever have an issue when someone brings it up, but it's my choice whether I decide to talk about it. I'm a grown-ass woman. I need to talk about nothing I don't want to talk about If I don't feel comfortable. If I don't want to, I don't have to justify it. And somebody had told her that there's someone on Spaces in the Room that was on Big Brother. And there was a guy that I know via social media. He's very nice. He didn't want to say who because Ashley was asking who it was and the guy that was talking knows it was me but didn't want to mention my name and it was very respectful and even when he was talking about the brother, knowing I was in the room, he was very respectful.
Speaker 1:But somebody had gone into Ashley's DMs and said it was me. Um, but somebody had gone into ashley's dms and said it was me. So she basically said oh, you can come up and talk. Oh, you know, I was quite. I didn't say a word. I'm not coming up on your stage to talk. I've been observing you and what I've been seeing is bullshit. So why am I coming there? I don't need to befriend you. I don't need to have this conversation. I'm here in the room like everyone else, jumping and listening, but it's because her spirit was never good. I never. I never went into clubhouse and heard and thought I was just always.
Speaker 1:I think what I was always interested in is seeing how she would develop her speak, her talks with ash rooms, which were based on love island. I was, you see, I'm always interested in how people use their platforms in terms of business. Those things really interest me, um, and she had a good thing going. But something I did always find strange is she was bringing in numbers, actually was bringing in numbers. People need to understand this woman was bringing numbers, but love island never really collaborated not never really. They never collaborated with her. And I did think at the time it was strange because for me, if we're all here to make the money, why is love island not doing like a sponsored collaboration? We're in that era of brands and sponsorships and things like that. I never had anything like that, so I was just like what is this? I didn't. I personally didn't understand it and till this day I still don't understand it. But all the things I have transpired about Ashley is, to be quite honest, unbelievable, unbelievable.
Speaker 1:Ashley has been accused of fraud, theft, she's been accused of a lot of stuff and at the time she said people can get their money back in blood. You see, you have to be careful, especially when you're stealing allegedly, when you're taking things that don't belong from you allegedly. You've got to be really, really careful because when you do that, it's a spiritual. When you take what doesn't belong to you, you're also taking the spiritual, the spiritual woes that went into the sweat of somebody getting that money in the first place. People don't understand the spiritual, the spiritual I don't even know the word again seed you're sowing when you take what doesn't belong to you, because you're also taking on the pain or suffering or whatever that person went through to get that thing that you stole. So you've got to be careful, you understand. So when she said you could get it back in blood, I don't think actually knew what she was saying on a spiritual level, because when I read that I said jesus, jehovah, god, that's the first thing I said.
Speaker 1:Because then what has come out of everything since she said, get it back in blood honey? There's been a bloodbath of information. Everyone's been coming with their bad boy piece of information about ashley. You know, I've been shocked. I've been I've actually been really, really shocked. I've been shocked because I can't believe that somebody can operate in that way. I don't know people like Ashley. So when I hear and when I see these allegations and you go into the spaces and hear the pain and the anger and the anguish of people, or their experiences or people who have experienced her in clubhouse and things that happen behind the scenes, my mouth listen, my mouth was dropping. I was catching all these flights. I said I won't be leaving and the worst part of this is I don't know who's advising Ashley.
Speaker 1:But this statement that she put out recently, and then Ashley has the bold brass attitude to then go on TikTok and be talking about weight loss Like nothing happened, do you know? That is some Donald Trump audacity. I've never seen it before, apart from Donald Trump. There's an audacity that Ashley has here. I fear God. I fear God to be having that level of audacity. I fear God. To be honest, I fear God and my ancestors would never allow me to have that level of audacity because it's draped. It's draped in toxicity. That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:I don't know who are ashley's friends, but ashley's friends, you have failed her. You have failed her. You have failed her because anyone I'm calling friend, I need to know what you're capable of, or hazard a guess at what you're capable of. This one is I can't calling a friend. I need to know what you're capable of, or hazard a guess at what you're capable of, this one is. I can't have a friend like that. If I found out that I had a friend like that me, I would do a spaces to rebuke them. I don't have to, because what's all this?
Speaker 1:But the reason I raise this also is because I remember Ashley was doing the project management masterclasses and I remember there was a lot of people that I knew that were wanting to get into project management, either pivoting or changing professions altogether, and were interested in project management, and there was only a limit of information I could give them. Because I don't work in project management management. I work with a lot of project managers and worked on a lot of projects, um, and I didn't feel like I could give them as much information as somebody who is a subject matter expert in project management and actually held herself out to be a project manager. So when she did these master classes I tell people I say listen, talk to us, has these master classes. I've never taken them myself. I can't attest to the quality of these masterclasses, but I know they exist Because that's me. If I come across information, I'll pass it on to you, but you must do the due diligence. I can't do the due diligence and pass it on to you, because you have to make time to do the work to tell if this is the information that you want to ascertain, right. Have to make time to do the work to tell if this is the information that you want to ascertain, right.
Speaker 1:And a couple of people who had access to master her master classes never said anything positive. So as soon as I, I had two people that come to me didn't say anything positive. So I never, ever mentioned it to anyone again because obviously I trust the people that come back to me and say it's full of shit. But it's now transpired that all of that was shit. The talks with ash talks, you know, when she does the live event allegedly it was all part of a scam to take get people's money allegedly. That is crazy. I can't relate to that level of deplorability. I can't is that a word? I can't relate. I just don't understand.
Speaker 1:And what is more disappointing is ashley had the potential to do big things. She really did because she was onto something. People actually um logged on, people actually listened to her like she could have gone from love island to love is blind to um, married at first sight. These type of shows she could have done and she could have spoken about, and I think she would have done really really well. She held rooms, she could have done collaborations, she could have got sponsors, she could have gone on the shows. She could have done the after you know they do the after recaps. She could have done all of that on their platform as well and got paid for it. She actually could have done big things, especially with tiktok inside the collaboration. She could have done all of that on their platform as well and got paid for it. She actually could have done big things, especially with tiktok inside the collaboration. She could have done. So, so, so, so, so well, I saw the trajectory of where she could go.
Speaker 1:But you see, let me tell you something when you see the trajectory this is what I learned and when you see the trajectory in that type of environment but people are not tapping in, you have to ask the question why You've got to ask questions. You've got to ask questions Because, honestly, ashley, especially because of you've got to think about it she's having bigger rooms on spaces than Love Island were having in their own social media. Do you understand. So that's the measure in what you're measuring Ashley's rooms. But the thing is greed and short-sightedness. That's what that's going to Look at where it's got Ashley. Now Look, if they're not talking about Ashley's job. They're posting up her job on social media, the HR manager and everything.
Speaker 1:If they're not posting that, or everybody who has a story about Ashley, now they're posting and it's all reminiscent of money fraud and stealing allegedly. And what is disappointing about that is, at the end of the day, I'm not saying it's not true. I'm not saying it's true. It's all alleged at the end of the day. But we're not stupid. You know where the truth is sitting. Everyone's coming out with the same story. These people don't know each other. Everyone's coming out with the same story. Can you see what I said, the backdrop of this? I told everybody these events you're going to question what you're getting out of it, because if there is anything you've learnt from Talks With Ash, is that a lot of these events you're going to. Some people are just putting it up for their own ego. You know, for their own ego, because really and truly, even the master classes was smart.
Speaker 1:I'm talking to somebody who has master classes here, but hers are specifically about project management. People were willing to pay all sure to do share information, because that's what I do on my master classes I share information. You're gonna learn something for my master classes. I may be at the point of thinking to myself, okay, I'm going to have to update a couple of them Because life is evolved, things have evolved. There's things I want to add, things I want to share, but my premise of my masterclass, the focus, is I actually want people to learn something. There must be at least something. If you learn lots of things, great, but you must at least take one thing you learned that you didn't know before, that you learn it now you're gonna. You've gone on my masterclass and I've got I've got so many reviews from people about my masterclass.
Speaker 1:I'm comforted by the fact that people are learning. I'm comforted by that that people feel like, okay, you know what that's money well spent. I have so many emails, so many thank you emails, so many people that emigrated as part of jobs, looking for roles. So many people that have used tips. That gives and it makes me happy because I know that the objective of why I put these things out is being realized.
Speaker 1:But talks with ash, I don't know that spirit. You know I don't understand that energy. Well, this is why you have to be critical about the information you take in. You've got to be critical about the events you go to and the money you spend getting to these events, because you're investing and I get it, even when you're going to these talks and these events like you're investing in yourself. But you have to invest in the right things, do you understand? It's not about ah, I'm investing myself on go to this thing, but you haven't done this substantive research. You get there and all your head, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, because I'm with these dancing and singing the objective away or there's even gone. Yeah, you've got like I'm really sorry to say this you've got a Black in Tech event, right.
Speaker 1:Can you please explain to me, maybe backwards, why is a podcaster at a Black in Tech event? Is it because the technology of the equipment they're using to record a podcast? Please, please and I'm not trying to be funny, I'm actually trying to understand, because I would like actual technology companies to be there, because I want to know what's happening and I want it in different sectors. I want it in the finance sector, I want it in the commercial sector, I want it in the teaching sector. I want to understand tech from a diverse sector. That's what I want.
Speaker 1:Am I? Am I being harsh or heavy-handed here? Because I don't actually think I am, because I feel like knowledge is power, but that knowledge has to be substantive and it has to be on the backdrop of of something tangible. So me, I I don't understand and I'm talking as a podcaster I don't know why a podcaster is on the panel on a Black in Tech. I don't understand and I say Black in Tech because that's how it's positioned. I know there is an event for Black in Tech and I don't know much about it, but a lot of these tech events are positioned as Black people in tech. That's why I'm saying this.
Speaker 1:By the way, I'm not attacking anybody, I'm just saying because I personally want to know. Do you think I don't want to go to these tech events? I'd love, listen. I'd love to go to a diverse tech event. I'd love to go to these events. I would, but they need to be diverse in not just the people, but even the information. I need diversity in the information. I don't want to know about Apple's iOS updates. I need something. Okay, thank you.
Speaker 1:Whew, you know what I'm going to call this episode. The net is not working. Did you get it Networking? The net is not working. Anyway, october October's my birthday, birthday month, by the way and I love autumn.
Speaker 1:I am a very much a libra babe in every listen. If I was to born again, I'd always be a libra, by the grace of almighty god, because it's my season, it's not hot, it's not too cold, it's in between, it's balance, and a Libra is the scales and I am balanced. I'm always seeking some form of balance in my life. So the fact that I'm a Libra, it just makes sense, it makes so much sense. And autumn is a balance of all the seasons. And again, balance. That's what I need in my life all the time. Balance anytime. There's no balance, I mean I cannot be, I can't sit still. I need balance. It's like I'm constipated and less balances in my life. Do you understand? Like it's just who I am. I am definitely the scales, definitely talking about balance.
Speaker 1:I definitely feel as though the Labour Party is not offering us balance, because how is Keir Starmer announcing that October, when they publish the October budgets, we're gonna really feel it. He basically prepped us for pain. And I don't know about anybody else here, I can only talk about me. I don't know anyone else's financial commitments or. But one thing I think we can collectively agree on the cost of living in the UK is very expensive and it's painful.
Speaker 1:One bag of shopping you know them bags One bag can cost. One bag of shopping can cost £80. But the content inside is not £80. That's mad. Is it Aldi? That Aldi or L lidl recorded record sales? Of course, of course it's record sales because the personally, for me, I don't like the quality of lidl's food or um audi food, but the way the crisis is, we have to compromise in that, so we have to go there and shop. So obviously record record sales is. Is is there? I can understand it. That onion may look battered, but you'll buy the onion now because you know that onion is 20p. You're going to say that onion is 1.50, so I will buy the battered onion. It should be. We will fry in the same oil, but this one kia summer is now talking. Oh, october, we're going to feel bin.
Speaker 1:I think it was Keir Starmer, wasn't it the Chancellor of the Exchequer? I don't know who it was. It was somebody in the Labour Party announced that the budget in October, that we're going to feel it, and when they said, I was sweating. I was sweating because I know how much I earn and I know how much taxes I pay and I'm not gonna lie to you HMRC, hmrc, hmrc. How many times did I call your name? You people, you people are doing too much and I don't blame you, I blame the government.
Speaker 1:Any government's going to talk about the incumbent government as oh my god, they've done this, they've done this. Now we've got to clean it up. It's always the preface of now how they're going to charge us taxes because they now need to mitigate all the money and that was spent by the previous government. It's all shit. These ones that were saying, ah, we're not going to increase taxes, labor, that's what the premise of what you guys were saying is that you're not gonna increase taxes. And here we are today being told, warned and promised that october is, is, is, is a problem. That's fucking crazy. But what is even more fucking crazy is this this is my view.
Speaker 1:Right, I, I, I, I came like my parents, worked hard. Right, we, we were um working class. Um, my parents struggled. They, they did everything that they needed to do for me and my brothers, and they tried. So my thing is it's a blessing to be able then to go from working class to middle class, for example.
Speaker 1:And I talk about classes because this society we live in, this UK, is built on a class system. Don't care what you try and say about socialism and all of this shit, I'm telling you that the UK work on a class system and that that class is determined on what you earn. That's simple. Kay had to correct me recently because I kept telling him we were working class. He said we're not.
Speaker 1:I actually considered middle class, but for me personally, I feel as I'm still working class, I still know I feel like I'm still working class because of the level of tax I pay and how much money I feel like the government extort from me. That's how I feel. I feel like I'm being extorted because you climb up the financial bracket and then you hit that 40 percent and that 40 percent becomes a problem because then you're not actually reaping fully, reaping the fruits of your labor. And god knows, as a black woman, we we labor. As black women, we labor. So nothing is free, nothing is like I'm now having to sacrifice some of my salaries going in my pension pot. Yeah, like a significant amount of money to go in my pension pot so that I can try and get some tax credit back for my daughter in nursery. That's number one and number two.
Speaker 1:Bear in mind that we're sacrificing this pension pot money for the pension pot. You have to hope that that pension stays viable by the time you retire. That's a conversation for a whole nother day because in as much as people talk about the um, uh fluctuation of the stock market, there's also a fluctuation in pensions. Pension sector fluctuates too. You think, listen, some, some pension companies. You have to hope that they're still viable by the time you are a pensioner, and that's that's the gospel. Bear in mind what people don't tell you the pension they go up and down. It's exactly like the stock market. They're they're investing your pension. By the way. Yeah, are you ready for that conversation? Because some people I don't feel they're ready for that. But yes, in order to be tax efficient at a certain point, I'm having to sacrifice some of my salary to go into my pension pot so that I can get some money that goes towards my daughter's nursery.
Speaker 1:I say all of this to say. The whole idea for me is that you work hard to give your child more than what your parents did, because your parents gave you more than what their parents did, or at least that is the goal to do more. So for me and I'm talking, talking about myself, my family, on a personal level I've worked really, really hard, my husband's working really hard, but I'm just talking about me, from black woman to black woman, right, work really hard, and the view for my view has always been I want to give my child the best of what I can give her, and that includes education. I did not get diagnosed with dyslexia until I was 21. I believe I had dyslexia from about seven or eight years old. So for me, education is really important, but being able to get the right level of education equally as important. So for me and where we live, we have access to certain educational institutions, right, and one of them is private school, private education. So with my daughter, she's displaying certain talents that me and my husband have recognised and on that basis, we've decided that we want to send her to private pre-K or prep school, yeah, and prep school effectively prepares them for primary school, and then primary school is private up until the age of I think it's 11 or 12 years old and start secondary school.
Speaker 1:The government has announced that from the first of general and I and I think that we're waiting for it to get confirmed in the october budget. But what has been put for forward and I wrote this down, I don't want to get this wrong what has been put forward is to I wrote this down because I don't want to get this wrong what has been put forward is to charge VAT on private learning institutions. The Labour government have allegedly and I say allegedly because we are still waiting for the October budget but what is being put forward is that the VAT will raise 1.5 billion a year to fund 6,500 extra teachers. It's these the teachers that are underpaid and unhappy in their working conditions, that then leave to go to the Middle East, to go and teach where they can be tax-free, get good weather and are paid a good money. Are we talking about the same teachers in these schools, these schools that are not funded properly and therefore don't even have the good quality teachers or the good quality access to books and other things they're going to need in that learning institution? And we talk about the same schools, these state schools. Some of them are appalling, and we talk about the same state schools that don't even have adequate equipment, are oversubscribed. We're talking about 30 to 35, sometimes 36, 37 students to one teacher in a class.
Speaker 1:For me personally, if I'm able to afford private education for my child, it's because the state schools are not great, because who really wants to just be paying fees for private education, like we don't have the choice, because the state schools are not good, the state's primary schools are not good. They're not good where we live at all. Like I'm not comfortable to say my, because I feel like my child will get lost in it, especially when we're talking about the numbers in the classes or the access to materials. I'm not happy. So for me personally, I'm in a position where I've made certain sacrifices to give my child a private education. So we're working, we're saving, and then now I have to now find the 20% VAT you're going to charge me on top of that. Not because it's coming back to us as people, it's because the government are now saying they're trying to fill the hole left by the previous government and now they've made the excuse that it's going to fund 6,500 teachers. But what about the teachers that currently are teaching? They're not talking just about how much they're getting paid, they talk about the conditions in which they're working in, ie how many kids are in the classroom. Why can't we talk about, or why can't the government work on fixing, the problems with the actual state schools, one of which are the teachers, or the lack thereof. That's not the only problem. And now us, as parents, who who have come from the trenches a lot of us have come from the trenches.
Speaker 1:I don't. I never had access to private education. I I barely had access to an education that met my needs because I was dyslexic. So I don't even know how I did, how I got through school. I'm not gonna lie, I don't actually know how I got through it. I just know it was very problematic, like I found it quite traumatic. I found learning difficult because I had a learning difficulty and didn't actually get to. I noticed also 21 I was at uni, that's when and it was actually a teacher that picked up on it, a lecturer that picked up on it, and I got assessed. God, thank that lecturer, because otherwise I'd just be moving around still not knowing how I learn or that there is a learning difficulty or just being made aware so I could get to understand how I could learn and use the education system to my advantage. I didn't know that until quite late and there's so many people being lost in the system.
Speaker 1:Then we start talking about immigration in this country. And when we talk about immigration we're also not talking about the fact. One of the reasons why the education system is oversubscribed is because, with the immigration system and the way it is at the moment, you've got to remember it's not just because people think immigration is just people coming over. It's not that the children also have to, the children of people who come over as and they're talking about immigrants. I have no issue and I'm talking as second generation immigrants here. I don't have an issue with people coming here who are coming to uk fleeing war or whatever. I've got no issue with that. I've got no issue with people who are fleeing war and have children and they're fleeing and they need access to education. I've got no issue with that. I have an issue when the government then doesn't make provisions so that all children can get access to education in a safe way and their needs are being addressed. I don't think state schools do enough. So we have a bigger issue and issues that then create a domino effect and I feel like this government are not doing enough and the government before that and the government before that are not doing enough to address those situations and those issues. I think we've got a massive immigration problem in this country and part of the reason we have an immigration problem in this country is because immigration is not being dealt with in an effective manner.
Speaker 1:I can't, I can't even believe rishi sunak thought the rwanda plan was going to work. I can't even believe that he would allow it to get to where it was, that he was still advocating for it. When they wanted to get rid of him, he was still advocating. That's crazy. I don't understand. Anyway, I digress, but the point I'm making with the education system here is you work hard, you make the sacrifice and the goalpost keeps keeps changing and I feel like there is a conceited effort to keep people poor. There's a conceited effort to keep us poor. I'm not lying when I say that with my whole chest and with my whole heart. I feel, like the government, that there was a conceited effort.
Speaker 1:And then, in all this struggle, this, this cost of living, this 20% tax here, this tax here, this 40% tax here. Then you have the monarchy and I read an article that says that the UK's King Charles is getting a pay rise of £45 million. Why is the monarchy not funding the education system here in the UK that 20%? Why can't you go to the monarchy? Because I don't understand why King Charles is getting a pay rise, by the way, and I don't understand. I'm very confused about the role the monarchy plays in the UK. I personally don't understand it. But if we're looking for money because there's what they call a financial black hole, then why can't they go to the monarchy and get some money? Why can't? Why is our money funding a monarchy that is not serving the people? I don't understand. I'm confused. But the people who are suffering, the people who are in the thick of that cost of living, are now being taxed VAT on top of the school fees. We are now doing cost of living prices.
Speaker 1:Have you listen? Do you know how much my iDrive entry level 4x4. And I filled up my tank almost £80 the other day. I think my tank is at 1.4. I don't even see. I think it's 1.4. Almost, I think my take is it 1.4. I don't even see. I think it's one almost.
Speaker 1:I'm tired. I don't know about you. You know I'm tired because you work hard. You think, okay, if I earn more money I could do this. But the more you earn and you get closer to a 40 tax, you were going to pay that 40. That's. That's fucking crazy to me. But these times when I call my gp, they want to give me an ipad for sure. On the phone they want to fight me because I want to book an appointment. These gatekeepers called to flipping gp receptionists want to fight me, but I've already paid to access the service. Then I'm begging you to access the service. Do you know how crazy that is? And then to top it all off, to top it all off, to top it all off, hmrc will now be owing you money and tell you that they haven't got enough stuff to process. You do, because you process that source. You process that source, so you must find the people to process the fucking refund.
Speaker 1:One thing I'm going to say about HMRC, though they owe you money. They'll give you your money, and my dad always told me that, and it's true and I believe it. But it's just. It's just a lot, and this is why I say it's a conceded effort to keep the keep people poor, because I don't see the effort to elevate us and to encourage us to make money and feed into the society we live in. I don't see that and this is why very recently and if you if you don't follow on instagram, you should my instagram handle is twitter underscore washington my daughter had outgrown her clothes.
Speaker 1:My daughter was 16 months and we had clothes from when she was a newborn and this is why I went on social media. I said listen, if anyone needs newborn clothes, please, this is the age ranges that I have Let me know. And people sent me DMs, emailed me, and people sent me dms, email me and I sent a close-up. I don't. I don't have any more clothes to send. I've sent everything out that I have or can do so far and I'm gonna be doing it periodically, because children outgrow their clothes every three months. That in itself is a lot. Children's clothes.
Speaker 1:People say, well, you can go to primark, but when you put these things in the wash and they come out looking like one penny piece, like sometimes the quality is not always there. So for me, I definitely get my daughter quality clothes. I shop in Primark. I shop in Nexon. I shop in Zara. I wait for sales. I shop in John Lewis I wait for sales. I try my best. My M&S do nice clothes as well.
Speaker 1:I try my best to wait for the sales, but I also recognize the privilege of being able to change my daughter's clothes. So I definitely, um, I'm very humbled by the fact that you know my daughter's not growing up how I grew up. We're growing up really different, like. So if I'm able to help people through my daughter, I'm definitely going to do it and I'm so grateful to be able to help the people that I did, and those people like sent me messages and stuff and it was just so nice, like I felt like, and I said it to my daughter she's 16 months. I said it to her. I said, listen, it's always good to give. When you can give, put the good karma into the universe. It's always very good, and knowing that there's people out there that can't afford to close their kids breaks my heart, because I just understand how hard it is in life at the moment when society is difficult, um, and people.
Speaker 1:You know one thing that the government that talk about is actual tackling poverty. We live in a financially rich society. Because of the amount of taxes we pay, this society is financially rich, I don't care what they say to me, but they don't do enough to tackle poverty, and because I feel like if they get to root of poverty, it becomes an uncomfortable situation because those people who are earning a certain amount, you may think they are rich on paper, but the reality is very different, because earning 50k now is not the same as earning 50k about 10 years ago, because what you could afford at 50k 10 years ago is not what you can afford now. And it doesn't help things that people also try to get in the property ladder and, um, the rates that the banks are offering is crazy. It doesn't. And and it becomes ridiculous also because you could be putting down what 20, 40 grand deposit, but the rate that at which you're getting from the bank to pay them back, it's like it's almost becoming more lucrative to rent, albeit that you're paying someone else's mortgage and I get all that.
Speaker 1:But the dynamic of and the financial aspect of actually owning a house is becoming further and further away, because what people will have to earn to be comfortable, to pay their mortgage and live a good life? Go on a holiday, maybe once or twice a year, fill their fridges. The access to be able to do that is is becoming further and further away. So I think there needs to be discussion about actual what is poverty, because poverty isn't just people who are, um, homeless or poor, like poor in a sense, I can't afford. There's an endemic understanding of poverty, like a definition of poverty that needs to be explored, whereby you can still be earning a certain amount of money, but I'm still poor and this is why you know, I had earlier episodes of the podcast where I talk about financial literacy, financial education.
Speaker 1:There's a reason I was talking about them things because I feel like when we're tackling or having a discussion about poverty, the relationship with money is so important, but equally, you can still have a good relationship with money but not have enough of it, and then understanding how to make the money to have enough of it, but then not understanding how to invest or being able to have access to do certain things because you're living in a society that is just so expensive. So becomes a toxic cycle of financial issues and instability and I feel like unless we act, unless the government actually tackle those issues and make things accessible and affordable. We're going to constantly live in a in a society where the goalposts of of how much you can earn to be comfortable keep on moving until it becomes unattainable. It's just heavy. It's just heavy. And I don't know about anyone else. I'm fucking tired Because now I'm having to think to myself you save this, you work towards this, you plan this. Now I'm having to think all right, now I've got to save for, plan for, try and obtain this 20% VAT on top of what I'm paying for my child's education. And I just don't understand. I just don't understand.
Speaker 1:How did we get here? The Tories, you've got a lot to answer for, and Labour, you've got a lot to answer for, because before the Tories, there was Labour. You've got a lot to answer for, because before the Tories, there was Labour. Before there was Labour, there was Tories. Both parties have a lot to answer for, because when you guys are doing your expenses with your 2, 3, 4 houses, some of us are struggling to find the money to get to work.
Speaker 1:On top of that, you're raising the prices every single year of transport and what they will tell you is that we're freezing the transport costs. No, the pay as you go costs. They're freezing the, the pay-as-you-go costs after 9.30. They're not talking about the monthly costs. They're not talking about the costs before 9.30. That's not what they're talking about. Don't be deceived by these people. Shine your eyes.
Speaker 1:But then the question is what's the alternative? The alternative is sometimes the UK is not the answer, sometimes the Middle East, the tax efficiency, sometimes the consideration of actually, where do I actually get to access the value of the money I work? That conversation may be new to her. Actually, why is it that we're not actually taught from an education setting? Why are we not taught the salary sacrifice in your pension to be tax efficient? Why are we not taught that? Where are we learning this? Through podcasts, episodes of information that we're learning? Tiktok. Tiktok is brilliant for information.
Speaker 1:Google, hi Google, are you there? Google, I don't know what you guys are doing with your Google ads and all this rubbish. You need to go and buy TikTok, by the way, because TikTok is becoming like Google Search. Go and buy that, please. Anyway, I don't even know what to say. Again Me. I was about to talk about selling Sunset, but this episode has been very heavy. Anyway, before I close this episode, dilemmas, because me, if I don't do dilemma. Now somebody will come and come and talk all type of nonsense to me. I got a dilemma, I got a couple actually, but there's one I got this morning. Let me read it. Oh god, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Sorry, my phone is playing up. So this dilemma is called ask for proof of current salary and stock options. Hi Toya, I hope you're doing well.
Speaker 1:I applied for a role and the recruiter asked me for my salary expectations. I provided my salary expectation, noting that it was based on my salary and company stock. The recruiter advised that if offered the role, I'd be asked to provide evidence on my salary and company stock. The recruiter advised that if offered the role, I'd be asked to provide evidence of my salary and company stock holding. I have never been asked about this in a recruitment process and was quite shocked, particularly as I and, I imagine, other people do. Is to inflate their salary, to negotiate higher salaries for new roles or choose not to even disclose their current salary. To me, this is an indication of how the company operates, so I will not be pursuing employment at this company.
Speaker 1:However, I thought it would be interesting to share with you in case you thought it would be something to share on your podcast as a discussion point, and I'm intrigued on your thoughts on this. Again, thank you for all that you do for black women navigating their careers. Kind regards. First of all, thank you for sharing this. I'm really, really glad that you did, because I know I've spoken about negotiation, I've got negotiation masterclass. I talk about the science of negotiating and things like that. But let me be the first to tell you, as I've told you in a podcast, episodes about employment agencies. Employment agencies organizations are crazy, especially when it comes to negotiating. I've been on the other side where people are negotiating and the hiring manager is losing their shit because the person has the good sense to negotiate.
Speaker 1:Well, there should never, ever be a time, date, period, event where you should be sharing how much you earn and the stock options as evidence of anything. Tell them. Auntie Toya said there should never be a time when you share your stock options, your how much you earn, so, for example, your payslip or your employment contract with any employer, perspective employer or any no agency hiring manager. You don't share it. That, first of all. That is your private information. Let's start there. Secondly, confidentiality you do realize. If you don't know what to say, let me help you. I've signed a confidentiality agreement with my employer and therefore I cannot share with you my employment contract. That has not only private information, it has company information, and stock options also falls in that. So those of you we have in stock option, you don't have to share that. There's no legal obligation, there's no legal requirement.
Speaker 1:You see, this babe, you did exactly what I would do. There comes a point yeah well, listen, when we're interviewing and when we're negotiating, up until when I accept the role, even beyond during the probation period I'm watching you. It's that interview level. You're going crazy. Don't expect me to accept your job. If you're acting okay, then during probation you're acting mad. I will resign. I will either ask for an extension to my probation or I will resign. I'm that babe. I am always going to be that babe, because I am the architect of my career, not you, I've been told.
Speaker 1:Oh, twitter, but when you show your P45, doesn't it have your salary. No, it just has how much taxes you've paid from the start of your employment to when you left. Your P45 has your job title. Sometimes it has your job title. It has your tax reference details. The only person that has the information about how much you earn, which includes or may include stock options, is you, and you do not have to share it. If that is contingent on an offer of employment, walk away.
Speaker 1:If, if you evidence how much you earn in your current employment as a prerequisite of how they're going to negotiate or what they're going to offer you, it's not worth it. I need to tell you the fact that you know how much you earn is leverage in negotiation, and to effectively negotiate a salary increase or a higher salary, you need leverage. I discuss leverage and I discuss it in great detail in the negotiation masterclass, but let's give you high level. If you don't have leverage, you have no power. If you have no power, you have no ability to effectively negotiate to get what you want.
Speaker 1:Let me be really real with you. There is nothing wrong with inflating how much you earn as part of a negotiation. But be reasonable about how you're inflating how much you earn as part of a negotiation, but be reasonable about how you inflate in it, based on what you've researched the job market and what you know you want. There's nothing wrong with inflating at all, as long as you do what is reasonable or inflate where is reasonable. But there is never a situation in my career and I've been working since I was 15 years old where anybody has asked me to evidence how much I earn as a negotiation point or contingent on an offer or contingent on a salary expected.
Speaker 1:No, and I've already told you that agencies are mad. Already Most of them are more mad because they don't want you earning more than them or they don't think you deserve to earn what you're asking for. So the agencies have their own problem. But hiring managers in these organisations are crazy. When you walk away or you tell them, ok, I'm walking away, they will try and guilt trip you. Ok, maybe you're not being honest. That's why you don't want to share. No, I don't want to share with you because you're asking me to breach my employment contract so that you can feel satisfied that you're offering me what you think I deserve. You can stick it where the sun doesn't shine, then that's bullshit. This is what I say to you.
Speaker 1:Going into interviews is like dating. You need to date far and wide. You cannot just be dating one. You need to be interviewing with many so that when you are now negotiating again, you have another form of leverage, because you are now negotiating with maybe two or three potential employers where you can potentially see yourself and you can use that to your advantage, where we use things to our disadvantage when we give them too much. You'll be on 20,000 or 28,000. They'll say how much are you on? You'll say I'm on 28,201p. You will come and give them the number. Why. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Why is there somebody gonna flog you if you do that? If you don't do it, some of us need to box together, shine your eyes and use your brain. Shine your eyes and use your brain. Well, it seems you're going to be sharing that, or even rounding it up. You might as well give them your bank statement so they can see how much you've got in your accounts. Why don't you pull your trousers down so they can see the color of your undies? Since we're all sharing and caring, come on now off your pants, and that's how I view it. I have you. When you're going into a negotiation, don't go and off your pants. Don't go and off your pants.
Speaker 1:Everybody want, everybody has a vested interest. The organization want to save money. You want to make as much money that if you have an employment, um, if you have, uh, what you call it hr manager, they're trying to to, they're trying to meet their budgets, honey. If you have, um, um, what you call it an agency, an agency is trying to get there as much commission as possible. Some of them don't even act like they're trying to get as much commission as possible something about acting like the ops but the only person who has your best interest at heart is you. No one else. Absolutely no one else. It's only you, and the sooner you rate like you, the sooner you rise in confidence about who you are, what you do and what you have to offer. What you can deliver, the sooner you rise in confidence is the sooner that you start understanding this chess game that we're playing with life, your career, the direction of your career, where you want to go.
Speaker 1:We're living in a cost of living crisis. God knows who is who. Who is trying to move jobs to earn the exact same money they were earning before. Who? Why? Why would you want to do that? Listen? Inflation the cost of everything is going up and you're staying on the same salary. Is everybody okay? You should be looking more or wanting more.
Speaker 1:An organization up that's asking for proof of salary is because they know that they need to give you more. So they need to justify it by saying oh well, she showed us what she was getting before. I'm telling you, right now, no one asking you to prove how much you earn would do it themselves. Is it clicking? Is it clicking? So this babe that basically told them to stick it.
Speaker 1:I'm with you 100% and you did the right thing in terms of not sharing that information and you obviously looked at the situation and thought you know what this organization is for me and I respect it. Listen, I really respect it because me, I'm capable of it. I've done it. I've walked away from things before, like I walk away from things all the time. If it doesn't serve my greater interest, if it doesn't serve my overall career and life objective, I'm fucking walking away.
Speaker 1:I am the architect of my career. I'm confident enough on myself that I bet on myself. And if I bet on myself and I'm confident about who I am, what I do and how I can deliver, you're not going to hold me hostage because of your stupid requests. Since you're asking me to prove my salary and stock options, why don't I prove my morning poo in the toilet. Ah, since we're proving proving, let's prove everything. Should I prove? I have period, everybody's proving.
Speaker 1:What's all this rubbish? We're living in a very, very, very, very mad world, in a mad society with mad people. No one is more mad than HR. Human resources, resources of the humans, but not resources in us. Resources of the humans, but not resources in us. They're not okay. They're not what. Okay If you don't know how to negotiate, there's people that just don't know how, or they have a nervous disposition.
Speaker 1:They just don't know how. They're scared. Go and get the negotiation masterclass. See that negotiation masterclass, not joking with you. If you don't walk away with confidence, then you have to do some work on yourself. Because you listen to that masterclass and you walk away. Nobody will tell you to bet on yourself. You are not going to make money if you don't bet on yourself suffering.
Speaker 1:We started this. I was talking about how people suffer to get to the office. Then you're on the same salary as on before because you've gone to a new place and they want to do something. Do you know something? If you don't like walking away from things, create options for yourself so that when you walk away from one. You're not walking away, you're walking into something else. Stop doing this one in one out business with your job interviews. Stop doing this one-in-one out interview. Even at the point of offer, you should still be interviewing.
Speaker 1:You see me, ah, you're one of my friends. She makes me laugh. She says, toya, one thing I am, I'm a shower for job. She goes, she's a no shower for job. She said toya, if you want to interview me, morning, noon and night, I'm available to you. And I said well, that's me, listen me, I'll interview you.
Speaker 1:Then I've told you people, you, you guys, know how I roll, anyway, you know how I roll. I listen, I could be in a job today. I'll even ask to extend my probation. Listen where I am now my probation's coming up, I think it's next week. My boss is like, ah, he will roll his eyes when I remind him because in his head it's a done deal that I've passed my probation.
Speaker 1:But if I want to extend my probation, I'm even thinking about it. I'm not going to lie. I'm thinking about extending my probation. Why? Because I can. Why Because maybe, just maybe, there's a couple of things I haven't decided, but because I feel empowered in myself because I bet on myself. I feel like I know what my options are and I feel like when you know what your options are and you create options for yourself, you move in a powerful way. And when we talk about powerful way, it's betting on yourself, understanding who you are and understanding that in a society that's pitted off, usually, especially from a career perspective, against black women, when you are able to bet on yourself, there is a freedom that you feel. I feel very free like. I feel so free that if this opportunity doesn't work for me, I can move somewhere else. And I've created enough opportunities through networking, through people or just keeping abreast of what's happening in my industry that I'm able to move around. I can pivot at any time.
Speaker 1:Remember how I opened up this episode. I gave you a quote. Remember every episode leads back to a quote at the beginning of the episode. You have to understand how your career works for you, how your job is working for you and how you're serving your is serving your overall objective. Your happiness is in your hand. The design of your career and your life is in your hand. It's not in anyone and if it isn't, if it is in someone else's hand, that means that you have failed to allow yourself the opportunity to be better and great. That's the truth. That is the truth.
Speaker 1:Somebody else sent me a dilemma and I can't actually find it. I'm gonna have to ask jennifer if she can resend it. I can't find it. Oh, I cannot find it, honey. Anyway, listen. Those who have ears, let them hear. Those who do not hear will feel happy. That is easy. I just want to thank you all for listening, thank you for receiving me, thank you for hearing, thank you for connecting. I really just hope that the podcast resonates. I always say that because it's the truth. I've watched this podcast over the years. Change people's lives and I really mean change people's lives and for me, if it's people's lives, that means it changed for the better. Amen.
Speaker 1:Even when I come here and I talk and I share and I research and I share everything I learn because as I'm doing this research, as I'm learning, I'm exposing myself to information that I probably didn't know before, or building on what I thought I knew, or allowing me to have the opportunity to really explore different things. So I really thank God for even the ability to come on here and share. I'm not like other podcasts. Okay, I'm just not like other podcasts. Like I come here, I show up by myself. I'm by myself. Usually I'm creating, I'm editing, I'm publishing. I'm doing it by myself. Okay, I don't have a fancy jingle. I don't have 100k followers on Instagram, but I've never looked for those things because the mission that I'm on has created so many opportunities for me.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about some of these big organisations doing talks for them or feeding into our focus groups, and I'm getting paid, and I don't operate from a. You must pay me, but God knows that's me too. I'm sending my child to private school. I need the money, okay, and if I have the talent, then why not? And if you have the talent, why not? And if you have the talent, you should get paid for it across the board.
Speaker 1:That's what I believe, because nothing in this life is free and actually we do the groundwork through education, through suffering. I've already laid the groundwork. That's how I look at it. Thank you so much. I just I love the fact that you guys listen, you guys allow this podcast to chart. I see all the charts, I see everything. I'm just so grateful. I'm grateful for the opportunity for us to convene in a safe space and I thank God for the opportunity to be able to be free Free in our experiences so that we can learn and be better. And I appreciate each and every one of you for your love, your prayers, your guidance, everything, and I really, really hope you take away, you share this in your group chats. You continue to talk.
Speaker 1:The podcast may not come out every week like it used to, but the catalogue of episodes is enough. It's enough, I know it's enough. Please, if you're new to the platform, go to the old episodes, experience information. Then I've just, I've just given my all to the podcast, like I feel, like I've given, and I give every time. That's why now you get episode, maybe what? Twice a month, three times a month, if you're lucky, because I definitely feel like I'm not going to come here and just talk for the sake of it. I'm going to come here and talk when there's a message to be passed. That's it, because the value is in the content and the content is for your choice if you want to consume it or not. Can you please go and watch this season's episode of Selling Sunset? Go and watch it. We'll talk about it next time.
Speaker 1:Finally, chelsea has understood the assignment. She's understood it. She's understood the assignment. I'm gonna just leave it like that. Um, if you want to follow me on social media, I am on Instagram, toya underscore Washington, and my page is private. I will decide who I accept different requests on. That's true. That's how I'm moving now.
Speaker 1:I'm on TikTok, toya underscore Washington, as it knows. Toya Washington. All one word on TikTok. I'm going to be recording some content. This week as well. I'll be posting. I'm on Snapchat, but I'm hardly on there, to be honest. But the reason why Snapchat will always be in my heart is because it was the birthplace of the Toya Talks platform. So, toya underscore Washington on Snapchat.
Speaker 1:If you also want to send me a life related dilemma, as just remember, we usually post here podcast episode twice a month. So just knowing you're sending this instantly in the subject, just put that it's a dilemma. Your anonymity will be protected and, um, the next episode, I will read it out up, you know provide you with my opinion and, hopefully, a solution that is satisfactory to you. If you also want to leave a comment on Spotify, you're able to do so and I'm able to reply now as well, and also I do some polls on Spotify. Yeah, so I really like how the pod, like how they as a platform for podcasts, how the way they've developed it in Spotify is actually really good.
Speaker 1:I know that you can leave um rates and reviews on Apple um podcasts. I read them. I can't reply. Please go out there, listen, share, subscribe to the podcast, continue to support. I appreciate you. Look after after each other, look after yourself, focus on your focus and I'll see you in the next episode of the Toyotalks podcast. My name is Toya Washington and you have been listening to the Toyotalks podcast.