The Toya Talks Podcast

This Is Not The Time For Doughnuts

• Toya Washington • Season 2 • Episode 161

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Racial abuse and exhaustion are not just buzzwords but lived realities for Black women in the workplace. Join us as we mark the four-year journey of the Toya Talks podcast, reflecting on the emotional and societal challenges that Black Women continually face. We underscore the importance of community support, vigilance, and documentation as essential tools in the fight for dignity and respect.

Witness the power of community mobilization in action, highlighted through the story of Feyi Flowers, a small Black-owned business allegedly facing appropriation and erasure by a larger company. This episode unravels the layers of business colonisation and celebrates the resilience of Black entrepreneurs who fight for recognition amid adversity. Noteworthy figures like Stormzy illustrate the strength of solidarity, while we navigate the political currents stirred by Kemi Badenoch and Kamala Harris’s political journeys, shedding light on the complexities of identity and perseverance.

From the high stakes of political identity to the personal challenges faced in professional spaces, this episode is a testament to the demand for excellence expected from Black Women. We explore the resilience required to overcome systemic biases, the significance of assertiveness in career management, and the necessity of confronting unfair labels in the workplace. Using stories from pop culture, like Drake's ongoing quest for validation, we delve into the intricate dynamics of identity and acceptance that echo through both personal and professional arenas.

Referenced Podcast Episode: Closet Racist https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WV3XJTNC5Xhm7q9Ry3BYu?si=xP93poADSESgNNYL5HHQTg

Feyi Flowers - Black Owned Business.
Instagram: @feyiflowers

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Cc: toyawashington10@gmail.com

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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

Speaker 1:

For us, for black people in this country, excellence is the base. That's the base. The goal is exceptionalism. That's the goal you have to walk in today, where there's a constant reality that you are merely tolerated. Our fight is not over, but take the time to not be okay. By Amalekan Noel. The podcast opener was by Dr George C Fraser, ceo and founder of FraserNet Inc.

Speaker 1:

There are so many topics that we're going to be covering in this episode. I've been really really looking forward to recording, but before we get into any of the topics, I think it's really important that we just have a one-to-one come like one-to-one in the office. The Toy Talks podcast is four years old. My first episode was, I believe, on the 1st of January 2020. My first recorded episode was December 12th 2019. And I did not go live until the 1st of January.

Speaker 1:

I remember it really well because I was in Miami at the time and I had been going to and fro about actually even doing a podcast. But I had used Snapchat at the time to almost like a 24 hour podcast and I recognised the need for the Toya Talks platform. We were discussing the world of work, I was sharing my experiences and, for those of you who have followed me, followed my story from my Ben TV days. You know me really well Well, as well as could be expected on social media. But what I mean is I wasn't handed a blank cheque. I've grafted for everything and I've done so being really transparent about my journey. But I also have to be transparent that I've had opportunity to reflect this year. I used to record once a week and you know we cover so many topics, uh, you know, as we guide, teach, support black women how to navigate the world of work. But something that I feel like I underestimated and something that I feel like maybe other people hasn't considered. But my good sister Nadia said to me and she has said many times is when I'm talking about topics and drawing from my experiences or even drawing on the experiences of others, I'm also re-triggering myself when these situations are directly related to me and I never really sat in that. But it's heavy to rehash traumatic situations and talk about how I navigated it and where I am now. And whilst it it teaches and it also inspires, I'm re-triggered. I think also as well, and I think, as Black women, you can relate, we can all relate to this.

Speaker 1:

I'm tired. I'm tired of the racial abuse, the racial disrespect, the societal disrespect of the racial abuse, the racial disrespect, the societal disrespect. I'm tired of the media that continues to re-trigger us any time they think that a Black woman can be disregarded in the way that they do. I'm tired of constantly navigating the workplace and not being able to relax or rest, because as soon as you do that, you inadvertently let your guard down and then the people you're working with will use it as an opportunity to take advantage. I'm tired of reading the experiences of my fellow black women in which we are going through so much, a lot of the dilemmas I get. I can hear the pain in the words and I'm an empath and that is also quite a weight to carry. When I'm giving advice, when I am listening, I'm taking that emotion in from the person that's communicating that and that's really heavy and I'm not complaining, I'm just very aware of how heavy it is to be a black woman In every life, at any given time, at any given day. I would always be a black woman, but it is very tiring being a black woman and I feel like even if I was the, or we, or some of us, were the type of people who would just take abuse, take disrespect, take negativity and say nothing. You would still be exhausted anyway, because it's still something that we are having to take and consume. So you know, devising and understanding ways to navigate would be equally as exhausting as saying nothing. I just wish, as Black women, we were treated like white women and given and afforded the right to have the level of fragility white women do, or considered emotions that white women do, and the fact that we're not considered in that way is also very exhausting.

Speaker 1:

If you follow me on my instagram, I shared um an incident that happened in blue water, kent, with my, where me and my friend were racially targeted and racially abused whilst my daughter was on my hip. It was macroaggression. It was racial abuse because we were the only Black people, plus one other Black family. We were the only Black people there and we were mistreated because we were in a queue in front of these white people, because white people are conditioned to believe that black people sit beneath them, behind, and we were in front. So the visual representation of that triggered these two white women and it could have turned out to be a very dangerous situation. But you better believe I protected my child with every fiber of my being. But it was still exhausting as a black woman, that going out to a Christmas show of Elf in the Shelf could ever be reduced to the situation in which it was, and I just thank God almighty, as with my friend who is a fellow black woman, and we had each other's backs and I was always worried. I've been worried about how my daughter was affected, because she was affected by what had happened and her reaction broke my heart.

Speaker 1:

But I have also learned from that situation and this is what I'm going to say my fellow black women, in as much as I teach you all in the world of work to build those burn folders, build those feedback folders. Make sure you document everything that is true in life in terms of being outside of the workplace. If you find yourself in a situation that is uncomfortable or could go left the potential to get your phone ready and get ready to record, get ready to defend your phone, because it will be you will be attacked for having a phone, because a lot of these white people do not want documentary evidence of their behavior and this is why I keep saying to people everyone's talking about edl and you know, uh, white people. A lot of these people are ceos of your companies. A lot of these people are holding director titles in your companies. It's time to name and shame, because we cannot operate from a space of not being safe in the workplace and then not being safe outside. Do you know?

Speaker 1:

I saw something online today where a woman, um recorded a man for harassing her on the street and he he was harassing her. She recorded him, um put the recording on social media to ask people to help her find who this was so she could call the police. That's exactly what happened. This man was arrested, can you believe? The police then contacted the victim and asked her to hand herself into the nearest police station. Because the accused perpetrator of her harassment is counterclaiming harmful impact of her posting the video on social media and that it has directly affected him. She is now facing charges. This is the world where this is happening, not saying the world we're living in. This is the uk we are living in.

Speaker 1:

So I'm at that point where, at the risk of somebody then counter claiming, uh, the impact of the video that I would have posted on social media, I need my evidence. I'm willing to take the risk because what happens is everybody's blind. When you're outside there in the world, people are blind to what white people do, especially because white people are not stupid. They're not going to come out and call you the N-word. What they are going to do is racially discriminate against you in other ways. Evidence, because everybody goes blind to the discrimination and mistreatment of black women. Nobody sees and nobody witnesses, but what they do see and what they do witness is the reaction of the black woman when she's defending herself.

Speaker 1:

So what we're going to have to do is build documentary evidence in situations that are likely to, or that are continuously snowballing or likely to escalate. We need to be ready to take our phones out and record. You need to be able to record what is happening, because a police officer will approach you and in most circumstances, they will not take the word of the minority who happens to be a black person. They are likely to take the word of a white person who they believe is telling the truth, because, of course, black people are incapable of reciting a situation that's happened. We're not allowed to be victims and it stops. We need to get ready to take out our phones and record, because that's not only going to save lives, that's going to save us a lot of time in trying to just try to explain certain situations. Save us a lot of time in trying to explain certain situations. When you're looking for a witness that suddenly doesn't see anything. Your phone is going to be your witness and you have to be able to record everything. That is the best advice I could give.

Speaker 1:

So, in the time at which I have recorded my last recording, I believe was the 15th of November, which feels like so long ago. I can't even lie, but in the space of several weeks, kemi Badenoch has become the leader of the Conservative Party. Kamala Harris has lost the presidency to Donald Trump, who will be taking office in January 2025. Donut Time has been a fall. Yeah, the company Donut Time has been a fall. Yeah, the company Donut Time and Drake has filed two lawsuits against UMG, who happen to be the Kendrick Lamar's record company. In the space of a few weeks, these are all the things that have happened, and let's get into it. Donut Time, now Donut Time.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to be really honest with you. I don't like their donuts. I think their donuts are nasty. Sorry, but I do. I prefer Crosstown, but in any case, both companies, their donuts are expensive. But we're talking about Donut Time.

Speaker 1:

There is a company called Fae Flowers. Fae Flowers is a florist company. They're very like indie florist company, very nice, very on brand for soft girl life and this young lady shared on TikTok yesterday that the owner of Donut Time had started following her company on Instagram, fae Flowers and she was just so excited because a multi-million pound company like that recognising her company was huge for her Young lady doing really well but building her business as a small black business owner. He watches all her stories and she's posting stuff about her business, about her day-to-day, about her product line launches, you name it. He's, he's seen all of that. And then the owner of donut time then decides to purchase from her brand and she's so excited because it's like again, recognition and being seen and as a small business owner, I completely understand it and, being an ethnic minority and a small business owner, that would be huge. But what she did not foresee was that said business owner of donut time would then go on to launch his own like for like blue, using her company as a like for like almost identical blueprint to his flower company. He then registered it. Actually, I don't even think he registered it? Does he register it? I can't remember if he registered it at the company's house.

Speaker 1:

However, it launches, I believe, the 11th of November and she's distraught because he's posting pictures that are almost exactly alike as hers on this new flower company of his social media. And then she takes the social media to provide us evidence of everything. So she takes screenshots, she takes clips of when the company started, him following her, the purchase, him ordering from her company and literally it was like receipts, screenshots, evidence, receipts, screenshots, evidence, receipts, screenshots. Do you remember? I'm taking that for the real housewives or something like city honey. I love that clip receipts and I love the way this young lady faye flowers. She takes us and she give us evidence, evidence, evidence, evidence. And what I loved was how, as a Black community, we mobilised and it started off with Stormzy. You know what I love about Stormzy? Stormzy's for his community.

Speaker 1:

Stormzy is not a, he's not performative. He creates this scholarship for Black students in Oxford and despite obviously, obviously, white people, as they do, centering themselves. Oh, but they're underprivileged white people. Why are you doing? Um, uh, why aren't, why aren't you doing something for us with oxford? It's like it's not about you, babes, it's not about you. And that's what I find with white people. They always want to center themselves when it's about black people, but it's always about them. And this is and I believe this is how a lot of white people they always want to center themselves when it's about black people, but it's always about them. And this is, and I believe this is how a lot of white people are being conditioned that they, they are superior, they are first and they should be considered always. But that's not the reality of what life is anyway.

Speaker 1:

So stormzy then sees her story on tiktok and then reposts and basically says he's gonna to purchase a hundred people flowers from Faye Flowers and all the media outlets started to pick it up, like the shade borough started to pick it up um her story, and we all as a community mobilized and surrounded her people, started ordering flowers. I didn't even know her flowerfawa company existed. So for me, I always send flowers to my friends and stuff. So I'm definitely, definitely going to be using fae flowers and I'm going to leave her handle in the show notes description. Because this is what I mean when I say mobilize, protect and advance. We need to mobilize and come together as a community and we need to be able to protect our own and advance. We need to mobilize and come together as a community and we need to be able to protect our own and advance in. And when I say advance is using our platforms to advance this person who is being disadvantaged. That is what I mean by mobilize in advance. And you know people.

Speaker 1:

There was a lot of debate on social media about what had happened, but one thing is for sure colonization is in their dna. What that white man did, the owner of donut time is he colonized her company. That's what he did in replicating it almost identically. His colonization, yes, in his DNA, because he thinks he can do that. He thought that he could abuse his position as a multimillionaire of a donut chain company to replicate.

Speaker 1:

You know what the worst is? He didn't just think of it like one day and it happened. He did market research. He ordered from her her. Do you know how mad that is? I'm not. I'm not lying when I say my skin. I had the hairs on my skin stood on end because I thought how much planning must have he he been in to then get to a point now where you're getting from her with the sole intention is to rip her company off. He didn't pay flower. He didn't pay. Give her her flowers, no pun intended. But he didn't even acknowledge her greatness. He didn't even repost. I would have more respect if he reposted her company. He could have collaborated with her. Donut time meets fade flowers. They could have done something together. A photo shoot, something where he could have done something together. A photo shoot, something where he could have poured into her and given her support. But rather than that, he decided to rip off her brand because it's cheaper for him to do that than to pour into our community.

Speaker 1:

Then Donut Time releases a statement that I cannot find anywhere because it has been pulled, because the backlash backlash of what donut time did is more than they could have ever expected would ever happen. Because, you see, people expect our communities to be fragmented, because we are fragmented. So when we do come together, they don't know what to do. And this demonstrates the power of the black community. When I say black power, it's the power of the black community. When I say black power, it's the power of the community to unite and come together. But unfortunately our community is so broken that coming together doesn't happen all the time. But one thing I'm going to say for sure is the power of social media is so powerful that we have to now start utilizing it to start advancing ourselves. Because, I'm telling you this now, before social media, a lot of people banked on oppression, because you can oppress people in silence or oppress people where there is no stage. But social media is a stage in which, especially TikTok to advance small businesses, to advance businesses who maybe need help or whatever is, or just awareness that a brand exists, and I think this is an example of if a black community come together on what we're able to do.

Speaker 1:

She has now gone from I think she had like 5k or less than 5k to now 15k, um followers on instagram. Let me just have a look on my instagram. I'm just so proud of her and she's so humble. Look at that. 17, 17 300 followers on instagram and she I think she had like two, two to five thousand before. I'm just, I think this is brilliant. Um, I'm gonna read a statement that she published. I don't know at the time. This happened right, so she's posted on TikTok, then she posts this.

Speaker 1:

The past few days have been some of the most challenging I've faced as a business owner. Not only did, I have to make the tough decision to close our concession on Oxford Street. But I've also had to confront a harsh truth as a black female founder, this journey is even harder than I imagined. Earlier this year, I took a leap of faith and left my job to grow Fae flowers. Since then, I've poured my heart, soul and every penny into this business, all while juggling single motherhood. But on Sunday I discovered that a large company has been following my journey, only to replicate it using the resources and capital that I simply don't have. Replicate it using the resources and capital that I simply don't have. I'm not sharing this for sympathy, but to shed light on the struggles many small businesses face. Larger companies often dominate the market, leaving original, hardworking entrepreneurs fighting to stay visible.

Speaker 1:

To everyone who has supported me by watching my TikTok videos, thank you. I have been overwhelmed by your responses. Many have asked how they can help and, to be honest, fae Flowers needs a business investor who believes in us. I can't go head to head with a multi-million pound brand, but with the backing of an amazing investor, I truly believe Fae Flowers can thrive. Investor, I truly believe Faye Flowers can thrive. If you'd like to support, please tag Grace Beverly, emily Grady or Jam Jar Invest to help me get their attention and share my pitch deck.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for standing with me on this. Thank you for standing with me on this journey. It means more than you know Faye Flowers. She's so humble, she's so hard working and it breaks my heart that a company like donut time would even attempt this. And the thing is, if we were united as a community, they wouldn't even dare because they they would be aware of the backlash. But in a way, sometimes being underestimated is not necessarily a bad thing. By underestimating our community, they sought to make another small business invisible by replicating everything about fave flowers, only for it to be thrown back in their face with the backlash. That happened as a result of shedding light on what was happening to her small business that she had sacrificed and invested so much time, money and effort in. I, for one, will be buying from fae flowers and I'm so, so proud of her. So if any of you know her, please forward the podcast to her and thank her for setting the example to us about how to amplify, amplify and use your voice. And as a community, we did good. We did good because I use my platform to raise awareness as soon as I found out about it, and I definitely will be spending where I am represented and celebrated Woohoo Fae flowers, okay.

Speaker 1:

So what should we get into first? Because, okay, okay, kamala Harris and Trump. I'm not going to spend too much time on this, but this is what I'm going to say. Kamala Harris is not a Black woman. She's never professed to be a black woman. She hasn't claimed to be a black woman. She doesn't purport to be a black woman to garner a certain vote from the Black community and exploited the use of identity in politics. In my humble opinion Now, kamala Harris has always referred to herself as a mixed race woman. She embraces being mixed race, but a lot of the campaign was also based and spoken about her racial agenda.

Speaker 1:

I think what we need to learn from what's happened in American politics is this Donald Trump has been campaigning for the presidency since he lost to Joe Biden. That's four years in which Donald Trump has been campaigning for the election that he went up against with Kamala. That's four years. Kamala had 100 days. She was always going to lose days. She was always going to lose. Now Biden stepped down from the race when it was far too late for Kamala to turn it around, and this is what I humbly believe. I believe that If the Democratic Party had primaries in which the party could almost elect its representative that's effectively what I mean by primaries they could have been a show in which they take the public, the American public, on a journey where they feel involved in actually selecting the Democratic representative, and then they could have sold the story of whoever that person was and have the public invested in, then compete for that representative, then competing against Trump for the presidency Time, and then that person more than likely would have won or come a lot closer than Kamala. But Kamala was always disadvantaged. She had 100 days and it wasn't enough time for people to get to know her.

Speaker 1:

A lot of the critics were saying you know, they don't even know who she is, they't know what she stands for and, unfortunately, whilst the biden administration is still in power, how do you expect her to distance herself from some of their failed policies that have now become topics of discussion within the part, within the presidential race with with trump? It's literally competing with one hand behind the back, and I think the lesson here and the life lesson here for all of us is this Time is always of the essence. If you don't get something, if you don't get a role, you can't just chuck in. You have to keep going because not a lot of people have time or the opportunity of time to continue. You're not always going to get the yes, sometimes you're going to get the no, but you have to stay the course and, irrespective of what I think of trump some of his you know ideologies, his policies, some of the really racial, disturbing things he has said and a lot of the policies that, to be honest, are just disgusting you have to rate respect and rate his commitment to stay the course.

Speaker 1:

For four years he is a convicted felon. He has been investigated for so many things. He is awaiting sentencing on on one case. Like we're talking about somebody who doesn't even have the academic credentials or the experience to be considered the president of the united states. Yet this man believes in himself more than anybody, and I respect that. Because if you are living in a society whereby you are not respected and not regarded, if you're living in a society whereby you are not respected and not regarded, if you're living in a society where they have discredited you, you've got two options to succumb to the weight of being discredited or to fight. And whatever you say about trump, he came out of the gate swinging when he lost and even when he lost and everything that happened, the insurrection I I just think was disgusting. But take that aside for a second and look at him as a person who is not only who is not only bold. He was committed to the cause of becoming the next president of the united states.

Speaker 1:

I think it's important that we recognise that silence is not going to advance your career. Silence is not going to allow you to be seen and to be honest with you. Success should be adjacent to our ambitions. Like mediocrity is not afforded to Black women, because we cannot be mediocre. Um, dr fraser, in the opening segment of this podcast, talks about excellence being the actual point of entry for black women. And, as a woman who has navigated and continues to navigate the world of work like we all do, and being quite senior in my profession and in my organization, I'm literally here to tell you that, as black people, we're still in the minority in a lot of our workspaces and in my company that is true, like it's diverse, but in senior positions there's a minority. We're in the minority within my actual project. I'm the only black woman. We have over 150 people on my particular project. I'm the only black woman on my project. That's crazy. That's crazy, especially when you're dealing with a huge company. That's crazy.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying or blaming. I'm actually saying that the point of entry for black women has to be excellence. Because mediocrity is afforded to us. The only option has to be excellence. We don't have an opportunity to be mediocre and as much as they don't many of them don't want us or don't like us they want excellence. At the end of the day, they want things delivered and done properly. You know, the average black person that I meet in my field, just even on a professional level, is excellent because we understand that we have to be better than three, four, five times over. So being or mediocre or average, when have we ever had an opportunity to be average and be considered in this, in those same spaces? It doesn't exist.

Speaker 1:

Excellence has to be the point of entry and I'm being really serious when I say this. If you're not willing to adopt excellence and walk and embrace excellence as a badge of honour, or you're unwilling to be the best and the subject matter expert, that mediocrity that you think you can settle on will be very uncomfortable for you. Because if mediocrity is not afforded to you but you're sitting on it, who is then going to govern how you are mediocre? It's the white person in these white dominated spaces who don't want you there in the first place. And I'm not saying because if you're, you know best in class subject matter, excellent or excellence that you're not going to come up against issues. I'm not saying that. But we're navigating. We have to navigate from a space of obtaining excellence to be able to either make changes, push forward in our career and obtain what we deserve, which is the finances, and have and have the opportunity to be able to break barriers. And I'm not saying it's your responsibility to to then find other black people to open the gates to, but it means not being a gatekeeper and it means being open to the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect employer or a perfect situation. But excellence has to be the point of entry, because we are from greatness, we descend from greatness and we descend from greatness. No, we ascend into greatness, not descent. We come from greatness but we continue to send in greatness, because what is the, what is the alternative? Sending greatness, because what is the? What is the alternative?

Speaker 1:

Part of my role is um. I'm on a project. So just basically I'm working on a project and we are consulting. And if you've worked in a organization, a consultancy organization, you kind of know how it works right. So if you're not put or deployed on a project you're benched until you are deployed and then when you're deployed now you'll meet different people and basically when you wrap up a project then you move to the next project. Is what should happen? You should. It depends on people's organizations, but my organizations. You shouldn't be bent for more than two weeks without a project and if you are, then you know like you have to be kind of deployed in one that's probably already in situ as opposed to a new project if one hasn't come up. So in this particular project I'm on um. You know you're dealing with project managers, you're dealing with technical architects so many and obviously commercial um and commercial contract management is what I fall into. Right. So I get on really well with my project team and I think part of it is because I understand especially being a contractor for many years is how to navigate.

Speaker 1:

I think contracting is probably one of the best things I have ever done with my career, because you're able to recognize fires, know or have a thereabout view about how it needs to be put out from your perspective anyway, and also as well, I think contracting gave me the opportunity to really assess people really quickly because you know you could be on a contract for three months, you could be for six months, two weeks, one month, so you work at pace as a contractor. And also as well, I think working as a contractor you're effectively working for yourself, albeit through an agency, through an umbrella company, but the point is you're treated differently so you operate differently, and I've taken parts of my contractor mindset into my perm role and working in a consultancy. It almost replicates contracting in a way, right. So I have been there since March and I'm still trying to get the lay of the land and understand the ecosystem that I'm working in is really important, especially as I'm navigating in a permanent, like a permanent role, which I haven't done in a really long time, but we've previously spoken about that.

Speaker 1:

So we was in an internal meeting to review and summarize kind of points of actions, escalations. It was an internal meeting so as I joined the call we hadn't started yet, as in the meeting, but people had joined the call, so there was a few other people and a project manager then says hi, bad cop. And this was in response to me saying hello to everybody, so clearly he's talking about me. Now you've got to be really careful because everybody will pin things down to banter and jokes and I the word banter is banned from my vocabulary. I don't even have people around me that uses the word banter because it's full of shit, it's bs. Banter is a very problematic word and I hate it. It doesn't even make sense. The word banter, it's foolishness, my opinion.

Speaker 1:

So when he called me bad cop, I could feel the hair on my body stand up because as black women, we understand labels and how they're used and actually the microaggressions of labels. Bad cop, not good cop, bad cop. So I said and let's call him Mark. I says Mark, what? Why am I a bad cop? He says oh, no, it's. You know I was on your contract negotiation and you know you were negotiating hard, like you, you, you really didn't um allow, uh, the, the customer to um basically get their way. So I said but who do I work for? I don't work for the customer. He said, yeah, but you know you're quite a hard negotiator. So I then said to him so in doing my job I'm a bad cop.

Speaker 1:

He went quiet. I said well, does silence make you the good cop then? Because you added no value to that meeting. None at all, in fact. If good cop is doing nothing, well, then I'll take all the glory for the work. Then Good cop. And his mouth was open. Everyone in the meeting was just quiet because Mark tried to shame me into how I did my job.

Speaker 1:

And let me be really clear. If I allowed him to get away with calling me bad cop and say the customer then escalates on a legal term that I will not allow them to insert in the contract, and then maybe they might say you know, toy was really hard and she won't do it it starts to snowball into a narrative that is not only negative but one that I will not accept. I am a very hard negotiator, and that that's what makes me amazing at my job. I don't work for the other side, I work for the best interest of the company in which I'm working for. I'm a fairator, but I understand how contracts work and I understand the parameters in which I can operate it and my role is to get the best possible outcome for the company in which I work for. So if that's what makes me a bad cop, then we need to clarify the definition of bad cop cop, then we need to clarify the definition of bad cop.

Speaker 1:

If you allow a narrative to be pushed and snowboard and then you use it's a joke or it's banter, I promise you you will regret it, because one thing I've I I have experienced in the world of work, especially working with in white dominated spaces, with white people who often do not mix with black people or do not have a positive view of black people, is that they're very quick to label us and it reminds me of the transatlantic slave trade where slaves were labeled. I know some of you are like ah toya. I say yeah, there's correlation, my love. If you want to understand what's happening today, you have to go back to the history books. I'm serious, you have to read. Even me, I need to read more. You cannot brandish me, you can't brand me. I'm not a slave, I am free.

Speaker 1:

So when you seek to call me bad cop, you're seeking to sow a seed in everybody's mind on that. Call Some people who. I know, some people who don't know me, to believe there is something bad about me. And you know, when I say bad cop, that means there's a good cop. So he's trying to center himself as a good cop in a contract negotiation where he said nothing. So he believes that being a bad bystander is a good cop, is a good thing. So they're paying you to do nothing. I had to let them know, but you added no value. Good cop, how did you support the progress of that contract? What did you actually say? I had to embarrass him because I came on that call and before I could even land my how are you doing? He was very quick to let everybody know that I was a bad cop because I was doing my job. Nothing slides. I will catch the read, I will catch the shade, I will catch it, and it's not every day. You see how he gave me one. I gave him two. Yes, what did I call that Word? Play? Yeah, let's play.

Speaker 1:

One thing I'm never, ever, ever going to do is allow anybody to think that they can label me and pass a narrative that does not belong to me. I work real hard, I'm dedicated. So then you're trying to undermine my good work by calling me a bad cop, and then you're going to call it banter and jokes. That was the last day he called me bad cop and anytime I can see he's about to, I can see him catch himself. But nobody else in the team is bad cop or good cop.

Speaker 1:

It's the only black woman on the project and that is how you choose to address me. No, I'm going to tell you how you are going to deal with me and you're going to deal with me with the same respect you afford my white female colleagues, because you wouldn't call them bad cop or anything to do with bad, because their fragility can't handle it. My fragility, tells, is telling you to stop. Yes, we are all fragile, my love, we are all. We all have fragility. A black woman is should not be seen as a black man. We are women, we are embracing and leaning into our femininity and fragility is adjacent to that, because it's adjacent to white women. And I will tell you the name in which you should call me, and it is Toya, not bad cop. Let this be an example to everybody how to catch the read and how to catch the shade. Don't allow to people to call you out of your name because you may think I'm going to let this slide next time. Next time, no, because some of those people may not be on the call next time they've they've left that call knowing that you are a bad cop.

Speaker 1:

They will go around telling people this is a bad cop, without any context. Can you see how things can just snowball out of control? All it takes is for the client to say maybe an off-the-cuff comment about you know me not agreeing with a certain term, and a senior member in that team will then say I remember when Mark called Toya Bad Cop, let me call. And can you see? Then suddenly there is a narrative about me in the course of doing my job the right way. But there is now a narrative that has no context, and people then add the flavour and spice as they want it.

Speaker 1:

You have to decide how you want to operate in your workplaces. You have to make a decision and you have to stay ready. And it is exhausting. I'm not saying it's not, but if you want to obtain excellence, you have to have a toolbox, a toolbox loaded with excellence. So you know in any given situation, even if you don't know what to say.

Speaker 1:

Right, I've been in situations like that, whereby somebody will say something and I'll repeat it back to them and say walk me through your thought process, why have you just said that? And once they do, my response is okay, I'll probably come back to that at a later point, because sometimes in the moment, some people are not like that. No, they're not quick as like quick witted, and that's not a problem. But you have to say something, even if it's questioning why the person said it or asking them to repeat it and take in a more stern tone. Um, can you explain to me why you've just called me bad cop, like, walk me through your thought process? How did we get here? Why not the good cop? That is enough.

Speaker 1:

But you have to address things when they happen, and you know I often talk about letting things go and know when to walk away and there's a balancing act, right. But when somebody's seeking to humiliate you on an internal call, you have to stay ready and knowing how to deal with it. And actually, in what I said to him was a response. It wasn't a. I think it was appropriate in addressing a narrative that is untrue and seeking clarification on what he was, you know, and highlighting the fact that he actually added no value because he opened the door. I could have very well said nothing, but I've just explained to you the consequences of possibly saying nothing.

Speaker 1:

There's been times at work where maybe I've been over, someone over-talks me, or maybe somebody has completely ignored something I've said and I can let that go. I don't care. But when it comes to my brand identity and you are a brand, by the way, you in the world of work are a brand and I speak. I say this, you don't. It's not this podcast, I've said it over and over. It's not just for people in the corporate world, it's the working world, because as black women, we're facing the same things in all industries. So let's get to that. You're a brand. I can't have somebody coming to call my brand a bad cop when my brand is called Toya. Apologies if I sound stuffy. My daughter has brought yet another cold home from nursery, so my immune system is doing the good fight.

Speaker 1:

In part culture news, let's talk about Drake and Kendrick Lamar. Listen, there is a lot. I keep saying that there's so many things that happen around us, in our own cultures or just in and around politics, music, and there is a lot that we can learn from it or have conversation and kind of take the positives. But yeah, I love having conversations with my husband and with some of my friends. I definitely am going to say this I will be doing a review of Lisa Rae's interview with Carlos King.

Speaker 1:

I'm a huge Carlos King fan and I do love me some. Lisa Rae's interview with Carlos King. I'm a huge Carlos King fan and I do love me some. Lisa Rae, shine Shine has a documentary on Hulu and I do want to talk a little bit about it. Some of the learning lessons, some of the pitfalls and, you know, some of the intricate themes that I know that exist within the documentary, but more so his relationship with Diddy and why, after, in his own words, being set up to be the fall guy, does he then spend most of his adolescent life in prison to come out knowing that he'd been set up by Diddy but shares a stage with Diddy. You know we need to get into that and I want to share my view and my opinion and one thing I love is pop culture. So I definitely will be infusing and I think I was kind of doing that anyway like a lot of like pop culture stuff into some of the lessons that we can weave into the world of work.

Speaker 1:

I definitely believe navigating the world of book, a world of book, navigating the world of work is not textbook you, for me, some of the greatest lessons I've learned is from white people. Yeah, they dominate a lot of the industries that we work in, so why wouldn't you learn from them and use the systems that they have constructed to protect them against them? Yeah, I'm quite. I will be and have been very open over the years about the fact that, whilst I may acknowledge that it's not all white people, but it is some, and sometimes, when you have difficult conversations, people want you to say you're not talking about them as a particular white person, but the others. But the reality is you all can learn, because some white people need to be, need to go through a level of reconditioning where you've been conditioned to believe you're superior. The reality is you're not. So there is an education, uh, an educational journey I feel like white people need to go on, especially whereby they have unconscious biases, they have unconscious racial biases and where they use their perceived superiority to oppress black people. Yeah, you need to.

Speaker 1:

If you're feeling uncomfortable as a white person, listen to this podcast. It's because you need to unlearn some behaviours that you feel guilty about, so that uncomfortableness is guilt. You need to unlearn some behaviours that you feel guilty about, so that uncomfortableness is guilt. You need to unlearn some of that behaviour. We're all on a journey in life. Love, it's just. Some of us are dealing with different themes and topics and realities.

Speaker 1:

Kendrick Lamar and Drake. First of all, I'm going to go on record on saying that I wouldn't call myself necessarily a Drake fan, but I appreciate beats, rhythm and good music right, feel good music and I feel like Drake is more of a feel-good music artist. Kendrick Lamar is a lyricist and he is. He takes the black culture seriously and he's talented beyond measure. He kind of sits on like Kanye West's status of creativity and artistry in my mind and I think Kanye West is one of the greatest, one of the greatest artists of all time and you have other artists like Michael Jackson as part of that list, but I do think Kanye West is one of them. And I definitely think Hendrick Lamar is like the Beyonce of rap, like that's my view, like argue with yourselves or just argue in the comments section in Spotify. We could just get to debate it.

Speaker 1:

So, if you'll remember recently, well, in the summer, in May, may and I remember this because I was in kenya celebrating my daughter's first birthday and k literally disappeared. K is a k who is my husband is a hip hop head. He is an he, just he. He is just an artist. My husband, who works in finance, is an artist in in so far as, like it is seeped into his blood, into his veins. So when, um, kendrick lamar and jake were going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, k was like this is like, this is what rap battles are about. This is the history of hip-hop happening here. Do you know what I mean? I never really got into it like that. Um, I'm more.

Speaker 1:

I like to look at the business side of what's happening here, because when I say the business side, whether you want to like, accept it or not, music has become a multi-million pound business, multi-billion pound business, and pound business, multi-billion pound business, and a lot of these artists are signed to major record labels and they're putting out music underneath this record label. You know they're getting cash advances, they're getting some type of advances and ultimately they have to kind of, you know, get the sales. You know they need to be able to pay back that money. They need to be able to generate that money. And if you really understand the history of hip-hop music, you'll know that rap battles are ingrained into the architectural fabric of hip-hop. Um, who remembers jay-z and nas? My husband reminded me of jay-z and nas and that whole. You know, I just literally had to like go and dig and find. You know that the the quote-unquote rap battle. But more than just Jay-Z and Nas, we're talking about hip-hop. I grew up I was born in the 80s, grew up in the 90s, where hip-hop music was just what a time to be in life. That's real music.

Speaker 1:

Now, for those of you who do not know, what happened between kendrick, lamar and drake, in a nutshell, before there was a kendrick and lamar, uh, kendrick and drake battle there. You know drake had gone up against pusha. I had to go back and listen to that because, from my recollection, pusha T annihilated Drake. But a lot of people don't know who Pusha T is, or at least he doesn't have the same kind of clout and visibility that he used to have. But he was part of the clips, like Pharrell, the clips grinding, and you know when they're keeping aligning niggas. Better stay in line when grinding. If you don't know that I'm your auntie, oh gosh, grinding. And you know when I get up, listen. What a time to be alive, anyway.

Speaker 1:

So effectively, drake started the rap battle the, or rap beef with Kendrick Lamar, and Kendrick was really clear Keep the kids, keep the partners, keep the wives, keep everybody out of it. Let's get to it. And you know what Pussyhole Drake did? He basically spoke about Kendrick Lamar's wife. All the things that Kendrick said were out of bounds, which, technically speaking, would always be out of bounds. If you're a lyricist, you don't need to talk about someone's children or someone's wife. However, if you open the floodgates to do that, then what you're trying to say is you're doing away with the rules, which Drake decided to do, and then all those things are out of bounds because you've now contravened the rules, are now open, it's open, this open supermarket. But I said talk about what we want to talk about. So, kendrick, then he came out with not like us. Not like us went viral, global, international virality. The thing transcended hip-hop. The track finished drank and then Kendrick later came with the video. Oh honey, I didn't even ask for a quick walk because he then put his wife and kids in the video Slam dunk Finish.

Speaker 1:

Now I don't know if you keep up with pop culture. I do. I listen to Hot 97, the Breakfast Club, charlamagne, the God. I listen, I read the stuff, I read the blogs, I read all of it and one thing that's really clear is Drake isn't really respected in the industry he's. He does really odd things like send rappers wives money allegedly, he will sleep with people's girlfriends allegedly and he, he does some real weird shit allegedly. And I think what has really been clear is drake has always um, in my opinion, struggled with identity and I genuinely think it boils down to him being mixed race.

Speaker 1:

I say this because a lot of the mixed race people that I have encountered, whereby conversations about race and identity has not been discussed in the household, the streets outside will give your child the lessons. If you're not willing to have difficult conversations about race and character and identity in your home, the streets will have that discussion with your child and I think that a lot of mixed race people that I know and have had conversations with will say to me you know that they've had issues with identity because they don't belong to any which one race they're half of. But they're not. You know, depending on how they present, some are not light enough to be white person and therefore, from the white community, they automatically categorize them as black. But the black community will say, actually, are you black like? What about you outside of? Being half black makes you black. And also, I think a lot can be said about in the black community, whereby we're quite willing to call anyone black. You know someone's mixed race. They're black. You're not black, you're mixed race.

Speaker 1:

And I think that identity crisis also comes from systemic issues within the black community and the white community of not understanding that our number one, our black community, cannot see a mixed race person as black when they're half black, jemma stan, and even though a mixed race person can identify as whatever they want, the reality is that they know within themselves they're not white enough to be considered white, because the white community will be like, well, if you're not white presenting or white passing where they are not even sure, and then just categorize you as white, then you become black. And the black community are now starting to. I think a lot of conversations are being had about actually, you know, as a, we'll just take and say, okay, you're black, but the reality is you don't have a lot of our black issues, especially when you're not black presenting. But you're mixed race and I think there's nothing wrong with being half of each race, however articulating that you are. You know you lean in or have more of a cultural affiliation to the black community, while still maintaining your identity as being mixed race. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but a lot of.

Speaker 1:

I remember I had a friend who was mixed race and she said to me that her mum never understood her black. Blackness is what she said. Um, that's like like some of the issues that she has had to encounter because she's black presenting and she identifies as Black that her white mother doesn't understand, and you could tell like she struggled with identity and character for a really long time and she always said that she gravitated to strong Black women who were either Black activists or stood in their stood in confidence of their race, that she was drawn to them because she felt like she would not only just be accepted but they would be able to almost allow her the growth of understanding who she was, which I found really interesting because until I'd had that conversation specifically with that person. I didn't really understand some of the battles that mixed race people go through from an identity perspective. If their family is not having those conversations, if they're not from a very understanding, inclusive family which accepts that person for who they are. If you're not having those conversations, then I can understand that when you come into the world, into society where you could have identity issues, I could completely get that.

Speaker 1:

Drake is one of those people. In my humble opinion. I think that Drake has been so desperate to be part of the when I say part of the black community. What I'm saying here is Drake will identify with whoever is in front of him and there's been so many situations whereby he has been shamed for almost trying to cosplay certain, so like sometimes he cosplays a gangster and it's like bruv, you're not a gangster like. You are from a privileged background, you grew up with money. You're a child actor like stop it.

Speaker 1:

And I never got confidence from Jake. You know he doesn't present as a confident person, he presents as a petty person, he presents as somebody who is looking to be accepted in general. Um, and it's funny, isn't it? Because you think that because somebody takes the stage, sells billions or millions of albums and singles and streams, and all of this would be confident and happy and content, but drake does not appear that way to me.

Speaker 1:

I've had extensive conversations, um with my husband and I've gone on to book sites, and something that I actually do agree with is that I think that Drake underestimated Kendrick Lamar's um lyrical ability. I think that Drake wanted to go up against Kendrick Lamar because he genuinely thought that Kendrick Lamar would either bow down, crash out or and it's funny, isn't it because the people he goes up against are the black people in the culture and community that he so desperately wants to identify and be a part of, but yet he's still willing to destroy it so that he can be seen as being on top while still not fully feeling like he belongs. It's kind of crazy, um. So what has happened is not like, not like us is listen, it's. It's gonna go down in the history books like it's a track that is timeless, is genius. It shows um, and it shows kendrick's lyrical ability, but also his ability to deliver and his humor, because I feel like kendrick lamar's quite serious, but there was something I read it said yeah, he's quite serious, but he's quite serious about the culture, and it's true. So, off the back of that, kendrick lamar has been nominated for Grammy well, grammys. He has also been selected and he will be performing and headlining the Super Bowl. It's huge. That track catapulted Kendrick Lamar in the forefront of minds of people who genuinely did not know him or appreciate him in the hip hop community.

Speaker 1:

However, in the last two days, drake's attorneys have initiated legal proceedings against Universal Music Group referred to as UMG and Spotify, alleging the companies conspired to artificially inflate the popularity of Kendrick Lamar's Not Like Us the track. Right. And then Drake accuses UMG so the record label of defamation in a second legal filing and says the music group could have stopped the release of Kendrick Lamar's song Not Like Us, which falsely accuses him of being a sex offender. Not Like Us, which falsely accuses him of being a sex offender. Now, if you don't understand rap, hip hop music, you will try and find a way to justify what Drake has done in his second court filing and the fact that he has taken legal proceedings against Universal Music Group, against a universal music group.

Speaker 1:

But this is the case, a very sad case, of a mixed race man utilising his privilege and his proximity to his whiteness to bring hip hop and our culture into disrepute, because he lost a battle in which he set the tone. There were rules of engagement and he disregarded it. So basically, anything goes and he's a sore loser. Drake was clowned because everybody jumped on to Not Like Us. We're talking basketball players, we're talking other musicians. Social media was crazy. I mean TikTok and Instagram went mad for this track because Kendrick Lamar annihilated Drake. Drake tried to come for him and lost, and Drake is a sore loser. There is no reason why Drake would file proceedings, other than the fact that he wanted to be accepted so badly within the Black community, within the hip-hop community, and I don't think he knows how to cope with losing, and I think it comes from I personally think it comes from a position of being told that you're better than he always had a flare of arrogance about him.

Speaker 1:

I never felt like he was respected the hip-hop community. I think he often cosplayed a black man to have proximity into the black culture. But the reality is you're a mixed race man who has benefited from privilege and you have good producers who give you good beats and you are an international star, but it's not enough, because underneath all of that is a man that's having a massive identity crisis and part of his identity is in the black community which he feels do not respect him. So I think that he felt so humiliated that Kendrick Lamar's response and track went down so well, and I think that radio stations were playing it, they were talking about it, analysing it, and I think Drake felt humiliated. I think he felt ashamed. I think he underestimated Kendrick Lamar because he thought he was better than Kendrick Lamar. But the thing is, if he really understood hip hop and music and really respected the culture, he would know that Kendrick Lamar is a beast. He is a legend in his own right, but because he doesn't respect him enough, he deems him not even an opponent. He deemed him as an opportunity.

Speaker 1:

However, drake hasn't come come out, but since the core filing, the industry have clowned him even worse. In fact, uh, joe baden, the way joe boston dragged drake was crazy. But in all of this, you know you can go ahead and listen to your blogs and your research. I think there's a lot to learn from what's happened here. It's how ego plays a role and how ego can rob you of peace, how ego can cheat you out of your destiny. Your ego can be the reason why you lose respect in an industry in which you have rightfully earned your place. Drake's ego was so bruised that he not only entered a court filing and is suing UNG, he's also done a second petition and I think there's been a shift in the industry towards Drake. I personally I mean, who am I right? But I don't respect him, I don't particularly like him and I think he's showing his whiteness in this situation, showing his whiteness in this situation.

Speaker 1:

I think it's also important to recognise that you cannot underestimate anybody In the world of work. When you have made a decision, that you have gathered and built your burn folder, you can't just assume that because you've got a burn folder game set and matched and you are going to um, you know, make a grievance complaint and win. You have to make that grievance complaint and still operate from a space of I'm building and I'm going to set the scene and I'm going to. I'm going to show examples. But the humility and understanding that you might be in the right but if you don't manage things properly, you could easily put yourself at a disadvantage, is really important. Humility in situations where you are right is very important.

Speaker 1:

I want to also give you an example of something several, several months ago I say several months was a couple of years ago now um, I shared with you and I it's called bully boss. I don't think that it's called bully boss, um, but I shared in an episode and I can share the link in the show notes of where I was basically racially discriminated against in the workplace, where a white man automatically assumed that a lady I was managing who is a white lady was my boss. He began to disrespect and slate me in an email to her that was wholly disrespectful, laced in macroaggressions, which was the bedrock of the racism in which he was tabling against me. He was so racist that the lady that I was managing couldn't even believe the email that he had sent her Unprovoked, simply because I made a decision about something that was passed to my team and he didn't like the outcome. Yeah, he didn't like my decision and from my name he can tell I was black. Like there's no trying to say you couldn't assume he knew I was black. Okay, anyway.

Speaker 1:

So I gathered my evidence, my colleague sent me the emails and I spent probably an hour and a half two o'clock in the morning crafting a grievance complaint, especially because I had the emails from him directly, but he was wholly disrespectful and where he had said certain things that, to be honest, those are not the things you put in writing, those are rookie mistakes, especially because he insinuated certain things that were discriminatory in nature. So the basis of my grievance was victimization, harassment, coercion via harassment yeah, race discrimination, sex discrimination, intimidation. And then I predicted the policy of the organization I was working at and referenced it. Listen, I'm one of those people. Yeah, you've got to to understand. It takes me a long time to get to a certain point, but once you take me there, I'm gonna done your dance. I'm a kendrick lamar, for that shit. I'm not gonna just come nicely, I'm gonna done your dance, because I always deal with people with respect, but I will never underestimate anybody.

Speaker 1:

That being said, I had to step away from how I felt, and I always tell you guys, put the feelings to one side and deal with the facts. I had to remove my ego, because if I allowed my ego to be there and present, I would have not only just lost my shit, I would have been demanding from HR what I want them to do. But that's not how this is going to go If you put your ego to the side, you'll be able to look at things holistically and structure a complaint whereby you're very clear about what you're alleging, what the evidence is to support what you're alleging and what you expect to happen next. You don't need to put the emotion, you don't need to say how you feel. Most importantly, you can't come across as though your ego um, as though your ego is is at the forefront of the issues that you're having with this person. Your ego is bruised.

Speaker 1:

I honestly felt so disrespected that if I didn't nip this in the bud, if I didn't bring this, I think that what he would have done is taught his other colleagues how to treat me. Do you understand? Um? That being said, I'm one of those people. I don't hide nothing. I, when I sent my grievance complaint to hr, put him on copy. Oh you, you should know the charges that I filed against you. Honey, yes, honey, you didn't know. Let me give you an education in employment law. I'm gonna be honest with you. I still have a grievous letter to this day. I sent it to myself because I couldn't believe somebody could be so stupid.

Speaker 1:

But the arrogance of this white man to think that he was above the law and the rules of the organisation we worked in is crazy, but white people are often taught that the rules are created by them, so we can't use those. Of course you can. The point here is he was so arrogant, his ego was ever so present that the evidence that I had against him do you know that? When he received the email, apparently he took the the morning off. How do you need to rest? Rest, yes, his ego got the best of him. He did not think in his wildest dreams that I would make I would not or make a grievance complaint against him. Then put him on copy and add the evidence. That is for me, honestly, till this day. And that was like what three, four years ago. I still can't believe it that somebody would put them.

Speaker 1:

But sometimes, when your ego, when your ego is there, present, you are blinded by the reality of your situation. To cut a long story short, basically, hr, they were basically saying to me what do I want them to do? It was at that point because he was finished. The rules are the rules. Are the rules? You treat people with respect. If I was a white woman, would you treat me like that? If I use my colleague as a comparator. The answer is no, by virtue of the fact that she was the one that received these, because it was assumed that she was our manager, because she was a white woman. He never conceived for a moment that a black woman could manage a team. Oh honey, I went in the fuck.

Speaker 1:

But this is why I say we need to learn from this Drake and Kendrick Lamar. When your ego is racing ahead, you lose your power of logic and understanding of a situation. I would have had more respect for Drake and I think the industry would have had more respect for Drake if, after this track had happened not like us then maybe at a show they play it and they say a cripple kid. He said you know what, my bad Like. He could have done that, but he didn't. And he didn't because his need to be accepted by the community was more important than anything else. And what he has done is he's pulled out his white card. He has, because you can't break the rules and then sue the record label. You can't get into a rap battle and then sue someone because you lost. It's crazy. That is actually very mad and okay fine. You lost. It's crazy, that is actually very mad and okay, fine, you know Kendrick Lamar talks about A minor and, you know, says what is very inappropriate, but no one believes that.

Speaker 1:

And the reality is, when you're a lyricist and a musician and you're having a rap battle, a battle with the operative word, that's what you should expect. Especially when you start talking about people's children and their wives, what do you expect Drake? I think also as well, there needs to be a bit of balance and I do think that you know a little bit of Kendrick's ego was present, and I think it's the idea of he didn't have to go far, but I understand why he did, because Drake, his character, is the type that you need to annihilate him. You can't just bruise him a little bit. You've got to enough because his ego needs to get checked.

Speaker 1:

And I think one of the greatest lessons that I've learned is people don't play fair. Simple, people do not play fair and whilst you may think that you deserve to be promoted because you've put the hours in, you've delivered something, you have made the company money, it doesn't mean you're going to get a bonus at the end of the year. It doesn't mean that they're going to recognise that hard work when they're doing your end of year review. People do not play fair, but you have to find a way to put your ego aside and stick to the facts. I don't know about you, but let me tell you something. I live by what I teach. I can confidently sit here and, whilst I have always been uncomfortable when people I know have said this to me, I'm going to sit here and tell you I'm a successful black woman, but I've still got a long way to go in terms of development, understanding and growth. I wish I could sit here and give you a full synopsis of every single place I've worked, but I believe that when I retire, that autobiography will be juicy.

Speaker 1:

But I'm in the throes of my career and I'm sitting here telling you now that I think bonuses are considered next year, august. I've already started building my um files. I'm not gonna need to find a name for these files. There's not a feedback folder. I'm literally building a file to justify my bonus. I'm gonna going to need to find a name for these files. There's not a feedback folder. I'm literally building a file to justify my bonus. I'm going to get the maximum amount of bonus the maximum Because, like Donald Trump, I don't start campaigning 100 days before. Like Kamala, I'm campaigning from the jump. Honey, like I was surprised that I got considered for a bonus Because I hadn't been at the company long. I've been at the company. What? Since March I got a bonus, you know, because those quick wins.

Speaker 1:

I tell you, guys and girls, what to do in those first 90 days passing your probation. Yeah, oh, I didn't tell you guys about that, but I've shared that. I've got a master class for it. I'm giving you the blueprint success that as I have achieved it. I've given you the blueprint and then you adapt it to your career, you adapt it to your situation. So I've already campaigning for my bonus next year. My boss is not even thinking about my bonus next year. I am. That folder is tight. Yes, three months worth of a folder already. That's me, don't play with me.

Speaker 1:

So probation, so I don't know if I told you guys this, but if I have, I'm saying it again because I don't remember. So my probation was six months and the way, like my organization is, I told my boss I was like, oh, my probation period. And he kind of like. His reaction was like that's nothing, you've already passed. Like that's nothing, honey, it's something because you're referencing it in my contract. Honey, it's something, because you reference it in my contract. So I messaged my boss and I said I haven't had confirmation that I've passed my probation. He's like, oh, you've passed, because we don't really give out stuff like a letter, really feel. I said well, you, but you say that it would be confirmed by hr. So how else are they going to confirm it? Elicits in writing, because I haven't seen the confirm? I says just because nothing is said cannot be assumed of past my probation.

Speaker 1:

Listen, your managers are not the architects of your career. I've been telling you since podcast number two you need to manage your career. Don't leave it to them. No matter how nice your boss is or how much of an understanding you have, you have to take charge of your career. That is what I teach here. If you have, you have to take charge of your career. That is what I teach here. If you're not willing to take charge of your career, this is not the podcast, the platform for you, because here we are. Excellence only. We deal in excellence, because mediocrity is not a space for us to exist, do you understand?

Speaker 1:

Okay, so two weeks after the date of which my probation period was up no letter, no, nothing Cool. So I took matters into my own hands. Of course I did. I already notified my boss. He's there telling me oh, by virtue of conduct, absolutely not sir, absolutely not sir. So I emailed hr. I said, following a conversation with my boss in which he verbally confirms that I've passed my probation, I referenced clause 3.4 on my employment contract, which clearly states that my probation is for six months and after six months I will have confirmation that I have passed. My assumption is that confirmation will be in writing. I am yet to receive it, so I will need confirmation that I have passed my probation in writing. Please continue to ensure that I receive this within the next five to ten business days. Yeah, I will give you a timeline. Motherfucker, to hate Charles' credit 24 hours. I got my email. I got a letter. This is to confirm that Toya has successfully passed her probation and is a fully fledged member of Star. Congratulations. I went and put it in my folder. I printed it. I put it in my folder.

Speaker 1:

Don't play with me Some of these admin tasks. Some of you think they're not important because your boss has told you verbal, verbal, verbal, verbal. When are you going to start putting pen to paper, honey? When are you going to start click, click clapping to type in? When are you going start click the clapping to tap in? When are you gonna start typing? When are you gonna start typing? When are you gonna start requesting what you want and putting people in a situation where they have to deliver it to you? You're not gonna come to me now and tell me oh toyah, we haven't confirmed whether you've passed your probation, when I'm five years into employment. Everybody's crazy. Then I'll be arguing about oh, by virtue of conduct, both parties were silent that it can be reasonably assumed that one is a fully fledged member of staff.

Speaker 1:

I'm not ready to do that grammatical English tap dancing around facts. I need receipts, evidence paperwork. Receipts, evidence paperwork. Receipts, evidence paperwork. Yes, honey, that's what I need.

Speaker 1:

You know, kerry Bedlock, can we just save her for another episode, can we please, because she's like a dark cloud on a sunny day. She, her self-hatred is crazy, in my opinion, and she just let's save her for another episode, shall we? Yes, I think that we'll do that, because she's going to still be well. She may or may not be, honey, the way the Labour Party, the Conservative Party, gets through their leaders. Honey, who knows she needs to take her tenure on a week by week basis. Let's talk about her another day, because I need to research her a little bit as well. Like what I know of her, I feel like there's other stuff underneath that I'm gonna have to bring to the surface of conversations. But yeah, so I also want to say this I enjoy recording the podcast.

Speaker 1:

I find it very cathartic too. I love the fact that I'm able to reach people far and wide on a global scale and be a safe space in which we can all attain excellence. I'm not saying that the road is easy, because I know for a fact that my road isn't easy, and when I see fellow black women in senior positions, we all look at each other like honey, because we're all suffering the bruises. But something that I want to commit to, or at least something that I want to say, is, even though I definitely have felt triggered in kind of revisiting and rehashing very traumatic things that have happened in my employment life and history, and irrespective of how tired I feel as a Black woman, I still show up and I have been really comfortable with knowing that there's a body of work through the podcast. So me, you know, recording an episode once every two weeks or once a month has always sat quite well with me.

Speaker 1:

Four years of podcasting is not easy and for me it's always been about substance. So I am going to record more frequently and I don't want to commit to anything other than more frequently, and I'm never going to come on a podcast and talk about talk but there's nothing to talk about. I always want people to walk away with learnings. That's really important to me and that's why, on the Spotify review, I always say I always run a poll and I always ask, like did you learn anything? I always say I always run a poll and I always ask, like did you learn anything? What did you learn? What are the common themes of this podcast?

Speaker 1:

Because I just want to kind of like test the fact that people are taking something away, because when you invest time in a podcast or invest time in a seminar or a masterclass, that time could be used for anything else, but you're choosing to invest in yourself. So it's important for me that, as you're investing yourself, that you're getting something out of what you're investing in. It's really important to me. So you know I'm gonna come on here and I'm gonna do the things more frequently. I thank God that I get to work from home as well, so when I'm taking a break I can just switch on and record and, um, I think that it's for me. I just accept that podcasting is a part of my life and I know how many women's lives have been changed and transformed by a lot of the learnings of the podcast. So I want to keep it going. So, yeah, more frequency of episodes, and I'm working on something really, really special.

Speaker 1:

So I recognise that there's a few things I want to tweak with the masterclasses. I do want to do the quizzes. There's been some employment updates since the Labour Party have been elected. I want to be able to add that to the content of the masterclasses. So those of you who have already bought masterclasses will be able to see some of those employment updates which I'll attach to all of the existing masterclasses. So those of you who have already bought masterclasses will be able to see some of those employment updates which are attached to all of the existing masterclasses. I want to record some more videos that um have maybe new legislation that will affect, say, redundancies. I want to do all of that, so it's definitely something I'm going to be working on between now and early part of next year to upgrade um.

Speaker 1:

I also am working on something else as well, which I think you guys are going to. Just your mouth is going to drop when you see what I'm working on. I've spent a lot of time and I've spent a lot of money to be able to put this out, because it's so special and key to my heart and within the next few months, you'll see it and we're gonna talk about it. We're gonna, you know, have a ponderosa of the epidosa. That's what I did. I am no rapper. Let's leave it to kendrick. Anyway, I'm gonna leave it there. Thank you so much for your patience and thank you so much for trusting me to come back to podcasting because, let's be real, once a month, it was me kind of taking a break while still keeping my feet warm and wet. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:

Um, I am going to be more active on my TikTok. I am, anyway, but more active and I do want to share, like work, stuff. I think I'm quite like on TikTok. I love it because you can just be yourself, whereas Instagram is just Instagram, innit. If you want to follow me on my social media. I am really active on Instagram. I will say that I post daily. My Instagram handle is toy underscore washington.

Speaker 1:

If you want to give um anonymously um email and your work-related dilemmas, I will read them. I will advise you anonymously on the podcast. Um, please email hello at toy talkscom and in the subject box just write it's a dilemma so that we know it's a dilemma, so that it can be put into a folder. And also, what outcome are you seeking? You know, when you're sending a dilemma and something's happening at work, what would be your ideal position or situation Like, what would be the ideal outcome for you, because when I'm giving you advice, I can have it back on my mind to get you as close to it if not to it as possible, if that makes sense in looking for a resolution. Thank you for staying loyal, because loyalty is important, and I'm definitely going to see you guys before the end of the year with a closing end of year episode. Thank you so much for your love, respect and your support. Thank you for loving the platform as much as I do. My name is Toy Washington and you have definitely been listening to the Toy Talks podcast.