The Toya Talks Podcast
The education system teaches us to learn and recall information and at the end of it we are tested and expected to then pass exams. After all said and done the reality is, we are supposed to get a job at the end of it. I was unaware of the difficulties I would encounter at work especially as a Black Woman. How do I navigate work and how do I keep a job? Education institutions do not prepare you for work, racism, bullying, and oppressive managers in the workplace. Where the education system has not prepared you, I will. Toya Talks is a platform birthed on my day to day uploads on Snapchat. I discuss the realities of work from the perspective of a Black Woman and how I have successfully navigated work using my experiences. Toya Talks Podcast covers the world of work and not just the corporate world. Black Women for too long have been overlooked and underrepresented in the workplace. Toya Talks is a safe place and a platform to share, grow and learn, more importantly, educate ourselves and everyone else so we can navigate and grow in the world of work more smoothly. This Podcast contains my opinions and feelings based on my lived experiences, my opinions and my Black experience. My views and experiences are in no way intended to cause offence. Lets put the sensitivity to one side, prepare to laugh, learn & grow!!!!
The Toya Talks Podcast
Squabble Up
In this episode, we share powerful insights on how strategic patience and authenticity can transform workplace challenges into victories. With the backdrop of recent Grammy wins by Black artists like Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar, we celebrate their monumental achievements and explore their cultural impact, all while empowering listeners to remain true to themselves in diverse environments.
Across the pond, we tackle the intricacies of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in the UK and the economic challenges Black professionals face. Personal stories highlight the harsh realities of living expenses and political skepticism, painting a vivid picture of systemic hurdles. From the difficulties of accessing healthcare for ADHD assessments to potential changes in TV licensing, the conversation underscores the economic and social pressures shaping daily life in the UK.
A deep dive into Hollywood's power dynamics reveals allegations and legal battles, questioning the balance of influence and integrity. We also shift focus to Africa's journey toward economic liberation, discussing the impact of Western control and the significance of alliances like the Sahel State. Engage with us as we explore these complex narratives on the Toya Talks podcast, encouraging empowerment, dialogue, and growth for Black women navigating professional landscapes.
Sponsorships - Email me: hello@toyatalks.com
Cc: toyawashington10@gmail.com
TikTok: toya_washington
Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast)
Snapchat: @toyawashington
Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks
www.toyatalks.com
https://toyatalks.com/
Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star
Happy Black History Month to our US cousins. It's two weeks into Donald Trump's presidency and I know y'all are going through a lot If that man does any more executive orders like seriously, it's enough now. Isn't there like a quota of executive orders you can do within the first six months or something? Because whatever that quota is, trump has reached it.
Speaker 1:Yesterday was the Grammy Awards and for the first time in 33 years, the big three categories at the Grammys were won solely by black artists, namely Album of the Year, which went to Beyonce, song of the Year, which went to Kendrick Lamar, and Record of the Year, that went to Kendrick Lamar. So just to kind of you know, just you know, give you guys a flavour of what happened at the Grammys yesterday. History was made and whilst I'm so surprised that it's taken so long for Black artists to be recognised in some of the big categories, given that the music is of Black origin and we know the history of our music, we understand where music comes from. It comes from our soul, it's, it's ancestral. But kendrick lamar's not like us. He won um, an award for best rap song, uh award for best rap performance and won a grammy award for best music video. So I'm gonna need y'all to check on your certified lover boy, drake. You drake is looking stupid but we spoke about this in a previous episode like drake is, and you know what the the crazy thing is? When kendra went to collect one of his awards, they were playing, not like us, it's like one of the biggest songs of 2024. It is the biggest song of 2024.
Speaker 1:And then it got to certified lover boy, certified A minor, and everyone started repeating it. Even Beyonce was like she was getting crock and I was like Drake. You can run all the way to Australia and be on tour, but there is nowhere on earth you can be without you being humbled by the fact that you thought that you can tap dance your way into black music. Okay, you're half black, I get all of that, but you tapped your way. You appropriated, you underestimated how Kendrick Lamar views music and you failed to understand that he does music for the culture. You are a performative artist and a great one, but you underestimated just how great Kendrick Lamar is, and that is the difference. We can't forget Thames, our Nigerian sister, who won best performance, and Dochi, who won best rap album. You're locked into the Toya Talks podcast.
Speaker 2:Toya Talks, council estates, a corporate space, first gen Nigerian setting the pace From Goldman Sachs to PwC, building legacies for all to see. Dyslexia couldn't stop this flow. Law degree just watch me grow. Masters of the game, we show Every sister how to own their throne. T-o-i-a. Let me show you how to navigate and elevate. That's what we do. Black Queen, energy growing.
Speaker 1:I don't know where to start this episode because I've got a lot of grounds to cover and I've got limited time in which to cover it. In Listen, I got quite a few messages after my previous episode where I spoke about a colleague who basically called me no, he didn't. Basically he called me a madame and implied, inferred and accused me of being a prostitute and running a brothel from my home because my light, my back light, is pink and he interpreted it as being red because it fitted into his narrative of calling me a prostitute. And a lot of you were quite surprised that I didn't go straight to HR and if you know anything about me, I'm one of those people. I will build that file file because there's too many instances and too many times as black women, where we get gaslit into believing that it was a fluke, it was said in, it was an accident.
Speaker 1:I prefer to be patient and I one thing I trust chauvinist pigs, especially male chauvinist pigs to be is consistent and they're very forgetful. So I, more than anything, believe in patterns of behavior to confirm an opinion and something that I didn't I haven't mentioned because I didn't do a podcast episode last week I spoke to. I did speak to a colleague the particular colleague that was in the meeting when this was said and I basically said to him you know it was uncomfortable for me to kind of be in that situation and my colleague was like, completely understand. That's why I questioned why he was calling you a madam. I knew where he was going with it and I was hoping me saying that would kind of cause him to refrain from where I knew he was going to take it. And he started to then share with me that he's worked with him for several years, he's been in the organisation for a long time, that he's liked and respected all this, all this. And when he was saying all of this, in the back of my mind I knew that this was another white man defending a white man because of the passage of time.
Speaker 1:And this is the point, isn't it? Somebody can be so wrong, but in many organisations the passage of time gives you a bligh, especially with HR, where predominantly HR don't particularly know their jobs or how to enforce policies that they have in place. And I know from past experience and just being in the working world for several years and working in different organisations, going to HR is an uphill battle when you think that you have someone banged to rights. Especially when you're dealing with somebody who's either well respected or has been in an organisation longer than you the fact that I'm a black woman the rules are applied differently. So I know for a fact that to deal with this person properly, I just have to be patient.
Speaker 1:He's either going to do it to me again, which I believe he will do, or he's going to do it to someone else, who's going to hear that he did it to me, because I've put enough seeds out there for people to be aware that something happened where this man was inappropriate. But let me make make no, um, make no, uh. What's the words? What's the word? The words are escaping me. Be under no illusion. If he attempts to do anything like this again, I will use this situation, plus whatever new situation he's done, and he will be sacked, because what we're not going to do, especially in the light of this whole DEI, which I personally do not believe has ever benefited black women but what we're not going to do is put black people in the forefront of DEI and then you think that you're going to use that as a launchpad to try and disgrace me. I'll have your job, because since you don't respect and I don't even think it's personal, I just don't think he respects black women that you feel comfortable in a space where there's senior directors on a call. I'm the only woman and the only black woman on this call and you felt comfortable for a good three minutes to convince me that I was a prostitute.
Speaker 1:I'm a madam, I'm a this, I'm a that. I'm patient. I'm nothing if I'm not patient. There's always more than one way to skin a cat and when you're dealing with especially white male chauvinist pigs, you have to be strategic in how you operate. No one particularly cares about how you feel. The evidence has to speak for itself and the evidence will defend me and I will call all of those people in a meeting as witnesses to what happened, because one thing is for sure the truth is the truth. You can't deny it. Did he say yes? Was you there? Yes? Did you say anything? No, and that's how I'm going to deal with it. I think I'm just at a point in stage of my life now whereby I'm not doing he said she said anymore. I've got low iron, I don't actually have the physical energy or the strength to do that.
Speaker 1:But, more importantly, I've just understood how to navigate in white spaces. And when you want to navigate properly in white spaces, you have to understand that the organisation owes you a duty of care. Sometimes they need to be fucking reminded, but what I am going to do is place you in a situation where you have no choice but to do as I say about dealing with this situation that has now become a pattern of abuse. And don't get it twisted. It doesn't go over my head the nuance of him being a white South African man. That doesn't go above my head, because I believe there's a layer of complexity that needs to be acknowledged and as a black woman, I understand. And if you don't understand, go and do your Googles, go and do your research, go and do your reading. I'm not here to teach white people about racism or non-black people about racism and the microaggressions and the macroaggressions, colonisation and white privilege and so many things in between. I'm not here to teach white people that. What I'm here to do is enforce my right and my ability to be able to navigate freely in spaces where I have worked hard to be in point blank in the period, sainsbury's in the UK have announced that they plan to cut 3,000 jobs from head office, starting with senior management roles, as a cost-saving exercise, and they'll be closing down a lot of the patisserie and pizza counters. This is really important because what we're now starting to see is organizations.
Speaker 1:I told you DEI does not exist, by the way, and the benefit of the buzzwords benefited white women. There was a study done and it showed that 51% of the like they did a study, but 51% of the results showed that it was actually white women that benefited from DEI. So for me, I've never benefited from DEI. I've only benefited from being overqualified and overeducated. Can you be overeducated? No, I can say that the benchmark for education I've been over and above. That's the only thing. And I've never actually had any benefit because the bar is so much higher for us as black people. So DEI has never I was never a DEI hire because DEI does not exist for us. Dei was there to facilitate the moving of money from organisations balance sheets, buzzwords and black squares, and I'm not interested in any of that because it does not benefit the community in which I am from.
Speaker 1:But what I will say is it doesn't go above my head how organisations are using DEI to remove people from positions, to do reorganisations, to make people redundant as a cost-saving exercise, because, especially in the UK, organisations are being squeezed. There is a correlation between organisations having to pay an increased amount of DEI, an increased amount of NI for their staff, so obviously they have to get the money from somewhere. This is an unexpected cost and organisations are therefore cutting staff and they're starting at senior levels, where they spend the most money. People people spend a lot of money on people. People are expensive and they're going to cut the jobs from senior management because they pay them a lot of money plus bonuses or whatever else they've negotiated into their contracts. So I think when you're hearing organisations cutting jobs, I think you need to also look at the environment. That we're currently in the UK is bad vibes anyway, but it's really expensive to be in the UK right now. Bad vibes anyway, but it's really expensive to be in the UK right now.
Speaker 1:The other day I went to M&S and, despite what people may think, m&s, in terms of pricing, is on par with Sainsbury's and Tesco's. There's nothing in it and sometimes M&S is more cheaper. Let me just tell you this the quality of the food is better in M&S, in my humble opinion. So I went there and I decided to do like. I call it a minor food shop, and I call it minor because it's not the bigger food shop. This is because I'm on a diet. Follow me on toyah underscore Washington on Instagram like it's a lot. I'm on a diet, so the quality of my food um is really important to me, and the quality in M&S is. Is that much better? But in terms of pricing, I don't think there's. I think there's probably like a 2p difference on average with the certain things that I buy in comparison to, say, sainsbury's or Tesco's.
Speaker 1:Now my bill came to 86 pounds and I'm not joking with you. If I'm spending 86 pounds, I need to see three large shopping bags in my car. There was one and there was no red meat in any of these bag any of this shopping, by the way. So I'm thinking where is this 86 pounds? Because I don't understand it. I then come home and empty the bag, put, put majority of the stuff in the fridge and I'm still looking for 86 pounds because I'm seeing a gap, many gaps, in my shelf. So I'm just wondering, like, what the fuck? Like it's becoming so expensive anyone who's planning to come here in the UK to the UK. It is very expensive. Some of you are thinking there's a money tree in the garden. You just pull the money off. You will even be charged for going next to the tree where the money resides. There's no money here.
Speaker 1:I just like this whole British dream that our parents had is actually becoming a nightmare, and I've got issues with Keir Starmer anyway. He has a whole episode coming for his ass because Keir Starmer is so problematic, and I genuinely believe that he is a conservative in Labour clothing. That's what I believe. Wow, dude, does you please? But Keir Starmer is problematic for me anyway, and I think the fact that people wanted a change is the reason why they voted Labour. But in reality I don't see the difference in how the country is being run economically, socially, any different to the Conservatives.
Speaker 1:Kemi Bendernock will never be the first black female Prime Minister in the UK. It's not going to happen and I think she knows it. She's here to just clean up the mess of the party and to get the black vote or the ethnic minority vote. That's the only reason why she's the leader, and I genuinely believe that if it was about being the prime minister, they wouldn't have voted her as leader of the Labour Party, because this country is so racist that they're not ready. The only reason why what's his name? Rishi Sunak was prime minister is because the other lady resigned. What's her name? Liz Truss. She resigned so they were like, oh God. They were like, oh, what are we going to do? All right, all right, then have the runner up, and they've done him dirty. So if Kemi Bedinok thinks she's coming to be prime minister, somebody better burst that bubble for her, because it's not happening, not in this UK, this place, no, sorry.
Speaker 1:Anyway, moving on, do you have TV licence? Do you have TV licence? Don't ask me the question. I'm asking you Do you know that there was talk about adding TV licence to council tax? Because the BBC were concerned that a lot of people were not paying TV licence. So the only way they felt that they can enforce TV licence is to make it mandatory by charging people the fee in and amongst their council tax. Now, I don't know what happened to that conversation and, given that it's the Labour Party, this may still be something that happens. They will push it through government.
Speaker 1:I'm listen. I don't trust nothing to do with this country, not after I've done my history, history lessons on the origins of colonialism and the economic oppression of Africa that has been been pushed, manipulated and managed by the west. But that's that's. Listen. Sorry, this is my undiagnosed ADHD, opening different tabs. You gotta just move with me, gotta move with me, move with me.
Speaker 1:So, um, apparently what is being suggested now is to add tv license to Netflix and Disney plus users, watches, streamers, whatever you're calling, downloaded, whatever. Um, I definitely feel as though they're gonna press and force the issue of tv license through another means, and I'm letting you guys know, because some of you are just living, existing, not knowing what's happening around you. Bam, you will just see something there and then already you'll be like how did you get it? Oh, my god, I'm paying tv license. Come and see what's happening now. In a country that you have to pay to use the toilet, public toilet they are now adding tv license. They're wanting or suggesting to add tv license to netflix. And let me be honest with you I have netflix because k pays for it. Yeah, my husband pays for it, and it's even sweeter because I'm not even paying. Sure, I pay for Disney plus. Kay pays for Apple TV, and let me just tell you between all three of them. I have a lot of shows to watch, by the way, but I'm just letting you know and this just adds to kind of like what's going on here in the UK, where just they're focused on silly things, like I have another.
Speaker 1:I have an episode where I talk about um. It's coming up where I talk about this country is committed to not allowing you to realize your success because you get to a certain you earn a certain amount of money in this country and you're taxed at 40% and people say, well, it's the overage that's charged at 40%. But the point is you're not then able to access certain things like, for example, working tax credit for parents. If you earn over £100,000, you are no longer qualified. So if you're with your partner and one of you, you don't qualify. Yeah, earning over £100,000. Now that's the difference between two £300 maybe discounted nursery fees. As it currently stands, my daughter's nursery fees is more than our mortgage. It costs more than our mortgage and in this country it does not support working parents. It supports people who want to be on benefits.
Speaker 1:Because we're at a stage now where your success is being capped. Your success is capped at 100,000. And that's crazy to me and there's not enough salary sacrifices you can do. If your salary is increasing because you're getting, maybe, pay increases, you're getting bonuses as soon as you hit 100K. And let me tell you, just because it's a bonus, you still have to. Well, you don't even have to declare it, they'll know. They'll know. So if your success like in terms of like working is capped at 100,000, that means that you're never going to really realise financially your full potential in terms of forget child you know working tax credit here, but I'm talking about in terms of being able to enjoy the fruits of your labour. This country doesn't allow you to do that. You're taxed at the highest tax rate. You don't even get access to the things that you're paying tax on. So, for example, the NHS it's a fucking joke. The NHS is a joke.
Speaker 1:The other day I called the GP surgery because basically I tried to get assessed for adult ADHD through my private healthcare but it doesn't actually cover that. So I was like, right, I'm gonna have to go through my doctor's surgery. It's so fucking irritating. But I spoke to my doctor and she was amazing. When she did a preliminary assessment, she gave me findings and I just felt for the first time in a really long time I was being heard and she was amazing. She really understood, and I don't know whether it's because she, like myself, is an ethnic minority. So there was this understanding and this cultural nuance to the conversation and she sent me the forms. I filled in the forms. She agreed to do the referral.
Speaker 1:Then I get a message from the GP surgery that says I need to book an appointment to see the doctor to finish the referral. So I called them up. I was like what do you mean? Finish the referral? I've done the referral. What do you need me to come and see the doctor? Oh, we, just, you just need to come see, I said.
Speaker 1:But what for the woman said I don't like your tone. I said are you okay? I said, excuse me, have you not flagged me up on your system? Don't like your tone. I said are you okay? I said excuse me, have you not flagged me up on your system? Don't ever think you can talk to me like that and I won't roll up to the doctor's surgery. I said first of all, I'm applying logic. I've completed a form, yeah.
Speaker 1:The doctor then needs to review the form and send it off, to be um, um, send the referral off and then the referral department or whatever department it goes to contact me. So I mean, this woman is doing back and forth. I said to her why are you gatekeeping a system that you don't have to? I'm paying for the system at the highest possible tax rate, yeah, and yet I'm trying to access something that I will probably be on a two-year waiting list to even get assessed. But you want to be a gatekeeper because you now believe I need to come in and see. I don't need to come in and see the doctor. And I said listen, I'm telling you right now, if I come to the doctor's surgery, you and I are going to have a big falling out because I'm going to ask you and encourage you, in front of your colleagues, to talk to me. How you're talking to me across this phone.
Speaker 1:I says I've had to beg for these forms. I do. You know the hurdles I've had to go through just to get the doctor to call me because of you guys. Then she called down because she realized that me and her girl, but blow for blow for this English grammar. Then I said she goes, okay, I'll get the doctor to call you. Doctor calls you. She's like I don't know why they're doing this, I don't need to speak to you, I just need to send the forms. I says oh, two plus two is four. Let your colleagues know. Let them know this is how the access you know access to NHS has become. There's so many barriers to access it. I have. I have Dr Sudra spun me a loop.
Speaker 1:Oh, we think you have endometriosis. We think you have PCOS. You definitely have fibroids. You've got three fibroids, four fibroids, six fibroids. Do you have fibroids? Oh, maybe there's something wrong with your womb. It's taken.
Speaker 1:I started my period at 12 years old. I'm now 40 years old. I now have a clear diagnosis and when I say clear, I mean absolutely, categorically clear diagnosis of what I've been suffering every month since the age of 12 years old, my periods. Last 10 days I'm in excruciating pain, vomiting, sickness, crouched over, can't move, heat. All of this, he, all of this just, and it's because I went private. Do you know how mad that is to me? Do you know how crazy that is? I've been paying into the system since I was 15 and a half years old.
Speaker 1:So when we talk about the UK being bad vibes, you're paying into systems that you can't even realise the benefit of. They tax you at source. You're paying into systems that you can't even realise the benefit of. They tax you at source. You earn over 100k. You get penalised for it. But then you could have a couple who jointly earn. So let's say they're both earning 80 grand each right. So if they take home 160,000 together, together, do you know they take home more than you do, who earns over 100k? So you could earn over 160k or just earn 160k yourself, and that couple will jointly take home more than you would as a single person, as an individual, earning 160k. That's how this country works.
Speaker 1:And then I was listening to LBC news yesterday sorry, not yesterday, end of last week and they were saying that the UK is the best country to invest in. No, no, no, no. We're investing in our, our brains, and knowing that there's no investment to be made here in the UK is it's rubbish. Listen, let me. Let me be really clear. I don't see my future here in the UK. I really don't, because I'm not getting anything for it. You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I'm paying into systems that are broken and then you want to charge VAT on private education to force us to send our children into a broken state school system where classes are oversubscribed, teachers are overworked, they don't have the facilities to look after these kids and teach them the things. But you want to force us. So first of all, you want to hinder our success financially. Then you want to force us out of private school. Put our children into state school so you can condition their minds into believing that africa is poor, there's nothing there, they're. The only wars they should know about is world war one, two. And then you want to condition our children again into believing that they're not worthy to be kings and queens, they're subservient. And then you want to teach them about the battle of hastings. And then afterwards you want me to then come and vote for you every four years. Kiss my bumhole because you're dumb.
Speaker 1:This is crazy to me. I'm sorry to be, but it's the truth and I feel like someone has to say it. Someone has to say it. Let me be really clear to you earning six figures in this country is a blessing and a curse at the same time. Can you imagine Earning six figures is a blessing Because as soon as you earn the six figures, you relinquish all this other stuff? That's crazy to me. That is actually mad. And then the actual cost of living, the ability to be able to access things, is so expensive.
Speaker 1:I don't even leave my house. Let me be honest, b, I don't like leaving my house anyway. Well, I'm not incentivized in any way to leave my house, because to get on a transport system I've already spent 50 pounds. If I'm leaving my house before 9.30, monday to Friday the weekend's no better, by the way because I'm spending 25 pounds, by the time I get to my end destination, I've spent £100. That's crazy For me. There's no economic benefits In the UK. There is none. I don't see it. And if I'm missing something, then please leave some comments and let me know, because I don't. Don't come and tell me oh, the western world, at least we have this and we're not in this and da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 1:But the point is, we all work our arses off, but what do you really have to show for it? You're waiting for the next paycheck, and the reason why you're waiting for the next paycheck is before the middle of the month. You've already spent the money, and paycheck is before the middle of the month. You already spent the money. And then people will say oh, you've got to save because the average person doesn't have 100 pounds in their account. Well, do you blame them? They're trying to live that some, some people, they're trying to live. And then you increase minimum wage by 2p and expect everybody to be happy about it. Yeah, I understand. Our child benefit is no, no longer 183 pounds a month, it's now 186, 100, whatever it is three pound, it's not even three pound. I'm even like it's pennies. Those pennies don't account for anything.
Speaker 1:If let's, let's take the system, for example. Right, you have a system that tells you that they want you in the office because you need to work Monday to Friday. Yeah, so you work Monday to Friday, start at 9, probably 8.30, 9 o'clock. You finish at 5. Your children go into school they start at 9, 8.30, 9 o'clock and they finish at 3.30. How does that work in terms of sustaining a family life, earning money and having balance? Something's got to give. So these companies, these 200 companies that signed up for a four-day week. It still doesn't work. It don't Because Monday to Thursday, you're still working nine to five. Your children are still going into education and finish everything. And what about them inset days? Who looks after them? Kids, with these organisations that no longer want to have remote work.
Speaker 1:I don't understand. I don't get it. I don't understand how an archaic system is supposed to support people to have some type of balance. The average person in the UK is miserable. How can a packet of chewing gum cost £1 something? Listen, I grew up. Chewing gum was like 25p. Now what the fuck is this? Sorry, this is my rant.
Speaker 1:I'm done, but I guess what I'm trying to say to you is I think it's important that where our parents left everything they knew to come and, you know, live in the UK in search of a better life, it's also okay for us to do the same. You understand that British dream is now a nightmare. We need to go and find our own dream. You understand, and I feel like we're not taught mobility, economic and social mobility. We're not actually taught that it doesn't have to be contained to where you are Like. You can look further afield. And this is what I really loved about remote working and the ability for us to really take time to think about how we view work and being able to have a work-life balance. That enabled you to have some remnants of a family life and find the balance, and this is why, for me personally, I work from home. Don't try me.
Speaker 1:The most I could ever go into someone's office is probably once a month. If you ask me to come once a week, you're paying for it. That's a fact. I have a whole office, I've got a whole setup and I understand collaboration. But I'm at that point where well society needs to collaborate with my pocket, because we're living in a society that tells you oh, the system is broken. You want us to fund the system and pay into the system, but you cap everybody at 100k and then it's a higher threshold. Then you've got people on the lower ends of the threshold who are paying what is it? 20% or whatever they're paying, and then they have the cheek to say that we should be subsidizing them. That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:I posted on tiktok not long ago and I told, I spoke about the fact that the average parent sending their child to private school is not rich. They're just saving and they're trying their best to give their child a good education. And someone had the audacious audacity, the cheek of everything that is great, to say to me in the comments. Then it should be for those private school parents then to move their child into state school. Then it will cause um the government, to then fund state schools. That's not our job. I don't run a charity. We we as parents are working hard to put our child in children into private school. We are are not a GoFundMe account.
Speaker 1:If you feel like your voice isn't heard, then amplify that voice. We're not here to subsidise you, because that person that's earning six figures is working their arse off. It's not like you just earn the six figures you're walking around. You actually have to bleed blood, sweat and tears, especially as an ethnic minority. So the fact that you now think it's also our responsibility to encourage your fucking government to fund the state schools is crazy to me.
Speaker 1:It's crazy, and the assumption that people that send their children to private school are rich is even more crazy. No, that's not true. You don't know how long these people have been saving for to send their child to private school. And no offense, when I'm looking at some of these, I'm a state school kid. When I'm looking at some of these state schools, I'm scared because some of them don't even have that reading age that's attributed to their age. So what are you learning in there? To use iPads and talk about sex? Nonsense, donald Trump, he's basically said I think is it the 6th of February he's given federal workers a deadline Return to the office or you'll be sacked.
Speaker 1:He then went on to say that those people who do not return to the office, he wants even to launch investigation in case they've been having more than one job, since they've been working from home for many years. Some people have never seen the office, and me and Kay were talking about this and I was like listen, it depends what's in their contract. If there isn't a clause in their contract that says they can only exclusively work for the government, then technically and legally speaking they actually can take other roles. But then I guess the question is about productivity. So if you've been listening to this podcast, I hope that you've been staying on top of your objectives. You've got feedback files, you've got all the things that kind of support how you've been delivering, so that no one can say if you have been having multiple jobs that that has affected your delivery and your ability to do your job.
Speaker 1:Now I don't know in America what it says about federal workers and additional jobs, so I know everyone has different contracts. You have to let me know. Um, a lot of our US cousins have been emailing me telling me what's been going on, especially federal workers, because I'm so interested. But I had someone that sent me an email and she said that, um, a lot of federal workers have been like offered like a buyout. So effectively, it requires them to resign and it's on the provide I can't even say that word. It's on the proviso that they will then be offered, be offered a buy, and they've got until the 6th of February this year 2025, to accept. And what they've said is they will then pay them for six months. So they'll just pay them through payroll for six months and after six months, that's it. So they're basically buying them out. Now this is off the back of Trump saying that he wants to slim the workforce of federal workers because he thinks there's more workers than there is work effectively.
Speaker 1:But the person that sent me the email said to me, toya, she would be stupid to accept this because it's not a buyout in the normal way. A buyout is done. They're going to still pay them through payroll, so effectively, she could resign. And they'd be like oh yeah, we did say we were going to do this, but there's no contractual obligation to do it. And she said listen, the law is different in different states here in the US. But something I've taken from you is this If we're not signing a contract, if we're not signing something that says you're going to do something, then why am I doing it? I can't just take a sheet of paper that you have written something on and said that you promised to do this, this, that, and the other she goes. I don't trust Donald Trump, as it is Everything he said he was going to do. He is doing, but he's doing punitively, and it only affects people who are. It only affects people who, for him, are at the bottom of the totem pole. So, as far as she's concerned, she goes. Yeah, she wants to buy out, but she's not willing to compromise, resigning at the thought of the rug being pulled from underneath her.
Speaker 1:So those of you are American cousins that listen to the podcast just really know what you're doing a buyout, that why it says since they have well, I was going to say since they have the money. But I know that this quote-unquote buyout was not budgeted for. So this is why, apparently, they're saying that they can't just kind of buy them out up front. But my thing is, is it then going to be budgeted for through the payroll. It don't make no sense, do you understand? So you don't have the budget to buy people out, but you've got the budget to pay them on payroll for six months. So you either have the budget or you don't. If Trump is committed to slimlining federal government workers, then he needs to go and find the money, and that's the truth. He needs to go and find the money, um. So yeah, I thought I'd share that with you, because this he's waging war on remote workers, federal workers. I don't know what the hell is going on with Donald Trump.
Speaker 1:If you know what I've always wondered don't they do psych analysis on um incoming presidents? Because I feel like that needs to be a prerequisite. I'm sure they do, like health checks, but I feel like they need to do a psych analysis just to make sure, because these people they they've got the codes, do you understand? They got access to a lot of things that could be detrimental to the world. So I'd like to think that they would have like some type of psych evaluation before they're given the role. It's like oh, you've won the election, now it's time for yourself. Actually, what they should do is do the psych um psych evaluations for all people kind of uh in the race to be the president and the prime minister in the UK and then, on the basis of that, they can then run. Do you know? I mean like there's a prerequisite. I feel like it needs to happen, because once they get into power, they move mad, these executive. I'm scared, yes, because if he listen, if Trump levies tariffs to the UK, we're fucked. That's the truth. So whatever you think is expensive now is even cheap nonsense.
Speaker 1:On talk about donald trump, his vice president, I'm joking. I know elon musk is not trump's vice president, but he moves like that. So obviously, remember, I told you that elon musk has this job title. I wrote this job title down. I need to tell y'all let me not misquote yeah, I, I write shit down, don't you know? Where is it? Where is it Elon Musk? Where are you? Ooh, I can't find it. What's his job? Yes, he co-leads the Department of Government Efficiency. Do you know? As part of his role he's.
Speaker 1:Now the Trump administration has given Elon Musk access to the Treasury's federal payment system, which includes Social Security, medicare and other private information that is, financially sensitive information of the American people. Elon Musk has access to this. Now, if you're thinking, you've got to remember Elon Musk owns Twitter. Elon Musk owns Twitter. You do know that personal data is currency. What is he going to do with that information? That's what people should be worried about. What is he going to do with that information and the fact that he has access to it and he's got this make-believe job? God help the american people with what he's going to do with that piece of information. And I think the scariest part is is how easy it is for the administration, the trump administration, to in like to put people into positions without any being pre-qualified for it.
Speaker 1:Department of government efficiency. Are you a businessman? Are you a government worker? Who are you, elon musk? So have you guys listen.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you something here. You know, when rich white people they be arguing, I learn a lot. That's why I watch Made in Chelsea. I love it when rich people argue honestly, the way they argue, like they argue poshly your Birkin bag is fake. Oh my gosh. She said my Birkin bag is fake. Like we need to talk about it. Like how do we move on from here? Just had these people be arguing. I'm joking, but I want to talk about blake lively and justin baldoni now I don't know if you guys have seen like I know that's some white people's shit, this is white people's business. But we have to pay attention because we learn from situations. We listen and we don't judge. We learn and we learn and we learn. This is how we're navigating white people seriously. This is how we're navigating white people Seriously. This is how we're navigating white dominated spaces. It's through learning from and that's how I've learned Honestly.
Speaker 1:And I want to start by saying, before I get into the Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni whole situation, amber Heard, amber Heard, amber Heard um, everybody knew, like, if you wasn't following the whole Johnny Depp and Amber Heard and how that whole thing played out, I think it's important that you just go and refresh your mind.
Speaker 1:I feel like Hollywood ever since I say ever since, but since the whole unearthing of Weinstein and how, um a lot of actors were treated and how, um actors were abused and used and um a lot of assaults that happened, sexual assaults that happen and a lot of abuse of power I feel like Hollywood is on high alert of situations like that.
Speaker 1:Um, I definitely think that when looking and reading what's happening with Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni, I think it's important to say this. We live in a society that says, oh, we trust, we trust, we believe the victims, we believe the victims. But I'm going to say this you can believe the victim and still want the truth. And I feel like we're living in a society that says, oh, you want the truth, oh, you're victim blaming, you don't believe in the victim. I'm going to be very clear when I say this. I'm going to be very clear when I say this when a woman accuses a man of whatever, I will believe the victim, but I also want to know the facts and I want to know what the truth is and where it sits so that, as well as believing the victim, the evidence supports what the victim is saying victim.
Speaker 1:The evidence supports what the victim is saying. I think it's very important to say this because I hate the fact that when you talk about the truth, people think that you're going against an alleged victim. And for me, the truth is important because if somebody accuses my brother of something, I'm not just going to believe the person blindly. I will acknowledge the victim God forbid but it's important that we know that any accusation that's levied that could be your brother, that could be your uncle, and whilst there may be truth in what is being said, you need to know the truth in its totality. It's important for us to do our readings, it's important to be educated and it's important to get to the truth. It ends with us is a book that was made into a film, and justin um baldoni who is and I just want to give a bit of a background between them. So justin baldoni is a big hollywood star in his own right. He's best known for starring in one of the lead roles in Jane the Virgin. I never actually got into that uh series. I don't really like it. He also owns a production company that owned the rights to the book that was made into a film called it Ends With Me. Blake Lively is a very big Hollywood star, almost seen and catapulted. I say catapulted, but she's been made into the Hollywood sweetheart. She's married to Ryan Reynolds and formerly Ryan Reynolds was formerly married to Scarlett Johansson. That's what I'm going to say Now. Blake Lively is best known for her role in Gossip Girl, and Gossip Girl was huge. I'd never really gotten to Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl was huge. I'd never really gotten to Gossip Girl. I'm not even gonna lie and I don't know why, I just didn't, but it was huge. And Blake Lively has gone on to star in many films, obviously being married to Ryan Reynolds, who is the lead actor in Deadpool, and so many other films that he starred in. But they're like a power couple, right, but more importantly, they're rich.
Speaker 1:Now, as I said, um, it ends with us is a book that was made into a film. Justin baldoni is one of the lead characters in the film and he's directing the film. Um, he owns a production company that were actually producing the film and Blake Lively is the lead female character. So if you know the book or you've read about the book, it's about domestic violence and it deals with domestic violence as a core theme and their sub-theme. So it's quite a heart-wrenching book that was made into a film. It deals with so many different things, but the sensitivity behind the book is really important, especially when it went on to be mark. Um, they went on to promote the film, so we'll get into that anyway. Now. Justin baldoni considers himself a feminist and he talks about women's rights a lot, um, and he's done. You know he's a like. He considers himself an ally and an activist. He's been awarded um by women's organizations awards within the industry for advocating and supporting women and advancing the voices of women. He's a women's advocate. He places himself, he calls himself a feminist.
Speaker 1:Now Blake Lively has made some very serious allegations. In fact, she's taken out a civil lawsuit against justin baldoni and she's accused him of repeated sexual harassment and other disturbing behaviors discussed with. She's alleging that he's discussed his porn addiction with her um. He was discussing his genitalia and apparently entered her trailer while she was breastfeeding or undressing or getting ready, and she's taken out this lawsuit against him and his production company. Now, um, before the lawsuit, there was a meeting that was called to address the hostile work environment and she was accompanied by her husband, ryan Reynolds. Um. She then said that she wanted an intimacy coach to be there for all the sexual scenes, um, and she also said that she wanted um Baldoni to not make any references to her dead father. Now, as part of this lawsuit, she, blake Lively, is also alleging that there was a, a, a smear campaign that was created to mitigate what was happening or her experiences within the workplace, as in within the film, and the workplace is basically where the film is being produced. She's acting. That is her workplace.
Speaker 1:Um, justin baldoni went on to hire a crisis manager and this crisis manager posted social media content. Allegedly she's a legend. This crisis manager that was hired by Baldoni then went on to produce social media content to turn people against her and it affects she's alleging it affected her life and his aim was to suppress the narrative of him sexually harassing her. Um. She was also alleging that in films there was like lingering kisses, advanced um. You know he was making advances towards her and then what he would do is he would prolong kind of kissing and sexual scenes or he would change things without any advance notice or consent. Now, baldoni, like a lot of stuff happened in between and the reason I'm condensing it for you guys, for those of you who are interested, but also because it leads on to what I want to say next.
Speaker 1:But Baldoni then went on to sue um the New York Times, and he's suing them for 250 million dollars for libel. And what he's saying is there was a smear campaign but the smear campaign was against him and he alleges that the New York Times aided and abetted the smear campaign and that smear campaign was to basically ruin him and ruin his name. The New York Times did publish something about Baldoni and it was quite a negative article, I would say, and he was saying that this was kind of like encouraged, plotted and planned by allegedly by Blake Lively. Now the fallout of this is the reputational damage Baldoni has been dropped by his talent agency and the award that he was awarded for advocating for women's rights has been rescinded. Baldoni then went on to make a counterclaim to sue Blake Lively and her husband, ryan Reynolds, for $400 million for reputational damage, civil extortion and invasion of privacy, amongst other things, and this was a counterclaim in response then to Blake Lively. So he's basically suing those two parties separate lawsuits the New York Times, blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. Now I don't know if you ever saw any images of the press tours and stuff, or watch the press tours.
Speaker 1:Blake Lively did not come off very well. Like, how are you telling people go and see the film, wear your, your, your, your cutest dress, or this, this? You're dealing with a film that deals with really serious issues and yet you're using it as an opportunity to sell your brand because she I think she has like a makeup line, ryan reynolds has a drink line and apparently, as part of like the marketing they try to you, to try to like sell their personal brands when they're supposed to be promoting the film. Now, when it the movie premiered, um bell dony was in the basement with his family and friends, whilst Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively were on the red carpet doing their thing. Now I just want to double back a little bit.
Speaker 1:Um, during the course of the film, there was a lot of creative differences, bearing in mind, baldoni is the director, he owns the rights, his production company are producing this book into a film and they cast Blake Lively, but there was a lot of like fallout. There was a lot of things that she was trying to do, she was trying to basically change a lot of things and you know it became quite a hostile environment and there are so many voice notes and voice messages, him trying to like, keep the bell down. He's trying to keep the peace. Bearing in mind, you've got a power couple that you're dealing with here like. They're not like, look like like little. You know insignificant people. They're very significant in the hollywood scene but, um, also as well, blake lively and taylor swift are like the best of friends and allegedly I don't know how true this is, but apparently Taylor Swift is the godmother of one or two of Blake Lively's children. The reason I mentioned Taylor Swift is the force of which, if you understand music and you understand the movement that is Taylor Swift's movement, you understand the influence that she has. And as part of, uh, baldoni's counter counterclaim, he talks about how he was made to feel intimidated, how blake lively used her connections. I think even taylor swift is mentioned in the lawsuit.
Speaker 1:I'll say all of this to say to just give you a quick summary of it, because there's a lot of stuff going around. I don't know if you're interested. I'm interested and I see white people arguing with me. I need to go, dear Baldoni, now, I don't.
Speaker 1:Wherever you sit on the fence of what's happened or whatever, you have a woman that's alleged sexual harassment and given what's happened in Hollywood and what's been happening in Hollywood, but what was polarised with Weinstein, you know immediately you think to yourself that this could happen. It's happened before. Where Bell Donnie went wrong is this. Blake Lively displayed behaviour that was difficult to work with and he should have got rid of her straight. He should have got rid of her. I was easy to do that. You really paid to do that. Look at the reputational damage.
Speaker 1:Now that you're now packing up and picking up, I feel like there's a lot of things that are going to fall out of this that we're going to have to learn from. But let's start here. Don't wait for your face to be put in the mud before you learn your lesson. Don't wait for the wounds to hurt before you know you've been wounded. Sometimes you have to understand when to cut your losses. You understand what I'm saying to you. When someone shows you who they are, believe them and move accordingly.
Speaker 1:I definitely upon like my research and reading part of the lawsuit and everything, I'm going to say this I don't know what's gone on between Ryan Reynolds and how involved he is in Blake Lively's decision to sue Baldoni, but what I am going to say is we have two power couples here effectively trying to control Baldoni and how this film is directed, and a lot of it is ego, a lot of it is, I believe, a lot of it is power. And I think that when you're in certain industries or even just in the workplace, the way your colleagues and the way people you work with will exert power over you or try to exert power over you is dangerous if you allow it to go unchecked when it becomes disrespectful. And I feel like some of us want to hang in there because we don't want to give up, or some of us want to hang in there because we don't want to be seen as weak, and especially as Black women. We always perch our legs in suffering and I just don't feel that that needs to be the starting position for us. As black women. We don't have the privilege of being able. I mean, look what happened to me when that guy basically called me a prostitute or whatever else he called me. If I was a white woman I could just fling my tears to HR. This man will probably be on his final warning. But as a black woman, I know I have to move strategically, because they will gaslight me into believing it was said in jest. Oh, you know, he's been working here for such a long time, he's a nice guy. They would make me feel like I'm wrong for making a formal complaint of formal grievance because of the passage of time and because he's a white man. So already, as a black woman, I understand that I have to take what is happening because, on a bigger level, I know if it happens again, I can then go to HR, prove a pattern of behaviour, either get him sacked, final warning. But more importantly, I know that I will be able to present my case in such a way that HR have to do something about it. This is how it operates differently for us as black women, as black people. White people can fling their tears.
Speaker 1:I mean, ok, whether Blake Lively experienced sexual harassment in the workplace? I don't know. Experienced sexual harassment in the workplace? I don't know. And honestly, when I'm reading the lawsuit, I'm just thinking to myself Blake, you were breast pumping. There was a situation where you were breast pumping. They knocked on your trailer and you let them in and they witnessed you breast pumping. You let them in, you gave them consent to watch. So in my head I'm thinking, yes, every time they would go to her trailer, they need to ask for that consent, right? I'm trying to understand and it's not coming from the lawsuit. It's not clear to me, then, how these other situations arise that give rise to the sexual harassment. Did you withdraw that consent? I don't understand. Did they force their way in your trailer?
Speaker 1:Now, apparently, the case will go before the court next year, so a lot of these details will come out. But this is why I said to you that you have to understand that you can still believe the accuser, but leave room to consider what the truth is and where it sits. That's what I'm saying Now. This is a battle of integrity, reputation. This is a battle for his career. Baldoni is fighting for his career because if he loses this, he's done. He's done. He has amazing lawyers. That's what I'm going to say. They know how to work the media. They apparently they had a website where anything that was already in the public domain they just put it on this website. Right? They released his WhatsApp messages to Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds Like there was a lot of stuff on there.
Speaker 1:Now a lot of people are like, oh my God, how can he do this? Because there was a hearing today. Blake Lively's team wanted there to be like an injunction placed on Baldoni's legal team to not kind of put evidence into the public domain and allow the court system to do its thing. Baldoni's lawyers know what they're doing. At the end of the day, they know that the jury will be a selection of people who are their peers, that the jury will be a selection of people who are their peers. Who are their peers. It's people in society. So what he's trying to do is flood the truth. He's using the truth he wants to position in the social media court of public opinion because he knows that when this goes to trial, people will already be influenced by what they already see as the truth. And, to be fair, when you're fighting for your reputation, you believe that you're innocent. For you personally, this is part of a tactic, as part of your defence.
Speaker 1:Now Baldani's counterclaim talks about harassment in a different way. It talks about harassment in a different way. It talks about harassment, but not not sexual. It talks about bullying, victimization, harassment. Um, you know, and the case is an unfortunate one on both sides. But it could have been avoided had baldoni taken the unprecedented approach by just removing her as soon as she showed madness. Move her. And that's what you should have done, because now what's happened is people are not talking about the film, even though it did really well, but now he's no, he hasn't got talent, agency awards are being rescinded and he's fighting for his reputation.
Speaker 1:Blake lively I don't think she brought this case thinking it would go this far. I don't actually think that. And Taylor Swift has distanced herself from the friendship allegedly it's been reported Because she feels used. Yeah, and he talks about that, but all he talks about is in his suit, that he feels like, in a way, that he was threatened that if he didn't kind of concede to what they wanted, then Swiftie was Swift. Do you understand a way that he was threatened that if he didn't kind of concede to what they wanted, then swifty was swift. Do you understand?
Speaker 1:And we see it in the workplace, right, I gave you an example of it where this guy has basically called me a prostitute. He's called me out of my name, he's degraded me, he's humiliated me, and yet you've got another colleague saying oh, you know, he's been here for a long time. He gets on with people this, this, this and the other. This is the system you're fighting against, where somebody can do something to you, but they will use their privilege of being a man, privilege of being a white man, privilege of the passage of time, and it will reduce your experience to nothing but a mistake. That's fucking crazy, and this is why I talk about being strategic, and this is why I talk about this burn folder, and this is why I talk about gathering evidence. When something has happened to you, send a tease message to a colleague I've spoken about so many instances of head experiences where these people will be called as witnesses. They will be. It's an audit trail of your experience and how it's happened, how you're processing it and the impact it's having on you.
Speaker 1:You have to understand that to win this race and it's a race for, and when I talk about race and winning the race, it's the race to the truth In order for you to realise and have the benefit of being protected by a system that has been built against you, you have to have evidence that they can't get out of, and sometimes it's not even going to be on the first offence. It's going to have to be on the second, third and fourth offence that showed a pattern of behaviour and if someone says well, why don't you come to HR? Listen, if they ask me, why don't you come to us when there was a first incident? I'm going to tell the truth Because, as a black woman, I do not believe that you would place enough weight on one situation that's happened, irrespective of the gravity, because of the passage of time and the fact that, as a black woman, I understand, as a minority, how I am made to feel that my feelings don't count. I am void of emotion and the fact that, as a black woman, in that situation where there was white men, no one defended me. So why would I then expect an HR who represent the organization to defend me? I have to defend myself and strategically show you a pattern of behaviour that your policies have told me that you don't tolerate. I need you to see that it wasn't just a joke or a jest or an accident. This is this person's pursued approach to work. This is their modus operandi, this is how they operate. Give them Latin and it's fucking exhausting. You know that grown people don't know how to act and I've said this before. I've said this on social media. I feel like white people often don't know how to behave around black people. I have so many examples of it. Don't know how to act. Do you know that white people find it difficult to say black people, the word black people, like when you're talking about something, you say black woman, they don't even say some of them not all of them, right, but my, in my experience, they can't even say black woman. It's like they think the word black is offensive. That's fucking mad to me, but you're happy to call me that n-word. Make it fucking make sense.
Speaker 1:On the 24th of december I was working, right, I worked right up until Christmas and my last day in the office 24th the office, but you know what I mean remotely 24th of December so I'd been working on, um, a particular deal. I was working on something, right, and it was pretty quiet. When I say working on it, it was kind of going through the motion, the governance process, whatever. So I'm downstairs making myself something to eat and I have my laptop with me just because, right, it was quiet anyway. And I was pulled into a meeting you know the ones on Teams, yeah, where they'll be having a meeting and then they invite you. So you're pulled into this meeting Now.
Speaker 1:Now, before that happened. There was an exchange of emails. Somebody had asked me something and answered the question. Then, 10 minutes later, I get pulled into a meeting. There's two white men on the call and they're like Toya, we have a problem question. No, we have a problem and this is the problem question.
Speaker 1:And they were telling me and I said yeah, but I've already told you that I've done what I need to do. You have to allow it to go through the process. They said oh, no, we've got an issue, we need to do this and now this is our problem to sort out. No, it's not my problem. This is the 24th of december. I'm on my way to bethlehem. This is not my problem to sort out. This is looking like a your problem, because you don't know how to manage your time. You don't know how to do your job and the way they were talking to me it's like they were. It was like they'd rehearsed what they were going to say. I would have no words in edgeways and they were gonna bully me to do what they want and take on their problem on my shoulders and ruin my passage to Bethlehem. I said not to do so, as they're talking, talking. They were just talking amongst themselves.
Speaker 1:I went on pause. I was making my toast with lure pack butter, I was adjusting my. They were like Toya, are you there? And I deliberately did not put my camera on. And I didn't put my camera on because, number one, you don't get to just call me out of the blue, not even to message me, say are you available. You just call me out of the blue because you expect me to be fully ready to serve you. I'm not, I'm not going. I'm not here to serve you. I'm not here to serve your stress. I'm not here to take on your stress. Not Christmas Eve, honey, not Christmas Eve. I'm looking for a present for Jesus. What the hell is this? So, anyway? And me, I'm on my way to Bethlehem, like I said. Me, I'm in prayer. Me, I'm awaiting Christmas. So I'm not here for your nonsense. And you're not considering the fact that this is Christmas Eve. You're not considering the fact that this is Christmas Eve. You're not considering the fact that I've given you the answer. You want an alternative answer so that it fits into what you're.
Speaker 1:Do you know how this ended? They were talking, talking, talking. They kept asking me if I was there. I said I'm here. He was like oh, I don't know if you're there because you haven't switched your camera on. I just went quiet Because not every stupid point needs an answer or response. I'm not responding, you don't control me. You're not controlling me. This was a battle of the wheels, it was a battle of power. No, you're gonna lose with me, you know, especially when you come at me like that, because then all I'm thinking about is you're trying to control me to prove that you're a man. You're trying to control me because in your house, clearly you have no power in your house. So you come outside now and you think you can come here to tell me you're not doing that. It's not gonna happen. So then he, then the way the call ended, then he said so what are you gonna do to help? I said I have nothing to offer you here. He said oh, is your manager working today? I said he's not, but his number is on his email signature.
Speaker 1:I was ready, because there's never going to be a day ever where anyone's going to bully me, never going to be a day where you're going to bully me in the workplace and never going to be a day where a white man thinks that he can talk to me like I'm mad. He can talk to me anyhow kick me like football. It's not going to happen. I'm going to stay ten toes and they don't expect you to defend yourself. They expect you to be meek and mild and to crumble. And I'm telling you this now If you show any sign of weakness, these people will destroy you for fun. Do you know? Until this day I'm talking to you today's what is it the second or third of february? Third of february I've not heard not once from these guys.
Speaker 1:There was a time back in the day where young tuya that didn't understand how the world of work operated. I will not sleep trying to sort these people's problem, because I'd be taking it as my problem. And knowing what is your problem and what is not your problem is very important, and this is why I say to you in education system, I feel like their first opportunity to make you subservient is through the teachers. Listen, I've got so much to say. There's so much to say in these podcast episodes, so much these teachers will.
Speaker 1:They don't represent what the working world is, but what they are is a reflection of society. A reflection of society, some of these teachers, and it's the truth. Then they don't prepare you for the working world. Then you're expected to go out and get a job. They don't prepare you. They don't tell you about your rights, they don't tell you about your employment. They don't tell you nothing. Then, when you go and get this job, because you've been conditioned to believe that your teachers have now morphed into your employers you will now be prostrating for these people that don't give a fuck. These people wanted to stress my life on Christmas Eve. I will never forget it, even today. I'm working on a deal, I'm in negotiations, right.
Speaker 1:So I get a message from one random guy that works in my organisation. I don't know who the fuck this guy is. He sends me a Teams message and he says Hi, I was speaking to so-and-so client and I spoke to the director internally and he said that you're the one that's negotiating this. So I want to know what I can do to help. Who the fuck are you? That's what I thought in my head. Who the fuck are you? It's the energy. So I message are you the relationship manager? Because what I'm trying to say to him is introduce us. I don't know who you are. He said no, I'm not a relationship manager. Uh, I do in, I'm in so-and-so department and this particular client uh, they are client in this department, in this domain, uh, so they were just giving me update and they were telling me.
Speaker 1:And then when I spoke to the director, he said I should come and talk to you. I sent a message in this life when I tell you learn grammar, learn how to speak like these people, learn them. Learn them. I said yeah, okay, do me or do you now? No, go this, trust me, I trust you. Step on the dance floor. He wants to step on my motherfucking dance floor. Let's dance, let's twirl honey.
Speaker 1:I then sent him a message of all the negotiation points, the position and why. I then said to him if you would like to be copied in the email, I'm quite happy to copy you. I'll be responding to them. However, this is the position. The fact that XY director told you to speak to me Is because we're holding the line. So if you want to help us, it's better that you communicate to the client. This is the line. They should change their stance for us To be able to move forward.
Speaker 1:Do you know his response after him writing his dissertation in the message? You know his response to me thanks exclamation mark, this one that said what you can do to help. I'm even telling you telling me thanks, and I'll tell you why he did that. He wanted me to be like oh my God, oh please, what should I do? Just because you want to lick these people's ass doesn't mean I've got to do it and you're not going to use bullish tactics to get what you want out of me so that you can be licking ass with those people. I'm here to do my job and I'm going to do my job well. I don't give a fuck about who you are, but what you're never going to do, what you're never, ever going to do, is talk to me like a piece of shit and think I'm not going to fucking drag you. I'm going to fucking drag you to the bush. You're going to get bark in your bum. Don't try it with me.
Speaker 1:This is the energy you have to have, and it takes time. It takes time to have the type of energy whereby you're like. You know what you want to die on the hill. Let me meet you on the hill, but you have to get there. I have enough confidence in what I do. I have enough confidence in me that if, tomorrow, I walk away, I'm promising you. I'm promising you that angels, that ancestors, god Almighty, will create a path for me. That's a fact. That's a fact and this is why I say to people make yourself a subject matter expert so you can have options.
Speaker 1:When you don't allow yourself to have options, then you feel trapped. When you feel trapped, you feel like you have to do whatever you can do to maintain the status quo so that you can xyz, and I'm never, ever, ever going to be at the mercy of anybody. That's a decision I made to myself many years ago, when I was working for a particular organization and I thought I was doing really well on my probation period. This is before I. I realized how the world of work operates and this woman waited less than a week before the end of my probation to tell me that she's extending my probation. I had no plan. I was blindsided. This, this woman, brought out my CV and started marking it up with red pen. I made a decision that day never, ever again. It's not going to happen. I'm never going to be at your mercy.
Speaker 1:I'm going to hold the line in terms of my job, and one thing with me is I'm always open to learning. I'm open. You can come to me about anything. I stay educated, but I'm not going to. I'm not a stupid person for staying educated. I want to maintain being a subject matter expert. So if that means I have to do the additional courses, I have to shadow somebody, whatever it is I have to do. But once I'm doing the job, you under no circumstances is ever going to feel like you can back me up into a corner to get what you want.
Speaker 1:And you have to understand how to navigate these white spaces as, especially as black women, you've got to be strong. They don't expect you to be strong in how you approach them. They expect you to be subservient because once upon a time they met a black woman that they could bully. They met a black woman who was willing to bend and you have to get to a point where it just can't happen, or at least you're willing to challenge. And I believe that there's ways that you can challenge things in a professional way and people may not like you challenging, but don't ever get that confused with the challenge. You understand people don't like how you challenge. Hold hold like you hold your ground to them. It's challenging, but holding your ground is like I've.
Speaker 1:I know what I'm doing here, I've got this, and that was my communication to the colleague today. Now, if he had approached me like hi Toya, my name is da da, da or whatever. I'm xyz um, and I was talking about the client to the client, about something completely nothing to do with what you're doing, and they brought this up now. Now they're difficult, or whatever, whatever. Even he had the cheek to say in his message you know, we treat them very. No, there was a way he said it. He was like they're a special class. I don't give a fuck if they're special, I don't care. They're special to you, motherfucker, they're special to you. They're special to you, motherfucker, they're special to you.
Speaker 1:You have to know your job better than your boss. If possible, or if your boss is like the person that knows your job the most, you need to learn from them so that when you're out there, when you're interacting with colleagues, you're able to be confident in your job. And I'm going to tell you this what makes me confident about my job is my ability to stay learning. I don't close my mind off. So then, when somebody comes now and tries to force their views or force themselves in order to get a certain response from me. I'm not going to have it. I'm not, I'm sorry, I can't. And there is something that's conditioned in my mind that tells me that I've been through a lot in the workplace, especially with white men, white women, with white men, white women, non-black people. I've been through a lot, so I can't ever go back to the feelings I felt, the gaslighting, the bullying, the harassment, the humiliation. Oh sorry, I can't ever go back to that and, as I want to, never, ever again. Is it ever going to happen to me? It's not. So that thanks. Exclamation mark. Was him being sarcastic? The exclamation mark is I heard you. What do you want to do next? Bukina Faso. Bukina Faso was previously called the Republic of Upper Volta between 1958 and 1984. They were then renamed by the former president, thomas Sankara. Bukina Faso borders Mali, niger, benin, togo, ghana and Ivory Coast. Burkina Faso is a very important country. Right now, they're changing the game.
Speaker 1:As an African woman, I'm making my personal mission to understand my history, to understand Africa and to understand the economic what's the word for it? The economic oppression of Africa. I think that's what we're going to call it Now. I don't know if you've ever heard of EC us, so I want you to think of echo us as almost like a trade union for west africa. Echo us is the economic community of west african states and it's made up of 15 west african countries and effectively um. Echoas deals with all things to do with trade and Africa and how Africa kind of trades with the West, and there's so many different things in which ECOWAS deals with right, but remember that the name ECOWAS stands for the Economic Community of West African States, islamic community of West African states, and it's made up of countries who are very vital to the heartbeat of the West because they be able to supply things like uranium, gold. There's so many different things like natural resources that Africa has.
Speaker 1:Now I want you guys to understand something. Now I want you guys to understand something the media, the Western media, will tell you that Africa there are certain countries in Africa, the poorest countries in the world, but yet the West won't leave Africa or the African countries alone. If it's so poor, why are you there? I think the biggest lie that's ever been told in society is that Africa is poor. Africa is not poor. Africa is financially and economically oppressed. It's not poor. Africa is actually very, very rich. I feel like, spiritually, it's the way the ancestors have. I feel like the ancestors have given Africa is the birthplace of the world and I feel like the ancestors have made Africa rich, because Africa is rich, if that makes sense, but you have. When I talk about the West, I talk about the UK, I talk about America, I talk about France, I talk about Belgium and many other countries, but those are the core countries I talk about when I talk about the West Now, without going too deep, because I don't want to lose anybody, but equally as well, I think it's really important that you do your own research.
Speaker 1:But the reason I talk about Burkina Faso is because Burkina Faso is under military rule by Ibrahim Torore. He's the president, he's appointed a prime minister called Jean-Emmanuel Ogarogo. I know I'm not pronouncing that well, please forgive me. Effectively, and to cut a long story short, burkina Faso has basically said ah, france, we don't want you here anymore, please, we want you to leave. We want you to leave our country and we no longer want to be part of ECOWAS anymore as one of the 15 West African countries. We don't want it. Now, as a response by the West, it's like how dare you leave ECOWAS? This is how we're controlling you guys, your minerals and your resources. This is how we're controlling you. This is how we're economically oppressing you, burkina Faso and its other 15 countries. How dare you? Burkina Faso said we don't care, we don't want anything to do with ECOWAS. Again with ECOWAS again.
Speaker 1:Then the West pressured the countries or the member countries in ECOWAS to add sanctions to Burkina Faso. Burkina Faso said eh so you guys want to add give us sanction to prevent us from actually prospering because we no longer want to be oppressed? Okay, no problem. Burkina Faso then linked up and I say linked up because it's the only way you know, you guys have to get you to understand what's happening here then decided to partner up with Mali and Niger, to then create an alliance called the Sahel State and I know I'm not pronouncing that correctly, but you get my drift. So the Sahel State is a direct response to the sanctions placed upon them by ECOWAS.
Speaker 1:Then what happened is the West were like fucking hell. They tried to convince Bukinofaso to return back to ECOWAS. They said ah, we're not returning. They then lifted the sanctions from ECOWAS. Now I want to be clear about something. When Bukinofasa said we want our economic liberation. France said not France. America said we're not leaving. You know, they have diplomats and everybody there. They said we're not leaving. Bukinofasa said eh, you don't want to leave? Okay, cool, since we're poor, go back. America said we're not leaving. Bukhina Faso said eh, you don't want to leave? Okay, cool, since we're poor, go back. America said we're not leaving. He said no problem.
Speaker 1:Bukhina Faso then decided to align itself with Russia. Russia said you know what? We've got your back. What do you guys need? We're here for you. Obviously, we need some of your natural resources. I'm sure you guys can do us a deal, bukina Faso. So don't worry, what we need from you guys is support. We need army support. We need protection, because if we don't have this protection, the West will now overthrow the government to reinstall who they want in Bukina Faso, and all these great things that we're doing for our country to liberate ourselves from economic oppression will be lost. Russia's like you know what it's cool.
Speaker 1:Russia then sends its representatives to Bukhanefaso. Bukhanefaso said no problem, go and lodge with our American diplomats who don't want to leave Russia. Go and stay with them. So Russia's diplomats went there, so they were staying in the same place. America was like no, no, it's becoming uncomfortable. America then decided to leave. So Bukhanefaso has the support of Russia and you know Russia and China are best friends. So if they're best friends, they're going to be best buddies with Bukhanefaso are best friends. So if they're best friends, they're going to be best buddies with Bukinafaso as part of this alliance, the Sahel states. It's basically dealing with the liberation of economic oppression, and what the president of Bukinafaso, ibrahim Torreira, is trying to do is basically he wants to place Bukina Faso in a position whereby they realize their richness. So all the money that Bukina Faso owed the World Bank, all their debts, they've paid all their debts off.
Speaker 1:The reason why I'm saying this very high level, it's very high level that I'm giving it to you guys, because this is a podcast, it's not. You know, I could talk two hours and really go into the history of what's happening here, like understanding france, france's role in colonization. If you really want to understand what's happening in africa, you need to do your history. I'm sorry if you can hear something. I've got the baby monitor on because my daughter's asleep Now and my husband's asleep too.
Speaker 2:Everyone's asleep but me.
Speaker 1:I think it's important to. When you're talking about the economic liberation of Africa, I think we need to be talking about Mama Gaddafi, conor Gaddafi. So for the purposes of this, I'm going to call him Gaddafi. Gaddafi wanted a single currency. Gaddafi wanted a single currency, the dina. It's a single African currency backed by gold. They said that Gaddafi has weapons of mass destruction. Gaddafi did. There was a propaganda that was put through the media. This is how they murdered Gaddafi. A lot of leaders who wanted economic liberation in Africa, a lot of African leaders go and do your Googles. Thomas Sankara is one of them. They murdered him.
Speaker 1:The West instigated, paid for, contributed to the murders of those who wanted to liberate Africa from oppression. So when they say Africa is poor, it may be poor in mind, because they've been conditioned to believe that they need to be subservient to the West. Bukina Faso, even recently, said ah, if you want to take our natural resources, you have to pay. You can't just come in and take it and think that you don't have to pay. That's not how this works. See, the West is so used to taking advantage, installing the people that they want to lead these countries. As long as it benefits the West, is the best way that I can put it, without getting into the detail. Marley recently seized gold from a Canadian mining company. Mali recently seized gold from a Canadian mining company. The gold that Mali seized is worth $287 million and they seized it for unpaid taxes that Canada has not paid the Mali government for the gold that it's extracting from its country. Remember, africa is meant to be poor. So for Mali to seize $287 million of gold because of unpaid tax, does that sound like a poor country to you? They're rich in natural resources and these natural resources are needed by the West. So the West takes the West, pillages, undercuts and undermines so that the West can seem rich. Then they create something called ECOWAS to control the key countries that they want to use and abuse.
Speaker 1:Go and do your research. Go and do your research. Bukina Faso. I really pray for the long life and health of Ibrahim Torere. I do because what tends to happen whenever any country moves to the truth and wants to recognize liberation from the West? The West creates propaganda to kill that person, and they usually use people from that country, close allies of that person, to kill them. Then they install the person, or they leave them high and dry and install the person they want.
Speaker 1:One thing about Africa I feel like as a continent, we've been through so much and we've been made to give up a lot. They came, they took, they pillaged, they removed education, they removed religion, and once you take education and religion, what you're doing is taking control. They said that what we have already is no good. They wanted to come there and take. So I think we should open our eyes. A single currency, a single African currency in Africa will undermine the dollar, the pound and the euro, and they don't want that. They need Africa to remain poor so they can remain rich. And that's all I'm going to say on it Very high level. See how I'm just giving you guys something.
Speaker 1:Colonisation is in their blood. It's in their blood. They've been told that they're better than and we're less than, so when you're going into a workplace, they're trying to colonise you there too. That's the truth. I can't be colonised. You can't re-colonise. You're not over here.
Speaker 1:I want equity, I want fairness, I want balance. I want you to recognise my skill. I want you to understand that you cannot colonise me. We can all be peaceful, we can all work together, but you're not going to use your privilege to oppress me. The reason I've created this platform is to create a safe space for black women, first and foremost, and for us to be safe enough to discuss our experiences, because I feel like if we don't share, we don't know. I feel like it's important, as black women, that we find our voices and use the system that has been created to oppress us to liberate ourselves. I truly believe in the greatness of us as black women, but I also understand how the system has been created. I'll give you an example. I am recently I've got so my daughter is 21 months old. Right, she's going to be two in May.
Speaker 1:Every book we have, every book like so we have a lot of books by black authors. So, those books aside, every other book will talk about queens, and all the queens are white women. The books that talk about queens are white women. So you're already conditioning these kids to believe that they're not queens, to believe that they're not queens. The way the way that you have oppressed Africa to believe that we're not worth anything, we're poor, we don't have nothing. Then you create the systems to keep us poor is now the way that you're conditioning the children to believe that they're not queens. Because if they don't see themselves as that, they will see the white person as that. That's fucking crazy. So you know what we did in it all them books. We removed them from the house. You're not gonna condition my child to believe that only white women are queens. That's not what we're doing in this house, because I'm raising a queen in this house. I'm raising a confident black queen in this house. I'm raising a child that understands her identity. I'm raising a child to know the power of who she is.
Speaker 1:I bought my daughter a crown for wash days. Yeah. So we put a crown on during wash days, when we're washing her hair. Take her to the mirror and we say can you do a roll wave? She'll wave hi there, hi there, queen, queen, queen, and she'll say her name every single morning. We not only do we do positive affirmations. She's almost two, she will tell you. I'm funny, I love my parents, I am kind. My daughter is 21 months old. She talks. It's just because I don't Even liar. That's why I don't talk.
Speaker 1:If you want to raise queens, start with what you teach them in the house, because these books, books, these history books are telling an alternative facts history, world war one and two, I didn't even know there was black people that fought in the war. I swear to god I didn't. It was only in the last five years. I've learned that because the history that I was taught in my education there was no black people in world war one and world war two. The books didn't show no black people. In World War I and World War II the books didn't show no black people. So I didn't know that. But the war was one of the backs of immigrants. That's the history they don't want to teach you. The alternative history the economy was revived here in the UK of the blacks, of immigrants, windrush. They don't want to talk about these things and if they do, when they tell you what they did to people that came over here. It's an abomination. That's an abomination. These are the alternative facts, the alternative history they want to teach our children. No, you teach your history, but the history we teach in our house will prevail. That's the truth.
Speaker 1:Black history isn't just about Malcolm X and Martin Luther King. It's also about Harriet Tubman and the liberation of slaves. It's also dealing with colonisation, the effects of colonisation on the black community. That is the history that you also need to teach our children. You need to teach our children. Where did music come from? How was music used during the slave trade? How about the cane? Rowing of the hare was to teach and show slaves the path to escape so they can liberate themselves from slavery. They don't want that history, the history they want to come and tell my child about the battle of hastings. We are definitely in the battle of hastings because you people are harshly mad. That's not my child. You're going to teach that to the black.
Speaker 1:History that needs to be taught is about identity. When you can identify with the history in which you originated from, that's when we start to develop character. That's when we develop identity. I'm telling you this now and I'm saying it so people can hear. Don't allow propaganda to cheat you out of the origins of your greatness. That's what I'm going to leave you with. So when you see me going hard in my career and you see me going hard in business, you see me going hard in shit, you better understand it's because I am liberating myself from what I have been conditioned to believe.
Speaker 1:You want to call me a prostitute. You want to make me a laughingstock and humiliate me, because that's how you see black women historically. That's where that comes from. Listen, listen. The day this man causes me to go to hr for his second offense I'm gonna as I'm saying this to you is exactly what I'm gonna say there.
Speaker 1:The black history needs to be discussed as the backdrop to this prejudice and humiliating in in what I endured. For three minutes I'll tell them I've taken a personal offense. Do you know what black women went through during the slave trade? Then you want to come and use your prejudice because you believe that my, my pink light is red, so I must be a prostitute. My house is a brothel. I'm a madam, so I'm even the highest form of prostitute I should. That's the compliment you. I'm a madame, so I'm even the highest form of prostitute I should be. That's the compliment you gave me. That's how I took what that man said. I swear on everything and he'll keep. He'll keep Because I'm going to deal with him. I'm not allowing any white man to think he can talk to me anyhow, because I'm not gonna lie to you.
Speaker 1:On that 24th of December, when those men came there, it's like I closed my eyes. They must have thought I was on a plantation, the way they were talking to me. If you want to get real in. What guys on these? These are the things, because I'm thinking in any given day. You can never come and talk to me like this Are you crazy? The system is broken. The system is broken when they genuinely think they can just talk and do with us anyhow. It can't happen.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you if you want freedom, you have to take it. You, if you want freedom, you have to take it. If you want to be liberated from oppression, you have to take freedom, and part of taking freedom is educating yourself. What are the facts, what is the history? I'm not here by accident. I'm here because my ancestors made sacrifices. I'm here because of what has been ordained from the beginning of time. That's why I'm here. I know why I'm here. So what you are never going to do is try to uproot me from my destiny. It's never going to happen. That's the hill I'm willing to die on.
Speaker 1:I didn't get to where I am because of any privilege. There's no privilege that has been afforded to me. I got here through sheer hard work. So navigating these white spaces is going to be strategy. I don't operate from emotion. I operate from strategy because I understand being a black woman in white spaces is walking with one hand behind my back, so I have to forcibly get that hand behind my back so that I can operate with everything of me.
Speaker 1:Do you know how exhausting it is to know that you're going into white spaces? And they know that you're the only one, or you're one of, but irrespective of the minority, but yet they still feel the need to oppress you, to allow themselves to remember what they've been taught, that they're better than you. You're not better than me. By the time I finish my grammar, you're done. I will, just I will write that grammar for you. Apostrophe, full stop, comma, paragraph. I will do it for you.
Speaker 1:Liberate yourself from the oppression that you have been conditioned to believe about yourself. Liberate yourself. It's your job to liberate yourself, because if you're waiting for these people to recognise you rubbish, rubbish. You could be the most qualified, but yet they will tell you you're on par with everybody else, you could be the best in class. They will say oh, we have to give you a B because we have quite a lot of people that have a rating. What is that? What the fuck is that? I had someone recently come to me said oh toyah, I was told that you studied xyz, so I just wanted to pick your brain. No, I didn't pick anyone's brain. I went there going to do the research.
Speaker 1:You're not going to use me as a bridge, motherfucker, because those bridges were built off the backs of immigrants. You're still wanting me to build a bridge for you? Build your own motherfucking bridge. I'm here for the. I'm here to share, for the growth, the upliftment of my black sisters. I'm not here to be a bridge for people who have willfully oppressed my community. I'm not your bridge, motherfucker. Go and get your wood, go and get your tools and build your own bridge. I'm going to leave it there.
Speaker 1:Those who have ears let them hear. I hope you receive everything I'm sharing in the podcast. Listen. One thing I'm always going to say is I definitely believe that there is a space for me to be able to podcast and be able to share, uplift, encourage. I know there's a lot of people who have benefited from the podcast. I know there's a lot of people who continue to benefit from the podcast and for me, this new setup I have whereby you know, I talk about different things that will enable us to learn and grow as a community but, more importantly, to advance ourselves.
Speaker 1:It's really important. Knowledge has to be power, because they've spent a lot of time. They've spent a lot of time rewriting history, so that knowledge has to stand for something. It is powerful to be able to be educated in something to your benefit. It's also equally as important for you to open your mind to receive what is your destiny. It's so easy to think you don't deserve in a society that tells you you don't deserve. But if you want freedom, you need to educate yourself. You need to take it To the West. Even Nelson Mandela was a terrorist and was even on the USA terrorist watch list until 2008. To the West anyone fighting against slavery, colonialism, racism is a terrorist.
Speaker 1:Listen, if you want to follow me on social media, toya underscore Washington on Instagram. Follow the Toya Talks podcast on Instagram as well. I'm also on TikTok. If you have a work dilemma or a life-related dilemma that you want us to talk about, your anonymity will be protected and it will not be shared. In the subject box, just write dilemma and what your goal state is. What are you trying to achieve? What would be your utopia in terms of a resolution to your dilemma, and then we'll discuss it here on the podcast. I know I've got a couple of dilemmas in the mailbox so I will probably in the next episode be doing dilemmas, but email hello at toyotalkscom. If you're interested in any of the masterclasses, which will soon be updated with a bit more information, as employment legislation in the UK has changed, please go ahead and have a look on our website, wwwtoyotalkscom.
Speaker 2:My name is Toya Washington and you've been listening to the Toya Talks podcast. Black Queen energy grown. No fantasy, just real talk, from classroom dreams to boardroom walk. Black woman power watch it shine. Breaking barriers, redesigning time From Tottenham Roads to CEO, every step, teaching what we know, not just surviving but thriving more, opening every closed door. Toya Talks, toya Talks. Toya Talks. Black Queen's to the top and we're still going.